XXX

Zee just fell out the window.

Or, he climbed out the window and then fell.

Oh, holy fricc.

His student just randomly flipped out and fell out of a second-story window. Which, while it could be worse (he could have been on a higher floor), he knew that Zee was very likely hurt.

Dib dashed out of the classroom and immediately down the nearest flight of stairs, exiting the school building in record time and running to the area beneath his classroom window. As he approached, Zim used his spider legs to crawl through the open window safely. They arrived at the spot Zee fell at about the same time and stood there, staring in shock for a moment.

Zee wasn't the one on the ground. Or, rather, it probably was him, but his appearance had completely changed. His skin was green, and he had no hair, no nose, and no ears. He did have antennae, as well as a very distinct alien symbol on his shirt. He also had sparks coming from a small device on the side of his neck. And he was apparently unconscious.

Zee was an Irken.

That realization hit him at about the same time as the realization that he should probably check that Zee was still breathing. He probably wouldn't have died from that height, but landing wrong from even a short height could have horrible consequences. Zee could've snapped his neck.

Thankfully, he could see Zee's chest rising and falling. He was alive. By the looks of it, he had hit his head, though. Dib wouldn't be surprised if Zee had a concussion. He was pretty sure Irkens could get concussions? Maybe? They had brains, right? (Did they have brains?)

Shaking himself, Dib turned toward his roommate, who had been staring at Zee in uncharacteristic silence.

"Zim."

Zim's gaze shifted to look at him.

"Did you bring your voot to come here?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Can you bring it over here? He doesn't seem to be waking up, and we can't leave him here undisguised for very long," Dib requested.

"Ah, right."

At that, Zim spun around and began walking toward wherever he left his cloaked voot cruiser.

In the meantime, Dib turned his attention back to Zee. Yes, he was undoubtedly Irken. Looking back, it was obvious- albeit usually less obvious than Zim. He wouldn't have really known Zee was Irken if he hadn't apparently broken his cloaking device. Well, that certainly explained why Zee always acted so strangely, at least.

Oh, but it raised a countless number of new questions.

Why was Zee here? Did it have to do with Zim? Did the Tallest send Zee to kill him? Did they forget Zim was here and send Zee to conquer Earth? Was this another situation like what happened with Tak? Or was something entirely different going on? And why had he freaked out like that when Zim showed up?

Dib didn't have any clue, but he knew that Zee was hurt and undisguised, and therefore, in danger. Hopefully, Zee wasn't a threat, but whether he was or not, he needed to be moved somewhere safer.

Eventually, Zim brought the voot cruiser over to them. It was currently disguised as a car. And yes, while it would be incredibly suspicious if anyone saw a teacher dragging his unconscious student into a car and driving away, it would hopefully be less suspicious than an unconscious alien laying there. Hopefully, if anyone saw and somehow didn't notice that Zee was an alien, they would buy that Dib had just been trying to get him to the hospital. He could just say he panicked if they asked why he didn't call an ambulance. Right. That's what he would do.

It wasn't too hard to get Zee into the voot cruiser. The biggest problem was that Zee was, well, big. Or, tall. The voot cruiser was obviously made for shorter beings- it was already a stretch for adult Dib to ride in it. But Zee was even taller than he was, and they both had to fit into it, along with Zim. And it didn't exactly help that Zee was too unconscious to sit up.

In tense silence, Zim began to steer the voot cruiser toward their shared home.

XXX

After they arrived, Dib had to carry Zee into the house and place him on the couch. He still hadn't woken up, which wasn't exactly a good sign. Dib took a deep, deep breath in. He would have to call Zee's mother. Actually, he wasn't even sure if Zee's mother was real or not now. Was she robotic, like Zim's robot parents when they were children? Or was she also an Irken? Heck, she might even be a brainwashed human or something. She might not even exist at all. If Zee could create such a realistic disguise, he might just play the role of his own mother. Ah, well, he should at least try to contact her. If she was real, she might have some answers regardless of what she turned out to be.

Dib, of course, didn't know the woman's number off the top of his head, so he had to open up his work computer and log into the school's student information system. Zim, meanwhile, had taken up residence in a chair he'd dragged in front of the couch. He was staring at Zee, his expression unreadable. Dib understood why. Neither of them knew why Zee was here, so Zim didn't know what to expect or how to feel. He at least knew that he should keep an eye on their unexpected house guest, either for the sake of their own safety or Zee's health (both?).

It wasn't hard to find the phone number- the teacher's were given contact information for their students' guardians, after all- so Dib soon found himself listening to a ringing coming from the other line as he waited with trepidation.

After about 4 rings, the call was answered.

"Hello?"

Okay. He got an answer. That meant he was at least talking to someone, right?

"Ah… Hello…," Dib spoke, trying to keep his voice as normal as possible. "Is this, uh, Bee Smith?"

Oh for… no wonder their names sounded like that. They were Irken names with a common human last name added to the end of them.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Well, uh… This is Mr. Membrane. I'm Zee's calculus and homeroom teacher," Dib replied.

"Ah. Is this about that 'detension' thing?"

"Uh… well… no…," he spoke, silently cursing all the stumbling over his own words. "There was an… accident…"

"An accident?"

Dib was glad he could hear a slight tinge of concern over Zee's wellbeing, even over the phone. If he was really speaking to Zee's mother, he wouldn't have liked hearing that she didn't care.

"Yes, um…," Dib continued. "It would probably be best to discuss what happened in person. Would you mind coming to this address…?"

He quickly rattled off his home address, knowing that, had this just been a normal call home to a parent, he could get in trouble for so much of this situation. He was relying on the assumption that, no matter what Zee's mother was, she was aware of what he was at least. If she did turn out to be a brainwashed human, or if she just somehow didn't know Zee was Irken, that might lead to trouble for him. But what else could he do? He couldn't bring Zee to a hospital, and he had to talk to this woman to hopefully figure out what exactly was going on.

"... Alright. I'll be there in about 15 minutes."

XXX

Bee was suspicious. The teacher's voice had sounded strange over the phone- it was apprehensive, and there seemed to be some deception to it. He didn't seem to be lying, but he was likely hiding something, and Bee didn't like when people were hiding things. Secrets made people dangerous, and dangerous people were to be avoided.

And dangerous people definitely shouldn't have Zee.

The teacher had told her that this wasn't about the detention Zee was attending. If not, then why was this teacher calling her? Why wasn't Zee on his way home? What kind of accident would stop him from returning, would make his teacher call her. Why hadn't Zee been able to contact her himself?

Zee very well might have been captured, and this was an attempt to either capture her as well or perhaps even try to get a ransom for Zee. If this situation turned into something like that, Bee would fight if she had to.

Before she left the house, human disguise on, Bee grabbed her laser gun and slid it into her purse.

XXX

It was a strained fifteen minutes that passed in Dib and Zim's shared living room. Zee was still out cold, and Zim had kept up his watch for most of it. He had, however, gone to get a weapon from his lab upon Dib's request. He hoped they wouldn't have to use it, and he made it very clear to Zim that he couldn't use it unless things went south, but Dib had wanted to make sure they could protect themselves in the event that Zee and/or his mother ended up being a threat.

And almost exactly fifteen minutes after the end of that phone call, they heard the doorbell ring. Dib felt himself flinch the slightest bit as the sound broke up the silence he and Zim had fallen into. But regardless, he steeled himself and went to answer the door.

On the other side, he found a human-looking woman who bore a striking resemblance to Zee. Or at least, to Zee's human disguise. They had the same hair, skin, and eye colors, and she was even wearing the same purple sweater that Zee tended to wear a few times a week. She was, to his slight surprise, not very short. In fact, she was within the range of average height for an adult human rather than having the childlike stature of most Irkens. But, Zee was taller than he was, so it wasn't completely unreasonable to think that she might just be a taller-than-average Irken.

She smiled a small smile, looking polite but a bit forced.

"I'm Bee Smith. You told me my son was in an accident?" Bee told him.

"Yes… Uh, please, come in."

Dib gestured for her to enter, and the woman stepped inside without further comment. She had, however, frozen immediately afterward, having spotted Zim, who had moved to stand in what appeared to be a casual slouch against the wall. But Dib could see how tense his roommate was, and he could also see the way Zim's hand twitched slightly as he readied himself to pull out his weapon.

The expression on Bee's face had changed as well. When he answered the door, she had looked like a polite, slightly concerned and confused parent. Now, her eyes were hard and sharp, and he saw her hand twitch once in the same way Zim's had.

Well, crap.

"Look-" Zim started before being cut off by Bee.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her hand drifting the tiniest bit closer to her purse.

Zim scoffed.

"What am I doing here?!" Zim questioned back. "I'm trying to ask you that! I've been here! You two are the suspicious ones!"

Zim gestured between Bee and Zee a few times as he glared at the woman. Bee returned the look with a glare just as fierce once she saw Zee on the couch. She was apparently unsurprised to see him undisguised, so if there wasn't already enough evidence that she knew, that certainly answered that question.

"We're suspicious?! Why is Zee unconscious in your house?!"

… That was a valid question. It did look rather suspicious.

"Because he tried to climb out a window when I went to retrieve the Dib-worm!" Zim shouted back. "If you two aren't suspicious, why would he try to run away?!"

"Because you're obviously an Irken!"

As she said this, her hand moved to hover right above her purse, and in response, Zim put his hand on the gun in its holster. Okay, this was likely going to get bad if he didn't step in and try to defuse the situation a bit.

"Wait, wait wait! Hold on for a minute, okay?!" he inserted quickly. "We're all just trying to figure out what's going on, yeah? No need to start fighting, right?"

Bee turned her glare to him, though she was clearly keeping Zim in her line of sight as well.

"Let's just talk, alright?" Dib asked. "You said Zee was trying to run because Zim's an Irken, right? But he's clearly an Irken, and I'm guessing you are too. So, why would he run?"

"I'm not answering anything until you explain why you're here!" Bee responded sharply.

It seemed clear that Bee really didn't know why Zim was here. And if that was the case, then she probably hadn't been sent by the Tallest. Granted, she might just be pretending to not know, but then why hadn't she started attacking them yet? And why was she acting like they were the ones in danger.

Zim apparently realized this as well, because, despite growling first, he decided to speak.

"The Tallest sent me on a fake mission to conquer Earth in an attempt to banish me," Zim answered with a huff, putting one arm on his hip. "Dib's just a normal human-worm-baby."

"The Tallest sent you here?!"

Bee's face had shifted into definite fear, similar to the terror Zee had displayed shortly before he fell out the window. Her hand twitched toward her concealed weapon again.

"Were you listening?!" Zim shouted back bitterly. "I said that they banished me! It was a fake mission! They haven't even contacted me in years!"

Dib knew that the tallest were a bit of a touchy subject for Zim. After being such a ridiculously loyal, if ineffective, soldier for the Irken empire, he had been hit hard by the realization that his mission was a joke once he actually managed to reach that conclusion. Even now, Dib knew that Zim's feelings toward the Tallest and Irk were conflicted sometimes. He usually chose not to bring either topic up nowadays.

Bee blinked.

"... Really…?" she questioned. "Why?"

"... I ruined Impending Doom 1…"

Dib knew that Zim hadn't given Bee the full answer on that one. Of course, what happened with Impending Doom 1 had been a major component of why Zim was so hated by his own species, but that wasn't the only reason. And many of those reasons were far more personal when it came to the Tallest, who hated Zim with a passion fueled only by the amusement they felt at seeing him suffer. Once they were no longer entertained, they had finally made that hatred known to Zim explicitly, right as it shifted into a bored apathy that likely felt worse to Zim.

But Bee's expression shifted, and Dib could see that she recognized what he was saying.

"... Zim…," she gasped quietly. "Oh, you're that Zim."

"Do you… Do you two know each other?" Dib asked.

Zim rolled his eyes.

"No, Dib," he sighed. "But everyone knows about what happened with Impending Doom 1."

He returned his attention to Bee, glaring.

"So? Why are you here?"

Bee's expression softened back to neutrality, and though her hand remained in position to grab her gun, it didn't look like she was any closer to using it.

"So… You're not in contact with the Tallest?"

Zim growled.

"Didn't I already say I wasn't?!"

"What reason do I have to believe you?! Even if you screwed up a mission, you were still an invader!" Bee retorted.

"Well, what are you then?!" Zim shot back.

Bee began to glare again.

"I was a scientist."

"... Was?" Dib muttered.

"In case you haven't guessed, Zee and I are no longer part of the Irken Empire," Bee hissed.

Now, Zim's face softened.

"What, so you were banished too?"

But Bee shook her head.

"More like we ran," she replied cryptically.

It seemed like the situation was cooling down, and Dib wanted to prevent it from escalating again.

"Hey, so it looks like we're all on the same side, right? So let's just calm down," he tried.

"Side?" Bee questioned. "What, are you rebels or something?"

"Of course not!" Zim denied.

"So you are with the Tallest?!"

"Hold on, hold on!" Dib cut in again. "Okay, wrong choice of words. We're not rebels, but we're not with the Tallest either. We're just… here. We're not a threat to you or Zee."

"Unless you make us be."

"That… is. Not. Helping. Zim."

Bee raised one hand and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Look. I just want to know what's going on," Bee sighed deeply. "If you're not with the Tallest, what did you do to Zee and why?"

"We didn't do anything to him," Zim scoffed. "He did that to himself."

"Oh, he just knocked himself unconscious?!" Bee laughed harshly.

"Um. Well. Sort of?" Dib replied. "Clearly, accusing each other isn't helping, so maybe let's just get it all out there, okay? We really haven't hurt Zee."

With another narrowing of her eyes, Bee let out a huff.

"Very well."

And then she pressed the side of her neck, and her disguise fell, revealing an Irken with curled antennae and purple eyes.

"But you start."

XXX

Yeah, none of these guys are on the same page, and they're all paranoid.

XXX