A/N - Urgh, I've had a really shit day today! I've had my identity stolen online (which is really strange as I am pedantic about being careful for so many reasons, have a VPN, don't store any card details online etc...) and my bank account rifled through. Luckily the account they got into is my savings account which had about £4.50 in it so I didn't lose out but it's a horrible thing to have had happen. I feel quite violated! And quite ready to punch her in the face!

I guess some people are just arseholes... all I can say is that I hope their next shit is a pinecone.

Anyway, a special thanks to my beta... as always, I really appreciate the help and support.

.oOo. Chapter Twenty Three .oOo.

Beca had just sat down with two large cups of coffee at one of the side tables in the Mom and Pop style coffee shop when Chloe walked in, shaking out her hair as her eyes swept the room for Beca, who noted, with a slight pang, that Chloe looked relieved as anything that she was where she said she would be.

"Sorry, that took a bit longer than I thought it would," Chloe said, by way of additional greeting. "The receptionist collared me on the way through so I said we'd go back in a bit to make another appointment."

"I have a question about that." Beca said, as Chloe shrugged off her jacket and hung it on the back of the chair, before pulling it out and sitting down. She nodded at Beca for her to continue. "How did you get an appointment at such short notice? I looked them up and there's a waiting list for even just a consultation."

Chloe felt a slight rush run through her that Beca was interested enough to research them before she turned up for the appointment that morning. She ducked her head to the left as she saw a random person on the street stop in mid step, pausing to take another look at her, clearly recognising her. Beca followed her interaction and visibly flinched.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just the guy on the street is about to take my picture." She said, looking up. "And I've got yesterday's makeup on!"

"Sucks to be you, huh? Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"No, here's fine. I'll just turn my back a little. It's okay, I'm used to it. I'd just rather not be interrupted while I'm talking to you." She explained and didn't mention the pink tinge that appeared on Beca's cheeks. "So, to answer your question, I got a consultation with them last minute because... well, because of who I am."

"Guess it doesn't suck all the time then?" Beca mused, lifting the lid of her coffee and inhaling the freshly ground aroma.

"How much do I owe you for the coffee?"

"Nothing, it's on me." Beca replied, snatching up four packets of sugar and ripping the tops off.

"Well, thank you."

"Welcome." Beca nodded, pouring the sugar into her drink and looked around for something to stir it with.

"Here." Chloe handed her a thin straw that was in a container to the side of their table.

"Thanks." Beca said, stirring her drink quickly before lifting the cup to her lips. "Shit, that's hot!"

She laughed at herself, in spite of her sore mouth.

"How's Jessie doing?"

"She's... she's doing okay."

"Is she sleeping any better?" Beca asked hopefully. Chloe shook her head.

"No, it's like she's missing something. I read the girls a bedtime story, and she seems okay and settled but as soon as I go back downstairs, I can hear her get up and move around the bedroom. I do check on her, to see if she needs a drink or to use the bathroom, but she jumps back into bed and pretends to be asleep. She's not going to get in trouble for not sleeping."

"She's not used to having people on two floors." Beca explained, blowing lightly on her coffee before she took a small sip. "I was only ever six feet away from her in our apartment. When she was at Amy's, she just fell asleep while watching television and if she was ever at Luke's, I think she used to have so much fun with him, she'd just fall asleep out of exhaustion."

"Okay, I'll try to remember that and not take it personally."

"I'm sure you are doing fine." Beca said, a small lump coming back up into her throat as she thought of Jessie missing her. "Look, I know you asked me last time what you could do to help her sleep and I'm sorry I was such a dick to you... and her, and didn't give you a proper answer."

"No need to apologise. I understand why you didn't want to share your secrets. I'd probably be the same."

"I doubt that. You actually do seem like a nice person." Beca smirked. "But anyway, with Jessie, the best thing to do is to sing."

"Sing?"

"Yeah, it calms her."

"What song?" Chloe asked.

"Anything that comes to mind."

"You sing to her?"

"From the day I brought her home. Usually just make up a song as I go along, sometimes it's just a grocery list or things I have to do. It helps me remember, as well. I didn't even have to be next to her, just the sound of my voice seemed to soothe her, so I always sang as she drifted off to sleep."

"That's beautiful." Chloe smiled. "Kate takes a while to go to sleep, needs a nightlight and half a dozen stories usually but Alex sleeps like the dead. Once her head hits the pillows, she's out."

"She gets that from her Dad." Beca explained, smiling genuinely for the first time in a very long time.

"Yeah?"

"That guy could sleep through anything, including a smoke alarm, which is in fact a true story. So yeah, he slept like the living dead except when I'd open a packet of cookies." Beca chuckled at the memory of her and Jesse's numerous sleepovers. "Dude's eyes would open so fast, it was like a light bulb switching on!"

"That's a lovely memory to have."

"It's all I've got of him now. Memories."

"There's Alex…" Chloe trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. "I am really sorry about that way this all turned out."

"Yeah, well, the better parent won, I guess."

"Neither one of us has won here, Beca. I realise I've done a lot of things very, very wrong here."

"So have I. But I meant what I said, I do want to move forward and not dwell on what's happened. I need to do this for Alex and Jessie." Beca scoffed. "It's so weird, I always think to ask about Jessie... but never about Alex."

"It's not weird. There's no rule book for how you're feeling, and the same for me." Chloe said kindly.

"I have the rest of Jessie's things in my car. Her toys and clothes. I know you'll probably be wanting to dress her in something better, probably designer and buy her new toys, but they are hers and familiar to her so…" Beca said, after a few moments of reflection. "Once I've got my car started, I'll get them to you."

"Oh. Right." Chloe looked confused. "Don't you want to keep them? For when she visits?"

"My apartment is half an hour away from your house." Beca said simply and without malice. "By the time I got her back to my place, it would be time to leave again. I'd rather not waste my allotted hour in a car."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"How exactly does it work?"

"I'm sorry?"

"With the time I'm allowed with the girls. Is it supervised? Are you there too? Do I meet you somewhere? Is there a drop off point? Am I allowed to take them somewhere or do I have to stay in the same location so you can keep an eye on me?"

"I don't really know. I'm sorry." Chloe said, shaking her head.

"You say sorry a lot."

"I guess I do. I've got a lot to feel sorry about."

"It must be hard," Beca muttered thinly, after a few moments of quiet.

"What's that?"

"Sitting in your ivory tower. Coming from a good home. Having a good family. Having a life where no one judges you. Being able to trust people and even have strangers save your life…" Beca trailed off; knowing it wasn't Chloe's fault that she'd been lucky enough to be born into a better life than hers. Just because she wasn't, didn't make it right to be rude to someone who had.

"I'm truly sorry it came to this." Chloe raked her fingernails over her throat as her face turned pink. Beca could see she was about to cry. Her nervousness at the situation was beginning to show. She desperately wanted to reach out and touch Beca. She heard what Beca was saying and was taking her words to heart. She wished Beca could see things from her side and understand that she wasn't the horrible monster she was being made out to be. "I never thought Judge Highberger would make the decision he did."

"Then why put us through it all? You must have known it wouldn't end well. How can someone like me, who's now got nothing to live for by the way, compete with someone like you?"

"Don't say that."

"You really don't know the first thing about me."

"I know you are loving, hardworking, capable, and honest. You've seemingly set out and are achieving everything you said you would. You saved my life once and only a good person would put themselves in harm's way to help another."

"And just look what I got for doing that for you."

"I've been hurt as much as you have, Beca. I've lost everything too."

"How? How exactly have you lost everything, Ms. Beale-Mitchem? The last time I looked, you had it all."

"Appearances can be…" Chloe paused for a brief moment to try to think of a word to use.

"Deceptive?" Beca snapped.

"Yes, deceptive."

"What a shame you couldn't afford me the same courtesy in the courtroom."

"I was frightened. I thought we were losing the case. I didn't mean for Oliver to bring the past up, about your Mom."

"You? Losing?" Beca scoffed.

"Yes."

"I lost the case the day it started!" Beca cried out. "Ms. Davies is your biggest fan and was always going to be on your side."

There was silence for a little while and the air in the room felt thick with emotion and unspoken words. Beca looked at Chloe who was busy examining a short loose thread on her sleeve. Beca could see she was physically shaking and a flicker of something ran through her. She didn't know what it was, but it made her heart and her head hurt.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag it out, seeing as I just said that we need to move on." Beca said, gazing out of the window to avoid looking at Chloe.

"It's okay. We've got things we both need to say." Chloe could see that Beca was still in such pain and she hated that she was the cause of so much of Beca's distress. She didn't want Beca to hate her. She wanted to find out a way to make this work for both of them, for the girls too. They had a deep connection now, an invisible thread that would connect them forever.

"Beca, I asked for us a chance to talk today, without anyone else here. I thought it would be easier if we could speak freely. I thought the Institute would be able to give us a structure, but clearly they are all just mad."

Beca continued to stare out of the window but she turned her head slightly, which Chloe took to be a sign she was listening even though she was pretending not to.

"I want to hear what you need. I'd like to tell you what I need. And maybe we can come up with something in the middle that suits us both. And the girls."

"And your husband."

"Huh?"

"Your husband. Dude in the suit and pink tie that made all those shitty comments about my career, brushing off what little success I've had in comparison to yours in court."

"That was wrong of David and I'm sorry." Chloe sighed. "I should have stopped him at the time. I've made him understand that he was wrong to do that."

"I should have hired a better lawyer, but I doubt you had any dirt on you anyway." Beca scoffed. "But my juvie record, really?"

"David and I argued a lot that night, over what was said. It wasn't fair. I'm sorry."

"I've tried so hard to put my past behind me. My upbringing is part of me but it doesn't define the path I'm going on. I've left my humble beginnings behind me. It's a shame that others want to see my failures, not my successes. It's as if-"

"-We aren't together anymore." Chloe suddenly blurted out and Beca's eyes snapped to Chloe's.

"Who isn't?"

"David and I." Chloe said simply.

"What?" Beca watched Chloe's face drop.

"We've not been together for a while now."

"You looked pretty together in court if you ask me."

"I asked him to be there as my husband for the sake of the girls. I requested that he show up and support us as a family. As their father, biological or surrogate, he had a right to know what was going to happen." Chloe explained.

"I don't get it," Beca scoffed at her own words as she was repeating Amy's mantra from a few days before, when they last had attempted to meet up.

"I realise I should have made it clear that we had separated a long time ago. We still plan on parenting together, but we are living apart."

"How long?"

"Huh?"

"How long have you been separated?"

"Right after the girls were born," Chloe admitted and Beca's eyes went wide.

"That's a long time."

"We drifted apart after the accident."

"People don't usually drift apart unless there was something wrong in the first place," Beca stated matter of factly.

Chloe nodded at the simplicity of her statement and fiddled with the ring on her finger.

"I met him when I was eighteen. Got swept up in the routine and expectation of dating, then marriage, then kids. It was easy. I had wanted to graduate college, travel the world a little, start a career and settle down after that. But then I met his parents. His family were and still are great and I loved them. Probably more than I loved him. "

"I had the opposite," Beca explained. "Known Jesse since I was in first grade. He was a good guy. His family was great. He died, they blamed me and never spoke to me again. We all made our feelings clear."

"How long did you date Jesse?"

"We never dated, remember? He was like my brother."

"But I-

"-It was just a one time thing with him. I didn't want him in that way, God, no. I honestly don't know what happened that night. We weren't drunk, it was just… maybe we knew something was wrong and he needed to leave some part of him behind. He was, and still is, the only man I've ever…" Beca gave a little shudder, realising she was sharing way too much with the woman she was desperately trying to hate. "… dating him, just no. Guys are... I don't… well you know, my orientation was tabloid news for a while."

Beca knew that Chloe's lawyers hadn't actually splashed anything about her in the news, in fact, the whole thing had been kept under the radar pretty well, considering. But she'd DJ'd a session in San Francisco over the last Pride Parade weekend and that was the image that was being used in the media when Chloe's recent court trip was being discussed as her being seen in the courthouse at the same time.

"David is currently living in our pool house."

"Pool house," Beca repeated.

"He sleeps there at night but eats with us in the evening and helps put the girls to bed."

"Why didn't he move out?"

"He can't afford to at the moment. There's going to be no settlement from the divorce for him."

"Sounds like he's in it for the money."

"I met him before all of that," Chloe explained. "We lived in a tiny place when we first got married. He put food on the table until I got my first big acting part. It was a couple of months after the girls were born that he needed some time to himself and moved into one of the spare bedrooms while I was at an appointment. I got home, that was that. Our marriage was done."

"You didn't fight for it?"

Chloe shook her head slowly.

"He's not a good person, is he?"

"He used to be," Chloe said easily, a small smile on her lips. "He was sweet and loving and would do everything for me. Now, he's just so angry all the time. It's never directed at the girls, never."

"Is he a good dad?"

Chloe chuckled humourlessly.

"He wanted to try for a baby as soon as we were married. My own mom took twelve years to have me and it was not without complications. I just assumed it would take me a while so I appeased him. It did take a little time but I understand now that he was fulfilling a role. Like I was but he just didn't realise. And I guess I didn't either. I had my doubts early on but I wouldn't have my girls if I'd given up on him so, I guess that was fate's joke on me. He loved me completely but the accident changed everything. He told me he wanted a divorce before the girls had even left the hospital."

"Wow."

"He had a life changing experience and it was the first wrinkle in his perfect life. He took the divorce remark back, but it was already out there, and it was always hanging over us. After leaving the hospital, he started living like a twenty year old with no responsibilities. The girls were tiny, needy, and demanding and we never found time for each other. His parents helped in the first couple of months but I was rushed back into the hospital for surgery and he was nowhere to be found. He realised he wanted nights out with his friends and freedom. Then, my career took off so fast and it was so challenging. He wanted someone at home while he led the good life. But to answer your question, yes, he is a good dad when he puts his mind to it. It's not just going through the motions."

"I'm glad. And happy for you that you found a way to work it out."

"It's just me that he doesn't want anymore. It wasn't a happy marriage in the end."

"How do you mean?"

"He's the middle of five brothers. It's a very male dominated family. They don't talk about the deep stuff. How could he tell them that he was different?"

"Different?"

"He became angry all the time, irrational and moody," Chloe repeated. "I blamed it on lack of sleep, and he went on medication. He started drinking heavily. Like really heavily. There were nights where… um… he became very difficult to live with."

"How do you mean? He was a bad drunk?"

"Something like that," Chloe said, wincing a little. Beca noticed how dull Chloe's eyes went as she obviously recalled some bad memories.

"What happened?" Beca asked, her voice softer.

"He became… um, abusive."

"What the fuck?" Beca's eyes were as wide as could be and she sat up in her chair.

"He hadn't dealt with the accident, didn't have counselling."

"That doesn't make it okay to hurt you!" Beca said, her voice rising in anger. Whatever she thought about Chloe, no one deserved to live in fear.

"He didn't hurt…" Chloe breathed out before pausing for a moment, knowing what she was about to say next would have been a lie. She looked out of the windows, lost in her thoughts. "… it took me a long time to realise what was happening. It started off as small things when he got home from the hospital and by the end of the first month, he had me pinned to the bed one night screaming abuse about me seeing other people. He'd wear me down with his constant barrages of ugly comments that it was easier to play the part of his wife, rather than be his wife."

"Why didn't you report him?"

"I guess I still loved him, in my own way. I thought he would change back. I said some hurtful things to him, but I know that I didn't deserve all he did to me."

"You look so happy together." Beca blindly said.

"I'm a good actress," Chloe said, sending Beca a tiny wink. "I learnt how to calm him when the temper would threaten. I continued to let him have use of the house, so he'd take care of it."

'…so I'm not at work and with them at Chloe's house…' David's comment in court flashed through Beca's mind.

"Why didn't you just get the Police involved?"

"Because I didn't want my life appearing as entertainment on the evening news. With my career, I control what gets put on there. With tabloids, it's harder to control."

Beca nodded simply.

"I called the Police on him when the girls were six months old though but those involved were asked to sign a confidentiality agreement."

"What happened?" Beca asked.

"He felt so responsible for his part in the accident. It wasn't our fault, but two people died that day and his brother ended up in a wheelchair. We all still feel partially responsible for what happened. His drinking got so bad one night that I had to call the Police on him. I needed to shock him and it worked. He checked into a rehabilitation centre for three months but he never moved back into the house when he came home and still lives in the pool house."

"That still doesn't give him the right to treat you like that."

Chloe nodded slowly, surprised at how much Beca seemed to care, despite not even wanting to talk to her ten minutes before. She decided to carry on as Beca seemed to be listening intently.

"He told me one night that he didn't want anything more to do with me as every time he looked at me, it reminded him of such a dark time. My own husband fell out of love as quickly as he'd fallen into love."

"What the fuck?"

"It's okay. I understand. He blames it on weakness on his part, not being strong enough to deal with the event and aftermath. But until you are in an out of control situation, you don't know how it will affect you."

"Yeah, but you make a commitment to someone and…" Beca trailed off.

"Everything started to bother him. I could earn good money and he felt his contribution to the family wasn't as great. He admitted he was jealous of me and my success. But he still doesn't understand that part of my success is down to him. I've learned from all of my life experiences. Even meeting you."

"I'm sure I barely made a ripple in your pond," Beca mumbled.

'Oh, if only you knew.' Chloe thought to herself before speaking. "He's in a much better place now and moving on with his life."

"Why? Did he find someone else?" Beca asked.

"Yes, another teacher at his school."

"Holy-"

"-I know about it, I've known for a couple of years now. We talked and… her name is Holly… she knows about us, our situation. They've been together for a couple of years now. Honestly, I'm happy for them both. It's easier to just accept it. I'm glad he told me about her and didn't have an affair behind my back. My life is splashed about on the front pages of magazines, he didn't want me to read about it that way if it got out. My social team and publicists can keep a lid on most things, but tabloids are such a bitch to deal with."

"You don't seem… that upset."

"You can't help who you fall in love with. His family got over the shock although it's not quite the same as it was. His parents… well, we were close and they are angry at him for causing upset. But honestly, I'd rather not get twenty years down the road with us living the way we were. It was hard. His mom and dad travel to see the girls when they can, but David usually goes away when they come. I don't really know why. But, anyway, my parents are in assisted living now, we've not told them as I know they wouldn't understand that it is all for show."

"Your relationship was a lie?"

"No, we genuinely cared for each other. Even now, I still love David, but I'm not in love with him. We led an old married life, and both admit now that we weren't right for each other for the long haul, not the way things are now."

"I guess it's like me and my best friend Jesse." Beca said and Chloe nodded.

"Probably. You'll have to tell me about Jesse one day."

"Yeah, maybe," Beca softly murmured.

"David's moving out soon though."

"Why?"

"We both need to move on with our lives, he needs to give things a go with Holly and while our arrangement works for now, it's holding us both back," Chloe said, not wanting to reveal the news about Holly's pregnancy just yet.

"He wants to leave his daughters?" Beca asked, her eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise.

"He'll see them as much as he can."

"So, you can be a one parent family but I can't," Beca said, her voice rising.

"I know how it sounds. I do. This is why I wanted to talk to you before the meeting with the lawyers a few days ago."

"Again, I'm sorry for not understanding what you were trying to do."

"And I'm sorry too. I came about it in the wrong way." Chloe said, looking at her watch. "Look, I'm really sorry, but I've got to get back to the girls soon."

"Yes, of course," Beca said, not really understanding why her heart suddenly skipped a beat.

"It's been really, really nice talking with you today."

"Yeah, and you Mrs. Mitch-"

"Please, it's Chloe. How about we call tomorrow and talk some more?"

"That sounds okay."

"Good. It'll be when the girls are asleep." Chloe said, standing up and picking up her jacket, laying it over her arm.

"I guess we'd best go back and make another appointment with those weirdos next door." Beca suggested.

"How about we don't?"

"What do you mean?" Beca asked.

"Do we need them to mediate this? We seem to have been okay on our own this morning."

"You're right." Beca grinned. "Fancy that, two adults can be left to talk!"

"Let's go back in there, to save me a phone call later and tell them we're cancelling the rest of the sessions. That sound okay to you?"

"That sounds good."

Beca collected their empty coffee cups and threw them in the trash as they made their way towards the door, talking easily about how nice their drinks were. They walked in silence back towards the Institute and through the revolving doors.

"You can wait here, if you like," Chloe offered.

"No, it's okay. Just in case I have to sign something else I didn't read."

"Hi." Chloe said as the receptionist caught her eye.

"Mrs Mitchem, thank you for coming back. Are you ready to book the next session? Did they suggest a time frame for you?"

"Um, yes, they did. I think they said... three months," Chloe said, looking to Beca for confirmation. The brunette nodded in response. "But actually, we've decided not to continue coming here. We think we'll manage on our own. Please thank Mr Smith and Gail for us."

"Are you sure?" Claudia asked. "We can offer a payment plan or-"

"-No, it's not about that," Chloe looked to Beca again. "I just think we'll be okay from now on."

"Well, okay then. If I can ask you both to sign these discharge papers and non disclosure agreements, citing that you won't discuss the Institute's methods with anyone, you can be on your way," Claudia said, laying four pieces of paper out for them to read.

"No problem, thank you." Chloe said, nodding towards Beca to sign her document first. Chloe picked up her document and speed read through it before Beca handed her the pen.

.oOo.

John and Gail stood on the mezzanine level, above the reception desk and watched as Claudia turned and gave them the thumbs up as Beca and Chloe left together, talking lightly as they made their way back through the revolving door.

"I think we have just seen some institute history being made, John."

"And from an all-female group, Gail. I could never have called this one."

"Never. Well, you are a misogynist at heart, so there's no way you would have bet on these girls to win."

"Absolutely. Looks like our programme worked again. Another success. I told you that acting like a pair of incompetent idiots, would give people a reason to bond over."

"You were right, John. Let's go get some lunch."

.oOo.

"Aubrey Posen."

"Bree, it's Chloe," Chloe said as the call connected in her car as she turned down her road, almost home.

"Hi! How did it go?"

"My trip to the Institute was possibly the weirdest two hours of my life," Chloe laughed.

"Yes, I know, their methods are completely unorthodox and unconventional."

"So, why did you send me?"

"Did you and Beca start to talk again?" Aubrey asked.

"Yes. But not because of them. They weirded us out, so we went for a coffee to talk instead."

"So it worked."

"Well, they didn't help us by-"

"-But it worked," Aubrey interrupted. "My father and I bonded over how ridiculous it all was too in that same coffee shop so I knew it would work for you."

"That was a risky little game," Chloe laughed. "But I thank you for it."

"You're welcome. I've got to run, got a client arriving in five minutes."

"Love you Bree."

"Love you too Chloe."

Chloe ended the call just as she arrived home. She pushed the button on her car's centre console and her gates began to roll back. She sat for a few seconds, thinking that she was pleased to be back home and couldn't wait to see the girls. Parking her car in her usual spot, she reached into her purse to check her phone before entering into the chaos that came with three little girls. She was surprised, but really pleased, to see a message from Beca.

message from beca.m, to chloe.m - 12.04 - Thanks for the lift back to my car. It started the first time and I've just got home! Hope you got home safely too.

Chloe quickly typed a message back.

message from chloe.m, to beca.m - 12.07 - Hi! You're welcome. Thanks again for today, it was really nice to spend some time with you. Talk tomorrow. C x

Chloe was just about to get out of the car when her phone pinged again.

message from beca.m, to chloe.m - 12.08 - And you. Give my love to the girls. Have a great afternoon.

.oOo.