Had to fix some things... Pain in the ass. What I get for not paying attention, eh?

Present Day…

After killing Thundercracker, Starscream's return to Megatron was fleeting. After that, he ran. He had finally had enough. He was scared, confused, angry all at the same time. His biggest problem was getting caught. Figuring he would be found if he remained, he found a new place no one would think to look for him. He'd been living in this nightmare for far longer than he would have liked to begin with and now he'd killed one of his own. He'd managed to control it – If that's what you'd call it – up until now. More like being able to get out of dodge before anyone saw him.

It had been vorns and he'd managed to keep it a secret this long, but now… now he knew he had to do something. He was sure that killing a high ranking officer like Thundercracker was going to be noticed, and the fact he had been acting funny for a while, well, suffice it to say that one thing would lead to another and he would be discovered. He refused to kill Skywarp to keep his secret, which was his only other option. He'd already figured Soundwave or Shockwave would find him – he just hoped later than sooner.

He'd been working on remedies to his problem for a while before his attack on Thundercracker, yes, but had come up with no solutions and gave up. Deciding he was going to do something about this wretched curse, no matter what, Starscream had snuck back to his labs where the scorch marks from the blown Space Bridge technology reminded him of his venture. It was the first time in a long time he'd returned here, as he never wanted to be reminded of that day again, especially after he'd discovered that those weren't mere words that mech spoke of… that... smoke.

His visit didn't last long at all. Taking various equipments with him, he chose a hidden, self-sustainable place no one would think to bother him and set up shop. He needed the time alone to try to figure a way out of this. There, he broke out different serums and injectors, testing supplies and other various things he thought he might need from before. He'd done his research so far, and the few things he hadn't tried, were the more dangerous ones, the ones that had bad side effects that he'd rather not deal with. Taking out a handful of injectors, he knew there was no going back, and he did not know if the side effects would be permanent but he had to try. He'd hoped he'd never have to touch these, but he was desperate. They were specially created and could be recreated if he found they worked. He dipped the injector into his Energon line then pressed the plunger.

At first, he figured it would be a painless ordeal. The hope lasted only a few moments. Then it hit him. The mech felt as though he were suddenly being scorched and shocked from the inside out. His Spark went erratic. He reeled back and screamed as every part of his body hurt so bad there was no explaining it. As the pain dispersed almost as fast as it had come, he weakened, wobbling on his legs and dropping to the ground. He was so weak that he didn't even have the oomph to try to right himself. A few moments later, however, he felt just fine. That was weird…

Because he was testing himself, he did not fight his changes. He allowed the time to pass and did not struggle with his change, trying to see if there was any difference. Ignorance was always one of the better ones. He realized that ignoring the sensations, it seemed to come and go, making his body and mind last longer. As he used the serum to keep away the creature within him, he realized he couldn't give himself these shots of pain every moment, as it only kept the urge away for a short time. Finally, giving up, his need took him over, only this time, his mind didn't shut off like it was supposed to.

This result was why he never went this far with his testing. He, for the first time, felt himself change, he felt his mind alterations, but he also could not stop himself. An astonishing revelation appeared to him as well.

The change to his vision was bizarre but also beautiful. He couldn't explain it. Things seem to light up in the darkness, auras appeared around different things, including himself.

His looks had altered dramatically. He was aware that he was going to find sustenance, but he couldn't will his mind or body to listen. One does not know insanity until they're placed in a body and completely unable to control themselves, knowing what's happening and having to watch the whole thing.

As he attacked his next victim, he screamed in his mind, cried out, anything to get his body to stop, but it wouldn't. He had to endue the entire thing, and it was excruciating. He had to watch as he killed this femme which he had no name for, violently rip her spark from her chest and suck out the essence. If vomiting as an option… He felt himself sit down further away and felt the numbness come to him as his body started to revert back to how he was supposed to be. He was sobbing by the time he got control of himself, looking at the body, he only sobbed. What a horrible creature…

This was the worst side effect he could have ended up with. He became aware of what he was doing while in that frenzied mode. So yeah, until now, he was sure he was much happier the other way.

After that very aware encounter, he did more tests on himself. After several attempts, he finally found a partial substitute that worked much, much longer. He learned a great deal from being aware of what he was doing because it never went away. He had to deal with himself all of the time and had to deal with killing until he found the right solution. Over time, he discovered that he could 'choose' to a point which other Cybertronian he went after based on spark scents… unless… there were no others around. It made life harder, but on the bright side, he wouldn't have to kill anymore so long as he kept the injectors around. He made some more potent than the others, now knowing how he hunted and realized he could sense live spark strengths and over time found if he concentrated while out of that state, he could still sense them in a way.

He purified the new concoction until he could go very long times without the urge to feed, and there was only pain or weakness – sometimes worse than others. The urges within him weren't as strong and it would disappear altogether if it was ignored. He survived the throes and now knew he had a stable solution to his problem when the pain was almost gone. Problem slightly solved.

Hope I got this the way I wanted it. I'm a frazzled mess... lol

Wonder how long till someone finds out... or have they already?