A/N:
Okay, wow, you guys! The response to this in just one day has been insane! Thank you so much. I have a feeling this might become my most popular story yet, and I just had to give you another chapter to show my gratitude :-P
Now, a few of you took notice of something, and that is that the plot is very close to a TV-show from the 70s called Three's Company. Did you know that the show was actually based on a British sitcom called A Man About the House which had its premiere in 1973? And that in 1996, a Swedish version of the same story and plot was born?
I, actually, had no idea all three shows were pretty much exactly the same, and I based this story on the Swedish version set in the 90s xP There will be a lot of similarities to the shows, but I will also deviate from the original plot to create my own scenes and story-lines :D
Now, a lot of you are worried that Edward and Rosalie will do the "nasty" but I assure you, that won't happen. This is BxE pairing, and I said so in the 1st chapter's AN as well. However, if you don't like to see the characters flirt and have fun with others than just each other, then I'm sorry, I'm not the writer for you.
Lastly, to the guest reviewer, the lovely Kathy, so Rosalie seems like a slut? And...? So what?
Title: Three's a Crowd
Author: MarieCarro
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Bella and Rosalie are roommates and best friends. When the third friend of their BFF trio moves out to live with her boyfriend and her newborn baby, the girls need to find someone new, and it appears that someone just happens to stumble into their laps.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
CHAPTER 2
"We'll help you with all your boxes, Edward," Rosalie said when Edward came through the front door with his first bag, but before she could pass him, he stopped her.
"Oh no, don't worry about that. It's not on you two," he insisted.
"It's not more than right," Rosalie said. "I mean, if it was one of us moving in, you'd help us, so let us help you." She gave him a smile and turned to Bella. "C' mon."
Bella wasn't in the most willing of moods to carry a bunch of heavy boxes, but she knew she hadn't made the best first impression on Edward, so she reluctantly followed Rosalie outside.
Luckily, since Edward had lived on campus previously, he didn't have a whole lot of stuff, and it only took a couple turns for the three of them to get it all into the apartment. They put it all in his new room, but when that was done, they shared a somewhat awkward moment which was always reserved for people who didn't really know each other that well yet.
"I guess I should start unpacking, then," he said, and crouched down, but Bella had made a decision. If the three of them were going to live together, they needed to get to know each other properly.
"Maybe you could do that later," she said somewhat self-consciously. "I was thinking the three of us could have a drink at Murrey's and, you know, talk." She saw how Edward hesitated. "I'll buy," she quickly offered, hoping to show him that she wasn't really the bitch he most likely thought she was.
It didn't appear to sway him, though.
"I have a test in nutrition first thing in the morning, and I need a good night's sleep, so not tonight." Of course, Edward saw the disappointment in Bella's eyes, and he didn't want her to think it was because of her he was saying no. "But definitely another time, okay?"
"Sure." She nodded, and another awkward pause ensued.
"It's nice to finally have you here," Rosalie said to break the silence, but it didn't have the desired effect because Edward's attention was drawn to her physical appeal once again. Not that it was really his fault. Rosalie had dressed in a very tight shirt that emphasized pretty much everything.
"Ahem." Bella cleared her throat, already fed up with pushing those two apart. "Don't you have something to do, Rose?" Rosalie looked at her innocently and Bella nodded pointedly toward the grocery bags they hadn't had the time to unpack yet. They had shopped on Edward's request as he'd said he wanted to make a nice dinner for them as thanks for letting him move in.
"Right!" Rosalie turned back to Edward with a wide and happy smile. "Come with me to the kitchen and show me what you can do?"
Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Right now?" he asked.
Bella bent down and grabbed a bag of groceries which she then handed roughly to Edward. "She's talking about the food. Nothing else."
Realizing he'd made a fool of himself, Edward shook his head and scratched the back of it to hide his embarrassment. "Right."
Just as the three of them were about to go into the kitchen, Rosalie's cell rang and she handed her bag to Bella to answer it. Bella and Edward proceeded to the kitchen and started to put the groceries away.
"Look, Bella..." Edward started. "I don't want you to think I'm some douche or anything."
"What do you mean?" she asked but didn't stop unpacking the food.
"Out there with Rosalie … I mean, I know what you said when I accepted your offer for me to move in. I'm just not used to living with girls and what she said—"
Bella laughed softly, and he gave her a questioning look. "Oh, don't worry about that. Rose has that effect on guys." Bella used the green end of a fresh leek to tap her chin. "She has this raw sexual magnetism which no one's immune to. I mean, you should have seen how I was when she and I first moved in together. Man, that woman knows how to kiss."
Edward stopped mid-action. "What?"
"Oh yeah!" Bella continued, pretending as if she hadn't noticed Edward's reaction. "She has the softest lips. I think it's because of all that chapstick she uses."
"Oh." Edward blinked slowly, not at all sure what to say. "So you're saying you're … uhm … a—"
"Edward."
"What?" He looked at her and finally saw her shit eating grin.
"I'm fucking with you." She hit him lightly on the arm. "Sorry. I thought it was best to introduce my weird humor right away." The groceries were all put away, so Bella jumped up on the counter next to Edward who was feeling as if he'd entered some strange parallel universe with these girls he now found himself living with. "You're gonna have to get used to it. I get a strange sense of satisfaction from making people feel uncomfortable."
Edward tried to laugh, but he was still feeling weird after Bella's joke. The sheer disappointment he'd felt when he for that short moment thought she was gay had been a bit staggering.
Rosalie came running into the kitchen with horrified, panicked eyes. "Oh my god, Bella, that was my mom on the phone! She said she'll be here any minute."
"Wow, really? What's she doing in town?" Bella asked.
"There was some conference with someone boring. I don't know." Rosalie waved it away. "It doesn't matter anyway. What matters is she'll freak out if she finds out we have a guy living here." She pointed at Edward with her thumb.
Edward immediately tried to calm her down. "Relax, Rosalie. It's 2019. Lots of guys and girls live together now."
"Yeah, but my mom thinks it's 1919," Rosalie replied with an unamused smile. "She's crazily conservative and very religious."
"So I'll talk to her and allow her to get to know me," Edward suggested as he still didn't see the problem, but Rosalie was already shaking her head.
"No, you absolutely can't talk to her!" She turned to Bella. "Please, please, take him with you to Murrey's. Now, please!" She started to push the two of them out of the kitchen toward the front door. "And keep him there!"
"But I have to study!" Edward protested, but Rosalie was already shutting the front door behind them. Edward looked sideways at Bella. "Seriously? I doubt her mom can be that bad."
"Ha! Be glad you won't have to meet her," Bella replied and then nodded with her head for the two of them to head to the cozy little Irish pub just down the street where she and Rosalie were regulars.
Edward hung back as they entered the pub, but Bella immediately went up to the bartender.
"What's up, Felix?"
"Hey, Bella," he said happily, yet somewhat confused. "A bit early, isn't it? I don't usually see you around here until nine."
Bella shrugged. "Yeah, well, apparently the Inquisition decided to drop by for an unannounced visit, so I was banished here until further notice." She turned to Edward who was standing awkwardly behind here. "Meet Edward. Our new roommate."
"Cool." Felix reached over the bar to offer his hand and Edward accepted it. "I'm Felix. I've been taking care of the girls' drinks for the last two years. Nice to see some testosterone in the mix."
Bella scoffed. "Oh no, Felix! Edward here has more estrogen than Rosalie and I put together." She mockingly held up her hand over her mouth as she stage-whispered to the bartender. "She just started on her hormones for her transition."
"What?" Edward exclaimed. "No, I'm not—" Before he could get a sentence out, Felix laughed loudly and held out a calming hand for him.
"Don't worry, man. She does that."
Bella winked before she took the beers Felix had poured them and chose a table. Edward shook his head because while he thought Bella was attractive, he didn't fully get her humor yet.
"Hey," Felix said, and Edward turned to him. "It will calm down, I promise. You're just in the hazing phase right now. It's her way of welcoming you. I know it's weird, but the faster you start teasing her back, the faster it'll all pass."
"Thanks for the advice," Edward said, but couldn't help make a face before he joined Bella by the table.
Back at the apartment, Rosalie opened the front door, and a woman who looked a lot like her came marching in.
"Hi—"
"I've never in my entire life experienced such traffic before," Mrs. Hale said instead of greeting her daughter. She was carrying a large suitcase which she dumped in the hall before continuing to the living room where she sat down in a chair with a sigh.
Rosalie walked tensely in after her. "Hi, mom."
"Hi, sweetie. Do you have something I can prop my feet up on? These shoes will be the death of me."
"Uh, maybe you want something to eat?" Rosalie asked while she pushed the leg rest closer to her mom. "I could—"
"Oh no, I don't have time for that," Mrs. Hale said. "No, I'm hasting off soon. I was given a seat back home on a bus a youth choir's using for their gospel tour. I just need to be by the cathedral when they leave."
"How wonderful!" Rosalie replied a little bit too enthusiastically, and Mrs. Hale gave her a speculative look.
"What do you mean?"
"Uh..." She scrambled through her brain for something to cover up her faux pas. "I mean, the choir! How wonderful to hear youths dedicate themselves to a gospel tour in the Lord's name." Mrs. Hale smiled, appeased by her daughter's words. "So, how's Dad?" Rosalie asked to change the subject.
"He's fine." Mrs. Hale fixed her daughter with a stern look. "But you should know he worries about you."
"But Mom, I—"
"We both do." She threw her arms out. "Why do you have to live in this horrible town?"
"Mom, I'm—"
"No, you don't have to tell me. I know San Francisco basically is Sodom and Gomorrah! Especially in the summer. I've heard such stories about university students who give into carnal temptations and start orgies in the middle of the street."
Rosalie let out a nervous laugh. "I can't say I've come across any orgies lately."
"Thank heavens for that!" Mrs. Hale stood up and placed both hands on Rosalie's cheeks. "Be thankful you have been spared from the chains of sin." She placed a kiss on her forehead and smiled sweetly. "Enough about that. How're your roommates? Alice and Bella, wasn't it?"
"Bella is great," Rosalie said and tried to hold on to her smile. "Alice is also great. She moved out, actually. She got married and has a baby now."
Mrs. Hale smiled excitedly toward that news. "Really? Well, that's nice to hear. But have you found another girl to rent her old room then?"
Rosalie tried to come up with anything to say, but her head was empty. "Uh, no, we haven't found a girl—"
Mrs. Hale enveloped Rosalie in her arms. "That's perfect. Then I don't have to take the bus tonight, thankfully! It would have taken all night, but now I can sleep here and go back home tomorrow instead." She left Rosalie in the living room to fetch her suitcase and headed for Edward's room.
Rosalie started to panic as she had no idea what the hell she was going to do now.
~~TAC~~
"Have another beer," Bella tried. She could see that Edward was in a bad mood now, and she could understand why. Few people liked to disrupt their own plans on someone else's behalf. Especially someone they didn't know very well.
"No, we've been here for hours. I want to go home," he said sourly. "I want to go back to my room, which I've almost paid for, and I want to sleep in my bed. No more beer!"
Bella sighed. "C' mon, I'm sure we won't have to stay here much long—" Her cell phone lit up and Rosalie's name was on the display. "See, I told you. She's calling now. Hello?"
"Bella, big problems! Mom decided to stay here for the night!"
"What? What do you mean she decided to stay?"
Edward's eyes widened worriedly since he only heard one end of the conversation.
"Well, I couldn't lie to her about Alice moving out, and since I couldn't tell her Edward's renting the room now, she thought it was available, so she's not leaving until tomorrow."
"Then what the hell is Edward supposed to do now?"
"I don't know, but Bella, please help me out here! He can't come back here! My mom will kill me, and—... I gotta go."
The phone clicked as Rosalie hung up, and Bella grimaced at it. "You've gotta be kidding me," she mumbled in annoyance.
"What?" Edward asked, seriously concerned now.
Bella groaned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "It appears Mrs. Hale has decided to sleep over tonight, and therefore, Rosalie says you can't go back home."
Edward gave her an incredulous look. "I have to get home," he said. "Remember I said I have a test tomorrow?"
"Yes, I do remember, Edward, but you don't know Mrs. Hale. I'm telling you, Rosalie wasn't exaggerating before. Last time I met that woman, she hounded me about how I should find a husband so that I could be a good role model to Rosalie."
"Fine." Edward threw his hands out helplessly. "I get that, and I would love to go on an impromptu vacation to Ibiza, but I haven't heard of any flights available for ten dollars!" A yawn escaped him, and he looked apologetically at Bella. "Look, I've already stayed out longer than what I was supposed to, and I really need to get some sleep before my test, so I'm sorry, but I'm going home now." He stood up from his seat and turned to the exit.
"But you can't," Bella insisted and hurried to place herself between him and the door. "Rosalie's mom sleeps in the extra bed now!"
"No, no!" Edward held up his hand in front of her and shook his head. "There is no extra bed. It's my bed, and now I'm going home to my room, and my bed, and taking off my clothes to sleep there and if someone's lying there already, then it's not my problem." He walked around her, but just as he exited the door, Rosalie entered and pushed him back inside.
"Sit down, please," she said and gestured for the both of them to go back to their table. "Look, I have an idea."
"I want my bed," Edward simply said, and it was clear that alcohol mixed with tiredness wasn't a good combination for Edward Cullen because he sounded quite whiny. Not that Bella blamed him.
"But you haven't heard my idea yet."
Edward turned to Rosalie and made sure to emphasize every word. "I. Want. My. Bed."
Bella placed her hand on his leg and he looked down at it as the touch had shocked him. "Please, just listen to her."
"He can sleep in my room," Rosalie said, but Edward didn't really listen because he was still looking at Bella.
"I want my be—" He stopped mid-sentence when he finally registered her words and turned to Rosalie. A ridiculous smile stretched over his face which caused Bella to roll her eyes. "You know, I'm not going to be difficult."
"Great," Rosalie said, but Bella was already shaking her head.
"Absolutely not. The ground rules are still in place, and I'm not trusting the two of you being alone the entire night." She crossed her arms and looked at them. "He can sleep in my room. At least then neither of us will have to explain to your mom tomorrow what those strange noises were coming from your room."
Rosalie giggled unabashedly while Edward looked somewhat disappointed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay then, we'll sneak him into your room, and Mom won't ever have to find out." She walked back out of the pub with lighter steps, but before Bella could follow, Edward stopped her with a teasing look in his eyes.
"You know, Bella, maybe your bed is big enough for all three of us." He was grinning at her, and she knew he was messing with her because Bella had a sixth sense when it came to things like that, and so she decided to encourage him.
"You're right! I'm sure it is," she agreed. "I didn't even think of that." She started to lean in as if she was going to kiss him. "We'd have so much fun together, wouldn't we?" she whispered against his lips, but as Edward was about to make the last move and actually kiss her, she pinched him on the arm.
He flinched hard. "Ouch," he complained and rubbed his arm.
Bella was still grinning. "Watch it, pretty boy, or I'll have Felix douse you with ice." She jumped down from the stool and exited the pub.
Still, sort of indignantly, rubbing the spot Bella had pinched, Edward followed her out.
It was dark in the apartment when the three of them returned, and they tried to be as quiet as possible in the hallway. Rosalie tip-toed up to the door of Edward's room and listened for sounds which indicated her mom was asleep. When she heard it, she gave the other two a thumbs up.
Unfortunately, Edward was starting to feel the effects of the six beers he'd had at the pub, and like every intoxicated person, he wasn't really good at determining the volume of his movements.
Rosalie hushed him when he accidentally shut the front door too hard, and for some reason, he started to hiccup.
"Sorry." He thought he mouthed the word, but when Bella hushed him again, he understood he'd most likely said it out loud.
"You're gonna wake the entire building if you keep doing that," Rosalie whispered harshly, indicating toward his continued hiccups.
The three of them reached Bella's room and shut the door.
"If you have a paper bag or something, I know how I can make it stop," Edward said and ended it with another hiccup.
"We have those in the kitchen. I'll get one for you," Bella said, but Edward stopped her.
"I can get a paper bag on my own."
She hesitated but then agreed. "Okay, fine, but don't tear down the building on your way there. You have to be quiet."
"Well, I'm going to bed. See you two tomorrow." Rosalie left Bella's room and headed inside her own while Edward went for the kitchen to get a paper bag.
As he rummaged through the cabins, he suddenly heard steps out in the hall.
"Rosalie? Is that you?"
The voice was unfamiliar to him, and he realized it was Mrs. Hale. Edward panicked and looked around for a place to hide, but the only place he could fit in was the closet where the girls kept their cleaning supplies.
He quickly jumped in there but wasn't able to close the door completely before Mrs. Hale entered the kitchen. She took a quick look around, noticed the ajar door and shrugged to herself before closing it completely.
Edward held his breath and suppressed the hiccups as much as he could until he heard Mrs. Hale leave the kitchen. Then he exhaled with relief and almost fell out of the closet. He quietly wrestled with the vacuum cleaner which refused to remain in the closet and then made a break for Bella's room.
Bella gasped in shock when he burst through her door. "Shit, you almost scared me to death."
"Sorry," he said, and then suddenly noticed his hiccups were gone. Apparently, he'd been so scared of Mrs. Hale finding him that he'd cured himself. "Hey, I'm cured."
"Great. Here." Bella threw a t-shirt at him. "It's the biggest one I have. You can borrow it to sleep in."
"Thanks." He started to undress, and Bella did her best to keep her face indifferent as he pulled off his pants. She was the one who set the ground rules, so she couldn't exactly break them, even though she really wanted to as she looked at Edward's toned torso.
"We're gonna have to share the bed, but keep your hands to yourself, okay?" she warned him.
"With the way I'm feeling right now, I think I should be the one worried about being taken advantage of," he replied with a smirk. Bella laughed quietly because even though the reason for Edward's lowered inhibitions was the alcohol he'd consumed, she enjoyed that teasing side of him. It was very entertaining.
"Don't worry," she reassured him. "If I lay so much as a finger on you tonight, I'll turn myself in. You're completely safe."
"Too bad," he murmured. "I might actually have liked it." Edward sort of stumbled toward the other side of the bed and crawled in under the covers while Bella did the same on her side. "Good night, Bella," he mumbled out through a yawn.
"Good night, Edward."
A/N:
If you're wondering, I am not making fun of religious people. Mrs. Hale is a parody, exaggeration, and caricature!
Some of you didn't feel Edward showed any interest at all in Bella in the previous chapter. How about now? xD