Ebony

by EbonyAnimalSpirit

It started with a single crimson feather. One single feather, fallen among a sea of black... Lost to the fluttering, ebony waves, cold and drowning... Alone. We should have guessed we were bad for one another... but we didn't... Idiot {My Hero Academia} {HawksXOC} {Spoilers for Anime/Manga}

23. Chapter 23- Tired

Chapter 23

Tired

.:+:.

... But really... There is no 'why'... I didn't let myself do anything...

... I didn't have a choice... You didn't give me a choice...

... And I... Didn't give you a choice either...

... We both... never had a choice...

.:+:.

She didn't sleep

Not really, anyway. Her mind and her emotions running on an endless loop made sleep impossible to obtain, and her body ached for it... Ached nearly as much as her soul did at Hawks' voice, and his words running on a repeat in her head after her quick retort and refusal to him offering to share his real name... At how hurt he sounded when she told him not to.

No, not told- she'd more or less snapped at him, and ordered him, and she grimaced.

She didn't intend to... To hurt him, or be harsh, or shatter what little attempt at trusting her he'd tried to show.

She didn't intend to be an ass, or be mean, but shit.

I can't... Stop myself... No matter what I do...

... I'm just... Like this...

... And oh how did she wish at that moment that she wasn't as she was- that life and circumstances hadn't forced her to be that way.

Distant and cold, and impossible to trust anyone, and very much unable to keep herself from lashing out and reacting blindly to things she really shouldn't react so harshly toward. Things normal people wouldn't snap at, or falter, or become so defensive with... But her life wasn't by any means normal, so it probably followed she wouldn't be normal either.

... It just... Sucks... It's awful...

... Sometimes I really do hate... all of it...

She really wanted to sleep, but she couldn't work herself around to it, not with how knotted she felt, and strung out, and just altogether not okay. She was all worked up and she couldn't settle, not her body, or her emotions, or her mind- and she really tried to. She laid in that bed for hours, constantly shutting her eyes and hoping it would usher her off to sleep, but it didn't. She rolled around, adjusted, stacked up the pillows and threw them on the floor, meddled with the blankets and sheets- a million different things she tried, and sleep just wasn't up for grabs.

She even started to pace back and forth across the threshold of the room in her Cat Form, all too aware her walking to and fro as a human would have been too loud in the silent apartment, but her feline paws were light enough her pacing was silent. Eventually she even moved to the balcony, pacing still across the railing and not at all bothered with the precarious drop off the building if she were to misstep even once.

That exhaustion that had had her yawning every five minutes when talking to Hawks, and barely able to keep her eyes open, wasn't gone. She felt it dragging at her, heavy and suffocating almost... But it wasn't able to force her into sleep now, not even when she really, really, really needed it to.

Her body hurt, every limb heavy, her back aching and ribs along with it from the events with falling into the roof and the Villain combined. Her head hurt too, with all the thinking and trying not to let herself fall into the darkest corners of her mind and her memory... And her soul hurt, for all the emotions now stirred up, old and new, and relentlessly pounding against her the whole night (morning?).

Once or twice maybe she did manage to doze off, but she was jerked back into wakefulness each time from a doze that was nothing but fretful, and filled with terrible fragments of nightmarish things. It was not the sleep she needed, and she really couldn't call it sleep at all, it was just... More and more awful.

She left the room twice during her non-stop struggle with sleeplessness, and both times she moved across the hallway and stuck her head in the crack of Hawks' slightly ajar door- you know, just to check in, because of the concussion stuff... And because she couldn't settle herself, she needed something to do.

Both times she looked in, she did so while still Shifted into a cat, so from her height she couldn't really see him in bed, just the lump of him under the stacks of pillows and blankets, and she did hear the steady tenor of his breathing. Both times he was still asleep and she ended up lingering a little longer than she wanted to, just listening and... Thinking.

Constant nagging thoughts damn it

She went back to pacing, and as the sun started to rise and dawn set in, her pacing had slowed drastically, her head hanging and her paws and tail dragging too... She was so goddamn tired she didn't even have the energy to Shift back into her Human Form, and she didn't even give it a single thought. Her mind was spent, stretched out in every direction, and just thinking was slow and much too hard to do. She felt dead on her feet (paws) and little more than a zombie... She wanted to go home, but she couldn't until Hawks was up and she was sure he seemed fine after all that had gone on... With the head wound and concussion, specifically.

The rest...? She just... Didn't know...

She moved back across the hallway for a third time, poking her head around the edge of the door. Her red eyes gleamed slightly in the dim of Hawks' room, provided by the curtains still being closed and blocking out the strengthening morning light out the windows.

"... Hmm? Good morning~"

Spirit stiffened, her heart skipping a beat and head tilting back as she blinked slowly in surprise. Her eyes matched with Hawks', the Winged Hero lying on his stomach and facing the door, wings spread out on either side of him and his arms crossed on top of a stack of pillows with a multitude of others (and blankets) surround him on all sides like... A nest sort of. She'd not even noticed he'd moved to lay that way, or been aware of him being awake- him with his hand held on to his phone, as if he'd previously been fiddling with it before she poked her head in.

"You're up early~! Did ya need something~?" Hawks hummed softly, his cheek falling into the palm of his hand and smiling faintly as he gave her a quick once-over, and the rather stunned response he earned, and the lack of an immediate answer. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue~? Hehe..." He quipped lightly and she blinked again, shaking herself out a bit, and cursing herself the sluggish reaction (whilst his little joke went completely over her head).

"... Ah, no... I was just... Checking on you..." Spirit mumbled, slowly moving a few paces into the room so she wasn't stuck in the door. "... Did you... Sleep okay...? You're up early too... Are you feeling alright...?" She asked, still quite slowly, and he nodded a bit.

"Yeah, I'm good~" he chirped quietly, "I slept pretty well, actually...! And now I feel about 95%, which is much better than last night, I guess I slept pretty much all of it off~! My headaches gone, and it's not so hard to think anymore... I am still sore generally, from getting hit, but that's nothing I'm not used to~" He told her and Spirit nodded slightly, her eyes flashing.

... He actually does sound... Genuine about it... Not like yesterday where he was... Trying too hard to be all bright and cheery...

... He must actually... Feel a lot better...

... But does that mean... He... Got over it...?

The thing about... Telling me his name...?

Could he have gotten over it that quickly? She didn't assume so, but he wasn't acting like he was still moping about it, or upset or anything... Though grant you, she probably wouldn't have been able to really tell all that well if he was faking it at the moment. Her mind just couldn't really process it, or any subtle clues that would indicate such a thing- it was actually sort of a miracle she felt she could even tell that he did feel better today, than the day before.

But even just the simple question had her stomach churning- could he have gotten over it that fast? It would be nice to think maybe he wasn't as hurt about her refusal as she feared he was, and maybe that would help her settle... But at the same time, if he really had gotten over it so easily, that meant she just spent the whole night like a wound up bundle of nerves, stress and anxiety for literally almost no reason. She felt herself wilt a little for it, her ears falling slightly and what little lift her tail had got destroyed too.

... Fucking... Hell...

"... Spirit? You okay?" Hawks' voice interrupted her sudden exasperation, and she blinked at him, her head tilting.

"... What...?" She mumbled uncertainly and he paused, his own head tilting at her and eyes narrowing a tad.

"... I asked you if you slept okay?" He reiterated slowly the question she clearly hadn't heard at all, "And I'm wondering why you're in your Cat Form...?"

"Oh... I was trying to be... Quiet... And not wake you..." She mumbled, skipping straight passed the first question to answer the second, to which he noticed instantly, and the... Oddly subdued behavior.

She'd been much more mellow yesterday, but this was bordering on being something wrong. She was talking too slow, she was clearly not hearing him all the way or focused enough to, her posture was off, and even her eyes seemed glassy- and Hawks bit the inside of his cheek at it. This time- unlike what he'd said yesterday- he did see it, he could tell. He could tell something wasn't right, and right away, and he could even tell why (at least partway).

"... Spirit... Did you not get any sleep at all...?" Hawks asked slowly, "... You're acting really off... And you seem... Like super exhausted..." He pointed out quietly, and she paused at it, her eyes dropping closed and her ears with it, her head hanging a bit.

Damn it, she hated it was that noticeable... And she hated it a bit more that she hadn't any energy at all to be snippy, or stubborn about it either.

"... I tried to..." She mumbled at length, the answer causing the Winged Hero to stiffen and his eyes to go wide. "... I did try... I just... Couldn't get there..." She sighed, and he grimaced slightly.

"... Was it the bed, or something wrong with the room...?" He asked quickly, but Spirit shook her head once, her eyes still closed.

"... No it wasn't anything like that..." Spirit mumbled quietly, her posture stiffening slightly as her ears pressed against her head harder, and her stomach knotted despite herself.

"... I was just... Thinking... a lot..."

There was a bit of silence after that, with Spirit seemingly fading off into her own head while Hawks stayed where he was, chewing on the insides of his cheeks as he watched her. He wanted to prod her further on what she meant by 'thinking a lot', and what it was she had been thinking about- because what could it have been time have kept her awake? Even after having already been awake for over 24 hours before he'd suggested she take the room and go to bed? It must have been something weighty, whatever it was, and maybe something unpleasant too... But would she like him pressing her about it?

Probably not, given her general reaction to questioning of any kind... But at the same time, she was acting really off, so maybe...?

Maybe I'll... Tread lightly, to start...

"... Ah, you told me before you don't have insomnia, but are you sure...?" He murmured, "... Cause overthinking making you not be able to go to sleep is an insomnia thing, ya know..." He pointed out quietly, and Spirit let out an audible sigh.

"... I don't have insomnia." She mumbled, and Hawks paused a moment.

"... Then... Is something... Bothering you...?" He asked slowly and at length. Spirit seemed to pause again, her eyes still closed and silent, almost like she was mulling over what she wanted to reply with.

And she was, immediately at the question her mind looped back around to the hours on end of thoughts, and feelings, and wondering what to do, that had kept her up... Pestering, prodding, almost painful things, and all that wound her up more and more with every second revisiting them. It was getting to the point where she wasn't just feeling knotted up and exhausted, she was starting to feel almost queasy, and it was not a sensation she welcomed, nor wanted.

She wished... She wished so badly it wasn't like this. That her life wasn't like this, where all these doubts and suspicions and fears weren't forever lurking over her head. She wished it wasn't so complicated, and that she didn't have to be guarded and careful in everything she said or did... If her life wasn't like it was, then she wouldn't have been so wound up about such a stupid thing.

She shouldn't have to watch everything she said or did, for fear she might give something away she couldn't afford to. She shouldn't have to always be on guard, and always assume the worst before even considering anything else. She shouldn't have to keep everything at arms-length and never give an inch.

She should never have had to learn to be so defensive, and quick to react, or judge... She shouldn't immediately grow uneasy at the idea of being 'friends'.

She shouldn't have had to worry about him trying to share his name with her. She shouldn't have felt guilty about not being able to give him the same thing back, she shouldn't have been forced into a situation where she never could- not even if she wanted to.

For the first time in a very, very long time, she was really starting to feel it- and understand just how screwed up it all was... She had never given it any thought, not all these years. The first and only time she had ever even considered it, was so long ago- and so soon after she never batted an eye at it at all. It had always been like this, as long as she could really, clearly, remember. This was life for her, this was reality, there had never been any alternative. This was what she had to be, this was what she was taught to be- this was the right way, the safe way, the only way.

... But was it?

Now she was right back to the beginning, to that earliest thought, that earliest question; was this what life was supposed to be for her? Was this what she was supposed to do, to learn, to live like? This way that she had had hammered in for years upon years now?

She wavered now where she hadn't in nearly 15 years, and the hesitation hit hard. And what small thought came with it, would not fade... That maybe, after so long, and even after being taught this over and over, and believing it... That this was not right.

Her life shouldn't be like this

She should not be living a life where she might have been lonely the whole time, and yet could not see it. Where she didn't see it, because any thoughts, or wants, or needs for anything outside of making sure she was always careful, and always at a safe distance from everyone and everything- nothing outside of that ever meant anything. Ideas and actions that didn't include making sure she wasn't being watched, followed, spied on, or betrayed, and that she wasn't letting herself be too open and too vulnerable- anything not geared toward that way of living, did not have any value or meaning. She did not put stock in anything else, she did not socialize or have a need to, she did not make friends or have a want to- she'd been taught not to care, want, or feel anything about them, or a lack thereof.

But shouldn't she care? Shouldn't she feel something? Shouldn't there be something else...?

There had never been anything else- just keep yourself guarded, keep yourself safe, do not slip up, do not give anything away, do not trust anyone- stay focused on doing nothing but keeping it all locked away, and doing your job right. She put all her time, energy and focus into those two things and she never thought anything of it at all... Not until recently, and more and more quickly she couldn't stop thinking about it.

Shouldn't there be more...? More than constantly hiding, and checking herself...? And just doing nothing else but work, and more work...?

Shouldn't there be more... Than constantly being on edge, and worrying about... What I say, and when I... Do something that... I could avoid, if I just... Stopped?

Stopped being so... Distant, and hiding things, and always being suspicious... And never trusting anyone...?

Shouldn't there be... Some version of all of this... Where it isn't so... Complicated...?

... Shouldn't life not be this... Hard...?

She swallowed against the lump that had found it's way into her throat while lost in the thoughts, her eyes opening halfway to stare at the floor beneath her.

She was starting to think that no, life shouldn't be this way... But trying to change it was not something she could see herself doing so easily. Nor was she really able to see herself managing to come up with a way to alter it, even a little.

It's always been this way, for as long as I can remember... How to do I change something that's been like this, my entire life...?

She didn't know, and even thinking about trying made her feel all the more nauseous, and she had to swallow hard against it again... Because she did think she wanted to at least try.

... I just... Don't really know how to start...

... I'm... Afraid to... Of... Slipping up... And what... Might happen if...

... I let someone... See any of that... About me... Know about it...

... I never... Thought I might... Want to... With anyone...

... Least of all, maybe with... This idiot...

...I don't even know why... I'm considering him... It... Is it because... I've been treating him so harshly...? I don't usually... Treat people like that... But with him...

... Something is different... It's been different... Even since that first night I met him...

... I was tired... That day... Like I am now...

... Is that why...? I'm tired to the point where... I'm not... So rigid about everything... I know...? And I've been taught that... I shouldn't do...?

Is all of this, feeling all of it, wondering, thinking that it shouldn't be like this... Has all of it... Simply been prompted by... A lack of sleep...? Is it just... That simple...?

Maybe... I don't really want to... My head's just... Too fuzzy right now...?

... Or maybe... I'm not just tired physically... I'm actually really tired... Of all of it...

... So tired... I need... Something to change...?

Her stomach knotted further and her head bowed a bit, her shoulders hunching and her eyes closing too.

... Am I tired...?

... Of all... The lying... The hiding... The secrets...?

... Of forever being... So alone... And not realizing it... For so long...?

... Am I tired... Of being like I am...?

... Of being... So harsh... So defensive... Lashing out for things... Nobody else knows...?

... Treating all of them... Unfairly... For things that... Hurt... And they... Don't know it does...?

She swallowed again, a shiver running through her pelt and all the way to her tail tip. Her stomach flipped so much she wanted to retch, but stopped herself from showing it outwardly.

... Am I...?

She glanced up slowly, her red eyes flashing in the dim and meeting Hawks' golden gaze in sheer silence.

Am I... tired... Of living this way...?

She shook herself out slightly, stepping forward toward the bed, slow in her walking and eyes trained to the floor again.

"... Do you mind... If I sit with you, for a minute...?" She asked quietly, pausing just as the edge of the bed and Hawks' eyes widened at the request. "... I just... I wanna say something, Feathers..." Spirit mumbled, and he hesitated for half a second, before quickly nodding his head and pushing himself up from laying on his stomach.

"Y-yeah, of course, go ahead...!" Hawks mumbled, his hands quickly moving to pull the nest-like wall of pillows in front of him apart and give her space to sit on the bed. He himself straightened up, pulling his feet in and sitting cross legged, wings folded at his back and at full attention. Spirit hopped up onto the bed, slowly so and with not as much grace as he would have anticipated. In fact she seemed to cringe halfway through the movement, like it hurt, and Hawks stiffened for it, his eyes glittering and watching intently, but in silence as she took a seat in front of him, her tail wrapping over her paws, neither of them saying a thing. She didn't look up at him as she got on the bed, and even as she sat down her eyes stayed trained to the surface of the bed between them for a number of tense moments, quiet and seemingly mulling over things in her mind still, and so intensely too. Hawks just waited, patient and his focus never wavering- and of course not.

This was super out of character for her, and he could not shake the sense that was something was really wrong, and that now had a heavy weight in his core. There was definitely something bothering her, and quite a bit- he could see it for once, where usually he was quite helpless in picking up on how she was really feeling. And her saying that she wanted to tell him something?

She sounded so somber just then, her voice was almost so low it bordered a whisper. Was it something serious? Something bad? Something like... All that dark and twisty he'd seen in her, so few times, but so very there...? Things he felt... Were probably really awful...?

Was that what all this was? The weird behavior, the not being able to sleep...?

"... I'm sorry, about what I said... When you were... Talking about telling me your... Real name..." Spirit started slowly, her voice hushed and immediately Hawks stiffened for the subject, his heart skipping a beat and twisting all at once.

W-wait... Was... That what she was so... Worked up about...?

He... Well, even he had been kept up for an hour or two about it, but he'd been doing his best not to think about it at all. He'd misstepped, she'd reacted badly and that was on him for pushing her so fast... But her being so cold about not wanting to know had hit a sore spot he hadn't known was there beforehand, for sure. And it hit again when she brought it up, making him bite the inside of his cheek for it, his eyes flashing.

"... I shouldn't have... Snapped at you, like that... You were just... Being sincere... I'm sorry I was so harsh about it... I just..." Spirit went on, oblivious to the shocked and almost pained look that had crossed his face just then, as her eyes never lifted to him. She trailed off and he blinked, his eyes glittering at the way her voice and her entire form... She's...?

His eyes widened, his face falling slack in shock and his heart skipped another beat.

...S...She's... Trembling...

"... When you said it... When you started... I just reacted, and in a way I... I Shouldn't have... I knew I shouldn't have done it the instant I did... But..." She mumbled, her voice breaking off in a hiss for a moment, her ears falling back against her head once more. "... I can't... Stop myself... I react sometimes... Without thinking... Without meaning to... And I don't realize until after the fact if it... Wasn't right or fair... It's just... Blind reaction... And sometimes... It... I'm not meaning to be hurtful... But this... Is just...h...how I am... And... I... I can't..." She swallowed hard, her claws digging into the sheets now and head bowing as she shut her eyes tight.

"... I can't... Explain to you... O..or anybody... Why I'm like this... I... I can't... I can't explain why... Why I don't want you to tell me your name... I can't make you understand it without... Without saying things that... That I just can't say..." Spirit hissed through gritted teeth, "... I can't tell you why... You can't ask me, or prod me, please... Even if... That's not fair... But Hawks I can't... I... I'm not..."

... I'm not able to...

... I'm... Not...

... There... Yet... Or maybe... Ever...

"... I... I'm not... I'm not someone who can just... Let other people in like that... I'm not someone who... Who could share my name... Or personal things... And... I'm not someone that can... O... Or even knows how to handle... Somebody else... Trying to share things like that... Be open... Like that... I... Don't know how... To... Be that... To be... Something even really... Like a 'friend' either... N... Not a 'friend' like in the way... You wanna be..." She hissed, her voice dropping lower along with her head.

Damn it... Why was this... So hard...?

Why is trying to talk... Or... Or even explain anything... so fucking hard...?

Damn it... Damn me...tch... You know why this is hard.

You don't do this.

You don't talk to people, you don't say these things... You don't admit not being able to talk about it... You don't ever admit any of this... It's... Too dangerous... It...

... It's weakness... Shit...

... You should... Stop yourself...

... But I...

"... I don't know if... I can be... That kind of person...ever... I just don't know... But... I am sorry... For what I said... And... For not being able... To explain anything..." Spirit muttered lowly, shaking her head a little roughly. "...But... I feel like... Even if I can't explain to you why... I should... Say this, at least... It... It won't be what you want... I can't give you that... But... Maybe... Maybe it will make it easier... Make it sting less... What I said... When I said I didn't want to know..."

Hawks swallowed hard, his eyes flashing and absolutely rigid, fixed.

"... For me... Your Hero Name is enough." Spirit mumbled quietly, "... I know you as Hawks... I've come to know you better as Hawks... I don't need your name in order to learn more about you, or get to know you further... You are Hawks all the way around... Hawks is who you are to me... That is all I need." Spirit murmured, "... And... It's... It's the same way, with my name... You shouldn't need any other name than Spirit... Animal Spirit is who I am... It is all I am, the entirety of me... Knowing me by some other name shouldn't matter... Because I am Spirit, through and through... This..."

She cut herself off there, she meant to say the last bit, but they refused to leave her head and enter the air.

... This is... Who I chose to be... Animal Spirit is me, and nothing else...

"... I... I don't know if that makes any sense to you, Feathers... But... It's... The best I can manage... At... At least... Right now..." Spirit finished tensely, her voice breaking off into nothing for a few heartbeats, and her head lowering a tad more. "... Anyway... That's all... I... wanted to say..." Spirit mumbled, hushed and tense still, her claws slowly retracting back out of sinking into the comforter- but only because she realized she shouldn't have let her claws come out at all, and she actively forced herself to sheathe them again. She didn't look up though, she couldn't bring herself to, she was too busy trying to unwind what a terrible knot she felt she'd wound herself into with simply speaking... Speaking that was much too difficult, and shouldn't have been that hard at all, and worse still- she didn't feel she even voiced anything well enough... Damn it.

... I don't know how... To do this... Just... Speaking... About things like this... Shit...

And it felt a million times more like not well enough when things went deadly quiet. Hawks did not move, he did not budge even an inch, and he certainly didn't say anything. It made her posture wilt further, the knot in her core wrenching tight again.

"... You... Ah..." Hawks started, jarringly so and his voice hardly above a whisper- it died off before he ever got more than the one word out... And why not?

He was... Kinda reeling, honestly.

Hell, how could she always find some new way to do this to him? To confuse him so much, surprise and shock him, leave him so lost, and always, always hooking her claws into him all the more?

She was always making it so impossible to curb his interest, and his need to know her more, better... And this?

This was maybe some of the most sincere things he had ever heard from her... Ever.

And let's be clear- Spirit was an overall genuine and sincere person just naturally. There were few things he had ever heard her say, or seen her do that she didn't wholeheartedly mean. She was steadfast in her convictions and her beliefs, and she was usually quite fiery when relaying them in the moment- like she had been about the Stain thing, and her Capture Record, or him and his trying to play down liking Endeavor, and her snapping at him for his teaching habits and trying to teach Tsukuyomi the 'hard way'. Despite all her gruffness and stubbornness, and seemingly unshakable need to remain closed off and reserved, she wasn't secretive in the way she hid her true feelings on things. She kept secrets yes, that was clear, and she liked her privacy... But she wasn't the sort of person to hide her true thoughts and emotions to things, or put up a face or an act.

But even despite knowing and understanding that, the point still stood- this was the most sincere he had ever seen her... And with that sincerity came the thing he had only ever guessed at in her, but never actually seen so clearly for himself.

Insecurity

There was real insecurity in her just then, he could see it clear as day, she didn't keep it hidden right then like he felt for certain she always did. She was nervous, and unsure, and altogether just so, so uneasy- so much so little bits of some scared and troubled person were showing through, and he had never seen her like that... Well, maybe he had seen her scared, back with the Villain that Dark Shadow had taken down, but this was a different kind of scared.

For a brief, fleeting little moment there was a glimpse of someone very much unlike the stubborn, fiery, and enigmatic Animal Spirit he had come to know. Just right then, she was small, and frightened, and afraid, and she couldn't even look at him... She was scared, and she was genuinely guilty about what she'd said, and worried that she had done something wrong... That she'd done something to hurt or distress him.

And she'd been so wound up, and worried about it, she'd not been able to sleep over it...?

He stared a few moments longer, his expression going quickly between several different things, shock and awe and wonder, uncertainty, ache and even breathless smiles so fleeting they didn't seem to be there at all. He couldn't believe any of it, or wrap his head around it, it was just too out of nowhere... How could she be so worked up, about that...?

Why would she be so guilty about it...? And want to explain it, even when it was clearly hard for her to talk about it at all...?

... Could it... Really be that bad...?

Hawks let out a small breath, his expression softening as he shook his head a little, and biting back at the way his entire core ached and warmed all at once.

"... If 'Hawks' is enough for you, then it's enough for me too. It'll be enough, for as long as you like... And until you say otherwise, if you ever do change your mind." He murmured softly, his voice breaking the silence after what felt like years, and Spirit's ears pricked instantly at it, though she didn't lift her head nor her eyes right off. "And if me calling you Animal Spirit is what you want too, then I'm totally cool with it... I won't say I understand all of it completely, but I do think I get it at least a little... If this is what you'd prefer, and if this is enough for you- it's enough for me too, Spirit." He murmured coolly and Spirit blinked, her eyes settled straight ahead on the bed.

... Does he...?

... Maybe does he sound... Actually honest... About that...?

... Like... He's totally... Accepting it...?

... Or is my head... Too fuzzy to be sure...?

"... Though, you really didn't need to be so wound up about it ya know... I got over it pretty quickly." He added next, a touch wearily this time, and she stiffened at it. Hawks smiled sympathetically for a moment. "... I mean it stung in the moment, sure, but I did kinda jump the gun a bit- especially after you'd just told me not to rush with the whole 'friends' thing, so it was totally my bad... Sorry about that, Spirit." He sighed and her claws flexed again, her shoulders hunching ever so slightly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with the whole thing, I shouldn't have pushed it so soon, so I kinda got what I deserved... You don't need to feel so bad about it, really."

... But... It... It wasn't... It's not just on him...

... I shouldn't react like that at all, regardless of what... Prompted it...

... Tch... Why the hell does he have... To say that...?

... 'Deserved it'... Stupid...

... Tch... Did he... Even hear anything I said...?

... I was the one being... Unfair... He... He didn't... Shit...

... Stupid, stupid... Bird-Brain...

... Why does he always just... Take it...? And say it's fine, or write it off...?

... Even when I'm actually...

"... Why do you always do that...?" Spirit mumbled lowly and he paused, his head tilting.

"... Hmm?"

"... Why do you always just say it's fine, and deflect me being awful to you...?" Spirit mumbled, "... It was unfair of me, whatever you say about 'pushing it'... I shouldn't have reacted like that... Why do you just... Let everything slide...? And say it's fine or not a big deal, or whatever else...? Why don't you ever just... Just tell me outright I'm being an ass, especially when I am...?" She hissed and his smile faded a tad, his golden eyes glittering as she dug her claws into the bed again. "... Damn it... Why don't you ever just get mad at me, or scold me, or say something when I'm a bitch to you...? None of this is 'fine', a lot of the shit I say and treat you like isn't fine... You can't just act like it is all the time..." She muttered and he let out a small sigh.

"Well, I know you don't ever try to be mean. You're never hurtful on purpose, you're not that kind of person, and I know that- so of course I'm not gonna get mad at you, or scold you, or anything like that." He replied all too easily, "And I really don't mind because I do know that. You're not a malicious person, you're actually really nice- if a bit grumpy and stubborn some of the time, hehe~" he added with a light little chuckle, and she stiffened further at it.

... Tch... He's still just waving it off...

Hawks paused, seemingly able to sense her rising agitation with his answer and he let out a small breath for it.

"... Besides, there's no need for me to get mad at you anyway. You clearly feel bad about it enough on your own, there's no use in me adding on more for you to get so worked up about." He pointed out lightly and her ears swiveled back again, "You're kinda doing all the scolding and punishing yourself, ya know. No need for me to jump in too." He hummed and she huffed slightly.

She hated how calm he sounded, and how non-bothered and nonchalant and so... So matter of fact and so 'its fine' about it, damn it.

It wasn't just fine- he shouldn't be so calm about this, or so rational- just no!

She was trying to... Shit-!

Hawks frowned slightly, his little bit of cool fading quickly as he saw her hunch in on herself, her claws digging into the bed and trembling still, and quickly a little harder too. He bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes flashing as his fingers twitched, his hands coming off his knees slightly and stalling for a few seconds, unsure of himself... Because he clearly hadn't said anything that had made her feel any better. And he'd been trying to at least reassure her a little, and ease what turmoil and twisty things had had her awake all night, even while being already exhausted. But his assurance that it was fine, and that he didn't take her acting that way too hard just weren't hitting the mark... And for a moment or two he wasn't sure what else he could say that would even make a difference...? Or would it just agitate her further...?

... Ah, back to not being able to tell with her, huh...? Man...

He took in a long, quiet breath, his hands moving again, slowly so as he reached out toward her, quickly and deftly picking her small form up with complete ease (while being as gentle as he could manage). He picked her up and set her in his lap, his hands staying in a spot under her front legs (arms?) so she was left sitting on her haunches instead of all four paws... And so she couldn't pull away from him right off, which she definitely tried to, immediately.

Who the fuck does he think he's picking up like that?!

I ain't a DAMN PET!

"W-What the fuck do you think you're doing...?!" She hissed, her eyes snapping up to meet his for the first time. Her skin under her fur heated up uncontrollably with the sudden cutting in distance and being set in his lap like that, and she hated it.

She lift her front paws, intent on swiping out at his suddenly very close face in blind reaction, but she stopped dead, her eyes wide.

He wasn't smiling at her, not even faintly so, his face had fallen into something suddenly intense and yet not so... He... He looked somber so suddenly, and maybe even a touched pained, and she froze without meaning to.

Is... Why does he look so somber all of a sudden...?! W-what...?!

He seemed to let out a small breath, shaking his head slightly at himself and looking her dead in the eyes, steady, unwavering... E..eh...?

"... Spirit, I'm sorry." He murmured quietly and she blinked, her mind derailing even further at the apology.

"... I understand that you're being sincere in saying all of this, and I don't mean to make you feel like I'm just waving it off, or just saying it's okay without actually meaning it... I can tell that this is hard for you to try and explain, and even tell me." He murmured softly, his eyes flashing. "I'm not trying to make light of it, I know this isn't something you do, or say easily... I am sorry if I come off as trying to make light of it at all, I don't mean to... It's kinda just how I am." He mumbled, his eyes falling from her for half a second as he seemed think on his next words carefully for a few moments... And then his eyes found hers again, unwavering, and she just stared. "... But please do trust me when I say I mean it... and that I really, really do appreciate you telling me all of this, and trying to be so sincere. It means a lot to me, and I know this means a lot to you- I am hearing you, I am taking you seriously, I promise." He murmured steadily and her heart skipped a beat at it, her red eyes flashing. "I understand that you feel you're being unfair, and I respect it, so I'm not writing you off, alright...? But I do mean it when I say it's fine, even if you don't feel that way- you've not done anything that's really done me any harm. I don't take any offense, or think you're trying to be hurtful on purpose- and because I know that, and that you do feel genuinely bad about all of it... It's all okay in my book." He hummed softly,

"And... I know it probably just sounds like I'm saying all of that to be nice, or just ignore the whole thing, but... I will never scold you, or get mad at you, or yell, or anything at all- not when I know you aren't trying to be mean. And especially not when you are already aware of what you're doing, and are already punishing yourself when you think you have to." He told her, his head tilting slightly as he let out a small sigh. "... It'd be a different story if I actually thought you were just being malicious on purpose, and only for the sake of being hurtful- I'd say something if that was the case, but it's not. And you're not even oblivious to your behavior either, so I don't need to comment on it, or point it out... You already know... And I know you're trying to work on it, so I'm not gonna berate you for trying." He hummed, "And I will do better about not pressing you, like you said. My lifestyle is pretty fast-paced so I'm sometimes a little too quick for my own good- but I am pretty patient person when I set my mind to it. I promise I will be as patient as you need me to be, okay? However long it takes you to do whatever you want, or need, or wanna try- I will be patient, I swear." He told her steadily, a small, slightly nervous smile making a reappearance on his face. "... I will say sorry in advance though, and probably a hundred times after this, all that being said. I will be patient, and wait as long as you need- I will do my utmost to try and be that for you... Just forgive me my slipping up every once in awhile, like last night, yeah...?"

Spirit stared, swallowing hard and her red eyes gleaming.

This steadiness in him, this seriousness... It was genuine, and honest. She knew that immediately, though her mind could still scarcely fathom it... Least so when she realized that this- this was the same, like after she'd snapped at him about his teaching habits... And when he promised to be there for her, if she was ever in trouble.

.:+:.

"I won't say I'll be very good at it, though, hehe~! I'm kinda like an old dog- it's hard to teach me new tricks~! But for you, I will do my best to change a little, okay~?" He chuckled, and she blinked. "And it's pretty impressive for me to say that, ya know~! I'm not so good at listening to what other people want me to do~! But for you Sunshine, I'll totally try~! And I even think following your lead might do me some good~!"

.:+:.

"Well I can't say for sure nothing will happen- but if it does, don't you sweat it Spirit!" Hawks hummed, his usual bright and cheerful demeanor still there- but it wasn't as carefree this time around. Instead his tone seemed a touch more serious all of a sudden, and Spirit glanced right toward him quickly in surprise. He held her red eyes steadily, smiling slightly and completely more cool now- resolute even- as he gave her a firm nod.

"If anything serious comes up, I'll protect all of you with everything I have." Hawks told her, and she blinked, her eyes widening. "Nothing will hurt you or the Interns on my watch, I promise you." He murmured, and Spirit felt herself stiffen. She slowed up in her walking without meaning to, her eyes fixed on him and quiet, and suddenly unable to break her eyes away from him... and... and how completely earnest he was being.

... where did... this come from...?

... he's never so... not cheery, and all smiles and things... he's being genuinely serious right now... about promising...?

"If you're in trouble, I'll be there- no matter what comes." He promised steadily, she blinked. H nodded at her, smiling coolly and golden eyes shinning.

"I promise, no matter what, I will be there for you whenever you need me, Spirit."

Spirit's eyes flashed, a shiver running up her spine out of nowhere as her heart skipped a beat, his voice almost managing a way to reach her very core, it felt like.

.:+:.

... And both of them two of the reasons she'd even started to consider he might not have some ulterior motive. That maybe he was just being nice... And even eventually two reasons why she'd hesitated, and even done what she'd been taught not to do- to let them be friends.

She still didn't get it, she couldn't wrap her head around it all, or even really put full faith in what she was thinking- that he was actually being that honest and sincere, and that he really meant it all... She thought in the moment he was being honest, but she was so tired, and knowing that (and all the other terribly suspicious and wary habits ingrained into her) she was wasn't able to really put stock in what she felt at that moment... Not even when some part of her... Really wanted to... To believe him..... And more jarring still than all of what he said, and how much it made her head spin, or her own tumultuous thoughts and emotions that had spent all night hounding her- just right then, for a few split seconds?

The only thing about him she really noticed in those few seconds was the warmth he gave off with his body heat, his hands, his lap, all of it- and something in her, somewhere deep and buried and long neglected, she wanted that warmth.

For a split few seconds she wanted to just forget about all of it, the words and the turmoil, the worry and the ache and the confusion- and even the unwanted way in which he'd grabbed her. She didn't care how wary she was of him, or how much she never liked her personal space being invaded, or even that it was him- Hawks. Hawks who in a million years she would never have seen herself even grudgingly accepting any sort of gesture from, or giving it.

But just then... Just then she didn't care about all the rest of it, she just wanted it. Human contact, some sort of contact- something that was gentle and soft and warm. Something that every living thing craved, willingly or not, it was just instinct. She wanted it, regardless of all the thoughts and feelings and reservations- and she almost just gave in too... But only almost.

Her eyes dropped, her ears doing the same as she ended up only leaning into his hands a bit more in defeat. She didn't want to think about any of it anymore, her head was starting to hurt, and feel all stuffy and heavy from all the nagging things. And her stomach churning was not fun, she wanted to throw up the more she let herself wallow in it all, so she had to just... Quit.

I can't brood over all of this... Not anymore... Not right now...

... Damn it... I don't have the mental energy to even process all he said... Or figure out if...

... If... I believe him... Either...

"... Spirit...?" Hawks hummed after she failed to garner any sort of response, and he was all too aware of how much she was letting her body lean further into his hands too. Her eyes had dropped as she seemed to let out a long, weary sigh, and then nothing... She did not move, or say anything at all, and he tilted his head. Even him saying her name did not earn a reaction right off, and he grimaced. "... Spirit?" He tried again, and she blinked one eye open ever so slowly, her ears perking just a tad. "... You okay...?" He asked softly and she let out a small grumble that sounded more like a mrrow, that one open eye falling closed again.

"... Sorry... I just... Don't have the energy to try and... Process all of that... Feathers... Just... Not right now..." She mumbled slowly, and he bit the inside of his cheek at it. "... Sorry... I just... My head... Is not working... Enough right... Now..."

"... That's okay, I get it." Hawks murmured softly, "... You are super tired, huh...?" He hummed and she let out another quiet sort of hum, sort of mrrow without opening her eyes again.

"...mmm..."

"... Are you feeling okay... Outside of that..?" He asked slowly, "... You got pretty bruised yesterday, yeah...? I can't imagine you're feeling great, if you haven't slept..." He pointed out, and she cracked her eyes open slightly, her ears falling against her head and letting out a heavy sigh.

"... My head hurts..." She mumbled, her eyes trailing from him and to the side. "... I'm sore too, but... It's not something to worry over, Feathers..." She told him softly and he paused, his eyes flashing at the answer. He was quite sure she was feeling a lot worse then just being sore and having a headache, she was acting too off, she'd gotten too worked up, she wasn't really fine and he could tell (for once).

Even her lack of a stubbornness was a clear indicator- there was a little flare of it when she downplayed it, saying she was just sore like that- but it was nothing compared to all the stubborn things she had said and done before now (especially as she had been back after Dark Shadow and letting him help her). This was just her being incredibly subdued, and it was weird, and made him a little uneasy... Especially so since it was the idea she'd inadvertently hurt him that had made her so wound up, and had her feeling awful now. If she didn't get sleep she'd be likely end up making herself sick, and he really didn't want that. Not after all she'd been doing to help him and keep an eye on him, and even now with how much concern she showed for his feelings and well being. It was so kind of her, she cared so deeply and nobody would ever know... Ah man.

He let out a small breath and picked her up with ease, his hands having never left from holding under her front legs making it all too easy to sweep her up and hug her into him. He held her so he was basically cradling her in his arms, her paws up in air and on her back, unable to move out of the hold and honestly much too dazed and confused to really even do anything about it. He kept holding her like that, bringing her with him as he let himself fall back onto the bed in a mess of pillow, blankets, and vermilion wings. He rolled over slightly, their faces only an inch or so apart as she blinked at him, her body curled up in his arms and staring. Red feathers poked up underneath her, one wing curled under his body and hers, along with some pillows that toppled around them with the movement- and she just stayed there, completely at the mercy of his hold and utterly stunned with... With the manhandling.

He... He picked me up... Like a fucking cat...

... I mean I'm in Cat Form, but... I'm not a cat... Who the hell does...?

"... W...what are you...?" She stammered and he smiled, his golden eyes gleaming as he let out a soft chuckle, his warm breath washing over her face, the small disturbance of the current tickling her whiskers.

"You don't have anywhere to be for awhile, do you?" He asked lightly, ignoring her question for the moment and she narrowed her eyes at it.

"... Uhm... No...?" She mumbled uncertainly, what did that have to do with...?

"Well in that case, why not catch a few Z's with me?" He asked next and she faltered, her ears shoving forward and completely taken aback.

W-what...?!

"You were nice enough to let me use you as a pillow last night, so how about I return the favor?" He went on, oblivious to the immediate racing of her tired mind. "I'm not ready to get up just yet, so I was gonna sleep another few hours if I can. How about you try and catch a few hours yourself? I'll be your pillow~!" He hummed brightly and she paused, her eyes flashing as she stayed absolutely still.

He... He's serious...?

B-but...

He seemed to sense her hesitation right away because his smile softened and her gave her a reassuring look, "Come on, you are really tired, you need some sleep, yeah...? I don't want you getting sick from staying up so long, especially after all that energy you spent yesterday with the Villain and keeping an eye on me..." He told her softly, his voice dropping significantly and losing any amount of mirth that had appeared to start with. "... You gotta get some rest, Spirit. Even if it's just for an hour or two, you are running on nothing... Any sleep is better than no sleep at all, yeah?" He murmured, and she let her eyes drop from him, quiet still as he let out a small breath. "... Besides, doesn't having a little catnap sound really nice..? I know it sounds pretty good to me~" He added in and she wilted slightly for it.

... Shit... He...

Her head lowered a tad, her paws pulling slightly into her chest and her attention wavering despite herself.

He was... Really warm. His arms were, his breath, his hands- hell even his wings. His feathers tickled against her fur, the red clashing with the ebony hue of her pelt, and the darker colors of the pillows and blankets pressing in all around them. The cushion of his wing underneath her was a lot softer than she expected, and his hold on her was gentle as hell, she didn't even feel the ache of her ribs anymore... It was warm, and comfortable, and his scent was heavy on her nose... Light and airy, like cool open sky, with small hints rainy weather and sunshine spot showers, and so... So pleasant.

... Shit... How can it be that... Nice...?

... How the hell... Is he so warm...?

... Damn it... Did he... Somehow know...? That I just... Wanted warmth... A few minutes ago...?

Her eyes dropped halfway without her wanting them to, her posture following suit as what little bit she'd tensed up faded, and she melted further into his hold. Her head bobbed a little and she grumbled internally, quickly feeling her mind teetering to someplace hazy and full of warm, sunny currents of wind and sky.

... Shit...

... I'm... Already nodding off...

Her head bobbed again and she grumbled, rubbing at her face with a paw and the tip of her tail twitching irritably.

... Ugh... I don't wanna...

... We can't just... Sleep in the same bed...

...that's not... Normal...

Her head bobbed again and Hawks smiled wearily at her and how clear it was that she was doing her best not to let herself drift... And how quickly she was failing.

So stubborn...

He moved his hand up a bit, his palm cupping her cheek and thumb tracing gently over her ear, earning a small and definite mew from her this time. Her eyes fell all the way with the little head rub, and he smiled to himself even wider at it.

... Ahhhh, she's just like an actual cat...!

"... Heh, go to sleep Spirit." Hawks told her quietly, her cheek falling into his hand a little heavier as he drew his thumb over her head once or twice more. The last of her resistance melted away and she let out a breath, his hand falling with her head in it.

"... Mmm... Fine..." She mumbled nearly too quietly, but he heard it anyway and just smiled a tad further at it. "... Stop... Petting me... I'm not... A damn cat..." She sighed, her voice trailing off into a wispy breath of air and then nothing.

He heard her breathing slow down and deepen, her nose burying under her paws and curling up a slight bit more in his hold. Hawks ran his fingers lightly up the top of her head, continuing the petting even when she told him to quit- because what was she gonna do? She was dead asleep in about five seconds, and he couldn't help himself, how could he?

With her like this, so small and tiny that he could swallow her up whole in his grasp?

She was so-

His trailing fingers stalled, his eyes going wide and gleaming when her breathing deepened a tad further and a rumbling started up, reverberating through her body and into his arms.

-oh my god she's purring...!

He nearly swelled, his petting stalling as that hand quickly moved to cover his mouth and stifle whatever noise rose up in his throat in reaction to it. He was grinning like an idiot behind his fingers and he could not stop himself, or what flush came into his cheeks, and how his heart seemed to flutter at the soft purrs coming from the feline-formed Ebony Hero.

She is so CUTE!

I change my mind! Her as a mouse was adorable, but her as a cat is just too much..!

She's purring...! Like a real cat...!

He kept smiling, his body curling around her a little more and so much so his forehead brushed against hers, and he stayed right where he was, and with no intent to move again. The feel of her weight in his hold and the warmth of her against him was great, but the vibration born from the purrs were a wonderful addition and a comforting one too- not just physically in his own body, but also on his ears. For a split second he was almost glad she'd gotten so worked up to the point of being as tired as she was- if not for it, he wouldn't have had any excuse or reason for this to occur, and he would have felt quite lacking for it.

This... This was too nice to have missed, even if it had only come on by her unease and discomfort, and the whole rather unpleasant turn of events... He just wished maybe he could have had this and avoided the unpleasantness too, but he knew it wouldn't have worked that way. He just hoped when she woke up again she would feel less uneasy and strung out, and that sleep would help to put her mind at ease and let her process what he had said fully... And he hoped she believed what he said, when the time came.

He let out a low breath, his smile softening as the grinning came to a close and he pulled his free wing up, pulling it lightly over himself and Spirit with it- wrapping them both up in a sea of soft downy vermilion. His eyes dropped closed, his mind slowly fading off in tune with the rhythm of her purring and her breathing, his forehead still pressed lightly against her own and totally content to stay that way.

She smelled nice too, a little bit like a cat, but more with hints of lemon, lime and honey that he wasn't sure what from- but it was a good combo, and not overpowering in any way.

Ahh... This is really nice...! Cuddling with such a cute kitty...!

Ah... Well~! I might as well enjoy it while it lasts...! I doubt she'll just let me get away with this again without being as tired as she is... Hehe...!

He let out a small breath, tilting his head down a bit so his nose brushed lightly against hers for just a moment, her whiskers tickling against his face.

... That is a little too bad though, cause this is really, really nice...

... Maybe I should get a cat...?

... Though will it be worth it, if I could try and have Spirit around instead...?

He let out a quiet humm at the thought, his mind ebbing away further into a haze of warmth and gentle breathing hinted by low, raspy purring. He could feel himself quickly slipping further and further toward sleep, and he gave into it gladly, with one last thought on his mind before he slipped all the way down into pure, quiet, blissful nothing.

Heh... Maybe I'll hold off on the cat for a bit... I doubt any old cat would really compare to this...

.:+:.

It was empty here... Empty and full of nothing but gentle, warm white light.

The nothingness of the space stretched on for miles and she stood in stillness on a floor that blended in with everything else. So much so it didn't seem there, but it was solid and comfortable under her feet regardless.

There was no noise, it was as silent as it was empty- she was the only thing to be seen or found for a distance that stretched infinitely in all directions, and she did not move. She stayed still and quiet, content in the unending silence and bareness of the space, soaking in the constant and gentle warmth that wrapped all around her like an invisible blanket.

She'd never been anywhere so... So nice

She knew it was a dream instantly, there was no place in the waking world like this, no way for things to be this quiet... But it was a dream she had never had before, and never even had one even similar to it at all.

All her dreams were either fitful and full of unending dark and cold, or otherwise so dark and empty there was nothing to remember but the complete and utter blackness swallowing her whole. She did not dream, not like normal people would- nonsensical things about their days or the people they'd seen, or even fantastical ones full of wonder. Her dreams were always dark and empty and nothing happened... And when things did, they were the malformed figures and flashes of terrifying memory formed nightmares. Occasionally perhaps there were snippets of hazy things that didn't fall into that nightmare category, she supposed... Little things, in a body not hers, a mind not hers too- fleeting things... But these were rare.

But mostly all her life, sleep was dark and full of nothing, or plagued by terrible things... So to suddenly find herself standing in an empty that was bright and warm and pleasant was incredibly out of the norm. It was so odd it should have been jarring, but it was just nice.

Like really nice... Which is really weird

The white light all around increased until it engulfed everything and she could not even see herself. She was just left floating in a sea of warmth and current all around, spinning on all sides and brushing against her like streams of wind and air and sky on a sunny day... It even smelled like sunshine and sky, and... Spot showers...?

Wait a minute... I know that smell from somewhere...

She shifted, drawing her paws out tentatively and feeling downy softness against her pads, the scent springing up with a little bit more fervor as she did so. She stretched her claws out slowly, curling them into the soft, pricking on something light and feathery... It was delicate, but there was so much of it and it tickled against her pads. She sunk her claws in more, stretching them in and out and enjoying the sensation between her toes and every claw, the small tug as they stuck into the fine tendrils and split them apart, bunching up between her pads. She did it and enjoyed it in mindless bliss all the way up until she felt it hitch a little under her touch, and she cracked an eye open drowsily.

It was obnoxiously bright when she opened that eye, bright yellow light making her squint against it, grumbling internally to the sting on her vision. Sunlight was streaming in through the windows unhindered, bright and heated as it bore down on where she was laying- but she was much less concerned with the sunlight at that moment, and more focused on that little hitch under her paw... Which was quickly followed by another as she sunk her claws in a little further reflexively.

... It moved...?

She blinked, pulling her nose out from under her paw and focusing on the wash of red in front of her, of which belonged to that feathery softness, and had moved when she curled her claws into it.

... These are... Feathers... Red feathers...

She blinked again, the sleepiness wearing off a tad more and ending her staring at her claws stuck into those feathers. Her eyes instead moved upward and along the wing she was curled up on, lying lazily amongst the sea of vermilion and all the way up toward the owner of those feathers, and that wing... Who was turned away from her slightly and laying on his back instead of facing her, his hand covering his mouth and staring pointedly up at the ceiling. She tilted her head, ears perking and eyes glittering when she slowly took in how rigid he was- he was stiff as a board, and hardly even daring to breathe...?

She narrowed her eyes at him, her head tilting further to see that while he had the one hand covering his mouth (and most of his face... And smushing his cheeks a bit), the other hand had found a tight hold in the feathers of his other wing, scrunching them between his fingers tightly with a vice-like grip. That wing had curled slightly over himself, almost to shield him from view, but the feathers were ruffled and twitching even under his grip... Other than the little wing-fidget and fluffing, he did not move though, and he really did not seem to be breathing either. He just kept staring at the ceiling, rigid and his face quite... Flushed...?

... Why is he so... So tense...?

Is he... Blushing...? Why...?

With sleep still hanging over her, all she did was stare for a few moments, completely unsure of what she was seeing or what to make of it. It didn't make sense, what was he even doing...? Had he been awake long... Just sitting like that...?

What the hell is wrong with him...? Why is he staring at the ceiling like that...? And... Acting... So... So ruffled...?

She curled her claws into his wing once more absentmindedly, and this time they did more than just hitch a little, the whole wing jerked almost, the feathers underneath her fluffing and sticking up to poke into her fur, and a ripple seemed to move out over the whole thing... Like a shiver, almost, and it kept trembling ever so slightly still once it was done. Hawks shut his eyes tight against it, his grip on his mouth and his wing both tightening too as his face went bright red

She stopped, blinking once, twice, and then several times more.

Wait... I feel like maybe... We talked about this... A little...?

.:+:.

His hand lift from his pocket and his childish flare dulled down a bit as he gestured toward her and the feather that was floating at her side to closer- and brushed along her cheek under the cut traced into her skin. Spirit instinctively recoiled at the contact, just a little bit- but the feather persisted regardless for a few seconds more.

"Shame Stain did that to such a pretty face, the dude's heartless." Hawks sighed, Spirit's jaw snapped shut at the comment. "You'll still be pretty if it leaves a scar though, and you'll look more badass to boot- not that I'm sure you could be any more badass than you already are. You sure showed everyone that." He hummed, Spirit felt her face heat up and she hated it.

The feather twirled around her, brushing softly against her arms, her legs, and her sides, almost... Is that Feather-fuck feeling me up with his Quirk?!

Spirit's hands snapped forward and her fists closed around the feathers, ruffling it but not at all hard enough to snap the spine. Hawks jumped at the action of her hands clapping around it- his face falling and looking almost stunned and maybe even a bit mortified she had been so rough with it at all. He went stiff as a board, almost like he was bound as tightly as the feather itself. Spirit huffed, holding the feather hostage as she shot him a look.

"Quit feeling me up, Bird-Boy." She snapped lowly, he looked almost offended.

"I was not feeling you up! I was checking your injuries!" He whined, the feather squirming in her hands now.

"Well quit, I'm fine." Spirit grumbled, "I don't need to be poked and prodded, you'll just piss me off."

"Okay, okay, fine! You can let go of my feather now!" Hawks said quickly, looking exasperated and almost uncomfortable. "You're squishing it to death Spirit..! It's not a nice feeling ya know!"

Spirit huffed again but did as he asked, the feather zoomed over toward Hawks and he caught it gingerly, pouting now.

"... Rude..." He mumbled under his breath.

What a child

"I thought your Quirk was 'Mighty Wings'." Spirit grumbled, her hip cocking as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You send those things out to catch people and through fires and all manner of situations where they get mucked up, and you're pouting because I grabbed it a bit roughly?"

"Well yeah, but when I do that I'm sending them out with the intention they're gonna get messed up!" Hawks told her, "They're usually super hard, and sharp to boot- but I kept this one softer, so it's like an actual feather! If I hadn't you'd have totally cut your hands grabbing it just now!" He puffed, "And when I let them stay all soft and fluid I can feel more through them and gather info easier! Even if they're separated from me I can still feel things through them ya know, and you were rough Spirit!" He whined, Spirit simply quirked a brow at him, her expression unreadable.

"So what you're telling me, is that your wings and your feathers are sensitive?" Spirit asked flatly, he stiffened, his face flushing in a sudden and unexpected show of embarrassment.

And that's what you get for feeling me up, and the 'pretty face' comment.

.:+:.

... Ah right... His... Wings and feathers... Are sensitive...

... He probably doesn't appreciate my claws... Huh...?

... But why does he look so red-faced...?

If it was just uncomfortable he would be tense sure, but blush... Oh

Her eyes widened slightly when her sleep-hampered mind finally managed to put the pieces together, and she paused.

OH

She retracted her claws quickly, pulling herself up on to her feet, delicately so as she stifled a small mrrow of laughter at the realization. Amusement hit her right off, outweighing the little twinge of embarrassment that hit her too- she of course didn't mean to make him uncomfortable, but it was a little funny...hehe...

...ahh... It didn't occur to me that it'd feel like that for him...

... Poor Bird-Brain looks ready to have a heart attack, hehe...!

She hopped lightly off to the side and off his wing altogether, stifling another laugh at how quickly he brought it off the bed and folded it around himself, hiding his face from view and keeping it away from her. He did that before quickly moving further and sitting up, turning his back to her so she couldn't see him even more.

Hawks cleared his throat rather forcefully, attempting to settle himself quickly and offering up a small little wave over his shoulder, though he did not dare look back (or even bring his head out from being hidden between his tightly folded wings).

"G-good morning, Sunshine...! I didn't realize you... You were up...!" He said brightly, and very clearly trying to sound like nothing was wrong- but his voice was very breathless and quivering, no matter how hard he tried to sound otherwise. He gulped rather audibly, that hand still waving quite flusteredly, though a touch slower now as he cleared his throat another time. "Ahh, h-how are you...? Did you... Uhm... Enjoy your... Catnap...?" He asked, still trying to stay the course, and Spirit sat down, stifling another chuckle.

Ah, he's trying so hard to act normal... Hehe...!

His ears are almost as red as his wings... His face too..!

... Hehe... Well I know what to do next time he pisses me off, or says one of those stupid pervy comments of his- mucking with his wings will shut him up real good...!

"... Hmm, good morning... I slept fine." She replied lightly, deciding to spare him any comment on his behavior and stifle her own amusement to the whole thing- he was already embarrassed enough, yeah?

Besides, messing with him at a later date will be so much sweeter if I don't comment on it right now... Let him think I didn't notice anything, or at least don't care... He'll never expect to see me doing anything to screw with him later on that way~

She adjusted to let her back face him too, her attention fading from him for a moment and instead looking out the window to the very bright blue sky and high level of the sun... What time is it..?

She Shifted, her body engulfed momentarily in a black-red haze of non-reality, before she was back in her Human form. She sat now with her legs hanging off the edge of the bed, pushing a spare length of bangs back from her face as she kept looking out the window a few moments longer, her eyes narrowing.

"... It doesn't look like... 'Morning', Feathers." She pointed out, oblivious to the way he stiffened at her changing back into her Human Form so suddenly, and the assertion. "What time is it anyway...?" Spirit asked quickly, and he cleared his throat again.

"... Ah... Close to 3:30 in the afternoon, I think..." Hawks answered softly and Spirit stiffened slightly in surprise.

"... Seriously...?!" She hissed, and he finally dared to peek over his shoulder, his face half-hidden by his wing still and a little flushed too but not bad. Spirit did not notice the look though, she'd hastily started checking her pants pockets for her phone and grumbling to realize she'd probably left it in the other room. "... Ugh... Why'd you let me sleep so long, Feathers...?" Spirit mumbled, casting a slightly exasperated look over her shoulder and he blinked, his eyes snapping up from looking at her back so he could meet her eye instead, and she paused.

...Oi...

"... Well you were really tired, and you seemed pretty deeply asleep so I didn't wanna... Bother you..." He replied quickly to her question, before trailing off when she settled him with a flat stare, and he pulled his wing back over his mouth a bit. "... Uh..."

"... Would you stop staring at my back all guilty looking like that...?" She mumbled lowly and he stiffened at it, glancing away quickly.

"... Ah, sorry... I really don't mean to..." He mumbled quickly, "... It's just... Well, do you feel okay...? Cause, ah... Those all bruised really badly, Spirit..." He told her a bit tensely, and she paused again. Her eyes moved from him and down to her shoulder instead- a sort of attempt at seeing said 'bad bruising', though she knew there was no way to without a mirror.

"Did it?" She hummed, "I mean I'm sore still of course, but I don't feel any worse than yesterday..." She replied coolly and he seemed to swallow at it uncertainly. He turned just a bit, unfolding his wings from around his person and frowning a little as he gestured toward her a little.

"Uh yeah, your whole back is pretty much black and blue all over." He mumbled, "Are you sure you're just sore...? I can't imagine it'd be easy to move at all with it looking like that..." He commented and Spirit let out a small breath, biting the inside of her cheek at the little twinge of pain that ignited in her ribs, but little else... She supposed there was something of a constant and deep ache all over, and especially on her back- but it was nothing bad.

(Grant you it wasn't like she'd moved around a lot just yet, she'd likely feel it more as she woke up and started into the day)

"... I'm fine Feathers, don't worry about it." Spirit murmured, casting him a slightly pointed look that he blinked at. "You gotta stop being all broody and worked up about it, this isn't something to worry over- there are plenty of other injuries Heroes can end up with while working that are much, much worse than this. This is a minor thing, despite how it may look." She told him levelly, "Hell, you got banged up worse than I did." She pointed out and his eyes dropped a bit,

"... Mmmm, I guess that's fair..." He mumbled softly, "... But you should probably still take it easy. You're gonna end up hurting more if you push it too fast." He told her and she huffed slightly,

"... Says the one who has to take at least the next week off and has a grade 2 concussion... That's really advice you should be giving yourself Feathers, not me." She grumbled, and he smiled a little wearily at it.

"I'll follow my own advice, don't you worry~!" He replied lightly, before pausing as if a thought suddenly occurred to him, and his head tilted at her. "Do you have somewhere to be today? Did you actually need me to wake you up earlier..?" He hummed in question to her earlier comment on the time, and she shrugged slightly.

"I mean you didn't have to wake me up, but I was planning to go on Patrol like usual... With it being 3 already I don't have a lot of time to go home and get ready before 5 rolls around..." She murmured and his eyes widened at it.

"W-wait, seriously..?! Didn't you just hear me about taking it easy...?!" He said quickly, and Spirit grumbled a bit under her breath. "Spirit you can't go on Patrol today, you need to take the day the off- maybe even tomorrow too..! You shouldn't just jump back in like that, you need a break...!" He kept on, almost a tad frantically so, and Spirit quirked a brow at it. "I mean being all banged up aside, you've still gotta be tired yeah? You slept awhile but it sounded like you'd been awake for a really long time beforehand, you still gotta be beat, right..?" He murmured quickly and Spirit just kept looking at him silence, her expression flat and unreadable and he faltered at it. He swallowed a bit and let out a sigh, shaking his head slightly. "... Sorry, I know you don't like being told what to do Spirit, but really... I think you should avoid work today, at least." He murmured a bit more steadily this time and she just blinked once. "Just give yourself a day off, that can't be so bad, right...?" He mumbled and Spirit looked away again, her eyes flashing.

He was right, she did not like being told what to do, and it slightly irked her how quick he was to advise her against going to work and taking it easy... But honestly- it only irked her slightly. Very slightly.

She just... Wasn't really in any mood to argue, or get so wound up about it like she usually would. She did not feel the same fire in her core of agitation and anger at the words, or even really felt it at all. It hit differently just then and kind of bounced off without working her up... Which was new, but she supposed... Maybe I'm just in a better mood than usual? Because I slept... Quite well, actually? With no bad dreams, or dark cold ones..?

... Huh...

She let out a quiet breath, shrugging slightly as she leaned back on her hands and her head tilted back too, her eyes falling closed.

... It might also be that... What he said earlier did sink in, after sleeping... At least a little...

... About him not minding my bad attitude... Or me snapping at him... And that he's willing to be... Patient with me...

... And he was... Genuine about it all... I know he was... I think maybe even I knew that at the time, even with being so tired...

... And I don't really know how to feel about it all, or what to think... But... I do... Think... I wanna try and live... Differently...

... Attempt... And... See what happens maybe... But... Slowly...

... Cautiously...

...but... For now... For today I guess...

... Ahh, what the hell... He's probably got a point, if I go around doing Hero Work today I'll probably just make myself so sore I won't be able to hide it when I head to the Club...

"... Hmm, fine. I'll skip Hero work today." She murmured, her eyes still closed and missing how relieved he looked with her relenting like that.

"... Ahh, great...!" He chirped brightly and she tilted her head back further, blinking her eyes open and glancing at him upside down to see that soft little smile suddenly on his face now. He perked up, clapping his hands together softly in front of him and turning all the way to face her, settling into sitting on his heels and quite excited now. "Hey~! Since we're both gonna be off today, how about we head out and get some dinner~? My treat, I'll take you out anywhere you want~! It'll be my thank you for sticking with me after the fight yesterday, and being so nice while we've hung out~!" He said brightly.

Spirit tilted her head back down from looking at him upside down and turned slightly in his direction as he asked the question. Her head tilted at him and how quickly his spirits seemed to lift, and how excited he got at the idea of going out... I guess he's back to being his usual cheery, sunshine self, huh?

... He does feel a lot better today than he did yesterday, hmm...?

... I guess... We're both in a better mood today...

"What do ya say~? You hungry Spirit~?" Hawks pressed cheerfully and she let out a quiet breath.

"You know technically you shouldn't be going out and doing things- that's not exactly resting." She pointed out, but he smiled a tad more at it.

"Yeah, but it's not like we'll be running around fighting Villains and stuff! Dinner is a pretty relaxing activity, all things considered~" He hummed, "And besides, if you come with you can keep an eye on me and make sure I don't overdo it~!" He added lightly, and she huffed, rolling her eyes at him a bit.

"... I'm not exactly dressed to be going out anywhere." She sighed,

"Nah, you look great~! You're totally fine to go out anywhere, promise~!" He replied instantly and she bit the inside of her cheek at it, looking away from him with a slightly weary shake of her head.

"... You're pretty set on it, huh?" She sighed,

"Yep~! Gotta pay you back somehow~" He chirped,

You really don't have to pay me back at all, Feathers...

"... Fine... But we're only going out for a bit. We're not staying out all afternoon, got it?" Spirit murmured and his eyes absolutely gleamed at the response. "And no flying either, we'll take a cab to and from, alright?"

"Got it~!" He replied with absolute ease, and she hummed a bit under her breath.

... So eager...

"... Fine, then you can get dressed and I'll fix my hair a bit... But first, lemme see you." She instructed, pulling herself closer to him across the bed and sitting on her heels like he was. She reached out for him and caught his face lightly in her hands, forcing him to tilt his head to the side so she could get a good look at the stitches pulling at his skin on his temple. She brushed a lock of blonde hair back from the wound, her eyes narrowing at it, while Hawks just sat in silence, smiling all the while as she gave him a look-over.

The wound was still red and irritated, but the swelling had gone down quite a bit and the stitches weren't pulling at all. She pressed her fingertips lightly around the injury, delicately so as her eyes dropped from it and to his still smoking face. "Does this hurt at all?" She murmured and he shook his head just slightly,

"Nope~!" He chirped and she nodded, pulling her hands back and sitting back on her heels all the way.

"Alright. It doesn't look bad at all, so that's good." She murmured, pushing herself back to the edge of the bed again. She pushed herself off of it and on to her feet, stretching slightly (and only slightly in case it earned any pain). "I'm gonna go fix my hair, you get dressed Feathers." She murmured with a step toward the door, and he nodded brightly.

"I will be out and ready in a few minutes!" Hawks told her and she nodded, waving a hand over her shoulder wearily as she reached the door.

"... Don't rush..." She mumbled wearily, Hawks letting out a small chuckle at it. She shut the door behind her and headed directly to the door across the hallway, entering the spare room she had spent hours pacing through with a small sigh.

She found her phone on the nightstand and tapped the screen to life, her eyes flashing at the amount of news articles and notifications related to what had happened with the Villain yesterday (with no small amount of them having something like 'Animal Spirit to the Winged Hero's Rescue!'). She cleared them all out and blinked in surprise to see a text message from Death Arms;

New Message From: Death Arms
Are you alright after what happened in Heiku?

She bit the inside of her cheek at it, sighing wearily to herself.

... Shit... I suppose I probably should have told him I was fine...

She brought up the message and typed a quick reply into the box, sending it off and sticking the device in her back pocket. She moved toward the ajar door to the connected bathroom to fix herself up a bit, and grumbled to the distinct lines under her eyes still persistent from exhaustion even with the sleep she'd managed.

... Ugh...

She fixed her hair, pulling it out of the ponytail it had been in and running her fingers through the auburn strands, leaving them be without bothering to tie them back again. She checked the red face paint she'd left on from her Hero Garb yesterday, finding it still very much intact and not messy at all (this brand is ridiculously smudge free...). And then before she headed out of the bathroom again, she turned to get a look at her back and grimaced at the terrible black and blue hue of her skin, which far outweighed the red of the scrapes and the usual color of her skin.

Ah, he wasn't kidding when he said it bruised really badly...

She sighed and turned from the mirror, heading out of the bathroom at last. She paused to fix the bed up before exiting the room altogether and move to the living room. She picked her jacket off the back of the couch and pulled it on slowly, wincing halfway through the motion when moving her shoulders back was quite painful... Oi... But at least the jacket will cover it while we're out...?

"... Ahhhh, you put your hair down...!" Hawks' bright and cheery voice caught her instant attention, and she turned to see him coming up the hallway toward her- all dressed now and well-kempt.

... That was fast...

He smiled as he stopped in front of her, putting his hands in his jacket pockets and rocking on his heels a bit. Her eyes looked passed his shoulder and toward the line of red feathers still trailing after him out of the room. They were attaching to his wings, bulking them up quickly to their usual size, as opposed to the thinned out version they'd been for awhile now. He did not notice where her eyes had gone at all though, he just smiled more as he gave her a quick up and down, his eyes gleaming.

"You know, you should wear your hair down more often~! It really suits you~" He told her lightly and Spirit bit the inside of her cheek at the comment, looking away from him rather quickly.

"... Hush..." She mumbled, and he smiled a tad more at it.

"So, where do you wanna eat?" Hawks asked next, skipping straight passed the reaction and on to the next thing. "Since it's a thank you, pick whatever you want~! There anything you're in the mood for~? Or some kind of food that's your favorite~?" He hummed and she paused,

"... Mmmm... I don't know..." She mumbled and he tilted his head at it. "... I guess... Sashimi...? That's sounds pretty good..." She said slowly,

"Alright~!" He hummed, "Do you like sashimi a lot, Spirit?" He asked curiously, and she nodded slightly.

"... Yeah."

"Ah, well good to know! I will remember that from now on~" He chirped, "Well, that sounds good to me Sunshine, I know this great place over by the park we can go to~!" He murmured, his head tilting toward the door.

"Ready to go?"

.:+:.

"... Soooooo, how's your food~?" Hawks asked lightly, the Winged Hero leaning back in the booth across from Spirit and smiling. He'd been sitting like that for awhile now, content as he sipped on his soda and watched Spirit eat her meal and literally nothing else. She'd stayed quiet before the food came and listened as Hawks fell into his usual chatting routine, and then once the food was there he'd slowed up in talking to eat his own meal- but he was done now, and she was still eating... quite happily it seemed, though a verbal confirmation was always nice~~!

Spirit paused slightly before picking up the next piece in her chopsticks and she cast him a small glance, a small humm escaping her in reply. "It's good." She murmured lightly, her eyes falling back to what she was doing and nodding a bit. "Thank you for the meal Feathers." She told him, and he smiled a tad more at it.

"My pleasure Sunshine~!" He chirped back brightly, Spirit's hand stalling ever so slightly for the nickname, but she let it be, and kept eating. "So I was wondering, would you be cool if I came and patrolled Heiku with you every once in awhile? I had lots of fun when we were out with the Interns, it'd be great to work with you some more~!" He asked brightly, "Even with what happened yesterday it was still nice to see you in action~! You're super flexible in your fighting style ya know~!" Spirit cast him a small look, seeing him grinning to himself now and placing a hand on his chest as he leaned back in his seat a little. "I dunno about you, but I think we work together pretty well~! We were fairly on top of everything back with that Shadow-Villain in the park, and we did manage to take that guy out yesterday by working together~!" He hummed, and Spirit let her eyes drop back down onto her food, a small quiet breath escaping her.

"... I suppose so." She murmured once she finished her bite of food. "I don't mind if you stop by every once in awhile Feathers, just don't do it everyday..." She sighed and he grinned a little more, nodding quickly in agreement.

"Got it~!" He agreed, "Oh, another thing~! I'm going on tour in a few weeks, gonna hit up some other countries like England and the US~! You wanna come with~? Do a little networking with other Hero Agencies~? Huh~?" He asked next and she stopped midway through picking up the next piece of food, her eyes narrowing to slits as she stared down at her plate. "We can make a day of it when we're there~? See where you grew up~?"

She stiffened, her teeth gritting slightly and forcing herself not to frown at the idea... stupid Bird-Boy

"... no thanks." She replied flatly and he blinked at it, his head tilting.

"Aww, why not~? I'd be fun to travel together, see the sights~! It'd be nice to have a flying partner too~" He murmured, but she shook her head once and quite curtly, her eyes dropping closed and bringing the bite of food up closer to her face.

"I don't travel. So sorry Feathers, but you're out of luck." Spirit told him lowly just before taking another bite and he blinked at it, his smile fading a tad- though he wasn't all that surprised with the answer, he hadn't any real hope she would say yes.

"... Hmm, alright~! But the offer will stay open, so lemme know if you change your mind, Sunshine~!" Hawks trilled lightly, and she only let out a small huff in reply to it.

Don't count on it

Even if I wanted to, for some insanity-driven reason, I couldn't go anyway

She shook her head slightly at herself, finishing up the last of her food and setting the chopsticks down at last.

"... Soooooo, wanna have a few drinks maybe~?" Hawks asked, changing the subject now and she settled him with a flat stare, her eye twitching slightly.

"You have a concussion you dumbass, I'm not letting you drink anything...!" She hissed hotly, and he smiled at it, waving a hand at her in what was supposed to be a calming gesture- though the amusement on his face did nothing to settle her sudden annoyance.

"Hehe I know, I know~! Figured I'd give it a shot though~" he chuckled, leaning forward slightly with his elbows on the table and linking his fingers together. He set his chin on top of them, smiling still and his golden eyes glittering with mirth. "But how about sometime in the future then~? We could go to a bar, have a little fun~!"

"Not happening."

"Aww, why not~?"

"I don't drink."

"Hmm? Oh that's interesting~! I'm learning a lot about you already, huh~? One of your favorite foods is sashimi, you don't know how to cook, you're a good singer but you don't do it in front of other people, you don't travel, you don't have insomnia, and you don't drink! I think this being friends thing is working out well already~! Though... Hehe, that's a lot of 'don't's huh~?"

"... You're an idiot, and shut up about the singing thing..! People are gonna hear you!"

"My bad, my bad~! Hehe~! But anyway, want dessert~? I know this great mochi bar near here we could hit up~! It's not a bar bar, but it'll have to do for today, yeah~?"

"... You're a child..."

"That's not a no~!"

"Oi... Fine, but we're not staying out all night, remember?"

"Yep~! I hear ya loud and clear Sunshine~!" Hawks hummed brightly, the two of them slowly climbing to their feet and standing up from the table... Spirit more slowly than Hawks, she was still sore after all and the movement caused an unpleasant prick of pain running across her ribs, but she kept herself quiet.

Hawks waited patiently for her to get up, before they headed out, and his little bit of quiet failed him (inevitably).

"... What flavor are you gonna get~? Any particular flavor your favorite~? Vanilla? Chocolate? Mango-?"

He kept listing off flavors all the way through paying the bill and then heading outside and up the street toward said mochi bar. Spirit let out a quiet sigh at it, following slowly at his shoulder and listening silently as he ended up going on some weird tangent about the correlation of coffee places to desert bars within a single city, or something like that... she wasn't listening as intently to the details as she probably should have been, but she was listening all the same.

How does he make it look so easy...? To just talk... about literally anything, and keep up a conversation... it's like second nature for him...

... how is he always... so bright and cheery...?

She sighed slightly to herself, her eyes trailing from the Winged Hero and briefly darting about them around the sidewalk and the people they were passing by.

They were getting looks from most everyone, unsurprisingly- they'd been getting looks in the restaurant too, though most people had better manners than to stare too long or try to interrupt their meal. Nobody moved right off to interrupt them either in their walking, but there was a great deal more now with lingering eyes on the two (very casually-dressed and acting) Pros, and quite a few murmurs passed between pairs and groups... and even one or two quick, hasty attempts at snapping a photo that was meant to be subtle, but wasn't really.

... there's gonna be so much gossip running around after yesterday... and now with us... hanging out...

Spirit's red eyes trailed back toward Hawks, the Winged Hero sidetracking slightly when someone called out and asked if he was alright- you know, after having almost fallen to his death the day prior.

"I'm all good, thanks for your concern~!" Hawks trilled back with ease, "Thanks to Spirit I didn't get too banged up~! She was super quick to come to my rescue, to which I am super grateful for~!" He hummed lightly, his eyes shifting toward Spirit as he addressed her a little more directly with the last bit, and she paused at it, her eyes flashing. She hesitated half a second, before nodding slightly.

"... you're welcome..." She murmured softly and he smiled a bit softer for the quiet response,

"Y-you were so quick yesterday, Animal Spirit...!"

"Yeah, you were totally amazing..!"

Spirit smiled a little, faintly and politely so to the sudden calls and praises from the little group that had formed with Hawks having paused for only a moment or two there. She nodded to the praises she earned and words to how 'cool' she was, thanking them quietly for it and assuring the ones that asked if she was alright too. She responded to all the questions with that same formality and politeness that she reserved for the public, and Hawks responded to all the ones aimed at him with the same grace and flare owed to the Winged Hero- this wasn't something new for either of them... yet it kind of was.

"Both of you were amazing, you guys work really well together!"

"Yeah! You guys are great... hey, since you're hanging out off the job, are you guys gonna team up..?!"

"Oh that would be so awesome...!"

Spirit faltered at the questions, biting the inside of her cheek and shooting Hawks what was supposed to be a warning glance, but he never saw it- and if he was even aware of it, she wasn't altogether sure. He just smiled coolly to the questions, never wavering, never faltering, and never losing his grace and cool.

"Nah, we've got no plans for anything like that~!" He replied easily, shrugging his shoulders a bit. "We're just enjoying a bit of a day off, that's all~!" He hummed and Spirit let out a small breath,

... I half expected him to say something like 'not yet' or that 'he's working on it'...

"-With that being said, excuse us will you~? We got some dessert to get to~!" Hawks said brightly, patting his stomach slightly and a wing gesturing slightly for Spirit to start ahead of him. "Thank you for checking in~! Have a nice rest of your nights, yeah~?" He smirked,

"O-oh, yeah...!"

"T-thank you two for all your hard work..!"

"Be careful..! Enjoy your food...!"

"Will do~!" Hawks called back with a wave over his shoulder, and Spirit offered up a small wave of her own, murmuring her own polite goodbye and following close behind Hawks as they started off again.

"... oh my god, they're totally friends, aren't they...?!"

"You think the rumors about them might be true? That maybe they're more than friends...?"

"... they're getting dessert...! It sounds like a date~!"

The murmurs were so hushed and low even Spirit had a hard time hearing them as they headed off, but she heard them nonetheless and she started chewing on the insides of her cheeks for it... she was a little exasperated by it, but-

"You good there, Sunshine~?" Hawks asked quietly, his head tilting toward her a bit and smiling faintly, and she blinked at him. "I hope you don't mind all the attention we're getting, yeah? It's pretty exciting for the general public to see two top Pros out and about together after all~! But I know you don't really like the limelight too much~" He murmured and Spirit paused, her eyes falling away from him. Her hands dropped into her jacket pockets, and she shook her head slowly.

... I...

"... it's fine." She murmured quietly, and he blinked in surprise at the answer.

... for some reason now... it...

"... I don't mind." She told him softly, her eyes flashing slightly as she shook her head one more time, and only faintly.

... It's not... working me up the same way it usually does...

... I'm still tired, so maybe I just don't have the energy to get worked up... but...

... Maybe... I really am just... tired... of living like that...

... guarded all the time, and wary... suspicious and...

She let out a small breath, her eyes trailing slowly from the ground and back toward him. Their eyes met, red on gold, and he held the look steadily, though he was clearly searching her for something- and what he saw just then, Hawks couldn't quite put his finger on.

.... lonely...

Spirit cast the thought away with another small shake of her head, the corner of her lips pulling up in a small smile, and Hawks felt his heart skip a beat despite himself.

"You were talking about coffee shops...?" She hummed and he hesitated half a second, before smiling back and nodding.

"Ohh yeah...! Now where was I~?" He chirped, falling oh so easily back into his tangent from before and with just as much excitement still. Spirit smiled a tad more for it, letting out a silent, light little sigh.

... what a Bird-Brain... Hehe...

---

Hello! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was not so exciting- but hopefully you liked it nonetheless!

We got some more Spirit and Hawks interactions... and a bit of soul-searching for Spirit too!

Anyway, thank you reading and your continued support! QwQ

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