"It's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion" - Requested by agent-startbuck - November 3rd, 2019

Season Four - Fine

She hadn't been snooping - she was just trying to find a legal pad in his desk when her suspicions were confirmed. He'd forgotten to minimize the search browser when he went to the bathroom, so the evidence was staring her straight in the face.

The effects of brain tumors on patients' mental health: a case study.

She felt hurt indignation burn her skin, spreading across her cheeks like a slap in the face. The fact he had the audacity to look this up while sitting less than a foot away pissed her off.

Every morning, the first thing he asked when she came in was "How are you feeling today?" It was a subtle variance to the morning greeting he'd given her pre-diagnosis; "How are you?" His new greeting was predicated on the answer he assumed and the answer she wouldn't give. The assumption that she was getting worse, a steady decline making itself known through increased nosebleeds, weight loss, and infrequent bouts of confusion.

She knew he knew this was taking a toll on her. Aside from being a highly respected profiler, he was her best friend, the latter influencing the former to make him nearly overbearing in his constant analysis of her every move. The scientist side of her empathized with his frustrations – he just wanted answers. So much of their shared journey was reliant on trusting the other to be open and honest when the forces they were fighting were reliant on obfuscation and deceit. Now the evil they'd been fighting had gone from the deep recesses of the world and made themselves at home in her body; and it was like there was a wall between them. A wall Mulder was trying his hardest to find his way around while she continued to build it up with bricks and mortar.

"What did your doctors say?"

"Nothing."

"Are your nosebleeds getting worse."

"They're the same."

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine."

She'd slowly found a more powerful four letter word that starts with "f".

F-I-N-E

Four letters, one syllable, limitless wounded looks evoked.

Part of her couldn't blame him for having to turn to the internet to find out what he could, but right now it pissed her off more than anything.

"Hey, Scully. I was thinking-" Whatever he was thinking stopped short upon seeing her standing in front of his desk.

Based on the guilt in his eyes, she wasn't hiding her response to what she found very well.

"Really, Mulder?" she deadpanned.

"I just wanted to help, Scully," he murmured.

"I'm a doctor," she snapped, slamming the drawer shut harder than necessary as she made her way around the desk. She knew she was being unnecessarily harsh with him, but she couldn't help it. It was like everything about her body was outside of her control, a constant barrage of pain constantly being inflicted on her body; and the only thing she could control was her words, and it was nice not being the only one who hurt for a change.

"And I'm your partner, and I know you're not fine," he snapped back, taking her by surprise. Usually he treated her like she was made of glad now a days. The fact he was pushing back was something she hadn't felt in a while.

"I'm handling it, Mulder," she demanded, raising her voice.

"It doesn't seem like you are."

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion," she replied. She punctuated her sentence with a sharp intake of breath when she felt the familiar warmth trickle down her lips and onto her chin.

She shot her hand up to her face and looked around for a tissue, eventually finding one in Mulder's outstretched hand as an uncomfortable silence fell over the office. The vibrant buzz of their argument settled heavily on them. There was nothing more to say. She couldn't lie, and all his questions were being answered in red on her face.

She is not fine.