Author's Note: Surprise midweek upload! A bit of a shorter chapter, this one mainly sets up later plot elements, as well serving as a quick reintroduction to (most of) Mr. Simmons class, but I'm still really happy with how it turned out. I know I teased the title of this chapter as "Baseball Practice", but since there's not a lot of baseball that actually happens in this chapter, I changed it.
Review Responses:
The J.A.M. a.k.a. Numbuh i: In real life, allergies don't necessary pass down genetically. One of my half-sisters has a bunch of food allergies, and no one else in the immediate famliy does. That being said, I wanted to give Cecil something Helga could relate to. Also, I think Bob would remember not to buy strawberries if his wife or his golden child Olga had an allergy to them, but since it's Helga who has the allergy, he forgets, as shown in the episode "Quantity Time".
I also decided to address the Mickey Spillane novel that Arnold has. The way I handled it was based on the fact that when I was ten I was hestitant when it came to books and movies with violence, gore, horror, and other stuff like that. For example, my dad tried to get me to watch Gremlins when I was around Arnold's age and it ended up giving me nightmares. Just because he thought I was ready for it didn't mean I was ready for it. Hilariously enough, just a few years later I was happily getting my hands on various r-rated movies and reading Stephen King books.
Also, as evident by me editing in what the sitcom references are and editing out the details of the contest, Married... with Children was the sitcom. By mentioning it in their review, the J.A.M. won. Expect a chapter focusing on Rhonda as soon as the story allows, probably sometime mid-September (in story, that is). I do want everyone to feel free to mention what characters they want to see get the spotlight, though.
Darkeiko: I can totally picture Bob having played high school or college football. Heck, that's probably where he got the nickname Big Bob:"Nobody can get past Big Bob! He's like a brick wall!"
Previously: After spending time together, Arnold and Helga sit down with Olga to hear the story of how she met and fell in love with Helga's father Cecil. She even shows them a pendant that Cecil got her: half of a golden heart on a chain, with him presumably still having the other half. After Helga stops Olga from relating something she really shouldn't, and Arnold goes off to do some chores, the mother and daughter are left to bond over some Super Mario Bros. and stories of Helga's various Arnold-related exploits.
Previous Married... with Children Reference: The two teachers who are mentioned, Mr. Leavitt and Mr. Moye, are a reference to MWC's creators, Ron Leavitt and Michael G. Moye. Mr. Leavitt teaches English because Ron Leavitt was also a script writer for various shows, and Mr. Moye was a biology teacher because Michael G. Moye became an avid coral reef aquarium hobbyist after retiring. The names of the various actors who play the main Bundy family are also all mentioned (Ed, Katey, Christina, and David).
Chapter Seven: Friends and Mysteries
? ? ?
Arnold was walking the streets of Hillwood, fog obscuring the streets. Various people walked in and out of the walls of whiteness, none of them paying any mind to the ten-year-old as he continued on his way. Where am I? I don't recognize my surroundings. Where was I headed again? He couldn't remember, yet for some reason he didn't feel worried.
As he continued walking, two buildings he recognized emerged from the fog. Chez Pierre and Chez Paris. His heart nearly stopped as he saw a figure standing outside the latter. She had on a pink shirt with red stripes and a dark pink skirt. Her long blonde hair flowed down to her back and obscured part of her face. It was Cecile. Or, at least, the girl who had pretended to be his pen pal.
"Cecile!" At the sound of her "name," the girl started giggling and ran off into the thick white nothingness. Not wanting to lose her, Arnold started to chase after her.
Just as he started to catch up, a figure emerged from the mist in front of him. It was a girl with a football-shaped head similar to his: Ruth McDougal. As he skidded to a halt in front of her, she looked at him with a look of annoyance. "Hey, busboy! Where's my Yahoo soda?"
Maneuvering around her, he continued running. Soon enough, Cecile came into view again. "Cecile! Wait!"
Once more a figure emerged from the mist. Wearing a green jumper over a light green cotton shirt, was a freckled girl who had her reddish hair in two braided pigtails: Lila Sawyer. Once more Arnold came to a stop as the girl, holding her hands together in front of her, looked at him shyly.
"Hi, Arnold. I've been thinking it over, and I've decided I really do like you-like you. Do you still like me-like me?"
As Arnold went around her, this time he turned around. "I'm sorry, Lila. I-I don't feel the same way anymore. I-I've got to go." And with that he was off.
He started to sprint in the direction Cecile disappeared. "Cecile! Where are you? I need to talk with you!"
Eventually a blonde figure appeared. As Arnold got close enough to the girl he realized it was not Cecile, but an older girl in a swimsuit. She had a nasty scowl on her face. Arnold recognized her. "Summer!?"
She pushed him down onto the sidewalk. "I finally found you, you little shit! I lost my chance to be on Babewatch because of you and that one-eyebrowed freak! Now I'm going to get even!"
Scrambling to his feet, he sprinted away from the angry girl, as much to catch up to Cecile as to avoid the irate girl's wrath.
Even as he ran faster and faster, he didn't see Cecile. Eventually, his legs grew tired, and he came to a stop.
As he rested his legs, Arnold put his hands up to his mouth. "Cecile! Cecile, where are you?!"
Eventually, a shadow appeared in the fog. It waved to him and shouted, "Hey Arnold!"
"Cecile!" He started to run towards her.
Once more she called out. "Hey Arnold!"
"I'm almost there, Cecile!"
He could see her. He could make out her beautiful golden locks, her sparkling blue eyes, her-
"HEY ARNOLD! HEY ARNOLD! HEY ARNOLD!"
Wednesday, August 20, 1997
Five Days Before the Start of Fifth Grade
"HEY ARNOLD! HEY ARNOLD! HEY ARNOLD!"
At the sound of his alarm clock, Arnold's eyes flickered open. Staring up through the skylight, he sighed. Sometimes I hate that clock.
He unplugged the wire from the potato that kept his little effigy talking. With silence now pervading the room, he thought about the dream he just had. Cecile... or whoever she was... why am I thinking, dreaming of her again? It's been such a long time since she's been in my thoughts...
After his encounter with the mysterious girl on Valentine's Day last year, she had haunted both his waking thoughts and his nightly dreams. Who was she? Was she serious about really liking me? That date at Chez Paris had seemed so special, especially compared to the other "date" he had simultaneously had next door at Chez Pierre. The mystery girl had seemed to be everything Ruth McDougal was not. Smart. Attentive. Kind.
However, by the time third grade ended, he was no closer to figuring out her identity. Eventually, she had faded from his mind. By the time he started to like-like Lila the whole thing had nearly been forgotten.
Why now? What has made her come back into my thoughts?
He reached up into one of the alcoves next to his bed. Grasping the two books he felt there, he brought them down and rested them on his bed. He grimaced at one of them. It was the old copy of Mickey Spillane's I, the Jury he had been given by Dino Spumoni when the then washed-up star had faked his death. His grandpa had held on to it until Arnold's tenth birthday a few months ago.
He hadn't gotten around to reading it. Not that he hadn't tried, it was just that whenever he sat down with it he always ended up feeling uncomfortable with it about a chapter in. The main character, Mike Hammer, didn't exactly come off as likeable, and the amount of gore in it made Arnold feel queasy.
It didn't help that when he tried to get into it again several days ago, Olga had nearly had a fit when she saw the book. It had led to the first and so far only argument she had had during her stay (not counting the several that Oskar had provoked.)
She told his grandpa that Spillane's books weren't appropriate for a ten-year-old. Phil shot back, saying it was up to him and Gertie what Arnold read, not her, and he felt fine letting the boy read it. Although Olga had backed down, Arnold had gone to her and admitted he was uncomfortable with the book, which led to her lending him a copy of The Hobbit. He did want to eventually read the detective novel, since Dino had left it to him, but he probably wouldn't try again anytime soon.
After putting it back where he got it, he looked at the other book he had grabbed. It was a little pink book, its pages full of poems about him. It had appeared among Gerald's books one day about a month into third grade, and they had spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to find out the author. Much like the later mystery of "Cecile's" identity, they failed.
Could the fake Cecile have been the author? Why else would she have gone to the trouble of impersonating my pen pal? Could it be that she did it to try to get close to me? Because she liked me like she said she did?
There was no way to know for sure. The book wasn't signed and there weren't many clues to the author's identity in the poems themselves, and his time with Cecile had been so brief... he sighed and put the book back up next to the Spillane novel.
Getting up and going over to his closet, he picked out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. While Hillwood had luckily been having a rather mild summer, especially after the scorcher it had been last year, today was rather hot, so he decided to forgo wearing his usual long sleeved shirt-sweater combo.
Exiting his room, he went down the stairs and to the bathroom, which was currently unoccupied, its door left ajar by its most recent user. After showering, dressing, and blow drying his hat, Arnold opened the door. Much like yesterday, Helga was waiting there to use the shower, although thankfully no bra was in sight this time.
"Good morning, Helga."
"Morning, Hair Boy."
As he stepped out of her way, he remembered something. "Oh! Helga, our next two baseball practices are going to be a little earlier than usual. Harold's family is doing something in several hours, and Sheena's family has plans for most of Saturday. Gerald's going to meet me out front at about 7:40 and we're going to head over to Gerald Field."
"Thanks for letting me know. See you later, Football Head." And with that the door was closed.
Heading down the stairs and into the kitchen, he greeted Gertie and Mr. Potts, who both had a bowl of Cheerios in front of them.
"Hi Grandma. Hi Ernie."
"Good morning, Kimba."
"Hey Football Head."
Arnold frowned. "Please don't call me that."
Ernie raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem to mind too much when your little girlfriend calls you names."
Arnold groaned. "For the last time, she's not my girlfriend." What Ernie asked him got him thinking, though. Huh. When did I stop being bothered by Helga's nicknames?
He grabbed a bowl and poured himself some Sugar Chunk cereal. He sat with the others and started munching away. After a few bites, he heard someone else enter the kitchen. Looking up, he saw it was Oskar. The Czech man was wearing a ratty old suit that was (marginally) better than his usual apparel.
"How do I look?" He asked.
Arnold tried to be complimentary. Emphasis on 'tried'. "Uhhh... good?" His grandma quietly snickered.
Ernie wasn't as tactful. "Oooooo. What's the special occasion, Mr. Bond?"
Oskar missed the shorter man's sarcasm. "I decided to apply for the job at the new Hillwood branch of Gary's Shoes and Accessories for Today's Woman." He said in as dignified a voice as he could manage with his accent.
Ernie once more raised a brow. "I thought you said, and I quote, 'in Czechoslovakia shoe salesmen were considered worse than paupers'. What made you change your mind?" He then smirked. "Wait, wait, let me guess... you threw a newspaper through one too many windows and you got your butt fired!"
"I did not, Baldie! I just can't stand waking up so early anymore!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BALDIE?! You're not exactly Fabio yourself, you bum!"
As the argument continued, Arnold and his grandmother shared a look. "We better eat fast, Kimba, before their yelling attracts predators." She whispered to him.
Arnold, agreeing with his grandma's nonsense for once, finished his breakfast as quickly as he could. Going back up to his bedroom, he picked up The Hobbit. He was really enjoying the adventure. Bilbo and the dwarves had just gotten to the Smaug's lair when Arnold looked up and saw that it was 7:35. He sighed. I always have to stop at the most exciting parts, don't I?
Putting the book away, he started heading downstairs. He paused at door seven. Helga's probably spending time with her mom. Raising his hand, he knocked.
"Come in!" Olga said in a singsong voice.
As he opened the door, he spoke. "Is Helga in here? I just want to-"
Arnold stopped talking at the sight that greeted him. A very grumpy looking Helga was seated at the table. Behind her, Olga had some of her daughter's golden locks in one hand, and a ribbon the same color as Helga's bow in the other.
"What do you want Football Head?" Helga spat.
"Helga!" Her mother scolded.
"Uhhhh... I just wanted to let you know that Gerald will be here soon."
"Go ahead Arnoldo. I'll join you two as soon as Olga's done with this sick experiment she somehow talked me into." Helga then growled at her mother.
Olga ignored her daughter's hostility. "Don't worry, Arnold. I've done this for my college friends quite a few times. It won't take me more than a few minutes."
"Okay. See you soon Helga." And with that headed downstairs. Once he reached the front door, he called out. "Grandma! Grandpa! I'm headed out!"
"Have fun, Shortman!"
"Happy hunting, Kimba!"
Going out the door (after letting the various boarding house animals leave), Arnold saw his best friend Gerald waiting at the bottom of the stoop.
"Hey man, what's up?" Gerald asked as Arnold walked down to the dark-skinned boy.
He answered as they did their secret handshake. "Not much. Been getting the new boarder settled in."
"Who is it? Your grandpa said it's someone you know, so I probably know them too, right?"
Arnold was about to answer when a mischievous voice in his head (that sounded suspiciously like Helga) spoke. Don't tell him. He'll find out soon enough.
"I'll tell you later." Arnold said. "Anyway, how are things at home? Jamie O still giving you trouble?"
"Man, he's been horrible! I don't know what is up with him! Several months ago, we were getting along great, then all of a sudden he starts being a massive jerk again. He seems all stressed out... yelling at me and Timberly, throwing things, stealing my stuff, and constantly getting in trouble with mom and dad... I swear I even caught him crying the other day. That and Dad's going all penny pincher on us again." He sighed. "Anyway, let's get going."
Arnold looked towards the door, which remained shut, then back to his friend. "Uh... how about we wait a moment."
Gerald was not feeling very patient this morning. "Come on man, practice starts at eight. I don't want to have to run there. What could you possibly be waiting for."
Arnold tried to stall. "Gerald, the field is just a few blocks away... we have plenty of time."
Gerald was having none of it. "Let me rephrase what I said. They want to start at eight. I want to get there and have some time to chat with everybody. So, let's get going!"
"Gerald, I-"
"Keep your pants on, boys! I'm ready to go!"
Arnold and Gerald turned towards the door, and Gerald's mouth dropped open. There stood Helga, her hair in a French braid with the pink ribbon weaved into it.
"Trying to catch flies, Tall Hair Boy?"
"Wha-what the heck is she doing here, Arnold!?" Gerald sputtered.
"I live here now, Geraldo!" Helga said, a smirk on her face.
"WHAT!?" Gerald turned to Arnold "That can't be true!"
Arnold snickered at his friend's bewilderment "Gerald, I'd like to introduce you to Sunset Arms newest border," – he held his hand out towards the still smirking girl – "Helga G. Pataki. I believe you two have met."
Helga chuckled. It wasn't every day that Arnold messed with someone like this, and the fact that it was Gerald was the cherry on top. "Alright, alright, enough with the comedy routine. Let's get going."
As Helga walked past, Arnold complimented her. "Your hair looks nice, Helga."
"It better look nice after what Olga subjected me to. Now come on!" And with that, the trio set off.
As they passed by an empty lot with a "For Sale" sign, (a result of the boarders accidentally blowing up the building that had been there during the FTi incident), Gerald lightly grabbed Arnold's arm and pulled him a little further back, away from Helga.
The African American boy spoke at a low volume. "Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm. Arnold, my man, you have my sympathy. Living with Helga G. Pataki. I should have guessed, what with her sister moving in several weeks ago, but still... what a terrifying situation. And I thought I had it rough with my dad and brother."
Arnold frowned. "Gerald, she isn't that bad. Except for a few incidents, we've gotten along great the last day and a half."
"What kind of incidents?" Gerald inquired. I knew she's up to no good!
The image of Helga's training bra hanging from between her clean clothes popped into Arnold's mind, causing him to blush. "N-nothing major." At Gerald's unhappy look, he jumped back to defending the girl. "But, Gerald, you have to believe me when I say that she's changed."
"She's changed? Then why does she still call us names?"
"I think it's just part of who she is, Gerald. She calls Phoebe 'Pheebs', for example, and they're best friends."
Gerald rolled his eyes. "I can't figure out what Phoebe sees in her."
Suddenly, from in front of them, Helga spoke. "Yeah, well, I have no idea what she sees in you, Geraldo."
The two boys froze in their tracks, Gerald cheeks turning red. Looking forward at Helga, they realized she too had stopped and was glancing at them with annoyance. "You two know I can hear you, right?"
Gerald grumbled as Arnold apologized. "Sorry, Helga."
"Arnold, I said I could hear what you two were saying. You have no reason to apologize, Football Head." She then glared at Gerald.
Gerald continued grumbling until Arnold elbowed him, eliciting a rather insincere apology.
As they continued to Gerald Field, Arnold decided to bring up another topic with his best friend. "Gerald, I had a dream with Cecile in it."
"Your old French pen pal? I thought you two stopped corresponding after the Valentine's Day fiasco last year."
"No, Gerald. Not the real Cecile, the fake one I met at Chez Paris." Neither boy noticed Helga tense up in front of them.
Gerald groaned. "Really, Arnold? You nearly drove me nuts the last few months of third grade trying to figure out who that girl really was. The fake one might as well have been from France like the real Cecile, for as much luck as we had finding her. I was so happy when you gave up the search." He was already starting to feel annoyed.
Arnold put his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I know, Gerald. I just can't figure out why she's on my mind again."
Gerald looked at his best friend. "You know what I think? I think you've got a crush on this mystery girl." Ahead, Helga nearly tripped.
Arnold scoffed. "Gerald, that's ridiculous! How could I have a crush on a girl I met once? I mean it was a nice date and she was cute, but still... I saw her the one time and then she disappeared."
He thinks I'm cute? Helga had to restrain herself from squealing in delight.
"That's just it, Arnold! You met this cute girl, and you actually had a good date with her. Look at the rest of your track record. Ruth was an airhead. Lila had no interest in you once you started like-liking her, and that girl Summer you told me about turned out to be a manipulative bitch-"
"Gerald, language!" Arnold scolded.
Gerald rolled his eyes. "Ugh. Sorry. Manipulative witch. Anyway, my point is, you had this nice date, and the girl disappeared afterwards. I think that actually makes you crushing on her more likely. She's a mystery you can't solve, and that makes her more alluring."
The "solution" walking ahead of them was starting to get nervous, so she picked up the pace. "Hey, look guys! We're almost there!"
Sure enough, after passing by a couple more buildings, they came to the vacant lot-turned-baseball diamond that they had christened Gerald Field.
Almost all the other members of the team were there: Harold, Stinky, Sid, Curly, Nadine, Sheena, Iggy, and Brainy.
Seeing the trio, the various kids came over and greeted them. Harold in particular was happy to see Helga, as they had been getting along better ever since the field trip to the chocolate factory. "Look everyone, Helga's back!"
A chorus of voices joined the Jewish boy in welcoming back the former bully.
"Gee willikers, it's good to have yew back!"
"There's our umpire! Lookin' cool, girl!"
"Hi, Helga! Who helped you with your hair? It looks nice!"
"Ugh! Why couldn't my Rhonda have been with them?"
"Rhonda's not even on the team, Curly! Anyway, it's good to see you, Helga!"
"Boy howdy, with you back we'll beat those sixth graders for sure!"
"Uh... hi."
Having everyone be happy to see her brought a warm feeling to Helga's chest and a small smile to her face. "Guys, I've only missed a few practices. But... thanks. It is good to be back..." She looked around. Someone was missing. "Where's Eugene?"
Everyone looked at the clumsy boy's best friend, Sheena. As everyone waited for her to answer, she shrugged. "I don't know. He told me he'd be here today."
Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming from the direction opposite Sunset Arms. It was Eugene. When he had almost reached them, he tripped, and his face met the sidewalk. Helga grimaced. Ugh, I was right to compare Cecil to him.
As the kids rushed over, the unlucky boy sat up. Although his face was red, he was miraculously not bleeding. "I'm okay." He managed to utter.
He shook off the impact as Sheena helped him up. "Sorry I'm late. My alarm clock wasn't working, and somehow the door to my room was jammed. I was trapped. My parents only got it open about ten minutes ago."
Good lord! Olga was right. Eugene is the king jinx. No one else can compare.
Just then, Eugene noticed her. "Hi, Helga! I'm glad to see we're a complete team again."
Helga once more smiled. "I'm glad to be here. Now let's get ready to play. I need to catch up, as I want us to whup Wolfgang's butt when we play him on the sixth."
As the group walked over to where they stored their equipment between practices, Helga retrieved her catcher's mitt and umpire mask. As she put them on, she looked at all the other kids: her friends. It feels good to be liked...
Before we go, I want to address something about the timeline. I've made reference to various episodes taking place during third grade. While throughout the show the main characters are always nine and always in fourth grade, everything simply cannot happen in one year. The episodes that make this the most impossible are the two cheese festival episodes, since the cheese festival is mentioned as only happening once a year, and two of the holiday episodes. "Arnold's Valentine" has to happen before "Arnold's Thanksgiving" since their original teacher, Ms. Slovak, appears during "Arnold's Valentine", while her replacement Mr. Simmons appears during "Arnold's Thanksgiving."
To kind of fix this, I'm headcanoning most of season one and some of season two as taking place when Arnold and company were in third grade, leaving the rest of the series and the first movie to still take place during the the fourth grade school year. I could have set the later seasons as taking place during their fifth grade year and this series takes place during the sixth, but I plan on (very loosely) adapting the Jungle Movie late in the story, and I want the characters to be the same ages as they were in the movie. Plus there's also the fact that I'm pushing it with Arnold's ignorance of the birds and bees already.
Next Time: Shopping!