Are you ready, kids? Strap in for Season Two of "A Dash of Logic"! And we're gonna kick off this season with a whopper!
We open on a shot of the usual island with three palm trees above Bikini Bottom, but the sky is dark and cloudy and the island is being pounded by the downpour, accompanied by distant claps of thunder.
"Ah, what a dark and stairmy night. It's nights lik zese zat rémind mé of ze time SpongéBob, Patrik and Squidward waire trapped inside ze pineapple, wivoot sustenance and cut off from ze rest of la whirld."
The camera literally dives down, the lens bombarded by bubbles until we see SpongeBob's home in the middle of a thunderstorm, the leaves on top of it flailing wildly from the powerful winds, and we get a zap of lighting.
"Eet was ze autumn of 2009..."
We see SpongeBob, Patrick and a charred, smoking and very miserable-looking Squidward enter the kitchen.
"Don't you fret, Squidward!" The sponge assured him happily. "We'll weather out this storm together! Me and Patrick made all the necessary precautions to turn my humble abode into a fortress that could withstand anything!"
"Yeah, we might be stuck here together for a while." Patrick shrugged casually.
"Why couldn't that zap of lighting have killed me?" Squidward muttered sardonically as SpongeBob marched over to his fridge.
He opened it but then his eyes bulged out, accompanied by the sound of glass shattering, as he found the fridge to be empty, except for two or three emptied cans lying around.
"The food!" SpongeBob panicked. "What happened to the food?"
"Is there a problem?" a peeved Squidward, who was back to normal, appeared behind him.
Upon seeing the empty fridge himself, his eyes stretched out in shock, sporting pulsating veins.
"It's empty!" he clutched his head. "Where did all the food go?!"
"This can't be right?" SpongeBob pondered. "We filled it up just this morning, right after hearing Preflumster's forecast-"
BURP!
The two turned around to Patrick and scowled suspiciously.
"Patrick, you didn't eat all the food from the fridge, did ya?!" SpongeBob asked incredulously.
"Eh…I can't remember?" Patrick scratched his head as we zoom in on him, and now he has stains all over his morbidly swollen belly and a stained mouth.
"I might have had a few snacks?"
Squidward was literally boiling with rage when SpongeBob got between the two before the situation could get volatile.
"Calm down, Squid." He held his hands up reassuringly. "I've stockpiled a lot more food, not all of it could fit in the fridge. As a matter of fact? Lemme get you some nice canned bread!" SpongeBob walked over to the cabinets and opened the lower ones, but they were completely empty as well.
"Huh?" SpongeBob was dumbfounded and proceeded to check the upper cabinets as well, only to find them empty too.
"What in Neptune's name?" SpongeBob blurted.
"We don't have any food?" Squidward panicked and glared at the starfish. "You didn't!"
The empty cabinets jogged Patrick's memory.
"Oh? Sorry, guys." Patrick replied lazily. "I get the munchies real bad when I get bored."
"You insatiable glutton!" Squidward exploded and poked him in the gut. "Do you want us to starve here!?"
"What's a "glutton"?" Patrick cocked an eyebrow.
"It's what you are, you hoggish slob!" Squidward ranted, earning Patrick's ire.
"Oh, yeah? Well…well, you're a bigger one!"
"Guys, don't fight!" SpongeBob broke them up. "Let us not succumb to pineapple fever?"
"Pineapple what?" Squidward made a face.
SpongeBob giggled. "Well, it's like cabin fever, except that we're in a pineapple, not a cabin. See, it's wordplay?" he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
It failed, as Squidward just gave him an unamused look, while Patrick just stood there with a vacant, slack-jawed expression. The silence was punctuated by a chirping cricket.
Blinking, SpongeBob cleared his throat. "Um…how about we split up and look for any remaining food?"
"Fine? Not like I have anything better to do!" Squidward threw his tentacles up and walked off. "As long as I get away from you two buffoons." He grumbled under his breath.
The trio split up, with Squidward searching all the remaining cabinets and drawers in the kitchen but found squat.
"Grrrr….barnacles!" he lamented.
SpongeBob searched through his emergency food reserves in the basement but found them all cleared.
"Tarter sauce!" he snapped his fingers in frustration.
Patrick went to the bathroom and opened the toilet seat.
He frowned, turned around and cupped his mouth. "I got nothing?"
He took a second glance and smiled upon noticing a small urinal cake.
"Wait, I found something!" He pulled it out and held it up proudly.
SpongeBob and Squidward both cringed in disgust.
"Eh…you can have it, Pat?" the sponge grimaced.
"We're doomed!" Squidward lamented and buried his face in his tentacles.
"There, there, Squidward…" SpongeBob patted his shoulder. "Look on the bright side?"
"What bright side?!" was the octopus's snippy response.
"Well, we might not have any food. But….eh, this storm can't last forever?" SpongeBob said gingerly, trying to be optimistic.
"Why….I'm sure we'll be free to go outside in no time!"
12 hours later…
The wall clock showed that it was midnight, as a malnourished, disheveled Squidward was sitting against the boarded-up front door, his bloodshot eyes meticulously following every tick and tock, while a drop from the leaking ceiling hit his head in perfect synch with every passing second.
His stomach rumbled and he could do nothing but groan miserably.
SpongeBob and Patrick, meanwhile, were playing hopscotch in the middle of the living room, and SpongeBob was the one currently skipping.
"Come join us, Squidward!" SpongeBob called him happily. "Playing games is a great way to combat hunger pains!"
"I'll pass…" Squidward muttered and walked off, heading back towards the kitchen.
"What did I do to deserve this?" he mumbled to himself.
"Meow?" he walked past Gary.
"Oh….hey, Fred." Squidward waved lamely.
"Meow!" an annoyed Gary corrected him, but since the former didn't speak snail, it was useless.
Squidward reached the cabinets and rummaged through them again.
"Come on…" he muttered desperately. "There must be something edible in here? Some bread crumbs? Some expired yogurt? I'd even eat snaily treats at this point!"
He paused as he spotted a half-opened can of seaweed spinach lying around, with flies buzzing around it. We zoom in on it and hear an angelic choir, before cutting to Squidward tearing up with joy.
"Food!" the octopus drooled at the mouth and snatched it greedily.
Standing back up, he clutched it closely. It was all his! He had no obligation to share it with those two cretins that he was forced to weather out this storm with!
Opening up the can, he scooped up some of its content with his free tentacle and stuffed it into his mouth, swallowing it and then scoping up another handful.
As he stuffed it into his mouth again, he heard someone clear his throat from behind him.
Squidward gulped and turned around, finding SpongeBob and Patrick looking at him.
He sweated bullets and hid the can behind his back. "What are you two doing here?"
"Squidward, did you find food?" SpongeBob asked hopefully.
"No, no, I didn't!" Squidward shook his head.
"But what about that can behind your back?" SpongeBob pointed out.
"No, you can't have it!" Squidward hugged it protectively. "Finders keepers!"
"But, Squidward? I'm famished!" SpongeBob pleaded. "I haven't had anything to eat all day?" His rumbling stomach confirmed that.
"Yeah, I want a bite too!" Patrick whined.
"No way!" Squidward snapped. "You ate up all our supplies!"
"Squidward's right!" SpongeBob turned around and wagged his finger. "I think I'm more deserving of a meal than you, Mr. Greedy!"
Patrick gasped, before scowling indignantly. "Oh, I see! You two are ganging up on me! I thought you were my best friend!"
While they were arguing, Squidward tried to make a break for it.
"Hey, get back here!" Patrick trampled SpongeBob as he chased after him.
Catching up, he tackled Squidward and the two rolled around, almost crushing Gary in the process, but the startled snail jump out of their way.
Coming to a stop, Patrick pinned Squidward down, squashing him under his immense weight and grabbed hold of the can.
"Yes! It's mine!" he proclaimed triumphantly but SpongeBob somersaulted over him and snatched the can out of his grasp.
"Not, it's mine!" the sponge said and started sucking up its content.
"Gimme that, I found it first!" Squidward threw Patrick off and grabbed the can, as he and SpongeBob fought over it.
"No! It's mine!" Patrick joined the fray, resulting in a three-way tugging war until the starfish swung the other two around like ragdolls and they crashed off-screen.
Laughing joyfully, Patrick threw the can into its mouth, munched on it and swallowed it.
"Ohhh….that hits the spot." He said in a low tone.
Lying on top of SpongeBob, who in turn was lying over his demolished cabinets, Squidward looked up and gasped.
"No! No! My supper!" he rushed towards Patrick, pried his mouth open, put his tentacle down his gullet and searched through his stomach. "Where is it! It has to be here somewhere!"
Shaking his head, SpongeBob came to his senses and grabbed Squidward, pulling him away from Patrick.
"Squidward, calm down!"
"Calm down?!" Squidward swatted him away and ranted with a deranged look in his eyes. "I'm starving over here!"
"You're starving!" Patrick snapped at him lividly. "Look at me! I'm practically skin and bone!"
We cut to a close-up of Patrick's immense, bulging belly, covered in pimples and with lint sticking out of his belly bottom, accompanied by a foghorn noise.
SpongeBob whistled with his fingers to divert their attention. "Stop it! Don't you see what's happening here?" he pleaded to the octopus and starfish. "This storm is turning us against each other?"
Cue bubble transition…
We find the three sitting in a circle in the middle of the living room, as water continues dripping from the ceiling and leaking through the walls.
"Alright, so things got a little intense in the kitchen." A fidgety SpongeBob tried to mitigate the situation.
"But that's nothing a friendly game can't mend?" he swung his fist. "Something to take our minds off the whole…..being trapped in this place with no food issue?"
Squidward and Patrick glared daggers at each other, accompanied by canine growls.
SpongeBob's face twitched and he let out a nervous giggle, before holding up a piece of paper with a three-by-three grid crudely drawn onto it.
"How about tic-tac-toe? Would you care to go up against me first, Squid?"
"Fine." Squidward grumbled.
They started playing until Squidward quickly drew a diagonal row of three Xs.
"Ha!" he laughed maniacally and held up the paper. "I win!"
SpongeBob's face fell. "Wait a sec!" he complained. "I'm not seeing anything there!"
Squidward scowled furiously. "Are you blind!" he pointed at the paper. "See? I won!"
"No, nobody wins tic-tac-toe that fast!" SpongeBob retorted in an accusatory tone. "I think you cheated!"
Squidward's pupils shrunk and a vein started pulsating on his head.
"YOU SON OF A LEECH!" he roared furiously and tackled SpongeBob to the floor, as the two started punching and kicking each other.
"Hey, I want to play too!" Patrick yelled angrily and joined the fight, resulting in a huge fight cloud.
We zoom away from it and see Gary shaking his head.
"Meow." He groaned and slinked away. These three were clearly losing their marbles, might as well steer clear of them until the storm passed.
He slithered up the stairs and into his owner's room, where he hunkered down in his snail bed and retreated into his shell, where Gary suddenly shrank down in size and we see him sitting in a comfy chair, illuminated by a nearby fireplace as he's drinking from a teacup with a straw, while classy violin music is playing in the background.
The scene dissolves into a close-up of Squidward drawing a line on the floor with chalk.
We zoom out to see that the house has been divided into three sectors, with Squidward standing at the bottom of the stairs, Patrick standing at the entrance to the kitchen, and SpongeBob in the living room. They look disheveled, each one sporting a shiner, their clothes are torn and they look crazed and unhinged.
"That's it! Everyone has their own turf until this stupid storm blows over!" the octopus ranted psychotically. "I want nothing to do with you two imbeciles!"
"Fine by me!" SpongeBob snapped with uncharacteristic rage. "I want nothing to do with a lousy cheater like you! Or a gluttonous jerk like him!"
"Oh, yeah!" Patrick retorted. "Well…" he paused and sweated, blanking on any good comebacks.
"Your head is full of holes!" he told SpongeBob, before turning to Squidward. "And you have a big, stupid nose!"
Growling, the three turned their backs on each other and stormed away in anger.
"Good riddance!" Squidward ranted as he walked up the stairs.
Cue bubble transition….
As they continued being trapped in the pineapple for days and days, their predicament was starting to take its toll on their psyche. The storm wasn't wavering one bit, and if anything, it was getting stronger, as they continued to hear pounding rain and stronger claps of thunder.
SpongeBob was hiding behind his couch and tv, which he had been flipped over to form a barricade. He was sporting a five o clock shadow, his clothes were even more tattered and he looked like had hadn't cleaned himself in weeks, probably because that was exactly what had happened. He was also wearing a lampshade as a hat.
His bloodshot eyes peaked over his makeshift barricade, spotting Squidward watching from the top of the staircase, hiding behind the wall. He was wearing a bucket as a helmet and holding a mop for a weapon.
"Look at him, he's up to something…" Spongebob rambled to himself.
"I'm watching you, SquarePants…" Squidward grumbled, the veins in his eyes pulsating. "You're not getting the drop on me. I know your game!"
Glancing to his left, SpongeBob also caught a glimpse of Patrick peaking from the kitchen, watching him like a hawk.
SpongeBob lowered his head, turned around and clutched a toaster, which had two dot eyes and a simple line for a smile.
"What's that, Mr. Toaster?" he giggled like a loon as he pressed the toaster to his head.
"I know Patrick and Squidward are planning to eat me to survive." He rambled fearfully, his entire body twitching. "What am I gonna do about it?"
"What was that?" he listened to the toaster again. "I should strike first?"
"Yes, yes, yes! I won't go down without a fight!" he grew a deranged smile, his voice getting raspier and more nasally, as he kept listening to his new best friend. "Yes, and I should prepare myself for battle! Make weapons!"
We get a slide transition and find SpongeBob using a pocket knife to fashion a spear made from a table leg.
Holding it up, he looked at it with mad glee. "Food! I need sustenance to build up my strength!"
He went on the prowl, stalking silently through his living room on all fours, with his spear in hand, until he spotted some sea urchins heading towards a crack in the wall.
SpongeBob leaped and speared one, making the rest scatter, before swiftly spearing another one.
"I did it!" he looked at the skewed urchins and hoisted them above his head. "I am sponge! I bring food!"
He proceeded to do the Tarzan yell in triumph, which echoed through every room in the pineapple.
Cue bubble transition…
We get a POV shot from someone opening their eyes after a long slumber, showing the inside of Gary's shell.
The groggy snail popped his head out of his shell and yawned, before promptly being started by the sound of things being smashed and shattering.
"Meow?" he looked around, slithered down the stairs and reached the living room, where his eyes promptly widened in shock.
The whole living room had been trashed, with junk lying everywhere, the couch, the recliner, the tv and other objects were smashed to pieces, and cables were hanging off the ceiling like vines.
Gary saw his owner and his two neighbors hooting, screeching, jumping and flailing around like a pack of wild chimps, while also looking exactly like their ancestors from "SpongeBob B.C", complete with leopard-skin loincloths that they had somehow acquired.
SpongeBob was hooting and swinging through the cable vines, Squidward was drawing crude cave art on the walls, while Patrick approached and tickled the "chin" of SpongeBob's fish lure wall ornament while saxophone music played, before striking it with his club, cracking up its face in the process, and dragging it towards his "den" in the kitchen.
Gary's jaw dropped. They've gone stark raving mad? They've regressed back to savages? For the love of Neptune, just how long had he been snailnapping?
Primordial music was playing, as SpongeBob stalked through the coral forest, his spear in hand. He heard grunting noises and stopped behind a patch of tall seagrass. He pushed it away and spotted a sea pig munging on it, a plump sea cucumber-like creature with many tiny legs and the head and tusks of an actual wild boar. The beast glanced up at him and SpongeBob let out a fierce battle cry as he threw his trusty spear, slaying the beast.
Gary watched in shock as his owner screamed like a lunatic, pupils dilatated and now sporting ape-like fangs, while repeatedly stabbing a cushion pillow on the floor until he put his foot over it and let out a victory cry (like the one from "Club SpongeBob").
SpongeBob crouched down and started taking bites out of the pillow, humming pleasurably at the fine taste of freshly slain pork.
"Meow?" he heard his concerned snail and turned around sharply, barring his fangs and protecting his kill. But his face dropped in fear as he saw Gary heading towards him.
We get a POV shot from SpongeBob where we see little Gary morph into a giant saber-toothed snail with a row of sharp spines lining his shell and with a thagomizer on its tail, who growled viciously and then let out a thunderous roar, which elicited a wild take scream from SpongeBob as he ran off, much to Gary's confusion.
"Uh-uh-uh! Scooga banooga!" Squidward grunted happily while drawing on the wall until SpongeBob ran into him and fell to the ground, causing the octopus to smear paint across a few of his stick-figure drawings.
Enraged, Squidward turned to SpongeBob and pulled out his club while ranting and raving, "Nanoga tabonga pooga!"
The shaking sponge jumped and hugged him.
"Uga huga Manaka!" SpongeBob pointed ahead.
Both saw the gigantic, bestial Gary heading towards them, raising his head above them and letting out another blood-curdling roar. They both screamed and Squidward swung his club.
Gary barely dodged the first swing but was struck by the second, which sent him flying into the kitchen, where Patrick was lying on a bunch of blankets, cuddling with the wall ornament, until Gary bounced off it and then off the wall until he landed in his pet bowl, making it spin in place.
"Noga fagonda? Mindy no fagonda, paga?" Patrick comforted his "mate" as if it was crying, before standing up; enraged, fangs clenched and he let out a gorilla grunt.
The dizzy Gary shook his head before seeing an angry Patrick looming over him, who roared, hooted and pounded his chest before trying to smash Gary into the floor. The snail barely escaped his fists and Patrick chased him out of the kitchen, roaring like a beast.
But Patrick was grabbed by Spongebob and Squidward and pulled back into a corner.
"Padda, nagga! Manaka!" Spongebob warned him and pointed at Gary, who was cowering in another corner.
"Manaka?" Patrick asked before finally seeing Gary as a growling, saber-toothed beast with nothing but wanton carnage on its mind.
"AHHHHH! MANAKA!" Patrick freaked out before grabbing the tv (wasn't it smashed to bits?), lifting it and throwing it at Gary.
"Meow!" Gary jolted and ran off, barely avoiding colliding with the tv, which shattered against the wall, letting sparks fly everywhere.
A lightbulb went off over Squidward's head and he whistled with his fingers to gain the other two's attention.
"Padda! Spingga!" he pointed at himself. "Scooga uga gugga?" he tapped on his head before grabbing a piece of chalk and drawing on the wall.
He drew himself, SpongeBob and Patrick, all wielding spears, then a plus sign, then the giant, saber-toothed Gary, filled with spears and with Xs for eyes, then an equation sign and finally, a cooked turkey dinner.
"Manaka gruba! Gruba!" he pointed at the drawings.
"Gruba!" Patrick and SpongeBob said excitedly while drooling at the mouth.
Action music started playing, as all three grew determined looks, pulled spears out of hammerspace and let out their tongue-flopping battle cries.
Cue bubble transition…
Panting, Gary was slithering through the hall of the upper floor. What was he going to do now? They had all gone mental and he was trapped with them?
He didn't get to ponder for long as huge shadows suddenly loomed over him. He turned his eyestalks around and saw a bloodthirsty Squidward, SpongeBob and Patrick glaring at him, breathing heavily and wielding spears.
"Meow!" Gary jolted and ran off.
"Bawana Manaka!" Squidward exclaimed as he and his hunting party chased after Gary through the hall while uttering primordial battle cries.
Gary was soon cornered against a wall and saw three spears flying at him. Gary dodged them, letting them pierce the wall in a vertical row, and then used it to jump up the wall as a screeching, fang-faced SpongeBob and Patrick charged at him. Using the third spear as a springboard, Gary jumped over the two and landed on Squidward's face, coating in snail slime.
"Ikka ikka!" Squidward panicked and flailed around.
"Padda gadda, Scooga!" Patrick assured him, wielding a club and trying to bash Gary, but the snail jumped off and Patrick smashed in Squidward's face, making him fall onto his back as tiny chirping clams orbited his head.
"Uga?" Patrick touched his chin sheepishly before SpongeBob approached him.
"Padda? Manaka skedaddle?"
We get a wide shot of the hall, showing that Gary was nowhere to be seen.
We slide transition and find out that Gary had found his way into the attic, which had a dome-shaped ceiling (for obvious reasons).
"Meow? Meow?" he looked around frantically. He had to get out of here? Find help? Storm or no storm!
He searched for any means of escape, but with the rest of the house being thoroughly boarded-up, this attic was his last chance. Searching, he spotted a small crack in the wooden wall and squeezed his eyestalks through it.
Once they were outside, his eyes grew in shock at what he saw. It was a sunny afternoon with fishfolk strolling, chatting and doing various other frivolous activities like on any other normal day. He even saw some kids jumping into a mud puddle in front of the pineapple.
Pulling his eyestalks back, Gary mulled in confusion. "Meow?"
But he didn't get to dwell on it, as the camera zoomed out to reveal Patrick sticking to the ceiling, sporting an evil smile.
"Manaka gruba." He said sinisterly.
"Meow!" Gary cried before being grabbed and whisked off-screen.
Cue bubble transition…
"Mmmmphpmmh!" Gary was tied up to a rod and was being spit-roasted over a small fire by Squidward, who was licking his lips, all while Patrick and SpongeBob were holding their spears up and doing some kind of tribal dance and chanting as they circled around their cook.
Was this the end of Gary? Was his goose cooked? Well, this ain't no dark fic, so one…two…three.
The boarded-up door was smashed open, startling the trio of cavemen, as Sandy leaped into the scene, having swapped her clunky suit for combat boots, cargo pants, a black tank top and fingerless gloves.
"Alright, ya yellow-bellied varmint! Let 'em go!" she proclaimed heroically before her face dropped.
"What in tarnation?!" she blurted when the trio of cavemen barred their fangs, held up their spears, let out savage battle cries and charged at her.
Narrowing her eyes, Sandy did a front flip. "HI-YAH!"
We see a slow mo shot of her sucker punching SpongeBob, shown against a yellow and orange ka-pow background.
Then we see her do the same to Squidward via spin kick.
And finally, we see her gut-punching Patrick into the air.
We cut to SpongeBob crashing to the floor, with Squidward falling on top of him and Patrick on top of him, crushing the other two below him and making their eyes pop out.
With the hostiles neutralized, Sandy grabbed the spit roast rod and tore the ropes off, freeing Gary.
"Gary? Are ya okay?" she asked worriedly, holding him in her gloved paws.
"Meeow." He said weakly.
Sandy just blinked, for she didn't speak snail either.
Groaning, SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward sat up and rubbed their aching heads when they noticed that they were being bathed in the bright light coming from the hole where the front door used to be.
They promptly hissed and shielded themselves like vampires.
"Alright! Enough foolin' around!" Sandy said sternly, as she walked up to them, holding Gary. "What's wit' thi Cro-Magnon cosplayin'?"
"Sandy?" SpongeBob croaked in a strained voice, regaining some lucidity. "Is that really you?"
"Oh, Sandy!" Squidward cried and clutched her shirt. "It was awful! We've been trapped in this hole for months, maybe even years!"
"What are ya ramblin' 'bout?" Sandy asked in confusion. "This dang storm only lasted fer 24 hours?"
"What?" the trio blurted in unison.
"Yes, and Mr. Krabs was angry….eh…ah mean worried that ya two didn't show up fer work today." She told SpongeBob and Squidward. "So ah agreed t' help 'im track yall down."
"Wit' all dem folks complainin' about thu noise comin' from thu pineapple, ah thought someone was holdin' ya hostage." She elaborated. "Ah wasn't expectin' that yall were holdin' yourselves hostage."
"But that means?" SpongeBob realized and promptly got teary-eyed as he snatched Gary.
"Oh, Gary…" he told him with big, pleading eyes. "I'm so sorry for trying to eat you! I'm such a monster!"
Gary sighed and replied with, "Meow. Meow", catching the former by surprise.
"Aw…you're so forgiving, Gare-bear." SpongeBob wept. "I don't deserve you as a pet!"
"And, guys?" he turned to Patrick and Squidward, sniffing. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you!"
Patrick and Squidward also started weeping in shame.
"Me too, buddy." Patrick sobbed. "I don't know what came over me. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yeah, I'm so sorry that I let myself get trapped in here with you two dolts." Squidward sniffed and the three hugged each other while bawling their eyes out.
"Wait?" Sandy wiped a green stain off Squidward's cheek with her finger and sniffed it. Somehow? Despite wearing a glass helmet?
"Ya weren't eatin' expired seaweed spinach, did ya?"
"Eh…maybe just one can?" SpongeBob admitted.
Sandy rolled her eyes. "Now it adds up. Expired seaweed is a breedin' ground for Praerancidus cacas, a fungus wit' neurotoxic properties. Known symptoms include erratic behavior, wild hallucinations and, if left untreated fer too long, mental regression." She said professionally.
"Huh? So that's why it tasted funny?" Patrick shrugged.
"But it's nuthin' thaath some sunshine and fresh air can't cure." Sandy relaxed and pointed at the hole in the wall she herself made.
SpongeBob perked up. "Oh, so we aren't actually accountable for any of our actions?"
"Yeah, I guess?" Patrick smiled. "We just had some bad weed!"
All five of them started laughing. All's well that ends well. Until a ticked-off Mr. Krabs barged in.
"SpongeBob! Squidward!" he roared and shook his fist. "There ye are, ye shiftless swabs! Get back t' work this instant, or ye're FIREEEEED!"
A frightened SpongeBob and Squidward snapped to attention, saluted him and put on their Krusty Krab hats.
"Yes, sir! Right away, sir!"
Another "Bummer Vacation" situation, by which I mean another chapter where I effectively rewrote the entire episode. "Pineapple Fever" is another episode that most would consider undoubtedly bad but hardly one of the worst episodes, even within season six alone and….yeah, I fall into that camp. Besides the obvious issues of SpongeBob and Patrick being intolerably stupid and Squidward being driven up a wall for no justified reason (though this is far from a Squidward torture episode, which is probably the best thing it has going for it, how sad is that XD), this episode's biggest crime is that it squanders a pretty good premise: our main three characters being trapped somewhere during a thunderstorm and slowly losing their minds. Characters going crazy is this show's bread and butter, but since this was a season 6 episode, the plot just meanders for most of its runtime and barely even touches upon the aforementioned premise, as most of it is wasted on drab and tedious padding, and they were so desperate to fill up the meager 11-minute runtime that they actually stooped as low as to use Family Guy-style overly long/mundane gags XD Have you no shame! XD
As you have noticed, I hit a bit of a rut with this fic for the last few months, mainly doing the anniversary special and finishing "Squidward, You're Fired" in order to stay active on the SpongeBob fanfic front (though I'm very satisfied with how both of them turned out). I always wanted to do a chapter involving one or all of the characters losing their minds, and I was also eager to do something that involved the setting from "SpongeBob B.C" and I eventually settled on doing both things with this episode!