Ch 3: Take It Easy

"Mrs. Carson. Mrs. Carson wake up."

"Hmmm." Elsie moaned almost painfully, turning away from her husband's gentle inquiry and facing the wall. "Nnnn." She cried.

"Mrs. Carson I've let you sleep as long as I possibly could." He whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed and gently sweeping her hair out of her face. It'd been more than an hour since he'd woken up and now the whole house was awake, save Elsie. "But I'm afraid its time you got up. We've only got a few days before the garden party, and…."

"Hmmm." She muttered, settling back into a deeper sleep.

Carson sighed. He didn't know what to do. He'd let her sleep as long as he could and she was still exhausted. He hated to make her get up when she was like this, it wasn't right. These were some of the first moments in his recent memory, that she hadn't been working herself to the bone and he couldn't bear the thought of disrupting her from restorative slumber she clearly needed. For a moment, he thought of having Anna take over for her but then remembered that she and Mrs. Patmore were still in London. The Crawley's cook, Mrs. Bird was running the kitchen now, and things were finally going more smoothly than they had in months.

The season and the garden party always put undue pressure on Elsie but Mrs. Patmore and her illness had added an unusually heavy burden. She had been policing the kitchen since Mrs. Patmore's eyesight started to fade; intervening at a moments notice and swooping in to save the day, each time just as the place was about to catch on fire. And if that weren't bad enough, she had to defend poor Daisy from Mrs. Patmore's outbursts… after all she was in denial about her eyes and often blamed her mistakes on the young girl. The worst part was that she had to argue with Mrs. Patmore and convince her any of it was even happening in the first place.

It was too much stress for anyone, not to mention someone who was on her feet over twelve hours a day everyday and pregnant. If Carson had known she were pregnant earlier he would've insisted she stop trying to handle the situation with Mrs. Patmore and done it himself. This was precisely why he felt so terribly guilty: because he should've done that, and a hundred other things, but instead he'd been in London with the Crawley's. He hated that she'd been working so hard all that time. It hurt him somewhere deep inside and made him feel like less of a man, like he'd failed her.

Carson paused, watching his wife. She looked so fragile to him, lying there sound asleep in his bed. He didn't think he'd ever seen her as more venerable than he did in those few moments. The idea of waking her made him feel like a brute somehow and he almost couldn't bare the thought of doing it.

His bed. He scoffed at the idea. It was one of the things he hated most about this whole arrangement. His bed when it was really their bed… their secret marriage and impending baby seemed to get harder to hide everyday and he couldn't wait to let it out into the open. He had no idea, for example, how was he going to sneak her out of his room with everyone else awake. The idea almost made him panic. Usually, she slept there with him, and got up early, before anyone (even Daisy) to sneak back into her own room unnoticed.

They'd yet to break their news to the rest of the house and were waiting until the baby made its self-known. He didn't like this arrangement much and would rather have just told everyone right away. But this had been Elsie's idea: to announce when she started to show and he was glad they were nearly there. It'd been two weeks since they'd told Lord and Lady Grantham about the baby and he thought you could tell she was pregnant now…. or at least, he could, probably only because he knew her so well. So far though, he was awed by it. He took a second, just smiling at the thought before electing to try to wake her again.

"Elsie, my love." He whispered.

"Mmmm I'm so tired."

"I know but it's time to get up."

"Mmmm." She cried.

Carson was frustrated. Everyone else was having breakfast just outside his door and he knew that soon someone would come knocking: they couldn't start without him. At this point, he had half of mind to let her sleep, go to breakfast and announce that his pregnant wife was exhausted and he'd appreciate it if they could be quiet enough to allow her to continue to sleep… Well, he wanted to do that but he knew Elsie would be livid at him if he did.

"Mmm Charlie." She yawned, her eyes still closed. "I'm sorry, I'm growing a person, and it's exhausting."

"It's alright my love, why don't you go back to sleep?" He suggested.

"Hmmm but you're right I do have to get up it's two days before the garden party…"

"I think it'd be alright if you took the day off." He tucked her back in bed, noting she didn't protest.

"You're not my boss. I am my boss." She emphasized, yawning. "But I will take the day off."

"Yes my love, that's quite right: I'm not your boss but I will cover for you and I think you should stay in bed."

He didn't say it but he was relieved for a multitude of reasons when she'd agreed to the suggestion. Not only was he worried about her health but, Mrs. Patmore and Anna were scheduled to return sometime within the next day and a half and he knew that met she'd be the acting referee between her and Mrs. Bird if she were up and around, and that was just about the last job he wanted her to have. He would do it for her.

Carson kissed her cheek and got up to go to breakfast, deciding to have Ms. O'Brien, of all people, take over for her for the day. He paused in the doorway as he watched her sleep, having wanted to mention that she was still working far too hard for his tastes. He stared at her for a second before leaving the room, deciding he'd leave that conversation for later on in the day when she was more awake. He'd been worried from the moment he said her pregnancy was how had she phrased it… delicate? And was hoping that the level of exhaustion she was experiencing was normal, not something he had to feel guilty for. Truthfully, though he was terrified something was very wrong.

Elsie let herself snuggle deeper into the pillow once he left, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. Something didn't feel right and she didn't know what it was, just that she didn't want to tell Charlie. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she had an overwhelming feeling it wouldn't be safe to get up that day.

"No, no not this way." She whispered. She held her stomach tight and took a deep breath, reminding herself that no matter how much rest she got it wouldn't keep the baby inside her if it wasn't met to be. "Please stay with Mummy, stay with Mummy." She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying.

…..

The sound of Lady Grantham's screaming had been horrifying and even hours later it rang in O'Brien's ears, leaving her aghast and shaken, almost petrified by the consequences of her own actions. Hours had passed since it had happened and now it was the servant's dinner hour. O'Brian sat almost catatonic, unable to touch her dinner or look at anyone in the eye. While the panic of the afternoon had died off, the pace of her heart had never slowed and she felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. She didn't dwell on that, but instead, couldn't stop thinking that she'd never be able to trust herself again with anyone or anything.

O'Brian certainly didn't notice Mrs. Hughes sitting next to her, shaken and white as a sheet. Elise had felt well enough to get up around lunchtime and had gone back to work, much to Carson's chagrin. But she felt like she'd been having a panic attack, ever since Lady Grantham's fall and in a way she felt guilty, wondering if the impeding incident was really what she'd been feeling when she hadn't wanted to get up that morning. Either way, the whole thing hit far too close to home and made her even more anxious about the wellbeing of her own unborn baby. That morning she'd been so afraid she'd loose it and what happened to Cora was a harsh reminder of how easily that could happen.

Elsie wanted to cry and reached under the table when no one was looking, gripping her husband's hand for comfort. He squeezed it warmly, wanting in the worst way to take her in his arms and hold her. The day had been a jarring reminder for him as well about how easy it would be for them to loose the child they wanted so much. He knew it would be hard to discuss it because she was so upset, but he felt more determined now than ever to discuss her workload with her, thinking it might literally save their child's life.

"What a long faced lot." Thomas remarked suddenly.

"Kindly show some respect." Carson replied sharply.

"She didn't loose it. And even if she had she would've gotten over it. They're no bigger than a hamster at that stage."

Carson could feel his wife squeeze his hand harder when Thomas said this. He turned to her, sensing her pain, shutting out everyone else's ardent protests to the footman's almost acrimonious speech. Elsie looked at him longingly, tears in her eyes. Normally, she would've said something sharp to Thomas about his being so heartless, but this time his words really bothered her. Her baby, after all, wasn't even as big as a hamster. And she'd never get over loosing it.

The way Thomas spoke made it sound as if her child had no value at all, like no one would care if she lost it and she shouldn't either…it may seem ridiculous, but she found something about his remark almost threatening, and if nothing else heartbreaking, as if he were reminding her she and her child didn't have a fighting chance if something went wrong at this stage. Even Cora, who was something like six weeks ahead of Elsie, was immensely lucky to not have miscarried.

Elsie put her head down, lost in thought, trying hard to hide her tear-stained face. She knew everyone was arguing but the lump in her stomach made it hard to focus: she was suddenly alarmed by the realization she didn't feel well at all. She felt Charlie let go of her hand but paid no mind, jumping suddenly, her heart beat accelerating at rapid speed when Thomas and William landed on the table in front of her, bringing her wandering mind back to the present.

"Thomas that's enough!" She heard her husband bark as he and Branson moved in quickly to break up the fight.

Elsie's heart started beating so fast it felt like it was jumping into her throat. She could scarcely breathe and got up, covering her mouth and running to her sitting room, not caring about how it looked to anyone. She needed to get out of there. Charlie followed once he broke the fight up, concern written all over his face.

"Elsie my love, are you alright?" He asked, taking her into his arms.

"A hamster." She muttered through her tears.

"Shu, I know. You mustn't let Thomas get to you like this."

"Do I ever?"

"You are right now."

"Charlie I don't want to loose my baby."

"Shu, shu, shu. It's going to be alright my love."

"Charlie I'm scared…I didn't tell you. I felt like something wasn't quite right this morning and I'm scared."

"Oh my love, I did too and that's what I've been meaning to discuss with you."

"What?"

"It's time you take it easy, rest, stay off of your feet."

"You're not saying you want me to retire?" She asked. She did not want to retire.

"No and we can't retire, not now anyway."

"Why?"

"Because if we do we can't afford to feed our child Elsie."

"Oh..." She hadn't realized. Her heart sunk.

"We're doing very well, we have money set aside but things would be too tight right now: most of your salary goes to Becky, remember?"

"Oh yes…"

"I'm just asking you to start slowing down."

"But Charlie I can't I have…"

"You can and you will. We'll all manage. I've been thinking: you've been working far too hard for my tastes."

"But Charlie…"

"Like I told you in the beginning, no wife of mine is going to be pregnant and on her feet twelve hours a day. I simply won't have it. I think Lady Grantham's incident should be a warning for us about your slowing down, don't you?" She nodded. "Besides. You're going to have to slow down you know… sooner or later; your body will demand it. You got a taste of that this morning."

"I suppose I did."

"Don't worry about work. Let things go by the wayside. Sit down when you feel like it, nap, do whatever you need and I'll make sure to fill in the gaps: Anna and me. Your health is what's most important not to mention the baby's life!"

"You're a very protective Daddy aren't you?" She asked, sniffling as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Yes, yes I am." He leaned his forehead against hers.

"You're so wonderful, you and your way of always making me feel like it'll all be alright." She whispered, rubbing her nose against his.

"I could say the same of you. I'm so sorry, my Elsie."

"For what?"

He sighed. "Not being there sooner, not knowing, not taking all this extra work off of you. I should've been doing so much for you and instead I was in London…"

"Oh Charlie you needn't feel sorry for all that." She rubbed her nose against his.

"But I should've known…"

"How could you when I didn't!" She laughed.

"It- it just hurts me…it…it makes me feel like I failed you."

"Oh Charlie Carson the last thing on earth ya could ever do was fail me!" She cried.

"You don't know how overwhelmed I am to hear that." He said, tears in his eyes. He was touched.

"Charlie I love you and I respect the choices you make so I will slow down, as you wish: when the garden party's over."

"But Elsie…"

"It's just one more day." She kissed his nose. "And the party its self is always a bit of a rest for me. I can relax, enjoy the fruits of my labor…"

He sighed. "Alright, but only if you rest. I couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to my girls."

"Your girls?" She smiled.

"Yes: you and the baby."

"You want a girl?" She blushed.

"Very, very much." He confided, leaning his forehead against hers.

…..

Several Days Later

"Mrs. Hughes?" Dr. Clarkson asked.

"Hmmm… what happened?" Elsie asked, opening her eyes wide as she looked up suddenly, surprised by her surroundings.

The last thing she knew she'd been walking around the party and now she found herself under a tent, laying back in a chair next to Lady Grantham who was spending the party convalescing, recovering from her near miscarriage several days before. Elsie's heart began to pound when she realized she was there with her, Cora staring back with loving concern in her eyes. Charlie and Dr. Clarkson were both there as well.

"W-What happened?" She asked again, beginning to panic. Charlie took her hand.

"Mrs. Hughes." Dr. Clarkson began again. "Or can I use Mrs. Carson?" He whispered.

"If it's just my husband and Lady Grantham then yes, please, I'd prefer Mrs. Carson …how did I get here?" She asked desperately, feeling comforted when she realized her husband didn't seem too upset.

"Mrs. Carson I'm afraid you passed out." The doctor informed as Charlie kissed the top of her head.

"And they moved you here."

"Oh…and the baby?!" she was afraid but desperate to ask at the same time.

"As far as I can tell, the baby's doing fine. You are very lucky, but I want you to stay hydrated, keep off of your feet as much as you can. I told you this was delicate, you're pushing yourself much too far."

"But, for now, she's alright?"

"Just fine. For now. Lady Grantham's been generous enough to have you stay with her."

"Yes, please do." Cora begged.

"And I think it would be a good idea if you had some kind of snack, perhaps we can get Thomas to…"

"No, no." Carson laughed, not wanting Thomas upsetting her right then. "I know what she likes, I will get it."

"Charlie, the chocolate covered strawberries, please."

"Very well my love."

Dr. Clarkson left before Charlie returned, reassuring her that she and the baby were fine and leaving her alone with Lady Grantham.

"Mrs. Hughes." Cora said quietly as Daisy passed, not wanting to give her away by calling her Mrs. Carson.

"I'm so sorry m'lady about…"

"No, no." Cora soothed. "No. It's all right. I insisted that you come and sit with me."

Elsie was surprised when Cora reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. She couldn't help but show her shock, staring back for a moment, but then she accepted, squeezing her hand back.

"I figure." Cora continued. "That as long as the babies be friends, real friends, so should we. I mean who better to get through this with than each other."

"I-I'd like that m'lady."

"When we're alone, it can be Cora."

Elsie looked back in surprise again, wondering why she'd want this. "Only if I can be Elsie."

"Elsie it is."

Truthfully, Cora saw an opportunity in this friendship. She'd always liked Mrs. Hughes, and now that they were going through this very unique thing of having a baby at the same time, and at their age… well she just didn't think she could find another friend who had so much in common with her in these very important ways. She'd already experienced her share of disapproval from people about her being pregnant at this age and didn't like it. Robert had taken a little time to approve of the idea of this new friendship, but he had. Mary didn't understand it (even though she loved Carson) and the whole idea of her mother befriending Mrs. Hughes made Sybil feel both hopeful and delighted.

"I hear congratulations are in order Carson." Mary whispered, coming up beside him as he was filling a plate of the chocolate strawberries for Elsie.

"What do you mean m'lady?" He asked, carefully checking to see that no one else was around.

"Mama told me. Don't worry its just me who knows." She kissed Carson's cheek, he seemed bewildered for a moment, but then understood suddenly when she whispered: "You'll make a wonderful Daddy, Carson I've always thought so."

"Thank you m'lady." He whispered. He went back to Elsie, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

"Thank you love." Elsie smiled warmly when he came and kneeled beside her.

"I'm so relieved you're alright."

"So am I." She beamed.

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Patmore asked, rushing up to Elsie, Daisy in tow.

They'd been in the house when she fainted and rushed out to find out what happened as soon as they could. Soon Anna, Bates, William, O'Brian and Gwen were all gathered around them, eager to know what had happened. None of them said it but they were also dying to know why she was lounging in Lady Grantham's tent with her and why Carson was sitting there beside her, feeding her strawberries.

"It seems like a good a time as any." Carson said suddenly.

Cora listened carefully kind of amused by the fact that none of them seemed bothered by her presence. In an odd way, she liked being treated so casually by the servants; it seemed more normal somehow, at least momentarily.

"I suppose you're right. You start." She told him.

"The truth is Mrs. Hughes and I have something to tell you all." Carson said, taking his wife's hand.

"That I'm not Mrs. Hughes." She smiled.

"No she's not, not at all."

"Then who are ya?" Daisy asked, her mind racing.

"It's Mrs. Carson." Elsie informed and they all gave a collective gasp.

"How long have you been keeping this from us?" Thomas asked.

"Since longer than you've been at this house." Carson cleared his throat.

"B-but what about from me?" Beryl was hurt.

"We hid it for a very long time." Elise confessed. "I'm sorry if it hurts any of you; but we really had our reasons for keeping this private, but now we have a reason ta tell you." She squeezed Charlie's hand.

"It's also the reason she passed out."

"Which is?!" Mrs. Patmore asked anxiously.

"I'm going to have a baby!" Elsie beamed.

Anna and Mrs. Patmore were instantly excited and got down to hug Elsie.

"So." Thomas whispered to O'Brian. "When should I expect you to start eating from trees?" Her eyes widened, amazed he'd recalled her 'if she has a boyfriend, them I'm a giraffe' comment from over a year before.

"This is such wonderful news, a baby downstairs too!" Mrs. Patmore squealed.

"Yes, we're very happy for you." Bates smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Bates." Carson accepted.

"Now listen. Anything you need me to do, just say the world!" Beryl added. "I know I musta been a horrible burden to ya and I'm sorry. But now that my sight is restored I'll do yar extra work, and make you whatever you like and..."

"Oh that's very kind Mrs. Patmore."

"Really, anything, any time, just ask."

"Same with me." Anna smiled.

"Me as well." Daisy added. She was impressed with herself in that moment. She never considered herself very intelligent, or worldly, but she'd figured out, two weeks prior that something life-altering had happened to Carson and Mrs. Hughes and she'd been correct.

"What is going on here?" Robert raised an eyebrow as the crowd of his downstairs staff begun to disperse. He got down on his knees and kissed his wife on the cheek.

"We beg your pardon, m'lord." Carson said quickly, hoping it everyone wouldn't feel the need to say it now that he had.

"Robert everyone's just found out about the Carson's baby." Cora informed.

"Oh!" He understood, smiling suddenly. "Congratulations again. Are you alright Mrs. Carson? I heard about your fainting spell."

"Yes, yes, quite alright m'lord, thank you."

"M'lord! M'lord!" Thomas called, running quickly toward the tent. He'd left the gathering after teasing O'Brian, only to be given a message for Lord Grantham when he reached the driveway.

"Thomas, what is it?" They all looked up, alarmed.

"A message." He said, out of breath. "M'lord."

Robert opened the sealed message, sorrow immediately evident in his widening eyes. He swallowed nervously, not addressing his wife or servants and ran out into the midst of the party, calling everyone to attention.

"My lords, ladies and gentlemen." He called, his face falling. "I very much regret to inform you: we are at war with Germany."