'This is…'
'Serene.'
Izuku saw Blake out in the distance of Beacon's School Grounds and, having so recently finished The Modern Sage, he thought it might be a great opportunity for the two to sit down and discuss the book like they'd discussed the last one. The last discussion, while it had indeed been heavy, had actually been really engaging and he was looking forward to another one. However, as Izuku approached Blake he came to realize two things; one was that Blake didn't actually seem to be awake. The second…
'I don't think I've ever seen her be this relaxed.'
The girl was sprawled out, her own copy of The Modern Sage resting on her stomach as she laid in the direct light of the sun, broken up only slightly by the trees over head. Her body seemed to stretch a bit, as if trying to get in as much of that warm sunlight as possible. The wind caused her bow to flutter a few times as she... well, Heck, there was no better word for it than 'lounge'. It was actually really amusing; Blake looked like a house cat doing her best to try to sit in as much of the sun as possible while taking a nap.
'Hmmm... maybe this isn't the best time to bother her? She seems to be really into this whole thing and it'd be really rude to wake her up. Heck, I know if I was sleeping as well as Blake is at this particular moment, I'd wake up feeling slightly annoyed at having such a great nap interrupted. Besides-'
"You know, some people think it's weird for people to just randomly stand nearby and watch them nap."
'Yeah, exactly that! So maybe…'
...
"AH, BLAKE!" Izuku jumped back in the air as amber eyes opened up to meet his own emerald ones, Blake sitting back up as she shook her head out slightly with a slight yawn. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, I was probably-"
"Not being all that noisy. Trust me on this one, I'm a light sleeper. The second you walked up I was pretty much awake." Izuku curiously tilted his head to the side.
"If you'd prefer, I could go." Blake just shook her head as she gave another short yawn.
"It's alright. Moment's gone anyway..." Indeed, even as the two of them spoke the sun's trajectory across the sky continued and, as it set, the light that had shone down on Blake's spot began to distance itself. He could almost swear that Blake's bow drooped for a moment before the black haired young woman turned her attention back Izuku's way. "Besides, this is actually some pretty great timing; I came out here to finish reading The Modern Sage and I did. I was thinking about looking around to see if you were free but... well, then the sun hit and I was feeling pretty comfortable." He chuckled slightly as he scratched at his cheek.
"So I guess I saved you the trouble of finding me then." Izuku heard Blake snort slightly as she combed a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Not that it'd be that hard for me at this point..." Izuku heard her mutter underneath her breath. Before he could ask what she meant, he saw her catch sight of his own copy of The Modern Sage. "I take it you've finished it too?" Izuku nodded as he took a seat across from Blake.
"Yeah I did, just yesterday too actually. It's why I was looking for you." Blake smiled as he scratched at the back of his head. "I have to admit, this one was also pretty heavy of a read. Not quite as bad as I remember The Man With Two Souls as having been but... yeah, definitely not an uplifting story." Izuku saw Blake chuckle slightly as she shrugged.
"I don't think it should surprise you that my taste my run a bit deep into the more thoughtful, dramatic books... though I guess there should be a limit to that." She said, with a casual shrug, as if it was a mere passing thought than something she considered too seriously, before lifting the book back up. "But, yes, this is another story in that vein. I enjoyed it but... well, not in the usual sense." Izuku nodded, ready to allow Blake to have her own two cents on the book before moving into the discussion, just like last time.
"... It's probably no surprise that I've had big dreams myself. I think most of us would be lying if we didn't say that we didn't have huge aspirations or world-changing dreams. Heck, you 'still' do Izuku." She didn't say it in an accusatory manner, more as a gentle prodding accompanied by a friendly smile, before her eyes turned downcast as they return to the book. "But... not everyone holds onto dreams that are quite as... pure as just wanting to be a great hero and saving everyone from The Grimm. Even those that might be noble... might not be pursued through noble means." Izuku watched as Blake cracked open the book and flitted through to the ending.
"The author... well, she's a bit odd on this point. Throughout the entire book, Victor's ambition and his desire to meet that goal is what ends up ruining his life and the lives of those people around him, people innocent of his own crimes and who had nothing to do with any of the harm he caused. His dream of conquering death, of humanity never having to fear that again... well, your own thoughts may vary, but I do think that's a good dream. That parents might never have to be separated from their children again... but the way he goes about it and then his... cowardice." Blake settled on that word firmly. "His 'cowardice' in not accepting the consequences of his actions... you'd think the author would be trying to spell out a lesson that we shouldn't overstep our bounds..."
"But the entire book has this very Romantic notion built into it..."
"Errr, romantic?" Izuku blushed slightly at that as Blake just chuckled and shook her head.
"No Izuku, Romantic as in 'Big R' Romantic. Like... being astounded by the beauty of nature, enamored by the human spirit, being thrilled by the universe, that kind of Romantic." Izuku nodded in understanding as Blake looked back down at the book. " The book made such a point of underlining that, of the wonders of exploration and discovery... and the end. Rather than be fully sorrowful of his own actions and advising the captain he's speaking to about turning away from his course to save his men... he tells him to go forward, even knowing the consequences of his own unbridled determination to accomplish his goals... it seems like the book's trying to have it both ways…"
"I just... don't know. Are dreams still worth it if you've done things to sully them? Is the pursuit of a noble goal... is that enough to justify 'anything', even Victor's actions or the actions of the captain in risking the lives of the men on his expedition? And the Monster itself... you could read a lot into that. Something that's not necessarily evil itself but is made evil by how people react to it..." Blake ran her hands up the spine of the book. "I know that you believe in your dreams Izuku, and they're noble... heck, you're probably going to see them through... but I dunno. I think most of u... most people would probably end up like Victor here. Blinded by their own vision of what the future could be like, unable to see what they're doing in the moment for what it is. I can appreciate Romantic ideals... but... well, I can't agree with the author that those ideals survive in the environment the book creates for us. It just doesn't seem to match."
"Hmmm... while I agree that Victor did wrong, I don't necessarily think it was because his dream blinded him to his actions. I think that was baked into who he was as a character; Victor thought he was infallible." Blake nodded slightly as she leaned up against the tree just behind her, the young woman waiting patiently for Izuku to finish his thoughts, same as last time. "While his intentions and ideals were well-meaning, he essentially made himself the judge, jury and executioner of his own will. Thus his creation was also a result of all of his own desires and inadequacies. The monster ended up more like him than different; it was brilliant, but it also shirked the responsibilities for its own actions and thought itself always in the right. For good or bad, that is an essential part of human nature; whatever we put into something, we get out of it."
"I think his other shortcoming was putting this all entirely on his shoulders. While it is true everyone has to make their own decisions and ultimately face the consequences, this doesn't necessarily have to be alone. Victor wanted to move humanity forward, but the result was stained by his own shortcomings because of the tunnel-visioned way he followed his dream. While he wanted to help, he despised the fact others regarded his dream as impossible or dangerous. While aiming for advancement, he also wished to show all the naysayers how wrong they were. All of that corrupted the end result he created."
"And when he was facing that adversity, all the dark sides and flaws of his own character and methods mirrored in his creation - he couldn't stand the sight and shied away from it. The monster didn't match what he wanted to create and instead of facing that reality and trying to deal with it, he distanced himself from it. He rejected the responsibility and gave in to his base instincts, despite having given his creation a life and thus a momentum of its own. He kept his creation captured, he tried to keep it secret, denied it and most of all feared it... and in return his creation lashed out at everyone and everything for that, leading to the spiral of hate and violence that ended up destroying Victor's life and hurting the people around him. Only in the end, when Victor finally takes responsibility for his actions and for his creation, even if it threatens his own well-being, the horror stopped and the road to reconciliation was opened." Izuku took a moment to scratch at his chin as he tried to gather up the remainder of his thoughts.
"I think the author didn't really want to give a general warning about following a dream larger than life. Her message is more that, while any dream is possible, the means to achieve it will shape the result. A good cause has to be brought upon by good actions. Victor was a desperate man who aimed for shortcuts and immoral actions, deciding the noble end justified the means - with the consequence of his dream turning into a travesty of what he intended it to be. But in the end, that shouldn't keep people from dreaming, just teach us to be more cautious and responsible in how we, together, should shape those dreams into a reality." Blake looked down at the book, a few thoughts crossing her eyes as she took in his ideas on the matter.
"... Izuku... I like the idea of what you're saying but... just because you try to tackle a big dream with people, doesn't mean that dream still won't end up corrupted by the worst parts of yourself... or the worst parts of others." Izuku watched as Blake ran a hand up through her hair, flinching as it reached her bow. "Working together, in unison, to try to achieve your dreams... it sounds like a great idea. It sounds like it should be something where everyone links arms and moves forward with a common purpose. But... people are still people Izuku. We all have something in us like what Victor has... and I doubt putting five Victors in a room together would've changed the results of his work." Blake's hand slowly snaked down from her hair as she placed it back down onto the book.
"Even then... when the dream's corrupted, even if you're moving toward it with people you might want to trust... is it worth it anymore? If it's been changed by the worst in you, is it even the dream you meant to pursue anymore?" Blake smiled, somewhat sadly, as she looked up at Izuku. "Besides... for someone who talks about how people need to work together to achieve their dreams, surely you can acknowledge the slight irony in holding to that view... and viewing Toshinori Yagi with such reverence, right?" Izuku swallowed a bit at that as Blake looked off toward Mountain Glenn.
"People say that Toshinori Yagi couldn't have saved Mountain Glenn by himself. That the Hunters there helped him... and to some degree, there's sense in that. Toshinori Yagi couldn't be everywhere in that town at once to save everyone... but the fact remains that it was only Toshinori Yagi who had the power to save Mountain Glenn that day. No other Huntsmen or Huntresses going into that town would've lived, much less rebuffed the destruction of Mountain Glenn. The man's power, his charisma... it alone holds up the image of The Symbol of Peace and Hope, and allows for this era we live in... he's the force behind his own dream, his own vision." Blake's hand stroked the cover of the book again.
"Victor's dream... the author goes a ways towards saying, here and there, that Victor was meddling in the Gods' domain. That only the Gods had the power to decide life and death... that there was some folly in pursuing it in the first place. The author wasn't alive to see Toshinori Yagi... but... maybe she would've seen that as a validation of her point. That only the people with power like that have the ability to truly shape and pursue such grand dreams... Peace, Love, Hope and Life..." Blake sighed as she clenched her fist slightly against the book. "Even if we all got together to work on it... how could we trust our own vision wouldn't be corrupted... or how can we trust that those we put our faith in won't corrupt that vision in return."
"For the same reason that Toshinori Yagi is the Symbol of Peace. For the one thing that the Monster never had from others... trust."
Blake's gaze rose from the cover of the book to meet his emerald ones... he couldn't be sure but, vaguely reflected in her amber ones, he could see a look of determination on his face. It was something he'd felt strongly about; Blake's words had left a bit of an impact on him... and it was clear it was because the book had left some kind of impact on her. How or why wasn't clear at all, but in that moment, Izuku felt the need to respond to her word; words that seemed hopeless.
After all, what kind of Future Symbol of Peace would he be if he didn't answer despondence with hope?
"A vision, any vision, can be corrupted. People can be corrupted. Whole organizations can be corrupted. When a vision, a person or a group trust blindly, or narrow their perspective so horribly that they obscure anything and everything else that might stand to add to their vision, it becomes an almost certain prospect that one's vision, that person or a whole group will be corrupted." Izuku combed a hand through his messy hair as he organized his thoughts. "You're right that five Victors in the same place wouldn't have changed the outcome... but that's because that wasn't what Victor needed most. He didn't need five others exactly like him. What he needed was people that have their own point of view, who trusted their own moral compass enough so that they could show him his own errors and be willing to stand up for what they thought was right. He needed people he could trust enough to understand their reservations, so that he could take those reservations into account and not just do what he pleased. In the end that was the major crux of his folly; he made a man from the dead because it pleased him to do so, he rejected that man because what he made didn't please him, and that arrogance is what started the whole tragic spiral."
"It probably sounds really strange coming from me of all people but... well, without trust, even Toshinori is just a really strong hunter. He isn't The Symbol of Peace because he stands so far above all of us in terms of power. It's because he earned the trust of the people that he's become a Symbol, because he used his power to 'earn' the trust of the people. I mean, think about it; if he wanted to, he could probably demolish an entire city before anyone could consider stopping him. There's no way anyone could stand up to him if he ever got that idea in his mind... and yet nobody seems to take this into consideration when they think about Toshinori. Because people trust him enough to not be terrified of his strength. Not because of his charisma, but because he's put in the effort to prove he is compassionate and isn't going to abuse his gift." Something the two of them had discussed previously, something Izuku himself would have to wrestle with as the 9th User of One For All.
"Besides, I don't accept the notion that only people with power have the ability to shape destiny or to enforce their dreams on the world. If who lived and died was solely in the hands of the Gods and those with that kind of power, then there wouldn't be Huntsmen at all. We all work together for our own vision, because working together makes us strong enough to have peace, hope, and life. Even now, even if Toshinori is the Symbol of Peace, we don't follow his example blindly; some people do criticize him and some people do wonder why he makes the choices he does... and that's okay. Even if we can trust that he'll always do right by us, it's okay to not just accept everything. That just leads to fanaticism and ruin." He couldn't help but chuckle again. "Though, again, I realize that probably doesn't mean much at all coming from my own mouth, considering how much I idolize the guy..." Despite Izuku's self-deprecation, Blake didn't move in to build on that. Instead she was still just listening intently, her amber eyes somewhat wide in surprise.
"Anyway... the bottom line is that people can put the worst of themselves in a dream, like you said, but people can put in the best of themselves in it too. The real problem is if there's no temperance, no caution or even basic compassion, then even putting the best of yourself into something can still make it monstrous. Without trust and effort to keep on the right path, it all comes apart. Don't trust without thinking, don't let blind trust be a force that can take you off the path you know is right... but be willing to trust. Else there's no path forward for us at all."
There was a moment of silence between the pair of them as he laid that out. Blake's amber eyes return to their normal, even state, the gears of her mind clearly whirring at one-thousand miles per hour behind them. It was a slow movement, Izuku noticed, as Blake's eyes slowly moved down from Izuku's face, to his shoulder and down to his arm. For a moment, he was confused as Blake stared at his hand for a long moment... but then a moment of clarity struck him as he watched her eyes fall back over his shoulder.
Back to the Emerald Forest.
Back to when she had put her trust in Izuku along with Pyrrha and Tenya. Back to when Izuku had placed his trust in their abilities. Back when Izuku had failed... and so moved to do what he could to make up for that failure.
"You know... that's pretty saccharine there Izuku. A lot of people might think you were just saying what sounded right to say..." Izuku flinched slightly, prepared to defend his opinion... until he saw the cool smile on Blake's face as she turned back to look at him. "But... given that you practice what you preach, I can't exactly just shoot down what you're saying, huh?" Izuku watched as she combed a strand of hair behind her ear again as she looked back down at his right arm. "Trust, hmmm..." He saw a hesitation there for Blake, a deeply borne one... but she just sighed and gave that small quirk of her lips that he'd come to signify as her smile. "Sounds like your dream will never go off path like Victor's..."
"Well of course it won't... I have a lot of friends that I can trust to make sure it won't." It was weird to see Blake flinch at the blunt proclamation... but she just nodded nonetheless.
"Sorry if this one got a little bit heavy... honestly, after we discussed Man With Two Souls, I wasn't sure if we'd read something quite the heavy again... I was a little surprised when you picked out The Modern Sage, given its reputation." He just chuckled nervously as he scratched his cheek.
"Well... I just knew it was a really famous novel was all... plus those monster movies..." Blake shook her head, somewhat exasperated, though there was still some clear amusement.
"Of course..." Blake brought a finger up to her chin as she took a moment to think. "Well... I'll try to think of some books that I haven't read that don't have a reputation for being quite so heavy. Much as I might like dramatic stories, I think I'm ready for a bit of a lighter read." Izuku saw Blake shake her head with a sigh and he chuckled a bit.
For several minutes after, Izuku and Blake just discussed a few other things about the book. As the sun continued its arc across the sky, Izuku couldn't help but sigh in some relief as the air rapidly cooled. It seemed Blake felt it too if her reaching her hands up for her bare arms was any indication... though she didn't seem to be shivering.
"Well it was great Blake, and I'm really looking forward to doing this again!" Izuku said calmly as he smiled at her, the young woman just nodding absentmindedly as he turned on his heels to leave. He didn't end up making much progress however as, suddenly, Blake called out to him.
"Izuku."He stopped short as he turned to look at her curiously, though his expression changes to surprise as he saw the frown on her face and the uncertainty. "You... meant it before, right? That you think of me as a friend?" That... kind of threw him, to be honest.
"Err... yeah Blake, of course I did. What's up?" Izuku saw hesitation was clear on Blake's expression... hesitation and, weirdly enough, embarrassment. It was hard to tell at first as he didn't think he'd ever seen Blake shamefaced or thrown off her footing before but... well, there was no other fitting description for that look.
For a few seconds, the air just hung still, Blake just stewing in her embarrassment, and Izuku, trying to process that she was. Still, as the sun seemed ever more likely to finally all beneath the tree, he finally spoke up.
"Blake... whatever's on your mind, you know you can trust me." After the conversation the two had, Izuku had hoped that Blake, someone he considered a friend, did in fact trust him. He saw Blake stiffen a bit at his words, her amber eyes nervously glancing his way before trailing back down to his right arm again. She sighed, muttering something or other underneath her breath, before she took a moment to close her eyes and think. It doesn't take long before one of her hands releases her bare arms to rub the bridge of her nose, the other patting the ground a ways in front of her.
"Sit down Izuku... there's something I should've told you about by now." Izuku blinked, feeling at once surprised that Blake had actually stepped up to talk about whatever it was and pleased that, apparently, she did trust Izuku enough to speak about it. He slowly worked his way over to a tree in front of her and took a seat, a curious look on his face as he waited for Blake to speak up. The waiting... went on for a little while as Blake just sat in her spot, her hands nervously fiddling and tearing at some grass around her as she looked down at the ground. At first he was willing to wait, knowing that whatever it was must be hard for Blake to get out. As minutes stretched by, however, he couldn't help but wonder if Blake lost her nerve somewhere in the middle of the wait. He opened his mouth to reassure Blake again but the black haired young woman just raised a single finger to shush him, and he just snapped his mouth shut and continued to wait. It took another minute or two before Blake just sighed and shook her head, running one of her hands through her bangs as she looked up at Izuku.
"Izuku Midoriya... do you know my secret? Please, be honest with me, I have to know." He blinked a few times at the seriousness of the question Blake asked, the barely concealed panic behind her amber eyes even as she tried to keep an even expression on her face. It was actually kind of cool looking, to be honest...
It made him kind of wish he knew what she was talking about to begin with.
"Secret?" Izuku squeaked out, slightly unnerved by the look she had given him. He saw Blake flinch, just for the slightest moment, as her eyes narrowed and stared even more intently at him. He felt the pressure but he didn't feel the need to look away or look off to the side. After a few moments... Blake just looked completely mortified as she slowly brought her hands up to her face, presumably to hide the bit of red he'd seen slipping onto her cheeks.
"Oh Gods... you really never even knew in the first place. I'm 'actually' some kind of idiot..." There was a small part of him that was actually kind of amused to see Blake Belladonna, of all people, hiding behind her hands and shaking her head in embarrassment, almost like a shy little kid who just did something silly and now wanted to hide from the world. Still, given how serious Blake has been about the entire conversation, he couldn't help but feel equal parts worried.
"Blake, what is this about? Did I do something wrong?" Blake peeked out at him from in between one of her fingers. Her amber eye just stares for a long moment before, finally, Blake dropped her hands and shook her head.
"No, no... you didn't do anything wrong Izuku. I don't know if you remember or not... probably better that you don't, but during the first week of school there was... one time out of the few where we ran into each other where... well..." Blake scratched at her arm slightly as she looked off to the side. "I'd rather not say entirely what happened during the run in because I don't 'want' to have you remember the details, but suffice it to say... I thought you ended up knowing a pretty big secret of mine by the end of it." Izuku blinked in surprise. He knew one of Blake's secrets? That was a laugh; he really didn't know much about Blake at all, in all honesty, aside from what the two had discussed before... and that had been in vague terms. It was no surprise that she might've had a secret though; Blake seemed like that she had a few under her belt.
"A big secret? How big are we talking here?" Blake seemed to hesitate, the girl's hands twisting in the grass slightly, as if she were anchoring herself to the very ground as a means of keeping her from running off.
"... Big, let's just say. And 'no'-" Izuku flinched back a bit at the serious look in her eyes, one that was borne half of worry and panic and half of an 'attempt' to look authoritative, "-I 'really' don't want to talk about what my secret is Izuku." That's a pretty 'firm' no. Not even Weiss, as upset as she was after their spar, chilled him as much to the bone with a look as Blake did. That was absolutely, positively a non-starter with Blake.
"Yeah Blake, no, I understand. Don't even worry about it." Blake seemed to watch him like some kind of predatory animal for a moment before she relaxed, an audible sigh of relief as she seemed to really believe he wouldn't dig into it. "Why would you think I know it anyway?" Blake went back to looking down at the side, again twisting the grass in between her fingers as she took a moment to think.
"... Like I said, I'd rather not remind you of the details, but... let's just say I opened my big, stupid mouth and thought I'd let slip my big, egregious secret for you, someone I barely knew at the time, to know. I just ran off without even checking, so sure that I'd tipped my hand so badly that of 'course' you'd have to know... but no. That was just me making an ass out of myself by assuming things... and I... kind of panicked when I'd assumed that now you had a big secret to hang over my head." He couldn't help but flinch back and shake his head.
"Blake, I wouldn't do something like that to you! Even if we barely knew each other, after what we went through in the Emerald Forest, I wouldn't blackmail you or anything!" Blake frowned slightly as she looked down.
"I know that 'now' of course, and even then I might've expected you wouldn't blackmail me... but... I knew you were big on doing the right thing Izuku. You wanted to be some kind of Hero, and you showed you had the guts for it." Blake fiddled with her bow for a moment. "I thought... I thought that if you knew my secret, you'd turn me in. You'd tell people just because it would've been the right thing to do." Izuku swallowed a bit; well, that was a big secret then.
"O-Oh..." Izuku mumbled slightly as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "So, you said you didn't want to talk about your secret but... well... then what 'did' you want to tell me Blake? That you suspected me of all this?"
"... Gods this is going to be so bad..." He heard Blake mumble as she shook her head. "No... you see... I thought that if you'd either blackmail me or try to report me, that I'd need... something to convince you not to do that. Something that would make you not want to either blackmail me or tell anyone, or something like that. I needed leverage... but I really didn't know anything about you." He blinked and nodded; he understood Blake's logic, she needed some kind of counterweight against him if she really thought he had something big on her. Still, he didn't quite know what she was-
"SoIstartedstalkingyou."
"... Huh?"
While Izuku had been wracking his brain, Blake had taken a few deep breaths and, on the third one had just let out a stream of words that had run together so quickly that it took him a moment to piece together what exactly Blake had said. Once he had... well, his expression had gone quite deadpan while Blake, once again, hid her face behind her hands.
"I... started to stalk you in my free time. Whenever I thought I could get away from my team without them worrying too much or when I had finished work, I'd slip away and try to see if I could... observe you and try to figure out if you had any big secrets you were keeping from everyone. I needed... no, I 'thought' I needed leverage against you, so I'd just spy on you from time to time to see if I could find anything out." For a moment, sheer panic rose in his chest as his eyes momentarily went wide in realization. In that moment, he was glad that Blake was hiding behind her hands, because she would've seen him on the verge of a freak out. Over what?
One For All.
Blake could've been in on one of his conversations about his Semblance... or, worse yet, might've snuck in to overhear or oversee his training with Toshinori! His biggest secret, the thing he was supposed to keep safe, might've been blown before he even knew it! Is that what Blake wanted to talk about?
"And... I didn't..." He was snapped out of his growing panic as Blake speaks up again, the girl dropping her hands into her lap as she stared down at the ground. "No, no that's not entirely true... I did find something out... but it wasn't some secret that I could use to counter you with. I found out that the guy that I was stalking and trying to blackmail into keeping quiet about a secret I thought he knew... was just... really nice. A good person. Someone who worked hard, way harder than anyone could've asked him to, and that he tried his best to be all the things he needed. A good leader, a good student, a good friend..." Blake shook her head. "Someone with so little guile... and, after a while, I figured no secret."
Blake looked up at him, and he was very grateful that her words had put him at ease that she hadn't seen his panicked expression. "Then... we talked last week about The Man With Two Souls... and just through that talk, you opened up about something you 'did' regret, something people might've considered a secret... something they'd want to keep to themselves. About how badly you felt you treated your mother... and I realized that if you really ever did have something like that... that you wouldn't hide it. Not like me." Blake sighed as she looked off to the side again. "So... I stopped stalking you after that... but I still felt so bad. Someone who considered me a friend, someone who wanted to spend time around me to just... have fun and talk books... I'd tried to peer into their personal life to pull out... let's be frank, blackmail." Blake practically spat the word out.
"I felt guilty but... I didn't want to say anything about it at first. I didn't want you to know that I was stalking you... but I felt guilty. Really guilty. I'd done something bad to a friend and after a while... well... here we are." Blake pulled her knees up to her chest. "I didn't want to tell you at first because I there'd be no way I could talk about it without keying you into the fact that I had a secret. But... well, here we are." Blake sighed as she shook her head.
"I can't ask you to forgive me, this was... really awful of me to do. I just... I just wanted you to know the truth. You of all people deserve that."
Izuku took a deep, steadying breath as he tried to contain that panic had erupted in him following Blake's initial reveal of her stalking. No, she didn't know about One For All or anything involving Toshinori. Heck, as far as she was concerned, he had no secrets and any secrets he might have he'd be open about. That... was a somewhat depressing thought in and of itself, considering the truth, but there would be time to deal with that later... waaaay later, in his mind. For now, he had to deal with the now; Blake's stalking, her self-evident guilt and shame over it and how he'd respond to it. She had said that she felt she 'couldn't ask you to forgive her, but well, in his mind... no harm had been done, right?
"Blake... you really don't need to ask for forgiveness." Blake raised her head up from her knees, a look of surprise evident in her amber eyes. "I mean... no harm, no foul right? You stopped on your own, you didn't end up actually doing anything to hurt me like trying to blackmail me... and hey, I even made a good impression. While your reasons... well, I have something to say about that, I can't really be angry about something that hasn't actually wounded me in anyway. So you don't have to ask for forgiveness Blake; I'm more than willing to just move on." Blake's silent for a moment, still obviously thrown by that display... though he was surprised when a chuckle escape her lips, the young woman just placing a hand softly against her forehead as she did so.
"... I guess I should've expected this. If you can still call someone like Katsuki 'Kacchan' after everything he's said and done 'just' in the time we've known him..." For a moment he thought that Blake was deriding him but, to his pleasant surprise, when she removed her hand and looked back up at him, there was a smile on her face. "Thank you Izuku... you're something else, you know... you're too kind." There was an odd way she said that last part, one that both seems genuinely impressed... but also very sad. He couldn't place exactly 'why' but, well, he'd heard the phrase before and known it to be complimentary, so...
"Well thanks Blake, but really, I don't think forgiving a friend for something like this is too kind at all." There was an almost palpable relief on Blake's face as he still referred to her as a friend, though her expression dipped as he tried his best to get a little serious. "But Blake... as for stal-following people around for blackmail? You might have some explaining to do if you were to get caught without actually telling someone. So... maybe don't; I understand your secret's grave, but... well, there's gotta be a better way to handle it than maybe getting kicked out of Beacon." Blake nodded slightly as she wrapped her arms around her knees slightly.
"I know... but... well, it's kind of hard to think of a better way in the middle of all of it, Izuku." Izuku did his best to nod understandingly, though it was 'kind of' hard to actually fully understand her point without actually knowing her secret, before he spoke back up.
"Well... how about telling someone you really trust about it, then?" Blake looked up at him, a somewhat curious glint in her eyes as if asking after his meaning. "Not to me, I know you've already said you don't want to talk about it with me... but well, if you told it to someone you really trusted, maybe you'd feel better getting it off your chest? Knowing that someone you really trusted knew your secret and could have your back on it?" Blake looked down to the side as Izuku explained his point, her hand against trailing down to the ground to fiddle with the grass.
"That would be a nice thing to be able to do..." Blake muttered under her breath as Izuku smile.
"So you'll think about it?" The young woman returned her gaze to him and, for a moment, he thought he saw something just... despondent behind the amber orbs. Still, after looking at him for a moment Blake seems to just heaved a small sigh, smirked a little and nod.
"Yes Izuku, I'll... 'think about it'." Izuku couldn't help but grin a little as he got back on his feet, Blake soon following him up. After everything had been said and done... well, it ended up being another rather involved conversation with Blake. Still, one he was definitely glad they had. As the both of them walked back toward Beacon proper, a thought occurred in his mind as he turned to Blake.
"One last thing, Blake?" As much as he didn't need to have her ask forgiveness, Izuku did have to make sure that she didn't stalk him ever again; he'd nearly had a panic attack over the thought of her knowing about One For All, after all... plus the thought of a 'very' attractive girl having stalked him was also making his heart go into a bit of overtime. So as Blake nodded as she turned her attention back toward him, he felt his cheeks go a bit red as he coughed into his fist, his heart pounding somewhat in his chest. "You know, I never thought I'd hear someone tell me they were s-stalking me. Just please don't ever do it again; you almost gave me a heart attack."
Blake actually seemed somewhat surprised.
"Really? You seemed to handle it... well, better than I could've ever expected, to be honest. I wouldn't have taken it nearly as well. Why were you so panicked?"
"Well, I mean, just because I took it well didn't mean that I wasn't a little worried at first. I mean, I'm a normal guy after all-" With one of the biggest secrets in Remnant, "-so of course I'd have been a little spooked if anyone told me they were stalking me... let alone a pretty girl." That last part had been an almost subconscious admission on his part. Still, it was out there now and Izuku could 'definitely' feel his cheeks practically light themselves on fire as his face practically 'glowed' red from having admitted that. "Oh what did I just say I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that I mean of course you're attractive I didn't mean toimplyotherwiseohGodsjustgivemeashovelalready-"
"Izuku!" Blake shouted suddenly, snapping him out of his embarrassment as he turned to look at her, face still thoroughly red. Blake's own eyes are a bit wide, but aside from that she didn't seem nearly as embarrassed as him... perhaps a dusting of red on her pale cheeks but otherwise she seemed to be doing her best to keep it together as she reached up to comb a strand of hair behind her ears. "Right. Of course. I mean, it's only a natural thing for..." There was a moment where Blake's hand hesitated halfway over her ear, the dusting on her cheeks momentarily darkening before the stoic young woman pulled it back and finishes combing the strand behind her ear, "-that to be thought of." With that, Blake turned back to face toward the school. "I promise, no more stalking." He sighed in relief, both from the fact that Blake agreed to that and that she didn't seem to take his outburst personally. Izuku walked to follow in behind her and, though she still presented an air of cool calm, she did seem a bit stiff.
She'd... she'd really been putting this off long enough.
Like she'd been putting 'a lot' of things off, now that she thought about it. Blake Belladonna sighed as she nervously scratched at her arm, fidgeting in place as she stood outside of what had been assigned as Toshinori Yagi's 'office'.
'This is so stupid. '
'Just walk in there and ask for your book back. It's been 'weeks' if he didn't think it was weird you had that book, he'd think it was weird by now! You just had to go in there and ask for your book back! That's all it would take! I mean, what did you have to lose…'
'I mean, besides your self-respect. But why would you lose that, I mean, it was just... just…'
Blake sighed as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. It was smut. As much as she insisted differently to Yang whenever the blonde would bring the topic up, Ninjas Of Love was pure smut, plain and simple. It wasn't 'just' a book in that regard and that had been why she hadn't bothered to ask Toshinori Yagi about getting her book back in all these weeks; the idea of walking up to The Symbol of Peace and Hope himself and saying 'Hey, can I get my smutty book back, as you can tell I'm 'quite' lonely and I need it for when I go to sleep tonight, thanks' hadn't been an appealing thought for the black haired young Faunus 'at all'. If it was a normal book, the second she realized she had left it behind where Toshinori had surprised her and not found it, she would've done a lot of things.
She would've just walked straight up to him and asked for her book back.
She would've let him approach her any time after class, presumably when he was trying to return it.
She would've not acted like a total spaz and just got her book! But no, Ninjas Of Love wasn't a normal book so Blake had been so thoroughly ashamed that she'd spent weeks 'hiding from her book'. In moments like these... well, these were the moments that reminded Blake that she hadn't changed much at all. She was still running and hiding from her problems, no matter how big or how small they were. She'd put up a brave face of asking for her book back, take a few steps toward the office and then turn tail...
She wasn't brave enough...
Or at least, that's what was true before.
"Sit down Izuku... there's something I should've told you about by now."
She had told Izuku Midoriya, the boy whom she had been stalking during the time she had lost said book, that she had been stalking him. Her, Blake Belladonna, resident coward so afraid of letting any sign of her secrets slip, had somehow managed to gin up the courage to lay it all out for him; to tell him what she'd done, how ashamed she'd been and how she didn't deserve to be forgiven for doing that to one of her 'friends'. No, not 'friend', friend. Izuku had made that abundantly clear...
He'd made something else abundantly clear; the world wasn't out to get her for every little secret she had. As embarrassing or bad as some things might be, the world wasn't going to lift Blake Belladonna by her cat ears and shame her for every little thing she did wrong or that was slightly embarrassing. Now, Blake wasn't an idiot; stuff like her involvement with The White Fang? That went beyond the pale of even stalking someone to blackmail them...
But... but if she could trust Izuku Midoriya to tell him about how she'd wronged him and he still accepted her as a friend... well, maybe Toshinori Yagi wouldn't think too lowly of her for her taste in smut.
With that thought Blake Belladonna took a deep breath and, closing her eyes for a moment as she gathered up the last of her courage, stormed the next few steps, opened Toshinori's door, stepped inside and shut it behind her, cutting off her avenue of escape. Toshinori Yagi seemed to be breathing quite deeply in that moment and... well, she could swear there were slight traces of clouds floating away from him in the seconds after she'd pulled open the door so rapidly. She wrote that off as her imagination, though, as The Symbol of Peace just smiled at her and offered her a quick wave.
"Ah, Miss Belladonna, good to see you! What brings you to my office?" Blake swallowed nervously as she glanced around for a moment. There was a second or two where her courage threatened to fail her and she considered just turning around... but by that point that would raise far more questions than answers. So she just took a deep breath as she looked The Symbol of Peace in the eye.
"Ah, sir, Mr. Yagi-"
"AH, HA HA HA, HAAA! As I've said previously young lady, feel free to call me Toshinori!"
"Right, Toshinori, sir." Blake choked a bit before she shook her head. "I... I just came here because... well, do you remember our last meeting sir?"
"Ah yes, the one involving you stalking Mr. Midoriya! Tell me, have you made progress to confessing your little crush, young lady?" Blake sighed; if it weren't for the fact that she'd left her book with him, Blake would've been all too glad to forget the stupid rumor she'd helped to send on the rumor mill. Still, as a stray thought caught her mind, she shrugged.
"I... told him I was stalking him... and while he asked me to not do it anymore, he was... very nice about it." Toshinori just grinned as he gave a thumbs up.
"A step in the right direction! While it's slow progress, it's good that you're making such!" Blake inwardly rolled her eyes; she needed to get things back on track.
"Anyway... sir, umm... when I ran off, did I happen to leave behind a little black book?" Toshinori snapped to attention as he immediately reached into his desk and pulled out... HER BOOK!
"Ah yes, this? I had assumed this was yours and had looked to return it to you one day after class... however you seemed so nonplussed when it came to approaching me that I figured I may have been mistaken. This 'is' your book then, Miss Belladonna?" Blake blushed slightly as she grabbed at her other arm, tapping her foot into the floor slightly as she sought to rid herself of this nervous energy.
"Err... yes... that's... that's my book, sir. Listen, Toshinori, I can explain, about the book sir, I just want you to know that what it's about isn't-"
"Ah think nothing of it Miss Belladonna! I haven't read a single page of it!"
...
"What?" Blake seemed completely and utterly stunned as Toshinori just gave that signature laugh of his.
"Well of course! It would've been a horrible breach of student privacy if I had just read a book laying around!" Blake's shoulders drooped a bit as Toshinori spoke; Blake looked, hard as she could, for some sign of a lie... but there wasn't one.
He was telling the truth.
Blake didn't have a single thing to worry about... AGAIN!
"... I feel so stupid..." Blake pressed her face into her hands, her embarrassment stemming more from her own stupidity than any remaining teenage awkwardness that somehow survived in her system. Toshinori just smiled as he got up off his chair and walked around his desk, presenting the book to Blake.
"Miss Belladonna, I hope that this experience with Izuku and myself has taught a valuable lesson; while secrets can be valuable for the things that we might truly not want the world to now... hiding every little indiscretion and every little embarrassing thing about ourselves can only serve to keep us sheltered away from the things and people that we might desire. Whether they be books or other more important things." Blake turned her amber eyes back up to Toshinori as the man just grinned down at her. "I'm sure that part of the reason you've found it so easy to come to terms with and fancy Mr. Midoriya is because of this very thing; the young man wears his heart on his sleeve and is very upfront with people! He shares his dream and the conviction behind it and allows people in." Toshinori wagged his finger slightly as he gave Blake a sly grin. "If you're going to win his affections above the other girls in this school Miss Belladonna, you'll have to take lessons. Mr. Midoriya, after all, is quite an earnest person, and will respond well to an earnestly given confession in kind."
That time Blake really couldn't help but roll her eyes. The not-so-old man giving her that kind of advice... it was bizarre but, on some level, sweet. After all, she'd been the one to tell the lie that she liked Izuku in order to get out of that situation... for a moment, she had considered reneging on the lie... until she realized that, once she did, she'd have no reason to explain why she was 'actually' stalking Izuku in the first place.
Let that be one of those 'big' secrets Toshinori had been talking about.
"Well... how about telling someone you really trust about it, then? Not to me, I know you've already said you don't want to talk about it with me... but well, if you told it to someone you really trusted, maybe you'd feel better getting it off your chest? Knowing that someone you really trusted knew your secret and could have your back on it?"
Still, she couldn't deny that Toshinori was right about Izuku, she had thought with a smile while taking Ninjas Of Love from Toshinori's grasp. Earnest. That described Izuku Midoriya to a T. While passion, innocence, drive, heroism might've been others, Izuku Midoriya usually had a way of saying what he meant and meaning what he said... and for someone who'd grown up in the cold environment of The White Fang... yes. That had meant a lot to Blake.
"I mean, I'm a normal guy after all so of course I'd have been a little spooked if anyone told me they were stalking me... let alone a pretty girl."
Blake's cheeks had involuntarily gone red. Yes. Very earnest.
"Errr, thanks for the advice Toshinori, I'll be sure to take it into account, thank you!" Before Toshinori could interject Blake had quickly opened his office door and then ran right out, the giant of a man hearing her footsteps echo down the hall. Toshinori had waited until there was absolutely no sound or sign of Blake having remained nearby before exploding into a cloud of mist, his more skeletal form revealed. There was a slight frown on Toshinori's face, his brow furrowed as he rubbed at his chin, sweat dripping down his forehead.
"Brothers on a biscuit, so that really was her book huh? Gods above, that girl's a man-eater..." The stuff that had been in that book had surprised Toshinori. He knew kids these days were a little more... risqué than they had been back in his day, but Gods above, that book would find pleasant company in Kayama's selection of literature. Hell, he was fairly certain he'd 'seen' Ninjas Of Love in Kayama's shelves. The entire series, even! "Damn, what the Hell is Izuku going to do, kid's never even dated anyone before... hrmmm... should I give him some advice? This is going to be way too much for that kid to handle..."
Toshinori shuddered as he remembered the embarrassing spectacle of the 'last' time he'd tried to give Izuku a man-to-man talk. No thank you.
"Well... Izuku my boy, you're just gonna have to Plus Ultra your way through this one yourself. Good luck kid."
E/N: Normally I'd attribute the Outtake and who wrote it here, but the guy who wrote this one can do it himself for all I care.
-Shovern
A/N: And that would be me, haha. Yeah, been a while, but this was one of the first major 'in the moment' omakes I wrote for the series after the partner meetings one. I spend most of my time writing updates so writing side content like this didn't come up much before. That is until the and Wind and Shovern started editing, then I started writing more side content.
-gorilla_fingers