Chapter 3: Growing Up

As a member of ANBU Team Go, Yugao completed most of her missions with some or all of the members of her team. But every once in a while, special ANBU teams would be created from handpicked members of various teams, according to the mission specifications.

That is how Yugao found herself working once again under the leadership of Team Ro's Hatake Kakashi.

Arriving to the meeting spot perfectly on time, she was surprised, and she had to admit, slightly pleased, to find Tenzou would be part of the team as well. She recognized his red and green striped cat mask with its permanently startled expression. Beside him stood a tall man she did not recognize, with long dark hair and a mask shaped like a deer.

"Good morning, Yugao," the familiar wood user greeted her, his tone oddly light and relaxed. If they weren't in uniform, an onlooker would have guessed that they were just a group of friends meeting for tea. He turned to the man next to him. "Han, this Yugao, medical ninja of Team Go. Yugao, this is Han, he's also on Team Ro."

The man – Han – glanced at her and gave her a nod. She nodded back.

"Am I the only non-Team Ro member then?"

"I believe so. Thank you for joining us. Our medical-nin is away on a solo mission."

Yugao only nodded again. A solo mission for a medical ninja seemed like an odd allocation of resources, but Yugao knew it wasn't her place to be questioning the Hokage's decisions, even if she didn't always agree with them.

The three assembled ninja waited in silence for their captain because – of course – Kakashi was late. She had nearly forgotten about this annoying quirk, and silently thanked her regular team members for never having the audacity to waste each other's time.

"Is he always late like this?" she had to ask.

Tenzou shrugged and shifted his stance. "We're used to it."

Yugao could tell he was trying to appear nonchalant, but in reality must have been just as upset as she. Tenzou had always struck her as someone who played by the rules.

"If you know he's going to be late, then why do you still come on time?"

Tenzou's voice came out between clenched teeth, almost as a hiss. "Just in case."

She smirked beneath her mask. He was most definitely upset.

Kakashi made them wait an hour before he finally showed up with a casual, "Yo."

"Good morning senpai!"

Yugao glanced over at her companion, surprised at how quickly he had shifted gears when moments ago he had been seething.

"Our mission today is to go after an S-ranked missing-nin. Our goal is to capture him and bring him back alive."

"Alive?" Yugao retorted. "S-ranks are supposed to be killed on sight."

"Did I stutter?"

Damn. Still a jerk. Yugao bit her tongue.

"This team has been specially formed for the purpose of keeping this culprit alive," the silver-haired captain continued. "We have received reports that he has been spotted near a village not far from here, stealing food and supplies from villagers. Han and I will track him with my nose and Han's byakugan. Yugao, you'll restrain him with your hair, as well as provide medical assistance to the team. Tenzou, you'll capture him with your wood element. Understood?"

"Understood," came the three shinobi's voices, and they started heading towards the ANBU gates leading outside the village.

Han's byakugan, that must mean… "I didn't know there were any Hyuga in ANBU," she wondered aloud before she could catch herself.

Han merely fell in line next to her, thankfully not offended. "I prefer not to use my family's name," he explained quietly. Yugao nodded, her feelings of embarrassment quickly subsiding. "A technique that weaponizes your own hair, though," he continued, "I've never head of that before."

"It's something stunning to witness, if you're lucky enough to see it with your own eyes," came a voice from just ahead of them. Yugao tried not to act surprised. Did Kakashi just…compliment me?

"I look forward to it," Han said to her kindly. "Is it a hidden technique of Konoha?"

"No."

Yugao didn't mind the coldness that seeped out into her voice. She was proud of her technique, of course, but she didn't like to talk about where it came from. It had been her family's technique, and her family was all but gone.

Han didn't question her again, and they continued their journey in silence, taking off at a run once Kakashi decided on a direction.

There was no more time for small talk. They were on a mission, after all.

…

They had been searching all day, but to no avail. Each time Kakashi or his ninja dogs picked up the scent of their target, it was lost before Han could get close enough to find anything with his byakugan. The target seemed to be moving erratically, not because he knew he was being tracked, their captain concluded, but because something must have been wrong. In the years that he had been missing, he had never made it possible for himself to be tracked, but suddenly, even though his trail would be lost momentarily, he was leaving tracks all over the place. He had gotten sloppy.

Kakashi didn't seem to be concerned that they still didn't have a solid lead or location on the target. As night began to fall, he instructed Tenzou to set up camp.

Apparently, "camp" for Team Ro meant a small wooden house set conspicuously in the middle of the forest.

After a small meal, Yugao and Tenzou headed to the roof of the building, where they were instructed to hold first watch. As she looked up at the clear night sky, focusing her chakra on her still-developing sensory skills, she contemplated how calmly this team operated. Even with all the roadblocks they had encountered, there was no impatience, no frustration – an attitude they all seemed to adopt from Kakashi. Why was that? Did they both trust him that completely? Following your team captain's orders was to be expected, but in the end, only you were responsible for yourself – even Kakashi had made that clear.

There were no clouds that night, the moon a perfect slim crescent. In a few days, it would be gone, Yugao mused. Around their camp she sensed the small birds and mammals settling into their nests and burrows for the night, others – the nocturnal ones – preparing for the hunt, and a few meters away, her partner's gentle breathing. Nothing seemed amiss.

"How has your medical ninjutsu training been going?"

Tenzou's soft, low voice penetrated the silence of the night, and Yugao was pulled out of her thoughts. She turned to look at him, unsure of how to respond. They were still on duty, after all. During the few hours they had already spent silently on watch, they had been sitting with their backs to each other, but Yugao found that now Tenzou had shifted about ninety degrees to more easily face her. Yugao held her position.

"Are you sure you should be talking to me like this?" she called over her shoulder.

Tenzou shrugged. She noted that his hair had grown longer since they met, now down past his shoulders, almost as long as hers. "I just thought it would pass the time. If Kakashi-senpai asks me to build a house like this, it's usually because there's a very low threat level. But if you don't want to, I understand."

Yugao thought for a moment. It was true, there hadn't seemed to be any threat of danger, and they had received intel that the technique their target used – what they decided to call 'limited explosion release' – was most likely only effective in the daytime. She shifted so that they were sitting side by side, although still a couple meters apart.

"It's going well," she decided to answer.

He seemed to relax. "I'm glad. I know you didn't volunteer for it. If I had just had the aptitude for it, then you probably wouldn't have been burdened with it."

Yugao was surprised; he seemed genuinely remorseful. She looked straight ahead. "It's fine. Anyway, it's just another reminder that from the moment they are conceived, men depend on us women for their lives." She borrowed one of Kaya's lines, even though she was really only just starting to understand it.

Tenzou was quiet for a moment – she was afraid she might have offended him – and then

He laughed.

She turned to face him and saw his shoulders shaking slightly as he laughed behind his mask, quietly, and clearly, and so innocently. When was the last time she had made someone laugh?

"You're right," he finally said when he calmed down, sighing. "You're absolutely right. We would be lost without you. Yugao…you're so talented."

Her breath caught in her throat with a feeling she couldn't quite place, something akin to fear, even though she sensed no danger. Her head swam in confusion, and she dared to look at him again. "Why are you – "

Just then they heard a low whistle from inside the house – Kakashi's signal for the shift change. As the two young shinobi jumped down from the roof, their two seniors emerged from the front door.

"Nothing to report, senpai."

Kakashi merely grunted in response, and jumped up to the roof. Yugao wondered why Tenzou even bothered.

Inside, the wooden house was quite bare, just four plain wooden walls with no windows. But still, a roof over your head and an even surface to sleep on was a luxury for an ANBU. They unrolled their sleeping mats, another item they rarely got to use.

"Sorry, I can only make one room, kind of, for now."

Tenzou's head was hanging down. It occurred to Yugao that he might have been embarrassed, but for what, she couldn't tell. She was used to sharing spaces with the men on her team, used to having to keep her mask on during the short periods she had to sleep.

"Oh, but, I did manage this." He gestured towards the back corner of the room, and for the first time, Yugao noticed another door. She walked over and opened it to find a small windowless room with just a hole in the ground. A bathroom?

"Us guys usually just go wherever we want, but, I know, it might not be so easy for you, so, I figured…"

"You don't have to worry about me," she snapped back, "I can manage just as well as any man." She shut the door and turned to face him, aware of the sharpness in her voice, but when she saw him fidgeting awkwardly, she mentally kicked herself. He was just trying to do something thoughtful. Why was it so hard for her to accept that?

"I mean, thanks."

He seemed to relax. "No problem. Good night."

Even though a bit strange, it was, admittedly, a kind gesture. As she lay on her mat, she replayed his words and actions of the past few minutes in her head. Her mind burned with the question she had so nearly asked him before being interrupted by the shift change.

Why are you being so nice to me?

…

"Two o'clock. Four hundred meters. He's in a clearing."

Their target had stopped running, it seemed, and Han was able to pinpoint his exact location with the byakugan. He wasn't getting away this time, they all determined as they raced through the trees to the aforementioned clearing.

"Formation A."

Kakashi went charging ahead, with Han not far behind him. Tenzou and Yugao stayed back at their current pace, spreading out to the left and right of their older comrades.

The target had been expecting them, but it didn't matter. It was all going according to their plan. Kakashi went in first, knowing the missing-nin's explosion release would be weak against his water element. He stuck with mid-range combat, attacking with water in quick succession and blocking with earth, until he was able to create an opening for Han to block his chakra points. Then, Yugao and Tenzou would swoop in to restrain him.

It was simple. It should have been simple. But something was off. The man wasn't so much dodging Kakashi's attacks as he was flailing about erratically. His movements were quick, unpredictable, dangerous. And yet, Han had managed to get close. He hit all of his marks, every vital chakra point, but then –

BANG!

Explosion release. But his chakra was supposed to be blocked – How? –

Yugao's sharp eyes scanned the clearing. Kakashi was fine – surprised, but fine. Han had jumped back at the last second. He had still been caught in the blast but he was standing – barely. His mask was gone. He was holding his face.

No, not his face. His eyes. He was holding his eyes.

Yugao sprang into action, cutting around Kakashi who was back on the attack. Even though she was practically half his size, Yugao grabbed Han around the waist and half-ran with him, half-carried him out of the clearing. She had to get him a safe distance away before she could assess the damage. Kakashi and Tenzou should be able to hold off the target for now.

Laying Han down against the foot of a tree, she pried his hands away from his eyes. His mask had taken the brunt of the attack but his face was still severely burned and his eyes were red. She used water release to flush out his eyes, simultaneously sending in her chakra to sense out the damage. His eyelids were basically useless. His corneas were destroyed. She would have to mend them before they got infected. She could do it but she would have to be delicate. She would need time.

BANG!

Another explosion from the clearing. How long had it been? About three minutes from the first explosion? Ten minutes of continuous flushing. That was standard procedure. Then to repair the cornea. Then to treat the burns. But did she have that time?

"His chakra…" came Han's delirious voice between groans, "…It's like he had two types of chakra…I could only stop one…"

"Don't speak."

Yugao tried to sense what was going on in the clearing, but it was too difficult to do while maintaining water pressure. Tenzou and Kakashi could probably take him down, she knew, but to keep him alive – that was the hard part.

BANG!

Another three minutes had passed. A pattern. There was a pattern. He couldn't use his explosion release for three minutes after an attack. Had Tenzou and Kakashi caught on to this? They must have. But she couldn't think about them. She had to focus. Just a little longer, and she would be done rinsing out his eyes. She sensed someone coming from the clearing. Tenzou? Kakashi?

No.

It was their target. And he had seen her too.

Taking out the medical-nin was a common strategy, a clever one. And in this case, he would also get the man who tried to block his chakra. Two for one.

He started running.

If there was ever a time to panic, this would be it. With her hands occupied on their task, Yugao had no way to defend herself. She couldn't move Han and herself out of the way. She had to maintain contact, maintain water pressure. Even if she did risk his eyesight to stop treatment, with his weight, she wouldn't be able to get them both out of the blast radius in time. Or…

Or she could leave him. No one would blame her. All ANBU were prepared to die in combat. She could stay and the ANBU would likely lose two ninja, or she could leave him, sacrifice him, and only lose one.

She watched their enemy approach. Time was passing. Any second now and he'd be able to use his explosion release again. And she was directly in his path.

Any second now. She had to choose.

Stay and die, or abandon her comrade and live. Her eyes flashed to the helpless man in front of her, to the explosive enemy approaching.

Choose. Come on, choose!

A figure blocked her view. Tenzou – Tenzou had blocked the enemy's path.

BANG!

Yugao braced herself for the aftershock of the blast but it never came. She looked around her. Tenzou was still standing. The blast came from somewhere else, but how? And where was –

Kakashi?

She finished flushing out Han's eyes. Now she just had to repair the cornea, the burns could be treated later. Yugao hadn't had much practice on eyes. Usually, the cornea would end up repairing itself, but in this state, Han would catch an infection for sure. But this wasn't like healing skin or bones – one wrong move and Han would really end up blind.

The explosion-release user was back on his feet in the clearing he had created with his most recent blast. Yugao could see it now, with the smoke and debris cleared, not far to the northeast. Tenzou was there too, filling the clearing with large leafy trees, and Kakashi, trying to force the man under their shade. It must have been about three minutes, but the man hadn't used his explosion release yet. What was going on?

The sun! They had called it only a limited explosion release. He mainly attacked in the daytime because he needed the sun, perhaps as some way to recharge. If that was so, then keeping him in the shade was delaying his next explosion attack. But for how long?

Just then, Kakashi's voice came barking through the trees. "Yugao, Plan B! Ready?"

Plan B was in case Han couldn't block all of their target's chakra points. Yugao would have to restrict his movements with her hair and get in close enough to administer a sedative she packed in her medical supply scroll. But she wasn't finished with Han's eyes.

"I need time!" she called back.

"How much?"

"Four minutes!"

"He's gonna blow in two!

Dammit. This won't be perfect. "Two minutes then!"

She heard the sound of earth moving and breaking as trees burst forth to cover the sky from view, of kunai purposefully missing their mark just to drive their target into a corner. They were buying her time. Just a little more and –

"Yugao!"

She leapt to her feet. "Ready!"

"Now!"

They had driven him closer to her location, caught between close-set trees and walls of mud.

His skin. His skin was red.

Yugao quickly realized that he was about to escape his current predicament with an explosion, but before he could form any signs his hands were bound with tight purple strands. She summoned a syringe and plunged it into his neck. The color started draining from his face but his body was still moving, fighting against his restraints. She retreated and tightened her coils of hair. On any normal person, the sedative would have knocked them out almost immediately. But this man – this man was monstrous.

"Tenzou!"

"On it!"

Bursting from the ground came a solid wooden cell, closing around the man until only a small slit was left open around his eyes.

"Don't loosen your grip Yugao," came Kakashi's voice from somewhere behind her. "He shouldn't be able to get out of this one."

Her two teammates came into view, panting and sweating, but otherwise unharmed.

Suddenly, they heard a banging from inside the wooden cell. The sedative still hadn't taken complete effect. Even though his hands and feet were tied, he was still trying to throw his body against the walls of his prison.

"That bastard!" came a pained cry from within the cell. "He left me, that bastard!...I'll kill…I'll kill him!"

It almost sounded like he was weeping.

After a few minutes, the pounding and yelling subsided, and Kakashi gave Yugao permission to loosen her hold so that she could go finish Han's medical treatment.

"What was that all about?" she asked as she was treating Han's burns. She didn't know what his face had looked like before, but it would most likely never look the same again.

"He was an experiment," came Tenzou's reply, and if she wasn't mistaken, she sensed some hints of pain and bitterness from the young shinobi. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw Kakashi place his hand on his subordinate's shoulder, if only for a moment.

"Orochimaru," their captain filled in, and that was all the explanation Yugao needed.

Not just an experiment, but a failed experiment – deteriorating, abandoned, filled with contempt and rage. It would have been better just to put him out of his misery. But, the village wanted information.

Their way back to the village was not long, but slow – it had to be. Kakashi was carrying a half-conscious Han, and Tenzou was making way with their trapped captive. Yugao watched them silently, their shoulders slumped, their chakra nearly depleted and yet they refused to rest. She hadn't seen Kakashi like this before – tired. The first time she met him he had seemed untouchable, unfazed, older. But as she saw his lean body dwarfed by that of the older Hyuga, she realized that he was still little more than a boy himself. He had grown up in ANBU, just like her and Tenzou, and he was still growing up. He was still closer in age to the newer recruits than he was to most of the men he commanded.

Suddenly, she felt somewhat useless.

Because he wanted to make it to the village by nightfall, Kakashi hadn't let Yugao fully treat the burns on his arm.

Those burns...Yugao was finally beginning to piece together what had happened back on the battleground, when their target had spotted her as she was treating Han's eyes. In the seconds before the explosion was meant to hit her and Han, Tenzou had stepped in to shield them. But Tenzou wasn't the one who blocked the attack. Right before it could hit him, the explosion was diverted – by Kakashi. How he managed not to get himself blown to bits, Yugao wasn't sure, but Kakashi had saved them. The same Kakashi who had lectured her after her first ANBU mission that no one would ever be there to help her, no one would hesitate to let her die, had saved her.

Why? Why put himself in danger just for them?

It's just because I was essential to the mission. Nothing more.

That must have been it. Medical ninja were usually protected. They were valuable to the team because of their skills in healing. She was just a valuable tool, and of course a captain would recognize that.

But, she couldn't help thinking, Tenzou was there too. Tenzou could have stopped the attack. Was he just protecting Tenzou? But ultimately he had protected them all.

"I don't think he was being entirely truthful, do you?...about nobody having your back."

Tenzou had told her this after their first mission, after Kakashi told them not to depend on anyone. Did Tenzou know something about Kakashi that she didn't? Did Kakashi save them simply because they were useful to have in ANBU or was there something else? His teammates certainly seemed to trust him more than anything, trust him with their lives – literally.

Maybe he isn't such a jerk, after all.

They arrived at the village just after the sunset, just as Kakashi had hoped. Once they were safely through the ANBU gates, he stopped and turned to his subordinates.

"I'll be giving the mission report. Tenzou, take the prisoner to the Intelligence Headquarters for interrogation."

"Yes, Kakashi-senpai."

"And Yugao, take Han to the hospital." She went over and shifted Han's weight onto her. "As the med-nin, they may need you to answer some questions."

"Yes…Kakashi-senpai."

All three conscious shinobi took a moment to register the change, including Yugao. It felt different addressing him this way, but not bad-different. If anything, it was all she could do to apologize for how she had misjudged him for the past year and a half, whether he knew it or not.

"Ok…ah, good work today. Dismissed."

And Kakashi disappeared, in his usual, aloof way.

"Tenzou, you should stop by the hospital later too, just for a check-up, and try to get Kakashi-senpai to go."

He gave her a nod and a thanks before heading his own way.

Han was still on his feet but he was barely using them. It didn't matter; with the right distribution of chakra, he wasn't difficult to carry.

…

The hospital was not busy when she arrived. The doctors were able to prepare a room for Han right away and perform a thorough analysis of his condition. They asked Yugao, just as Kakashi had predicted, about the nature of the attack, the injures he sustained, and the treatment she had given him. She had done everything right, they told her. He would be able to see. He would be able to fight. She did well. Thank goodness.

She was in his room, talking to the nurse, when Han awoke.

"Yugao…is that you?"

She fell silent and went to his side. His eyes were still bandaged, he couldn't see yet, but he must have recognized her voice or sensed her chakra.

"Yes," she answered, matching his whisper. It was the middle of the night, and Han was still injured, and the rest of the world was sleeping. The nurse stepped outside to give them some privacy.

"The doctors said…I'd be ok…"

So he had woken up once before. That was good.

"I never got to see your hair technique," he said with a small, raspy chuckle, and she wondered how he managed to have a sense of humor in this condition. His entire face was covered in bandages, but maybe he was smiling. "Ah well…next time."

Next time? Would there be a next time? Maybe…

"Yes."

She watched his chest rise and fall with each labored breath. But he was fine. He would be fine. He would see.

"As shinobi…we don't get to hear this, or say this, quite as often…as we would like," Han whispered between heaving breaths. Really, he shouldn't even be talking yet. What could be so important that he…?

"…thank you."

Why? Why did he thank her? He shouldn't have. She had just been doing her job, fulfilling a role. She was a medical ninja, that's all.

Suddenly, she felt dizzy. As she placed a hand on the bedside table to steady herself, she called the nurse back in so she could leave.

I'm just tired, she told herself as she headed back to her home. It was nearly morning and she hadn't slept. She hadn't eaten. She just needed rest.

But it's not just that, she forced herself to realize as she lay uncomfortably in her bed. Everyone had it wrong. Kakashi, the doctors, Han – they were all wrong. He shouldn't have thanked her. He shouldn't have thanked her because he didn't know.

He didn't know that in the moment before the attack had struck, before Tenzou and Kakashi had come to save them, in that split-second she had decided to leave him. She had chosen to save herself. She would have, and nobody would have blamed her.

Except herself.

Because she wasn't like Tenzou or Kakashi. She didn't know how to be.

…

Kaya had let her skip training the morning after the mission, but two days later Yugao was back in the Medical Records Room studying head injuries.

Kaya, as usual, was quiet until the very end.

"I heard about what you did for Han. Nice work."

Her too? Why was everyone suddenly commending her? She hadn't done anything worthy of praise.

"For a Hyuga, their eyes are everything," she continued.

Yugao couldn't take it anymore. The only reason her treatment had been successful, the only reason she had even gone all the way through with it, was because she had been saved. She had needed to be saved, and that didn't make her feel strong or dependable at all.

"No…I wasn't...fast enough," she admitted through clenched teeth. Her head hung low, she couldn't face her teacher. "I had to be protected."

She heard Kaya sigh, sensed her inch closer, then stop. It felt as though Kaya were about to reach out and touch her, but she didn't. "Then be faster next time."

Next time...Han had said the same thing.

"Let's call it a day. We'll pick it up again tomorrow." She widened the distance between them once again and began putting away the training materials. Yugao lent a hand. They cleaned up in silence for a while, until Kaya spoke again.

"That red lipstick in your locker, don't wear that anymore."

Yugao didn't try to hide her shock.

"Um, excuse me? Last I checked there wasn't a dress code for when we're off duty."

First she was applauding her and now she was trying to tell her what to wear? What was up with Kaya today?

"Just, don't try to grow up so fast."

"Whatever."

Yugao left before Kaya could respond, if she even had a response. What business did Kaya have with what she wore as a civilian? Kaya was usually quite clear that she wanted nothing to do with Yugao's life in the outside world.

And yet, Yugao was ashamed at how quickly she had reacted with anger. Kaya hadn't deserved that. Perhaps her senior had only spoken out of concern, was trying to tell her something more. But concern for what?

Don't try to grow up so fast...but it was already too late for that. Yugao had grown up the day her parents died when she was five years old. Yugao had grown up the first time she lost a comrade, the first time she killed a man. She had grown up when she joined ANBU. She had to. Not growing up was not an option. If she had been more grown up, she wouldn't have had to be saved.

'Next time', Han and Kaya had said.

Next time, Yugao vowed, she would be faster, better. Next time, she wouldn't need anyone to protect her. Next time, she wouldn't hesitate to do what was right. Next time...for the first time since her parents died, Yugao wanted to have a next time, and a next, and a next, and a next.

But not just that.

She may not have chosen to be a medical ninja, but if that's what fate had in store for her, then she would work harder, and get stronger, so that every one of her comrades would also get to have a next time. That was the kind of person she wanted to become.