Ch 16- My Home Is Your…Hospital?

April 1917

"Thomas!" Elsie cried, surprised to see him when she rounded the corner.

She was headed upstairs now, her husband in tow. They'd known the former footman was returning, and in a capacity Carson did not approve of, but seeing him now so early in the morning after his two and a half year absence, was a surprise. Today Downton was slated for what was probably the biggest transformation it would ever make: a conversion from home to hospital. Carson and Elsie had a lot to attend to after she dropped the twins off with nanny and neither was looking forward to taking orders from Thomas. In fact, Carson didn't plan on doing so.

"Oh, hello Mrs. Hughes." Thomas said. Carson cleared his throat, correcting him. "Mrs. Carson now, I'm sorry."

"Thomas, this is our daughter, Charlotte." She introduced. "And our son, Charlie."

Carson said nothing and was a little miffed that his wife was bothering to introduce the twins. Charlotte, the tiny auburn-red-headed girl, now two, sat balanced on her mother's hip chewing on the ear of one of her stuffed animals. She looked Thomas up and down, wondering who he was. Charlie held his mother's hand and chewed on his fingers as he gazed up at the strange man. Thomas wanted to laugh, noting that although he looked like his mother, there was just a hint of Charles Carson in the way the boy looked up at him disapprovingly. He didn't know then that just like with his father, he and Charlie Jr. would never really see eye to eye.

"Hello Charlotte, Charlie it's nice to meet you. Twins?" He asked surprised by this too.

"Yes." Elsie confirmed. "Charlie, Charlotte, this is Thomas. Well, I have to be going. Taking them up to nanny now." She smiled and quietly continued her walk up the stairs, taking special care to help Charlie navigate his way up the steps.

"Mr. Carson." Thomas greeted. Carson said nothing and turned, following his wife and son up the stairs.

"I suppose not much has changed after all." Thomas mumbled under his breath.

"Why did you introduce the twins?" Carson asked when he and Elsie got up to the first floor.

"Why didn't you say anything?" She asked.

The halls were already bursting with people going every which direction, carrying things, and so forth even though the family had yet to be served breakfast. Charlie and Charlotte's eyes widened, automatically: they did not understand any of what was going on. Carson parted ways with his wife and the twins, so he could go to work. Elsie remained at the foot of the staircase with the children. Charlie, in particular, stood staring at everything that was going on.

"Come along Charlie lad, I know it's a little bit scary." Elsie soothed, urging him to come up the stairs with her. The toddler obediently followed his mother, clutching her hand as he did, but continuing to look back, fear evident in his tiny eyes. "That's my wee boy, the two of you are going to spend your day upstairs with Benjamin, far away from all of the tumult."

…

"Good-bye Ben." Sybil whispered, kissing the top of her baby brother's head as he stood by the front door.

Two-year-old Benjamin was upset about bidding his favorite sister a farewell and scared by everything else that was going on. He looked around, startled at the buzz of activity all around him. He didn't understand who all these strangers were and why so many of them were going in and out of the house moving things around. No one had explained it to him and he couldn't help but watch, fear and a hint of curiosity in his eyes. Sybil tickled his cheek, catching his attention and causing the toddler boy to forget his fears and giggle.

A little more than two years had passed since Ben and the twins were born. In that time, the three had grown exponentially as the war had continued to rage on, changing little at Downton until now. Ben, the heir to the title and estate, didn't realize that it was a momentous and definitely historical day that marked not only desperation but changing times. His family's private home would never be quite so private again after this transformation, and his future title not so prestigious.

"I'll see you after my shift Ben." She smiled, kissing his forehead.

Ben didn't understand where his sister went everyday, but he knew she helped people and he'd followed her to the door in the hope that he could come with her and perhaps take part in whatever she did.

"Did you know that after today I won't be leaving on shifts anymore?" She smiled, clapping his two tiny hands together.

"No go." Ben pouted, begging his favorite sister to stay.

"I won't go." She beamed. "I'll be staying right here at home with Ben and I'll be able to take care of soldiers from here… and I'll sneak away to the nursery whenever I can. I promise "

He giggled, excited by her promise and looked up, startled once again when a man carrying a large table, pushed them aside. He pouted and began to whimper in fear, sidling up to his sister and grabbing her cloak.

"Don't cry! I know it's scary, but we're doing a good thing." She

Informed, her words catching his ear. She smiled up at her mother as she appeared in the doorway. Cora smiled back, agreeing with her daughter's assessment.

'A good thing?' Ben wondered. He was excited, that's exactly what he wanted to do, help people like she did…even though he didn't have much of an idea of what that met. He wondered if all of this commotion met they were doing just that.

"That's right my love." Cora whispered, coming up behind her son, and

picking him up. Ben giggled again, ecstatic his mother had left all the work she'd been doing with cousin Isobel to come and see him. "Big sister is going to be home more often now that the house is becoming a hospital."

While she'd been momentarily apprehensive, she was thrilled at the news in some odd way because she wanted Sybil home and moreover she wanted to help in the war effort too. Offering Downton as a hospital was a new frontier, for them. It was frightening, and it seemed inappropriate at best but she and Robert knew in their heart of hearts they were doing the right thing.

"Oh look, at the time!" Sybil exclaimed, kissing her mother and brother's cheeks. "I have to go, bye Mama, bye Ben."

"Bye!" He called, waving as Branson put her in the car and drove away.

"I'm proud of big sister, aren't you Ben?" Cora whispered, waving as they drove away.

"Bye." He waved quietly.

"Yes Benjamin." Mary teased as she came and stood alongside their mother. "Say goodbye to your favorite big sister."

"Oh Mary." Cora laughed, thinking she was joking. "Here." She kissed Ben's cheek and handed him to her oldest. "Can you take him up to nanny?"

"Of course." She said simply, not speaking again until her mother went away.

Ben paused, staring up at her intently. He could tell that Mary was sad lately, although he didn't know why. He thought it had something to do with that Lavinia girl but wasn't sure. Mary sighed, holding her head high as usual as he made her way toward the stairs to return her baby brother to the nursery. He leaned over suddenly and kissed her cheek and she stopped even in the midst of all these people and smiled.

"I'm glad that at least you know the way to a woman's heart." She smiled, kissing his cheek in reply.

…

Carson and Elsie both found their busy day more upsetting than arduous. The couple stayed on their feet for hours, doing their part to try to ensure Downton a smooth transition from home to hospital. Unfortunately, by mid-day Carson had come to the conclusion it was a transition that could never be fully or cleanly made. This, for however long it lasted, would be something of a mess and a pain for everyone involved.

He didn't much like the idea of being ordered around in a place where he'd been mostly in charge for many years…and neither did Lord Grantham. The two men understood each other's feelings on the subject almost instantly, although they had not had the chance to confer on the matter. Elsie and Cora felt mutually and spent much of their day jointly battling Isobel Crawley for control of the place, with Cora winning out to some degree, gaining equal oversight with her cousin.

It wasn't until later, when the injured young men started to pour into their new, albeit temporary home, that the Carson's day became unbearable. Neither had much of a hand in caring for the men, it wasn't their job after all. But both watched, the pain and abject misery the soldiers were enduring with equal despair. Over the many hours spent doing other things, husband and wife snuck each other small, pain-filled glances. The soldier's condition brought sorrow into the house and panic into their hearts.

Each of them longed to take a moment to go upstairs and hug their own son tight. Elsie wasn't sure if she could continue on with the tasks assigned to her after she'd realized it: that these men were only boys, whose mother she was old enough to be. And that her own baby, safe, unharmed upstairs could easily have been one of them if fate had held a different date of birth for him. Elsie froze when some medics brought one young man in on a stretcher, half his arm blown off. She took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying and throwing up at the same time.

'Keep strong lass.' She chastised herself. 'You're the lucky one your bitty boy is well and he is upstairs, probably sound asleep.'

Carson watched his wife from across the vast room, his heart sinking, understanding almost instantly what played across her mind. He too understood that any of these boys could have easily been theirs but he found himself worried for a reason that he knew hadn't yet occurred to his wife although it would in time. The war had gone on longer than any of them had ever anticipated and none of them knew when to expect its end. Suppose it should last and get worse, or die off and end only to rear its ugly head once more and swallow up his son just as it had these unlucky lads.

…

Later That Night

"Mama." Two-year-old Charlotte mumbled, running her fingers over her lips as she looked over at Mrs. Patmore.

Beryl could tell she was looking for Elsie and was afraid she was going to get upset and start crying. Charlie did the same thing and started looking for his mother over his shoulder. It had been a very busy day and the twins sat in their highchairs, happy to be with Auntie Beryl but missing their mother. The twins had been away from their parents all day and were beginning to get upset about it. They'd been with Ben and the nanny for hours and she'd brought them down just a while ago at Elsie's instruction so they could have some time with their godmother before they finally went home for the evening.

"Your Ma and Da have somewhere to be tonight." Beryl explained. "I'm sure they'll be back for Charlie and Charlotte soon. But in the meantime, we're gonna have fun, and you're both going to help Auntie Beryl cook for tomorrow, aren't ya?"

Charlotte clapped at this idea and Charlie took hold of the baby bottle full of cow's milk Beryl had prepared for him and began to drink.

"I'm sure ya wouldn't mind Auntie Beryl spoilin' ya rotten while their gone, would ya?" She laughed.

"Noooo." Charlie shook his head, knowing that met sweets of some kind.

"How about some ice cream I just made your favorite."

"Stabewwy." Charlotte attempted, her eyes lighting up. Charlie clapped.

The twins, especially Charlotte, adored strawberry.

"Yes loves, strawberry." Beryl said, tying a dishtowel around the girl's neck. "And it even matches with your hair!"

Charlotte and Charlie never understood why Mrs. Patmore always said that about strawberry matching their hair. Their hair was predominantly red with little hints of their mother's more auburn coloring and because of the ice cream they loved so much they saw strawberries as pink, not red.

"Mrs. Patmore I've got the…ooh, Charlotte, Charlie!" Daisy gasped.

"Yes, we've got little ones to ourselves for the evening Daisy." Charlotte clapped.

"Oh…" She hesitated.

"How about you feed them their dessert while I start the dishes for tomorrow, hum? And then after that a bath."

"Nooooo." The twins protested at the mention of a bath.

"Yes." Mrs. Patmore laughed.

"Why should we give them a bath?" Daisy asked.

"Why? So Mrs. Carson has one less thing to do, why else?!"

"Nooooo." The twins cried a second time.

"Yes. You will have a bath so your poor mother doesn't have to do it; she's tired to the bone and been on her feet all day. And we won't argue one more word about it the three of us." She laughed teasingly as she put a bowl down in front of each toddler.

Daisy was a bit disappointed thinking she was the one who needed one less thing to do.

"I-if I feed them they're going to make a mess everywhere and I'll have to clean it up." She complained.

"Yes that's exactly right. They're two, and just learning to feed themselves, what in the world could you expect other than that?"

Daisy watched horrified as the twins put their hands in their ice cream and began to smear it all over themselves.

"What did I tell you?" Beryl laughed. "Bath time."

….

"Oh my Charlie. Thank you." Elsie whispered, taking his hand as they walked down the hall together. She was exhausted and still a bit sad but relished moments like this, they made it all worth it.

"For what?" He asked.

"Because they're precious, Daddy." She smiled.

He paused, hearing his children laughing and giggling in the distance. Both took a moment to just listen as they walked hand in hand, the sound of their happy children healing their broken hearts.

"Yes they are." He beamed. "The beautiful Charlotte Carson."

"And the amazing Charlie Carson." She whispered as he leaned over and kissed her.

Mrs. Patmore had given the twins their bath and then sat them down for a second desert. She had said, after all, that she would spoil them. She sat with them, talking a mile a minute and trying to get them to talk more as well, but she kept making them squeal and giggle instead. This was this sound that greeted Carson and Elsie as they approached the kitchen and filled their hearts with the greatest of joys.

"Well hello." Elsie announced once she and Carson rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"Mummy!" Charlotte squealed. Charlie automatically reached for his Dad.

"Oh look at somebody whose covered in strawberry, what a surprise." Elsie giggled, taking a cloth and beginning to clean her daughter's face even as she still chewed on the snack of fresh strawberries Beryl had given to her.

"I hope you don't mind." Mrs. Patmore said nervously.

"No, no we don't mind." Carson laughed, cleaning his son's hands off.

He leaned down and kissed the boy's head, trying to hide that there were tears in his eyes. He knew it was ridiculous but the plight of them men upstairs made him relieved to see his own son so happy. Charlie, meanwhile, was still snacking and was confused by the fact that his father thought he was done. He picked up his bowl and handed it to him, thinking he'd want to have some banana slices too.

"Thank you son." He acknowledged quietly.

"She's particularly insatiable when it comes to the strawberries: remember?" Beryl reminded.

"Oh boy, do I." Elsie laughed. She'd never be able to forget.

Carson left his son to finish his snack, coming up behind his wife and kissing her cheek.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes." He said. "I just have to go into my office and finish something and then we can go home."

"Thank the Lord!" She was relieved. Elsie was exhausted and couldn't wait to put the twins in bed and go to sleep. "And Beryl, if it's anyone's fault she loves the strawberry it's mine."

"It is." Carson laughed, kissing Charlotte's cheek before he left the room. "It's also why they turned out to be such red-heads."

"Charlotte, Charlie don't listen to him you get your hair from Mummy and it's not even red, per say..."

"Mum!" Charlotte swallowed the last bit of strawberry, reaching up eagerly for her mother. Elsie cleaned her hands off and picked her up.

"Oh my baby, come here. I've missed you." Elsie whispered, lifting the girl out of the wooden highchair.

"I've never seen anybody crave anything that way." Beryl remarked.

"Hmm." Elsie asked, more focused on the girl now. She balanced her on her hip as she made her way over to the son she'd longed for all day.

"The way you wanted strawberries when you were pregnant."

"Oh yes, I was insatiable as well." She said quietly, beginning to rock Charlotte. In the past year, she and Beryl had concluded it was really Charlotte's taste for strawberries that had made Elsie crave them during pregnancy.

"Here, I made bottles for ya for when you get home, so you won't have to do it."

"Oh Mrs. Patmore that was very kind; thank you. I couldn't have done it I'm so tired. That up there today…that was, something else."

"I know." She paused. "I know you must've seen some things I haven't been up but I've heard details: are you alright?"

"Oh I will be now. Come on my precious little dears its bedtime." She whispered, picking up Charlie now too and holding a twin on each of her hips. The children sighed, finally allowing themselves to feel tired now that they were back in her arms where they felt the safest.

…

Both children fell asleep in their mother's arms before they ever left the abbey. Carson took the twins from his wife, holding them tight for the duration of their long walk home. It was late and the children woke up once they got to the cottage, tired but eager to have some milk before they went back to sleep. Elsie heated the bottles and Carson started the fire. They were exhausted and it seemed like for them, that work never ended. At least this work, of caring for their children was the happiest and most important work they did.

Neither spoke for a few moments as they settled in. He took Charlie she took Charlotte. Their lack of conversation in those moments said everything it needed to about that day and how they both realized that the armless half dead boy could easily have been their own son.

"What a long day." Carson sighed, sitting down in his armchair across from his wife and opening the paper, his young son half asleep in his lap, suckling on his bottle.

"Yes. It was." She remarked. Elsie was sitting in her rocking chair by the fire, feeding Charlotte the bottle Mrs. Patmore had made. The girl drank quickly but Elsie could tell that sleep was about to overtake her. She was sort of saddened by the idea and felt she didn't get nearly enough time with her children. "What's in the news?" She asked, rubbing her nose against Charlotte's.

"The war." He replied simply. It seemed like there was never anything else in the news these days.

"Oh." She said sadly. "Charlie, ya know I've been thinking…we were spared that."

"Hum?" He looked up quickly.

"If we'd had children when we planned, when we were younger. We could have boys in this war." She explained.

Carson looked up suddenly when she said this, obviously horrified by the idea. While the concept had crossed his mind, he hadn't thought of it in those specific terms and it chilled him to the bone. He held his own boy tighter to his chest, wondering if he should admit his own fear to her.

"O-oh Elsie you're right." He said simply.

"So, we were spared that awful pain." She remarked, he wasn't sure.

"It does feel strange: doesn't it?"

"Hmm?" She asked, turning her attention back to their daughter whose eyes were growing heavier by the moment.

"For everyone else our age to have a child dying in the war, or broken hearted because a beau died in the war…and we have babies. Innocent, perfect little babies who still have every chance at a wonderful life and a better world to live in." Carson said, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked down at his son. It was dark and Elsie didn't notice her husband was crying.

"Yes, that's what I met. You know, Lord and Lady Grantham were spared too."

"But Mr. Crawley…"

"Yes, but their own boy. Could you imagine if Benjamin were Lady Edith's age? But he's not, is he? He's just a baby too."

"I'm glad we were made to wait. I still can't believe I have such a lovely boy and girl. Charlie and Charlotte are simply perfect."

"I'm glad she's a girl. After all, we can't loose her over a broken heart." Elsie whispered sadly, rubbing her nose against Charlotte's.

Carson's heart seemed to pause for a moment, he couldn't believe she'd said that: that she'd acknowledged his greatest fear so simply. Nonetheless, in someway he agreed.

"You are right." He said, leaning over to look in their daughter's face, smiling halfheartedly. "Wars will come and go and young men with them…in that way, a daughter is the best of blessings."

"She is." She said, rubbing her nose against the little girl's once more, her heart breaking over unspoken fear for her son. "My beautiful little child. And hopefully, the war gets out of the way and our boy will be spared."

"It's the curse of having a boy." Carson swallowed hard, looking down at his now sleeping toddler son. He felt his lip begin to tremble and rubbed his face in the boy's hair, kissing him softly.

Carson and Elsie spent the rest of the evening, hiding their sorrow and fear from each other, and twisting it into an outpouring of affection for their sleeping twin children. Both were so afraid their children were destined for a future like the ones they'd witnessed today. That their daughter would grow up and get her heart broken by the loss of a brother or a beau or both. And much worse, that their precious son, who they'd worked so hard to give life to, would be lost to something so bloody as this war. The idea made Carson feel useless and Elsie desperate.

"May God bless and keep you my precious boy." Carson whispered, his tears wetting his son's head as he kissed him.

"My God bless and protect you my lass." Elsie whispered, holding Charlotte tight.