Ch 17- September 1917

*Disclaimer: Once again, please keep in mind that I've changed some of the timeline of what happens in cannon, Ethel's situation for example. Nonetheless, much of it will still happen as it does in the show. Thanks as always for your wonderful feedback. I'm so glad that many of you are enjoying this story as much as I am!

September 1917

"Oh Elsie, she's so cute!" Cora squealed as she came down the stairs.

Charlotte held her mother's hand as she worked and watched the procession of people making their way outside. She and Charlie were waiting almost impatiently for Benjamin. Charlie held on to his mother's skirt, he was fidgety, impatient, and anxious to run off and play. His mother, in the midst of her work, rested her hand gently on his back or head every now and then to try and settle him down.

Cora noticed something looked different about the twins today but was unsure what it was. In truth, they were a bit older it seemed, not enough to mark any kind of significant difference, but just enough to warrant note. Both were dressed in their finest clothes and Charlotte wore a big white bow that perfectly contrasted her almost shoulder-length auburn hair.

"Thank you m'lady." Elsie smiled briefly, quickly returning to her work ordering the maids about.

Downton had been a hospital for many months now and Isobel had decided to have an end of summer party on the lawn for the family, staff and soldiers who were well enough to attend. Elsie was busy, but glad she was going to get to spend the day watching her children playing.

"Mrs. Carson." The nanny announced when she and Benjamin came down the stairs.

"Oh, hello nanny. I think the twins are just about ready. Sweethearts, you're going to go to the party with nanny and Benjamin. You're going to have a lot of fun, alright?"

"Nooo." Charlie cried.

"No Mummy." Charlotte reached for her.

Charlotte and Charlie looked up at her with slight confusion in their eyes that no one understood. They'd been looking forward to their time with Ben, what was true, and they didn't dislike their nanny but they also had been desperately hoping that their mother would attend the party with them. Elsie sighed, getting on her knees to face her twins.

"Mummy loves the two of you so very much more than the whole of the world." She beamed, the twins soothed by her smile in an instant. The sight made Benjamin look around for his own mother who was nowhere to be found. "My lad and lass, Mummy has to work, but she and Daddy will see you at the party."

"Nooo." The twins began to whimper collectively.

"Goodbye my loves. Goodbye." Elsie took a moment to kiss each of her twins on the cheek and wave at Benjamin as nanny took Charlie's hand and Charlotte took Ben's.

"Goodbye Benjamin. Goodbye my lad and my lass." Elsie blew a kiss her children's way.

Elsie sighed, looking outside for the first time that day as she watched nanny take the three toddlers onto the lawn. She smiled at the sight at first, her joy turning to frustration when another scene caught her eye. The lawn was dotted with tables and games and chairs for the men to rest outdoors. In all it looked very much like the annual garden party did in some ways, except with accommodation for the fact that Downton was a convalescent home now.

Elsie huffed in frustration when she saw Ethel sitting over to the side, kneeling against the chair Major Bryant sat in and laughing with him. She had half a mind to go down there and break it up. It'd been going on long enough and was becoming increasingly inappropriate by the day. She was about to make her way toward them but then Isobel tapped her on the shoulder, needing her assistance in the other room and she forgot about the couple for the time being.

…

A while later most everyone was out on the lawn. In a switch from old times, Lord and Lady Grantham were each working in some capacity, instead of enjoying the party, so like Carson and Elsie, they spent whatever time they could, stealing glances as the children as they played. The three attempted some of the games met for the soldiers but mostly partook of the snacks and chased each other around. None of them would ever know the happiness they brought to the soldiers, nurses and everyone else watching them. They were a reminder that even in times like these, innocence thrived and life went on in the most meaningful of ways.

Carson smiled deeply as he watched his little girl giggle. He wanted nothing more than to abandon his work and play with her, to watch her little eyes sparkle with innocence and joy, and then to take his son and do the same, perhaps start teaching him how to play cricket? Yes. Today would be the perfect day for the lad's first game of cricket.

Instead, he watched the children for a few moments as they laughed and played not knowing his wife and their employers were doing the same. Nanny was helping Charlie play a game while Charlotte and Ben waited their turns. The two seemed to be babbling to each other, attempting to converse about something. Suddenly, Ben kissed Charlotte straight on the lips. Charlotte paused for a moment before squealing, after which she began to giggle like mad, Ben followed suit.

Cora gasped when she saw it, finding it just adorable. Something about it gave her goose bumps. Elsie thought it was the sweetest thing she'd ever seen. Robert found it funny and was actually sort of proud his son had kissed his first girl while he was still just a baby. Carson, however, was fuming. He felt his heart almost skip a beat or even stop when it happened, and then very suddenly he found himself consumed with anger. Unlike the rest of them he didn't see it as an innocent little baby kiss, he saw it as inappropriate and something that threatened to steal his daughter's innocence away…and some how to take her away from him. Deep inside, he knew his reaction was ridiculous, but he couldn't check his anger.

"Charlotte!" He called sharply.

The little girl looked up surprised, her auburn hair bouncing on her shoulder. She understood something was wrong immediately and was confused by her father's anger when he approached. She didn't want to leave, but didn't protest when he picked her up. He practically tore Charlie's hand out of nanny's and made a kind excuse as he took the children and turned away.

"Come along." He'd said. "I think we've had enough excitement for one day."

Ben was distressed by Charlotte being ripped away like that and ran into nanny's arms. She understood his pain and cuddled him tightly. Like Cora, the nanny had some understanding of Ben's feelings for the Carson girl. Charlotte looked back at Ben sadly as she was carried away and he stared back, his sad blue eyes, pooling with tears.

…

"Charlie you're being absurd!" Elsie laughed, tying a bib around their son.

They were in Downton's kitchen: fighting, as they were getting ready to feed the twins an early dinner. The whole thing was surreal for Beryl who'd never seen them argue before and was biting her tongue to keep herself from interjecting.

Feeding the twins that night was an added burden they hadn't had time for, and was making the altercation worse. Usually, on nights like this, when there was to be a big dinner for the family and guests, the twins stayed with nanny and Ben until late, and she fed them.

Tonight, Carson had rejected that offer and even at Elsie's insistence, he refused to allow them to be taken back upstairs. Worse, they would go home very late that night, if at all, and had to feed the babies (and hopefully get them to sleep) well before the evening got under way, which was a tall order.

"She's just a baby for heaven's sake it's a baby kiss, it doesn't matter!" Elsie yelled as she watched him settle Charlotte into her highchair.

"Well I should say it certainly does!" He protested.

"Oh good lord." Beryl mumbled, placing the twin's bowls in front of them. "What will we do with him when she's fourteen and has a beau?"

"Don't say that!" Carson exclaimed.

"Not helping." Elsie mumbled under her breath.

The twins began to dig in right away, using their hands instead of their utensils. They watched closely, their eyes wandering back and forth from one parent to the other as they argued. They weren't used to seeing them disagree and were horribly confused. They also didn't understand what had made their father so angry at the party earlier.

"Well don't pin this on me." Carson spat back at his wife as he took Charlotte's hands and cleaned them off so he could try to force her to use her spoon. The twins liked to make a mess when eating and it had become a source of contention between father and children. "I'm not exactly the only one who's trying to keep them younger than they are."

"He's right about that." Beryl agreed.

Both the Carson's stopped, staring back at the cook angrily for intervening.

"Never mind me." She turned away.

"Keep them younger? They're only…"

Carson sighed. "They're nearly three-years-old. I know we waited so long to have children, they mean so much to me too but the nursing, Elsie, they're too old!"

"He's right. I mean the lass has gotten her first kiss." Beryl stopped when Elsie and Charlie glared at her.

Elsie still nursed the twins at night before they went to bed and sometimes in the day if she had the space to just be alone with them and cuddle them. Carson and Mrs. Patmore thought they were getting too old for it, but Elsie felt she was just connecting with the baby twins she longed to spend more time with. Besides, the nursing calmed them after a long day and helped them fall asleep much easier than they otherwise would. All of this, like the twin's other eating habits, had become a source of contention between husband and wife over the past few months.

After the twins had finished dinner, Elsie picked them both up without a word to either her husband or friend and hurried up the stairs.

"I'm right you know." Beryl told him, Carson looked back in surprise.

"What, how so?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"First off, they are too old for nursing."

"Well I'll agree to that…."

"But you shouldn't pressure her about it."

"What I…" Carson was growing frustrated with the cook.

"She waited so long to be a Mummy and they're very close the three of them. Not that they're not close to you." She specified. "But you're not." She sighed, gathering herself. "You're not part of that process. It's an emotional thing between a mother and babies, not just a physical one. It's not for you to determine when they'll wean, but they will. I promise, and probably soon." She looked back at Carson, seeing that he was visibly angry with her. She didn't care and decided to just stare back at him, steadfast in her words. "And then there's the matter of the kiss. She's really right; it is just a baby kiss. I saw it, he slobbered all over her."

Carson was fuming at the mention of this. "I see. So you side resoundingly with Mrs. Carson on all of this I take it?"

"No." She shrugged. "Not everything. Like I said, they are too old to nurse."

…

"Are you speaking to me Elspeth Carson?" Carson asked, knocking on the bedroom door as he entered.

It was late and because dinner had run over and the twins were asleep they'd decided to stay at the abbey for the night. After moving to their cottage Carson and Elsie had retained her old room just for this purpose. The light was dim and she had her back to him when he entered the room. Baby Charlie was snoring audibly, but Charlotte was lying next to her mother nursing and half asleep.

"That depends." She sighed. "Are you speaking to me?"

"Yes." He took off his shoes slowly, his feet aching badly after a long day.

They said nothing as he undressed and he watched her nurse their half asleep daughter.

"Why's she still up?"

"You mean why is she nursing?" She clarified as he climbed into bed. "She's scared Charlie, she still needs me to put her to sleep this way, she's little."

He propped his head up on his hand watching as Charlotte's eyes grew heavy.

"You never liked it." He observed.

"No I don't, but they do and it makes us so much closer and I like that." She whispered, holding the girl close and kissing her cheek. Actually, after nursing all this time, it didn't hurt so much anymore.

"I see."

"It's different for me Charlie…I struggled for so long to have them, and then nursing was difficult and I almost lost them both… we need extra time some people don't that's all."

"Mrs. Patmore said they'd wean when they were ready."

"They will." She smiled. "They're starting to. Oh Charlie I know you can't keep them little forever. If I know that, surely you do." She paused, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"Yes I do." He confessed, running his fingers through his snoring little boy's hair. He paused for a moment. "I suppose I just felt…like time had gone by a bit too quickly when she was kissed. She's little, I'm supposed to be the man in her life and I suppose I just got…"

"Jealous?" She asked.

"Hurt." He clarified.

"Oh Daddy it's alright. She was asking for you before she got sleepy."

"She was?"

"Umhmm." She smiled. "I'm sure that right now you're not only the only man in her life, but the center of her world."

Carson blushed at the thought, doubting it was true, but deep inside, hoping that it was.

"And that even when she does find someone." She whispered, inching closer to him. "She'll still have that special place right in the center of her heart just for Daddy."

Carson beamed, starting to cry as Elsie leaned her forehead against his and kissed him softly.

…

The family went to sleep shortly after that it had been a physically and emotionally taxing day. Charlotte was curled up in her mother's arms, and Charlie had woken up and climbed on top of his dad's chest where he fell back asleep. Carson laid there for a while, watching his baby son snore on top of him, and wishing that time wasn't going by so tremendously quickly. Still, it didn't take long for him to also fall asleep. The four were exhausted and would've slept soundly all night and perhaps into the day had they, and the rest of the house, not woken up to Mr. Lang's loud, panicked screaming.

It was overwhelming and just kind of happened all at once. Carson had been sound asleep and then suddenly Mr. Lang was screaming…and so were the twins. The little boy and girl were startled, having been woken from a sound sleep by the man's yelling and as a result they'd both started sobbing uncontrollably. Elsie gathered them into her arms as Carson, still partially asleep, sprung to his feet and raced down the hall with everyone else. Elsie put her crying twins on her hips, deciding she had to see what all of this was about.

By the time she arrived in his doorway; the twins were calmed down a little. No longer screaming, they sucked their thumbs as tears still streamed down their cheeks. When she got there, she found her husband, Anna, Mrs. Patmore, Thomas and Daisy gathered around the doorway, with Ms. O'Brien, of all people, putting the man back to bed.

"Shell shock." Carson whispered, placing his hand on the slope of his wife's back and ushering her out into the hall.

"Oh." She understood, bristling at the thought.

Everyone was in the hall now, talking or preparing to return to bed or both. Elsie looked around, noting that someone was missing.

"Our little lad and lass are scared." She noted.

"Oooh!" He soothed, reaching out to take them both from her. "Let's have a little chat about it, shall we? Daddy's here and he's going to make all the scary things go away." He informed. They clung to him as he kissed their cheeks.

"Perhaps a story." Elsie suggested, passing the room Anna and Ethel shared and noting it was empty.

"It's late but perhaps that's the perfect thing to get them back to…"

"Yes, yes it is." She said. "How about you start?"

"Elsie?"

"I'm a bit thirsty." She told him. "I'm going to go downstairs and get a drink of milk…would you like anything?"

"Would you like us to come with y…"

"No, no." She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you in bed in a few minutes it's alright."

"Alright." He agreed, raising an eyebrow as he took the twins back to bed.

Elsie went down to the kitchen, planning on getting herself some milk just for the sake of the way it looked, but in reality, she was really wondering where Ethel had gone off to. She was exhausted, and by the time she got her glass of milk, and turned to go back to bed, she started to wonder if perhaps she'd just missed something amidst the chaos of the man's screaming and her children's tears. But then the light shining from underneath the storage room door caught her eye. She'd passed it, but backtracked a little, pressing her ear up to the door. Elsie listened carefully, her mouth dropping open because of what she heard. She gasped audibly, and didn't hesitate to push open the door.

"Ethel!" She cried out angrily.

Major Bryant panicked, scrambling from his place on the floor and covering himself with the sheet. Elsie could tell he wanted to do his best to distance himself, to act like he wasn't participating in something he'd obviously initiated and possibly to pretend that he wasn't even there. The idea made Elsie sick.

"I know precisely what you were doing Major! I may not be a woman of the world, but I don't live in a sack! Now: if you'll kindly take your things and go upstairs. Ethel you are dismissed without notice and without a character."

"I didn't think I…"

"No! And that's the problem you never do!"

Elsie made sure that Major Bryant left, and then turned, leaving Ethel all alone in the storage room before retreating to bed.

"What kept you so long? It was just milk?" Carson asked when she climbed back in bed. By this time, the twins were asleep once again. It'd been a while since she'd left and he was suspicious as to where she'd been. He'd also noticed someone had been unaccounted for during Mr. Lang's screaming session, but was unsure of who it was.

"It's a long story love." She told him.

"What?"

"I had to fire Ethel. I'll explain it tomorrow." She sighed.

"You'll explain it now." He corrected.

She paused, saying nothing for a moment and suddenly, she kissed his lips very gently.

"Mr. Carson. Sometimes, we disagree. Sometimes we upset each other. But I'm so happy." She whispered, looking down at the twins who rested, snuggled up between their parents. "That you love and respect me so much. That even when you first looked at me…."

"I thought. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He smiled. "She's everything. She's perfect. And she's going to be my wife."

Elsie nuzzled him, tears in her eyes. "I'm so blessed for you to have that love and respect of me."

He understood what she met. In their situation, he could've easily just used her, and instead, he'd really risked everything to marry her. In that instant, he began to understand what she must've discovered downstairs.

"And I'm even more blessed you're so protective of our baby girl, that you want the same for her."

"No less than that would be acceptable for my little girl and certainly not for you. I love you tremendously Elsie, and unlike many men, there was only one option on the table for me when I realized I loved you, do you know what it was?" He whispered.

"No."

"That you would be mine, and only mine to have and to hold for the rest of forever. And that I be yours."

Elsie didn't say another word, overwhelmed by the contrast between what she'd dealt with downstairs and her husband's supreme love for her. She closed her eyes, beginning to cry as she pressed her lips gently against this. He wrapped his arms around her, and the children and deepened the kiss. She melted into his embrace, allowing his strong arms to soothe her, and drifted back to sleep, content by the thought that she'd never felt loved so much as in that night.