The Elephant-Koi In The Room

A random question leads to a journey of self-reflection. Katara tries to re-assess herself, and her relationship with Aang. A short series of moments in-between. Slight AU.

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Chapter Two

"Apart"

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Katara dipped one of Sokka's shirts back into the water. One day, her dearest brother was going to have to learn the fine art of washing his own clothes.

The skies overlooking the Western Air Temple were usually lovely, endless blue with wisps of clouds and the occasional rainstorm, but Katara couldn't necessarily say the same about the temperature. And with the heat and humidity brought sweat, and sweat brought a distinct odor that Katara didn't care for. So, the frequency of clothes washing would have to increase, and Sokka – being a boy – sweated more than most of them.

Zuko probably generated more sweat than Sokka, if Katara was honest, but she refused to wash his clothing. She would sooner grow a second head than be a washerwoman for the man who attacked their village, chased them halfway around the world, and nearly got Aang killed.

She frowned at the thought of Zuko. Aang and Zuko had gone on an adventure to find the 'original source of firebending'. If this mysterious source turned out to be yet another ploy to capture Aang, then Katara would hardly be surprised. On the other hand, Aang did need to learn firebending to defeat the Fire Lord, and Zuko was unfortunately their only source of firebending instruction for the present.

If this trip was a waste and Zuko just wasn't as good at Firebending as he thought, Katara would him throw into the gaping ravine below the temple. Well, not really. But she would really want to.

She hated the thought of Aang being alone with Zuko. She recalled a scene right before they left, while Aang was getting Appa ready for the trip, where Katara asked…well, grilled Aang about whether he thought going on this trip alone was a good idea. And Aang, true to form, grinned ear to ear and nodded his head, not worried in the slightest about being alone.

"I really think Zuko's good now, Katara. Don't worry, I'll be fine. You'll see,"

So infuriating. Didn't Aang care about his own life?" Didn't Aang care about how the people he left behind would feel, if the worst did happen?

Katara couldn't make his decisions for him, though. And she didn't want to mother him, like Toph and Sokka unknowingly reminded her about. If Aang - the eternal optimist - truly trusted Zuko, then that was that.

She heard footsteps echo from behind her, which could only be Sokka. Toph's bare feet didn't make a lot of noise, Haru's footsteps were heavier, and Teo was in a wheelchair. He had gone to get a whetstone for his fancy meteor sword. Katara didn't know if a meteor sword would lose its edge too often, but she also didn't know a lot about swords or sword-smithing.

Honestly, Katara needed to stop babying her brother as well. Sokka was remarkably intelligent, even if he hid himself behind a goofy veneer. She still didn't know how she had hit Combustion Man dead-on with his boomerang, such a pinpoint shot couldn't have been luck.

The noise of sword against stone rang out. Katara didn't mind though. She liked knowing the temple was inhabited by friendly faces.

"Katara?"

Her head popped up, eyeing her brother. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you were washing the same shirt when I left. And I've been gone awhile."

Katara looked down. She could see the fabric of the shirt getting thin, though she hadn't quite worn a hole in the fabric yet.

"Oh, I guess I didn't notice."

"I don't know why you're so worried about Aang," Sokka said. "the way I see it, Aang knows like three elements and Zuko only knows one. Three beats one, right?"

"And if this Sun Warrior civilization is a lie, and Zuko is leading Aang to an ambush where his sister and like a hundred Fire Nation soldiers are waiting? What are the odds then?"

"Well…that's a little more complicated."

"I don't know how you can be so flippant about this."

"Katara, Toph did her feet lie-detector thing, right? And Zuko isn't exactly a people person like his sister." Sokka began doing an admittedly spot-on impression of Zuko's voice. "I, uh, guess I'm like…good…now. And stuff. And I can teach firebending…to you."

Katara wanted to laugh, but she couldn't let her brother know that he was actually hilarious sometimes. "I can't help it, Sokka. I know Aang can take care of himself, but I just get worried."

"I don't think Aang is meant to die in some random ambush while he's looking for some ancient fire-benders."

"You don't think he's 'meant' to die? What happened to you, Mister Skeptic?"

"Hey, I believe in stuff that you can prove with evidence. And considering all the weird, unexplainable mumbo-jumbo that happens to us, I can start to believe in destiny as a concept."

"So, you think his destiny is to defeat the Fire Lord?" Katara asked, a small hope swelling within her. "You think he'll win?"

Sokka shrugged. "His destiny could be to lose to the Fire Lord. I just don't think he's going to die from falling off Appa or something."

The wet shirt in Katara's hands hurled itself against Sokka's face. She started to storm off, but Sokka ran up behind her and caught her by the shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey. I wasn't being serious, all right? Aang's the most talented kid I've ever seen. Of course he'll win."

After taking a deep breath, Katara turned back around and let Sokka's rest on her shoulder. Sokka could be such a jerk, but sometimes he knew the right thing to say. Sometimes. She brought her own hand up and let it lay over Sokka's, a mirthless smile forming on her lips.

"Just a little advice," Katara said. "for whenever you find Suki again…sometimes girls just want to hear that everything's going to be alright. Doesn't matter if it's true, they just want to hear the words. Okay?"

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." Sokka wiped some wet shirt moisture from his forehead. "Wouldn't want Suki throwing my clothes back in my face, right?"

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"So, are you and Aang all smoochy-smoochy now? Calling each other sweetie and my little platypus-bear?"

The soft hum of the water around Toph's feet echoed throughout their camping spot in the temple complex. Katara predicted Toph's undersoles would be more-or-less healed in a day or two, and as an unintended bonus, they were actually clean for once. But Katara didn't want to mother the girl.

Toph had been living this way since long before Katara and her friends practically absconded with her, Katara would just have to take Toph at her word that she knew what she was doing.

Katara couldn't help but sigh at Toph's question. "I sure am glad these little healing sessions will be coming to an end soon."

"Aw, come on. I was just asking for a little status report."

"Aang and I aren't smoochy-smoochy and we definitely don't call each other 'sweetie'. I told him I needed time to think, and he understood."

"Seriously?" Toph crossed her arms. "Well, you take practically until mid-day to finish brushing your hair. I guess you would be wishy-washy about this sort of thing."

"I do not take that long to brush my hair. Besides…there's a lot of it." Katara looked towards one of the brown locks in front of her face, somewhat subconsciously. "You'll understand when you're older."

"I've got a crush on Sokka."

"Well, that's – " Katara did a quick double-take. "You've got a what on Sokka?"

"Yeah. Sucks, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?" Toph shrugged, practically dismissing the thought as soon as it came up. "Sokka still likes that Suki girl, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about me, so it's never going to happen. But I know how I feel towards him, there's no thinking about it."

"Well, it's not that way for me. And about Sokka…" There was no getting around the issue, Toph was right. Suki was actually Sokka's age, they had kissed before and Sokka already liked her, and she was currently imprisoned by the Fire Nation. Even though Katara found Toph a pretty girl in her own right, she couldn't really compete with that. "…you'll find someone that's right for you someday. You're too amazing to stay single for long."

"Assuming we survive the next couple weeks."

"Yes, assuming we actually survive long enough for you to meet a nice boy."

"Eh. I'm not too worried about that anyway. If it happens, it happens." The girl curled a couple fingers and bended a loose rock from the ground, the pebble circling her finger. "You still feel guilty about having the hots for Aang?"

"Have you ever heard of the word 'tact'?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it. And you're never going to come to grips with it unless you talk it out."

"I just…" Katara focused on her healing as she tried to string a series of words together that accurately described her feelings. "There's not like a valve I can turn on or off, like turn on a 'girlfriend' valve and turn off a 'friend' or 'concerned big sister' valve. Like, I feel like I shouldn't have these feelings for him, considering what I used to think of him as, like a little brother or something. And the fact that he's the Avatar."

"Does it feel wrong? Or do you think it should feel wrong?"

It took a moment for Katara to consider that question. "I don't think it feels wrong. But I was also the first person Aang saw when he came out of the iceberg, what if – "

"So what? You already said that." Toph threw her hands up, sending the small pebble she was playing with flying. "We could be talking about you having feelings for Zuko right now, if he hadn't betrayed you in that cave. Or what if Sokka was the first one Aang saw? Aang could be smooching Sokka right now. You get too far inside your own head sometimes, Katara."

"Well, it's important to me to make these distinctions."

"Okay, I'll ask this a different way. If Aang started dating another girl, how would you feel?"

Angry. Blindingly furious. Though, Katara would be angrier that Aang played with her feelings than jealous towards another girl. But there was a fair bit of envy as well. More than Katara wanted to admit.

"I would be upset, but I'd get over it." Katara looked to the side. "Eventually."

"Well, there you go."

"It's not that simple, Toph."

"It is that simple."

"No," Katara said. "it isn't for me. Besides, you're the one who said I need to untangle my feelings."

"I didn't think they were this tangled. I thought you needed a couple days or something to figure it out." A mischievous smirk crossed Toph's lips. "So, you're afraid that your motherly or sisterly or whatever feelings are getting mixed in with your potential-girlfriend feelings. Right?"

"More or less." As much as Katara hated to admit it, Toph had a knack for being succinct.

"Do you think Aang needs a mother? Or a big sister? Or do you think he needs a friend?"

"I think he needs someone to look out for him. I mean, really look out for him."

"You think that about the whole group."

"It's not like I can turn it off." In frustration, Katara took the bended water around Toph's feet and tossed it into the ravine. She was done with it anyway. "Look, Aang won't look out for himself, so someone has to do it."

Toph didn't say anything for a bit, either carefully considering her next words or giving Katara some room to breathe. Katara envied Toph sometimes. Toph had problems with her parents, sure, but the girl herself always seemed so composed and sure of herself. Sometimes too much so, perhaps, but better than the stormy ball of emotions Katara often found herself in.

"I'm sorry for lashing out," Katara said, finally. "it's just a lot going on, and I'm – "

"Does Zuko being with us upset you that much, Katara?"

Katara blinked. "Yes."

"Then why'd you vote to let him in the group?"

"Because Aang did. I thought I could handle it."

"Katara, I hear the way you snipe at him whenever we're all together. You're like a boiling pot that's about to spill over."

Katara blew air through her nose. "I threatened to kill him."

"What?"

"I said, if he gave me any reason to make me think he would hurt Aang, I'd end him." As Katara said the words out loud to someone else, a part of her actually felt guilty for speaking to Zuko like that. "I'm not taking any more chances, Toph. Not with him."

"So…were you serious?"

She hesitated. Honestly, Katara hadn't thought her…endgame for Zuko through that far. "I don't know."

"How were you going to do it? Kick him into the ravine? Ice spike?"

"I don't know, Toph. I don't sit around fantasizing about murdering Zuko."

Toph cocked her head to the side. She wasn't looking at Katara, as usual, but the message was still clear.

"Okay, I did after Ba Sing Se. Some. But not right now."

"Well, look at you, Sugar Queen." Toph's tone seemed almost impressed. "I don't think Aang would approve, but not bad. I didn't think you had it in you."

"It's not something I'm really proud of, Toph. But Aang doesn't have to know everything. Right?"

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"Monk Gyatso always said our place was to live freely, enjoy life, and leave the world a little better than we found it. I think that's our place in the universe."

Aang wondered how long him and Zuko would be stuck against these bars, a sea of green and sticky gunk below them. They couldn't really move, or bend, or do anything but humor the question Zuko had just asked about their place in the universe. So, Aang supposed they would just talk. A little philosophy would help pass the time, if nothing else.

Somehow, Aang thought this trip would be simpler. Like, they would find draw inspiration from the ruins or even just find something like the dancing statues below, a fire-bending form that would convey some ancient fire-bending secrets. But now they were victims of a green sticky goo trap that, miraculously, still worked after hundreds of years.

So, here they were. Two former enemies stuck here by bad luck or lack of caution, or perhaps both, with only the night sky and stars above for company.

"I didn't think you would actually have an answer." Zuko scoffed to himself. "Who am I kidding? Of course you do."

"I'm the Avatar. I'm practically full of worldly wisdom."

"Ugh." Zuko's eyes scanned around them; if he had the same field of vision as Aang, he wasn't seeing much. "I hope someone comes along soon."

"Yeah, would suck to starve to death before I face the Fire Lord."

"You won't starve to death," Zuko said. "we'll die of thirst first."

"Well, that's reassuring."

"I guess we could have our faces bitten by a poisonous spider-snake instead."

"You guys have spider-snakes?" And Aang thought buzzard-wasps were bad. "How do people even live in the Fire Nation with those kinds of creatures?"

"Azula put one in my bed once. Not a poisonous kind, just a regular one. That was fun."

"That's really mean."

"Azula's a really mean person." Zuko grimaced to himself. "You didn't figure that out when she put a bolt of lightning through you?"

"You've shot like a hundred fireballs at me, and here we are." Not that Aang didn't think Azula was a mean person, or Zuko before he joined their group. "But she is pretty mean-spirited."

"You should try living with her. That will give you a whole new perspective on the phrase 'mean-spirited'."

The more Aang heard about Zuko's home life, the more Aang felt sorry for him. Toph was right. As messed up as living in the royal palace was for Zuko, he could have turned out a lot worse. Aang tried changing the subject, to a hopefully more positive topic.

"So," Aang said. "what do you think of our group so far? We're a pretty fun bunch, right?"

"I guess." Zuko's face wasn't quite readable, but his feelings appeared to be mixed. "It's…nice, for the most part. I know everyone's still kind of tense around me, but I feel like I'm in the right place, for once."

"They'll get used to you."

"I'm not so sure that certain people will."

Aang thought back to before he left with Zuko, when Katara was asking him if searching for the 'original source of fire-bending' alone with their supposedly former-enemy was a good idea. In Aang's mind, if he needed a fire-bending teacher and Zuko thought coming here would bring his mojo back, then they should at least try it. And if Aang really pressed Katara about the issue, she would likely admit that they needed to do this as well.

She was just venting, Aang figured. And her venting translated to shooting barbed insults at Zuko and being over-protective about Aang's welfare. Katara would hold a grudge for longer than most towards people who abused her trust, and she wasn't happy with the situation, but she was trying her best to deal with it.

"You mean Katara, right?" Aang asked. "She'll come around. Maybe you should try talking to her alone, reach out to her."

Zuko scoffed. "Why, so she can threaten to kill me again?"

"Wait, what did you say?"

Zuko's eyes widened; he had clearly said something he hadn't intended. "Uh, I said…she threatened to bill me. Yeah. For when I attacked her village. My ship…really did a lot of damage when it pulled in."

Out of habit, Aang let out a chuckle. His voice was deflated after what Zuko had said. "You're not really a very good liar, Zuko."

"Yeah…I probably shouldn't have said that."

"When did this happen?"

"The evening after you guys let me into the group."

"And what did she say?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Zuko started to do a poor imitation of Katara's voice. "I believe her exact words were: 'You take one step backwards, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends, right then and there. Permanently.'"

"That…" Aang didn't really know how to feel about Katara's words. Maybe Zuko was lying, but he was also prone to slip-ups when speaking. "…I don't think she should have said that."

"I mean, I get it. I probably deserve it after everything I've done. And it's not half as bad as some of the things Azula used to say to me."

"But it's still not right. Not to me." On some level, Zuko was right. With all the war and death in the world currently, one maybe-serious maybe-not serious death threat wasn't a big deal. But to Aang, a person's life was no joking matter. "The monks raised me to treat all life as sacred, Zuko. I know you might not understand…but to me, it's a big deal."

"So, what did you plan to do when you face my father, then? Have an honorable duel and hope he surrenders in the end?"

"…yes? I'll figure something out."

"Aang, if there's one quality that I actually share with my father, it's that he doesn't give up. And even if he does surrender, what kind of cell or cage do you think will hold him?"

"I know he's a terrible person, Zuko. But I can't go around just killing people I don't like. It goes against everything I stand for. I've got to find another way."

Zuko shook his head. "I don't think you will, but I also don't think we're going to come to a middle ground while we're stuck here."

Aang still couldn't believe Katara would say something like that. He knew Katara wasn't happy about Zuko joining them, but he didn't know she was that unhappy. Katara's words about almost falling into complete despair after Ba Sing Se…somehow they made more sense now.

Obviously, Aang wasn't aware enough at the time to gauge Katara's complete emotional state. The weeks after the fall of Ba Sing Se, for him, consisted of waking up in immense pain after Katara revived him with the spirit water, then falling into blackness and fever dreams until he finally returned to consciousness on their stolen Fire Navy ship. He remembered Katara crying with relief, and not much else.

It wasn't like Katara's words to Zuko changed how Aang felt about her. Katara wasn't a bad person; in fact, she was one of the most caring, compassionate people Aang had ever met. He was still infatuated with her, and he still cared about her. But even when Jet had sought their group out in Ba Sing Se, Katara hadn't gone that far.

Aang was going to have to talk with her. Not to call her out for threatening Zuko, or to be angry with her. Just to make sure Katara was doing okay. The stress of almost losing Aang in Ba Sing Se and leaving her father and loved ones behind after the Day of Black Sun was probably taking a toll.

Picking up on Aang's sudden confusion, Zuko's voice softened. "Anyway, look, Katara probably wasn't serious. I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Aang nodded, finding some comfort in Zuko's words.

"Yeah. I hope you're right."

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