Disclaimer: I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely my interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.
Warnings: This story may contain material that is not suitable for all audiences and may offend some readers. There's also canon-typical references to child abuse & manipulative behavior. Please exercise understanding of personal sensitivities before and during reading.
Author's Note(s): My humor runs towards dry & dark, so I have no idea how well the jokes in this piece translate. And for those of y'all who have no clue about the language of flowers, larkspur means "a profound & deep bond of love" with the added bonus of "contrariness" if the blooms are pink.
Challenge/Competition Block:
Stacked with: QL (Season 8); MC4A
Team (Position): Wigtown Wanderers (Keeper)
Round Info: Season 08 – Round 04
QL Prompt(s)s: Adventure (genre); Comedy (genre)
Individual Challenges: Beauty in the Abstract; Shadow HP Bribery (Y); Gryffindor MC (x2); Ravenclaw MC; Magical MC (x3) (Y); Shifter MC; Professor MC; Neurodivergent (x2); Rian-Russo Inversion (x2); Ethnic & Present; Setting Sail; Hold the Mayo; Lunar Era; Old Shoes (Y); Feathers & Such; Short Jog (Y); Bucket Listing (Y); Green Ribbon (Y); Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y)
Other MC4A Challenges (Prompt): Sp Bingo [4B](Pink); Tr Bingo [1A](What the Hell?); Hunt [Sp Settings](Sea/Ocean); Ship [Sp Big](Hair Stick/Pin); Chim [Joyce] ("You Must Love Me" - Evita)
Representation: Luna/Harry; Fairy Luna; Desi Potters; Remus Lupin; BC Use
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenge(s): Mother Hen; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Fire Song; Mouth of Babes; Tomorrow's Shade; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; Found Family; Nontraditional; Sneeze Weasel; Zucchini Bread); Chorus (Odd Feathers; Wabi Sabi; Bee Haven; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots); Demo (Grease Monkey; Casper's House; Most Human Bean; Hot Apple; Dog Star; Where Angels Fear); Demo (Creature Feature; In the Trench; Mermaid)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: T3 (Toad); SN (Rail; Ameliorate)
Word Count: 2588
-= LP =-
Finders, Keepers
-= LP =-
Harry answered the door with half of his attention still on the tea he was preparing for Aunt Petunia's bridge club. She was having him try a new recipe for scones, and it just wasn't turning out like it should have. He was debating if he had time to dump the dough he had and just doing the recipe he could do in his sleep.
All thoughts of orange-current anything was purged as he blinked uncomprehendingly at Luna examining the rose bush next to the porch. She had her hair twisted into a bun held in place with a silver hairpin topped with a waterfall trail of pink larkspur blossoms that brushed the back of her pale olive neck. It matched the pattern embroidered along the edges of her lavender sundress. Somehow, the deep red of Luna's favorite dirigible plum earrings just pulled the entire outfit together rather than ruining it.
"Luna," Harry said in shock, still holding the door open. The blonde hummed in acknowledgement before burying her nose in one of the pale pink flowers. He cleared his throat before trying again to get her attention. "Luna, you're, you're here."
"Oh, yes," Luna agreed readily. She straightened back up. "I am here."
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, that," she said. She fiddled with the bottle corks on her necklace.
"Yes, that," Harry said, trying to hurry the conversation along. Luna didn't deserve being exposed to the sharp side of Aunt Petunia's tongue. Fortunately, Luna seemed to be ready to explain her sudden presence in his very Muggle neighborhood.
"I'm here to kidnap you," Luna said, which explained exactly nothing. She pulled what looked like a dollhouse version of their school trunks out of a pocket and sat it on the ground. Then she pulled out her wand and tapped it in the exact center. The trunk grew to full size with a pop. Luna opened the lid and gestured to the revealed space. "Will you be so kind as to get in this trunk, please?"
"I'm fairly certain that kidnappers aren't supposed to politely ask you to go with them."
"Duly noted," Luna commented before gesturing to the trunk again. "Get in, Harry. We have a schedule to keep."
"I can't go anywhere," Harry denied. He really couldn't, and now he definitely did not have time to remake the scones from scratch. "I don't have permission, and besides, I need to stay for the wards to recharge."
"Huh," Luna said. Her eyes glittered like beetle shells as she examined the lintels of the door. She frowned minutely before licking one and making a face like she had just swallowed a lemon. "I don't know who told you that there were wards here, but there's definitely not any nor has there ever been wards on this house."
"No," Harry denied. He shook his head to further deny it. All of the years that he had spent living with the Dursleys had to have been because of the wards. That was why everyone had insisted that he stayed last summer after the dementors attacked. That was why everyone had insisted that he had to come back this summer, even though they had all known about the Dursleys. "Dumbledore said that the wards—"
Harry cut himself off as a realization rushed over him. Dumbledore had never directly said that the wards existed. He had only implied that they did by saying that the Dursleys was the safest place for him, other than Hogwarts. As long as Harry called Number Four Privet Drive home, his mother's sacrifice would continue to protect him.
"Levi-OH-sar," Harry muttered to himself. Luna merely blinked at him, sleepily and slow like one of Mrs. Figg's cats. Harry returned the blink without hesitation, earning a dazzling smile from the Ravenclaw. "Magic is both intentional and literal."
"Yes," Luna agreed easily. "Magic is unpredictably predictable. It does what it will with what it is given to work with."
"There're no wards here," Harry said, looking around the entry hall in a daze. "There never were any."
"Yes," Luna agreed again before gesturing grandly to the still-open trunk. "Can we now proceed with the kidnapping? We really do have a schedule to keep."
"Oh, of course," Harry replied. With motions made sloppy by haste, he yanked off the apron he was wearing. He threw it into the hall without caring where it landed. It landed with a dull thud in front of the cupboard door, drawing his attention to something he had forgotten. "Should I bring my stuff? Hedwig is still out delivering my latest check-in letter to the Order."
"Are kidnapped people allowed to pack?" Luna tilted her head like Hedwig tended to do when she was about to nip. "I admit that I did not plan for that. I'll have everything needed, and post owls can always find their owners if they want to."
"Well, then," Harry said as he climbed into the trunk, "we have a schedule to keep."
"Knock four times if you need out before we get to our next stop," Luna instructed. After he had nodded his understanding, she closed the lid. The trunk was surprisingly comfortable. Harry thought that everyone would be traveling this way in the future.
-= LP =-
"What do you mean?" Albus asked as Remus paced the length of his office.
It probably would have been more private if they had met at headquarters, but until they could determine who had inherited, that was not a feasible option. The goblins would not tell any of them who inherited anything of the Black estate without reading Sirius' will, which Dumbledore had been hard-pressed to keep sealed by ministry decree given how many positions Fudge had managed to take from him. Thankfully, he had managed, even if just barely.
"I really don't know what is confusing about what I said," the werewolf answered, still pacing like an animal in a cage. His hands gestured agitatedly, going through those strange motions that Remus tended to use whenever he was talking. "Something was off about Harry's last letter. He didn't seem like himself, and he didn't ask when he could leave his relatives."
"Why would he ask to leave his relatives?" Albus asked, taking care to sound genuinely confused. "I made sure that he understood the need to stay there."
"Really? His relatives are horrid people," Remus said. "Petunia had always hated Lily, from the moment their parents had wed, and Lily having magic didn't help matters. After the way things blew up at Lily's wedding, I'm honestly surprised that Petunia agreed to take in Harry at all. There was a reason that Tonks, Arthur, and I had that talk with Vernon that we did, too."
"I wish you hadn't had done that," Albus countered. The sentiment had been repeated many times over the last few weeks. "It makes it seem like Harry's relatives are brutes."
"Albus, are you listening?" Remus demanded. "They seem that way because they likely are! If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is perfectly reasonable for it to actually be a duck."
"That is unfair," Albus argued mildly, "and surprising coming from you. There are those who have said the same about werewolves, you know."
"That is entirely irrelevant!" Remus protested. His eyes flashed gold before he forcibly calmed himself, visibly releasing tension with a gusty breath and a motion like he was pushing away the topic entirely. "We're getting distracted from the point. Harry sounded off, and I'm going to check on him in person."
"I wish you wouldn't," Albus warned. This time the gold was not a quickly hidden flash. It was steady as the metal it resembled and as bright as a phoenix's flame during a burning. Albus barely controlled his shudder as he held the beast's gaze.
"Honestly," Remus said with a voice as cold as a winter's moon, "I don't give a damn."
Then he turned on his heels and strode to the fireplace, barely giving the flames a chance to react to the Floo Powder before stepping into them.
-= LP =-
The sun was bright enough that Harry noticed immediately when a shadow blocked it. Luna didn't seem worried, however, as her fingers kept carding through his hair while she hummed that little pirate ditty she had grown so fond of since he had introduced her to it. Thus, he saw no reason to bother opening his eyes.
"Really, pup?" Remus asked. Nothing could mask the incredulity in his voice. Harry knew that if he had been watching, he would have seen the same feeling in his signing. "I have been worried sick and frantic to find you, and you're lounging on a beach in Greece?"
"I was kidnapped," Harry defended. He opened one eye to sneak a peek of Remus' face. The glower was enough to make him press closer to Luna momentarily before shifting in preparation of sitting up. Luna made a displeased sound at the motion. Harry stilled as her fingers tightened around his hair. "Luna?"
"I stole him," Luna declared. Her silvery eyes looked dangerously sharp as she glared up at Remus. Her voice turned soft, breathy in that way that it sometimes got when she was getting emotional. "I found him, alone and unprotected, and when I offered to take him away, he came willingly. Finders, keepers."
"You know it doesn't work like that," Remus scolded. He sounded more amused than annoyed now, even if Harry was just getting more confused. He had never seen this side of either of them. "You can't just claim people like they're pretty rocks on a footpath."
Harry's tongue darted out to wet his lips. The magic in the air tasted like a brewing storm. Harry knew he should be worried. After all, nothing good ever came of situations when magic was that thick and hot. Yet Harry felt himself relaxing against Luna's lap, like there wasn't anything to be worried about at all. His eyes slid to a lazy half-mast as he watched the byplay from his supine position.
"Maybe you can't," Luna retorted as her fingers returned to their gentle stroking. She tilted her smiling face towards him, and Harry felt his face returning the expression. "Besides, Harry's much prettier than any old rock and far more precious. Aren't you, love?"
"Oh," Harry breathed, uncertain of how to answer that. Even with as close as they had grown over the last year as they met up in hidden alcoves and abandoned classrooms, Harry wasn't certain how to deal with Luna looking at him like that. It was the same way that Alicia, Angelina, and Katie all looked at each other or how Dean and Seamus had, up until the last few days of this past school year when Seamus had looked like he had been crying and Dean had been sneaking off with Ginny. It looked like Luna might love him, as impossible as that was, and it was enough to make his brain stutter incoherently.
A growl, low and threatening, drew Harry's attention back to Remus.
"Mooney?" Harry asked. Remus snapped his gaze, werewolf gold instead of his normal brown, to meet Harry's instead of glaring at Luna. "Are you mad? I've been sending the letters like you said—"
"Oh, pup," Remus said. He crouched down near them on the beach. Luna gave a little growl of her own as he wrapped a hand around one of Harry's. "I'm not mad, pup. I was just worried when I went to check on you and you weren't at home." He gave a lopsided smile that would have been more at home on the face of his werewolf form. "I wasn't expecting to find you lounging on a beach, completely unharmed."
"Luna would never hurt me," Harry countered. "She was even polite as she kidnapped me, and the trunk was so comfortable!" Harry giggled, inexplicitly finding the whole situation funny all of a sudden. "You should really try it sometime!"
"You're magic-drunk," Remus told him calmly. Harry giggled again, unable to stop himself despite not understanding what was so funny. "Yeah, can't say that I blame you, pup. Your friend has quite the kick, doesn't she? And you've always been so sensitive to magic." Remus rubbed at Harry's hand. "But you don't have to stay, Harry, not if you don't truly want to."
"Luna had flowers in her hair," Harry murmured, because it suddenly seemed important that Remus know that. "Pink larkspurs, and they were so, so pretty. She had them on her dress, too. Do you know what larkspurs mean, Mooney?"
Something in the man's eyes flickered like sadness. Harry felt an echo of it in his own chest. He turned his face towards Luna's stomach. Suddenly, things didn't seem as funny as they had a few moments prior. Luna gave a gentle scratch behind his ear.
"You know it's not kidnapping if you go willingly," Remus said. "It's just running away from home."
"I don't get to run away," Harry said, the words muffled by the fabric of Luna's light pink dress. "I don't get to just leave. I can only be stolen."
Remus sighed gustily. Harry had only ever heard him sound like that around Sirius. He turned his head just enough to fix one eye on Remus.
"Pink larkspur, huh?" Remus asked before he fixed his gold eyes on Luna again. "If that ever changes—"
"Fairies don't give up what they take," Luna interrupted, sounding soft and sharp again, "but he won't be a prisoner again. As you say, Harry is not a bauble, no matter how pretty and precious he is. No more being locked up and mistreated."
"Best kidnapping ever," Harry agreed. "Ten out of ten. Would recommend."
"You're worse than Sirius when he's magic-drunk," Remus said with a shake of his head. "I will never understand how you managed to inherit so much of Sirius when it's clear that James was your father."
"Just lucky, I guess," Harry said. Luna gave an inelegant snort, drawing both their attention back to her.
"It couldn't possibly have anything to do with them being cousins," Luna said like it was obvious. "Black blood always shows itself, after all. Toujours Pur."
"I don't think that's what that means," Remus said carefully. Luna gave him a slow blink as she tilted her head.
"Daddy always said that magic works with both literal instruction and unspoken intention. Familial magic, even more so. I know the stories. Blacks tend to only feel one thing at a time and have difficulty changing paths. The purity of what they feel won't let them. Daddy said it was their greatest strength as well as their greatest weakness, and it always shows itself."
"Are you saying that Blacks are basically fairies?" Remus asked in shock.
"That's not a nice to call your wife," Harry muttered from Luna's lap. His words were smearing around the edges. "Tonks would stick you to the walls if she heard you talking like that."
"Tonks isn't my wife," Remus corrected. "We're not even dating."
"Yet," Harry corrected before devolving into another fit of giggles. He looked up at Luna. "He doesn't realize what it means when Tonks feeds him and lets him feed her."
"No, he doesn't," Luna agreed, "does he?"
"Maybe he needs to be kidnapped, too?"
The grin that Luna gave at that was full of fairy-sharp teeth and the promise of adventure.
"Finders, keepers," she declared.
-= LP =-
An Ending
-= LP =-