Ch 23- Downton Abbey at Christmas Time, Part I

December 1st, 1918

"Chwistmas twee Daddy! Chwistmas twee!" Charlie called excitedly from the sled his father pulled along in the freshly fallen snow.

"No I wanna pick the twee Daddy!" Charlotte begged, hoping he'd relent.

"Can I pick the twee Daddy?" Charlie whined.

Elsie giggled, nuzzling her husband as they walked arm-in-arm. "Our little lad and lass want to pick the tree Charlie, can Mummy pick it?"

"How about we all pick it together." Carson suggested.

Carson and Elsie looked back when they heard the twins begin to giggle, laughing at and poking each other from their place on the sled. The twins were bundled up and excited about a day in town with their parents, the kind of day they did not often get. The couple turned back to each other, smiling once more, stopping in the snow as she leaned into kiss him.

"Merry Christmas my Mrs. Carson." He whispered, his nose touching hers. She smiled warmly.

He was so happy he wanted to pick her up and twirl her around. They'd finally gotten there: the Christmas they'd been waiting for since they were first wed, with just the two of them and wonderful little children of their own. And while they'd had to wait for so long, Carson thought nothing about it could possibly be better than it was and that their twins and happy life were worth every moment of longing and uncertainty.

Still, he couldn't shake the thought that something was wrong with Elsie. He knew every bit of her intimately and it was clear to him that she was distraught. It consoled him greatly that she'd warmed to him again around Thanksgiving. The knowledge that she was still in love with him filled his heart with joy and a kind of calm he couldn't describe to you. But that didn't mean he still didn't worry about what had upset her so much, he knew it had to be significant and he longed to share in it with her.

Elsie was not feeling better much about the babies she'd lost, she never would, but had decided to do her best to make a show of it and pretend she was happy and fine. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her dear husband and she found she took some solace merely in loving him just as she had when they'd ached over their childlessness years before. She was determined it would be a happy Christmas.

"I love you so much Mr. Carson." She sighed into his mouth.

Charlotte saw the joy in her parent's faces, watching them carefully as they kissed in the snow and then continued on the walk hand in hand. It would be a moment she'd always remember, one that aptly told how in love they were.

Elsie sighed, laying her head on Carson's shoulder as they walked, still holding his hand tight, his mere presence as well as his embrace being just what she needed to soothe her. He tilted his head, resting it against hers knowing he needed to be closer than usual and wishing he understood why.

….

"Daddy will I be this tall when I get big?" Charlie asked, the pom-pom on the top of his little woolen hat bouncing.

Carson chuckled. "I certainly hope not my lad."

Charlie sat at top his father's broad shoulders as they window-shopped. He felt so high up in the air he thought he might fall. But the feeling its self was exhilarating. The small boy felt tall and strong and proud, like his Dad, for the first time having an inkling of what it might be like to be a man rather than a boy. Of course he was long from it. He was very little and his father held his legs in his hands ensuring that no matter what he could not fall.

"Why Daddy, I want to be like you!" He chimed. Carson beamed at the thought.

"My Charlie, you'll probably be just as tall as me, maybe."

"Why maybe?" He asked curiously, peering in the toy store window, seeing something he wanted.

"Because your mummy is short and I am tall, so for you it might balance out."

Charlie didn't understand his words entirely. "Nooo I wanna be like Daddy!" He said plainly, hugging his father's head.

Carson laughed. "Well I'm honored m'lad."

For now the twins, still toddlers, were about the same size. It was difficult to say if they had inherited their mother's short gene or their father's tall one just yet. Oftentimes, the twins kept pace with each other's height but lagged a bit behind Benjamin Crawley. Charlie was smart enough to find this strange, given his father's tall frame. To him it seemed logical that he should be the tallest of the three, like his Daddy. That was his Christmas wish: to get taller.

"Daddy I wanna be this tall as I am right now on your shoulders." Charlie announced, causing his father to laugh.

"No, no you don't my lad." He said, reaching up to guard his son's head, ducking a little as they walked under a beam. "That's a bit too tall."

…

"Wow." Benjamin cried. His eyes sparkled at the sight of the great big tree its the lights went on for the first time.

Benjamin Crawley was in awe. He barely recalled last year's tree but found this one absolutely amazing. He wished Sybil and the twins were there to share it with him.

"It is a wow isn't it my love?" Cora whispered, getting on her knees to talk to her littlest one.

She was in awe of it too, finding it so much more beautiful than the candlelit tree she'd known for the bulk of her life. Ben simply nodded, his eyes transfixed on the twinkling lights. A future Lord, the child lived in splendor but there was something about this that enchanted him. He watched as his older sisters, Mary and Edith, kept about the work of hanging more ornaments, realizing the tree was a truly special thing if Mary were putting aside her continual dramas for the day to simply be happy with the family. Ben yelped in surprise when his mother put him on her hip. He watched carefully as she picked up an ornament, this one a crisp apple red color that shined brightly under the light of the tree it spun clockwise, hanging freely from its hook and reached out to touch it.

"Would you like to hang this one my love?" She asked. He nodded slowly and his mother lifted him up, helping him to place the ornament high above his own head.

"Wow." He muttered again. Cora giggled, bringing him back into her arms and kissing his cheek before grabbing another ornament.

"Punch? Who wants punch?" Robert asked excitedly.

"Here, here." Mary muttered.

"I will." Edith agreed.

"Cora, Benjamin?" He asked.

Cora shot him an angry glare and Robert laughed.

"Oh yes that's right." He laughed, kissing his son's head. "Hot chocolate for Ben then, right."

"Yes." Cora called. "And remember what the doctor said Robert, easy on the punch."

…..

"Do you see anything you like my lad?" Elsie whispered.

Charlie said nothing for a moment because the answer was everything and nothing. The Carson boy always found his trips to the toy store overwhelming. There was so much to choose from and he never knew what he wanted. Charlotte always made a beeline for the books and the dolls, Benjamin always fancied the trains… but it wasn't quite that easy for Charlie who had an interest in a great many things. In the coming years, the boy would come to understand that things he'd be passionate about in life had not yet come to fruition and were just making their beginnings in the world, as he was.

"Mummy there's a lot." He told her.

"Oh yes my Charlie I know." She giggled, lifting him into her arms. "You don't much like trains do you?"

"Hmmm they're alright."

He liked the trains he had but he didn't see much he could do with them.

Meanwhile Charlotte had found a doll and a book and made her way excitedly back to her father's side.

"Daddy read!" Her eyes sparkled, handing him the story.

If there was one thing the Carson's had it was books. But Charlotte never tired of hearing them.

"Of course my lass." He took her on his lap and opened to the first page. "But first what letter is that?"

"C!"

Charlie looked over at his sister impatiently. He enjoyed his father's storytelling but by far liked things that required activity over reading. It was one of the reasons why he'd always enjoyed following his mother around as she went about her work. In hindsight, Elsie could remember feeling two little feet happily kicking about particularly when she was going on her rounds (while pregnant) and figured this must have been her baby Charlie.

"Charlie what about this?"

"What's that?" He asked, grasping for the toy from his place on his mother's hip. He'd never seen one before and noted that it was like a train or a car in some way, but like a bird in another.

"It's an airplane my love."

"Airpwane." The three year old repeated the word.

"It flies, and see him in there, that little man flies it."

"Uh-uh!"

"Yes, yes he does, see."

"Uh-uh Mummy you're just trying to fool Charlie!"

"No my love, he does."

Charlie looked back at the plane stunned; the look of mystification that played on his face resembled her husband's so soundly it almost startled her.

"Men really do fly airplanes." She continued, watching as the boy's eyes sparkled at her explanation. "Does my lad like the sound of that?' She asked and he nodded quickly, his eyes remaining on the plane.

…..

"My how they've grown!"

The twins had no idea who this man was; just that he was so enamored with how big they'd gotten in the past year. Charlie raised his little eyebrow in irritation at the man's words as his mother put him on his feet and took his hand. He did not think he'd grown quite enough.

"He farms and sells the Christmas trees." Their mother gently explained, taking their hands and guiding them into the patch of tall evergreens.

To Elsie it was just that, a patch of trees in the middle of town, but being so small; the twins were, at first glance, completely amazed by the throng of wilderness all around them and looked up in awe at what they perceived to be a real forest… the kind in fairy tales.

"Mummy they're too big!" Charlotte squeaked with surprise.

"Some of them are too big and others will be an bit small but there will be one that's just right."

"You pwomise?" Charlotte asked.

"Mummy promises."

Carson came a moment later, the family's small sled in tow. Elsie took each of her twin's hands again and walked alongside her husband.

"Mr. Carson your children think all the trees are too big or too small." She laughed.

"Well I promise my lad and lass there will be at least one that's just right."

Charlie, who walked to his mother's right, reached out and brushed the tree branches with his tiny hands as they walked. Charlotte was growing a little nervous; the trees came closer together and with the density of the foliage came darkness. She was scared and clung to both of her mother's hands eagerly.

Carson's heart swelled with a now familiar sense of pride. Always having been the one to choose Downton's massive tree, he'd waited so long to have a home and a tree of his own. This was his third year, but his first picking out something with the whole family.

"Hmm, Mrs. Carson?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow. She nodded once with a smile, agreeing with his choice.

"Mr. Carson it's perfect. Charlie, Charlotte, look what Daddy chose."

"Oooh." Charlie marveled.

"Pwetty." Charlotte pointed.

The tree was lush, and full but far less impressive than the one that had been unveiled to Benjamin Crawley earlier in the day but the twins loved it all the same.

…

Charlotte blinked, the cold air hitting her eyes full on. It was her turn to ride atop her father's shoulders and she was not so sure she liked it much. He held her leg with one hand and pulled the sled with the other while she held on tight to him. Charlie kept his mother's hand, her other arm occupied with shopping bags.

"Hungry mummy." Charlie whispered, his stomach rumbling audibly.

"I know m'lad, but soup will be on when we get back, perhaps you can help your mum?" He nodded enthusiastically.

Charlotte shivered atop her father's shoulders.

"Lass I know you're cold, but we'll warm you up soon."

"Charlie, it's going to snow." Elsie said matter of factly, pulling her hand away from her son and putting his hood atop his head.

She'd sewn pointed little rabbit like ears on the hood of the twin's woolen coats. Carson thought they were a particularly ridiculous detail but Elsie found them cute, and the twins thought them funny.

"Not today Elsie I…" Carson paused, the first snowflake beginning to fall as they approached the house.

"Run Charlie, run ahead of Mummy." Elsie encouraged.

Charlotte simply blinked, watching as her mother and brother hurried toward the house. 'So I get snowed on too.' She thought.

"Daddy no snow." She protested.

"I thought you liked snow my little love."

"Not when it snows on Charlotte." She pouted, pulling her hood up over her head.

Elsie and Charlie made their way inside the house long before Carson and Charlotte. The little girl clung to her father's head as they walked, the soft glow of the home's warm light lit their path as the snow started to sprinkle across the landscape all around them. Carson put down the sled's handle when he got to their door and lifted Charlotte off his shoulders and high into the air. She giggled audibly and squealed so loud Elsie could hear it from inside the house. She peered out the window, smiling inside at the sight of her husband and little girl in the snow. Carson held her up still, lowering her just enough to where he could kiss her forehead. He smiled deeply gazing up into the falling snow and the look of pure bliss on his daughter's face as she giggled, covering her eyes and squealing.

"Daddy loves you so much my little lass." He whispered, kissing her cheek before taking her back in the house.

…

December 14th, 1918

"Thank you for making time to bake with them Mrs. Patmore." Elsie called from the kitchen doorway, her words ignored by her friend and her little ones.

Elsie noted how good of a time they were having and decided to leave them and continue with her work. She and Cora had decided to send nanny home for Christmas and had both had to find a way to manage without her. Ben wasn't much of a problem for his mother, but the twins were for theirs. It was one of the busiest times of year in the house and the two could easily make a mess or get into some other kind of mischief that changed the whole dynamic of their mother's day. Elsie found she needed more help, without the nanny there, than she could've ever bargained for. Charlie took them in the mornings, then as his day got busier they went to Mrs. Patmore and helped her make lunch, after which they spent a couple of hours with Cora (hours that, despite the fact that she cared deeply for Charlie and Charlotte, always left the countess thankful she'd never had twins), and then finally they spent the remaining eighteen hours of the day left in the care of their over-burdened, but devoted mother.

Elsie could hear the piano playing in the distance as she ascended the staircase and made her way through the green baize door to the main floor of the house. She was happy that someone sat down to play; it always made the place, and her tiring work there seem so much happier. She smiled, focusing on the glow of the Christmas lights as she crossed by Downton's mammoth tree, forgetting, for a moment, to look where she was going.

"Oh!" She cried, startled when she felt herself hit something.

Her husband's happy laughter met her ears before she even looked his way.

"Oh." She gasped. "Charlie."

He took her hands in his own and kissed them softly, holding them tight and gesturing upward toward the dangling mistletoe that hung overhead causing her smile to brighten. Carson leaned down, her hands in his own as his lips brushed hers with a kiss that was at first very gentle. Slowly, she stood on her tiptoes to meet him as she snaked her tongue carefully into his mouth. He deepened the kiss, dropping her hands and instead gently taking her face in his hands, caressing it gently.

His kiss took her breath away; he'd never kissed her like this in public before, let alone in the middle of Downton where anyone could see. She didn't realize he'd been panicked about her behavior toward him and was relieved she still loved him. For that reason, he wanted to show her; in every possible way how intently he loved her… even if that met sharing a passionate kiss where anyone could see.

He didn't pull away when the kiss ended and instead, leaned his forehead carefully against hers. He pulled her in closer to him, wrapping his arms around her small frame as he started to sing:

"If you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy…"

She stopped him again, stifling his words with another kiss.

"Dashing away with the smoothing iron, she stole my heart away." She chuckled, her Scottish brogue somehow very sharp in these words, as they were when she had a cold. It took Carson a moment to realize she was crying.

"Oh yes, oh yes she stole my heart away one summer day, that's just what she did." He whispered, beginning to dance with her close as the piano played gently in the background.