Ch 27- Trial

*Note the first scene is rated M

March 1919

Elsie moaned tilting her head as he pursued her, snaking her tongue inside of his mouth ever so gently as he ran his hands up her sides, sending chills down her spine and all through her very core.

"Ch-Charlie." She breathed not pulling away from his lips.

"Oh Els-Elsie." He muttered, placing his lips on her ear and beginning to kiss all down her jaw to her neck and down to her cleavage.

"Charlie, Charlie." She muttered quietly, digging her nails into his back.

"Oh my Elsie." He whispered, redirecting his lips back to hers. "My precious Elsie. My beautiful Elsie."

She stared into his eyes for a moment, watching as the glow of the fire played carefully on the side of his face. The two were eager to be close and had tried to refrain from making love; afraid it would hurt the baby who was just beginning to show. Ultimately though, they'd failed and fallen into each other's arms. They made love slowly, gently, carefully even. To Elsie, this made it all the better. She felt so treasured in her place in his arms, so filled with love she could burst from the depth of her heart: she wanted to stay there, that way with him forever.

"My Charlie." She whispered. "My Charlie how I love thee."

"My Elsie how I love you more." He whispered.

She started kissing him again, feeling him cup her bust gently in his hands. She gasped into his mouth, feeling something strange as he touched her. Tenderly or not, it hurt, and brought tears to her eyes instantly. It was a new, unfamiliar feeling that she knew wasn't right in less than an instant and so did he. After twenty-three-years of marriage, he knew his wife's body well and this felt foreign to him, it felt wrong.

"Oh-ouch!" She cried out an instant later.

"What?!" He asked with a panic.

"Here." She said, taking his hand in her own and placing it on her bare belly, the pain in her breast forgotten in just a moment when she felt the baby flutter inside her for the first time, her breath taken away.

"Oh Charlie you feel that?" She cried. "He moved! Oh Charlie he moved! Our baby's real and he's alright and he moved!"

Carson paused, relishing the feel of his tiny, unborn child moving against his hand. He'd waited so many years to share these moments with her and the baby's first kick took him by such surprise. Neither of them thought it was time yet; she was only four months pregnant.

"It's so beautiful my Mrs. Hughes." He whispered, tears coming to her eyes.

"That's Mrs. Carson to you." She corrected, tilting her head to kiss him again.

…

Early April 1919

"It's a lad alright." Beryl chuckled, watching Elsie snack as she cooked. Elsie was almost half way through the pregnancy now and had already gotten very round. It had happened suddenly and Carson thought she was going to burst.

"Now why do you say that?" He asked, seeming offended by suggestion.

"Be careful." Elsie warned. "Mr. Carson wants another wee baby lass, he won't hear any of that baby lad stuff from you."

"No I won't. It's a myth that her snacking habits have anything to do with if it's a boy or girl, so quit calling my daughter a boy Mrs. Patmore, really."

She sighed. "Authority is sometimes wasted on the wrong people, I'd bet my pots and pans that baby's a boy!"

"It's a myth."

"Well she was right the first time." Elsie reminded, biting into a pickle.

"Of course she was right!" Carson cried. "We had a boy and a girl the last time!" Carson was growing angry now. "You would've been right no matter what you said! And I'm the one who asked Dr. Clarkson at least three times if there was a chance it was twins and he said no! You ladies should listen to me, perhaps there's a chance I might know something around here."

"Then perhaps you should listen to the mother." Elsie said, caressing her stomach as she continued to eat. She agreed with Beryl and thought it was a boy.

"I hate to interrupt, but Lord Grantham is asking for Mrs. Carson, it seems Sargent Willis is upstairs." Thomas announced, poking his head in the door, a satisfied, smug smile played upon his lips, lingering as he waited for a reply, as if to suggest Elsie had been caught doing something wrong.

"Sargent Willis what could he want?" Carson was immediately concerned.

"Thomas tell his Lordship I'll be up as quickly as I can." She said, beginning to get out of her chair.

Carson went to help her, searing pain coming when he accidently grazed her breast while trying to grab her arm. She bit her lip, turning away from her husband. He didn't notice but Beryl did. The cook raised an eyebrow, immediately concerned.

Carson followed his wife upstairs and into the library, deciding that wherever she went he too would go. While not even six months, the curve of her belly seemed to go before her as she walked and the mere idea of it made Robert jump when they walked into the room. He wished he hadn't asked her to come all the way upstairs but saw no other choice. He stood by his desk while Cora and Sargent Willis sat on the two settees across from each other.

"Oh El-Mrs. Carson." Cora caught herself. "Please, sit down." Cora insisted, fluffing up a pillow for her friend's back.

"T-thank you m'lady… what's this all about?" She asked; concerned suddenly when she realized Lord Grantham looked upset, a prospect that made Carson uncomfortable as well. Elsie took a seat next to her friend and across from the Sargent, Carson stood behind her.

"If you'll forgive me, m'lord I should like to stay for my wife's inquiry."

"No, no, no inquiry… well, not for Mrs. Carson." The Sargent soothed.

"If only that were entirely true." Robert sighed.

"Mrs. Carson, we've brought you here because you've been called as a witness: to testify against Mr. Bates in his trial two weeks from now."

"Me? Why me I don't know anything about…"

"They seem to think you do."

"Sargent Willis. I really don't know much and moreover, I'm unwilling to testify against Mr. Bates. I don't think him capable of what he's been accused of."

"Nor do I." Robert explained quietly, "But I've been given no choice either."

"Mrs. Carson, Lord Grantham, as I've explained to several other witnesses your testimony might help him."

"With all due respect." Elsie began. "I don't feel much up to taking a trip to London. The baby won't come until summer but she's already growing very fast and I'm getting tired, I should think it would be more so two weeks from now."

Carson stayed silent but was against the idea immediately.

"Robert, I think you should get Murray on the phone." Cora suggested thinking of the estate's attorney.

"It won't do you much good." Willis told him.

"Now see here!" Robert charged and Willis put his hand up.

"I'm sorry Lord Grantham, it's out of my hands and I'm merely telling you as it is: I wouldn't want a man to have to testify against his friend, or for Mrs. Carson, in her condition to have to be quizzed on something she wanted no part in. That's just the way it's going to have to be."

…

Elsie could tell her husband and Lord Grantham were both fuming when he saw Sargent Willis out. She remained in her place on the lounge and must have been staring off into space for a few moments because she felt Cora grab her hand and squeeze it.

"Elsie we'll do everything we can to keep you from having to go. I wouldn't want to go in your condition either, it's wrong and who knows how you'll feel in a couple of weeks."

Elsie sighed. "Don't tell Mr. Carson, but perhaps I should be there for Anna anyway?"

"Maybe. But Mary and Matthew do plan on going."

"R-really?" She couldn't hide her surprise. Cora simply nodded. "O'Brien is going too."

"I find this all very curious what could she possibly know? Next they'll be calling on the children to testify."

Elsie paused, realizing the children might actually know more than she, all three of them, specifically Benjamin, spent time with Bates, a kind man who doted on them. Elsie left Cora and Robert alone to talk to their attorney and began her journey back downstairs, running to Mrs. Crawley, who'd just arrived, on the way.

"Mrs. Carson."

"Yes Mrs. Crawley." She greeted with a smile.

"You had a maid at Downton, the one that came into the dining room."

"Oh, Ethel, yes."

Elsie had lost touch with Ethel over the last several months and ironically, hadn't thought of her much since becoming pregnant.

"Well, she showed up at one of the centers where I work and tried to speak with me but ran away before we could really talk." Isobel informed, Elsie's heart skidded to a low thud, her stomach sinking at the thought the girl had turned to that kind of life. "Do you have an address for her?"

"If she's still there, yes. Please come downstairs, I'll try to find it for you."

….

Heavy rains blanketed the landscape that night and for that reason, Elsie did not feel like walking home. She had to work late anyway and so as a result, they stayed in their quarters in the abbey. Carson took Charlotte's hand and placed Charlie on his shoulders not long after dinner, taking the twins upstairs for a story and their bedtime, telling them it would be a fun evening, a night spent alone with dad… not that he needed to explain that to get them excited about the prospect.

Elsie remained alone in the kitchen with Beryl and was considering asking her something when there was a sudden knock on the backdoor. The women exchanged glances, wondering whether or not they should answer at this time of night. Finally Elsie braved it and when she opened the door there stood Ethel, shivering and soaking wet.

"You're soaked the bone!" She gasped. "Where's the baby?"

"My neighbor's watching him." She said; her arms folded tightly around herself in a big hug.

"Ethel…"

"Please just a little something to tide me over."

"You know I shouldn't be feeding you out of the kitchen." She said.

Elsie sighed, wishing she could more easily access food from her own kitchen, but realizing she'd rather have Cora mad at her for feeding Ethel from her kitchen than Charlie from theirs: Cora would be far more forgiving and Charlie would be livid if she led Ethel to their home… especially given what she'd now become. Elsie didn't see Ethel as dirty, or marked: she just felt all the worse for her.

"Wait here, I'll collect what I can and please, try not to catch cold Ethel."

Elsie came back to the door within a couple of minutes, a small bag of food in hand.

"Please remember I can not make a habit of feeding you, although I'd like to. Mrs. Crawley is looking for you, she says she saw you this morning and you're welcome to pay her a visit."

"Yes but… what she wants and how I want to go about things they're…"

Elsie sighed. "She can help you in ways I cannot: ways you must be brave enough to chance, if not for you then for your son."

"Well that's just it: I want you to write to the Bryant's. I want them to take Charlie."

"We've been down that road…" She reminded, growing cold now. Ethel put her head down and Elsie sighed. "We'll see where we are after you visit Mrs. Crawley.

Elsie closed the door, slightly shaken, cold and full of resentment. She didn't want to deal with Mr. Bates and Ethel when it was supposed to be a happy time, and worse, when she had something on her own heart she didn't want to face.

"Mrs. Patmore, Beryl… will you step into my sitting room."

"This is about this morning, idn't it?" She asked nervously and Elsie nodded just once.

…..

"It's a lump alright." Beryl confirmed, her heart racing. 'How can this be happening?' She wondered, careful not to think aloud. 'She's pregnant, she's happy…'

Elsie was crying openly now and the cook placed her arms around her friend.

"I'm pregnant! What about the baby, if I am sick what happens to him?" She sobbed. She was afraid that if it was cancer and she was going to die, the disease would take over her baby's growing body too.

Mrs. Patmore said nothing; nearly stunned by the question: she had no idea how that worked or what to think about it.

"We need to go see the doctor: you and I will go in the morning." Beryl said trying her best to be the strong one even though she was terrified too and never the most rational person in the room. "Does Mr. Carson know?"

Elsie shook her head no but truthfully she wasn't sure. That was how she'd first felt it, when he'd touched her breast weeks before: it had grown since then and hurt much more.

"If I'm sick what happens to all my babes, to my husband?" Elsie started to cry and then sob at the thought of her Mr. Carson all alone with her poor orphaned baby Charlie and Charlotte. "I don't want to leave my babies." She sobbed.

"Shuuu, it'll be alright. We'll go see the doctor in the morning and see what he has to say. Better money to the doctor than an undertaker right?" She asked.

Elsie just stared at her for a few moments and then continued sobbing.

"Mrs. Patmore if that's an example of your bedside manner…."

….

"Are you any more tired than normal?" Dr. Clarkson asked.

"Of course I am, I'm five months pregnant." Elsie defended, Beryl sitting beside her.

It was cold and raining still. Elsie shook, both out of fear and the fact that she was freezing. She felt it a bit odd, being examined with Beryl at her side but supposed that it was no different than giving birth with Beryl at her side wish she'd done and planned to do again in just a matter of months.

"It's most assuredly a lump but I don't think its cancer."

"See." Beryl said. "He says it's very, very unlikely."

"Mrs. Patmore if the doctor can talk to me like an adult…"

"I'm going to take a tissue sample, send it back to the lab for analysis… we won't know much for a few weeks."

Elsie gulped. "What about the baby if I am sick will he…"

"If you are ill we will give you lots of extra vitamins just for the baby; but I really think he should be fine no matter what happens to you and that you'll be fine too. It's most likely a benign cyst and if it is I'll remove it once we find out. Now are you ready, I must warn you: this will hurt." He cautioned.

Elsie nodded, not saying a word. What did it matter that it hurt, it had to be done. She took Beryl's hand and squeezed tight as he started to extract the tissue from the side of her breast, biting her lip as tears streamed down her cheeks, eventually placing her face in Beryl's shoulder as she started to cry again, not out of pain but in sheer panic. Panic she would keep from her husband.

…

Two Weeks Later

"I don't like it." Carson shook his head, buttoning her coat over her now even bigger belly and placing his hands there, feeling the baby kick.

The Carson baby had increased in activity over the last couple of weeks and was a constant presence in his mother's life now that he was six months. She was overburdened and more worried than she thought she'd ever been: as a result, his little tumbles and kicks were of more comfort to her than she could phrase. It was nice to have a constant comfort, a vibrant little life growing inside her, obviously happy and healthy when she lived in perpetual fear that her own life was about to be snuffed out too soon.

"Well I don't like it either but there's nothing you can do about it. Do you feel that little one, Daddy's trying to keep us warm lad."

"But Elsie your condition..." He protested, feeling helpless now.

Her head snapped up when he said this and her breath caught in her throat and suddenly she realized he'd been referring to her condition in being pregnant not her possible condition of having cancer. She wouldn't know for sure for another two weeks time.

"I know." She sighed, rubbing her midsection

"It's not right." He said. "Forcing a woman in your condition to come all the way to London to testify! Its just…"

She sighed. "I know, but I must be there for Anna."

"Yes, but as the baby lass' father, she does not have my permission to attend."

"Mummy has to go so, so does she."

"Elsie, whatever you do, please don't get too upset." He said, caressing her stomach gently. "If you'd been here I would've…"

"Just take care of my work and our little ones, I'll worry about this one. He and I will be fine."

"Just don't let him get too upset, Mummy." He kissed her forehead. "He needs his strength and his peace."

"I do think he's a boy." Elsie whispered.

"Whoever he is, just make sure he and mummy take good care of one another today." He smiled.

"Mrs. Carson." Robert smiled as he came down the stairs, hating to interrupt the tender moment between the couple.

"Your lordship." Carson was surprised he'd come downstairs.

"The car is waiting; I've come to collect Mrs. Carson and to assure you that I will personally take care of her on our journey."

Cora and Robert were upset she had to go, and moreover, word had gotten back to them, via Carson who knew something was wrong but didn't admit it, that his wife might be ill. Carson didn't suspect cancer, figuring she'd have told him. He thought something was wrong with the pregnancy, but his mind kept lingering back to the lump he'd felt in his hands; the one he'd known was not normal, and deep inside he knew that's what it was.

Carson kissed his wife goodbye as he helped her into the car.

"I love you." He whispered. "Please don't press yourself too much. Don't worry." He gazed into her eyes.

"I love you more." She whispered. "Because you love me so."

"Oh my darling, I do love you so." He whispered, kissing her nose.

"Carson, don't worry. I'll take good care of her." Robert assured, patting his arm as the car, containing Elsie, Robert, Mary, Matthew, O'Brien, Anna and Mrs. Crawley, sped off.

"And take care of you all we will." Cora assured from her place behind Carson. "If something's wrong we'll care for you all." Cora was hurt too and wished she knew what to think of her friend's probable condition.

He stood there, tears streaming down his cheeks, not wanting to admit how afraid he was. He was petrified when he should've been happy and so on top of fear, he was full of resentment.

"Thank you, m'lady." He gave a halfhearted smile and walked back into the house, heavyhearted.

….

Elsie was very touched with how Lord Grantham helped her every step of the way, easing her into her seat on the train and making sure she was comfortable before sitting across from her, Anna at her side, Mrs. Crawley at his. O'Brien sat by herself a few feet away, Mary and Matthew sat on their own as well.

"Thank you your lordship, this lad isn't so wonderful for his mum's back."

"August?" Isobel asked, smiling at the thought of another baby. Every so often she spent time with Benjamin and her godchildren, Charlie and Charlotte, usually having them over for tea.

"Early August." Elsie smiled halfheartedly, hoping that by then she'd still be alive to bear her baby, and that she'd have the knowledge she was going to live to see him grow up.

Isobel cringed but didn't say why, deciding not to tell her friend that summer babies were often harder on their mothers: the heat made them swell and get miserable, in her experience. Meanwhile, Elsie made Robert nervous because she looked much further along than she was, in some way almost ready to burst.

"It's twins again isn't it?" He asked Isobel quietly while Elsie tried to comfort Anna.

"Dr. Clarkson thinks not." Isobel merely said.

…..

Robert's uneasy feeling about Mrs. Carson continued all throughout their journey and peaked during her time on the stand. She seemed flush and nervous as they pressed her, and wondered if the look on her face bore any resemblance to his own when testifying, for he felt certainly flush, nervous, flustered and angry all at once.

Lord Grantham would never forget the sounds that filled the room when the judgment was made that day. The look on his friend's face, the slamming of the gavel and the way that Anna cried out in utter anguish would never leave him, or any of them.

Both he and Elsie had been manipulated on the stand. He felt awful for it and terrified for his friend, but Mrs. Carson was just devastated and kept apologizing to Anna. After a long meeting with Murray they were once again on the train on their way home. Isobel held Anna in her arms as she cried and Robert sat consoling Elsie, glad that the extreme upset of the day hadn't caused her to go into labor, he'd heard that could happen and because of her previous miscarriage he was worried about it.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Carson?" He asked, bringing her a glass of orange juice he'd gotten.

"Yes. I think so, m'lord."

"It wasn't our fault you must know that." He told her.

"I do… but I could've done something more. I feel like it's my fault he's guilty."

'Ha done something more.' Robert thought. He was a Lord and he felt helpless.

"It's not." Anna assured through her tears. "Neither of you, you couldn't have done anything further."

Elsie was surprised at how well he was caring for her, personally waiting on her, asking if she was alright, helping her sit, getting her something to drink… she wouldn't have supposed he knew how to do that and moreover she was his maid it was shocking he would do it, even though he was a kind man who she'd known for many, many years. But technically she was also his wife's good friend…

"I know you don't think it will be alright but I promise you." Robert began, the pretense of strength soothing him. "I will not rest until John Bates is a free man."

Elsie's stared off into space, wondering if she'd ever be alright again, the angst in her heart was unbearable and she couldn't help but think that she'd slipped on the stand, while so upset about her own well-being, and changed Mr. Bates' destiny in the process.