Ch 30- Carousel

Late May 1919

Elsie groaned, muttering something in Gaelic as she rolled over.

"Elsie my love, are you alright?" He asked, rolling back over to his side of the bed and turning on the light.

"I'm alright and I'll be better once I get your giant baby out of me." She winced as she confided. "Oooh, Charlie how big can he get?!"

"Well you're not as big as you were with the twins…"

"They were twins! It isn't the same…"

Carson sighed, not wanting to start an argument about his belief that she was having twins once again. "Well, you only have..."

"Ten weeks and four days... or something like that." She said.

He raised an eyebrow; surprised with the specificity of the timing she gave. He didn't think they could predict it quite that accurately.

"That's not..."

"It's a long time!" She cried.

Carson sighed, helping her get a drink of water. He couldn't imagine nearly eleven more weeks of this. She was miserable enough already. It was then he recalled that Elsie probably wouldn't carry the baby all the way to the due date anyway. She been early with the twins and because of this child's size, Dr. Clarkson thought this baby would be early too. Realistically, they could have as little as six weeks and he strongly thought they did.

"It will happen soon enough." He reassured. "But for now, I think it's high time that you started to take it easy."

Elsie had been pushing herself hard lately and he didn't like it. He was afraid she would make herself ill or even hurt the baby.

"I have been!"

"No, you have not." He shook his head. "Starting tomorrow I think we'll have some serious changes at Downton and around here...at the house, you will sit in the kitchen with Mrs. Patmore and..."

"Good Lord no, Charlie she'll just keep feeding me!"

He gave an annoyed sigh. "On and off then. I just mean no going up and down the stairs so much, what if you fell? You could really hurt yourself and the baby. Command from your sitting room and send Anna up to inspect, it's what I would do!"

She laughed. "What you would do. I couldn't imagine that!"

"I insist Mrs. Carson. And after the twins leave, lots of rest, putting your feet up, no more cooking and no more Ethel."

"Oh but Charlie..."

"And one more thing: I don't know if it's a good idea, in your condition, to open up the servant's ball this year..."

"Lord Grantham and I always do its tradition! I'll be fine for the one dance." She promised, almost laughing and he sighed painfully. Carson just had a feeling she should slow down and he wished she'd listen. "Aren't you looking forward to the dance?"

"Well yes but…"

Carson paused, deciding not to tell her it wasn't the dance with her he was most looking forward to, although he thought she already knew that. This year, another woman had his heart and he found himself beyond excited about his time at the ball with her. His heart flipped at the thought of her tiny feet settling on top of his as he swayed her across the dance floor the first time, the sound of her laughter and the light in her bright blue eyes as she giggled. Deep inside, Carson suspected he would never dance with Charlotte at her wedding, or walk her down the aisle and in case he was right, he intended on making every little memory with her (and Charlie too) that he could: including being her first dance.

"Are you alright?" She asked, looking over at him.

He paused for a moment before returning to the subject of their impending baby. "Well, truthfully Mrs. Hughes if someone had told me about the backaches, the food cravings that went along with becoming a father..."

"Charlie those are my symptoms." She giggled, wondering what he was getting at.

"N-not quite. I have them all now too..."

Elsie laughed at his admission and kissed his cheek. "Oh you poor man!"

"No, I feel horrible for you, especially when the indigestion sets in."

"Mr. Carson, we may be miserable, but we'll be quite fine I promise." She

smiled, settling back into her pillows.

Carson sighed, reaching over to turn off the light again before laying down beside her. She was right. Thinking about dancing with his Charlotte for the first time, put the misery of pregnancy that even he felt, into perspective: it was a labor of love.

"Even so, Mrs. Carson, I am sorry for what you have to go through to have our child, it makes me feel all the more unworthy of you."

She sighed, partly asleep now as she laid her head against his shoulder. "Oh Charlie, nothing in the world could be more perfect for me than you."

...

The Next Morning

"I don't like this one it's a bit…. it's a bit tart." Elsie said, pausing for a moment as she put her fork down.

Beryl put her hand on her hip, a little affronted by her friend's newly found discerning pallet.

"Well you don't like any of them and whose letting you choose anyway you liked the pickle I gave you earlier covered in salt!"

"Mrs. Patmore we all know that's the best way to eat them." Elsie rolled her eyes.

She'd had enumerable odd cravings lately. Beryl couldn't believe they were becoming as extreme as they were, that Elsie didn't seem to notice, and that somehow she was only gaining weight around her middle. Beryl was trying to decide on a recipe for something for the upcoming servant's ball and for this reason found no help from Elsie. It was why Carson had brought up her cravings the previous evening. He shared some of them and others baffled him.

Beryl sighed. "You have the oddest cravings, I'm telling you if that baby's not a lad it'll be the surprise of a lifetime for me."

Elsie was about to ask what baby boys had to do with odd cravings when Jimmy walked by and without a word left the abbey's mail on the table at her side.

"Ooh the top one's something Mr. Carson's been expecting. I'll be right back."

Elsie paused in the doorway of her husband's pantry, watching as the twins giggled a mile a minute. They were playing a game with their father and both sat on his lap. Elsie smiled deeply as she watched the three play and laugh together, reflecting on what a perfect father he was and how wonderful life could be.

"Oh look it's your beautiful mummy. " Carson smiled, turning the twins' attention away from the game on his desk and to their mother.

"Hi mummy!" They squealed almost in unison.

"Hello my loves, I've been meaning to ask for a while now. How would my little lad and lass like to go to the fair?"

They'd just got word that a fair was coming to town in a few days and the house was all abuzz about it, well, parts of it were.

"Yay!" The twins clapped as their father eyed their mother disapprovingly, almost wanting to ask her what she'd started.

"Mummy I want go!" Charlotte cried.

"Me too, me too!" Charlie agreed, bouncing excitedly.

"Charles." Carson warned his son. "Calm down."

"Excited Daddy!" He explained.

"Pwease we want to go Daddy." Charlotte added.

"Yeah fun!" Charlie clapped as they climbed out of their dad's lap and went to their mother who bent down to see them as best as she could.

The twins had never been to a fair or anything like it, but they'd heard Daisy say that it was fun, that there were rides, games, ponies and candy and it was not to be missed! Carson sighed, looking back at his family. Sometimes, he felt overwhelmed by his three almost-redheads and outnumbered by their enthusiasm about things, an enthusiasm he didn't share.

"I'll think about it..." He hesitated, getting out of his chair.

"Alright my lad and my lass." Elsie smiled, bending down as best she could and kissing each of the children's faces. "Daddy will think about it isn't that exciting?"

"Yay!" They cheered.

"Daisy is going to take you back to nanny now. Mummy will come and pick you up before dinner."

Carson and Elsie lovingly said goodbye to the twins before sending them upstairs with Daisy.

"Daddy pwease." Charlotte had asked again when she kissed his cheek and Daisy took her hand.

"Daddy'll think about it, he promises."

"Daddy I wanna go, I wanna go!" Charlie burst when he bid farewell to his father.

"Calm down my boy. Daddy will think about it. Now hurry, get with you." He teased, kissing the little boy and tickling his ribs, causing him to giggle aloud. Carson smiled, sending his son on his way with Daisy and his sister.

"You're a good Daddy Charlie. But sometimes I wish you'd just make time for things other than work." She said, beginning to open her own mail. "Take the time, celebrate with your children, with your happy little children that they are alive and well and so am I!" She wanted to go to the fair for this reason alone.

"Well when you put it that way it…what's wrong?" He almost jumped, noting the look on her face when she opened the letter she was holding. He was scared to death that it had something to do with her test results and that Clarkson had been wrong in saying she was fine.

"Charlie I've gotten a letter!" Her expression turned suddenly from one of shock to one of amusement.

"Oh. Who from?" He was suspicious now.

"Charlie there…there was a man I was seeing, just before I came to Downton…I've, I've told you about that before haven't I?"

"Oh yes when we were first married: Joe Burns I believe it was."

"Yes. Joe Burns. He wanted to marry me, and I wasn't keen on the idea. I said I'd think about it and I came here, and did well, and met you and fell in real love, true love." He smiled when she said this. "And of course after we married I never wrote back."

"Yet, he sees fit to write now. After nearly twenty-two years? He wants something." Carson said sternly, arching his eyebrow sharply.

"I suppose…. Charlie he wants to meet me at the fair!"

"WE'RE GOING." He said almost before Elsie finished her sentence.

…

"Benjamin I'm sorry honey but it's simply not done." Cora sighed sympathetically. "And we have a dinner guest that evening and the servant's ball the next night."

It was early in the evening, before the dinner gong but after Elsie had collected the twins from nanny. By this time, word of the fair had finally reached Benjamin Crawley's ears. The boy, who never asked for much, especially compared with his sister Mary, went down to join his own family in the library with the expectation that he might be allowed to attend the fair.

"Well I don't know about it not being done." Robert commented casually, not looking up from his paper.

"Mummy I want to go!" He cried. "Please! Charlie and Charlotte get to go please can I go."

"I'm surprised Carson would allow such a thing." Edith seemed perplexed.

"Can I ask Carson to take me?" Benjamin pled.

"No, you may not impose on Carson." Cora said.

Robert raised an eyebrow, glancing at his wife from over the top of his paper. The Carson's would be imposing on them for nearly an entire season, only Ben didn't know that yet. Robert wasn't against taking the twins to London, but he didn't see the problem with asking Carson if Benjamin could tag along for one evening.

"What's going on here?" Mary asked as she entered the room.

"He wants to go to the fair." Edith remarked.

"Benjamin I shall take you." Mary announced.

"You?" Cora asked, unable to hold back her surprise.

Robert put his paper down, exchanging glances with his middle daughter for a moment. Ben was too starry eyed to notice the family's astonishment and Edith almost flat out asked what the ulterior motive was.

"But why?" Robert burst, nearly gasping; his question was ignored.

"Really?" Ben asked. "You will?!" In excitement, the small boy disregarded his somewhat rocky relationship with his oldest sister.

"Yes really." She smiled. "I shall take you."

"How much does cousin Matthew have to do with this? I heard him say he was going." Edith finally remarked.

…

Two Nights Later

Carson held the twins' hands tightly as they walked into the fairgrounds, their little eyes widened in awe at all the lights and displays all around them. They'd never seen anything shine so bright or move so fast in their young lives. They were a little scared but even more intrigued.

"Daddy it pwetty!" Charlotte cried.

"Yes my sweetheart it is." He smiled.

"Daddy it shiny." Charlie added, pointing to one of the rides.

"Yes my son, it is." He laughed. "Hey you two, here we go." He said, crying out a little as he picked them both up and placed them on his shoulders. Said task was difficult for him but he felt like doing it, wanting to show off the twins when they were in public together. It didn't matter that they were four years old, he was still just as awed by them, as he'd been the day they were born and every bit as excited to show them off too.

Both of them giggled in delight. The twins felt impervious in their place atop their father's broad, capable shoulders. To them, Daddy made the world their own, and completely safe. Charlie clapped from his place atop his shoulders, and Charlotte kissed the top of his head, saying: "Good Daddy!" Carson's heart melted a little; so happy she thought he was a good Daddy.

Truthfully, Carson felt very hurt with his wife of over twenty years out with this old beau. He wasn't in the slightest bit comfortable with it; even if she had dumped the man for him in the first place, and even if she had just gone out with him to reject him again, and explain she was very married and the mother of toddler twins who happened to look just like her. Carson held the twins close and kissed their cheeks, seeking comfort in them.

"Rides Daddy." Charlie cried, pointing to the carousel.

"Candy." Charlotte pled.

"Hmm first things first, didn't we promise Mummy we wouldn't have too many sweets?"

"Nooooo." They lied, shaking their heads in unison.

"Yes, yes we did. But how about cotton candy first?" He asked, laughing as he placed the twins back on their feet, tickling each of them lightly and kissing their cheeks again as he did so.

The twins giggled with joy and Lady Mary watched, smiling from a distance as she boarded the carousel with her baby brother.

"You're here for Matthew." Ben accused as she stood next to him, securing him on the horse she put him on.

"Shuuu. I am not." She almost teased.

Ben was delighted that his sister had brought him, even if he'd come to realize it was for her benefit and not his own. Like the twins, he was enthralled in the seemingly enchanted world of the carnival. But secretly, Ben watched the twins with their dad, wishing his own parents were there, celebrating with him. In that moment, as the carousel started up, Ben Crawley promised himself that one day, when he had children of his own, he'd be more like Mr. Carson than his own father, and take them to the fair even if it was 'simply not done' because of his stature as a Lord.

...

Elsie felt nervous waiting for Joe. Perhaps she shouldn't do this? Perhaps her meeting with another man would cause scandal, bring damage to her and Charlie? Even to Lord Grantham and the house?

"What do you think m'lad?" She asked the baby, feeling him shift inside at her question. "If it sounds like mummy's getting into a spot, can you help get her out of it?"

She wasn't prepared to see Joe at all, let alone like this and wondered how much she was about to shock him. Either way, she supposed that being so heavily pregnant with another man's baby was a good way to turn off unwanted advances of this sort. Tired on her feet, Elsie was about to leave the meeting place and go find her husband and twins when she finally heard a faintly familiar Scottish lilt calling her name.

"Mrs. Hughes! Elsie?" He asked as she approached, she turned to him and smiled, watching his face drop as she came into fuller view. "Elsie I…wow…" He couldn't help but say.

He was going to say she hadn't changed. And she hadn't much, not from the shoulders up anyway. Now he didn't know what to say or what he was doing there. He'd never expected to come and find her pregnant. In his mind, death might've been more of a concern than pregnancy.

"I'm supposing this is not what you had expected."

"No-no, its not." He still seemed very surprised.

"I'm married, Joe. Very, very married." Elsie laughed, placing her hands on either side of her belly. "As you can see."

"How long?" He asked as they began to walk together. He wondered if it was new, if he'd come just a bit too late, if this was her first but very late in life baby.

"1896."

"N-ninety-six! Elsie that's when I asked you…"

Joe felt more a fool than ever. He'd come there to ask her to marry him, as he had many years before. His wife had recently died and he couldn't stand the loneliness. He figured that by now she'd had her fun and her freedom in her career and might finally be ready to be a wife. He'd never expected she already was.

"And I came to Downton and fell in love with Mr. Carson, the butler. We married within weeks of meeting. We have three children, four year old twins, Charlie and Charlotte and of course, this one here, under his mummy's heart still."

Joe was taken aback by the joy that exuded from her, her matter of factness and manner of phrasing. He hated to admit it, because it wasn't what he'd hoped to find, but she was surely different from the farm girl he'd known so long ago... at least as far as he knew.

"I never would've expected you to still be having…" He stopped himself, feeling it was improper to continue down that path. "It's wonderful news."

The two stopped for an ice cream together, sitting at a small table. Elsie was grateful; she'd been craving the ice cream.

She sighed, placing her palm over her belly. "It's a bit late in life for me, but boy do I love them, do you have children?"

He'd imagined her with children many times, but not like this. For a second he wondered if he'd still want her this way; his son was grown and while he loved children he thought he was ready for grandchildren, not more young dependents.

"A son. I take it your happy?" He wanted to ensure. Joe was a kind man and a good soul, but when it came to being a match for Elsie he was no Charlie Carson and without even meeting him, Joe knew that.

"Oh very."

There'd not been a second when she'd regretted or questioned running off with Charlie Carson, not from the moment she took his hand and left the abbey with him all those years before.

"Wow." Joe laughed. "I'm sorry Mrs..."

"Carson."

"Mrs. Carson, I just can't believe it at our age to be having a…I'm sorry but you know what I…"

"Yes I do." She laughed. "It's alright to say it. I know I'm starting late. It just happened this way, and I'm glad my children missed the war."

Joe put his head down, but didn't let on. His son hadn't missed the war and he'd barely survived.

"I am glad you're happy Elsie." He said sincerely.

In an odd way, finding her in this state was refreshing. They'd grown up together and were the same age. Her very pregnant condition made him realize he was still young, young enough for the hope of a completely different and unforeseen future.

"Very. Oh Joe you wouldn't have wanted me." She knew he felt bad and while the topic wasn't exactly appropriate, she'd known this man since they were small children and wanted to make him feel better about her having rejected him. She knew he was hurt.

"Why not? Of course I would've. Anyone would." He laughed, not confessing that he always had. "And can I meet this husband and these twins of yours?"

Elsie smiled bittersweetly, realizing that if she'd chosen Joe over her Charlie she never would've had a baby, as a farmer's wife she would've never been able to afford the operation. What an irony.

...

After a while, the twins grew tired and it was almost time to meet up with Elsie again. Carson put Charlie on his shoulders and took Charlotte by the hand, surprised in a way that he'd had a good time and didn't want to wind the evening down. More than anything though, he was anxious to see if Elsie was all right.

"It's time to go and find mummy." He told them.

"Noooo!" The twins complained.

"Can we play with mummy here?" Charlotte asked suddenly.

"If she feels like it." He said.

"Where is my mummy?" Charlie asked.

"Seeing a very old friend." He said, not wanting to explain the truth about Joe to his children.

Carson felt somewhat comforted that the baby served as his representative and a stark reminder of his existence in this case and was very glad that his youngest child, whoever he or she was, went along on this little date with its mother.

"Daddy look, its Ben again." Charlotte said, pointing out her friend and his much older sister.

"Daddy can we play for a while?" Charlie inquired.

Carson was a little stumped. They played with Ben almost every day and didn't know how to deny the request when Lady Mary flagged him down.

"Alright." He said, putting then in line with Ben who was going to get a balloon. "But just for a few minutes."

"Carson." Mary smiled.

"I'm surprised you brought him m'lady." If anything, he would've thought Edith or Mrs. Crawley would bring him.

"Someone had to." She sighed. "He's done the things he's supposed to, why shouldn't he be rewarded with going to the fair?"

"Humm?" He paused, wanting to admit that he'd only brought his own children because he'd been forced to.

"You're a great father, do you still feel too old for another, Carson?" He turned to her a little surprised at her question and she continued. "I've been watching you with them, I haven't seen even one other father playing with their children the way you do."

"Well most haven't waited as long as me." He answered simply. "You're a better sister than you realize."

"Don't ask Edith."

"Do you still feel too unlovable for Mr. Crawley?"

Mary was more surprised at his question and simply stared back at him. He was right she had come to the fair to show the man she loved a softer side of herself.

"I know I've spoken out of turn." He said when the twins ran back into his arms. He placed Charlie on his shoulders again and took Charlotte's hand. "And for that I'm sorry but I had to say it."

"No." Mary paused, smiling as he watched him take his little daughter's hand. "Carson thank you, you are always right."

Mary swallowed hard. She did feel unlovable at times and it was one of the things she was allowing to get in the way of her relationship with Matthew. It was also one of the reasons why she was so close to Carson. Seeing him with his twins that night reminded her of that. He was enormously attentive to his own children, just as he had been to her when she was little and it meant the world to her. He was an emotional anchor for her, one who often made her feel more human than she otherwise might have. Carson, (being in an odd way, the only one who was even close to being as snobby as she was), was also the only one able to soften her spirit and make her see straight. He always gave her the best of insights and now she wondered if perhaps it was time to stop trying to prove herself.

Mary panicked suddenly, when Carson and the twins walked away, realizing that Ben had not returned. She looked up when she heard the unmistakable sound of her father's laughter, surprised to find Ben in his arms and Cora at his side, the little boy obviously delighted.

"They came after all." She said quietly.

"It was my idea." Violet spoke and Mary jumped.

"Granny?" This made no sense to Mary.

"Yes. I thought they should go with him and that you should go in another direction."

"What are you doing here?" She asked, shocked by her presence.

"Quietly playing matchmaker." She laughed, seeming very humored with herself as she nodded to her right and began to walk away.

Mary looked up to find her grandmother following Isobel and Dr. Clarkson from a safe distance.

...

"Mummy! Mummy!" Charlotte cried, running straight for her mom.

Carson didn't know what to expect and had sent Charlotte ahead of him a bit when he'd first spotted Elsie, keeping Charlie atop his shoulders. The little boy could see his mother from a distance and became increasingly panicked, and slowly angered as she came into view. What was that man doing there? Who was he?

"Why is that man with my mummy!" He burst. Carson raised an eyebrow; surprised his son was so quick to show his anger.

He cleared his throat, pretending he felt any better about the situation. "She's just an old friend, from when mummy was a little girl. It'd be like if you were our age and Charlotte saw Benjamin after many…"

"Nuh uh Daddy. Ben likes Charlotte everyone knows that!"

Carson paused and shook his head, the thought too much for him, especially on a night like this.

"Daddy!" Charlie burst. "Oh no what if he likes mummy too!"

"Charlotte my love! Come to mummy. This is my oldest, Charlotte. Come here, sit on what's left of your mum's lap and say hello to Mr. Burns. We grew up together."

"Like me and Benjamin?" She asked, crawling onto her mother's knees.

"Kind of my lass." Elsie ran her fingers through her daughter's hair.

Mr. Burns was taken a back by Charlotte. For him, just looking at her was a bit like taking a trip back in time to another world. He didn't think it was possible to look more like Elsie.

"Well hello, you look like the image of your mum when she was your age."

"Hello. Mummy do I look just like you?" She asked, turning around to look at her mom.

"Yes you look just like me lass." She laughed.

Charlotte tilted her head as she looked back at the man, wondering why her mom would be meeting with him. The idea seemed strange to her and she wondered for a split second, if her mum had ever felt the way about him that she did about Benjamin. The idea of that unsettled the little girl a bit, making her feel like there was a rock in her stomach. She was too young to understand or convey how she felt about Ben exactly, and much, too much of a daddy's girl still to think of it much... but still, Charlotte knew that the idea of mummy liking Mr. Burns like she liked Ben hurt her: she liked Ben like mummy liked daddy... whatever that meant. She sighed, leaning back against her mother's stomach for solace, the baby kicking her hard in the back.

"Ow! Mummy she kicked me!" Charlotte couldn't help but call out; she bit her lip, trying to keep from crying.

"Oh love mummy's sorry." Elsie giggled, rubbing Charlotte's back. "She kicks me all of the time."

"Elsie." Carson called. They all looked up as he approached, Charlie on his shoulders.

"Mr. Burns, this is my husband, Mr. Carson. Mr. Carson, my little Charlie this is Mr. Burns."

Charlie made a face (he watched from atop his father's shoulders, his chin resting on his head), wondering who this man was and why he'd been alone with his mummy.

Charlie furrowed his brow, studying the man and giving him a dissatisfied, almost suspicious gaze. Joe caught on to the boy's feeling about him, but ignored it, even as the toddler leaned forward as if to challenge him.

"How do you do?" Carson managed.

"G-good to finally meet you…"

Elsie watched a little humored, and a bit nervous as her husband reached out to shake Joe's hand. She could tell both men were nervous, jealous, hurt and in some way, relieved to finally meet. It was an odd feeling for her; being the source of their contention with one another. The idea that two men could want her, and could dislike each other for her sake felt strange but somehow very satisfying.

...

"I can tell you're hurt Mr. Carson." Elsie said as they walked.

"Hmmm?" He held her hand, swinging it back and forth in his own as the twins toddled a bit ahead of them, excited about going on a couple of rides with their mother before going home.

"Oh Charles Carson you silly man. I could never love anyone in the whole universe like I love you." She kissed his cheek.

He sighed, smiling bittersweetly. "I trust you, Mrs. Carson... always, but it hurt me a little. That's all. The idea that ... the idea that you could've been with him ... or with anybody but me scares me Elsie. That you could've said yes and never come here and…."

"Shhhhuuu." She soothed, stopping and turning to him when they saw the twins run up to Ben and Lord and Lady Grantham. Elsie took Carson's hand and placed it on her side. "You feel that?"

He smiled down at her belly, not saying a word as the baby kicked back hard; swinging its tiny feet rapidly.

"My feelings for Mr. Burns are partially what made me come here: I liked him I will admit that. He's the right sort. But I didn't. I didn't love him. I didn't desire him." She whispered that part. "But do you feel that Charlie?" She whispered. "That is how much I love you written in our shared in flesh, blood and bone."

"Oh my Elsie." He whispered, a tear in his eye.

"You know, from the first time he asked I wasn't sure I wanted to go out with him, but from the first time you and I met, I was sure I wanted to carry this baby."

…

Two Nights Later

"This, my girl, is the dance I've been waiting for all evening." Carson whispered, taking Charlotte's tiny hands as she stepped on his feet.

"Daddy I be waiting for you too!" She cried, delightfully.

The ball had just begun and the room was abuzz. It started when Lord

Grantham took Elsie's hand, Carson took Cora's and on it went. After the first dance, Cora and Carson had parted ways. She took Bates' hand and he took his Charlotte's.

The little girl smiled up eagerly at her father, her tiny hands wrapped around his as best as she could manage. He did the work of dancing for her as he swayed her across the floor, her dress twirling as they went.

Meanwhile, Lord Grantham still had Elsie, he'd been afraid to dance with her in the first place and was almost afraid to let her go too.

"Ooh!" He cried out when he felt something jab him in the rib.

"Oh I'm sorry m'lord!' Elsie was almost panicked. "I'm sorry he's quite active and he doesn't know that…"

Robert began to laugh. "He's a strong little fellow isn't he?"

Elsie blushed, a little embarrassed. "Yes m'lord he is. But don't mention a thing to Mr. Carson, he's very excited about the possibility of another lass."

"I see that." Robert remarked, as the two turned to see Carson still dancing with Charlotte.

The sight made Elsie's heart practically sing. She smiled deeply, watching as her husband looked down at their daughter with such love, and she in turn was entranced. In that moment, Charlie ran up to his father, wanting to be held too and so Carson picked him up and kissed his cheek, putting him on his shoulders as he continued his dance with his daughter. The sight made Lord Grantham a little sad, wishing in particular that his youngest daughter were there to dance with and not off in Ireland.

"Oh I'm sorry." Elsie said again when the baby kicked.

"It's alright Mrs. Carson, who doesn't like to dance? And it is twins, isn't it?"

…

"Are you alright?" He asked as they walked back to the house.

It was a warm late spring night and almost pitch dark out save the fireflies that danced in an ever-evolving sequence across the grassy landscape and the lantern Elsie held that lit their path home.

She'd danced all night: first with Lord Grantham, then the twins, then Thomas, Dr. Clarkson, Charlie on his own, and then finally for the rest of the evening with her beloved. Carson wasn't exactly excited that she'd been on her feet so long, but he couldn't complain that he'd spent a lovely night with his beautiful, happy wife in his arms. They hadn't realized that all eyes had been on them for the bulk of the evening. They'd danced beautifully; perfectly in sync with each other their foreheads touching and eyes glued the entire time.

"It's perfectly romantic, you must admit." Cora swooned, whispering to her husband.

'That.' Four-year-old Ben had said to himself as he watched the Carson's. He paused, thinking about how he'd been searching for a definition for a long time now and being four and not exceptionally well spoken for his age, he'd never come up with anything so exacting as the vision before him. 'That.' He said to himself. 'Is how I feel about Charlotte.'

Elsie, more tired than ever on her feet, held the lantern while Carson carried their very exhausted twins, one snoring on each of his shoulders.

"I'm wonderful Charlie." She smiled up at him. "You must admit it's been a very fun couple of weeks: the ball, the cricket match, the faire with our babies, an old flame." She teased and he stared back almost resentfully for a moment before sighing. "And after tomorrow night, it'll never be the same." She gulped as they stopped at their front door, tears threatening to pour down her cheeks.

Tomorrow, they would reveal to the twins that they would be going to London with the family for the bulk of the summer, the following day they'd put their babies on a train and send them away for far too long and on Monday, they'd begin preparing and then waiting to have a baby. One thing was for sure: it was all coming far too fast and far too slow at once.

Carson sighed, opening the door. "It's the carousel of life Mrs. Hughes, if we're lucky it never stops turning."