"Thinking"

"Talking"

"Impactful word"

Location: Arcturus Stream – Arcturus – SSV Normandy SR-1

Lean muscles relaxed under the white sheet, her body donning nothing but her dark-grey mesh armour with navy accents under an identical T-shirt with a simple white belt around the waist and her usual black pants. She was in her battle-sleep mode, balancing on a thin edge between a state of awareness and sleep; something that was a necessity to learn during her first year within the Anbu.

Haruko had explained it to her once as a form of meditation that could serve as a provisional substitute for sleep when on a solo mission without anyone there to take watch. In other words, her last two years in a nutshell.

There was no reason to deny that the last mission had been strenuous but also held a great reference to her adapting to in-cosmic combat. It had also gone a lot better than she had assumed, especially after Kate's last call.

In fact, it felt satisfying that the mission resolved into a more positive outcome, unlike her last mission. She remembered that night as clear as day since it had been the main subject of her nightmares that haunted her dreams.

(Flashback)

Location: Somewhere near the Abenjazū Hideout

Time: A day before the massacre

Haruko POV

Haruko watched her sitting at the edge of the railing, knowing she was already aware of his presence, and then slowly approached her. He noticed how her build-up defences relaxed whenever he was near her and revelled in the trust she shared with him. Not many wanted to associate themselves with him in any way, either because of his standing from before the invasion or from his reputation within the forces of the SSA.

But there she sat, his former student and best friend he could ever ask for. If she hadn't already given him enough, she gave him her heart that he hadn't been able to reject the day she had offered it.

At that time, his thought was to deny her proposition, deeming himself as an unfit target for her affection. The rational part of him didn't want to bind himself to anyone ever again, fearing the pain he would experience should he lose her too. It would have, undoubtedly, led to his complete undoing.

Once, Haruko had thought of himself as an emotionless tool for the SSA to use as they saw fit and for a while, he had been content to be that way. He had thrown himself into a black pit where nobody dared to approach him after the pain of loss became unbearable, and indeed nobody had tried to invade his personal darkness.

Since then, it had only been him and his darkness, walking upon an apocalyptic world with only insignificant lights appearing now and then to lighten this black hell. None of them remained too long so they wouldn't get swallowed up by it.

He had thought of Akane the same when he had first met her around three years prior; as nothing but a small flame that would vanish in just but an instance. Yet after a bat of his eyelashes, she was still there.

What he had brushed off as a small flame, was a fire in disguise, and he immediately felt attracted to it like a flower would seek out the light of the Sun. He was tentative to get closer to her, fearing she would burn down the walls he had put so much effort into erecting, but that notion was roughly shoved aside when she had asked him to be her mentor.

He remembered how her onyx orbs, so full of life, would stare him down with that same ferocity that had brought him to her in the first place, and they wouldn't take on refusal. He had accepted, and he would be forever glad that he did because once she had entered his darkness, her relentless will to survive and strive to avenge what had been taken from her had begun blending in with his black pit.

The more he had spent time with Akane, the more colours returned to his world void of dye. In her, he found purpose and his resolve to live reawakened. He began to feel, to live again, even if it was only prone to her existence.

But her flames weren't without shadow too, and in her most vulnerable moment he had told her that he was lost in this world, and to his surprise, she had smiled, because she was too. Eventually, Haruko realized that they were all lost somehow, but at this very moment he didn't care, because they had in the chaos, found each other.

She wasn't afraid of his demons and he didn't fear her madness.

They saw beyond those things that life did to a person. And underneath it, were two beautiful souls that just wanted to love. He got a little close and that was all it took. He was captured because that was what sometimes happened when the heart recognized home.

Haruko chose to join her side, and once he settled next to her, leaving no space between them, she immediately rested her head on his shoulder. He wound an arm around her protectively to rest on her hip, trying to convey his comfort through it as Akane had done so many times to him. When she heaved a relieved sigh, he nuzzled her black tresses.

"What are you thinking about, my love?"

His voice sounded colder than he wanted, one of the many things he had to cope with him effectively suppressing all of his emotion for such a long period, but he knew she understood. That his intentions were pure and that he cared. It was simply difficult for him to properly express it.

She remained silent as he watched her onyx eyes gazing at the horizon as if it held all the answers.

She got quiet sometimes like that, and he could feel that a certain weight had got her by the heart. And it was in those times that he wanted her to speak the most, but he knew she couldn't because lately... things got grisly inside. They got messy and she had to cleanse all that. And the last thing she wanted to do was dirty him with it.

He knew it all. In his mind, he knew it, yet it didn't make it any easier to watch.

Akane turned to look at him, "I love you. You know that, right?"

Haruko raised a brow at her, before returning the sentiment in earnest, "More than words can express."

In return, she offered him one of those rare smiles she reserved only for him and Shirone that made warmth blossom in his chest, but at the same time, he noticed a profound sadness in it as well. She was battling things her smile would never tell him about.

He knew it all. In his mind, he knew it, yet it didn't make it any easier to watch.

(Flashback end)

"Alright guys, we are soon to arrive at Arcturus Station so you get two days shore leave-"

Joyous cheers interrupted the Commander's announcement, which reminded Akane of her classmates at school when holidays had been announced.

Shepard had to cough to get their attention, "-so be nice a don't cause unnecessary trouble... I am talking to you, Wrex!"

Akane could hear the krogan's disapproving growl followed by rambunctious laughter a floor below her. It was difficult not to notice how the ship got livelier than any other day. The crew began planning out their free time at the station and Akane couldn't help herself but eavesdrop on some out of sheer curiosity and boredom. The young Uchiha remained in the mess for a while; casually chatting with Sir Alenko on topics she could hold a conversation about long enough.

Then, she moved a deck lower, to the place where they had met for the mission. As per usual, Wrex was thinking to himself by the lockers, Garrus tinkering with his omni-tool near the Mako and Chief Williams cleaning her rifle in the corner. Seeing the Chief taking care of her weapon, she spontaneously decided to check on her own weapon artillery. To see how her equipment was holding up since the last mission.

The chokutō and kunai were in a rough state from over usage, but still good to go, at least for one or two deployments. She couldn't keep going with only her swords, she realized, but guns weren't an option either since she had never been taught to handle one. Resources were a scarce thing during her time in the SSA, and the only ones who had been given one were the two leaders and the rest of the non-chakra users.

So reflecting on the current situation she had to either learn how to use a gun or get new blades. In either option would she walk out indebted. And as much as she hated to give somebody the advantage, it was needed for her to get acquainted with the standards of modern society if she wanted to keep her worth in the Commander's crew.

But who should she ask to train her?

The Anbu had thought first of Shepard but thought second of busying the Commander with her problems. She had enough on her plate as a Spectre to unnecessarily bother with an inexperienced crew member. Being so deeply enraptured by her own mussing, she hadn't noticed the turian walking up to her from his usual spot.

"Hey Akane, do you have a moment?"

"I have. What is it, Mister Vakarian?" she inquired politely, calling him by something else than 'Sir' since he himself had requested it during their latest encounter. She watched his expression twitch; looking somewhat conflicted, then he shook it off his head to continue.

"I wondered if you could give me a few tips on my hand-to-hand combat."

Now that put her into stasis. She certainly didn't see that coming, but to her defence, turians were genuinely hard to read. But! The perfect solution to her newfound problem had just shown itself on a silver plate.

A favour, for a favour. Simple as that.

"Sure... but only if you teach me how to fire a gun."

Now he was the one looking off-put by the situation, judging by the lack of his usual witty response. Wrex didn't seem to believe what the question implied either, while Williams watched the exchange out of the corner of her brown eyes. Perchance the Chief had noticed her inexperience during their battle against the geth at Eden Prime, so it wasn't news for her.

He let out that noise laid over with the natural flanging effect of his turian biology that sounded to Akane's ears like a purr. She noticed Garrus doing this when he was in deep thought, though she couldn't be a hundred per cent sure about it.

It was a good sign; it meant that he at least considered it. She knew turian and human hatred for each other ran deep from the First Contact War, but it hadn't shown in Garrus yet.

He looked trustworthy enough, if though she knew better than to judge a book by its cover. He hadn't revealed any ulterior motive with his suggestion.

"You got yourself a deal. But don't expect to get the better of me this time! As you may have noticed, I am the best shot when it comes to marksmanship!"

She couldn't help but to feel amused at his self-praise and be impressed by how laid-back he took the defeat itself. The small quirk of lips felt strange but not foreign to her, she only hoped that nobody around had noticed her little slip.

"In a quest to reclaim you're lost pride, I assume?" There was no way stopping this remark from leaving her lips.

She even managed to make Wrex and Williams laugh, approving her suspicion that they have been listening to their conversation. It felt nice to just joke around, it brought her mind back to the days when life was so much easier. Just like with Williams in the shower a few days prior.

"So there IS a heart beating underneath that emotionless shell after all!" He heartily laughed it off, though she was left unable to join him.

She realized too late that this had been his intention all along; to get her ease up a little from the iron grip with which she held her emotions at bay. How she could have let herself be so careless that easily was something unimaginable to her whilst she searched for the holes in her guard and found something she wasn't prepared for...

A longing she had never really felt before, not even before the annihilation of her people.

A desire that sought friendship, love and happiness.

It felt so tempting that for a moment, she wanted to step out of the darkness and into the light but felt frightened by the thought of leaving what she had known for most of her life. It was difficult to go back to her way of living from before she became this. Did she even have the right to live that way when she had robbed so many others of it?

Shirone wished her to be, but she herself wasn't sure if she deserved it. That was when she noticed how broken she truly was, yet her heart still yearned for repair.

How foolish.

Everything she had inflicted on her, the damage, began slowly resurfacing from the depths of her shadow at the worst time. She was in foreign territory and wasn't allowed to show any kind of weakness that the enemy could use against her. She righted the mask that had always been present and hid all the turmoil the turian had stirred inside her masterfully.

"So when do you want to start?" Her voice had regained her habitual tone as if nothing happened in this short period.

"Uh- I don't know, maybe after our shore leave?" Garrus seemed taken back by the drastic change within her. And for all one knew, it might have been better so.

"Acknowledged."

With that being settled, she excused herself from him and went back up to the sleeping pods - one of the only places she was safe from prying eyes. At least to some degree, and searched through the vast expanses of the extranet for useful information to expand her knowledge.