Something about spending time in her grams' garden was always a much needed respite from the world for Bonnie. Since she was a little girl she had always loved to help Sheila Bennet and learn from her vast knowledge (though some of it contained what she then believed to be superstitious nonsense). Bonnie still missed her terribly, but at least she felt connected to her here.

She stood up to admire her work. It had taken her all afternoon to check on the progress, weed the garden and then pick the plants ready for use in her potions. She had noticed that the traveller magic was now imbued in the plants that grew within Mystic Falls. She had decided to get the plants and experiment with spells she needed in using her type of magic and see how both magics reacted on the same living organism. She had asked Caroline to compel her a spot as a chemistry department TA to have more access to labs and equipments she needed. She was steadily making progress and was close to finding a way to have some magic in Mystic Falls. What was taking so long and that she hadn't told her friends yet was that she wasn't in fact going to take off the travelers' spell. Mystic Falls had enjoyed its first year of peace and safety in a long time. She wasn't going to take that away from the town and its inhabitants. She was simply going to find a way to make possible for her friends to come in without dying. She had felt both Stefan and Elena with her magic, them being doppelgängers, aka traveler magic and not spirit magic witches like Bennetts used, made them able to be immune to the nullifying spell. And, she trusted them all (yes, even Damon…he had matured somewhat in the past year after leaving 1994) to not go on rampages and if one of them somehow went on some kind of ripper like binge or offed their switch, she would be able to deactivate the spell that enabled them to be in the town and would expel them right away. The experiment on the latest batch was a success and she'd prepared a second one to try and replicate the results just to be sure. Everything was bagged and labelled, she was technically ready to leave but still, she lingered. Just thinking about going back to Whitmore gave her a headache.

Despite her reluctance to admit it, Caroline was right. This weekend, before the Christmas party, she had to confront Damon and try to clear the air once and for all. Groaning, she sighed as she tried to imagine how she would even attempt to broach the subject and try to not seem like she was giving in to his childish manoeuvres. He would probably be extra smug, thinking he won his little game of cat and mouse. She rolled her eyes just imagining his self-satisfied face. Ugh…she would have to take the high road again and suffer through him trying her patience, trying to get concessions out of her. Oh well, at least they would be friends again. She didn't want to admit it, and certainly tried to think it as little as possible, but she did miss hanging out with him. Damon helped her be more impulsive and selfish, pushed her to express herself and her wants more openly. To refuse when she didn't want to do something, not pick up or answer if there was anything less than a level 8 emergency - she had downgraded it from the 9.5 he had first suggested. She laughed to herself remembering how every time she would falter in her new resolutions, he would either snap the phone out of her hands when a call was ill timed or a text wasn't judged urgent enough and she was busy doing something for herself. He had even instructed Elena, Stefan and Caroline to not let him bother her if she was with one of them. It wasn't always easy but Damon was there every step of the way.

Okay! It was decided, she would to talk to him at some point during the weekend…but first, she would treat herself to some well deserved time relaxing. The peace and warmth of the house was too comfortable, and the drama waiting outside the town too tiresome, to not want to stay longer. Maybe she could spend the night? It wasn't like she had any plans until Saturday anyway. She could make an event out of it. Have some nice "me" time and chill. She was already thinking about which book she would read and baked treats she could take back with her to campus. She made herself a light soup with bread sticks and went to bed reading this quarterly earth magic magazine- yes, this was totally a thing, her mum had put her on to the fact that there were a bunch publications for witches.

The next afternoon found Bonnie walking the streets of Mystic Falls on the way to go grocery shopping. She had been about to take her car keys but had decided thought she could walk there, the sun hadn't set yet and she really felt like appreciating the feeling of peace and lack of urgency. Simply going somewhere because she wanted to. Walking through the streets lit up by the dark orange of the soon to be setting sun, busy with parents driving their children around, teenagers going about looking slightly sulky, a couple of cars that were clearly a kid being taught to drive by their parent. She smiled, remembering bike rides, picnics, birthday parties and sleepovers. Lost in her happy memories, she quickly reached the local super market. She smiled at Mrs Howard, the owner of the store, who would sneak her candy when she was little. Her mum had never approved much of things not directly grown from the ground, nor had Grams. It was in fact one of the reasons she has loved spending time at the Gilberts' as child, she would get to eat candy and other "unhealthy" foods. The thoughts of te warm Gilbert home brought her back to thinking about the two sole remaining Gilberts. She frowned, deep in though as she pushed the caddy through the store, she needed to deal with both of them.

She hummed sadly as she picked a few sets of stir fry vegetables, she had found this really fun youtube recipes, and she wanted to experiment a little to create some fun, convenient dorm food but that still had taste and didn't feel like takeout. One of the ways she had been bonding with her mum was actually through cooking. Weirdly, the key person to their reconciliation had been Abby's vampire fiancé, Chien who is Vietnamese. He had been turned into a vampire as a young soldier in Nhật Nam, during the reign of the Trưng Sisters, which was a short revolutionary reign lasting 3 years during the first century AD. Yes, turns out, the "Original Witch" wasn't so original after all, there had already been some of vampires around, they just were never as foolish and reckless as the Mikaelsons to multiply so openly and carelessly. These vampires are also much stronger, feed less frequently, have no effect from being touched by sunlight and, most impressively, had psychic abilities that worked on all other supernatural creatures including witches. He had been a young soldier ready to give his life for his people's freedom, and he did. He had ensured that the memory of these women, who had been the voice of a desire of freedom from their occupants, endured throughout history. He had such perspective and wisdom, being around so long, and had already brought so much to the Bennett women. He valued family above all else after having lost his to time, repeatedly, and had remained a deeply kind and compassionate soul. In this modern era, he had actually set up a retreat and holistic therapy centre where he and a robust supernatural staff treated people to help restore balance in exchange for the life essence they took. Abby had gone there, broken and desperate. After he had seen her, he immediately recognised her as a soulmate and removed himself from her team of caretakers and offered her the choice of whether she wanted to get to know him after her treatment. She had waited after the retreat, thought about it and contacted him to see what there could be between them. The rest, as the say, is history. He had been the one to coach them through mending the broken bond between mother and daughter, and one of his tools had been cooking. They had been allowed to rediscover each other, and see how similar they were in so many ways. Abby was in awe of her beautiful daughter, had always been but while before it had always filled her with inadequacy (even before the fatal mistake of abandoning her) now it filled her with pride and joy. And Bonnie glowed under her mother's warm admiration and followed her mother dutifully as she finally received the tutelage she should have had all her life, in all areas, including magic. Their cooking sessions always left both women happy and contended. Chien had taken an immediate shine to Bonnie, even after all the praise from Abby she exceeded his very positive expectations, and he delighted in teaching her all his families' recipe. He also often left them to have mother-daughter time while providing a comforting fatherly presence for Jamie who had benefitted greatly from his presence too, and had needed some talking to after the awkwardness of his first time seeing Bonnie after a long time.

Just thinking about the new family she had gained, and she wasn't just referring to Chien, a smile lit up her face. She resolved to add the pictures of her cooking to the family group chat, she was sure Lucy would be the first to respond with that puppy dog eye emoji asking why Bonnie couldn't just live with her and cook for her everyday, chuckling she continued her shopping.

As she was going past the aisle, she received a text from Caroline letting her know she got mail and she'd gone ahead and signed the reception for Bonnie. Hmm, she wondered where the mail was coming from, she certainly hadn't ordered anything. Maybe it was some documents from the universities where she'd attended information sessions for grad school? Anyway, getting that text reminded her that this was one of the longest periods she had enjoyed without Damon hassling her. She wasn't sure she preferred the quiet. Sure she had been imagining at first that he would spend time focusing on Elena and when he was so insistent on talking to her, she had been taken aback and annoyed, but somewhere inside, deep deep inside, she had been happy he kept trying. When she caught herself, she would justify internally that it was just that Damon still trying so hard to talk to her meant he wasn't busy going on a rampage about town. But she had more faith in him than that, even if he had been much more upset than she had anticipated, she knew Damon was better than that. But how else could she explain away that part of her that relished his attention still. Hadn't she gone in the relationship with the timer on, expecting its end at one point or another? She shook the morose thoughts out of her head. She was done shopping and wanted to hurry and swing by the Grill for one of those delicious seasonal drinks they were making, a warm spiced apple cider sounded heavenly right now, and she knew Matt would be there helping out, something he still did on his down time.

The little bell announced her grocery bags laden arrival. "Bonnie! I knew the smell of holidays would lure you here, it's the cinnamon isn't it?" Matt greeted her cheerily as he came over to help her with her bags.

"Guilty as charged officer, I have been tempted by that warm spiced apple cider you boasted about earlier" she was grinning, seeing Matt was always a boost to her mood. "Matty, why don't you come have dinner with me tonight, I'm making my food for the week so I don't die from the levels of sodium in all that campus food. There'll be more than enough. And you can tell Ty to come over too, I'm sure he'll need it."

"Warm spiced apple cider coming right up, My Lady" he said imitating a British accent she suspected was mocking Klaus. With a chuckle, she mimed a noble woman dismissing her servant, and then most unladylike snorts were released as he walked away bowing obsequiously.

As she wait, she started consulting her email and responded to a couple of questions from the chem classes on the grading criteria, and agreed on when she was free to grade the papers with the professor. As she was about to go on Pinterest, she got a new text.

Damon 🐯 :

Hey.

Not sure why you haven't

blocked me yet but I'm glad

you are still being patient

with me.

I figured a text was less

Intrusive

(and obnoxious)

Listen, I need to talk to you.

Calmly, after I've had decent

sleep . Let's meet tomorrow at

your favourite café.

Let me know what time

works best for you.

Bonnie stared intently. She'd watched the screen as the messages popped up one after the other. Damon seemed almost...nervous? It was definitely less dramatic and ostentatious than the other attempts at contact. How should she proceed? Was she ready for this? What would they even talk abou-

"Bonnie?"

She looked up. The two Gilberts she had been reminded of earlier were standing there, the voice that had said her name in a hopeful tone had been the younger Gilbert. Jeremy looked so pleasantly surprised to see her, it gave her hope he had finally gotten over his previous frustration over their situation. Elena right behind him, looked nowhere near as happy to see her. She didn't look displeased, just apprehensive and maybe a little nervous? Her demeanour made her think of Damon's nervous texts, and something in her heart lurched. Nevertheless, she put a smile on her face, because even with the delicate nature of their situation, she was always happy to see people she had cared about for so long.

"What's up guys? Come join me, I came in to drink some holiday cheer." She said it serenely, her smile open and welcoming. The effect was instantaneous, Jeremy blinked and regret twisted his heart at the thought that he'd lost her for good, she was so beautiful, and warm, and radiating love. He wanted to be in her orbit, he was reminded of the first time he saw her perform magic. She'd taken his breath away and he'd never fully gotten it back, despite what his numerous shows of the contrary. Elena on her part, was suddenly hit with how much she missed her Bonnie, her sweet sister, the baby of the trio, the kindest one, the one who always made sure everyone was happy. She'd missed her best friend, she'd missed her easy smiles and inviting voice, her eyes became glassy as she felt the need to cry, but she wouldn't, it would be awful to do that right there and then.

They sat down. "Someone was a little enthusiast at the supermarket I see." Jeremy remarked lightheartedly.

"Yeah...I'm basically making all my meals for next week, campus food gets boring and I'm staying over the winter break doing some research. And you guys? Been busy enjoying freedom from finals, I bet."

They sat down, making small talk for a bit, then exchanged a look, Elena nodding encouragingly at Jeremy. He cleared his throat, ready to jump in, earnest but a little stuttery. Unfortunately just he started to say "Hey, Bonnie, I wanted to-"

"Your order is ready your Ladyship" Matt had come back with Bonnie's cider. "Oh hey guys, I haven't seen you in a minute!"

Matt acted like he had just noticed them being in the Grill but he'd spied them through the door tot he kitchen and had been wondering how to proceed. When he'd seen them be neutral and Bonnie receptive to their presence, he'd relaxed but after seeing the looks and getting worried this would be yet another attempt on both their parts to convince Bonnie to be with Jeremy. Honestly, he couldn't believe he was not only trying to prevent them getting back together but was also rooting for Damon to get Bonnie back. He had been skeptic of all aspects of their relationship at every stage. Her quiet clinginess to him after she got back from that nightmarish place, his seemingly being attuned to every single instance of her mood, his overprotectiveness when he realised he was in love with her. Which, not for nothing but Matt was pretty sure he was the first of the group to realise Damon was in love with Bonnie. At first he thought it was all in his head in his head, but he started to see that Damon was acting like he used to with Elena when she was with Stefan, when he didn't realise the he cared about her in a special way but she felt unattainable. It was what had actually delayed his realisation, he'd only seen Damon do this sort of thing when there was a clear rival, not that he was an expert on Damon's romantic history but he'd gathered from Caroline that this was a pattern with Damon. It actually made him snicker when he later realised he'd been a potential rival for Bonnie's affection. Not that he had never thought about it, Bonnie was not only the best person he knew, she was gorgeous and became more so with each passing year. But he cherished their relationship as it was too much to want it changed, and he was quite happy himself with his own situation now. While she didn't allow herself to be as unrestrained as she was with Damon, she had the complete assurance of his support and he loved that she relied on him. Bonnie letting someone take care of her or helping her in any way was such an honour and mark of trust, he understood why Damon prided himself on being the one she would be the most comfortable being selfish with. So yeah, all of that had been piling up until it finally hit him during the spring break of his friends' sophomore year. They'd all gone to Bali, courtesy of the Salvatores -private jet, 5 star resort on a private island- and frankly he'd almost said hell no but Bonnie's sad face as he started his refusal and Caroline's forceful look convinced him otherwise.

He had been on his way back from the beach, getting ready for the date he'd set up with this girl he'd met during one of the many tours they had been on, closer to the mainland. Aisha was a leggy ballerina from Cuba by way of Switzerland with a British accent, mesmerizing aqua eyes that went from green to blue in an instant, and the best smile he had ever seen. They had met during the tour of the Tanah Lot, an impressive and unforgettable temple on a giant rock. It had been amazing and it wasn't just because of the company. They got to talking and were so in sync, it was refreshing. They had agreed to meet in the art village for dinner, she said she had enough of fancy shmancy assholes back in her posh private academy back in Switzerland to last her a lifetime, she preferred being around people living real lives without pretence.

He was really looking forward to their time together, he hadn't felt like he was on the same frequency as someone in so long. There was a pep in his step that had been long gone, and he happily made his way to the bungalow he was sharing with Tyler and Jeremy. Theirs, Stefan and Caroline's, Elena and Liam's and Bonnie and Damon's bungalows formed a square with this private pool and pool side bar , picnic table and lounge chairs in the middle. As he passed Damon and Bonnie's he spared a quick thought about the fact that it was so normal to have Bon and Damon together that no one batted an eye when he had simply dragged her towards their bungalow like there was never another option.

He quickly got changed, made sure to shower and use that perfume Caroline said said married his scent perfectly, not spending much time on his clothes because Aisha had made it clear she cared much more about his person. Just made sure he was looking good though, and, though he hated to admit it, the vacation had done him a world of good. His complexion was tanned and bright, his face relaxed, he really enjoyed his time here and had an air of contentment that was so blatant even he was aware of it. He was glad he came…he would never admit that to Caroline though, he shuddered thinking of the repercussions of letting her know she was right. She'd lord it over him for the rest of his days.

He shook himself out of the horror, remembering that he had thought to check on Bonnie before leaving, she had been a little down earlier and had spent most of her time on the beach under the parasol, with massive shades on and a book she clearly wasn't actually reading. Damon had stayed glued to her side the entire time, at some point she had fully snuggled to his side, as he let her rest on his arm, nudging her to feed her some snack or water every once in a while. Otherwise he let her be. As he approached their bungalow, he heard quiet crying. Immediately on alert, he rushed arousing the sides to see what was going on. What he saw broke his heart. Bonnie was being cradled in Damon's lap as she sobbed freely and he soothingly rubbed her back, kissing her forehead and whispering sweet assurances that he was here and she was safe. Matt carefully, stepped back, still looking, contrite at knowing that Damon was the only person who could help Bonnie with this. He stayed rooted there, contemplating his friend's pain, until the sobs quieted down, to shaky breaths, then deeper ones, and finally a light snore that indicated she'd cried herself to sleep. As he heard the snore he looked up again, Bonnie was sleeping deeply. Damon was stroking her hair, looking pained and yet so adoring. He looked at her like she was his whole world and right there and then Matt just knew. Oh god, Damon was in love with Bonnie. Wow. He watched as Damon gently moved her around to carry her inside, handling her with such care and delicacy you'd think he was carrying his own exposed heart. They disappeared off the porch. Matt stayed still for a bit, still in shock from his realisation. He was suddenly pulled out of his stupor by being slammed roughly against a nearby tree.

"You know I'm a vampire, right? I would obviously hear you lurking about." Damon said looking irritated and bored at the same time. He was clearly messing with Matt and had slammed him like that to startle him.

"Hey, man sorry. I was just coming to check up on Bon. She hadn't looked so hot on the beach earlier and I was kind of worried. I didn't expect her to be so upset though and I'm glad you were around to help her."

Damon's eyes softened, even as the muscles in his face did not betray his tension abating. He released Matt.

"Yeah, she was a little overwhelmed. She's not completely over that hell hole experience and I think she just need to let it out but has been holding back because she didn't want to worry us." He sighed, with a mixture of annoyance and fondness.

"Oh, I thought she had been feeling better. I had hoped we were past her hiding her feelings to spare us" Matt was feeling terrible again. He really had thought he had made it clear to Bonnie that she was important and valued. Damon seemed to have read his thoughts exactly because he then replied

"Listen, don't go all pity party mode here, Ken. She knows you have her back, it's just old habits having a hard time dying. She knows you would be there for her 100%, she just doesn't want to abuse that. I think we're all just not used to that. Keeps us all on our toes."

Wow, was Damon Salvatore trying to comfort him? This was entirely too bizarre. Matt nodded, a little dazed.

"Yeah, you're right, I guess I gotta work harder at making sure she is completely at ease. Anyway, I have a date to get to. I'll leave her in your hands for tonight and I'll come over tomorrow, maybe we can go do something together. We used to love collecting sea shells as kids. I'll see you later, man" He said in a hurry to leave before they could be in danger of becoming friendly.

"Hey." Damon called out. "Thank you for, thank you for looking out for her. For standing up for her. Of course, she will always have me, but…I'm glad she has someone else who she can count on and is looking out for her happiness." And then he just sped back into the bungalow.

Wow. Damon Salvatore was in love with Bonnie Bennett. And Damon didn't know it yet.

After that incident, Matt had quietly cheered for them because he really felt that Damon was right for her. He gave her space to be more demanding, loved to provide her with anything she would ever need but at the same time - and that was a new facet of Damon-, did not begrudge her needing other people in her life and was actually glad to see her have a support system. It was the complete opposite of how he had behaved with Elena. And Matt had been proven right, for a time. He had mostly pieced together everything that went down and he was waiting for Damon's recent maturity to come in and help him fix his blunder. He could have just said something to Bonnie but he wanted her to have space to process her own feelings and she needed to know that he was unequivocally on her side, so he wasn't pleading Damon's case to her. He knew everything would be alright.

That did not mean, however that he did not feel nervous when complicating factors like Jeremy and Elena appeared. He hoped his previous talk with Elena had finally gotten her rid of the delusional notions in her head.

"So.. Lena, Jeremy, what can I get you guys?"

"Hey, Matt, we'll just get some coffee."

"Alright then. And Bonnie, here is your Christmas Cider, with extra cinnamon." He said, adding in a corny barista wink that made her snicker.

"Oh thank you, Mattie" she said, answering his pretence with a fluttering of her eyelashes and a fake moon eyed look. They couldn't hold it anymore and just giggled helplessly while the Gilberts looked on perplexed. Elena cleared her throat. Matt was purposefully being obtuse and lingering, hoping to discourage any potential Gilber shenanigans.

"Actually, Matt there was something I wanted to talk to you about so I'm happy to catch you here, do you mind if we talk over at the counter for a bit?" She looked at him pointedly while wearing that patented pleading Elena look. Matt hesitated, but looked at Bonnie who was starting to look between Elena and Jeremy, and seemed to have caught on to there being something going on. She then looked at him, he quickly arched his eyebrow facing her in a silent question to check if she was good, and she gave him a slight nod and turned to smile at all of them. "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up with Jeremy in the meantime, I know he's excited about starting art school."

Jeremy was super nervous. He had rehearsed this in his head many times over and he really wasn't sure how to proceed. He cleared his throat uneasily.

"Jer?" Bonnie had noticed how awkward it suddenly got as soon as Elena and Matt had walked away. "You okay there? Not catching a cold or something, are you?"

"Bonnie. There is something I have to say. Let me just gather my thoughts first."

"Okay." She looked apprehensive. She was properly dreading another hammy attempts at getting back together on his part.

"First of all, I would like to apologize to you. Sincerely." She looked startled and ready to wave away the apology. "No, leg me get this out. I have acted like a complete asshole for the past two to three years. And I need you to understand that I feel so ashamed and sorry for my behaviour. Ever since my parents died-" he choked a little on his emotion, "ever since my parents died, I have put everything on everyone else and behaved like an immature dick. I acted like I was the only one suffering. All that mattered was that what I truly wanted- my parents back. And then, when I wasn't escaping through smoking, I focused on what seemed out of reach but if I just tried hard enough, I could get it. I think that's the real reason I was into Vicky, you know. She was this older gril who was out of my league, but had this certain sadness around her. I could be her knight in shining armour. Then she just- vanished. Of course at the time, I didn't know she was just dead. After that it was Anna, who I started liking even while I was still holding on to Vicky, actively using her to find out what happened to Vicky. Then Anna died as I was finally getting over Vicky and genuinely started liking her. Then there was you, another beautiful, amazing, wiser girl that should never have given me the time of the day. And so tragic, another princess whose tower I could climb and rescue her from. The problem was that my previous two relationships had never taught me how to say goodbye. It was always lingering from the previous person until I could finally focus on who I was with. And at the same time as Vicky, Anna came back in some way, and she needed my help. And you were gone and I felt like I could neatly separate the two parts of my life, my heart. I never properly apologised to you for kissing Anna. For refusing to let her go. That should have been the first thing I did. Even with Anna's ghost around, I knew I loved you more. I knew I cared about you more, that I didn't think I could stand losing you. But I had also started taking you for granted, like everyone else. I thought angrily that it was unfair you wouldn't let me explain, instead of trying to prove myself to you. I also felt weak, I couldn't protect you like Damon or Stefan, I was just this hanger on and my ego allowed me to consider all of these things instead of the thing that should have been most important and that was you. Then so much more happened, Elena becoming a vampire, me becoming a hunter…And then you died." He took a breath there, "And that should have been my chance to be truly good to you…" he paused for a second, lifting his head and seeing Bonnie patiently waiting for him to get it all out. He was once again reminded how little he truly deserved her.

He couldn't believe he had been so foolish to think only his needs and wants mattered. No, even worse, he had been convinced that she had to love him back like he did her and that she was just confused about what she wanted. He wanted to slap himself, when had Bonnie ever been confused about what she wanted? "I shouldn't have enabled you to keep your death a secret. I should have fought tooth and nail against your decision to keep it a secret and I sure as hell should have done something to bring you back. But I was selfish. Because this was a semblance of what had brought us closer initially, you relying on me when everyone else was thinking about everything else instead of worrying about you who always worried about everyone else. I should've fought for you harder. And I felt even worse when after just some time of Damon trying, he managed to find a way to bring you back but you were, and we were together, and everything was looking up. I then made a decision that I would actually commit to being fully there for you, for anything you would ever need. But I was being selfish and not paying real attention to you or to your pain. When I realised what was happening it was too late and then you and Damon…died. For all I knew anyway. And even though I should have been more careful, I felt I had a legitimate anger towards you. You never told me. But deep down, I knew. I knew it was because you never trusted me to care most about you, to want to ease your pain and discomfort at the cost of anything else. Because I never fully regained your trust, because I never even tried. Then you came back and Damon and you were this thing, and I was even angrier because I then remembered all the times you trusted him, even when you hated him, you never worried he wouldn't be strong enough, he had saved your life multiple times and even brought you back from the dead now twice. I made him the bad guy in my head and when you not only stuck with him and barely paid me any mind, but then started dating him, I just-" His eyes were getting misty with shame. He had been such a dick, he had made some of her worst and hardest times about him. He startled when he felt a soft and warm touch on his wrist. He looked up again, Bonnie's warm eyes shining with compassion he didn't deserve. He looked into her eyes and sincerely said, "I am sorry, Bonnie. I am sorry for when I broke your trust and failed to repair it, I am sorry for not being the support you needed and I am so, so, so sorry about the way I've acted ever since you've been back, I am sorry for taking you for granted. I am sorry that while being so selfish and wanting to keep you in my life at all cost because of how much better it was with you in it, I also took you for granted. Please forgive me."

"Jeremy," she started softly "Thank you. Thank you for explaining to me what you were thinking, thank you for finally apologizing, for everything. It really means a lot to me. You were an important part of my life too and I really hope you will still be after this." She hesitated, but then continued "but I hope you understand that I am completely over us as a couple. I love you and if you need more time to get used to the possibility of us being gone, I won't mind that. But I have to be more honest about what I want, and what I do not want." She looked resolved and yet a little worried. Strangely, while his heart still squeezed a little at the final rejection, he was glad she could assert her decision like this. And he had an inkling of who was to thank for having Bonnie be so open about stating what her feelings and boundaries were. He quickly reassured her.

"Oh, don't worry. I've finally taken my blinders off and I know we won't get back together. I just wanted to apologize because you deserve an apology, and you deserve to know that I love you, even if I have been to selfish to do something good with that love. I've made my peace with it. I'm ready to be your friend, one you deserve to have. I promise I'll be a better friend than I was a boyfriend." He was still in love with her, gosh, how could he not be, she was so lovable and he had been in love with her for so long. She had been his first real love, his first love that wasn't mired in escapism and posturing on his part. But he'd get over that, because seeing her happy was worth everything after seeing so sad and in pain for so long. Even if that happiness was thanks to Damon, who had actually fought for Bonnie and after the talk he had with Elena, he knew Damon would do anything to make sure Bonnie stayed happy forever.

"I'd really like that" Bonnie said, her eyes a little wet but filled with relief. " And I really want you to be happy, Jeremy." She sniffled a little.

"I know," He smiled, and it wasn't even as pained as he thought it would be, "now get started on that cider, it's better warm, right?" She laughed a little and grabbed her cup. They continued talking for a minute or two, really about his art projects this time and they were both relaxed around each other in a way they hadn't been in a long time. He heard steps as Elena and Matt came back, Matt carrying two steaming cups of coffee and Elena quickly checking up on him to see if he was okay. Not subtle but Bonnie was engaged with Matt in another routine, and he smiled at her to let her know he was fine.

Elena sat down, looking pensive and a little, well, he wasn't actually sure what she was feeling. Matt took a seat beside Bonnie and was still trying to convince her to spare a few days between New Years and the start of classes to come to aspen with him, Tyler, Caroline and Stefan. Jeremy didn't fail to note that it didn't seem like Elena had been privy to those plans, he had known, what with living with Matt and Tyler and all, but they already knew that Alaric wanted to have some family time with him and Elena. Still, he could hardly hold back a wince of sympathy for his sister. Even if they already had plans, the evidence of how not connected to her friends' lives she was anymore must sting. Bonnie's voice interrupted his thoughts:

"Maaattttt, I already told you I would see. I wanna coordinate with Mom and Lucy, they wanted to do something on New Years since there is a special lunation. I'll let you know as soon as they tell me"

"Ugh fine, but you better tell Caroline, you know how she is with last minute changes in either direction." She pouted in response, Caroline and her plans were not to be messed with and being the messenger of changes was never a good time. Jeremy held back a laugh, it really was hilarious how her friends feared Caroline when it came to her plans. He turned to Elena, intending to share amused glances but she still looked deep in thought and a little subdued compared to earlier.

Matt stood up again as two customers came in. Bonnie then turned to Elena looking deflated and, hesitantly asked:

"Hey Jeremy, can you do me a favour?"

"Sure, of course. Whatever."

"I actually walked to the supermarket and my grocery bags will make my walk much longer, do you mind taking them back to Grams'? We can all have dinner together, you, Elena, Matt and Tyler. Here' I'll give you my key." She was looking at him pleadingly and once their eyes met she quickly averted them towards Elena in emphasis.

"No problem." He accepted the key and got up, "I'll see you guys in a bit then." He smiled at both hoping to send some encouragement their way. He wasn't sure what had made Elena so down all of a sudden, but she had barely paid attention to the conversation and had looked up in surprise when he stood up.

"Thanks, Jeremy."

He went over to get his coffee in a to go cup and headed out.