Retreat
"Staying late again, Angela?" her mother asked as she stood in the doorway to her daughter's office. Even though she already knew the answer, she had to ask. This little ritual had become routine in the past few days. Mona wasn't staying late, she was already packed up and had her coat on; but she wanted to make sure her daughter's long work days were being noted.
Angela looked up from her work long enough to say, "yes," then promptly reburied herself in the sketches on her desk.
Mona was not happy, she pursed her lips and sighed angrily, but softly, "I'll see you later then, maybe."
Angela's only reply was to wave her mother out the door. Mona left, going over the whole so-called conversation in her mind to make sure she would be able to give Tony the full report. Hearing the door shut, Angela breathed a sigh of relief and pushed away from the desk to sink into her chair. Her mother was becoming nosy; even if she hadn't actually questioned her about anything; yet. She knew the time was coming and she had no idea how to answer her mother's future probing questions. Tony had also been remarkably silent on the subject, but she surmised that was because her mother had warned him away from asking. How her mother managed that, Angela had no idea; but as it spared her having to interact with Tony, she was grateful for the solitude. She sighed, rubbed her forehead to try to get rid of the headache starting to form, and tried not to think about why she didn't want to go home.
Of course it didn't work, trying not to think about something only brought that subject to the forefront of her mind. In this case the subject was Tony. There was no escaping him. The family photo was still on her desk, silently taunting her. She wished she could hide that picture away; but she was certain her mother would notice it missing and ask her about it. Her mother's silence regarding the missing monument and baseball was disconcerting enough; she didn't want to give her mother an opportunity she couldn't ignore, so there the photo remained, the smiling faces a cruel reminder to her now.
She should get out of the office; hiding from Tony here was juvenile. It was ridiculous, really, she was an adult. A grown woman with a successful business. She was a home owner; and since her divorce from Michael, a sole home owner. It was her house, not Tony's; so why did she feel so unwelcome in her own home? Angela picked up a pencil to tap in on the desk, trying to sort through her feelings. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to face Tony. More than anything else, she didn't want to face her feelings for him. She still ached. Trying to forget someone was like being on a roller coaster ride; at some times the ride was smooth, and she was able to go about her business without thoughts of Tony intruding. Then, out of nowhere, a fall. A descent into madness more like it. She never knew when she would suddenly be overcome with emotion; she never knew what could trigger a stab of pain. She always hated roller coasters because she hated not being in control; and never before in her life had she been so unable to control her feelings as she was now.
She felt like she was in limbo, with no place to go. Home was no longer home and her continued presence at the office only pointed out to her that this was a place of business, not a place of family. One by one her employees left for the day; off to continue their lives with their loved ones and their various activities and interests. She stayed alone in the office. A terrible thought crossed Angela's mind; if she wasn't careful she could turn herself into the Miss Havisham of the advertising world. Angela winced at the thought; a jilted woman lost in the past was an unfortunate comparison to herself. An image of her future formed in her mind, there she was, still sitting at the desk, ten, maybe twenty years in the future. Cobwebs curtained the office and her heart. Paperwork was piled around her everywhere, cluttering her desk and the office; and she was still wearing the same clothes she was today. Professional, unsexy, business clothes. Her vision then mocked her by replaying a recent scene. In it her mother was once again at the office door on her way out. Only this time, she was wearing an evening gown. Obviously, she had a date. Of course she did. Why wouldn't she? She waved to Angela on her way out the door.
Angela shook her head to get rid of this nightmare. Was that her fate? To lose herself in bitterness? To trap herself in an unfulfilled dream of the past? Living an existence that consisted of nothing but unforgiveness and venom? A life of stark whiteness, cold, surreal; with no sparks of color wending themselves in to give her life meaning? No, Angela decided, she was stronger than that; she'd made the choice to let go of her own delusional hopes, she wouldn't let herself fall into hatred and anger.
Resolved, she gathered up her work and headed out into the cool late summer sun; or at least what she could see of the sun through the Manhattan skyscrapers. Now what to do with her freedom? Head to a museum? Stroll around Central Park? Perhaps more shopping? No, she wasn't going to use shopping as a coping method. Then, inspiration hit, "how about dinner and a Broadway show, Angela?" she asked herself. "Sounds delightful, I'd love to," she answered. Her decision made, she headed over to the TKTS booth to see the available show options for the evening. She was pushing herself a little too; she'd never seen a show alone before, so her action was almost a little forbidden and naughty, like she was on an adventure she wasn't sure was legitimate.
After buying her sole ticket, she called Tony to tell him she wouldn't be home for dinner, again; and that her arrival time at home would be later than usual. Then she talked to Jonathan for a little while.
Tony and Jonathan turned the evening into a boys' night by ordering pizza; it was a staid boys' night because they were eating pizza while doing homework, but it was a boys' night nonetheless. They did discuss their missing women; one in particular. Tony was surprised by Jonathan's admission that even he had noticed his mother's change in behavior. He was just as mystified by her attitude as the rest of the family.
Jonathan finally gave up on seeing his mother and went to bed around 10:30pm. As per his custom, Tony stayed up, waiting for Angela, sitting on the couch, working on his homework. At least he wanted to make it look like he was working on his homework, but in reality he was too distracted by trying to figure out what was bothering Angela to accomplish much. He'd been carefully watching her all week. Was she angry with him? If so, why? He had clues, Mona had been given him updates on Angela's office behavior every day. According to Mona, Angela was defensive and prickly; she spent as much time as possible in her private office and didn't engage in anything more than polite niceties with anyone who worked for her.
There was one detail that troubled Tony more than any other. Mona told him that two mementos were no longer on Angela's desk: the Jefferson Memorial miniature and the baseball. This news hit Tony hard; it was worse than being hit by a fastball. It floored him, he felt abandoned; life turned suddenly cold and gray. He tried to rationalize, tried to convince himself that Angela had only moved the trinkets to another spot; but he hadn't seen them anywhere in the house and Mona hadn't had the opportunity to search for them anywhere in the office.
What did their disappearance mean? Did their removal mean anything at all? Was he over-reacting? Maybe Angela just needed more space on her desk. He tried to make himself believe that, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the removal of the trinkets erased his presence in the office. Being expunged from the office was not a good feeling, he tried to deny it, but it felt like Angela was trying to remove him from her life. He had to talk with her, and it had to be soon; a portion of his life that had once felt so secure was now spiraling out of control and he had no idea how it started, and worse, how to stop it.
When she'd called to tell him she would be later than usual, she sounded distant. She obviously hadn't wanted to talk to him; and wouldn't give him any details regarding her plans for the evening. He missed her; and his mind was running wild with theories of her activities this evening. She obviously wasn't working late because she would have told him so. Did she decide to stay in the City and eat? But why would she do that? Although Tony's imagination came up with more ideas, he couldn't find one that satisfied his curiosity. The only thought that made any sense; and more than anything he didn't want to admit this, was that Angela had a date. A date she didn't want him to know about. His homework was completely abandoned as he tried to figure who she was out with and when she had met him.
It couldn't be that louse, Stanley Harrington, could it? Angela couldn't be attracted to him, she just couldn't. Tony had seen the way Stanley looked at Angela during various advertising functions. He always had to exude his best, 'she's mine, don't even think it' attitude combined with a nasty glare whenever Stanley sauntered by. Did missing one event give that sleaze permission to hit on Angela? If he had any idea that would happen he would have canceled his gathering with his classmates. Fear started to creep in to Tony's psyche; Mona's daily updates included the fact that Stanley had called every day. She also told him that Angela refused the calls, but in Tony's worried state of mind, this was not a comforting thought and was easily dismissed as irrelevant. Angela could have easily called the slime bucket back at her leisure, and without Mona's knowledge. How had everything changed so quickly? Wasn't it just last week they were happily celebrating their anniversary? At least he thought they were happily celebrating. What happened?
He was so deeply immersed in these thoughts that when Angela came through the front door, he was startled. Tony looked up from the couch to greet her; but what he saw in her eyes stopped him from moving off the couch. She was disappointed to see him waiting up for her; he'd never seen that look on her before; and he definitely didn't like it now. He was so shocked he almost physically recoiled from her nonverbal rejection.
"Hi Tony," she forced herself to say as she dropped her briefcase on the desk and took off her coat. She barely even looked at him as she walked over to the mirrored coat rack. She couldn't. There had been too many times this evening she'd thought about him. She missed him. She missed coming home to a warm family dinner, she missed laughing with Tony over their own private jokes, she even missed helping him with his homework. Staying away was starting to take its toll. She was lonely; and forcing herself to stay at work alone or even to go out alone only highlighted this for her.
"Hi. You ok?" Tony asked.
So lost in the mire of painful memories was she that she hadn't really moved once she placed her coat on the peg. She had almost forgotten he was there, and so was startled by his question; she covered by fiddling with her coat, then finally saying, "yes, fine; thanks." Tony didn't believe that for a second. Angela finally pulled herself into a perkier attitude and overly brightly said, "how's everything here?" as she turned around and glanced at him; very briefly.
"Fine."
"Good. Where's Jonathan?"
"It's late, he went to sleep; morning comes early for a teenager." The implications of his comments were obvious to Angela, 'where have you been all night? You missed seeing your son.'
Angela managed a half-smile and small snort of laughter through her pain. Tony was still attached to the couch at though he had been glued to it; but that didn't stop him from thinking about Angela's needs, "you hungry?"
"No."
She was barely looking at him; only glancing his way when she actually said something, at all other times she was looking around the living room as though she had never seen it before.
"How was your evening?" he asked, wondering if he would get any answer out of her at all.
She didn't want to talk about it, least of all to Tony, but she couldn't ignore him so she quickly answered, "fine." Then feeling a very long, very uncomfortable pause, which was in actually probably not longer than a second, prompted herself to ask him, "how was your evening?"
"Fine. I did homework, with Jonathan."
"Good," she said as she clasped her hands, "well...I shouldn't keep you from your studies. Good night." She had to get out of there before her heart started breaking again, she was perilously close to becoming overcome with emotion. She grabbed her briefcase and hurried upstairs to be alone.
She was halfway up the stairs before Tony had a chance to react. When he did, he jumped up from the couch and ran to the staircase. He put one hand on the railing and called, "Ange...," his voice trailed off as she was already around the corner and out of sight. He heard her close her bedroom door and dropped his head in defeat. There was nothing else to do but put away his school books for the night and prepare for tomorrow. Angela would be home tomorrow night, it was movie night after all. Movie night was sacred; untouchable, he winced at that poor choice of word. Angela was untouchable, no matter how much he wanted to touch her. He looked up the empty staircase again wondering what was going on in Angela's mind and how to get her to share it with him.
Angela locked the door to her room; this was a new habit of hers. For years the door had been unlocked; a silent invitation that had never been opened. Angela didn't reflect on that, she was more concerned with barricading herself away from Tony as best she could. Even though she could bar him from her room, she hadn't yet mastered barring him from her heart. She put her briefcase near her dressing table and put a hand over her heart in a futile attempt to try and heal it. She couldn't, she was overcome and sank into the chair. Her heart ached with a mixture of loneliness and love. She tried to push the love away; but it was too ingrained, too stubborn to move. She looked in the mirror and saw only a single woman; one who couldn't accept rejection from the man she'd counted on most to accept her. She closed her eyes as tears started to fall and looked away from the mirror.
Tonight had shown her she had to shut down her heart; lock it away, do her best to pretend it didn't exist. Her attempt at running away from Tony hadn't worked. Even though she found the self-created illicitness of seeing a show alone enjoyable; at the end she still felt empty. She'd watched couples file out of the theatre in the mass exodus after the curtain came down and couldn't help but be jealous. They were happy, their eyes joyful with the new memories they'd created together. Some of the men placed a hand at the small of their lady's back, thereby protecting and guiding them through the crowds. From time to time, Tony had done that and she'd always loved the intimacy of the gesture. Now the memory of it made her feel more alone than ever. Seeing so many happy couples only reminded her that she had wasted years dreaming of a relationship that in reality never stood a chance. She deemed her great experiment in independence a failure; which, in turn, made her feel like a failure.
After wiping away her tears, Angela readied herself for bed; she was resolved to have a better day tomorrow. She had work to do and she vowed to focus on her work and not let any distraction named Tony interfere with it. Her work wouldn't break her heart, it wouldn't reject her. Work was safe, comfortable and reliable; unlike a certain volatile someone whose charms she would no longer allow to work on her.
Angela did indulge in hard work the next day, almost to the point of driving her office staff crazy. They complained to Mona who told them Angela was driving everyone at home crazy too. She told them they'd have to be patient with her because something was bothering her and she hadn't told anyone about it; even Tony. They were shocked that Tony was also excluded from whatever was going on in Angela's mind, but since they now knew that Angela wasn't singling them out for harshness, their complaints were alleviated. They considered the issue temporary and that made the situation easier to deal with. How were they to know the situation was only just getting started?
Mona knocked on her daughter's office door close to 5pm. It was a testament to her concern for Angela that she had actually stayed at work that late; all week even.
"Stanley Harrington called...again," contempt in her voice dripping from every word.
"Thanks, I'll call him."
"You planning to come home some time tonight, or should we just move a bed into this office so you never have to leave?"
Angela smirked at her in response, then finally responded with a half-hearted, "yes." It wasn't that she wanted to go home; but if there was anything she had learned in the past week it was that avoiding going home didn't solve anything.
"It's movie night," her mother reminded her, as though Angela needed to be reminded; which she most certainly did not. Movie night was haunting her. For the first time ever she didn't want to have a cozy night on the couch with Tony and the family. She was dreading it; yet she couldn't think of a way to get out of it. She hoped that if she took enough work home she could get out of movie night.
"I know," she answered evasively.
"I hope you will deign to grace us with your presence."
"Me? You're the one who regularly skips out on movie night for a date."
"I have my priorities; but as I am booked solid for the rest of the weekend, I am taking tonight off."
"Lucky us."
"Yes, lucky you, indeed." Mona was starting to lose her temper, she walked back to the outer office, closing the door forcefully behind her. If Angela didn't come clean about her behavior tonight, she had half a mind to stage an intervention. Her daughter was becoming sullen and a bit of a brat; and she was far too old to be so immature. Mona took care of closing up the office for the day, seething all the while.
In her office Angela picked up the phone to make a call she had been procrastinating on all week. Stanley had called too many times for her to keep ignoring him. Although she considered this to be a work related call, she wasn't sure Stanley felt the same way. A horrible thought crossed her mind, "what if Stanley asks you out for tonight? What will you say?" She mulled over the possibility of saying yes to him. It would, after all, get her out of movie night. But was the price too high? Uncomfortable movie night at home versus even more uncomfortable date with Stanley; it was a dilemma. Angela dismissed her thoughts, she was being silly, she had no indication that Stanley would ask her out.
Angela dialed the number, hoping all the while it was ringing that Stanley had already left for the day. Unfortunately, he picked up. Of course he would give her his private line.
"Angie, baby, I was starting to think you didn't want to talk to me," Stanley started, completely insincerely for he could not believe there was any woman on this planet who didn't want to talk to him.
Although he couldn't see it, Angela flinched, she hated being called 'Angie baby'. Angie by itself was fine, especially when used by Tony's friends, then it actually made her feel accepted, even a little cool. The realization hit that she wasn't likely to spend much time around Tony's friends in the future. The loss of their friendship was another blow to her; no one would call her 'Angie' anymore, and that made her sad. When they had accepted her into their circle at the poker game all those years ago it was the first time she felt like one of the in crowd. The guys welcomed her, even though their welcome was self-serving at first; a novice with cash to lose was always welcome at a game; but as the night went along she won their respect, along with a nice chunk of their money. It was a triumphant evening for Angela and a very fond memory for her.
Now that memory was tarnished; it was nothing but a moment of her past. The guys, even if they did stop by to play poker with Tony, wouldn't spend time with her. Or rather, she couldn't spend time with them, because Tony would also be around, and she wouldn't be able to handle the situation. The loss created an emptiness in her. This in addition to being called the hated 'Angie baby' was a difficult combination for Angela to deal with. That so called term of endearment only recalled the Helen Reddy song, and it reminded her of how ostracized she felt at the height of its popularity. She loathed that song for the way people used it to taunt her.
Someone would say, "hiding any lovers anywhere, Angie baby?"
Then someone else would inevitably respond, "she must be hiding them somewhere." Then they'd laugh. Anger still welled up within her to this day. But was it the anger of knowing they were correct? For it was true, then as now, she had no lover.
"Angie? Hello? You there?" Stanley yelled into the phone; Angela had been quiet for so long he thought they might be disconnected.
"What? Sorry, Stanley," Angela answered as she shook her head to bring herself back to the present. Although why she wanted to be in the present she wasn't sure, it wasn't much of an improvement on her past.
"So, what do you say? Dinner, drinks? A helicopter ride around Manhattan?"
He did ask her out, Angela had to think fast. Movie night would not be as fun as usual; but it was infinitely preferable to an evening in Stanley's company. "I'm sorry, Stanley, I have plans for tonight."
True enough.
"Tomorrow, then."
"No."
Stanley was not used to taking no for an answer, "C'mon Angie; we'd be a great power couple."
Angela didn't want to be half of a power couple; she wanted to be half of a caring, home-loving couple. One who made brownies together and put up Christmas decorations together and shared all the moments a happy couple was supposed to share. Her heart broke again, knowing that her dream was not to be. "I'm sorry, Stanley, I'm swamped with work, I don't know when I can get away..."
"Isn't that why you have a staff, to help with work?"
"Yes, of course; but I am the boss, and it's my responsibility to be in charge."
"I like a woman who likes to take charge."
"Stanley, I have to go, my mother is anxious to leave, and I'd like to get home to my son, I haven't seen him enough this week. Goodbye." Angela almost threw the receiver down in her hurry to get rid of Stanley.
Stanley heard the dial tone in his ear. He pulled the receiver away and stared at it as if it was some sort of exotic object. Had Angie hung up on him? Was that possible? It couldn't be. He was Stanley Harrington and women did not reject him. Fine, he decided, if Angie didn't want to go out with him tonight, he'd find some other time when she would. He put the phone back in the cradle and set to work on a plan.
Angela, for once, was glad to pack up and be out of the office. Her mood hadn't improved, but she was grateful for her mother's presence on the trip home. She didn't mention one word to her about her phone call with Stanley, but just knowing her mother was there if she needed her gave her strength.
The weekly anticipation for movie night was tense this week. For an event that had been a family fixture for years, tonight's pre-movie dinner was strained and awkward, it was like five people on the worst first date ever. Conversation was minimal and strained, laughter was almost non-existent. Everyone felt the chill in the air between Tony and Angela, no matter how much Angela would deny such a chill existed even if anyone dared to bring it up. Tony was at a loss, he made one of Angela's favorite dinners, but she did little more than pick at it. His fears about Angela's behavior over the past week were turning into full blown anxiety and even Sam's presence at home tonight couldn't lessen his foreboding. Angela excused herself from dinner as quickly as she could, claiming she had work to do and promptly shut herself away in her den.
In her office Angela paced, the clock was ticking closer to movie time, and she still hadn't come up with any ideas to get out of it. Claiming there was work to be done wouldn't fly; movie night was a 'no work allowed' night. She was dreading spending time with the people she loved the most, or at least the one person she loved the most. How was she going to get through a whole movie sitting next to him? The situation was depressing her. This was her family, her supposed support system through life, how could she not want to spend time with them? These were the most important people in her life; the ones who loved her the most, "all but one, anyway," her mind mocked. Defeated, Angela dropped on to the window seat and leaned up against the wall, she clutched her arms tightly as she burst into silent tears.
Her den had been her sanctuary through some of the most difficult moments in her life. It had been her retreat when the reality of Tony's relationship with Kathleen overwhelmed her like a wave crashing on the shore. The wave of pain was overpowering her again. Being in this room wasn't a good retreat this time around, it was only reminding her of the past and bringing up painful emotions and experiences she thought she'd dealt with already and that she'd never have to face again. Her past was refusing to go away, instead it was only adding to her unhappiness, making her cry even more uncontrollably.
In the kitchen Angela's abrupt departure prompted questioning looks all around the table from the rest of the family members.
"I say we confront blondie tonight, tie her down to a chair if we have to." This was Mona's suggestion.
"Be realistic, Mona," Tony said, causing Mona to look disappointed. "If Angela doesn't want to talk about whatever's bothering her, then we shouldn't push her. When she wants to talk, she will. Besides, we don't have any rope handy."
"I do," Mona offered. Tony glared at her in response. The kids ignored her, they'd been around Mona so long they weren't even phased by her anymore.
Sam brought the conversation back to the point, "I don't know, Dad. My Psych professor says getting people to talk is important."
"See, that's three of us who think we need to pounce on her. Sam, her professor, and me; and don't forget, I do have a degree. Maybe it was dealing with Angela her whole life that prompted me to get it."
"Mona; no one is pouncing on Angela. We are going to have a nice, normal, movie night. Maybe what Angela needs is the quiet comfort and support of her family. So that is what we are going to give her. Have I made myself clear?" He glared at Mona again. She looked back at him with a 'who, me?' look, then nodded her head, reluctantly.
"If you say so, Tony; but I still think Grandma's idea has merit. It's obvious something is bothering Mom; we've all noticed it. How long are we all going to pretend nothing's wrong?"
"We aren't pretending, Jonathan; we're...just...acting like everything is the same as always."
"Whatever you say," Jonathan rolled his eyes in response.
"Would you just take the popcorn into the living room, please?"
"Sure, Tony." Jonathan brought the popcorn into the living room, glad to be free from the delusions in the kitchen. Sam soon followed him in, carrying a tray of drinks. They looked at each other knowing that they had seen a lot of strange behavior in this house over the years, but this topped it all. They also knew they couldn't discuss anything right now as Angela might overhear them.
Tony and Mona soon joined them in the living room, Tony put down the remainder of the food, and picked up the remote to start the movie. "Angela, movie time!" he called to her office door.
There it was, the words she'd been dreading all night. How was she going to get out of this? Being holed up in her office was the only place she felt safe; unhappy, but safe, no one would come into this room without her permission. She hadn't done one bit of work since escaping into her sanctuary tonight; as she had no intention of doing any work in the first place, her lack of accomplishment wasn't bothering her. Her lack of desire to join the rest of the family was. She couldn't make herself go out there. For years movie night was a joyous family activity; even as recently as two weeks ago it was a joyous family activity. They'd made so many happy memories on movie nights; now those memories seemed false and distant. Angela was still sitting on the window seat, trying to come up with an excuse to stay in the office.
"Angela," Tony yelled again, "there's brownies!"
Angela was numb; she had to be, she had to force herself to be emotionless. She must have succeeded because even the promise of brownies didn't make her want to leave this room. "I'm busy with a campaign, just start without me," she said desperately.
The rest of the family stared at each other incredulously. This was an obvious lie, they all knew it, even if Angela was working on a campaign, she'd take the brownies into her office for sustenance. For Angela to stay away from brownies and movie night, something had to be very wrong. Tony set the remote on the coffee table and went to knock on the door.
Angela jumped at the knock, she should have known he wouldn't let it go. What had she been thinking? Of course her turning away from brownies was going to be cause for concern. She'd backed herself into a corner, now her only option was to behave as though nothing had happened. She wiped her eyes, took a quick look in a mirror to see if she looked presentable, breathed deeply and opened the door. A false smile was on her face as she said, "finished the work. You mentioned brownies?"
An astonished Tony could only nod as Angela walked past him into the living room. He followed her, a little dazed. It was obvious to him, and everyone else in the family, that Angela had been crying; but they were following Tony's decree and "acting like everything was the same as always"; no matter how far from the truth it was.
"So, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Angela looked at the rest of the family, her mother answered her look with one of barely concealed suspicion at whatever her daughter had been trying to pull. The kids were quiet and confused, unsure how to proceed, trying to figure out the enigma currently known as Angela was getting them nowhere. Tonight was definitely not a normal movie night and everyone felt they had to follow the lead Angela set. They waited for someone, anyone, to say or do something, as Angela herself didn't seem inclined to make any decision.
Tony finally jumped in, "how about we sit down?" An obvious choice, but required to be mentioned tonight with circumstances being so unusual. Everyone was relieved a decision had been made; but then Angela did something that caused Sam to hold in a gasp. Instead of taking her customary seat on the couch, Angela sat in one of the side chairs. This had never, in their long history of movie nights, happened before. Seating was as close to being set in stone as possible. Tony, with Angela on his left in the middle of the couch, a kid on either side of them. Sometimes the kids switched places, but Tony and Angela never did. If Mona was staying for movie night they would make room for all five of them on the couch, and even though with the kids grown it was now a bit of a squeeze, no one minded the familial closeness.
Tony took note of Angela's choice, this was not a good sign; but he didn't say anything. He looked at the rest of the family and told them silently not to mention Angela's decision. The rest of the family settled into the couch, this new seating arrangement uncomfortable and unwelcome. Tony started the movie and passed around the popcorn and drinks. Angela took several of the brownies, figuring she should enjoy them while she still could, after all, the countdown to Tony's graduation had begun, and in only a few months, there would be no more brownies.
The family didn't really concentrate on the movie, they were all concerned over Angela's strange choice of chair. For her part, Angela seemed to be enjoying the movie, but she was covering the truth of the emptiness she felt inside. Tony was becoming more anxious as the movie progressed; he'd intermittently look over to Angela, trying to figure out what was going on, but she gave away no secrets.
When the movie was over, Sam excused herself as quickly as she could. The situation at the house was one she didn't care to be part of; whatever was wrong between her Dad and Angela was affecting all of them and her way of coping was to get away and hope that they quickly worked out this problem. Jonathan also retreated; deciding that his room was a far more pleasant atmosphere than downstairs. They gave each other a 'we'll talk' look before Sam left for the night.
Tony picked up the remnants of the refreshments and took them into the kitchen, leaving Mona and Angela alone. Mona seized the opportunity, "what's with you?" So much for Tony's declaration that no one confront Angela.
Angela, who was trying to distract herself by fiddling with the box for the movie, was stunned. Although why she was stunned, she wasn't really sure. She knew this question was coming, she'd just hoped her mother wouldn't dare to ask. She knew this was a pipe dream, but she hoped anyway. Playing dumb was her first choice of response, "what are you talking about?"
"Don't pull that with me."
So much for tactic number one.
Still, it was worth another shot, "pull what?"
"Angela, you have been moody and recalcitrant for too long now. I know nothing's wrong with the agency, so what gives?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Angela started to rise from the chair to make her escape, but escape was not going to be easy.
"Just where do you think you're going?"
"I'm tired, I'm going to bed," she answered her mother. "Alone, again," a nasty voice in her head nagged pointedly. Angela winced at the voice.
Mona was intrigued by this wince, "you aren't getting away so easily, I want to know what's going on."
Angela wasn't going to stand for that, "there is nothing going on. As I said, I am tired. Good night." Angela accented her departure by tossing the box for the movie on the coffee table and striding across the room so quickly, Mona didn't have time to stop her. She watched her daughter go upstairs and realized that drawing out whatever was bothering Angela was going to take more than the direct approach. It was going to take more than Tony's 'wait and see' attitude too, even if he couldn't see that at the moment. She was worried about both of them; Angela because she was obviously deeply troubled and opening up to no one about it, and Tony because he was in denial over the depth of Angela's problem.
The kitchen door swung in, prompted by a strong push from Tony. He looked around the room, "Angela go back to her office?"
"No, she went to bed."
"Bed? It's only 10 o'clock, that's way too early for bed."
"Depends on the company."
"Mona."
"Of course, Angela's continued lack of bedroom company may be what's bothering her. Pity there's no one around to do anything about that." She raised her eyebrows pointedly at Tony. Mona had no idea if that was Angela's problem or not; but with Mona being Mona it was a working theory.
"Oh no, Mona; we're off limits to each other."
"Why?"
"Why? Because...that's why."
"Because?" Mona repeated incredulously, "will you two stop behaving like you are grade school sweethearts." Tony looked like he was going to object, but Mona wouldn't give him the chance. "How many years have you two been avoiding each other? You put it off much longer and you'll find you've missed your chance."
Tony was shaken. He couldn't lose his chance with Angela, could he? He hadn't lost her over Kathleen, so he figured their relationship was strong, and that it would only be a matter of time before he and Angela would finally acknowledge and act on their feelings for each other. Some time in the future, say after he graduated, not now.
"When was the last time you two discussed your relationship?' Mona pestered.
Tony shrugged, "I dunno," he knew, but he felt that information was private and not to be shared with someone who would either be gleeful about it or conversely use it against him.
Mona wasn't buying it, "fine, if that's the game you two want to play, then play it; but why you continue to deny yourselves happiness, I will never understand." Annoyed, she left the house for the sanity of her private space, away from the continuing denial in the world of Tony and Angela.
Tony slowly locked up and turned out the lights, all the while in fearful worry that Mona might be correct about it being too late for a relationship between him and Angela. He was suddenly plagued with insecurities; did his turning away from her last summer with the marinara sauce have anything to do with Angela's current state of being? It couldn't, could it? No, it couldn't, that was a while ago and what he was starting to privately call "Angsty Angela" had only appeared recently. Unable to come to any conclusions, he resolved to talk with Angela tomorrow. He couldn't tolerate their strained relationship any longer and would do anything he had to do to get it back to normal.