Ch 42- Part Miracle, Part I
"She's so big all of a sudden." Daisy mumbled.
"Shu, she'll hear you!" Mrs. Patmore barked.
It wasn't long after the baby started to grow that Elsie's demeanor did a 360. Her back pain had increased and it showed. She was more tired now, short with everyone and most of all: moody.
"It's a girl you know." Beryl reminded placing a cup of tea in front of Elsie who took it in hand a bit too quickly.
"She's funny pregnant, idn't she?" Daisy whispered.
"Shuu." Beryl shushed but Elsie didn't notice.
The housekeeper was tired and beyond that, in pain. Elsie rested the teacup atop her belly and even though it was still on the small side, the baby's punch was powerful enough to almost knock it to the floor.
"Oooh." She moaned.
Elsie did this once in a while just to reassure herself that her slightly small baby was going to be all right, but now she was beyond the need for reassurance and overburdened with this child just as she'd been with Samuel.
"You go from still to the speed of your big brother….oooh!" She hissed. "That's reassuring."
"The speed of lightening from the looks of it." Beryl chuckled.
Chubby little Sam sat on a blanket on the kitchen floor looking back up suspiciously at his auntie Beryl. For the first time in his short life, Sam Carson found that something was slowing him down: learning how to walk.
"Don't tease him." Elsie pled, toying with balancing the cup once again.
"He's so wee little Mrs. Patmore." Daisy reminded.
"And with a very pregnant mum." Elsie added.
She felt bad. Samuel had first started learning to walk during the summer, back when she'd first announced she was pregnant again. He could stand and toddle a little bit but the tiny boy hadn't mastered walking or running. Elsie assumed that was her fault and now that she was too pregnant to assist her tiny son, she was putting more and more pressure on her husband to do it.
"Come along Samuel, it's time for your practice." Carson thundered kindly as he drifted into the room.
"D-d-d." The boy mumbled, reaching for his father.
"Mummy would you like to come?" Carson asked.
"I would but I'm waiting for the doctor to come."
"The doctor?" Carson and Beryl asked at once, both of them panicked.
"I don't feel right. He's just going to make sure everything's in order. And NO I'm not in labor… no reason to worry."
"I-if you're sure of course, Samuel and I will accompany you when he comes."
Carson held his son close, and helped his wife to her feet trying not to make it obvious that he was worried. But he was. Elsie followed him close, her hand on her back. She closed her eyes, feeling the baby kick and listening to Sam babble, easily reminding herself that burdened or not, she felt like she was the happiest, most blessed woman in the world.
She didn't say it aloud but yelped very quietly when she felt her little one shift oddly inside. The baby seemed to choose the strangest, most uncomfortable positions to lie and it was driving Elsie crazy. It was like having something shoved deep under your fingernail and get stuck there, except it was in the depth of her back and instead of a tiny crumb it was a whole baby: the sensation wasn't overtly painful, but somewhat unbearable and much different from what she'd felt with her other children.
"That's a good strong step isn't it lad?" Carson asked, holding his son's hands and guiding him carefully as he took a few steps.
Carson's words called Elsie back to the present moment and despite her pain she watched with a smile, opening her arms to Sam. She was sad that her expectant belly made it difficult to help him learn to walk, but thankful that her husband was more than willing to take on the task… when pressed.
"Come to mummy Sam, mummy wants to see you, you can do it." It was hard for her, but she leaned down a bit, eager to catch the little boy when he reached her arms.
Carson let go of their son's hands he wobbled slightly, taking a few steps toward his mother before falling flat on his behind with a hard smack. It wasn't Sam's best day.
"Waaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaahhhh!" Sam sobbed.
"Oh my sweetheart." Elsie cried, leaning down further and finding that her back froze.
"Oh my boy." Carson soothed, scooping the baby into his arms and kissing his cheek, trying to calm him down. "You're doing a good job, my Samuel."
"My poor wee lad. Mr. Carson I want to hold him." She said, holding out her arms.
"Are you sure you can…" He wasn't sure.
"Yes." She said impatiently, holding out her arms for her son, almost pleading. It hurt so much to see him cry. "Come here my little love. Oh Mr. Carson I feel so bad: he's my baby too. He's not even walking as he should be and with him, you'd think he'd run!"
"Everyone has their own timetable Mrs. Hughes." Carson considered. "It's why our newest babe's making such odd choices, why our twins are so… special."
In the two months since the twins had began school, it'd become increasingly evident that they were the very best of the bright young things of the day.
"And most of all it's why we had children so late ourselves." He kissed her nose, taking Sam out of her arms. "Everyone's a bit different and Sam will be fine."
Elsie grabbed Sam's arms and held him up as Carson crossed the room. This time, Sam was going to try a longer walk to the safety of his dad's arms. The tiny boy blinked, feeling secure that his hands were safe within mummy's grasp and he studied his father carefully, seeing his large frame, kind smile and warm hands as a place of safe refuge after a fear-filled battle.
"Go on m'lad." Elsie whispered, leaning down a bit as she urged Sam to walk. But with that, her belly hit Sam hard on the head and again he landed on the floor with a plop.
…
"Surely something's wrong?" Carson raised an eyebrow, watching Elsie wince as Clarkson pressed on her stomach. Sam sat on his father's knee, watching curiously.
Clarkson sighed, his tone one of disappointment rather than worry. "Not wrong, just… unusual. The baby's much smaller than Samuel was and may be breech."
"And that means?" Carson asked as Elsie sat up.
"In short, Samuel stretched out Mrs. Carson's womb..."
Samuel giggled when Clarkson said this and Carson grimaced at the phrasing but Elsie understood perfectly the idea making sense to her. Clarkson continued.
"As a result this baby has room to move around as he wishes, room his siblings didn't have and that's why Mrs. Carson is in a lot of pain. The baby may and might I stress, may have a backwards or breech presentation at birth."
"But that's dangerous?" Elsie asked having known something was wrong.
Clarkson sighed. "It may require I perform a caesarean section, yes."
"But that's… very dangerous." Carson considered, the thought chilling him to the bone.
The butler felt his heart begin to break at the idea that he might loose his wife in such an awful way, after years of their wanting children. They'd been through so much during her pregnancy with Samuel and he'd hoped that even given her age and the baby's lack of growth, they'd have an easier time this time around.
"I won't sugarcoat it: it is dangerous." Clarkson said, putting his stethoscope away. "But not like it was even a few years ago. It'll be stressful if it has to happen: but Mrs. Carson should pull through just fine."
"So… we're not to worry?" Carson asked, the look on his face indicating worry. Elsie stayed silent, feeling an odd peace.
"No. Prepare. I'll keep a check on you the baby still is little and has the chance and the time to turn round the right way and he may."
"Oh." Carson was relieved.
"In the meantime, you should try a music box, sometimes placing it to the lower part of the belly can get the baby to turn, but I'm going to warn you if he doesn't turn, you're going to have to give birth at the hospital."
…
Carson was of course aghast at the suggestion.
"No one in my family's ever been born in a hospital before."
"Oh get on with the times Mr. Carson, I don't suppose you'll be around for it but I'd think most of our grandchildren will be born in a hospital."
"G-grandchildren?" He considered, stopping cold.
Elsie was slaving away in the kitchen while her husband sat, feeding the baby. Sam grabbed his father's hand, trying to steer the spoon he held toward his mouth.
'There daddy.' Sam thought. 'That's it…'
"Grandchildren." He said again, looking down at his son.
"Mr. Carson we're going to have four children soon you'd think that at least a couple of grandchildren would come of that." She laughed.
Carson paused, finding the whole thing odd. Grandchildren. After so many years, longing for children of his own he realized he'd never really considered the possibility of his family extending beyond that. Of children having children of their own. Of he and Elsie truly living on into time. He looked down at Samuel whose tiny face was covered in mush and found himself awed at the idea that the small boy might one day be a father himself.
'Time.' Carson thought. 'Is a fickle thing.'
He swallowed hard, looking back up at her. They'd been worried all this time, but after the doctor's news something seemed to eat at him every time he looked into her eyes. A middle aged woman stared back at him, but as before he saw a scared young girl in her eyes and he ached with the knowledge that he couldn't protect her from what might come: from loosing their baby, from growing old, from dying….
"I suppose we won't be here to see that." He said simply.
"No." She bit her lip.
"Da!" Samuel squeaked suddenly, upset that his father wasn't paying attention to him.
Carson and Elsie turned back to him in an instant, both forgetting their fears momentarily.
"He spoke!" Carson chuckled deeply.
"He's talking!" Elsie cried, tears coming to her eyes. "Oh Mr. Carson he's talking!"
Sam looked back at both of his parents and clapped for himself wondering what the big deal was.
"Oh my charming wee little lad!" Elsie cried.
Carson paused as he watched his wife kiss their son. He'd been about to say it: 'I'm sorry.' And Samuel had saved him. He questioned himself as he watched Elsie fawn over their son, torn about how he could possibly be sorry for a miracle, sorry that he had had one more chance to make her pregnant. But the truth was, the risks scared him deeply and he understood them more than he let on. What he didn't know was that she understood them, almost intuitively and even so, didn't have a doubt in her mind or her heart that there was no where else she'd rather be than there with him, having his baby one last time, the risks taken not as a burden but as a privilege somehow.
"Thank you Mr. Carson." She said, collecting her son in her arms, difficult because of her growing frame.
He was dumbfounded and raised an eyebrow, eyeing her carefully as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him gently before turning back to the stew on the stove.
"W-whatever for?"
She sighed, closing her eyes as she grabbed his hand and placed it on her side.
"Those are wee feet." He whispered.
"Wee tiny feet." She whispered back, her forehead against his.
"I have a present for you." He said.
"Oooh?"
"Close your eyes."
"Do you hear that lad, daddy wants us to close our eyes?" She whispered. Sam spread his hands and smacked his tiny palms against his eyes when his mother said this.
"Open." Carson said, sitting a package on the counter in front of her.
"Oh Charlie!" She exclaimed, surprised to receive a beautifully wrapped gift. She wondered if he was truly that afraid about her condition and the thought turned her stomach a little as she proceeded to open it.
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "It's beautiful."
"My beautiful wife should sit for a moment and we'll try it out."
"But supper…"
"You shall sit… I'll finish supper."
Sam was curious about his mother's gift and reached down to touch it as she settled into the big living room chair and held him close. Carson took the gift and turned the crank on it, placing it against the bottom of Elsie's belly.
"Look what your daddy brought you wee one, do you want listen? And ooh! Charlie it's playing the song from our wedding dance, from the ceilidh!" She started to tear up, notcing that the music box played a much lighter version of the Scottish song. "How did you ever find it?"
"Let's simply say that like all of this." He placed his hand on her belly, caressing the side and trying to encourage the baby to move toward the sound of the music that her mother and father danced their first dance to. "Like all of this there was a bit of difficulty involved, but it was meant to be."
Elsie sighed, almost ready to cry and placed her hand over her husband's fear of what was to come hitting her very suddenly.
"Mrs. Carson there has been a lot of uncertainty for us, hasn't there?" He began, referring to all their struggles, chiefly their prior inability to conceive a child when they'd wanted so many.
"I'm scared Charlie." She admitted, a tear trickling down her cheek. She was accepting of it, but had never been more frightened in her life.
Carson placed his forehead against his wife's and took her cheek in hand, their tiny son watching the tender moment very carefully. He took his thumb and dried her tears very gently.
"It's why I've been so moody lately Charlie I knew… I knew something wasn't right…"
"And like every other fear, every other uncertainty it shall pass us by and one day, one day…"
"And one day." She searched his eyes, her gaze loving but determined. "One day no matter how hard it seems." She paused, knowing for sure now she wanted to reassure him: to give him a reason to go on even if she was not meant to go on with him. "One day Mr. Carson." Her eyes sparkled despite her fear and something about it seemed far too eerie to him, otherworldly even. Another part of him was simply dragged in. "It'll be part of miracle." She said almost jubilantly, the music box continuing to spin out an old tune that once rung of so much promise.