Hey. Thanks to katmar1994 for reviewing the last chapter. If you can you should really go see it, it's great.

See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on.

02/03

Today we decided that if we're going to run this thing properly we better go out and meet the community. After all this is a legitimate pie company, so we need legitimate customers. Simple as.

So off we went to Burger Lord's. Papa shoved the door open and nearly took the doors off its hinges. The guy in charge ran over and said, icily. "Can I help you?"

"Yes please." Papa said, picture of politeness. "Table for 4 would be lovely."

The manager looked like he was having a stroke. "I'm sorry, we have no tables-"

"There's three over there." Papa said, still polite, as he pointed over to a corner where, lo and behold, there were 3 empty tables.

"Those are reserved." The manager said.

Papa narrowed his eyes and walked over to the biggest table. "Where's the reservation sign then?" He asked.

So, with the table sorted we ordered some drinks and food. Everyone was staring at us from the waiters to the other patrons. We're used to this though, so ignored it a little. Mama struck up a conversation with the table next door though.

"We've just moved here." She explained. [A little lie. We've still got the house.] "We're taking over 'Jack Horner's Pie's'"

The lady - a young pussycat - stuck her nose in the air. "Oh, THAT place."

Mama frowned. "You don't like it?"

"We're not allowed to order from there." The pussycat said. "Or work there. Due to the fact we're talking animals. I'm surprised you three are taking any interest in it."

"Four." Mama corrected. "My daughter Goldilocks is running it as well."

The pussycat looked embarrassed, and her husband - an owl - chimed in. "By all accounts the pie's there are delicious, but Jack Horner himself was not particularly...friendly-"

The pussycat snorted. "That's an understatement. He's a selfish, no-good idiot who thinks only of himself."

Well there's a character reference for you.

At that point the drinks came and food came. [Together as well. They must have really wanted to get rid of us.] The waitress carrying the food decided it was a great idea to put it on Papa's left side. Papa is blind in his left eye - visibly as well - so when he senses something alongside his left and he can't identify it he lashes out. Now normally he can identify if it's a threat via smell, but I think today there was just so much going on and so much food his senses got confused. Long story short, he lashed out, hit the tray and the food went all over the floor. The waitress screamed. [Bit of an over-reaction I think] and the manager of the place came over.

"You're going to have to pay for that." Was the first words out of his mouth.

Thankfully Mama is not the type to take that shit. She immediately laid into him about how STUPID it was for the waitress to put the food on Papa's 'wrong side' and really, if he was going to make us pay for the food then we'd take him to court.

By the time she was 5 minutes into her rant the manager was a quibbling wreck and was begging us not to take him to court. Which means he knew he was in the wrong basically. Good news we got the food free AND we went up in the estimation of the people there.

A swan came up to Mama just as we were leaving, saying."That was great. Not many people would have the gall to take on Mr Hamm."

Mama said it was nothing.

"What did you say you did?" The swan asked.

When we explained, the swan nodded and said that he'd think about ordering from us.

So yeah. Not the way I thought we'd get publicity, but hey. No such thing as Bad publicity, right?