Your emotions are still so raw from your brush with death that your mind begins casting back to places it doesn't often go.

You felt the stout, thick guard hairs of her coat, layered in with extremely soft fur. It was so comforting to wrap your hands around her as she licked your cheek in acknowledgement. You were only seven, so you were small enough to actually fit inside her doghouse and be with her here, safe where no one would see you.

You didn't fully realize back then, but later you knew that the unique feeling that was there was love. That feeling was something you just don't forget. It was too rare, too special. Even if you were as pathetic as to sit shamelessly in a doghouse with your dog like you had nowhere better to be, it didn't matter, because she was there. Your heart's warm and your mouth turns up in a slight grin at the memory.

"Captain?" Aldyr asks as he knocks from outside the door.

"Come in!" you yell cheerfully.

He comes in, greeting you as he does, Sans following close behind.

Sans' presence immediately causes you a rush of adrenaline, part of you afraid on a physical level because he'd literally almost killed you yesterday, and another part honestly worried about him.

You give Sans a quick once over, inspecting him for any damage. You exhale with a sigh of relief when you see he does look uninjured as Aldyr had said.

Physically, at least. You can still see the mistrust, the trigger-fire reaction that lurks just beneath the surface. You recognize it because there's a part of you that's exactly the same way.

This time, you keep both your inner and main shield up. What could go wrong as long as you stay cautious this time?

At least he doesn't look like he's about to attack you. He definitely looks better than he did yesterday.

You realize then that he's giving you a quick once over too, his gaze lingering on your bandages. When you dare to look at his eyelights, you see some kind of deep sadness warring with hatred and anger. When he looks up and your eyes met, you see the hatred flare and his jaw tense, and you don't understand why. You glance away, suddenly afraid.

Aldyr keeps a sharp eye on both of you and subtly changes his stance, preparing to interfere if he has to. Sans notices, and intentionally softens his expression.

He breaks the tension. "look, i really don't want this to end up like last time. i don't want to hurt you if you're not the one who did this. i can tell you have some good inside and i don't want to get it wrong this time."

He looks away, apparently to try to help contain his feelings.

You think a moment, and respond carefully,

"I truly don't mean you any harm, Sans. I didn't kill your friends. Why do you seem like you hate me when you look at me?"

He forces himself to meet your gaze again. "besides the fact that your LV is over a thousand? it's your eyes," he says shortly. "they're red."

"Huh?" you wonder, completely perplexed. It sinks in. "What...Chara?!"

Oh. Ohhhhhhh.

"not just red. when i look at your eyes, i can see that exact kind of red she has."

Like bright red blood. You know too well what he means. You've watched enough runs of other players to know.

"So it wasn't just the LV," you say, your heart sinking like stone. "You had your reasons."

"yeah, you could say that," he says wryly, leaning back against the wall and putting his hands in his jacket pockets with a sort of feigned casualness.

Aldyr walks forward and looks deep into your eyes. "They look normal to me. I don't see any red," he remarks, confused.

"the red's behind her eyes...it's kinda hard to explain, but Frisk was like that too. when she fought, all the red came to the surface, and you could see it without looking for it."

"Am I...really evil then?" you wonder aloud. It's a strange rhetorical question, but you don't know what else to say.

Sans sighs, closing his eyes briefly.

"hate's so easy isn't it? assuming the other person has bad intentions."

The note in his deep voice compels you to look up at him.

"tell me. you're from that world, right? i've always wondered. why did you do this to us? your people?"

The unexpectedly gentle tone is making your heart break.

"Sans..." you whisper.

You suppose you should try to say something. Anything that might be comforting.

"My world...has got issues," you finally say. Wow, that was awkward, you berate yourself.

He lets out a short, sarcastic breath, almost a scoff. "i think, kid, that's an understatement."

You close your mouth. Everything you think of sounds unbearably trite. So instead you try to say something by your expression, remembering he is uncannily good at reading faces.

"hmmm...your expression is really earnest. are you saying you didn't want this?"

"Never," you almost cry. "Not after Flowey told me the truth. He told me monsters have families, when I killed one Froggit, thinking it was just a game. I reset it all, and never killed again."

"at least that fucker did one good thing, then," he says bitterly.

"Sans," you swallow hard. "I am truly sorry. My world is dark, and cold. The darkness in our hearts is reflected in what's been going on here. I've tried to not be like that, but I can feel that part of my heart is...broken, or frozen. Not all of it, I hope."

You have the unfortunate flaw of telling people too much about your emotions, making them think of you as naiive or childish sometimes. You hope you don't seem too much like that now.

He doesn't seem to mind your rambling, though.

"can i see it," he says, glancing away like he's embarrassed by his own question.

"Huh?" you ask, confused.

"your heart, your soul. i know that i shouldn't normally be asking, it's private, but maybe i can tell what's wrong."

"Really? How?" you wonder curiously.

'you'd have to lower that inner shield."

Ah. That sounds like a problem.

"What if...you find what you're looking for?" you ask slowly.

"then i have an idea of how i could attack it without wounding you. it's based on the idea that you're really who you say you are though. you'll get hurt if you're not."

"Umm..." you stall for time. What were all of his attacks again? Was this about what they were saying about how he was really strong against genocide players, because of- "Karma?"

"yeah."

"That's all you're going attack with?" you say dubiously. You hated to mistrust him, but it wasn't like there weren't some pretty scary AU Sans out there. Hopefully he wasn't one of those. How many times has he gone through a - never mind, not thinking about that right now. It was too dizzyingly horrifying to contemplate.

"I'm sorry, it's just...trust is hard...after all this," you say, gesturing downward at your body.

"tough, i know. it's a lot to ask," he says, with a sense of melancholy that you can tell isn't just about you.

You can tell he's trying to be diplomatic, give you a little bit of the benefit of the doubt, but he's also not sure that you're not an enemy too.

He's angry too, you realize. Like you. That feeling of crying against...you don't know what, just that there's something out there in the universe that feels wrong. Something that controls your destiny against your will. It's a little comforting that you both have something in common, and it gives you the willpower to try to think through this problem.

You say nothing for several moments, contemplating as you fiddle with the soft blanket under your hands.

The ship. The ship. Everything has to be about the ship and its hundreds of crewmembers, even more than anyone here, no matter how much you personally care about them. That's your responsibility as the captain. The first priority has to be to protect the ship. There's only one way to do that, assuming Sans is right, which you think is likely. You have to get off the ship.

You'd seen from watching the other players what Chara could do to an entire world. That last huge downward strike of red looms large in your mind. What could her blade do to a ship that was tiny in comparison? She wasn't a low level Chara either, if she was the one making your LV so high. You wonder where she got all the EXP from, since it usually wasn't possible to get that much in any kind of run. But right now it didn't matter.

You concentrate on making your mind a blank. If something really is inside you, you don't want it to know what you're planning. Unfortunately, that also means you won't be able to explain your plans in advance. If you say anything, it might provoke Chara to attack, and you can't risk a fight on the ship. Hopefully they'll understand.

* What is she doing? Is she intentionally not thinking anymore, so I can't read her thoughts? How foolish. She can't keep that up for long!

Your blood runs cold and your stomach twists at the sudden, alien presence you feel inside. How long was it there? You suddenly realize you've been feeling something odd for awhile, and now it's growing fast. There isn't much time-

You get up, slowly but actually going as quickly as you can, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and stumbling a bit as your feet connect with the floor. It hits you that you've probably lost a lot of blood and you're still pretty weak. But stopping isn't an option. Aldyr sharply intakes his breath with empathy, knowing this is probably costing you a lot, and visibly worrying about you reopening your wounds.

You hold both of their gazes for a moment, and turn and put out a hand, focusing and opening a tunnel swirling with dark blue energy. After several seconds, it's ready, and you turn and enter, ducking inside the narrow entrance.

You don't know how long you'll last at this rate, or what this thing inside of you will do to you, but whether you live or die, at least this way the ship won't be affected.

The tunnel is still open behind you and you hear Sans and Aldyr talking for a moment. You really aren't sure if they'll follow you in, or if they should. At this point, you can only trust their judgment.

You wonder what they're thinking of you. How mysterious must they think you're acting right now? But at least if they don't come with you, they'll be safe from you, you think morosely.