Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am simply taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe.

Rating: Still T...

Episode Tags: Takes place in Season 7 after 7.16 Death Knell. Tag to 5.13 Proving Ground.

A/N: No specific triggers for this chapter. Contains bad language. I have no beta, so all mistakes are my own.

Chapter 8: Reactivation

I walked into the conference room after lunch to find Jack breaking down one of the newfangled Air Force pens that arrived last week like it was a P-90 and Teal'c sitting stoically, hands folded on the table watching him, but still no General. I noted Jack was sitting on the opposite chair to where he would normally sit, facing Sam's old seat.

"Hey Jack, how did the meeting with MacKenzie go?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Alright I suppose." He countered without removing his eyes from his task.

"Alright you suppose?" I quizzed in a drawn-out tone as I took my seat.

"What do you want to hear Daniel? That I am good – OK – right as rain?" He bit back without so much as looking in my direction.

"Hell no, Jack, if you said any of those things, I would call you a liar."

"Well, there you go." He responded dismissively. The pen was now completely disassembled.

"Forgive me gentlemen." The General said as he walked in the room. I noted that Jack didn't so much as move a muscle when normally he would stand or at least straighten in his chair when the General entered the room. If Hammond noticed, he didn't say anything.

"What are we here for George?" Jack asked.

"I beg your pardon, Colonel?" The General said with emphasis on Jack's rank. Oh boy. I watched Jack as he put the partially reassembled pen on the table and looked at the General.

"I said, what are we –"

"I heard what you said Colonel!" He boomed.

"Right." Jack responded, his voice despondent and highly disrespectful. I may not be military, but I had worked around them long enough to know that Jack's behaviour could very well see him in a holding cell if he wasn't careful.

"Colonel, whether you like it or not, SG-1 needs a replacement team member."

"Oh, for crying out loud General. Sam is dead! Has been for just a week. Can't we do this another time, or better yet never!" Jack bellowed, coming to his feet, and throwing the pen across the room before slamming his fist on the table, making me jump in my seat. I had seen Jack angry; I had seen him grieving, but both together was truly scary.

"Stand down Colonel!" The General roared with the same gusto. "I understand that you have lost a member of your team, but that does not mean that this base will stop operating." The two men stood staring each other down. I saw the exact moment that Jack gave ground, his defeated form slumping back into his chair.

"I think what Jack means to say is perhaps we could do this next week. Maybe after her service?" I said, trying to defend Jack's unorthodox behaviour.

"I wish it were possible Doctor Jackson. Unfortunately, the Joint Chiefs do not agree. Normally Colonel O'Neill would choose his own team member…" A loud derisive snort and a mumbled "since when" from Jack momentarily derailed the General, "…but in this case, I have assigned Captain Jennifer Halley to SG-1 as a replacement for Major Carter." Hammond finished as he retook his seat. I couldn't stop my eyebrows raising and the utter look of disbelief from spreading across my face. Wow, what a way to help Jack get over the loss of Sam – by assigning a young, brilliant, blonde-haired, blue-eyed scientist with attitude to the team – instead of letting him make his own decision about SG-1, or better still letting the man retire. Not that I thought retiring would be good for him right now. Without this job, he would most likely disappear into the wilds of Minnesota, never to be seen again. Still, I could see that this was going to end very badly. Peripherally, I saw movement in the doorway and looked up to see the young woman in question enter the room.

"Captain Jennifer Halley reporting for duty Sir!" She said confidently, her salute sharp and well executed. Yeah, this was going to go down like a fighter jet on fire. Jack said nothing, not even an acknowledgement of her arrival.

"Welcome Captain Halley, please take a seat." The General said. I watched as she pulled out the chair that Sam would normally sit in.

"Not there, Captain." Jack growled through gritted teeth, his darkened eyes staring her down. I flicked my eyes to find Jack tensed and breathing hard. As far as he was concerned, that chair belonged to Sam and no one else should ever sit there again.

"Captain, allow me." I interrupted quickly, rising, and pulling out the next chair over. "Doctor Daniel Jackson."

"Yes, I know, Doctor. You were the Goa'uld." She responded humourlessly but took the offered chair in any case. I smiled, and noticed Jack relax slightly.

"Of course, how could I forget." I smiled, retaking my own seat. I remembered this Captain as a Lieutenant in training a few years ago, her level of intelligence made her arrogant and self-important. I hoped she had mellowed because if not – Jack would eat her alive.

I refocused on General Hammond as he removed the elastic band from a stack of folders, passing one to each of us. "P4Y-879 popped up from the list of addresses input by Colonel O'Neill."

"When he had the repository of the Ancients uploaded to his brain, Sir?" Halley clarified.

"Yes Captain. The tablet found by SG-11 on last week's mission to P7F-225 shows a Gate address that reassembles that of P4Y-879. Doctor Balinsky believes there may be some Ancient ruins on that planet. I am sending SG-1 to do the initial scouting and for you, Doctor Jackson, to confirm the validity of anything worth studying at those ruins."

"With all due respect General, Balinksy isn't versed in Ancient." I responded. "Perhaps we should check his translation." I suggested, indicating Jack, Teal'c and myself, almost missing the look of veiled resignation on Jack's face. At least it was something other than the pain and sorrow of the last few days.

"I understand that the three of you are experts in Ancient, however that won't be necessary." Hammond replied, his hand held up in a placating gesture. I noticed a look of surprise from the Captain when the General referred to us as experts.

"How can you be certain he has translated correctly?" I pressed.

"This tablet was unique; in that it had an obscure dialect of Goa'uld and Ancient on the same tablet." General Hammond replied. I was aghast that I wasn't made aware of this sooner.

"We found a tablet akin to the Rosetta Stone with Ancient and Goa'uld and you're only telling me this now?" I asked in disbelief, despite knowing that last week, Jack was watching Sam die in the field while I translated some meaningless piece of rock instead of being at Alpha where I was needed more than anything.

"Can it Space Monkey, you can look at your rock when we get back." Jack replied. Somewhere, he had found a new pen and was busy dismantling it. "When do we leave General?" He asked. Hammond nodded at Jack's seemingly changed behaviour, which I saw as nothing more than the calm before the storm.

"0900 tomorrow morning. In the meantime, you all have the rest of the day off. Dismissed." The General stood, along with the rest of us. Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out, leaving the pen in pieces on the table.

Watching him leave, I knew I had to do something. I had tried subtly suggesting that he just take the plunge and go through the mirror to Samantha, or – if not that – at least send her a note, but the man was probably the most stubborn son of a bitch I knew. The one time I did get in his face about Samantha, the glass of juice he was drinking smashed on the wall beside my head as he roared for me leave him alone – to be left in his grief to handle it alone. The problem was, he wasn't handling anything – rather he was letting her absence kill him.

Right – first things first – I had to get this mission scrubbed, then I would send a note through myself. Once Samantha knew the cascade failure was not a problem, maybe she would come back here and help me pull Jack out the cycle of depression he had spiralled into. I turned and followed Hammond.

"General." I called, then followed him. "General, do you have a moment?"

"I have another briefing in 10 minutes Doctor Jackson."

"I only need five Sir." I responded, using the Sir purely as a form of respect, since what I was about to say would not be well received.

"Take a seat."

"I'd rather stand. Umm…" I paced with one hand on my hip, the other on my mouth. "General, Jack is not well enough to be going on this mission."

"Well, apart from his attitude, he seems fine. Doctor MacKenzie thinks he is well enough for active duty, and I am inclined to agree."

"With all due respect, General, I disagree. Teal'c, Janet and I have been watching him around the clock. General, he is not ready to be going off-world."

"Doctor Jackson, whether you believe he is or is not ready, quite frankly, is irrelevant. The Joint Chiefs have made it clear that P4Y-879 is high priority. All my other exploration teams are scheduled, that leaves SG-1, and since Doctors Fraiser and MacKenzie have cleared him, I see no problem."

"Oh c'mon! Jack may be physically fit, but he is not emotionally fit. Surely MacKenzie can see that?"

Hammond leaned forward bracing his forearms on his desk. "MacKenzie has cleared him for active duty." He responded. This was ridiculous, everyone knew Jack could pass a psych test with his eyes closed, that didn't mean he was actually fit. He would have answered correctly just to avoid any more sessions with MacKenzie.

"General, we just lost Sam, Sir. We haven't even buried her yet, and you are asking, no ordering us to go on another mission." I pleaded. I knew it sounded desperate, and that was exactly what I was. Desperate. None of us were ready to go on a mission, well maybe Teal'c was, but Jack certainly wasn't. I knew he had found something to drink last night, I smelled it on him when he shuffled out of his room this morning, not to mention his injured hand which we all studiously ignored. "Sir, Jack is not sleeping, he is barely eating, he is a liability to the team." I explained, trying to get him to see how bad an idea this was.

"I am sorry Doctor Jackson. Now, if you'll excuse me." He said with finality before checking his watch, standing and side stepping me to go to the conference room for his next briefing.

"Yep, that went well." I murmured to myself. Leaving his office via the other door.

I wandered down the corridor to the elevators. I was sure I had some work to do in my office. Yet somehow, I found myself in Sam's lab instead. Her laptop sitting there closed, the blinking green light showing a full battery. Jack must have returned it at some point. Walking around to the other side of her lab desk, I ran my hand over the smooth exterior of the machine. Deciding I wanted to re-read her letter to me, I opened the lid and found her personal folder.

Skimming the list of files, a recognised the names of almost a dozen SGC members and other family that Sam had written letters to. Further down was her cypher. Good, I'd need that for the message I had to send – problem was I didn't know what to lead with. Jack had already given me the password the find the right reality, but with everything going on, we hadn't had time to send anything through the mirror. I studied the cypher, it was easy, I was surprised that Sam hadn't made it more complicated. I quickly emailed it to myself before grabbing a sheet of paper and writing out a simple encoded message – "Sam KIA. Please come" – then shutting down the file and emailing it to myself. I'd drop the note through before I went home.

Scanning further down, I saw the video file she had left for Jack. I knew I shouldn't watch it, but dammit, she was my sister by choice – my teammate – my friend too. So much about their relationship had been hidden. I knew she and Jack were together, hell, I knew they loved each other. They had for years. Making my decision, I hit the button Sam had built into her lab desk to shut the doors and double clicked.

Shuffling down the corridor on level 19, hands shoved in my pockets, I already knew where I was heading. I had left the briefing with Halley on my heels, expertly dismissing her without so much as a blink of my eye. I really didn't have it in me to play nice with the fresh-faced scientist. I had made my way to the commissary, taken a blue jello and sat at SG-1's table, though I didn't do much more than play with it. I had eaten no more than 2 spoonsful of the stuff in the 10 minutes it took to drink my coffee. There had been chocolate cake on offer, but I just wasn't feeling it. Chocolate cake was normally consumed over chit chat with my Major opposite me while she ate the blue jello. A scene that I would never be a part of ever again. It hurt more than I was willing to admit. I had left without returning the uneaten dessert.

Coming up to her lab door, I was surprised that it was closed. Her red experiment in progress light was on, which meant the door had been shut from her desk or with her ID card, the latter obviously being impossible, since I had that burning a hole in my pocket alongside her dog tags. Just one more tangible thing of Sam's that I was unable to part with. I swiped my card and opened the door to find Daniel standing behind her lab desk, staring at her laptop with tears streaming down his face, the sounds of Sam's voice echoing through the room. I recognised it immediately.

"What the hell!" I growled. He looked up with a start and moved away from her laptop quickly. "How dare you watch that!" I yelled, striding forward, and slamming the lid closed, my injured hand clenching into a fist. I ignored the pain as the nearly mended cuts split open.

"Jack, I'm sorry, I just…" He shook his head. "Nothing, I'm sorry."

"You had no fucking right! That video is mine." I cursed at him, roughly pulling the power cable out of the socket and tucking the laptop with its still connected charger under my arm.

"Sorry, the laptop was there, I needed her cypher and I wanted to read my letter again, I really had no excuse for watching… I just... my God Jack, she loved you so much." He said as he wiped his tears away. I blinked rapidly and looked to the ceiling to stop my own from starting. This wasn't the place.

"Damn straight!" I yelled back before turning on the balls of my feet and leaving the room. I knew he would follow; it was his standing MO for any kind of emotional display.

"Jack! Stop!" He called out. I stopped, then turned to look over my shoulder, my emotion carefully locked away.

"You should message her, even if you won't go. She deserves to know why Sam isn't contacting her anymore."

"You do it. She isn't my Sam, just another Sam. How can you ask me to replace my Sam with another Jack's Sam? I growled.

"I didn't ask Jack. Sam asked, from what I understand – she begged you to live for them both."

I swallowed hard a few times willing the lump of emotion back down to where it belonged. I know what she asked, couldn't get it out of my head. My problem was that I couldn't live for us both when I had died with her.

"Are you going to be OK on this mission." Daniel asked.

I barked out a laugh, but it sounded hollow, then levelled my gaze back at him. "I'll do my duty Daniel, just like always." Then I turned and walked around the corner, eager to get off this base and home, hell anywhere but here.

As for tomorrow, I'd be the good little soldier. I'd go through the Gate, hell I might even play nice with the locals, but my mind would be forever filled with the blonde hair blue-eyed Major that lodged herself in my heart as a Captain so many years ago. I knew I was in trouble from the moment that she walked into that room all bright eyed and spitting fire 7 years ago. It was like the tiny bit of my soul that had not turned black and shrivelled looked up and recognised her as my saviour. She had healed me bit by bit over the years. Now, she was gone, and that little bit of untarnished soul had gone with her. If the Air Force wanted a machine, that was what they would get, because any humanity I had left died with Sam in the bloodied dirt on the Alpha site.