Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am simply taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe.

Rating: Still T...

Episode Tags: Takes place in Season 7 after 7.16 Death Knell.

TRIGGERS: Assisted suicide, depression, PTSD.

A/N: If you or anyone you know suffers from the Black Dog, encourage them to seek help. Ask them R U OK? I have no beta, so all mistakes are my own.

Stay with me guys, we are getting closer to the big meeting... I promise. The light at the end of the tunnel still looks like a train for poor Jack.

Chapter 13: Collateral Damage

Monday evening: 16th February 2004 – 10 days after Sam's death

It was late. I knew I should go home since I was not on roster tonight. Warner had the floor. Yet I could not bring myself to leave. Tonight was the first night Jack was out of the infirmary after his mission ordeal on Friday. He had managed to get three partially decent nights of sleep under relatively heavy sedation. Over the years, the man had built up a natural resistance to many of the intravenous and intramuscular sedatives we kept in the infirmary. Tonight he was in base quarters under order from General Hammond. The sudden ringing of my phone jolted me out of my melancholy.

"Doctor Fraiser." A deep voice I knew to be Teal'c sounded.

I smiled. "Hi Teal'c. How are yo-"

"Doctor Fraiser, O'Neill is in need of your assistance." He said sternly.

"Where is he Teal'c?" I asked as I came to my feet.

"The bathroom in his quarters. He is evacuating his last meal as we speak."

"I'm on my way." I said quickly. I quickly hung up the phone and grabbed my med bag as I left my office and made for the elevators.

According to Warner, he had had a reaction to the Zolpidem given on Friday night, the most notable side effect being the vivid dreams and hallucinations featuring Ba'al and Sam. It had been heartbreaking to watch him thrash on his bed as if he were tied down screaming for Ba'al to leave her alone only to have him sit up straight moments later and grasp an unsuspecting nurse telling her not to leave him, that he couldn't live without her. There had not been a dry eye in the room, even Teal'c – who had taken watch that night – had been shaken. We had to change to Methohexital - a type of barbiturate sedative – for Saturday and Sunday nights. Tonight, he was on nothing just so we could see how he fared.

As I exited on level 25, I could already hear the commotion coming from his room. I approached the door and knocked. I was surprised to find Daniel open the door.

"Hey Janet. You gotta give him something. He's…" He looked up to the ceiling. I could see he was not doing well with Jack's episodes. I was surprised he was here after having a staff weapon pointed at him. It was a true testament to his friendship. I walked through the door and found Jack curled up on the floor in the foetal position and hugging his head, wracking sobs shaking his entire body. Pain lanced through me at the sight of such a strong man in such a state. I walked over to him, kneeled carefully, and laid my hand on his shoulder. He didn't acknowledge my presence.

"What happened Daniel?" I asked unable to hide the worry on my face.

"I think he is remembering his hallucinations from Saturday. He was asleep, as Teal'c came in to relieve my watch, he woke up with a start and bolted for the bathroom to be sick."

"That's when Teal'c called me." I replied. He nodded, then took off his glasses and pressed his fingers to his eyes.

"Janet?" I turned my head to find Jack staring at me with a hollow look. "Janet… I killed her… she's dead… I did it…" His voice was broken and cracking then turned angry, "…he made me do it… I'll kill him… I'll find him and carve his heart out." He spat, the anger was palpable, then his face dropped again. "I miss her… she was so beautiful and smart, and beautiful. I loved her Janet."

Tears filled my eyes, and I could not stop myself from reaching out a hand to wipe the solitary tear from his face. "Oh Jack, she loved you too. You didn't kill her, you saved her. You made her so happy." I sniffed remembering the last girl's night I had with Sam and how much she gushed over him. Sam never gushed; it had not been her style, but with Jack, things were different.

"So… you gonna spill?" I asked as I filled her wine.

"No. A girl shouldn't kiss and tell." She responded.

"Oh, c'mon Sam, you gotta give me something." I begged. She smiled shyly into her glass looking at me over the rim. "Please!" I implored.

She giggled, "Oh alright! He's amazing. He makes breakfast and fluffs my pillows…" she paused, taking a sip of her wine, "…you know that song 'It's in his kiss'? With him, it's all true. He doesn't have to say he loves me. He shows me, every minute that we are together, even when he's hiding it from other people. I feel it in my heart and my mind. Always."

I remembered her far away smile over the remnants of her wine. From what we could piece together on Saturday, Jack had hallucinated Ba'al forcing him to shoot Sam on the planet only to strap him down and make him watch her bleed out while she begged him to help her. As if what Jack went through wasn't bad enough – both times – in our attempt to help him, we created a hallucinatory world where his worst two nightmares meshed together as one. We had hoped the amnesia afterwards would stick, but there was always a chance the patient would remember. I sighed and uncapped a shot of the barbiturate sedative. Moving his shirt, I injected it into his shoulder, then rubbed the site. It wasn't long before his eyes drooped. I looked up at Teal'c and nodded, then moved so he could be placed on his bed.

"Take care of him guys, you know where I am if you need me." I said to the remaining members of SG-1.

"Thanks Janet." Daniel whispered as I closed the door behind me.

Heading back to the elevator, I could not help but burst into tears. I cried for Sam, I cried for the pain Jack was going through. I cried for SG-1, and I cried for myself. I realised I had stopped thinking of Jack as Colonel O'Neill at some point during this week. He was my best friend's partner. He was Jack. The elevator opened to reveal General Hammond. I swallowed and stood to attention as best I could.

"Sir." I sniffed. He waved my stand to away. "Sorry." I said quickly and wiped my eyes.

"How's Jack?" He asked as I stepped into the elevator.

"I just gave him a shot, he's not good General." I said looking down and seeing the white envelope in his hand. His gaze followed mine.

"Is that for Samantha?" I asked.

"You knew?"

"Yeah, Sam told me a few years ago." I replied. "Don't worry, no one else knew until last week." He nodded as the elevator stopped on level 24. "Good night, Sir."

"Good night, Doctor. Take care of him." He replied as the door slid closed. I looked from the slate grey of the doors over to the white lit button and red scrolling numbers. At this stage, I wasn't sure I could help him. He was part of the expansive collateral damage left in the wake of Sam's death, and with him, SG-1 had been swept up in his blast radius.

The other side – Tuesday morning

"I thought you put a stop to this nonsense Kawalsky." I bellowed as I walked into his makeshift office on level 25. Sure, he was the base 2IC, though how he managed to get that job over someone of a higher rank, I will never know. I guess nepotism was alive and well here, what with General Hammond and his goddaughter in cahoots.

"Another one?" He asked as I flung it on his desk. The order of Stargate symbols meaning nothing to me.

"Yes. They are trying to contact her. She cannot be allowed to leave this reality Lieutenant Colonel." I snarled at him.

"What do you want me to do about it, Sir? I can hardly stop them; all I can do to intercept their messages." He complained.

"I told you to erase her board so that they couldn't find us." I fired back at him.

"What, and tip her off Sir?" He bit back. I scowled but did not answer. "Sir, Samantha is smart. At the moment, she thinks the silence is from their side, she has no idea that they have attempted contact." He explained.

"Go on." I prompted.

"I have erased the board from their side so she can't find them. If we do the same here, she will suspect something. Right now, we are in control. Look, we only have two more days. Her normal contact day was Tuesday, that's today, so she is unlikely to visit the mirror until tonight or even tomorrow, particularly if we give her some deadlines."

"Grieves and Kershaw's team brought back some crystals from their last mission. It is said that they have the ability to cloak their entire planet."

"Is that the Sentinel device from Latona?" He asked.

"No, they didn't bring samples back from there, only pictures and schematics. Besides, that fell flat, the device didn't work. I have received news that the Goa'uld destroyed their planet."

"How about the Tollan terraforming device that Newman brought back yesterday?" He asked.

"That will work."

"OK, so I'll put these crystals and the terraform device on her work schedule and request urgent reports. Hopefully that will keep her busy." Kawalsky replied.

I wasn't entirely convinced that Kawalsky was on the right side. He was too close to Samantha. The kid called him uncle and I knew he'd dipped his wick there a few years ago, after O'Neill checked out.

"Be sure that you do Kawalsky." I said, before producing a small, unmarked bottle from my pocket. "Oh, and if she does try to run, I trust you will do all you can to keep her here." I placed the bottle on the table. He nodded, taking the bottle, and slipping it into his breast pocket.

"Yes Sir. You can count on me." He replied. I nodded and left his office heading for the elevator.

It was only a matter of time. We were all but ready to make our final move. Within a week, Kinsey planned on removing General Hammond from command. He had a replacement already earmarked. Someone who shared our goal of technological advance by any means necessary. He wasn't General West, but he was the next best thing. The only loose end we had was Samantha O'Neill. She was too headstrong, too much like her husband to simply let this happen. Kawalsky was under the misguided impression that she would stay on this base after Hammond was gone. He had plans to try to woo her back into his good graces. Stupid man. She would never have him; she would pine for Jack O'Neill for the rest of her short life.

Not that it mattered. I had a nice little hole in the basement of Area 51 with Samantha O'Neill's name on it. The trap was set. By Thursday afternoon, Samantha would be in Nevada. We'd throw her brat through the mirror just before the concrete was poured. I might even disconnect the mirror before the pour, it really depended on Samantha's attitude.

Once Makepeace left, I looked at the sealed envelope, I recognised the writing. It belonged to General Hammond. I don't know what possessed me to open the envelope, it's not like a knew the code. Regardless, I unfolded the piece paper. There, staring back at me, were perfectly legible English words. A simple sentence in the cursive style I was so used to.

Attention: Dr. Samantha O'Neill.

It is with regret that I inform you of the death of Major Samantha Carter. Killed in action while in service to her planet. I am sorry for your loss.

Major General George Hammond

So, she was dead. I found myself swallowing a lump in my throat. I remembered the mission through the mirror, seeing how different she was to my Samantha. The short hair, military presence, the uniform. As far as intelligence went, she was the same, but she had something else – toughness, guile, and strength. To be honest, meeting that Samantha had been what drew me to her as more than the friend of her husband. O'Neill obviously had no interest in his Major and vice versa, unlike in my reality. If had stayed there, I might have had a chance. When we were forced to return, I saw an opportunity to learn more about my Samantha. I wanted to see if she possessed the same traits hidden somewhere deep. All I found was her ability to break my heart. I had been an idiot.

Somewhere in those first few weeks after we returned, I had fallen in love with her. Then she discovered she was pregnant with what I thought was my child, and she panicked. But Grace had not been mine, she was without a doubt Jack's little girl. The hair, the smile, the dimples. She had been born with blue eyes, but they quickly turned brown – O'Neill brown. I scrunched up the note in anger. There was no way that Grace was her husband's either. Since our lunch, the thought never left me. I had run the dates backwards from Grace's birthday – 8th May 2000 – knowing that she was bang on time, because it was me that held Samantha's hand through it. I was there when the midwife pronounced her a healthy 40-week baby. That meant she was conceived after Jack was killed and before our first time together.

I didn't care anymore. Makepeace had a plan, and I was determined to see it through. I entertained locking her out of 3B, but that was pointless. The woman built most of the current systems in this place, so keeping her out of anywhere she wanted to go would simply not happen. All I had to do to make sure she stayed on this side of the mirror. If that failed, Makepeace had been clear. The girl was acceptable collateral damage. Had she been my best friend's daughter, things would be different – but she wasn't. She belonged to that imposter. Opening my drawer, I pulled out my lighter. The paper caught quickly. Within moments, the note from the other side was nothing but ash. Two days. That was all. I could do that. I would bury her so deep in work that she forgot about the mirror until it was too late.