Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am simply taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe.
Rating: Still T...
Episode Tags: Takes place in Season 7 after 7.16 Death Knell.
TRIGGERS: Depression, Firearms, Suicide, a touch of DV if you look very hard.
A/N: If you or anyone you know suffers from the Black Dog, encourage them to seek help. Ask them R U OK? Contains some bad language. I have no beta, so all mistakes are my own.
Chapter 16: Finding Home
The drive back home was frenzied. I needed to get out now, Arizona was no longer an option. I needed to go through the mirror, but something told me I would have a fight on my hands. I grabbed mine and Grace's go bags that I had prepared before the Asgard summit just in case we had to flee. I opened the safe and stuffed its contents into another bag and almost ran back down the corridor. Jack had hidden away a decent amount of cash over the years as a fall back in case something bad happened. When it was clear we could not stop the Goa'uld, he had cleared out every bank account we owned and stuffed it all in the safe. I stood in the lounge room of the craftsman that had been my home with Jack and tried to see everything left as just things instead of memories before opening the door and leaving for the last time.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled into Uncle George's driveway. Uncle George knew the real reason I was leaving. If I wanted a position at the SGA, he'd have found it for me. I had been lucky to have Grace being cared for by Jennifer Hammond when I was working. She had practically grown up with Kayla and Tessa as older sisters but being constantly around Charlie was hard and getting worse. With each passing year, Grace looked and acted more and more like her father. Charlie wanted more from me than I was able to give him, but ever since he worked out Grace wasn't his, he had little time for her. A notion I found hard to deal with since my Jack had been his best friend. I found myself wondering how long ago he guessed the truth of her conception, not that it mattered. Jack was Jack as far as I was concerned, no matter where he was from. He may have had different experiences, but he was still the same person. Kayla opened the door after my second knock.
"Mrs O'Neill! Grace! Your Mum is here." She yelled down the hallway before dashing away leaving me in the foyer. I smiled.
"Samantha." I looked up to Jennifer coming down the stairs.
"Sorry I'm late Jen, I… ah… is Uncle George home?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah, he's out the back with the girls. C'mon." She waved me down the hall. We passed through the entertainment room and out the back door.
"Mummy!" Grace squealed. I braced myself as 15 kilograms of dark blonde haired, brown eyed 3-year-old collided with my legs, her face already reaching my waist which was not surprising considering how tall both Jack and I are. I found it hard to believe she would be four in a few months.
"Hey kiddo!" I smiled at her blooming smile. Oh, she was definitely Jack's little girl.
"Samantha." Uncle George greeted me with a hug. "How are your plans for Arizona going?"
"Ummm, actually, there's been a change of plans." I replied.
"Oh?"
There was no sense in drawing this out longer than it had to be. "I… we need to go through the mirror." I said quickly, gesturing to Grace who was already back with Kayla and Tessa. He looked around making sure Jennifer and the girls were out of earshot.
"From what I understand, you can't share a reality with another one of yourself." He replied.
"The other Sam is gone. Killed in action."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Uncle George replied.
"Grace is his daughter." I confessed, which earned me a set of raised eyebrows.
"His?" He queried with a look of bewilderment.
"Yes, we kinda… I mean I kinda… umm... you know." I said, biting my lower lip.
"I see. Unfortunately, I can't let you go. This reality still needs a Samantha Carter."
"It's Samantha O'Neill." I corrected. "Please, Uncle George. He needs me, and I need him." I pleaded. "We need him." I said, motioning to the ball of energy rolling on the grass in her new white dress.
He sighed, "Samantha, you can't thrust a 3-year-old on a man and expect him to be OK with that." He replied. I felt warm tears pooling under my lashes.
"I know. I know. I just can't stay here. It's not just Jack there, Dad is there, and you are there. I need to try." I said unable to stop the tears. I watched him study me quietly.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry Sam, the mirror is being transported to Area 51 tomorrow morning where it will be placed in the ground and covered with concrete."
I looked down, unable to hide the shock on my face. I swallowed and looked back up. There was something in his eyes, something telling me he had said what he was supposed to say. Was his property bugged? Surely, they wouldn't do that. Then I remembered how thoroughly Jack would check our house at least once a week, sometimes more often. I thought he was being paranoid, until one day he found several listening devices – so small you wouldn't even know they were there. After that, he taught me to sweep, though I had not found anything since he had died. I responded in kind. "I understand General. Our flight to Arizona leaves in two hours. I had best go."
He nodded with a grim smile just as Gracie ran up to me.
"We go to aeroplane now?" She asked jubilantly.
I smiled, "Yes honey, I have your stuff in the car. Say bye to Grandpa George."
I watched as she threw herself at my honorary father. "Bye bye Granpa Dorge. I see you soon." I couldn't help the tears, knowing that wasn't the case.
"Goodbye Gracie, enjoy your plane ride to Arizona and take care of your Mummy."
"Goodbye Uncle George and thank you. Be sure to visit us." I said, giving him a hug.
"Take care of yourself Sam." He said out loud, before turning his head slightly, "And take care of him." He whispered. We parted and I gathered up Gracie. As we reached his front door, I turned and waved for the last time.
I jumped in Teal'c's monster SVC and left the base faster than the posted speed signs allowed. No doubt I would catch hell for that when the General found out. It was growing dark, by the time I had made it to the surface, Samantha had been gone for nearly an hour, I hoped she would be able to return soon since checking in hourly would not be an easy feat. We could have chucked the controller back through the mirror, but after seeing and speaking to Kawalsky, I wasn't convinced that he was entirely sane. It was just as likely that he would throw the controller through to another reality. At least with us, it was safe. With us, it gave us a chance of extracting Samantha and Grace. Now we just had to get Jack on board, or failing that, keep him alive until we could get them here.
Arriving at Jack's 11 minutes later, I noted his house was shrouded in darkness, except for the one light in the spare bedroom. That must be where Janet and Cassie were holed up. Not bothering with knocking, I opened the unlocked door.
"Jack!" I called. Big mistake. I ducked as a round hit the wooden door to the left of where my head had been mere seconds ago. "Shit, what the hell!" I cursed.
"Danny? What're you doin' here?" Jack slurred. Oh great, he wasn't just drunk, he was hammered and wielding a firearm. Great combination! I would have preferred it if he were throwing things. I looked in the direction of his voice, but the hues of dark grey and black made it impossible to see where he was. I flicked on his hallway light causing him to wince.
"Jack?" I looked closely as I walked toward the sunken lounge, stopping at the top of the two steps. There he was, still in his dress uniform, jacket opened, tie loosened, shoes off, slouching in his easy chair cradling what looked like a near empty bottle of scotch in one hand, and his loaded Beretta in his other hand. "Oh, Jack." I thought I had seen it all after he lost Charlie, but this was worse.
"Shesh gone Danny. My Shams'gone." He slurred, taking another gulp straight from his bottle.
"Yeah, I know buddy." I said quietly as I took the two steps and slowly edged toward the broken man, careful not to startle him. "Jack, you need to give me the gun." I tried to reason with him.
"Why? I need it." He said, hugging it to himself, the barrel pointing up under his chin. If I couldn't get him lucid, there was no way he'd be helping us with Samantha and Grace tonight.
"No – no you don't Jack." I took another step. "What you need is a hot shower, something to eat and some sleep." He stared at me with bleary eyes. I ducked out of the way as he lifted the gun and waved it in my direction before pressing it to his cheek.
"I need it, to go to her. I need… Sham. Sham Carta… Sham CartaOneel." He garbled, a single tear rolling down his face as he rubbed the end of the barrel up and down along his jawline, his finger much too close to the trigger for my liking. I edged closer. I heard someone approach from behind. Turning my head, I saw Janet and Cassie. I motioned for them to stay.
"Jack, she doesn't want you to go, not yet… remember her video." I said as I finally made it to his chair, crouching to be on his level. "C'mon Jack. Remember what she said." I pleaded as I reached out slowly and turned his face towards mine. I held my other hand out toward the gun. He just looked at me, looked at my hand, then back at me as I slowly relieved him of his gun with one hand, the other pulling him into a hug. The wracking sobs coming from this tough, no nonsense black ops Colonel was tragic. "Janet, safety this and lock it away. Try and change the code if you can." I said, passing the Beretta off before wrapping my other arm around the drunk and weeping man clinging to me. "It's OK Jack, it's OK." I soothed.
"Is he going to be OK?" Cassie asked as she placed a hand on his shoulder.
"He will be, just not yet." I replied with a sad smile as Janet returned to the room.
I held him close for what felt like hours, though it could only have been minutes. Jack pulled back, his eyes red and swollen. "Sham wanted my babies Schpace Munkee, she left me her oven." He slurred gesturing to a tatty envelope on his coffee table. I looked at it and could just make out the title on the envelope. Ovum, not oven I corrected internally. I sighed knowing he had been handed a gift he would likely never use. He lifted the bottle to his lips again, but I intercepted it.
"Ah Jack, I think you've had enough." I said, taking the bottle from his hand and passing it off to Cassie. "C'mon, up you get." I stood and hauled him out of his chair by his coat lapels.
"Wait… I need that!" He said pointing wildly in a sweeping arc in front of him.
"The photo?" I queried, thinking he was pointing towards the picture of SG-1 on the wall.
"Nooo…" He grouched, batting my hands away. Unfortunately, in a battle between Newton and a drunk man, Newton always won. I looked down at Jack sprawled on the floor at base of his chair. Hauling himself up with all the grace of a turtle on its back, he reached over the side of the chair for a pillow wrapped in a black shirt. A shirt I recognised as belonging to Sam. Once he had his prize, he hugged it to his chest and resumed trying to stand. Taking pity on the man, I motioned to Janet and together we picked him up and half walked, half dragged him down the hall to his bedroom.
"Colonel, you are very uncooperative when you're drunk." Janet complained as we manoeuvred him on his bed. I snorted. Was he ever.
"Janet, can you and Cassie do a clean sweep for anymore booze? I'll get him out of his uniform and into the shower." I asked as I struggled with his jacket and shirt. Jack had started singing a few lines from 'Fields of Gold' in his drunken voice. I moved onto his trousers.
"We did that earlier. The one he had must have been hidden in Sam's pillow."
"You tryna get inta ma pants Danny?" He chortled before falling backwards. I cursed and shook my head as I removed his dress pants. His boxers could stay on. This wasn't a full-on shower, just enough to get him lucid.
"C'mon Jack, up and in the shower." I instructed, pulling him up and guiding him into his bathroom. "We have to go out."
"Go out? Go out where?" Janet demanded as she helped me manoeuvre him through the door. At first, I considered fobbing her off, but I would need her to clear Samantha medically just like last time.
"Teal'c and I are getting him out of this house. Not sure where we're going just yet. Teal'c is back at base. You should come with us; we might need your help." I replied, mindful that Cassie was still in hearing range. It wasn't a lie. We didn't know where this thing with Samantha was going. If she did come through, we would need Janet. There was no need to get Cassie's hopes up only to crush them if we couldn't get Samantha here.
Finally, we got him into the shower recess and leaned him against the wall. "Janet, can you hold him there?" I asked. She nodded. I stepped back, kicked off my shoes and quickly disrobed down to my own boxers. Turning around, I found Janet's eyes wandering. I coughed. She looked away quickly and blushed.
"Sorry." She said with a smirk. I smiled.
Holding Jack steady with one hand, I leaned forwards to turn the shower on. Jack didn't so much as complain as the burst of cold water hit him. Soon enough it warmed up. Rather than moving Jack's solid mass, I fiddled with the shower rose. He lifted his head from its position where it had lolled onto his shoulder and opened his eyes. They were still the eyes of a mourning, drunk man, but the wild 'I want to end it all' look had departed.
"Jack?"
"Yeah, Danny. I'm 'ere. Wish I wasn't, but I am." He murmured. I smiled.
"Welcome back. Glad to still have you with us." He didn't dignify me with an answer, just reached forward and turned the water off. I stepped out and passed him a towel before getting the second one for myself. As much as I knew Jack needed sleep, we needed him on board to help Samantha and Grace. Kawalsky's behaviour had me concerned.
We got dressed slowly and I helped Jack with his boots since tying laces was still beyond him. We made our way out of the house, and I helped Jack into the passenger side of the SUV before getting in the driver's seat winding down the window as Janet climbed the back seat.
"I'll stay here and tidy up a bit." Cassie said. "Look after him Uncle Daniel." I smiled and looked over to the now sleeping man.
"Yeah, I will." I replied, before reversing out of his driveway. I wasn't sure what the rest of tonight would bring, but at least he would be alive to see the morning.