Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am simply taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe.
Rating: M rated overall
Episode Tags: Takes place in Season 7 after 7.16 Death Knell.
TRIGGERS: Nothing specific.
A/N: This is a longer chapter than normal, but lots to get through.
Chapter 22: Family
Waking up to the pleasant buzz in my tired and aching body was fantastic. I stretched and rolled over to find a posy of wildflowers and a card. Leaning up on my forearm, I reached for the posy and admired the arrangement of colours recognising each one of them as from the myriad of colourful flowers Jack had in the backyard. There were yellows and oranges and pinks – happiness in a bundle of nature he used to call it. I smiled and reached for the card.
Good morning,
I have taken the munchkin and your dad out to get some things. Coffee is on, breakfast is ready. Enjoy your sleep in. After last night and this morning, you deserve it. We have a busy day, dress for working.
Love you, Always!
J
I smiled and flopped back to the bed hugging the card to my chest. He loved me. My God. He loved me! I broke into a smile as I remembered his thoroughly satisfying wakeup call just as the sun peaked through the curtains. What that man could do with his tongue was mind blowing. Since I was a little sore from our activities last night, I immediately repaid him with a rendition of what I had treated my Jack to in the elevator when I went cavewoman years ago. I guess going hammer and tong after four and a half years of celibacy does that to a person, particularly when the man in question was relatively well endowed, and let's not forget his stamina. Charlie had been good, but lacked the staying power for the level of satisfaction I had become accustomed to with Jack.
Throwing back the covers and standing up, I made my way to the bathroom. The first thing I saw was a myriad of little love bites crisscrossing my body. I traced a few of the stretch marks and smiled as I remembered what he said. That I was beautiful and smart, and the mother of his daughter. That was something I dearly wanted to be again. I'd have to talk to him about it since I was not on any form of contraceptive and the end of my cycle in a few days meant I'd be fertile in the next couple of weeks. Well – in his case – one week because our little tumble that gave us Grace was barely 8 days after the end of my cycle. Smiling again, I turned and stepped into the shower.
Less than ten minutes later, I was dressed and standing in the kitchen enjoying a coffee while I munched on a piece of bacon and reading the newspaper. The only problem with eating bacon with your fingers was the greasiness afterwards. I frowned when I saw that the paper towel dispenser by the kettle was empty. Damn. Using my toes to pry the cupboard open from the bottom, I found a new roll of towel, grabbed it and removed a sheet to wipe my fingers, then reached for the dispenser. Sliding the roll down over the centre pole, it met with resistance, which was odd. Lifting the roll up and looking down it, I saw something lodged that I couldn't reach with my fingers.
"What the hell?" I wondered out loud. Lining the dispenser pole up with the whatever it was as best I could, I tapped a few times until it started moving. Tapping some more, eventually the rolled up piece of paper poked out the top. I took it carefully and unrolled it. An envelope that had been torn. Turning it over in my hands, I froze. Shady Grove Fertility Clinic. This was it. This was the letter Dad had given Jack. He had hidden it somewhere it would likely not be found only to be thrown out when the paper towel roll ran out.
"Oh Jack. Why do you do this to yourself."
I slowly pried the envelope open and removed the letter. Unfolding it, I found a printed picture of a young Jack and his Sam with it. One word described that photo. Love. Pure unrequited love. Both in their uniforms, the way he looked at her and held her said everything. She had owned his heart long before anything happened, just as I had owned my Jack's heart long before he had the courage to ask me out. Smoothing the letter out, I read the contents. Sam had not only given Jack ownership of her ovum, she had given him express permission to have them fertilised with his seed and incubated in any manner he chose. The sound of his truck pulling up in the driveway and doors slamming closed had me hastily folding the photo and letter back up, then putting back in its envelope. Shoving it in my jeans pocket, I all but ran to the door as it opened.
"Lucy, I'm home!" He called. I couldn't help but laugh at his broad grin. "We kinda got carried away, we need a bit of help."
"Sure. What did you get?" I asked.
"Oh… not much…"
Mummy! Mummy! Look, Daddy got me a trampalin and a sandpit and a bike! Look this is my helmit and I have…" She scrunched up her face to read the card backing housing the brightly coloured bits of plastic, "Spocky docks? What's a spocky-" She started, but the sound of Jack laughing stopped her.
"Spokey Dokes Gracie. They are Spokey Dokes, you put them on the spokes of your bike to make your riding more colourful."
"Oh! OK!" She said and grinned so broadly; I couldn't help but laugh at her excitable bouncing. I'd seen Jack bounce on his toes more than once over the years.
"What?" Jack questioned.
"She is so like you it's not funny." I said motioning to the bouncing and agitation. He cast his eyes over his daughter.
"I don't do that."
"You totally do do that." I snickered.
"Since when Carter?" He demanded, hands buried in pockets while he rocked on his toes. Lifting my eyebrow, I motioned to his feet. He looked down, the smiled. "Fine! You win Carter."
"C'mon you two, help an old man out, will you?" Dad said as he lifted the bike complete with training wheels out and put it down for Gracie to ride. She jumped on it so fast, she barely had time to clip up her helmet. He then turned back and hauled the trampoline box single handed out of the tray and balanced it on his shoulder before making his way to the backyard.
"Wow! Jack, that has to be 60 kilograms at least, are you sure he's alright with that?" I asked as we moved to the back of the truck, I unloaded the shell sandpit while Jack hauled out a large bag of white sand carrying it the same way as Dad had done.
"Hell yeah, Jacob and Sel'mak put me to shame in the gym. He can bench press over twice what I can. You should see the competitions between him and Teal'c." He chortled.
I watched him thoughtfully for a moment, his letter burning a hole in my pocket. I smiled as we carried the sandpit and sand to the backyard.
"Should we open this now?"
"Nah! We've got something more pressing to do first." He replied pulling me in his arms. I couldn't help but blush at the suggestive tone he used. "Samantha, that is not what I am talking about, you naughty girl." He chuckled before planting a kiss on my lips, "Later though… you're all mine." He released and tugged me back to the truck where I found two large paint cans, a painting tray, drop sheets and a bag of various sized brushes.
"Jack, are you serious?" I looked startled at him and couldn't stop the tears from escaping. "Wow, you're going to paint her room." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed.
"We… we are going to paint her room while Dad takes her out for the rest of the day. It's almost 1000 now, Dad has to be back at base at 1700 to Gate home, so we've got 6 hours. There is a delivery truck coming in a few hours with the stuff that wouldn't fit in the tray."
"But Jack, we'd never get it all done – there's washing and sanding, cutting in, then painting. It's not a small room." I explained turning into him and dragging his arms around me. I vaguely heard a car pull up behind me. He smiled and I craned my head, not wanting to be released from his arms for anyone. Instead, I lifted my arms and spun around. Jack hugged me tighter and rested his chin on my shoulder.
"Hey Jack. Sam. How are you settling in?" Daniel said, a broad smile dancing across his face. Teal'c and Janet walked up behind him with similar smiles.
"Great thanks." I replied and looked back to Jack who smiled so wide I felt my heart nearly explode. Turning back to Daniel, I smiled and repeated, "Pretty damn great actually."
Daniel smiled broadly. "Glad to hear it. So what's on the agenda?" He asked. Jack released me and stepped over to the truck.
"SG-1 team building day, and Doctor Fraiser just in case we injure ourselves." Jack said clapping his hands together then rubbing them in the same fashion that Scrooge McDuck did just before counting his money. I couldn't help but laugh at him. My husband, the love of my life, again.
"You better not, Colonel." She chuckled, "I've just about enough of you in my infirmary lately." She leaned in and grabbed the bag of brushes and tape. Daniel took the tray and rollers while Teal'c hefted the two paint pails.
Exactly five hours later, I flopped onto one of the deck chairs out the back next to Janet while Jack burned the meat, Teal'c watched Jack burn the meat and Daniel tried in vain to clean pink paint off his face. I breathed in the cool crisp air and rubbed my arms. Despite the cloudless sky we had today, it was still cold. As much as I loved it, we wouldn't be out here much longer.
"I can't believe you threw the brush at me Sam." Daniel complained.
"I can't believe you talked nonstop for 45 minutes about the cultural significance of the colour pink in western society." I retorted.
"Hear, hear!" Jack added in.
"You're just mad that I got in first, because God knows we all need another lecture on the density of a nebula or the tectonic properties inherent in red dwarf stars."
I smiled and let me eyes wander to Jack, making sure he was watching before I answered. "Hmmm nah, I'd much rather discuss circumbinary planets, specifically the causality of the transit timing variations being related to the orbital motion of stars rather than gravitational perturbations of other planets." I said, tilting my head on an angle when Jack coughed and tried to hide his reaction.
"Yeah, no thanks Sam. Not really interested in that either." Daniel responded.
I smirked. "Jack likes it." I replied, shooting him my most smouldering look. He coughed and took a swig of his beer. Daniel looked from me to Jack and back to me then smiled. "C'mon Daniel, let's sort out the table." I said and stood up. As I walked past Jack, I let my hand trail down his arm and across his butt. He laced his fingers with mine and tugged me backwards.
"You are going to pay for that later Carter." He purred in my ear then let me go, I giggled and threw a look over my shoulder as I walked through the door behind Daniel.
Once we were in the dining room, Daniel pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, Sam." He said quietly then pulled back, his hands rubbing my arms, "I really thought we had lost him this time. Every time I visited, I prepared myself for the worst, never knowing what I would find." He confessed.
"Yeah, I can imagine. Well, not imagine. I know. God, those first few weeks without Jack were... well they were awful. I did something really stupid. Then when I found out about Gracie, I suddenly had something to live for." I replied.
"So, how are things going?" He asked dropping his hands from my arms then opening the cutlery drawer and passing me a stack of forks.
"We are finding our way together. We still miss our respective Jack and Sam, but I think we are enough like our others to make a go of this. Grace loves him, and he clearly loves her." I replied as we moved around the dining setting things up.
"What about you two though? Any tingles... sharing of an L word?"
I looked up and couldn't stop the smile, "Maybe." I replied as I bit my lip at his raised eyebrows. "OK, yes." I relented. He smiled broadly as he placed drink coasters. Once we were done, we headed back outside to find Jack and Teal'c emptying the bag of sand into the sandpit, the BBQ thankfully turned off.
"Daddy! Outta the way Daddy!" Grace yelled happily as she careened around the corner on her bike, Dad jogging behind her. I couldn't help but giggle at her antics, Jack must have heard because he shot me a look that was part annoyance, but mostly desire. Sam had mentioned something about that but seeing it with my own eyes sent tingles across my whole body. Oh, tonight was going to be fun.
"Hey munchkin!" Jack replied. "How was your day?" He asked, but she didn't answer, choosing instead to keep riding.
"It was great Jack, thanks for asking. Even Sel'mak is tired." He replied just as Grace came tearing back, her little body bent over the handlebars. As she passed by, Jack whisked her up off the bike and into a huge hug.
"Hey munchkin, it's dinner time. But first we have a surprise." He said as he took the steps back up to the deck.
"A surprise! For me!" She asked excitedly.
"Youbetcha munchkin." He replied, then turned toward the backdoor.
Teal'c collected the plate of burnt offerings and Daniel ushered everyone inside. We all made our way down the corridor. Just before we got to Grace's room. Jack put her down and placed his hands gently over her eyes. I reached in and put my hand on the door knob.
"Ya ready?" Jack asked.
"Ya sure youbetcha Daddy!" She replied, using one of his sayings. He looked at me silently asking where that had come from.
"Whatdya expect after living with ya for sooo looong, dohn-tcha know?." I replied in my own rendition of the Minnesotan accent. It was easier than explaining how our 3 year old who had met her Minnesotan father two days ago already knew the lingo. Jack's mouth fairly dropped open. "Didn't except that didya?" I finished and folded my arms over my chest.
"Ya think!" He replied with a huge smile.
"Whatdya waiting for Daddy?" Gracie chimed in, eyes still closed. Jack just laughed then signalled to me, and I opened the door. "Open your eyes, Gracie."
"PINK! My room Mummy, its back." She charged in and jumped on her pink blanketed bed and hugged the pink unicorn, then jumped off when she spied the dolls house complete with Sylvanian family miniatures and furniture. "The rabbit family, I love the rabbit family." Then she saw the chair complete with a pink glitter throw pillow and her copy of Guess How Much I Love You sitting on it. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She ran up and hugged Jack, then me, then Dad. She hugged everyone saying thank you over and over. When she ran out of people, she came back to Jack and looked up at him. "I love you Daddy!"
He reached down and picked her up. "I love you too munchkin." He replied. She smiled back and put her hands on his cheeks, then kissed his nose bringing that trademark Jack O'Neill smile out of hiding.
Sitting at the table, Grace on Jack's knee, we tucked in. The meat was good, despite being a little singed, the lively chatter and antics of father and daughter fighting each other for rogue peas on his plate had me laughing. The end of the evening simultaneously came too fast and not soon enough. Dad was going back to the Tok'ra and tonight would be our first together, just the three of us.
"I'm going to miss you, Dad. When are you here next?"
He sighed, "I don't know Sammy. It depends on what happens with Anubis." He replied then placed a featherlike kiss on my cheek. "Take care of him."
I looked over to Jack who was chatting with Daniel. "I will Dad. I promise." We hugged again and I waved to him as he walked out with Teal'c to head back to base.
"We are going to go as well, Sam." Janet said, coming up and giving me a hug. I hoped I could be as good a friend with her that Sam had been. I had lost my best friend when I lost Sam. "How about we have a girl's night sometime soon?" She asked.
I smiled, "I would love that, Janet." I replied. "Bye Daniel." I said when he sidled up her, his arm going around her shoulders.
"See you on Monday Sam." He replied and waved as they went out to his car.
Jack slipped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and revelled in the feel of him wrapped around me. "Get your jacket, we have one more thing to do." He said, then kissed my temple and moved off to get Grace ready. This man was full of surprises.
A few minutes later, the three of us were in the truck driving through the suburbs. The sun had pretty much set now, the beautiful pinks and oranges lighting up the sky were all that was left. Suddenly, I knew where we were going. "Jack. Are you sure?" I blurted out.
"I am. I can't promise you I'll be OK when we get there. I guess we will see." He replied turning his head back to look out the windscreen.
Eight years. Eight years ago, I buried him here. I had only been here once since. If it hadn't been for Sam, I wouldn't have come. Now I was here again, with another Sam. Pulling into the carpark, I turned off the engine and sat still. Those few weeks ago, I had been worried that I might not find him after so long, but find him I did with barely an upwards glance. Sam and Gracie were waiting for me, not pressuring, just waiting. Slowly I got out of the car.
"I… I don't know if I can do this." I said looking at my feet. It had been hard with Sam. Even after eight years, the idea of facing this head on hurt. He had been my little boy, and through my recklessness, he had died. When the feel of a small hand enveloped mine, I looked down to find Grace looking at me.
"C'mon Charlie is waiting for us. He wants his story." She encouraged. My lip trembled at her simple words. "Maybe you could read to him tonight."
"What? How?" I replied in a shaky voice. She smiled.
"Come, I will show you." She replied, then turned to skipped off in the direction of his resting place. I looked at Sam and found her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She smiled, then reached out her hand. Taking it, we walked slowly through the gate and down the all too familiar column before turning to our right, keeping my eyes down.
"Hello Charlie. How are you today?" Grace asked. I looked up suddenly expecting to see Charlie in person. The way she spoke caught me off guard, but he wasn't there. I swallowed and cursed silently. "I had a great day. Daddy, Mummy and his friends painted my room pink, and buyed me a bike and a unicorn and a pink chair and a trampalin. You would love the trampalin Charlie because it got blue on it." She chortled. I felt my lip trembling again, Charlie's favourite was blue. I looked at Sam. I didn't know what I was feeling. Anger, terror, sadness, guilt, confusion, all of them. Grace was talking to Charlie like he was really here. "Would you like your book now?"
"Sam, what is this?
"I told you she was special." She replied, "It's like she can really see him."
I looked back at my daughter animatedly reading a book to a big brother who had been gone more than twice as long as she had been alive. I remembered the vision – dream – the golden place – whatever it was when we had healed Sam. Grace had been there and so had my Sam and her Jack, but they were dead. I didn't stop to think of that place as anything but a dream. I wasn't sure I believed in the heaven that my grandparents had brought me up to believe in. I had seen too much, killed too many people, fought too many false Gods to believe in that anymore. I let go of Sam's hand and walked over to take a seat on the grass next to Grace. She looked at me and paused her story.
"Say hello to Charlie, Daddy, he misses you."
"Where?" I asked, "I don't see him." I replied. She took my hand and pressed it to my heart.
"Now close your eyes Daddy." She told me. I did and I felt our hands warm up again. Then he was there, in my mind just like Sam had been. The three of us sitting on the grass together, Charlie in place of his headstone.
"Hey Dad, whatdya been doin'?" Charlie asked. He looked just the same as he had the day he died. The same smile, same crazy hair, the same brown eyes. My eyes.
"Oh, ya know - this and that. Working, saving the world." I replied, still not able to comprehend that this was my son. "Charlie, is it really you?"
"Yep!" He said, popping the 'p'.
"How? Grace is only 3, how does she know you?"
"She's special. Just like you and just like me."
"He lives in you, Daddy. In your heart, just like spirit Mummy and like spirit Daddy lives in Mummy's heart. I found him there and took him into mine." Grace said. "Mummy told me the stories spirit Daddy had told her about Charlie and showed me photos. So, I went and found him. You can visit him anytime you like."
"Ya know, Dad, I never blamed you for what happened. It wasn't your fault. You didn't leave it loaded, I found a loose round." He explained. That didn't make me feel any better, having loose rounds is just as bad as having a loaded weapon.
"Still, it should have been locked away instead of where you could find it."
"True." He agreed, "But hey, don't dwell, right?" He said, sounding so much older than the 8 years he still looked like.
"So, what is this place?" I asked gesturing around the fogging golden auraed dreamscape.
"Everywhere and nowhere, Dad." Charlie replied, "Grace can visit me in her dreams when she sleeps with Leo. Beyond that, she uses this place as a conduit. You could do it too with a little practice."
"Me. I don't know Charlie, I wish I could." I replied.
"Do you still have it?" Charlie asked, giving me a look.
"It?" I asked. He didn't respond, instead he scratched his forehead and raised his eyebrows. I swallowed down the hurt. He meant the bullet. I scrunched up my eyes. "Ya, pretty dark hey?"
"Can't get much closer than that Dad. Try it. Maybe your friend Daniel can help you focus." He replied.
A loud yawn from Grace had me turning from Charlie and looking at her. She was sleepy. This – whatever she was doing was sapping her strength. I looked at Charlie and smiled. As much as I wanted to stay, I knew I couldn't. I wondered briefly if Charlie was right and Daniel could help me learn how to tap into my latent Ancient energy.
A loud yawn from Grace had me turning from Charlie and looking at her. She was sleepy. This – whatever she was doing was sapping her strength. I looked at Charlie and smiled. As much as I wanted to stay, I knew I couldn't. I wondered briefly if Daniel could help me learn how to tap into whatever this latent Ancient energy was or if it was Gracie's own gene and ability that amplified my own.
"Go, she can't hold you both here for long." Charlie said, seeing his little sister struggling.
"Yeah. I know." I said thoughtfully. I didn't want to leave, but Grace was flagging, so I gave him a small wave and pulled her hand away from my chest, watching as Charlie faded away leaving only his headstone and the frigid darkness. She slumped on me in the darkened cemetery.
"Jack, is everything OK?" Sam asked, a slight panic in her voice.
"Yeah, everything is fine. She's just tired." I replied, standing up awkwardly when my knees popped and picking her up. "Let's go home."
Flopping onto the bed, I winced when my knees cracked again. Spending the day either crouching or kneeling to paint the walls and then sitting cross-legged with Grace at Crystal Valley had not done me any favours. "Damn, barely two weeks off rota and I'm falling apart." I complained while watching Sam brush her bobbed hair. I was so tired that not even the movement of the sheer nightgown material over her very fine body was eliciting any response. "Better upgrade me while you can." I said while I shuffled back to sit up against the headboard. I couldn't help the cheeky grin when Sam smirked in the mirror.
"You are not old Jack. You'll be up and running from bad guys before you know it." Her reflection admonished, her hairbrush pointing straight at me before putting it down.
"Oh, goodie." I jibed. The sound of her laughter filled the room as she walked over and crawled onto the bed beside me. I automatically curled her into my side and rested my cheek on her head.
"Thank you, Jack." She whispered.
"For what?"
"For including me with the guys and making space in your life for us. For giving Grace her room. For everything that you are." She replied as she snuggled closer. "I'd like to give you something in return."
"You have already given me everything, Sam. More than you know in fact."
"There's something else I'd like to give you Jack." She replied, then reached under her pillow and withdrew a familiar scrunched up envelope causing me to wince. "I accidentally found this today. I want to do this for you, for her, for us."
"Sam, I can't ask you to do that." I replied knowing that I looked a little stricken.
"You don't have to ask. Jack, you gave me my teeny tiny little thing. I want to give you yours." I looked from her to the envelope and back to her, swallowing down the expected lump of emotion before it could manifest it something more. She wanted to give me Sam's child. I knew deep down that DNA wise; they were the same - well except for the naquadah – yet I still felt that they were materially different. That didn't mean I loved Samantha any less than Sam. If anything, my love for Samantha was stronger because of the bond we shared with Grace. I looked into her blue eyes and found that what she was offering was not because she felt she owed me. What I saw was pure love, devotion and a desire to give me what my Sam and I so dearly wanted but couldn't have. In our world, it was the regulations that prevented us, in her world it was Jack's injury rendering him infertile. I swallowed when I finally realised that we were birds of a feather. We were the same, yet different.
"Really?" I asked breathlessly, my lip quivering.
"Really, really." She said with a strange look on her face, fingers poking above her head to represent ears - maybe? - and a weird – I wanted to say Scottish accent – well I assumed that what it was supposed to be. It certainly wasn't Irish, I knew that accent well after having grown up with my grandparents. She rolled her eyes at my confusion. "You Mr. O'Neill are on Shrek watching duty until further notice." She said with raised eyebrows and a flick of her fringe.
"Shrek? What's a Shrek?" I asked.
"Only the most popular kids movie of 2001..." She admonished, "...and consequently the only thing Grace will watch at the moment... well except The Little Mermaid."
"Does that mean I need to get you to fix my VCR?" I asked.
"VCR? Jack please tell me you are joking?"
"What? It's perfectly serviceable, it just needs a tune up from time to time." I defended my archaic entertainment equipment. Of course, I already had a DVD because Teal'c had made me purchase one when he wanted to analyse the difference between the old VCR version of Star Wars and the new digitally remastered DVD version of Star Wars. Something about Han shooting first and stormtroopers wearing sneakers. He had maintained that Han Solo did in fact shoot first.
"That's it, tomorrow we are buying a DVD player and a copy of Shrek." She huffed. I grinned at her. I'd show her the DVD tomorrow. I was having too much fun with this tonight.
"Whatever you say dear." I said with a mocking tone. She huffed at me again, but smiled nonetheless.
I smiled back, "So, when do you want to do this?" I asked as I sank down the bed, my hand tracing circles across her abdomen. I could already imagine a mini Sam or Jack growing there. Suddenly, I found that I had enough energy for nocturnal activities, slipping my hand lower and dropping my head to her breast.
She breathed in sharply when I bit down on her nipple through the nightgown, "How about we go and s-see them on Monday? Ohh! The process takes a-about 6 to 8 weeks." She replied, a little breathless towards the end of her sentence. "We – ohh – we should probably do it before you – mmmm – get me pregnant the old-fashioned way." Her little noises punctuating her sentence when my hand found its target.
"Hmmm, but I like the old-fashioned way." I responded. As I lavished attention on my wife, I thought back over the last two weeks. I had gone from blissfully happy, to a devastated, sad, and broken husk of a man before being revived once again by Samantha Carter. I discovered my amazingly special daughter Grace had a connection with Charlie, and now Sam wanted to give me another gift. I was going to enjoy tonight and every night for the rest of my life.
A/N: My attempt at writing the Minnesotan accent is based on the wonderful world of Google and YouTube combined with a healthy dose of binge watching RDA over the years. Being an Aussie, I have never actually met or spoken to a Minnesotan. *Hint Hint RDA if you're reading this* :D