Author's Note: Hey! Kind of forgot to update this chapter when I first published it on ao3 so have this one and the next together this time around!
Hiruzen's used to failure by now. At the age of sixty-four, his life is a culmination of bad decisions and regretful choices.
In more ways than one, he's his own worst critic but he knows he deserves the harsh thoughts that echo in his head.
The day he became Hokage was his most momentous one. He thought he was going to be the best leader of Konoha, one with brain and brawn. A shinobi who was as good in the political arena as he was in the battlefield.
How wrong had he been.
Leading Konoha, to this day, remains the biggest challenge he has to face. Every single day he wakes up, knowing that he's made some calls that have been awful in hindsight, he's wearily resigned to his duty and the challenge of powering through the consequences.
Eleven years ago, he was enjoying retirement when his peace was snatched away from him in the form of his dead successor. Minato was supposed to be Konoha's shining icon, not her most sensational martyr. Hiruzen wasn't supposed to outlive the young man who was barely in his twenties when death embraced him.
But all of it happened anyway. In one night, Konoha lost its leader and Hiruzen was presented with two choices: either do nothing and let Danzo take over the reigns or speak up, get support and reinforce his hokageship anew.
The choice was clear to him, then. He did what he had to, what he supposed was the right course of action.
He doesn't regret that one decision. What he does regret are his actions thereafter.
Namely, providing his successor's son with the bare minimum in his early childhood. Keeping the general populace unaware of the fact that their loved fourth leader had a son while failing to prevent the news of Naruto's jinchuuriki status from spreading all over.
He regrets not making enough of an effort to reconnect with his two estranged students. He regrets letting the hostility between the villagers and the Uchihas escalate when he could've prevented things ever getting that bad. He regrets taking his position for granted, getting complacent, forgetting what his duties are and why Tobirama-sensei had deemed him worthy to be Hokage in the first place.
Most of all, he regrets turning a blind eye towards Danzo and his misdeeds. Especially so because he'd made that same mistake once before with Orochimaru.
Due to all of this and much more, Hiruzen's no stranger to waking up with a heavy heart. He watches his face in the mirror, traces his age lines carefully and thinks about each day that passes while he spits in the name of the former kages by pushing Konoha to the dogs with his incompetence.
He looks at Kakashi, his willingness to put himself in mortal danger and reminds himself of another child he's failed.
He looks at Naruto and turns the other way because this is a child he's still actively failing.
Turns out, Obito's return is what it takes to give Hiruzen his greatest reality check.
Once he leaves the interrogation cell, he spends the day indulging in self-pity and self-loathing and when he awakes next morning, he snaps out of it.
Mind made, he inks down a letter. After stalling on it for half a decade now, Hiruzen sends his first letter to Itachi Uchiha since the massacre
Then, he mentally prepares an agenda for next week's meeting with his shinobi forces and readies a personal summons for Kakashi.
Before he can send that particular hawk though, his most trusted jounin walks into his office himself with news that relieves a weight off Hiruzen's shoulders as much as it shocks him.
"Good."
"What do you mean 'good'?" Kakashi asks, incredulous. "This is fucking insane. You're supposed to go bonkers over this news."
Hiruzen shakes his head lightly, rubbing a hand down his face. "They're not the most ideal circumstances but I find it a good thing that Naruto's been made aware of his relationship with Minato," he stretches his legs underneath the table, ignoring the jounin's skeptical gaze. "I don't think you'll trust me when I say this but after our talk with Obito, I'd already resolved to tell Naruto everything. I don't want to keep him in the dark and mess things up even further, Kakashi. I can't bear another child losing his laughter, his shine just because I couldn't make the right call."
"You're serious," Kakashi says after a moment. "So what? Now you're just gonna dump everything on Naruto and hope he can deal with it? What happened to waiting till he's ready?"
"If he's not ready then I will help him till he's rode out any overwhelming emotions he feels following the reveal," Hiruzen stares at the bare parchment on his desk. Fiddling with the brush in his hand, he continues, "Besides, now that I properly think about it, I'm not sure he can ever be wholly ready to hear this truth. I doubt any amount of mental fortitude can prevent an outburst when one's told that they've been carrying a beast inside them since birth."
"Is this just your guilt talking?" Kakashi questions with a stern face. "Because this isn't something you can do just to soothe your conscience, Hiruzen. This is bigger than you."
"Don't know I, of all people, know that?" Hiruzen says wryly. "Giving Naruto all the facts as they are is one thing I'm sure will turn out for the better."
"What if... he loses control?" Kakashi presses. "What if he turns bitter? What if he drops out of the shinobi program? What is he... leaves?
"Then he does all of that and we accept it," comes Hiruzen's reply. Though his tone is light, both men are aware that the consequences listed might come true but that's a gamble the hokage's willing to make.
Kakashi nods reluctantly, "I can't change your mind on this one?"
"No. Just trust my judgement, please?"
"I won't," Kakashi sighs. It sounds sad to both their ears. "You've never given me any reason to. But you have authority over me so for once, I'll you do what you want to, how you want to. But if Naruto's not happier by the end of it, I am taking the kid and leaving Konoha forever."
"Don't make such dangerous jokes, Kakashi," Hiruzen begins writing a letter. "I can throw you in prison for it."
"I'd like to see you try," a pause, "and that wasn't a joke."
Later that night, Kakashi swiftly approaches Naruto's apartment building. He reclaims his usual perch on a tree nearby and observes the boy who appears to be dozing on the sofa of the living room.
He feels like he can breathe again now that he's seen for himself that Naruto's okay after the revelation earlier that morning.
Inside, Naruto's awake with his eyes closed. He's thinking about what he's learned and what he hasn't.
He's also angry.
Not extremely so but the emotions are definitely there. As is usual for whenever he's angry, the thrumming heat in his veins is back. He ignores it in favour of imagining the fourth's smiling visage and what it would've been like to be hugged by the man, to have his hair ruffled by this shinobi legend.
His skin itches and his eyes prickle. He gets up, rubs at them and stands. He can't sleep, the thought of losing consciousness is an appealing but impossible one at this moment. His mind is a mess of half-cooked images and bristling feelings he doesn't want to deal with.
So he goes on a walk.
He's done it before of course so the silent lanes and eerie alleyways don't scare him. He ventures into a nook a few blocks away and settles beside a trashcan. The acrid smell of stagnant garbage helps keep his mind off the burning in his chakra pathways.
For a moment, he thinks he sees a shadow moving outside the narrow street. When nothing looks or sounds amiss, he shrugs and chalks it up to a stray cat or dog. Or even a rat. He's seen them dart around a couple times somewhere here.
His head hits the dirty wall behind and he stares up at the stars. They twinkle in greeting and he waves at them, feeling decidedly silly.
"How are you doing today, Venus?" he asks to the one untwinkling illuminated dot in the sky. "I'm sure you must be lonely up there. I can't imagine what it must be like for you. Circling 'round and 'round the sun with the only company lightyears away."
He draws his knees closer, placing his elbows on them. His head goes on top, eyes still fixed on the night sky.
"I feel lonely, too," he mumbles like it's a confession. It definitely feels like one. "And I don't know why. I've got so many great friends and Iruka-sensei and Teuchi-san and Ayame and even my sealing books. They're great company, Venus, but sometimes, they feel out of my reach. You know what I mean? I can touch 'em, talk to 'em, but it's like they're far away."
He chuckles even as tears fall down his eyes. They're more of frustration than any upset he feels.
"Is it because I think they don't understand me? It feels like so. I couldn't even tell Sakura that I feel so... so bitter and spiteful that the old man never told me who my father was even though he knew! He knew, Venus! He knew. Is that bad of me? Am I being unfair to the old man?"
He lets his head fall down, hiding it between his arms and knees. "I don't know. I just don't know."
He breathes deeply. Once, twice, thrice... he continues the count till he can feel his heartbeats settle. Verbalising his thoughts has often helped him sort his emotions out. It helps tonight, too. He knows he's a lot more settled now and instead of a jumble, the most prominent of his feelings is at the forefront. It doesn't suprise him that it's anger. He's never been good at suppressing it.
The foreign but familiar chakra in his body hums and flows with vigour.
After some time, Naruto opens his eyes, blinking against the dim light and his first thought is my butt feels wet.
He looks around this sewer-like setting he's found himself in. How did he get here?
He stands up on shaky legs and notices the layer of the water below that appears recently flooded. He can't smell anything which is odd. Gutters stink. This place doesn't.
A low rumble sounds from the end of this passage, sending slow waves in the water.
Naruto takes a cautionary step forward, then another. Every instinct in his body tells him to stay put, to investigate, to find out how he's been displaced to this odd setting. But another voice, this one more persistent, compels him to follow that sound, to find whatever's calling him.
Halfway there, his chakra feels like it's twisting and writhing in delight, like it's being pulled forward so he breaks into a run. When he comes to a halt, he's in front of huge metal bars that conceal wisps of darkness inside. He can't see what's ahead but he can hear growls and a noise that's akin to nails scratching down a wall.
He holds his breath and speaks, "Hello?"
No response comes his way. He swallows then tries again. "Hello? Anyone out the–"
He stops short when his eyes travel upwards and they land on a rectangular paper the size of him, covering the lock of the massive jail. Atop the paper are symbols and lines that are identical to the ones Naruto has on his stomach. His frown is back and traces of uncertainty and fear pull his body taut with tension.
"Hello?" he calls out again as he approaches the bars. "If someone's in there, please respond."
He can admit he's not being very smart here. For all he knows, the prison's a legit one that holds a bunch of criminals or violent animals that need to be kept away. But this is far too bizarre a situation to do things logically.
So he throws caution to the wind (as he usually does) and pops his head between the gaps. Peering as far as he can, he makes out a silhouette in one corner. It looks enormous even from afar. The growls increase in volume and he takes a quick step back, retreating behind the safety of the fickle barrier.
While he's contemplating whether he should climb up and have a better look at the paper seal, something shifts inside, shuffles and the next instant, large red-slitted eyes enter Naruto's periphery. He leaps back, making contact with that encompassing fiery gaze. He can't look away. The weight of emotion in that crimson colour is something physical, something that pins Naruto down and keeps him steady.
The eyes move forward till he can make out the rough shape of a frankly gigantic fox-like creature. A swishing wind bounces off the walls and reaches him. Curiously, he doesn't feel any coldness, only a shiver that's more of a thought than anything real. Even more curious is the cause of the wind.
Locked eyes break away and Naruto's pair dart towards the creature's tails. Tails. Plural. All nine of them move lazily in the air as this wicked-seeming animal walks towards the jail's gate.
Fear comes first. Then panic. Naruto takes another couple steps backward before the rational part of his brain reminds him that the seal on the lock can't be broken from the inside. Something on his face must've still conveyed his panic though, for booming laughter comes from the majestic creature behind the prison.
"You're such a small, little, tiny thing, jailor." It? she? he? says with teeth pulled into a sharp smirk. "I am surprised you showed up already, that anger, oh that anger is so very potent. Makes me want to crush you till all you can–"
"I'm sorry, but," Naruto's voice wavers when the fox-rabbit-something hybrid narrows their eyes at his interruption. He gulps, "but who are you?"
"Someone you should be scared of," the creature tilts their head, considering Naruto. The blond has the distinctive feeling that he's being mocked.
"I am, actually," Naruto says, sheepish. "Scared, I mean. You are, well, the size of a building. You kinda look all evil, too."
The fox creature snorts but it's more out of derision than any real amusement. They set Naruto's teeth on edge. He didn't know anyone could produce sounds that sinister.
"I am nothing but evil, Naruto," the animal says, eyes laughing at the blond.
"How do you–eh, know my name?"
"Oh this is going to be fun," the fox muses openly, eyes momentarily looking up at the ceiling. Then, quick as an arrow, they're back to Naruto again, shining with the beginnings of madness. "Tell me, Naruto. Do you know what I am?"
Naruto eyes the creature warily before saying, "An overgrown rabbit fox? Maybe? I–sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of you! I don't know!"
The not-quite-hybrid-fox waves a paw at him which Naruto thinks means dismissal. They settle down comfortably, bringing their front legs forwards, a couple tails sailing slowly in the air.
"I'm a beast, Naruto. A chakra beast. You stupid little pests call me the nine-tailed fox, which isn't as flattering a title as my original one but you can refer to me as one of the two."
Naruto nods slowly but the urge to run far far away is back. An actual chakra beast is sitting some feet from him, completely capable of ending his existence without even trying. He's not stupid to ignore this colossal threat and from what he's gauged so far, the fox doesn't seem to like him very much. Despite knowing all of that, what possesses him to ask the next question, he'll never know.
"Are you a guy? Or a girl?"
"You humans and your customs and identities," the fox does that weird-snort sound again. "I am chakra. Wholly and entirely. I do not want to and will never wish to abide my mankind's idea of gender. But if it makes you feel comfortable, you can classify me as male, even though I'm not one."
Naruto's mouth forms an 'o' as he takes in this tidbit about chakra beasts. Something niggles in the back of his head and one sentence plays on loop in his mind.
I am chakra.
Suddenly, everything he's researched about the seal on his stomach comes rushing forth. Sentient Chakra and what it refers to. Seals that contain such sentience and how they differ according to the nature of the vessel. The resemblance between his stomach's seal and the one that covers the prison is unmistakable and with that, all pieces come together even if he tries to avoid it.
The lack of smells and odd winds that don't affect his skin. The mysterious way in which he woke up in this sewer. The thrumming that graced his insides whenever he was angry and how it felt so much like this fox's presence.
"I... I am your vessel," Naruto says in a horrified whisper. His knees give out and he lands in the water with a dull splash. "You're inside me right now. Am I inside myself, too? Is this my... what's the term? Headspace?"
"You are correct," the fox says, sly smile intact. "I am your very own prisoner. Sealed for years and years. So, how does it feel to steal someone's freedom, Naruto? How does it feel to be the cause of someone else's misery? Because me, right here? I am fucking miserable."
Naruto looks at the chakra beast with wide eyes. Guilt rises in his gut and he's already choking on it before he can confirm that what this creature says is true.
And it is true.
He knows how these seals work. That's all he's been reading up on since its discovery because even though he hadn't been sure what it did, that small inkling was enough to drive his curiosity in that direction.
So he knows that seals that capture tailed beasts do so viciously. Their function is never to ensure comfort of its captive but to make sure it never leaves its confine.
The barrier is rigidly placed and the beast inside cannot initiate conversation with its host unless the host himself approaches the beast. What's more is that the tailed beasts once under the seal's influence have their sentience linked with the vessel. Which means that if the human vessel dies, so do they (even though the chakra beasts never stay dead for long; it's still controlling their lives and playing god with creatures who have no business being controlled by others).
"I–I didn't know! I don't want to keep you here!" Naruto can feel his eyes burning but he can't bring himself to care. "What... what can I do to help? Is there something I can even do?"
"You're a smart boy, Naruto," the fox says, lips twisting into a perversion of a smile. It sends chills down the blond's spine. "Surely, you know there's only one thing I'd crave as a captive. Freedom. Let me free, Naruto. You know how to do it. I know you want to do it."
Naruto looks into the fox's eyes. He's been told he's a good judge of character even though he can be too trusting sometimes. His ability to connect with people is something he can appreciate about himself but faced with a chakra beast who's at least a thousand years old, Naruto is at a loss. He can't assess the beast. He can't tell whether those eyes reflect hurt or malice. He's not sure whether that smile's hiding pain or ill-intent.
He doesn't know what to do.
"What will you do once I free you?" Naruto asks and the smile that's directed at him widens.
"I will do whatever I want to."
"That's not an answer!" Naruto takes a step ahead. "Will you hurt someone? I know you killed many the night I was born. Isn't that why you're sealed in me? To prevent you from hurting more people?"
The fox growls audibly, face pushed forward. He snarls, eyes glinting with tangible danger. Naruto takes a step back again.
"Don't, for even a second, think that the history written in your textbooks is anything but a bunch of lies. Keep your insulting accusations to yourself, rugrat, because if I hear them again, I will rip your throat apart."
"Okay," Naruto replies, hands held up in placation. He doesn't release a breath till the beast's retreated into a relaxed posture again. "Sorry? Don't... don't rip my throat, please. I'll die and I kind of don't want that. So, uh, are you telling me you didn't kill people eleven years ago? My parents died that night, um, my father had apparently killed you but obviously, that's not the case. He sealed you, instead. Didn't he? In me."
"That little gutsy bastard could never kill me," the fox shifts, a clawed hand propping against the floor as his huge head comes to rest on his fist. "No one can kill me."
"Right. Good to know. So? You won't tell me what actually happened?"
For a moment, the fox remains silent.
His gaze seems to search for something. Naruto tries not to fidget and he more or less succeeds. Then, the beast's cutting smile is gone, replaced by a look that's hard, cut out of a rock.
"I will give you no answers," the fox declares at last. The tone tells Naruto that there's no point arguing. Then, "You don't deserve any. To selfishly pursue explanations to sate your own curiosity while I rot in here? Why, you're such a loathsome child."
"Why are you so judgemental?" Naruto dares to ask, offended by those words. "You were the one who said you didn't kill those people. And when I ask you for your version of events, you refuse to tell me. How am I supposed to trust you then? To free you?"
"Such arrogance," the tailed beast huffs a laugh. It's a grating sound, like the faint scraping of metal on metal. "To think that I should earn your trust. What makes you assume that I trust you enough to share my side of the story? Or do you think I should buy into your earnest, good-hearted child act and be impressed by it?"
"What? No!" Naruto groans, one hand rubbing at his temples. This creature is absolutely impossible. "Why do you keep assuming the worst of me? I haven't even done anything yet! Just give me a bloody chance to–"
"Alright," the fox says, surprising him. Naruto falls silent immediately. The grin's back on the kyubi's face again as he continues, "I will tell you one thing. The name of the man of who killed your parents that night. It wasn't me, you see. It was an Uchiha who murdered Minato Namikaze and his wife. You want to know who?"
Throat in his stomach, Naruto nods. Apprehension coils in him as the kyubi's mouth forms the two words.
"Obito Uchiha."
A white-hot feeling explodes inside him and belatedly he recognizes it as fury. Doubt and suspicion intermingle in his head, his own eyes failing to catch sincerity or deceit from the beast. He can't read the kyubi. He can't tell if it's true or not.
Then something's on his arm, warm and soothing and he's being jostled. He awakes to find himself pressed onto the street he was previously seated on and Kakashi-sensei's concern-marred features looking down on him.
"Sensei?"
"Naruto? Yes, it's me. Are you alright? I... I was passing by and I saw you collapsed here."
What Kakashi doesn't say is that while observing Naruto, the boy had suddenly started glowing red a few minutes after he'd assumed the blond was taking a nap. The kyubi's chakra was easy to sense and he'd immediately hopped off from the brick wall to wake Naruto up.
"Ah, yes, I'm fine. Just, my head's spinning a bit. Can you help me stand up?"
"Sure," Kakashi shoves one arm down Naruto's armpit, steadying him. "What happened?"
Naruto looks away, throat bobbing. "I fell asleep, I guess? Should not have done that."
Kakashi doubts that that's it but he can't just spring up the fact that Naruto was leaking kyubi chakra in his sleep and demand an explanation. If the boy's saying the truth, he'll be revealing secrets that were never ousted in the first place.
So he smiles at Naruto, "Yes. If you want to have a nap, I'm sure there are better places than dirty alleyways to use as beds. Come then, I'll drop you home. Don't want you snoozing near a lamppost or something."
Naruto gives him a weak smile, face tight with tension. He doesn't call the blond out on it. For all he knows, the boy might've seen a nightmare bad enough to call on the kyubi's chakra subconsciously. It had happened to Kushina-san once so it's not an impossibility.
"Thank you, sensei," Naruto tells him once they're at his door.
Kakashi nods and watches till his student's safely inside before turning on his heel and going home himself. All the way there his senses scream at him that something's wrong but it's not like he isn't aware of that fact already. He just doesn't know what he can or should do about it.
Author's Note: I feel like this one will disappoint some people who wanted a specific sort of dynamic between between Kurama and Naruto. I didn't wanna do that so we've got a web that will slowly be entangled and maybe the end product will be something positive. I ask y'all to trust my vision for it. I mostly know what I'm doing. Like 3/4 of it. Kinda.
Anyway, I hope it was enjoyable to read! All thoughts are welcome! :D
Have a great day ahead.