Author's Note:
First off, sorry for the long wait with updates! I don't really remember why I stopped putting up chapters here but I've got 20k words of pending content to post so don't be alarmed if you get 4 update notifications today.
Anyway, hope you enjoy this chap and what's to come!
P.S: if you wanna be homophobic, please throw a tantrum elsewhere and not in my comments section, thank you. :))
"Can you hear me?"
Naruto blinks at the woman, "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"You haven't been all that lucid this past week, dearie."
"Uh," Naruto utters, trying to sit up on the bed. He succeeds for the most part. A searing pain radiates throughout his body, originating from his chakra core towards the tips of his pathways and nerves. He holds back a wince, "Who are you?"
"I'm Koru, your healer," the woman says, smiling warmly. "You can thank me for keeping you alive anytime now."
"Oh. Um. Thanks?" Naruto looks around. He can't quite remember what happened but he's definitely inside a hospital room so it can't be anything good. He vaguely recalls some details. Sai. The blood. The seal.
Him trying to form a counter.
Sakura, Shikamaru.
Something something kyubi.
Oooh. Oh right.
He'd used the kyubi's chakra and in the process possibly saved Sai's life.
"Um Koru-san, is Sai okay?"
"He's fine," Koru says almost dismissively as if his wellbeing wasn't the sole reason why Naruto had almost sacrificed himself. "It's yourself you should be worrying about. In my ten years of being a healer, I haven't seen such extensive damage to someone's chakra channels. Whathorrificinternal burning! You've kept me working nonstop for three days, young man. Three days!"
Naruto scratches the back of his neck, trying but failing to keep his smile of relief from surfacing. It doesn't matter that this lady is pissed at him or that she had to work tirelessly to heal him.
Because Sai is okay. He's alive.
"Yeah. Sorry about that," Naruto says but he's smiling too wide for his apology to be sincere. "Can I see Sai?"
Koru huffs, folding her arms and giving him a scrutiny-filled look. "He's been discharged for three days now but the lad comes by every afternoon to check on you. I'll let him through when he's here today. Now rest up. You're still too weak to be out and about."
Naruto nods, "Thanks."
He rests his head on the surprisingly soft pillow and falls asleep with the assurance that everything is fine and that his friend is safe and sound.
"Naruto!!!!"
"Get off me Sakura! I'minjured!" Naruto pushes his friend off of him, grimacing at the onslaught of pricking pain in his abdomen. It's dull now, more tolerable than he remembers it being when he'd first woken up.
"Oh stop being such an old man," Sakura rolls her eyes as she drags a chair from the side before sitting on it with her feet put up on Naruto's bed. She stares at him for a full minute, ignoring Naruto's increasing discomfort. "You're okay?"
"Yes, Sakura," Naruto replies with exasperation. "Stop being such a worrier. What about you? Are you okay?"
"What would I not be? Last time I checked, Iwasn'tthe one depletingallof my chakra reserves to play the martyr."
It's then that it strikes Naruto. Sakura and the rest had no idea that he was negotiating with the kyubi to save his own life. For them– he must've appeared on the verge of death. Not that he wasn't. The internal burning wasn't a reassurance of his good health either.
"About that... " Naruto shifts on his bed uncomfortably, words eluding him now that he has to discuss his own mortality with Sakura. Despite being a shinobi-in-training, he'd never been made aware of death and its very real possibility before that day with Sai bleeding on his couch and his insides turning icy due to a severe lack of chakra. "Listen, I wasn't gonna... I would not sacrifice myself, y'know? That wasn't what I was doing."
"Yes, I know," Sakura says quietly, fidgeting with her hands. What she's nervous about, Naruto doesn't know but he guesses she'll tell him soon enough.
"You used that chakra... theredchakra," Sakura glances at Naruto but doesn't meet his eyes. Instead she remains focused on his forehead, intensely so. "I could sense that it was imbued with anger and rage and... I almost collapsed under its effect. I mean, Naruto, that chakra was... " she shudders slightly, scooting her chair closer towards him. "It was reeking of malicious intent and all foul things in general. And the others, they could feel it all as well, even though they weren't as hypersensitive to its nature as I was."
Naruto waits. He doesn't know what to say. On one hand, it's the perfect opportunity for him to come clean, to share his secret with Sakura and be free of it. On the other hand – a part of him, the scared, insecure part festering from wounds half-healed of a less than favourable childhood don't make it easy on him to reveal things about himself that might bring any level of disdain – or worse,fear– from Sakura.
But before he can make a decision, Sakura places a hand on his, a wobbly yet sincere smile on her face.
"Don't worry. I know about the kyubi already." Seeing Naruto's stunned look, she continues, "The Hokage – well, after that whole disaster, he came to visit you a couple times. We gave him our accounts of the events and then he called us all for this meeting two days back. Kakashi sensei and Iruka sensei were with us. They think you aren't aware of the kyubi's sealing. They think you... instinctually harnessed its power–"
"His," Naruto says shakily. "He's fine with us considering him a male."
After one weird look, Sakura nods, "Okay.Hispower. You did it purposely, right? There's no way you didn't know about the kyubi. What you told me – it confirmed it. You had a plan – and I sayplanin the loosest sense of the word. Please tell me I'm right and I just did not oust a very important secret about you without easing you into it at all."
Naruto cracks a smile for her sake, patting her hand soothingly. "Yeah. You're right, as usual. I knew about the kyubi and I had to have a chat with him to utilise his chakra."
"Have a chat with thekyubi no kitsune?" Sakura says blankly. "Are youinsane?"
"Surprisingly– no. I'm not. Anyway, can we backtrack to the Hokage telling you about sealing the kyubi in me? What did he say exactly?"
"Well, Naruto, why don't you hear it from my mouth itself?"
Both of them turn towards the entrance where the Hokage stands at ease, dressed in his traditional garbs. Sai's with him, peeking at the two from behind the flowy white robes of the leader of their village.
"Oh, hi Lord Hokage," Naruto fumbles through his greeting. It still feels awkward to call the man 'Lord'. They used to be so much more familiar with each other years ago. That's not the case anymore though.
"Hello, Naruto," Hiruzen walks inside and drags a chair to take a seat on just a few steps from the blond's bed. Sai hovers around, unsure of himself. He's always seemed confident to Naruto, even when he was the new kid in class. So seeing him so subdued feels... wrong, somehow.
"How are you feeling?"
"Thirsty," Naruto says after a moment of thought. Sakura hands him a glass of water and he gulps it all down, asking for a second fill. Sakura obliges and once his thirst is more or less sated he turns back to the Hokage who's face is funny mixture of regret and confusion and amusement.
"Hi, Sai," Naruto waves at him. It's a little too late for small talk, he realises but Sai smiles at him. It doesn't look as fake it used to.
"Hi."
Hiruzen looks between the two before clearing his throat. "I'll let you two boys talk once I'm done explaining a few things. Sai, why don't you take a seat as well? You can help clearing things up for Naruto along with me."
Sai simply sits down at the foot of Naruto's bed, his body angled to look at him and Sakura.
"Now as Sakura told you, I've shared of the kyubi's sealing with those who were present at your home that day. Pardon me for eavesdropping but I had to know what you knew."
Naruto's face hardens and he catches Sakura frowning at the Hokage. She wasn't aware of their presence by the door either then.
"You could've asked me," Naruto says stiffly, "instead of, you know, invading my privacy."
"Would you have been honest had I asked you?"
"... Maybe," Naruto shrugs. "Don't do it next time."
Hiruzen shakes his head and its almost a fond gesture. "Noted. To get back to the topic at hand – you're a jinchuuriki. That's the term we use for humans with chakra beasts sealed inside them. Though they were initially symbols of peace and equality amongst the villages, they represent something much worse these days. You, Naruto, are considered Konoha's first line of defence if we were ever to go to war. Our greatest... " his face turns sad, incredibly so, as he says the next word, "... weapon."
"Okay," Naruto squeezes Sakura's hand that's on his thigh now. "That's good to know. I guess. My father–Minato Namikaze–he sealed kyubi in me, right?"
"Correct. But, he didn't seem to have another choice that night, Naruto. Trust me. He would've never wanted you to bear this burden if he had any other way to prevent it."
Naruto isn't sure how much he believes that. He can think about it later though.
"And this sealing. What does it mean for me? I used the kyubi's chakra... but it damaged my insides. Why?"
"As far I know, it's because the chakra you received didn't have a chance to undergo the purification process administered by the seal. You were in a desperate situation and didn't have the time that would take to cleanse the kyubi's essence," Hiruzen stops and looks out the window as if pondering topics far beyond the intelligence of a few eleven year olds. "I'm not that adept at seals, I'm afraid. Not anymore than yourself, in fact. That's why I've sent for someone who could help you. Provide answers to your questions and guide you to control the kyubi's power."
"Who's that?" Sakura asks.
"Control?"Naruto echoes. That word doesn't sit right with him. "I don't think I can ever control the kyubi's power. I don't think it's right for me to."
"Why not?" Sai asks, genuine curiosity radiating from his expression.
"Well, the power isn't mine to begin with. It's the kyubi's. I don't want to take authority of something that's his."
The Hokage purses his lips but he stays silent. So do the other two. What exactly is going through their minds is a mystery to Naruto and it makes him self-conscious about himself and the words he's spoken.
"Er... " Naruto breaks the silence. "Who's coming to teach me? I wanna know too."
At that, Hiruzen's face morphs into a warm smile, eyes crinkling. "That, my boy, is a surprise."
Naruto huffs, "That isn't any good."
"It will be worth it, I assure you." Hiruzen says and the funny thing is, somewhere, deep down, Narutodoesfeel assured. He can't grasp why.
"You said you spoke to the kyubi," Hiruzen tries to sound relaxed but the wariness is clear as day in his posture. "What did you two talk about?"
Naruto exchanges a look with Sakura and she nods at him – to be honest, Naruto supposes. But will it be wise to tell the Hokage that the kyubi had blamed their newest Uchiha member of mass murder or that the kyubi had willingly given his own chakra to save Sai, quite happily he might add?
"I... I don't trust you enough to tell you about it."
There. That should honest enough for Sakura.
Hiruzen's eyes narrow slightly but he doesn't look haughty or offended. Naruto expects him to play 'I'm the Hokage' card and get information out of him anyway. But this whole conversation hasn't been up to his expectations. The Hokage seems more understanding than he'd ever been. Naruto wonders what caused that change.
Abruptly, Hiruzen stands up, clasping his hands in front of his stomach. He just looks at Naruto before giving a crisp nod.
"Fair enough," he smiles. It's another one of those sad ones. "I'll endeavour to earn your trust then."
He walks out the door with quick yet quiet steps. Inside, they're all too stunned to react in any coherent way.
Earn your trust.
Hadn't this been exactly the problem between Naruto and the kyubi?
They're both strong-headed, so much so that even the idea of accepting this fact is too much for their collective egos. But Naruto's a tad more reasonable than a centuries old beast full of rage and hatred for men– so maybe he's the one who needs to initiate this whole building-trust thing between him and the kyubi.
If the Hokage of Konoha could step back and attempt to earn Naruto's trust, why couldn't he do the same for someone else?
He wants answers from the kyubi and he's sure the kyubi wants something from him, too, aside from his freedom, that is. With that in mind, Naruto promises to approach the kyubi differently next time around.
For the moment, he extracts himself from the blanket still wrapped around his legs and stands up from the bed.
"So... you up for a walk, Sai?"
The park adjacent to the hospital is a breath of fresh air, both literally and figuratively. Naruto and Sai stick to the perimeter, out of range of playing children and lovesick teenagers. A few civilians jog past them, drenched in sweat and huffing all the way. The weather's not too kind for the exercising enthusiasts today.
Naruto side-eyes Sai multiple times as they complete their first round. For his part, Sai looks anywhere but towards Naruto, seemingly lost in deep thought. Naruto wants to say something but as the trend is unraveling itself, he doesn't know the right words.
He wishes for Sakura to be with them, to moderate this conversation which shouldn't loom as heavy as it is right now. Unfortunately, the pinkhead had only provided him with a meaningful look and a small hug before making some errand excuse and leaving.
Sai mumbles something. Naruto stops walking.
"What'd you say?"
"I said – nice sandals," Sai nods at the hospital-issued standard flats. They're rather boring to look at.
"Oh. Okay. Er... I mean, thank you?"
"No," Sai says.
Naruto snorts for some reason. At least Sai is as weird as ever. He resumes walking and joins Sai.
"No forwhat?"
"Don't thank me," Sai replies, "I should be the one thanking you."
"... for saving your life and all?"
"Yes," Sai's response sounds sincere. "That was... nice of you."
"Don't mention it," Naruto waves a hand. "Be rest assured that I didn't save you from the goodness of my heart. I had very selfish reasons."
"I want to."
Naruto frowns at him, "You want to what?"
"I want to mention it," Sai says flatly. "You saving me deserves many mentions."
Naruto chuckles, "Oh Sai. Did that incident damage your brain or something? You're being all nice all of a sudden."
Sai looks away, "Am I? I didn't realise."
Sensing there's something more at play here, Naruto nudges him, "Hey, what's the matter?"
Sai clears his throat and meets Naruto's warm blue eyes. He smiles. Worry flares in Naruto's gut – the smile is that strained and practiced stretch of his lips, not the genuine one he'd already gotten too used to seeing in just a few hours.
"Nothing. I'm happy," Sai says. He doesn't look it.
"You're lying," Naruto sighs, turning his gaze upward. A murder of crows flies past in the distance. Odd.
"How did you know?" Sai asks, sounding bewildered.
"You're easier to read than you think," Naruto shakes his head. "But it's fine. You don't owe me honesty... but I'd appreciate it if you told me what was on your mind. I might be able to help."
Sai hums, and goes silent for a while. Naruto figures he's thinking deep and hard about it. That's fine. They've got all the time in the world. Okay, so they've got ten more minutes before the healer sends a horde of chunin to fetch them but whatever. Time is relative.
"Okay," Sai stops and pulls Naruto to a bench. "I'll tell you."
The blond smiles encouragingly as Sai continues, "You, somehow, countered my restraining seal," he opens his mouth and pulls out his tongue for demonstration. "See? Nothing's on there anymore. I'm not bound to Danzo and I can speak and think what I want. I told the Hokage and the Intel Head everything I knew about that... " Sai's tongue curls as if the sensation of saying these words is foreign to him, "...bastard. Everything. All the hidden spaces in the underground base, the missions he sent us on, the plans he told us about, his most loyal subjects he took along with himself."
"That's a good thing right?" Naruto smiles uncertainly. "You're... free."
"Free." It hurts Naruto to hear his friend say that word so reverently as if freedom is a concept he'd only imagined in his wildest dreams.
Sai snaps out of his short daze and shakes his head, "No. Not a good thing. BecauseonlyI am... free. The others? They've still got the seal, Naruto. The Hokage said he'd take care of them but will he really? If he had some way to remove our seals, he would've done it already."
"I dunno," Naruto mutters, "The old man might be a bit cold sometimes but he... cares. I think. Maybe he really has a way? But," he takes a breath, "I can, maybe, take off the others' seals too. I mean, I'd need some time. I don't wanna end up hurting the rest. What I did for you was under a crisis situation and let me tell you, it wasincredibly, incredibly risky. For you and for me."
Sai nods seriously. He's always known the importance of recognizing danger.
"I just want them to experience this. How it feels. How it tastes."
"How ittastes?" Naruto repeats blankly.
"Yeah. Like a soil-sandwich."
"Weirdo," Naruto gets to his feet, muffling a laugh. Sai follows suit.
"Hey. You said something about selfish reasons for saving me. What are they?"
Naruto throws his arm around Sai's shoulder. They're both roughly the same height so thankfully the gesture isn't too bothersome.
"For one, I wanted you to stop bleeding on my precious couch," he grins, "and two: I did not want to lose a cherished friend of mine."
Two minutes later, Sai steps on Naruto's foot and doesn't apologise at all.
"I read in the book that that's what friends do. 'Never say sorry or thank you'."
Naruto punches his side in revenge.
By the time they're back the hospital, they're smiling widely, out of breath and utterly content.
Author's Note:
thank you for reading everyone!! :))