Lydia blinked, "Tomorrow?" she said

Lucy shifted uncomfortably, "Yes, it's a hard days ride from here so they really need to leave at first light. We aim to catch the Calormen army before they get wind of Glendan's reinforcement."

She paused, "Ed did tell you wed be attacking didn't he?"

Lydia nodded, "Of course he did and I'm fine with it, it's what I voted for after all." Even to her ears her voice sounded unusually high and foreign. She looked around and repeated "I'm fine with it."

"Good" Peter said briskly, "It's a quick in and out job, we surprise the Calormens while they're still camped in that valley, overwhelm their entire forces, make peace and then hope Rabadash hasn't got any other armies hidden away somewhere."

The others made various noises of agreement.

"Sounds like a good plan." Glendan said with only a slight tremor in his voice.

Peter ran a hand through his hair, "It's our only plan."

"We're relying on Lydia and Edmund being right."

"Well it's a good thing that we are then." Edmund cut in smoothly casting a sidelong glance at Lydia.

Lydia recovered long enough to say, "Of course we're right, I saw it myself."

She could see Peter's mouth moving but wasn't able to make out the words over the roaring in her ears.

It was strange, she'd become so much more open minded after coming to Narnia and yet now, on the brink of a battle she wasn't even taking part in, she felt empty. Like her mind had become so confused she couldn't even work out how she felt anymore.

Peter and Glendan were arguing over battle formations and as she watched the argument, she became more aware of Edmund watching her. She plastered a smile on her face and tried to ignore the beginnings of a headache. She wanted fresh air and a chance to clear her head, not a stuffy room full of maps.

The planning continued well into the afternoon. Despite being part of the same country, it appeared that Redhaven and Cair Pavarel had very different ideas on strategy and Lydia had long since stopped pretending she knew what was happening.

As Susan and Glendan squabbled, Edmund made his way over to where Lydia sat.

"You okay?" he asked and she smiled at him wanly, budging up to make room.

"I think Glendan's right from what I've heard." She replied, "His strategy seems less risky than Peter and Susan's head on approach."

"Hmm they both have merits." Edmund weighed up the options before shaking his head, "You should tell them what you think though."

Lydia let out a low laugh, "And why should they listen to me, I haven't exactly got anything to contribute."

"You know that's not true."

She didn't reply and started when Edmund gently laid a hand on her knee.

"Lydia you're trembling." He said and she turned to look at him "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." She whispered. "I guess it doesn't feel real, watching people your own age send troops into battle."

Edmund looked over to where Susan and Glendan were still arguing and sighed.

"It's got to be done." He said bluntly but his face softened when he noticed Lydia's frown.

He squeezed her gently,

"We'll all be fine." He said, "You'll see."

#

That night Lydia dreamt of blood.

She could see rows upon rows of soldiers marching up a hill and she was riding after them on Celer, gaining speed, cutting a path through the ranks. She could see Edmund at the top of the hill and she spurred Celer on faster but she didn't seem to be getting any closer and she was calling his name out. And finally he turned round to look at her but he was crying and saying something Lydia couldn't hear.

Then the scene shifted and suddenly she was at the top of the hill looking down at a wasteland. Bodies were piled high on fields of mud and she was desperately scanning their distorted faces, looking for the Pevensies; she tried calling out but their names turned to ashes in her mouth and she coughed and spluttered as a wave of dark smoke washed over her, blinding her…

Lydia jerked awake.

Her eyes shot open and she took a moment to regain her breath.

She was no stranger to nightmares so she steadily counted to ten, focusing on a spot on the ceiling until she felt herself begin to calm down. When her head began to clear she looked over to the window and saw a hint of sunlight peeking through.

In a few hours, they would all be saddling up to ride into Archenland, there was no use attempting sleep now.

Her thoughts strayed to Ed. He'd been very withdrawn last night and though he'd walked her back to her room, neither of them had said a word, at the time Lydia hadn't felt that there'd been anything to say.

She slowly got out of bed and padded across the room to get her slippers. It looked to be a crisp morning, the beginnings of autumn were just starting to reach Narnia, it was now much colder than the high summer she'd arrived in.

She retrieved her slippers and then walked briskly down the corridor and up the stairs into the royal chambers, feeling that ever growing morning chill that lingered in the castle.

She'd been to Susan and Lucy's rooms countless times but had never gone inside the two brother's chambers so when she reached the heavy oak door, she paused before knocking.

There were a few moments silence and then the door creaked open.

"Hello?" Edmund's voice sounded sleepy and Lydia realised for the first time that there was a good chance that Edmund had actually been asleep before she knocked.

"It's me" she whispered and the door opened fully.

If Edmund's hair was anything to go by with tufts of black hair sticking up at the back, Lydia had indeed just woken him up.

"I'm sorry, I can just go, I thought you'd be awake." She said making to leave but he waved his hand dismissively.

"No it's fine, I'm awake now. What is it?"

Lydia paused. In her hasty plan, she hadn't got this far.

"I just wanted to talk to you, you know, before you have to go."

Edmund's eyebrows shot up in surprise and his face lit up.

"You better come in then."

His room, unlike her own, felt much more homely. He had several shelves stacked with books and a collection of swords stood in the corner all of them in perfect condition. His desk was stacked full of papers in messy handwriting and littered with broken quills.

Edmund shut the door behind her, "Sorry about the mess, I've been a bit busy."

"No its fine." There was a pause as Edmund looked at her expectantly.

"So," he started to speak but Lydia cut him off.

"Look Ed, I can't stop thinking about you rushing off to battle not knowing how I feel about us. I know you feel that you have to do this and I'm trying to come to terms with that but I'm scared of how much time I've wasted, keeping you at a distance."

The words came out rushed and impatient and Lydia felt goosebumps break out up her arms as she continued.

"I know you've put much so effort into us and you've waited and waited and all I've done is push you away."

She let out a humourless laugh, "I mean even now, you were surprised when I came to you rather than the other way round. No let me finish," she held a hand up when Edmund opened his mouth to disagree.

"I haven't been fair to you, I thought I couldn't have both you and the option of going home but these past few days have made me realise that I don't need both. I want to stay here with you. How could I ever agree to forgetting these past few weeks?"

She walked over to him and took his hands, felt his sharp intake of breath. "I know we've already done this once." She whispered. "But I want to be with you, Ed, properly this time. I want to commit to this."

She brought her hand up to trace the outline of his jaw and started when she felt Edmund's arms pull her closer to him.

"So if I kiss you, you're not going to run away?"

Lydia smiled, "I should be able to restrain myself."

"No shutting yourself away? No regrets?"

Lydia shook her head.

Edmund's eyes moved to her lips.

"Good."

Edmund's lips were hot and heavy against her own, there was a sense of desperation for them both, as if this might be the last time they would be like this.

Lydia bit her lip as Edmund trailed kisses down her neck

"Promise me you'll stay inside." he muttered, his kisses becoming more insistent on her neck "I want you to stay safe."

She stiffened at that and he lifted his head to look at her properly.

"I know I'm not a good fighter Ed but I can look after myself."

Edmund leant his forehead against hers, "I know but the idea of you getting hurt scares me more than I ever thought it would."

She sighed, "It's the same for me too, I can't believe it took me this long to realise."

They stood embraced for a moment and then the sound of a morning bird made them look up.

"Not long now" Edmund said with a slight nervous laugh.

Lydia pulled away, "How are you feeling then?

Edmund swallowed and looked away, "It's got to be done."

"Yes you keep saying that." She said, "But that doesn't tell me how you're coping with it all."

"How I always cope, I'm good at what I do and I focus on that." His voice sounded harsh and Lydia pulled him back into a hug.

"Maybe you could train me when you get back." She said, "Meliae's good but she doesn't explain things, just attacks and leaves me to get on with it."

"I'd like that" he murmured against her ear and Lydia closed her eyes wishing that she'd done this sooner, that she hadn't wasted so much time being cautious.

She was about to say this when the bird screeched again from outside Edmund's window, causing them to both turn round.

"I think I better be getting ready, I've got some last minute preparations to make." Edmund walked over to his wardrobe and started rifling through it.

Lydia nodded, "Yes of course I'll see you downstairs."

They exchanged glances and then Lydia coughed, "Right I'll be going then."

She turned away and made her way back to her room to get dressed as though she was in a daze. She'd felt lighter when her and Edmund had finally discussed things last time but this felt like walking on air.

She even managed a smile at Susan, Peter and Glendan when she went down to breakfast, who both wore grim expressions.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked them both but they shook their heads.

"No I don't think so." Susan said politely causing the familiar wave of insignificance to wash over Lydia again.

This time, however, she chose to ignore it, and when Edmund and Lucy arrived shortly after and the five of them all began talking at once, she made an effort to keep up with the conversation as best she could.

The grateful smile Edmund shot her was reason enough to be involved.

She didn't need a reason to stay, she'd make her own.

After breakfast, however, everything seemed to move very quickly and one minute Lydia was leading horses out to nervous soldiers the next she was stood with Lucy watching the others mount their horses.

"Do you wish you were going with them?" She asked Lucy who was bouncing from one foot to another.

Lucy frowned "A little but there's work here to be done."

Lydia smiled, "You sound like Ed. Have you Pevensies got some sort of motto?"

Lucy looked at her confused, "I think Edmund's waiting for you actually, look he's obviously stalling."

Edmund was indeed tightening and re-tightening his stirrups much to the exasperation of Peter who was glaring at him.

"These things take time Pete." He said catching his brother's eye.

Lydia made her way over to him. "Holding everyone up as usual I see." She said jokingly causing Peter to huff and turn away.

"You can't be too careful with these things." Edmund smiled but Lydia noticed a slight tremble in his hand. She stepped forward and finished tightening the stirrup for him.

"So I suppose I'll see you when I get back." She said as she worked.

"Yes"

She finished up the stirrup and turned to look at Ed. There was nothing she could say so she pulled him in for one final kiss, inwardly cursing herself again for not doing this sooner.

She focused on memorising the way his arms felt around her until all too soon she broke away.

"You better be going." She said and he nodded and mounted his horse. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again and simply nodded.

"I'll see you soon."

Lydia waved and then watched as he rode his horse through the rows upon rows of soldiers to where the others were waiting.

She felt Lucy's hand on her arm.

"There's no point watching them leave. We have to be patient now."

#

The waiting was by far the worst part.

Lydia kept herself busy helping Lucy count and organise endless medical supplies that had been from all across Narnia. There were newly arrived nurses and doctors to organise, wards to be set up and food to be stocked up.

Lydia suddenly found herself to be the face of Cair Pavarel, answering only to Lucy. She smiled and answered question and gave directions for hours on end, following Lucy's lead in creating the impression that Narnia's full army had gone on a mere expedition and of course they would all return safe and sound.

Several times throughout the day she wondered if Lucy took this stance to reassure the people or to convince herself that her siblings would return.

The phrases 'they've been through worse' and 'it has to be done' were thrown around constantly but by night fall the castle had become subdued, with everyone waiting.

Lydia herself had gone to her room, hoping she would fall asleep to wake up to the sound of Peter and Edmund bickering and in her sleep their voices drifted through her mind, various breakfast meetings playing on an endless loop.

But then a voice cut through.

"Lydia"

Everything faded to black and Lydia could see nothing in the darkness, she knew it wasn't a dream. It was Aslan.

"Lydia." Aslan's voice spoke again. "You must warn Peter and the others, they've been led into a trap. Your scout party was spotted and the Calormens have split their forces. I cannot save them this time. Hurry."

She jerked awake and lay there in the darkness for a moment. She wanted to ask for more details, for more advice on the Calormens and on her own personal battle.

But the room was silent.

There was a knock on the door, which made Lydia almost leap out of bed.

Lucy's soft voice spoke from the other side, "Lydia are you still awake? I've brought you some hot milk."

Lydia flung the door open, "Lucy, Aslan came to me!" She said breathlessly. "We have to check all the other places the Calormens could attack. It's a trap."

Lucy stood dumbfounded and Lydia grabbed the two cups from her and put them on the nearest table.

"What are you talking about?"

"What was that place Peter mentioned? Glasswater Bay was it? We need to send scouts there now." Lydia began furiously buttoning up one of her riding dresses over her nightwear.

"Lydia, I don't understand."

"Aslan!" Lydia stopped pulling on her boots to look at Lucy in exasperation - why wasn't she understanding this?

"I was dreaming and then Aslan spoke to me, like before only I was already asleep. It's a trap, we have to act now!"

Lucy paled, "Well you stay here and I'll go, I've more experience."

"No that doesn't matter!" Lydia said. "It has to be me, I can feel it." Her voice had risen and she could tell from Lucy's expression she had shocked her.

"Look, I have to go, protect the castle quickly!"

She brushed past Lucy before the other girl could reply and quickly strode down the hall. As if by fate, Celer was already saddled for her at the stables.

"I felt like I would be needed." The horse said in greeting, "I asked Boreas to tack me up."

Lydia nodded, "We've got to warn the Narnians, if it's not too late already."

Celer nodded, "Well we best be quick then."

Lydia had barely got her hands on the reins before the brown mare shot off into the darkness.

As they rode, the gravity of the situation began to dawn on Lydia. She was riding into battle defenceless.

Even with Celer's speed, they would be lucky to make the border before dawn and by then the Narnians would surely have attacked not knowing that Rabadash had sent half his forces to attack Narnia from a different point. They would win the battle but lose the kingdom.

The miles dragged by and Lydia could her heart pounding, what if she was too late?

Eventually, however, she felt Celer begin to flag and pulled her down to a trot. The valleys of Archenland slowly came into view with the sun just peeking over them and she could have sworn she could hear the ringing of metal.

As Lydia had predicted, the battle had already begun and whilst a few had begun to suspect that the Calormen force was much smaller than expected, it was far too late to do anything by then.

By the time Lydia reached the battlefield, the smell of blood and dirt was already in the air.

The once green valley had been torn up by hooves and Celer fretted as she struggled to navigate through patches of blood and fallen bodies.

More than once Lydia retched at the sight of a missing limb from a fallen body, the smell burning her nostrils. She couldn't call out to a Pevensie, they would never hear over the din, she could only stand at the top of the hill, looking down at the carnage, desperately scanning the faces of the Narnians in red.

At last she spotted Susan towards the left with the other archers and she spurred Celer forward, through the swarms of men and Beasts, red clashing against orange.

About twenty metres away, she tried calling Susan's name but the older girl was shouting instructions and did not hear. Lydia could hear arrows whizzing around and Celer tossed her head but they had no choice.

"Susan!" she screamed and finally, finally she looked up.

"Lydia?"

"We have to go! It's a trap, get everyone out!"

Susan looked at her then whipped round to send an arrow flying into the shoulder of a would be attacker. She turned back round.

"How do you know?"

"Aslan." Lydia panted and watched as Susan's eyes widened. She reached into her belt to pull out a horn which echoed across the battlefield causing many Narnians to look up.

"Fall back! Fall back"

Whether the Narnians heard Susan's cry or not, they seemed to move as one, slinking back into the forest much to the cheers of the Calormen, a few of the more seasoned fighters staying back to stop any pursuers.

"Susan! What are you doing?" Even from a distance Peter's bellow could still be heard and Lydia felt Celer quiver underneath her.

Peter and Glendan jogged over, both covered in grime and blood, Glendan was nursing a nasty gash on his left leg.

"It was me." Lydia said before Susan had a chance to speak. "This is a trap, Rabadash is sending half his troops to attack from somewhere else."

Glendan nodded. "Minute I saw the army I knew deep down, there were some missing."

"How do you know?" Peter's voice was harsh and ragged

"Aslan told me, while I was asleep."

"Aslan?"

Lydia turned round to see Edmund running over behind her. Like the others he was covered in blood and dirt but seemed unhurt. She felt a knot tighten in her stomach and she dismounted and rushed over to hug him.

He smelt of smoke and metal.

"It's not safe here." He clung to her and she tightened her arms around him.

"I had to do something. I had to come and I did, I rode as quickly as possible and I'm still too late."

Her breaths started to come out in hiccups and she looked away, eyes and nostrils burning.

Edmund looked up to where the others were stood

"What's happening?"

"Isn't it obvious?" It was Glendan who spoke. "Narnia is lost."