Cursed Sword

by Kneenaw

Irisviel could not accept her own end, even corrupted she wishes to return to save her beloved. And so, as Shirou sits waiting to die, he is reborn as the host of a dark miracle, creating cascading effects that would alter the world. This fic spans from the end of the 4th HGW to the 5th. Currently it is starting the direct lead up to the 5th war.

7. Act One, Interlude One: Sisters

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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.

Act One, Interlude One: Sisters.

---

Trespassing 2 (Music) /nXnRjzVzB4c

You take away a child's family, house, and friends: what is left to signify their life? The girl in the mirror must be such a case.

In the mirror was a strange pair, an out-of-place blonde foreigner with a long light blue dress and a red-haired girl with a poor face, sad and pitiful, wearing something akin to rags. 'At least I'm not as bad as she is.' No matter what happened to me, I hoped never to fall that low. Who are you? Who could make such a face? "Hahaha..." I mean, come on, how could I not giggle at this girl? Stupid, foolish, trash. I'm better than you, at least. We passed the pair and turned down another hall, the long stretch to the red exit sign.

Deftly passing through the crowd of assorted people, I was softly pulled out into the red town. The sunshine didn't make it any warmer. It was only when we were finally out in the cold air outside that I began to understand. "Oh... It was me." It wasn't exactly a mystery; who else had the same face? The same hair? Who else would be so pathetic?

The girl in the mirror just didn't appear like I wanted her to be. She's supposed to be Nii-san's bubbly partner in crime. 'Speaking of Nii-san, where is he?' I need to be with him.

Where is he? My entire purpose...

Usually, when I'm scared, I go find him, and it's all better, but instead, I'm with a weird blue woman. "Ugh..." With my right hand pulled, I put my left onto my pulsing forehead. 'My head hurts...' how much had I slept while I was in that room...?

...What had I been doing these last few days? I'm way late for school. I had stopped in thought long enough that the weird woman I was following took notice. "Come, child. We're leaving this place. You shall have plenty of rest soon." A voice that allowed no disagreement, even if her Japanese had a bit of an accent. She pulled me along without waiting for an answer. She was a stranger, but there was no other path to take; a part of me recognized her as trustworthy.

She wasn't lying either. The walking ended when she picked me up and put me in the front seat of her car. I'd always had a car seat in the back before now. She must know what's right, though; she's a pretty adult. They always know best. I was taken by her exotic beauty. Just like a woman I knew, someone I called mother.

Anyways, I always wanted to be in the front… But now it doesn't feel good. It feels empty, like it's missing what I wanted out of it. It was an emptiness that went far past just sitting in the front seat, but that's not something I wanted to think about.

We were off, driving a bit fast across the city. The winter scene of Fuyuki was sombre, cold, and intolerant of any wish to at least appreciate its beauty for a final time. Perfectly fine with leaving me in disgrace. The air was clear as if to say that the choking smoke was never even there at all.

Eventually, the car became a big hall with lots of people in suits running around. The people scared me, so I moved closer to the blue lady, almost fully hiding in her skirt. She was probably annoyed by me, but she didn't stop me or say anything at all.

'She's weird….' Moving through the big mall, we eventually entered a weird... train?

I think I know what it is... an airplane! Yes, I remember it from school! this is definitely an airplane. But why would we get on one of those?

I didn't speak up. I had no energy left for that. After we passed the tall captain, the blue woman beckoned me. "Now sit, girl. It's going to be a long trip, so get comfortable. You should be honoured to be one of the few to enter into my private jet."

"Okay..." We sat across from each other in comfortable chairs. There was nobody but us in here. She silently wrote as the vibrations got loader and loader. And as the plane started to move, she didn't bat an eye at anything. Only when we were high into the air and stable did she begin to talk. My head was so hazy I didn't think about anything. I wanted to die, but I didn't have the energy left to remember how.

"I know you must be nervous, going off with a stranger like me, but there is no need, trust me."

"..." I wanted to talk, but the effort required was more than the energy that remained.

"Can you not respond, girl?"

"...Ahhh..." I yawn. Then close my eyes, yet I'm too sweaty to sleep.

"I see. You must be exhausted. I'll give you what you need." She got herself up and walked next to my seat. Pulling back the sleeve of her shoulder, baring something that shouldn't be there: a glowing symbol. But even that strange sight didn't arouse my interest. My mind had long since stopped caring about much of anything. "I'm just going to put you into a nice deep sleep, so you'll be all ready when we arrive, ok?" I nodded, the last vestiges of my understanding consented. "Current (Surge)," her strange words echo in my head and I start feeling really cold.

---

What awaited me in my mind was madness.

Who was Katarina Saijo, and why was she in this story at all? Why is she here in a place that no one should be? It was illogical. She made no sense as an individual or a manufactured character. Yet everyone went along with the facade because there was no alternative. The universe abides by the Laws of Thermodynamics, and even miracles must bend to fit these rules to the minimal degree to which the universe will not destroy itself.

All energy in the universe is constant, and it can neither be destroyed nor created. It can only be converted.

"Shut up."

Conversion from one source of energy to another is how new forms are created.

"Shut up..."

But the process in which this conversion takes place necessitates that there is the sacrifice of other close forms which hold the needed energy to create the new one.

"Shut up...! I said shut up and never come back! I don't want to hear it anymore. I am Katarina Saijo, Shirou's biological little sister... That is all there is to it. You don't know anything...! You are nothing at all! Just a voice with no emotion. Logic without feeling. I hate you! I hate you!"

I am you.

"No. You are not me. You are the evil, disgusting parasite that needs to be burned alive. But since you won't even have the manners to just turn to ash, I have a new different idea. It's time for you to drown...! Drown...! Drown under the ice that you can never escape from...!"

It was dark. Everything was hot. So hot, but I was stuck. There was a dream I wanted, but I broke it like a toy. No matter how much I said it was an accident, no one seemed to care. So, in the end, I decided it was better if I just drowned that part of me which could never heal anyway and started over as best I can. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was dumb. I knew it wasn't going to fix anything. Yet I drowned that little black-haired girl who once was and stomped on her broken corpse when she tried to breathe. I did it until I could convince myself she was really dead. But... all I achieved was turning my own mind into a place where I would be suffocating for eternity.

The dreams came anyway as if to laugh at my attempts at killing myself.

Of course, I dreamt of that day. There was fire but no light. It was all just shades of grey, with one exception, that beautiful red beside me. It was my brother: Shirou, the person who always protected me. He seemed far away now. His eyes reflected the world as it should be, all shades of red. But even still, it was all grey and subdued. Why do we see the same thing in such different ways?

I saw my first start, but all he saw was a boring normal day.

I try to reach for Shirou, but I can't quite make it. It is like he doesn't even want me to make it.

"Ahhhh!" It hurts! The world itself decided that I needed to die. So it burned everything to get to me.

It's a pain you can live through, scarred... but alive. It wasn't that that made my heart fall. It was the loss. Loss of meaning. Again, falling back to nothingness. A squall pushed us in different directions. "Agh, Shirou! where are you!" The flame rose into the sky like a spire. 'What is this?' Finally, I remembered what I had tried so hard to forget.

Everyone had burned away. Dad was an ashy shadow drawn into the grass. Mom's body was so burned she could no longer move, but her soul was even worse. Shirou... where did he go? He ran away. He got lost.

"But I could change it! Shirou's right there!" I crawled, hand and knees fighting through the scalding breath of the colourless flame. The squall threatened to push him away. "Almost there!" I yelled out, But he didn't move, as if there was no pilot to his body.

As I scraped my body forward, I saw it...

A black sun that seemed unholy even to the shadows, and Shirou was being drawn right into it. Right on the edge, I made my move. "Ach!" I jumped myself forward and held his limp arm just to the point of no return.

"I've got you!" But I could pull him back with me. "Just don't let go! You're supposed to be the strong one!" Why is he not helping!? He still breathed. His eyes were open. But there was nothing inside of them.

To lose him was to lose myself. My nails scraped across his arm as I tried to grasp onto him, but it was like the wind was getting angry that we hadn't been separated yet. Save or follow him, as long as we weren't separated. I just didn't want to be alone and didn't care if we would both fade away, as long as it was together.

"Hold on... errrrrrrr!" I held onto his fingers and yelled as I mustered strength that should be impossible for a child.

Yet... these hands could no longer hold anything... So I lost my grip and watched as he disappeared lifelessly into the black sun. "Nooooooo!" Why...? "Wait! Don't go! Please, I just don't want to be alone!" I can not be alone, it's not possible!

Why are you going somewhere I can't follow?

No ground caught me, I just kept falling, or maybe it was that whole world was rising so it could leave me too. I fell until nothing remained of the black sun or any trace of the idea that Shirou had once been my brother. I forgot his face, and his smile and everything else. He was nothing anyway, right?

...But no. I couldn't even muster myself to forget him. The black sun had won. It had taken Shirou and left me entirely alone. A woman's voice tackled at me; it tore at me and pushed me into oblivion. It was the wind itself. 'Who did it? Who did it? Who did it!?' I was alone again, stuck in dank darkness. 'Who was responsible? What was the cause?'

I would find them and kill them.

...But the face that reflected at me from the shadows showed that it was pointless. It was a disgusting face, full of malice and completely lacking in human empathy: It was my face. The face of a useless and dead girl, for without Nii-san, I had no purpose of living. ...And yet I was still here. It was not right. I had no right to be like this then. 'I see...' The rage and sorrow seemed to disappear; I didn't have the right at all. Many things made sense now; it was clear who the monster was. Unfortunately, no one figured it out before it was too late.

I didn't blame the black sun, even if it did start the fire or take Shirou away from me. I mean... they were just trying to get away from me, that's it. Everyone in the fire just wanted to get as far away from me as possible because they could never be happy while I was there. That's why Shirou didn't resist; he was happy to be taken away.

'Hahahahahaha! Isn't it simple?'

These thoughts... I couldn't help but indulge in them. There was hatred inside of me as if the wishes of the damned from that fire could never leave for a second. Shadows in the dark, wrapping around my heart and whispering terrible lies. I wanted to die, and so that was my new wish. Yet the wish was limited, it couldn't give me any more than what I really believed it could give me.

So it took only one of my body parts and made it so it would live with the dead forever. It scooped out my eyes and cut them in pieces, then put them back into the sockets. The life of Katarina Saijo didn't end, but the survival process was cruel, taking everything that made her a person as compensation. I had her name, Katarina Saijo, that was me. Without a family, a name means nothing, and without a name, a person is just an empty husk. Still... despite all this, I can only continue on. I am one of the damned now, and so I can not be given the mercy of death. As my mind began to rouse itself, this final thought was the only one that I would consciously remember experiencing in that dismal nightmare.

"Current (Surge). Awake light from thy dream!" It was not a loud voice, but the power of it seemed to go beyond simply waking me.

---

The End of Reminiscence. (Music) /YJhC70dPN2Y

"Ahhhhha," I took a big breath, bringing with it all the feelings I had ignored. For one, it's cold out. What I'm wearing is so inadequate. My head hurt, and I know I had a terrible nightmare that made no sense but ate my heart anyway. "Ohhhhhha." I had slept in a big chair reclined far back. My body was much softer than it felt before. The hospital robes that I had worn coming here had somehow transformed into a light red dress. After so long barely wearing anything, it felt nice yet strange with real clothes again.

There were maids looking at me and planning all types of things like my sizes and preferences. The stunning blue woman looked at me. She looked like a European queen from one of those princess movies. "You're awake then. I hope you slept peacefully." I didn't quite remember the dream, but my heart's sweat and beating suggested that it hadn't been enjoyable.

"Sorry..." Those bad feelings inside me made me want to apologize first.

"I was the one to put you to sleep. No need to apologize, child. May I ask you some questions? We still have time until we land. It is important that you tell me everything that you know, understand?"

"Ok."

She glanced at her notebook one last time before slowly asking her questions. "Just to confirm, are you truly Katarina Saijo? The only heir to the Saijo line of Magi?"

That's me. Yes... that is who I am. "Ohh, um, yes." She marked off something in her notes and continued.

Sh smiled widely. "Perfect! You would be surprised by how easy it is to confuse children. It would be such a shame if you turned out to be a lowly peasant after all that."

"..." I guess...

"Listen, from this day forth. I've decided to take you on as my charge. That makes me your guardian. This is not something that I am taking lightly, so I expect you to live up to certain expectations. The rights given to me by the last head of the Saijo house also comes with the complete control over all Saijo properties being given to the Edelfelt thenceforth. Do you agree and understand?"

I didn't know what she was saying so I just nodded along. "Yes... er, Oba-Sama?" I didn't remember her name, so I just called her that.

"Oba...Sama? That means... old lady, correct? Katarina, child, never call me that again. Call me Mrs Edelfelt." She seemed sincerely offended by that comment. "In fact, as soon as you are able, you will speak English or Finnish, for those are more noble languages."

Her cold demeanour broke me quickly. "Sowwy, I won't say it again... please just don't throw me away... I'll call you whatever you want." My voice broke as I started to fear what could happen to me.

She paused not knowing what to do. She did seem to have a good heart below the surface. "Katarina... I see... that was, err, mean of me, wasn't it? forgive me. I'm not mad at you, so do not cry." She seemed uncomfortable when faced with a panicking child. She loosened the neck of her long dress.

"... Sowwy."

"More apologies? Listen, give only a single apology or, even better, tell someone thank you. So what do you say?"

"...Sorry for... apologizing so much." Now she was just sighing. I didn't feel like being thankful to anyone.

She sighed. "Hah... I guess I shouldn't expect you to take my lessons to heart so easily. You are only six and have so far been living amongst the peasants. It will take only a month before I have re-educated you to a proper standard, do not worry. You have much to catch up on." She lamented.

"Catch up?"

"Yes, I was going to wait until we were home but considering we have this time to talk, I might as well tell you: I have two daughters of myself that you will be living and learning together with. They will be looking after you until you can act as a proper Magus in service to the Edelfelt family."

"Magus? Is that for... you know... Magic?"

"Yes... now, what do you know of Magic? Tell the truth now, don't hold anything back." Her eyes were sharper than they were before.

"Awww, well, umm... you cast spells, right? But I've never actually seen one. Mom just said that I was going to have to maybe learn. That means you know Magic, like a shaman, right?" She looked me in the eyes for a few seconds as if I had stolen a cookie.

"Haaah..." sighing deeply, she put her hands to her face and let out a weak smile. "Your mother... turned away from the path of a Magus and became a peasant of her own free will. That is what killed her, do you understand?"

"Yeah... My Mom, you know her?" Knew her.

"Yes. I was well-acquainted with her. Your family is a traditional ally to the Edelfelt, so she once was my companion in my work. If any other family asked me to take care of a lost child, I would certainly refuse. But this is the correct decision in the great scheme of things."

"You know Nii-san? Did you find him!?" The last small flicker of hope comes to the surface.

"No, that was before... I apologise, from what I have gathered, he did not survive." She moved on quickly.

"Oh. Yeah, I know..." I don't know why I got my hopes up at all. I wish I could just not care about anything. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"It's unfortunate what happened to him, however, it is common in this world of Magic. My own sister... is now lost to this world, just as your family now is. What matters is that your Magic Crest is still alive, so you must be pleased to continue your line."

She was smart and knew big words I didn't so I thought she knew all types of thing I didn't know. I wanted answers, "Why is there so much death in this world? Why does it all burn down?"

"The strength of the bloodline and the soul. Some can survive in this crushing world to become diamonds, and others crumble under pressure to become broken granite. Your mother was impressive for a time, but she shined only for a moment before falling to her own weakness. So she ran away. Listen, Katarina. Death is unavoidable as a mage. You will walk with it and respect its presence, or else you will fall to ruin. Your mother was unwilling to accept her responsibility in having that power. I was correct in the end in our arguments... but all I have is a poor taste in my mouth." She seemed saddened by Mom's death.

So it was all mom's fault then...? Was God punishing her, or had a monster so evil shown up that even she couldn't protect us? Her hand held over her left eye, she shook off her feelings. "You were right too Elza, I'm as soft as you..." looking at me intently, coming to a conclusion of her own. "I will look after the child that you have left for me. ...I'm adopting you, you will retain your name... for now, child. So tell me, why do you want to learn Magic?"

I thought about what Mom said. "...I want to be strong. So I can stop that fire. If it ever came back, I could stop it myself..." She looked a little disappointed by my answer.

"Fine. I can do that for you. Magic will bring you power beyond your imagination. All I ask is your compliance. You will learn that you can gain anything you iwhs, and stop any calamity for the things you care for if you work to gain that power. But I would not worry, for you shall be entering into the center of the Edelfelt land. No family holds such power than ours over our lands."

"Yes... I need that. I need power." I need to be strong. "...You're a lot like mommy was."

"Hmm, How so?"

"Uhh, well... you're beautiful... and really smart and kind and cool and beautiful."

"Hahahaha, you are a natural flatterer. You didn't say anything I didn't know already, but it certainly confirms you have a good head on your shoulders. If only my daughters shared your appreciation. They have yet to admit their own perfection, but I know you will play well into their own moulding." She mumbled the last part.

"..." I was only good at making people think I was good. But let me close to you; all you will find is a ticking time bomb... Silence reigned for a while, but something was bugging me... "..." My mouth opened and closed.

"...Is there something on your mind Katarina?"

"Well... why are you taking me in? I'm just a useless child..." after all, the only one left to blame is me.

She looked offended, "First of all, I never want to hear those words from you ever again If you were useless. You have plenty of potential value stored in you that needs only to be exploited. I really would have left you in that hospital if that was not the case. But to answer your question, I am doing this because your mother asked me to."

"Mom did...? when did that happen?" It was only yesterday that I was in the hospital watching mom's lifeless body, but the memories were already hazy and unclear.

"Did you not see her write a letter? It was a ghastly thing to receive, to be sure."

"Letter... letter... yeah, I remember that was when she woke up for a little while before she got all quiet."

"Yes, that must have been the one... You... hmm, how can I say this? You were with her all that time until I arrived, or am I wrong?"

"Yup, I never left her side, not when she was sleeping and even when she started to smell bad. Those doctors just let her decay like that; they pretended she wasn't even there..." Her eyes were tight and unblinking, looking at me with a gloomy strength.

"I see... I can not blame you for what you did then. You don't know any better. Even still, I don't understand how you could have taken it; for a week, you looked over your own mother's dead body... I couldn't bear to see her like that for a second."

"..." The truth was I didn't bear it. She looked at me as if I were crazy. ...Maybe I am. I just let myself go with Mommy and decayed too, but from the inside.

"All I can do for you now is take care of your future. I can be a mother to you, but you cannot be my daughter."

"Huh? what do you mean?"

"You will not receive the privileges of being a child of the Edelfelt family, for now. What I can give you is my support as your guardian and teacher. As long as my husband is off working at the Clock Tower, I am busy as is preparing for the transference of power..." Her words carried off slowly. "Sorry, you must have no idea what I am speaking of."

"No... it's alright." Even though Henrieta had her own family, she was still willing to take me in nonetheless. And now she was guilty that she couldn't "You've done... so much for me already so I will help you too. I'll listen."

"That sounds great, Katarina. I think that I made the right choice in taking you in." She talked more and more about her whole life to me, and I did my best to listen to her.

"Thank you." A sense of satisfaction filled me, and I felt like I was fortunate to be given this second chance in life. "Just don't leave me like they did..." I slept some more.

---

When we landed on the ground, I found myself in a place that looked wholly different from home. As we left, I latched onto her long dress and followed her brisk pace without complaint. Reaching the terminal, the people here looked so different from what I was used to.

'Is this Europe?'

On Mom's side, I was a quarter German, I had the natural red hair to prove it, so I guess it was not that different. 'But still... there are so many blonde people here. I wonder if they see me as strange here as we see them at home.' Walking out through the door, I saw a big sign with German characters, like how mom would write.

I could try to spell out the sound. I'm not a dummy; I know that much. "He-ru-sin-ki airu-po-ro-to." I spelt it out aloud, but that didn't give me any understanding of where this was. A city with two names?'

"Do you understand what that means, Katarina?" Mrs Edelfelt has stopped too out in the cold air as cars came and went in the cold winter air.

"Err, No... Sorry." It really was cold here...

"This is Helsinki., the capital of Finland."

"I see..." Finland must be a part of Germany or something.

We didn't wait long In the cold before a really pretty old car parked right in front of us. An older man with gray hair and deep blue eyes came out to greet us. He was tall and muscular. "I apologize for the wait, Mistress Edelfelt; the young mistress you left in charge had been very... anxious."

"Hah, I'm sure that I've been missed. If they can't handle a day alone, then maybe I should distance myself more often. They are far too old to have such emotions." What are they talking about?

"Now, Ilmarinen, take the day off, explore the town; I'll be driving home myself. I wish to drive with the winds in my face."

"Of course, Mistress Edelfelt, thank you for your kindness." After that, the old man walked off without regarding me at all.

She kneeled with car keys in her hands and spoke to me in a kind voice that didn't really suit her. "Alright, This is your final chance; what's your choice? Try your hand as an orphan or come with me and reach places you could never imagine."

'Mom... and Papa... and Nii-san are all gone. I don't want to lose anymore...' My body answered before my mind. My hand was tugging on her long blue dress, refusing to let her leave me. "Please don't go..." Her face melted for a moment. She couldn't help but ruffle my hair. I had her now.

"Hohohoho. That is simply what I wished to hear directly. This is Finland, but we still have a ways to go until we reach the complex. I'm sure you'll love it there. The greatest mansion in all of Finland and beyond!" She seemed proud of it.

"Your home... what's it like?" I imagined my own house but with more blue.

"Haha, it will be better for you to see it for yourself. I'm sure you won't be disappointed. It's really the one thing that family has never lost, though compared to other magus families, our home is not yet the greatest; we are working on that.

"Okay." I definitely wanted to see the place I was going to be living in from now on.

The scenery was different from home; so many little lakes and streams dotted the landscape. Tall green trees lined the road; more often than not, there wasn't a house in sight. We quietly drove for about two hours before exiting the big road onto a little one leading farther and farther into the woods.

Over, behind it held a house so big I think it rivalled the big school back home. No, it's way bigger. Lots of beautiful old buildings, with newer ones next to them, perfectly blended in with one another. However, it was more like a bunch of buildings next to each other.

"Here we are, Katarina. Witness the true superiority of the Edelfelt!" She pointed to the great mansion like it was her toy, but I had nothing to show her in return. "Oh! There they are, all interested in the new arrival I see." She pointed at the middle door that seemed to be the big entrance.

Standing on the steps was a small girl in a matching blue dress to Mrs Edelfelt. I think there was another blue thing there, but whatever it was, It didn't seem to want to be seen. Stopping in front of the marble stairs, at the big pebble driveway that surrounds a pretty fountain, Mrs Edelfelt beckoned me out. Everything was so big and pretty, like walking into a dream of being a princess.

"This is the child I have promised you to be your new friend, my daughters. Alright, Katarina, no need to be shy. Go introduce yourself." She smiled as if it was a kind gesture, but for some reason, this small interaction gave me dread.

"Alright..." It's impolite not to introduce yourself. Dad said that once at the playground. I was a little scared now, but I knew it was a bit late for that. Henrietta seemed like a good adult, and I had already left Japan; there was nowhere to go but with her now.

"Uhh, I like your dress."

"My mom does too." She spoke with the same accent as Henrietta, but surprisingly she was almost better at the language than her Mom. She pointed at the simple red dress I had on, "You look okay too, but mine is better; it is blue."

"So?"

"Blue is the best colour representing the aristocracy. Red is for babies." Oh, I didn't know that.

"I still like mine." I think blue is for babies, but I didn't want to fight about it, so I kept silent.

"Yeah... it's fine." I looked away, searching for Mrs Edelfelt, but the blue girl walked right up to me when I did. The girl looked all over my body like I was her new toy.

"Uhh, what is your name?"

"Well, I am proud to announce that my name is Luviagelita Edelfelt, but those who are allowed to be my lesser may know me as Luvia! ...Except mom, I guess." She held her hands to her sides and puffed out her chest. She seemed like the sort of girl who was proud to give her name whenever possible. The girl looked confused for a minute until suddenly her eyes went wide, and she hugged me out of nowhere.

"Well, my name is Katarina Saijo. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, I know that. Mom made a big fuss about it and ran across the whole world to go get you. I worked really hard to get my Japanese ready. It's good, right? The kind of language that the river peasants use is enjoyable to understand."

"Yeah, you sound good." She sounded almost like a natural speaker. When she heard that, she went and hugged me, my reaction so slow that I didn't even move.

"What?" I didn't know why this girl was hugging me all of a sudden.

"I just wanted to give you a hug! Thanks for saying that," she explained. her smile was perfect but too good. It was fake. You can't fool a master, after all. "Hmm... you are nice. Why not be my pe- friend?" she tightened up around me and refused to let go.

"...?"

"I like you. So I think I will buy you." She held me tight like I was a stuffed animal.

"What? Oh, thanks..." Embarrassed a little, I looked past her and saw Mrs Edelfelt and something small and blue behind her. Shirou used to give hugs all the time. It hurt to think I would never be able to hug anyone from my family ever again. Nii-san... he wouldn't want me just to let go... He'd say I have to be good and do better. I could live for someone else then. Or maybe I'm just a crybaby and a coward. Maybe that's why I didn't want to let go. I was afraid of losing even a stranger's touch.

"Mine." She snuggled up to me and threaded her fingers through my hair. "Red hair... that's cool too... I will buy that too for the novelty." No, I think she sees me as a new toy...

But that's alright... I'll do anything it takes to stay here. Her arms reached across, encompassing my back. She had complete control. She linked her hands around and picked me right up. 'Ughh.' The air left me as she demonstrated her strength, holding my entire body up.

"Now, now, Luvia, put her down this instant. What have I told you about employing such base moves...?" Putting me down, Luvia pouted but complied with her Mother. Now back on my own two feet and out of her arms, I saw Luvia in a new light.

She was definitely not just any normal kid. To describe it in a single word would probably be 'perfect.' A genius unbound by normal standards. She seemed much bigger in status than her age probably is. 'She's a lot stronger than me...' She wasn't taller than me, but she had strength that went beyond a normal kid's.

AdMiRaTiOn? I wonder if Luvia would live to regret this moment for the rest of her life. She knew not of what she was doing. I started to like her, and felt attached like a leech.

"I apologize for my daughter's behaviour, Katarina. She must be finding those horrid wrestling shows again."

"It's okay. Nii-san used to give me hugs all the time."

"...I see." Henrietta quietly responded.

"Niisan... car, right?" Luvia spoke confused in her broken Japanese.

"No, not Nissan, nii-san is... uh..." I don't know what it is in her language...

"It's the word for brother, Luvia." Henrietta seemed to clear up the confusion in a different language.

"Oh, then you have a brother? Where is he? The only boy I know is Dad, and I guess Ilimarinen, but that doesn't count because he is an old servant. I've always wanted to talk to a boy."

"Shirou... Nii-san is... not..." All of a sudden, my head felt light, and the world seemed all hazy. 'Nii-san? Where did he go again?' A black-haired girl died for his sake. I killed her, and I killed him.

My throat tightened as I acknowledged that I wouldn't ever see him again. "Waa...aaah!" It was like my heart started beating again as if I had died with Mom, but now I was born anew. "Sniff, aah! I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Don't kill me..." My breathing strained as snot and tears flew freely across my face.

'I wanna go home, I want Mom, I want Dad, I want Shirou!' but little crybabies don't get what they want. 'I know that! I know, yet I can't control it!' The wish was made years ago. Luvia awkwardly moved back from me, retreating to her mother's vicinity.

"Err, did I do something wrong, Mom?" I could hear them talking about me, but I didn't understand their language. They were probably regretting taking in broken goods.

"No, it wasn't you, Luviagelita. I know I've taught you not to be a crybaby, but... there are times when it's unavoidable. Such a poor child, yet she will look back and be thankful that she was able to attain Magic as her brother died before taking her place."

I felt Luvia come near, but there was no embrace this time; she kept her distance. That's right... they should keep their distance. Leave me in the woods so I can rot. Everyone close to me will sooner or later be taken away. The dream was right; eventually, everyone around me will be pulled into the shadows. But despite knowing this... I'm selfish... I want to stay, I want to be protected, I want to go on and succeed as Mom told me to. I am a parasite who feeds on the dreams of others for sustenance.

"Why are you sad?" She probably is tired of me now that she can see I'm not just some new toy.

"Sniffle, sowwy..." If they see, I'm just a crybaby. They're going to put me in an orphanage. I can't do this.

"Whatever it is... I promise that I will make this right. I will destroy the bad things and make them hurt even worse."

"...Really?" How could she do it?

"If your brother is gone, how about I become your sister?" If only it were that easy. If only you could just wish for that and not suffer the consequences.

But that was the last moment I was logical. I lost and regressed into simply wanting to survive.

"Really? Aww, you'd do that?"

"Yup, I'm already a big sis, so having another one sounds even more fun." Behind Henrietta stood another girl, closer to my small size and with the same blond hair as everyone around here.

Was she the blue blur I saw earlier on the stairs? "I... I am... agh... Katarina." Still a mess, I tried to introduce myself to this new person.

"Oh, Suvianna, be a polite young lady and introduce yourself. She'll be your fellow student in Magic from now on, after all."

"Ok... Mom." I could tell she was nervous despite the communication barrier. "Ko-ni-ch-iwa, my name is... Suvianna Edelfelt, but... call me Suvia. Yoroshi-ku...onegaishimasu." She spoke in a fragmented Japanese that made Luvia look amazing in comparison, but she was still incredible compared to my ability in English.

"Yes... me too."

Henrietta patted her back softy. For some reason, she held out her hand, "Friends?" She said something in her language that I didn't understand.

To take it is to kill her. I do it anyway, just like I did before.

I held out my hand too, but by then, it was too late. She had retracted hers, for whatever reason. Well, I'm sure it doesn't really matter... Mrs Edlefelt looked over the three of us and beckoned us inside the place that would be my new home.

"Now that we are all introduced. Why don't we get going? There are many things that we need to speak of."

"Ok!" Though the Saijo name would remain, I had already lost any chance that it could ever be recovered. 'I'm sorry, Mom, Dad, Nii-san... I don't think I'll ever find you now...' I felt sorry for anyone who would mistake me for a good thing.

I changed over time and became just attuned to life enough to live on like a mollusck, breathing and eating but refusing to think about what I lost.

---

Three and a Half Years Later

Edelfelt Complex, Island of Väisälänsaari, Finland.

The door of Truth (Music) /kDU0Auyc-Zo

"Now, Suvianna, why are magi weaker now than they were in the past?" Mother spoke in her composed teaching voice. English has become my main language since I arrived here.

Eagerly standing up, Suvia gave her answer in her preferred haughty voice. "Magic has been in decline as civilization innovates technology that makes some Magecraft obsolete or useless." That sounds about right.

"A partial answer but not all there is to it. Luvia, tell me, what has shown us the recent decline in circuit quantity for many of the great families in recent generations?"

She doesn't bow as we would in Japan. However, she still excuses a respectful and refined aura, "Yes, Mother, certainly, many long lineages in the last years have been dying out or have had their magical circuit quantity collapse in recent generations, but that doesn't mean Magic society is collapsing. On the contrary, one must remember that a new one is rising in its magical ability for each family in decay. However, my own research finds that the prevalence of Mystery is in a relative decline and this can be used to increase the share of the Edelfelt control through careful negotiation and interventions in conflicts as soon as they manifest." Not hesitating for a second as she explains it perfectly, Luvia is amazing as usual.

"Excellent, Luvia. Now Katarina, why is this issue not being comprehensively researched by the Clock Tower."

'Agh... my turn.' "Well...err, the conservative and neutral factions they don't like to talk about it." Even With three years of intense English and Finnish lessons, I still struggled to speak at their level, especially when they were constantly using big words.

"That's correct, Katarina, but you took too long to answer again. Luvia, give Suvianna and Katarina some English lessons again tonight. Clearly, you have failed to instil strong expression skills into your sisters." She calmly gave me a death sentence.

"Yes, Mother," Luvia spoke calmly; she's never minded having to teach me when I'm not up to par. She's truly an angel in devil's clothing.

Suvia, on the other hand, was the opposite. I didn't need to look at her to feel her burning annoyance. I think she was literally using one of her little fire cantraps to burn my back. "Nnnnnnnngh..." I clenched my teeth as my eyes water a little in pain.

It's like getting pinched, but you check there, and nothing was there, just a tiny mark that no one would take you seriously for if you complained. It's not the first circle on my back, nor would it be the last, considering I was always holding them back. "Something the matter, Katarina?" Mother doesn't know about what Suvia does, but she always senses when something is off with me.

"No, Mother. I am alright." The best fake smile I can manage comes on my face, not quite as good as Luvia's but definitely high standard amongst the average kid.

I didn't want to cause a scene, after all... If she had to pick between the two of us in this household, it was obvious who she'd support... and it wasn't me. I've gotten good at hiding it. Suvia wants to make me squirm, so I won't give her satisfaction. Another day, in another class, The main subject was Magic, and the only teacher was Henrietta, but we all called her 'Mother' or rarely 'Mom'. She was our teacher first.

We did martial arts too, but that was supplementary.

Luvia and Suvia's daddy is in London, but we were told that he's actually going to move here with us soon. He comes over from time to time, but I've never spoken with him, though you'd think Suvia was a different person when he's around. She pretends to be such a sweet little girl so well that I almost believe it, but I have enough marks on my back to prove otherwise. I secretly fear her in my heart.

To be honest... I'm scared of him, 'what if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I should just be sent away?' It's not like I could ask them. That might just give them the idea. So I suffer in silence, fearing that one day soon, I'll be sent off.

It will happen. Eventually, things will change, but... I don't like it. I'd rather suffer in silence to maintain a modicum of security here than try and change for the better but have the chance of losing it all.

I really, really didn't want to lose anything I had gained here. Even if Suvia was a big meanie, I still wanted to get along with her one day, if only I could understand how to become at least friendly. Henrietta was like a Mother to me. At this point, she pretty much was, just not officially. If she hadn't come and saved me, I do not doubt that I would have followed Mom into death. I was still just a guest here.

Then there was Luvia... and the thought of losing her made me cry, and I didn't even consider myself a crybaby so much anymore. She was my sister, we may not share the same last name, but we treat each other as real siblings do. She is the nice one here. Treating me like a work in progress that she has to fix, but I don't mind. I'd be horrible without her efforts.

I walk behind them out of the room we use to train.

Finally, Leaving the Edelfelt workshop, we walked across the beautiful yard in our matching azure dresses. One of the few times a ceasefire between us is in the dressing room in the morning. The three of us work hand in hand to make one another as elegant as possible. I definitely feel classy, wearing such fancy and beautiful clothing; the only problem is that I feel like an imposter. Like I'm just a sad, poor girl trying to play at being rich and happy, and If they ever found out what I really am...

The servants treated me excellently, and even if my relationship with the Edelfelt sisters had its ups and downs, they were the closest thing I had, resembling a family. I guess I just can't get over the fact that I lived when Shirou died. It still doesn't make sense to me. I shouldn't exist if he doesn't.

If there is one lesson I understand in the short time I've lived, it's that a good thing exists only to be taken away when you least expect it...

---

That night when I was walking to Luvia's room back from the garden, I heard words I was most afraid of. I hid past the corner and heard Mother and... was that Suvia? Her voice was a little off, though. Their voices were loud enough that even without a reinforced hearing, I could make it out precisely. I was good at hiding.

"Mother, can I say something?"

"Hmm... What is it, Suvianna?" So it is Suvianna then...

"Well... I didn't want to bring it up, but... I believe that Katarina may not have what it takes to ever succeed as a Magi; you know she has constantly been failing in the basics, forcing us to go over it over and over." This can't be happening... please not again.

"I see... such as?"

"The gems that we have given to her to practice conversion on seem to end up degrading compared to our own, we have warned multiple times to limit the flow of magical energy, but I don't think she listens to anything we say. I simply don't see the point of having her around. You said that she is supposed to act as a student under Luvia and me in order to enhance our learning as well, but I think she is actually a detriment."

"Hmm, if I find what you say to be true... then I will send her away somewhere, though perhaps she can still prove herself. Is that acceptable to you?"

"Yes, mother, thank you for listening..." The last word of the conversation was faint as I was already running back to my room in a semi-panic. 'Please! I don't want to lose it all again!'

I slam my door open, jump on my bed and scream into the fine silken sheets; they are cold, though.

I am a Saijo, not an Edelfelt, but still... this was my family now. They were all I had. Henrietta was my mother, and Luvia and Suvia were practically my sisters. Luvia is always so accepting of me, always watching over me and holding back for my benefit when I inevitably fail to match their greatness. And now I was about to lose all of it. Just like before, just like with Shirou...

"Aghh..." And now I'm so pathetic that I'll just cry about it. Am I really still the same crybaby who cried herself to sleep the first month I came here? I guess so...

"Katarina, Are you... crying?" My heart stopped as someone entered my room.

"No, Luvia, sniff... Just something in my eye." I try to hide how I'm feeling from her. Please don't let her see me... Not her, anyone but Luvia... She always believes in me, and she thinks I'm strong, but I'm so weak... need... to... hide.

"You know you can't trick me; I'm the oldest, you know." Hmm? Her voice was close.

"Mom is older, though..." I hid under the pillow.

"I'm the oldest of the three of us, though. What… did you think I didn't know what has been happening with my two sisters?"

"S-s-sister?" It's not something said out loud like that; sometimes, I wish I was Katarina Edelfelt, though.

"Did I say something strange?"

"Well... you called me sister... I'm a guest. " I muttered.

"Well, aren't we sisters?" Her tone was assertive, similar to Henrietta's.

Normally I would agree, but after what I heard in the hall, I didn't want to be selfish anymore, "I'm... not one of you... I know, not really. I'm just a peasant…" I spoke quietly, afraid of where this could lead.

"..." Luvia didn't speak, for once maybe lost with what to say.

"I know that's how you see me." The pain made me angry, and the anger took away my ability to think before speaking. "You don't have to hide it anymore... I know I'm just a waste of space!" I was too angry to think anymore.

"Hmm... it hurts, doesn't it? What did Suvia say this time? If she has made you like his, then maybe I can no longer stay back from this... No matter what it was, you heard, you are my sister, and I don't want to hear you say otherwise anymore. I don't appreciate dissent from someone beholden to me. If you think you can be more, then take it. Why do you cry about it?"

'Luvia... I wish I could be as strong as you.' "Well, Suvia... she said to mom... that maybe I should be sent away..."

"I see... is that it?" she looked away from me for a moment; it almost felt like she didn't care. The tears had dried as I sat up on my bed, hugging my red lion, Luvia's present for me when I succeeded at my first spell. She treated me like I was a baby.

"You... you... don't care?" Was... she agreeing with them!? I have no allies at all.

But she shook her head, "Wrong, Katarina; it's the opposite. If I didn't care about you, I would stop Suvianna myself; that would be the easiest solution. It's just that there is one thing I think would help both of you at the same time. I'm not sure if you'd be up for it, though. If you look up at her as your better, that is admitting you are worthless. I do not believe that is so, you have potential, but you refuse to seize it. It is a shame to let potential be wasted in such a way."

"So... what? You're afraid of making Suvia mad at you? "

"No, that's not it. Give me time, and I could end all this myself with everyone coming out happy. But where would that leave you and Suvia? It would make you reliant on me to solve all your problems. I would rather that the two of you come out of this mess stronger for it." Strong, yes, I can't just let it end here, and trying to push it off on Luvia was selfish of me.

"So... what can I do then?" when she smiled at that, I realized that I had been played all the way up to this moment.

"Duel Suvia on equal terms and win." Of course, it would be something like this...

"Fight Suvia... and win?" that's impossible; I've never beaten her, the best I've ever done is push her long enough for an automatic draw, and those times I was given a starting advantage.

"Or would you rather have big sis come and do it all for you?" The slight feeling of disappointment betrayed that some part of me did want that.

"No... but why do you want me to be strong anyway?"

"Because that's not the Edelfelt way, we work together. That's how the Edelfelt sisters have always done it. We're the only family that can handle two inheritors of a single Magic Crest, so we can't have any weak links." It was then that I realized that Luvia was truly looking at me as the third Edelfelt sister, which explains why she had worked this all out for us.

"Yes, and you need to win because that is what would have the greatest outcome. As it is now, one day Suvia will hit a wall and won't know how to handle it."

"So... you want me to be a wall for her, is that all?"

"That's not all there is to it; if Mother really is thinking of getting rid of you, then getting Suvia on your side would guarantee your position here forever."

"Then... you want me to fight Suvia."

"Yes."

"Won't Mother get mad at us?"

"I'll deal with Mother. She'll be understanding." She seemed like she was listening to Suvia earlier, though...

"..." What is it I want?

Even if I'm content to live in Luvia's shadow, the thought that I would just be holding her back makes me sick. I will not just sit then if I have this chance! "I'll do it."

"Excellent!" By reflex, she moved closer to me, as if she wanted something, but she composed herself.

"Ahem... yes, that's very good to hear." She went back to trying to sound like Mother.

"I don't know why you always believe in me so much."

"I believe in you because you know you don't have the right answer; that already puts you higher than Suvia."

"..." That's wrong... Suvianna was not as generally talented as Luvia, who could already be considered a prodigy at anything she put her mind to. Suvia did surpass Luvia in some areas, but Luvia would get mad and wouldn't stop until Suvia was below her.

For instance, Suvia was, at one point, actually more skilled with Gem-Conversion Magecraft than Luvia. We were all taught simultaneously, but when we first began to practice, Suvia was faster and more efficient every single try. Of course, I was far below their abilities, but I was happy to be there.

That was the first time I saw Luvia lose at anything and probably the maddest she has ever been. For a week after that, Luvia started losing at almost everything, as if she had lost the will to succeed. It got so bad that I was even able to get one over on her in grappling training when I was able to trap her into a heel hook, something she would normally never ever fall for. Even if wrestling is something I'm okay at, Luvia normally dismantles me in seconds. Is that it then? Does she want me to do for Suvia what Suvia did for her? Be her motivation?

"You've been silent, Katarina, is there something wrong?"

"Oh, It's just that I think I understand now... This is like what happened between you and Suvia, with the gems..." The cold facade she tried to keep up melted a little when I brought up that.

"You... noticed that...?" I mean, it was really obvious, you know.

"We all did. I mean... you never fail, then all of a sudden, you were failing at stuff that even I could do. Suvia and I... I guess we just decided to let you figure it out on your own... sorry." If there was anything that Suvia and I could coordinate on, it was supporting Luvia. That's my job here, basically. I am a servant in my own way.

Shaking her head, Luvia closed her eyes and released her thoughts, "No... that actually helped me; if either of you had made fun of me, I wouldn't have learned my lesson. I would have just turned my frustration into hate towards both of you... I had to... learn about failure myself; otherwise, I would not be able to handle it when I'm grown up. That's what Mom said anyway..."

"..." I don't think I'd seen Luvia so... honest before.

"Suvia would rather be silent than admit she has any flaws. That's how it was before as well. So... I can't just sit around anymore; I'm the big sis around here, so it's my job to look out for you two... hmph." Her face blushed a little, and she crossed her arms and made a movement to flip her hair in a sort of pout. Nee-chan was clearly embarrassed.

I had seen someone do that once before... but who was it again? ...err, I don't know. My old life was so fuzzy now; I don't really remember their faces too well anymore. "I don't know what to say...I guess... I love you too..." I said the words before I thought about how embarrassing it is to admit. Even after three years of living with them, I still retained a casually intimate side out of place in a family accustomed to coldness. Love was a horrible thing to allow me to have for something.

"Don't-t think that flattery will make me go easier on you!" Thrusting out her finger like a girl in one of those shoujo mangas, I sneaked into her room for her last birthday.

"Ohh uhh, okay." If there was one thing I was good at, it was knowing when people were acting, Luvia was usually neutral to the point of being impossible to read but a few genuine compliments, and she falls apart. Considering the distance in our abilities, it's my only method to make her flustered in any way.

"Whatever it doesn't matter, on your honour of the last of the Saijo line and my own as the future head of the Edelfelt line, I officially condone this... arrangement between Suvianna Edelfelt and Katarina Saijo."

A bit dramatic, to be honest, but I was happy to see Luvia happy like that. She likes acting out big words and dramatic ceremonies; I was always in awe of her when she was like this. I couldn't help but feel strange that Luvia had come to my room so quickly, though...

---

Confrontation (Music) /0dL6ixvoAxE, /mkDi4BnckMU

As I started to put on the protective fighting gear, I started to get lost in nervous thoughts. 'Alright, deep breaths.' "Ahhhhh, oooooh," I stand up and stretch; I have to be perfect for this match. I can't leave it up to fate, and I need to do it with my own two hands.

Snap her neck.

Start from the basics and figure it out from there. That's what Ilmarinen, our martial trainer, said. Ilmarinen is an aged man that towers over all of us; he is at least 200 centimeters tall. He's pretty scary, but since he is our bodyguard, that's a good thing, I guess. He teaches us how to kill, basically. He is a master of Käsikähmätaistelu, a Finnish martial art that incorporates Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Aliso, Take Kwon do and Karate. He teaches us to be dynamic fighters, to have no empathy for our opponent, and take any opportunity to end the fight in a perfect single blow. When I found out that that completely incomprehensible word literally just meant 'hand-to-hand combat,' I was pretty disappointed. Though, Finnish, in general, felt incomprehensible most of the time, even with Luvia's daily lessons.

He gives us personal and collective lessons where we all fight one another and cooperate in trying to fight him. It's a funny sight seeing three ten and eleven-year-old girls try and swarm a giant man. We never win, but you'd be surprised by the level of ferocity that we can bring. I don't know where he is right now, but I hope he'll be proud of me in this. I don't know what I will do to win, but I will... somehow.

Mother, on the other hand, is a world-class wrestler on top of being a first-class Magus. Using Reinforcement Magic on her own body, she can probably outwrestle anyone in the whole world. Henrietta was the only person who could beat Ilmarinen when they were younger or something, and now he has sworn his loyalty to the Edelfelt clan because of that.

The Edelfelt style of combat emphasizes putting pressure onto your opponent with suppressive Magic and then beating them into submission. According to Mother, it is extremely effective since many Magi don't train their bodies and will fall apart as soon as you get close to them. It gives me a smile every time she tells us a story of a mage who couldn't fathom the idea that they were so easily bested using non-magical means and tried to call foul even as she took all of their research for herself. To be feared: such a thing is enticing, if not a little scary.

Each of the three of us has our own styles, even at this young age of development. Suvia is really good at striking and practically begs Ilmarinen to teach her. She has already mastered the art of counter punching and waiting for a decisive killing punch. I learned that first hand when she accidentally knocked me cold when she responded too well, but I guess it's my fault too for not being good enough. Her wrestling is actually weaker when compared to Luvia or me, but she makes up for it with her Jiu-Jitsu ability. You can take her to the ground, but she is ready to submit if you do, which is common since my only real strategy is against her.

Luvia is her opposite in that punching seems out of the equation for her. She doesn't even think of it. She really just wants to slam and wrestle people to the ground and then incapacitate them with grappling. The scary part is that it actually works; I think she has watched too much pro wrestling. Though again, I was the one who was able to acquire some pro wrestling tapes for her last birthday. After seeing those, she slammed me all over the mat, and I couldn't do anything about it. Luvia's happiness is correlated to how many times she slams me on the mat. That's an undisputed fact. At least you understand how and why Suvia does what she does with her punches and kicks. But with Luvia, you don't know you've been slammed onto the mat before it's far too late to stop it. She is a bit shy about it, because Mom is strict with Luvia if she demonstrates anything that could be seen as the action of a peasant.

As for me... I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm a good wrestler, better than Suvia but much worse than Luvia. My striking is nothing impressive., out of the unarmed martial skill, my grappling ability on the ground is the best; I can latch in a heel hook or move for a rear-baked choke with near seamlessness. My forte is none of that; it's actually sharp things. Something I can't test without the supervision of Ilmarinen, but I feel really good with a knife in my hands for some reason. Weapons are only allowed in unrestricted contests that happen only when Magi are seriously trying to kill each other, so I can't use them. It would be too easy to kill someone by accident. I like... blades, but I couldn't tell why.

No... I know why, but I'll never admit it.

'You stole his blood and took his curse.'

If I don't admit it then the voices quiet down.

Past our martial education was our magical one, which was definitely the more important one. Learning Magic also meant learning that we were beyond normal people, and that was the essence of the nobility of the Edelfelts. Luvia and Suvia would have Gandr when they would be given their Magic crests. A strong enough curse can be seen by the naked eye and could be changed to different degrees of strength. Ranging from giving the enemy a bad cold to necrotizing their bodies from the inside. Mother showed it to us once, firing it across the lake like a bullet from her finger. But it is far stronger than a bullet, and she can fire it like it is a machine gun. It blew up like a bomb on the water.

It was actually the only Edelfelt Magic I knew about at all, not that I would receive it, though. Even with her trust, Mother gave us separate lessons when it came to the actual unique magics of our families. I'm still not trusted with all the secrets since I am a guest here. Apparently, Henrietta had taken the magical crest of my Mother from her corpse and would be giving me 80% of it while keeping the rest as was offered by my original mom in the letter. It made it sound like I was some kind of hostage, but it really was very generous. No other magus would give back any at all.

"Haaaahh..." I exhaled as I moved on from this line of thought; when I get nervous, I always start having useless thoughts. I check that my braids are tight and walk to where they are waiting for me.

Suvia was not far from me; we were not fast enough to take up the entire arena, so we stay in the central area, which is a tenth of the full arena. I heard that grownup Magi can jump across the whole 40 x 40-meter floor in seconds. This place has only one purpose, which is to handle a battle between Magi without breaking. It is likely the most expensive building in the whole Edelfelt compound, as it requires multiple layers of Bounded Fields and heavily reinforced building parts that only certain families can provide. This is one of the few places in the world where Magi can fight without holding back without having to worry about collateral damage. It's not a sport. It's a facilitator to domination. Showing that your strength is so superior that your enemy is simply a bug to be crushed if you wished it.

That is the battleground I enter, and Suvianna will not hold back in trying to demonstrate that I am just a bug in her hands. But I can't let myself fall here.

I stand ready. "Suvia, are you ready? Have you chosen the ruleset?" Ruleset? Aren't we just going with the normal Reinforcement-only fight?

"Yes, sister... Anything goes sounds fine to me."

'What!?' I felt like I had been punched in the chest. 'We're way too young to fight with Magic!' We'll kill ourselves here. "That's... but... not what I agreed to..." So my plan is... completely ruined now... So much for holding her down and getting a submission. That doesn't work when Suvianna can turn her skin into fire.

"Oh, yes... I never told you, did I? Suvia said that in exchange for the stipulation that she'll accept you fully if you win, she'd get to fight you with Magic allowed. Don't tell me that you are scared?"

"Stipulation? What are you talking about!?" a wave of rare anger rushed to my head, had Luvia betrayed me? 'I've been completely duped here!' Even if I trusted and loved Luvia like a sister, that just made me feel worse as I felt like I was a wounded animal pushed into a corner. But these are true Magi, and I don't truly understand their resolve and warped common sense.

Suvia didn't wait to let me regain any composure, "Stop pretending, Katarina. Luvia related your challenge to me. Do you want me to accept you or not? Then beat me fair and square. No baby rules stopping Magic, no one to protect you from the beating you are about to receive. But, of course, as a member of the prestigious Edelfelt family, I am willing to offer you an out." That's... I don't want to do this... "Katarina, you are simply not fit to be a Magus. You are too kind for it, too weak. Mother said that If I wanted, I could kill you here and now, but I am a generous person. I'll let you live on if only so I can go see you at the local orphanage whenever I want to have a good laugh. Hahahaha!" Deep breaths, Katarina... she just wants to throw you off. "What? Are you going just to take this and die as your brother did?"

...She crossed a line. Shirou is off-limits. Warp my image if you will, curse me to death, but do not deface his name. 'She's right... I've been too kind to her. But she wouldn't say that if she knew what I am underneath; what I did to my family was anything but kind.' Kindness to her is mercy to me. You know, though? I couldn't help but laugh at how mistaken she was, "Haha...Hahaha...Hahahahaha..." How stupid are you!?

Unnerved by the echoes of my giggles in the grand room, Suvia calls me uncomfortably, "Katarina..." I don't bother speaking with her; my eyes are more than enough to communicate that this time will be different. She had insulted Nii-san. She would suffer.

"Sister... perhaps we can-" The discomfort in the room grows to the point that Luvia tries to speak, but I interrupt her.

"Shut up." My voice broke out cold. My visage lies cracked, and it would be exposed now. There was no more need for deception from anyone.

"Sis-ter...?" Luvia's real character breaks through when I turn on her; her sharp brilliance turned into befuddlement. It would look that way as my eyes showed complete insanity. I stopped fighting against the shadows in the dark. The ones my eyes had started seeing when I watched my decaying mother's corpse for a week. I see the dead and their spectres. I see the land of shadows and where all life ends up. I do not see death. I see what lies beyond it in the world underneath.

"You've done enough, sister. I understand the rules now. Don't worry about Suvia. I'll leave her intact for your sake."

Unfortunately, Suvia's Element and attribute is fire, and mine is wind. Dispelling fire with wind is almost impossible, but that isn't the problem... the problem is that when I see fire, I can't do anything but panic.

Just kill her then.

"Err, Fine, I'm still the adjudicator, though." Luvia clenches her teeth and puts her facade back on. "I'll be watching, Katarina. Impress me if you can." She walks to the side.

Suvia and I are looking into each other, seeking out weaknesses. "Hmm, you talk big girl but remember how this always goes for you? Just this once, I'll show you how utterly pathetic you are if I'm not holding back."

Breakthrough (Music) /Dj0Ia4GVHz0

"..." The time for words is already done. She just hasn't understood that yet.

"Enough, you have five seconds to prepare yourselves." Fine, you want me to win? I won't hold back either. "Five." My hands feel light. "Four." Wind starts to surge at my feet. "Three." My heart is beating fast. "Two." I'm already starting to see a red aura forming arround Suvia. "...One" Coinciding with Luvia's final count, Suvia and I spoke the words of activation.

"Enkindle (Arouse)!" Suvia's voice cracks the air.

I respond, "...Fallwind!" I flip the formless switch inside me. I feel a sensation as if the contents of my body are being exchanged. The usual nerves invert into circuits transmitting magical energy.

From this point, Katarina Saijo is not human. She is a conduit to give magical energy form. Our spells coincide as we both instantly fire our best spells at one another. We had not yet received the Magic crests that would link us to our ancestors, but that didn't mean we were defenceless. We are trained to bring destruction. I immediately cart roll right towards the nearest pillar to hide, narrowly evading the scalding flame where I had been before. I close my eyes and think the pillar will probably give me another six seconds before she starts getting antsy.

"Vindr!" I summon blades of wind, but I am countered by a curse of fire.

"Gandr!" Suvia must say these words as she doesn't have the Magic Crest just yet. If she had it then she wouldn't even need to say anything at all. From what I saw, she barely even reacted to the lance of wind I directed toward her. It was pitiful compared to her column of flame, give me ten seconds to prepare, and I could prepare a blast of wind strong enough to put her unconscious; unfortunately, she could do the same with fire.

Fire. A fire that was burning our house down. I hid in the closest, and Mom had to break down the burning door to save me. The sight of fire makes my muscles tense and my mind to go blank. My heart pulses so fast that I think I'm going to die.

'Just don't think about it, just don't think about it...' I can't panic if I just don't think about it. Fire is just a form of wind... It is the same process of temperatures converting and moving. Fire relies on the Oxygen in the air; if I can convert the air into-

My lack of focus is punished by Suvia. "Don't think you can stand there! Lord of Flames, burn this world!"

I flinch back at the wall of fire and need to dodge. My hands are shaking, and my eyes are crying.

"What? Is little Katarina startled by some fire?" Suvia called out in a mocking tone. Rage started to fill my mind for a split second. If I couldn't handle seeing fire without falling apart, then I would just have to fight with my eyes closed. My eyes tear from the heat.

A really dumb idea holds my head hostage. A single path forms in my head, one that would see me victorious. I don't even think. I just do it. "Fallwind. Möge der wind immer in meinem rücken sein!" Something that I thought of once, a stupid idea that Luvia promptly shot down as asinine.

"Whatever that spell was, no matter how strong you think it, you know it won't work on me..." She sounds perfectly confident, but you can't trick someone who knows you as a sister. She's nervous; I can feel it in my bones. It makes me smile. I am not a good person on the inside. I just usually have a mind of steel holding it all in check.

I'm going to charge in three seconds. If I miscast or the spell doesn't work like I think it will, I'll likely either be burnt to a crisp or be horribly injured. That won't happen, though. 'This is the only path...' She can't possibly expect that I'll simply take her strongest hit head-on. 'Alright... Now!' My eyes closed, I do two fast rolls left from the pillar, I'm most vulnerable now, but if I'm right, she won't attack because she'll think she needs to have a perfect cast, which requires at least a two-second chant.

"Enkindle (Arouse)!" Suvia loudly casts her spell, but I already made it in time.

"Vindr, aktivieren." A whisper activates the mystery that will surely decide this match. The air rapidly flows from a line in front of me and coalesces behind me, forming a massive pressure that quickly forces me forward. The last thing rational thing I see is the terrified eyes of both of them as they recognize that I'm not evading the lethal inferno. As I sapped the air from the path of the flame towards me, I suppressed it to the point that the wind forced it to join my insane charge into Suvia. Like a rocket using her spell as fuel, I fire forward.

It is an insane spell. One that is as dangerous as it gets. Air feeds fire, so I convert the air into a vacuum for but a moment. I could easily crush my lungs by converting the air into a vacuum. But whoever is more willing to die will win this bout.

"Huh- ah!?" Suvia's shock at thinking she had killed me confuses her long enough that I tackle her at an incredible speed, rolling us both across the room. Fighting all the way as the tension of the ground slows us down, neither of us recognises pain as our bodies are equally crushed, burned, and cut. My hair is tinged.

We roll and roll while fighting all the same.

Stopping fully with her on top of me, she rips at my hair with a deranged look in her eyes. I try to do the same, but when I pull on one of her braids, a whole patch falls off like ash. When she sees that, I think she lost the last vestige of rational thought. She loved her hair. "I won't lose to you! I won't lose you!" Even her screaming sounded contradictory. I try to capitalize on her insanity by moving for a kimura lock, but she does something I didn't expect. She simply rolled off of me, leaving her position of power. "I know all your games, Katarina." She saw right through me. Even if I could trick her with an insane stunt, I still couldn't win off that.

If I let her get away, she'll cast at me again, and I already used my single trump card, but fighting her in close standup combat was where she was most skilled. 'I think-' In my hesitation, while getting myself up, she propelled at me, delivering the choice for me in the form of a punch.

Driving my face in with a jab, she moved directly into a spinning back kick, but that allowed me to catch it, pushing her forward in another tackle with me on top. I wasn't moving consciously anymore; a strange instinct inside me started to take over as if it recognized the danger. An instinct of coming closer to death.

But as we go down, she wraps her arms around my neck, placing a guillotine choke on me that I can barely mitigate with my waning strength. My reinforcement failed from the loss of blood and the unconventional spell earlier. 'Aghhh!' I put my feet back and, with strength that simply should be there, suplexed her, throwing her onto her back behind me in a desperate method of escape.

'Who knew, Luvia's pro wrestling obsession might have been useful after all.' Yet by the time I was back up, completely exhausted, she was there, waiting for me as if I hadn't just slammed her onto her back.

Like an axe murderer, she came at me relentlessly, so fast that I could only respond with my fists. A left jab hits on my cheek, but I avoid the big right hiding behind it. Moving closer, Suvia's eyes reflect a passion I couldn't muster. If anything, my whole body started feeling distant and light.

I try and jab at her while moving away, but she just comes again with a flurry, She chops my neck and knees me in the solar plexus, but I'm still barely able to avoid the right knockout blow.

The room was dark now. The two of us were the only ones with colour left; shadows danced at the edge of my vision. They circled our frantic battle as if they were waiting for one of us to fall so they could feed on their remains. 'At this rate... I'm done for.' I move in to grapple, but she doesn't allow a single second to initiate, pounding into me with a three-punch flurry before hitting with a crunching leg kick.

Limping back, I can hardly keep myself standing, Again she kicks on the same leg, and I'm left to focus my entire willpower on staying standing. Yet that leaves me completely open to attack, smashing my chin again and finishing me with a rib-rattling spin kick, collapsing my body to the ground.

Track 06 (Music) /viDXSNJmWZ0

My body was done, I couldn't win with that anymore, but my soul still had some fight in it. When adrenaline runs out, your soul is what burns next.

Standing over my broken body, breathing heavily, Suvia spoke instead of finishing me, "Hah, hah, it's over, Katarina... Hah, you won't remember me, but I did this for you. The weak have no place in this world, so I will save you from it now that your usefulness has reached its end. Luvia, where are you!? End the match already!" In the decisive moment, when she could have ended the fight and killed me or at least knocked me out entirely… but she chose instead to retain her humanity.

That was her unfortunate mistake. 'How much is too much sacrifice? If you give up everything in order not to lose anything, what's the point?' if only I had retained the ability for rational thought to stop myself from giving in. 'Help... me.' I quit fighting against the shadows. In fact, I invited them to come. 'I'll let you in…' A whirlpool that has me in the middle. They responded by staining the world in black, with my body growing senseless. No longer in control, I stood up, shambling towards my distracted victim. She never stood a chance. The match didn't end because of a flashy move or complex spell.

It ended because one of the participants had given up their humanity before the other. Suvia's instincts were panicking, but looking for Luvia had duped her at the last critical moment, "Luvia! Get over here alre- Aghhhh!" I wrapped my arm around her neck and flipped her to the ground, yet this time I allowed no counter. My fingers were sharp like claws, and I felt that my teeth wanted to grind on her bones.

Mercilessly I enveloped her into an anaconda choke, strangling her between her own shoulder and neck. 'Kill her!' The shadows screamed in chorus. My arms tightened around her throat, and her eyes begged me to stop, desperate to breathe, but I wouldn't stop. As I stared into her flickering eyes, I could see my own reflected back: two pitch-black abysses. I could only see the abyss now, and it was looking back at me with enticing eyes.

She passed out, yet I didn't stop; I had given myself to an impulse that would accept nothing less than murder. "It's over, Katarina! You win!" Another prey tried to pull me off, but I had no intention of letting go.

'Stop it!' A troublesome part of me wanted me to stop, weakening me enough that the prey could separate us. I had no real energy left, after all. Another few moments and she would have succumbed, but as the pain started to return to my body, that thought began to terrify me. Luvia broke my hold. Suvia was out cold, and as I looked on at her, I followed, the shadows unsatisfied after being denied their due.

---

This Illusion (piano ver. (Music)) /tcnmWGyOOPA

When I came to, I felt horrible. It was more visceral pain than even after the fire. My sides had been burned, my skin preserved by reinforcement and protective clothing. Nevertheless, it still stung. My head felt really foggy, but I vaguely understood that I had won, somehow.

"I actually did it...? but... how?"

I couldn't recall what had happened in detail... I think I lost control of myself during the fight; the presence of fire was presumably enough to make me go berserk. How long have I been out? This room has an advanced healing boundary field, so I very slowly getting better.

Someone was crying near me, "I'm sorry..." Suvia was crying not so far away. The iron smell of blood filled the room.

It was dark. No one else was there. We were left there as if to die. "Why are you crying, Suvia?" My voice came out as a hoarse murmur, barely moving through the wind. She was laid out near me, but I didn't have the energy to even look at her.

"I failed… I failed Mother, and I failed Luvia, and I failed you." We no longer had any capacity for deceit, the thick veil that magi are expected to have shattered with our bones. I had never really hated her; I simply was unable to understand her dislike for me. But now, I think that I may actually agree with her.

"Do I really make you so sad? I guess... I think you may have been right; I should probably leave this place. I exist to satisfy your wish." I had fought so hard to win, to find acceptance, but I wasn't sure that I deserved it anymore. Why was I struggling to stay in a place where I didn't belong? It broke my heart to say but running away seemed so much easier than taking on my issues head-on. I felt tainted, Impure. I think that I really was going to kill her if Luvia didn't stop me. Where is she anyway? "...I don't want to be in your way, so I'll ask moth- Mrs Edelfelt... to take me away from here. I don't want to be here if it gets in your way."

"No! That's not it at all! You can't do that now!" Her facade broken, and she started saying something I would never have expected to hear.

"Why not? Didn't you say it yourself? I'm just a waste of space around here, impeding on the growth of the actual important people." I tried to appear nonchalant, but I only achieved sounding spiteful, though I was mostly mad at myself.

"When did I ever say that?" She sounded confused by my accusation.

"I saw you and Mom in the hall..."

"I don't know what you are talking about." She said with a soft voice. I slowly turned my body so I could judge her lying face. My eyes were always a pretty reliable judge of character. I gazed deeply at her as if to judge and... and... There was no lie. There was fear, there was anger, but no true wickedness. She was not guilty of what I had accused her of, but that's impossible. That didn't calm me down at all. It just made me more annoyed. 'If Suvia wasn't the one who was there, then... no...' I didn't want to acknowledge something like this.

"It must have been you in the hall; Mother called you by name after all! You were saying all sorts of bad things about… me." The two facts came into conflict with one another. Either Suvia could deceive my eyes, or someone else had been in the hall with mom; there is only a single other person it could even be. 'Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.' I see how it is. This is the true nature of Magi. "Why the bullying then? I've always wanted to get along with you." Her eyes seemed sad hearing that.

"You don't understand, do you? You were still a peasant, and I wished to see what true nature you could have. Could you soon ascend as an equal of nobility, or will you never be anything more than you are now? I wanted to give you the chance to leave. I thought you were too kind to be a Magus. I was mistaken. …I couldn't stop myself from being… jealous of you. You have a choice, and you get all the attention."

'The bullying, the vicious words, all that was her being jealous of me? I can't believe that!' I didn't feel so righteous anymore; I was just confused about everything that I understood. It was more than just that, for I couldn't claim that I was not at fault somehow. "The words... I know they were... hurtful, but every time I wanted to stop, Mom and Luvia told me to continue, to pester them more and more. So I took on my role, willingly hurting you to see if you could stand up for yourself. I won't apologise anymore for what I did, but… I regret how it ended up. You're not weak at all."

"Then we're both dumb… Dancing to her strings." Luvia had orchestrated all of this to test me. She told me just enough truth that I accepted it readily, believing she was actually generous when in reality, she had pushed me into a corner and controlled all of my exits. Trick that had been in front of me the entire time. Luvia was manipulating Suvia just as much as she had done to me, or was it Mother working through Luvia? We had been manipulated into a fabricated rivalry, and I had nearly killed her for it. All to gauge and force out our hidden potential.

'To be a noble is to stand above everyone else,' Henrietta said. I had been hiding for so long, that she must have felt it was time to force me into the light. By the common sense of normal people, it was cruel. By the common sense of Magi, it was normal and generous. So… I can't be angry at it. Every time Suvia pestered one of my weaknesses, I fixed it.

Luvia will be an excellent magus one day, even willing to sacrifice her own family in order to push into greater heights… But what about Luvia, the person underneath? Where will she go? What would you have done if you really did hurt your family like that? But in a way, it meant Luvia trusted me and Suvia enough she was willing to push us this hard.

"Hah, Yeah… I forgive you, Suvia. I forgive you too, Luvia." it made me smile a little. It all felt so small now.

"Then…" Suvia's voice cracked. "What now?"

"Friends?" I held out my hand as if create a new beginning to our relationship. I was sure that it would work this time.

"No..." My heart dropped, and my head started feeling light in sheer defeat. It was almost so bad that I didn't hear her continue. "Friends is not correct. ...How about sisters instead?"

And she took my gashed hand into her own, smearing each other's dry blood onto one another. We are one and the same. "Yeah... I'd like that." I wonder why I can't help but accept. Like a moth, I follow the bluebird without thinking. Sisters, even if Suvia can be spiteful and greedy, she is still my sibling now.

We were eventually picked up by servants and were brought to the infirmary building. We shared the room, but we didn't talk. There wasn't much else to say. We accepted one another, even if what I am is not what she thinks.

Only the nurses came to see us; it was like we had both been discarded. I think I know why, though; Luvia probably hates me after what happened at the end of the fight. I can only make it out vaguely, but I am disgusted by what I have become. What I am now is merely a coat that could fall off at any time if I gave myself away again. Without Nii-san, this was inevitable.

Two days later, the nurse told Suvia to report to Mother. Two hours after that, she came for me.

---

*Two Days Later*

The End of Reminiscence (Music) /YJhC70dPN2Y

The walk to Mother's study didn't take long, though I felt a little light-headed being up for the first time in two days. I sit in front of her in a comfortable chair marked exclusively for me; next to me are the chairs only for Luvia and Suvia.

But they aren't here right now. "How are you feeling? The nurses tell me you didn't want to accept any treatment." She had a face that could appear very kind, yet she often sounded stern.

It left you guessing what her true nature was. The answer was that she was a magus, so both were true. "It is fine, Mother... I just... didn't want to heal faster than Suvia did..." I didn't tell her that I felt like I deserved the pain. Already an awkward silence held between us, and a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach ate away at me.

"Is it not uncomfortable for you to call me that?"

Huh? she changed the subject entirely. "Call you what?"

"You had a mother once... a real mother. Is it not strange to call someone else the same title?" Why bring it up now... It's been like this for a while...

"I don't know... Mom, she, and everyone else, they are gone now... Sometime soon, I will have lived here longer than I did in Japan. I think then, I can't even be called Japanese anymore. She toldm e to live with you, so I think she would be happy with it." I put my head down and pondered about the future.

"That is food to hear. For a Magus, there will be much that will be left unsaid. You will have to learn to enjoy the subtle parts of life. You can spend as much money as you want, have a mansion of your own and gain as many servants as wish for, but there is an elusive value beyond that which is far more valuable than all the riches of the world could give you. We Efelfelts may have more in our storehouse than a hundred ordinary Magus families, yet it is not a matter of greed. It is a matter of matching the value that this house deserves to what is in reality. This means there can be no rest, no stop in taking more of what our nature demands."

"What is that? Sut-ill-tee?"

"It's sub-tle-ty, Katarina… I see that it is not a lesson that I could teach you. Both you and your sisters will understand quickly when you make your debut into the Association. It must be subtle to you, yet clear to everyone else. You will be forged into a noble yourself from now on, so you will come to see and appreciate your superiority."

"..." She silently walked up in front of me, towering over my slim sitting form. She hadn't much aged a day since the day she had whisked me away from all that horribleness. When Luvia is her age, I wonder if they'll look the same.

"'I can be your mother, but I cannot treat you fully as a daughter.' Do you remember I said that to you once?"

"Err, I think so?" A long time ago...

"The Edelfelts are different from other Magi. We have far more contributors and vassal families reliant on our support. We even have the ability to grant our Magic Crest to sisters. It is such that now, your initial usefulness has reached its end. Your house has been put under my control, and I don't even need you here anymore just for that." Her words hit me hard. Was the fight not enough?

"Why did you raise me then…? If I am a nuisance, then... I would be fine going off if that would make you happy." It was hard to say, but it was true. If leaving could help them all, then I would do it, even if it meant losing everything all over again.

"Haha... Katarina that is the last time I will tolerate you saying such a thing in this household. I forgive you now, considering that I did lead you on to believe that, but if you continue to value yourself so lowly, then maybe I should consider such a course of action after all. Do not provoke a predator by demonstrating your fear of them, it only makes their urge to dominate kick in."

"No! I won't repeat it, I swear." She seemed to enjoy seeing me flustered.

"Haha, you are an easily influenced young girl. But, I think that's why we all like you so much. Naivete and foreignness are usually not acceptable, but for you, I shall allow it if only to show that with time it can be stamped out."

"Suvia, though, she said... she loved me, but she never showed it before..."

"Hmm... The difference between love and hate is not as far as you think. One can love conflict, yet all they can do to show it, is destroy."

"So... you hurt someone because you love them? I'd never do that."

"You'll understand one day. Jealousy amongst Magi, there is no more dangerous feeling. If we had allowed Suvia to go on all alone forever seething about you and Luvia getting along so well, it would have eventually broken the Edelfelt family in half. It would not be the first time that has happened, unfortunately. Though, it is usually over a man and not a woman." She composed her nostalgia. "Nevertheless, Katarina. he has accepted you now, but until she finally comes clean about how she really feels, don't expect her to stop pestering you. You will have to remain strong if you don't wish for her to seek to dominate you."

"Yes... we already spoke." Did Suvia not tell her?

"Oh, did you?"

"Well... we agreed that going forward, we would be sisters."

"Did you? Hohoho. That's great news! It moves my new plan forwards smoothly." though her smile seemed a bit forced or perhaps crooked. It kind of made me mad, so I said something I probably should have kept to myself.

"She also said that you and Luvia were the ones that kept telling her to bully me..." Her smile waned, but she didn't seem surprised

"That's an interesting thing to hear. Do you think it was wrong of Luvia to do? She was adamant that you were worth the effort and the scheming. Luvia is such an honest girl, and yet she was too bashful to do it directly. She likes you too much to be directly critical to you like that, but it seems you have your own ideas about it." It was Luvia's idea!?

"Well... I understand why... if it is to make me stronger, I can take it. But still…"

She nodded happily, "If you are hurt by her, then hurt her back. That is how you show your true strength. I'm proud of your resolve." But still, did it have to be so... deceitful?

"But... are children supposed to be treated like test subjects?" The question seemed to amuse her.

"Hoho, did you read that in one of your little books? The answer is yes if it means we can push the limits of what our house is capable of. In this world of Magi, each generation must be an improvement on the last. An ancient family like our own must push itself to greater limits in order to keep the level of noble in this changing world. We used to be kings and dukes, but now that is no longer attainable or even necessary. Pain is temporary, Katarina. What you can achieve, though, could be permanent. If you don't want to be hurt, then walk away now and never return. Otherwise, I will show you how much power you really can have."

"I do want to be strong..."

She rubs my head. "Good girl. I know it's hard now, but when you've made it through and grown up, then you will be thankful that I made you strong now before you faced a serious challenge in the real world. I am not so good with children, so I can not wait to see you as you prepare to enter into the Clock Tower."

Clock Tower. The place where the most magical knowledge is held, the best teachers of magic reside and the headquarters of the Association of Magi.

"Are real-world fights at the Clock Tower as hard as the one I had with Suvia?' If I had to do that all the time, I don't think I'd last very long.

"No, no, real-world grown-up fights between older Magi are far, far more destructive and incredible than what you two did. Though considering your ages, you both showed incredible strength. You could likely overwhelm a second-rate Magus is you tried at this point." But wait... how would she know?

"Did you... see the fight?" a cold sweat dripped down my back.

"Oh, yes, I was in the observation deck. Did you notice that the lights were on?" I did see that I recalled.

"You... saw... what I did?" the question was inevitable; it wasn't a gloat but a resignation.

"What? when you performed that peculiar spell or when you won? Quite ingenious of you, it would have required extraordinary mathematical calculation in your mind." Oh, yeah, I forgot I did perform a pretty absurd spell then.

I was sad and embarrassed, "Well, I kind of lost it when she knocked me down." The fact that I fell unconscious not long after that

Her eyes were that of a magus' not of a mother's. "Yes, that was quite impressive. Now what do you remember, anything strange then?" Of course, if anyone knew what that was, it would be Henrietta.

"Hmm, well, I started seeing some strange shadows, I think... and then my eyes felt weird and... I don't really remember anything past that." When she heard me speak of my eyes, it seemed as if an electrical shock went through her body, as if she had understood something very suddenly.

"Something wrong, Mother?" She looked deep in thought.

"Your... eyes, is it? Have you... do you ever see strange things? When you cast a spell, do you feel the energizing in your eyes?" What are you talking about…? Of course, I do.

"You mean like during the fight? Hmm, once in a while, I guess, but that's normal, right?" She brought her hand to her face and sighed. A bad look came to her face slowly.

"I'm sorry, Katarina, I've been such a poor mother for you. Hohohoho, I didn't check you for one of the most obvious things; we'll have to do that later." She took out her notes and, with a long quill, wrote in large type: 'Perform Mystic Eye exam on Katarina!'. Hmm, I wonder what that means. My eyes are fine, they see lots of things. She was smiling fully. A greedy smile like she had struck gold.

After that, she got engrossed in writing for a while, forgetting that I'm even there. But I don't mind; I get to look around her study. It has all sorts of cool drawings, old books, and even ceremonial knives from all sorts of places. Most of them were taken from other magi Families as compensation for a contract; the Edelfelt directly created only a few. There was even a short Japanese sword behind her desk. I wonder where she found that? When she finally remembered I was here, she said something that shocked me.

"Listen, Katarina. I've decided to adopt you fully. Since your usefulness has ended as a Saijo, I have deemed you even better as an Edelfelt." Huh?

"Adopt me... fully?"

"Yes, I've decided that you are far too valuable just to be an ally of ours when you grow up. So instead, I want you to join the family as a sworn sister of Luvia and Suvia." My heart skipped a beat as I was offered something that I secretly desired.

"...I-I don't... know, what about Mom and Dad? and Shirou, could I still see them in Heaven when I die?" My first thoughts were jumbled; giving up my name was much to ask for.

Mom didn't take that comment seriously. "You can keep Saijo as your middle name. Of course, your heritage will live on with you as well as your Magic Crest, for it is far too valuable to simply let go. It's just that you will be a true representative of the Edelfelts." I was so nervous now that I didn't know what to say...

"Then... well, err, can I think about it?" Slight disappointment escaped her veil.

"Hmph, if you were anyone else, I would be offended that you didn't take the offer immediately, but I will allow this once. First, however, I want you to consider it fully and come to me with your decision, understand?"

"Yes, M-Mother." I was a bit shook.

"Now off to bed with you. You can go back to your room now if you feel alright."

"Oh-h.. yes, Mother, have a good night!" I waved at her as I left the study. She seemed satisfied seeing me off to my room.

In the halls, dark clouds kept the world cool and dark, even in the late summer. Despite that, the hall mirror outside my room presented my reflection. The conversation gave me much to think about, and mirrors had a way of bringing me to a sense of... calmness maybe? or perhaps rightness was the correct description.

All this recent stress made me satisfied to bask in it. The girl who looked back was the girl I wanted to be, taller, more beautiful, as strong as Luvia, and fast as Suvia. Yet never more, I'm not selfish enough to ever think of surpassing either of them. I just want someone to follow... I've always been the youngest, so it's kind of natural that I ended up this way. In that way, I'm happy to be subordinate to them, to help them succeed before myself.

The mirror shined with a long-gone sight. Two boys and a girl ran across the park with loving gave of their Mother, keeping them company keeping them safe. I was a follower then... However, when the gaze left, even for a moment... only the girl remained... covered in the blood of her brothers. One brother and sister remained. Black hair and a vision of a happy world. A selfish wish that kills. A forged memory.

'No!' the repressed memory resurfaced and threatened to end me. I held my head as visceral images flickered through my mind threatening me the return of what would shred everything that I've built to bits. My body sweats, and my heartbeat was like a drum in my head...

Forget... forget...forget...'There is no place for this within me! Take it away, please!' Normally a human would only reinforce a memory that they specifically wished to forget but... for me, It all whisked away, flowing into the mirror, hopefully never to return. But If I were so lucky, I would never have had to confront it in the first place. 'Huh, what was I thinking about again?' My wish was granted.

Right, I think I understood only then what it all meant, what she had done and was still doing. It wasn't just a way to get me and Suvianna and me to get along, and it wasn't just a way for me to push past what I thought were my limits. It was a test. Mother wanted to see how far I would go to keep up.

I wasn't particularly smart; Luvia had that skill of getting her way and knew more about the Magic association than many real Magi probably do. Suvia had book smarts and could easily beat any of us at chess. Then there's me... I don't really know what I can do, to be honest. I'll just have to make up for it somehow; I must have something if Mom wants to make me actually an official daughter. Even if I am cursed, I will help them, I will make this family succeed, and I will do it with my own two hands.

This sort of... brooding was could do right. The mirror always got me this way... showing me things that weren't really there, presenting something beyond myself. That was my greatest intelligence, I guess. I had an affinity for epiphany. I'm good at math too, but that didn't rhyme in my head.

Orderly things I could do, humour I could not. Things that I can control, so they won't run away.

'See Katarina? Not so stupid, are you?' Nii-san's voice seemed to reverberate in the distance. Even if I was blind to do much of what is true, I was confident in my ability to read other people. I can read what they wish for and then make it come true that's what I'm good at.

That's why I understood. Mother looked at me with the care of a mama bear but also with the greed of a dragon. It was those two feelings that met within her and came to a compromise. She wanted to have me as a daughter and as a tool. I wasn't opposed to that. I am a tool at the end of the day.

I need to come to terms with Luvia; whether I apologize or she does, I can't just let my best friend keep away from me; I wouldn't be able to handle it. With that thought, I entered my room and fell asleep, my position in the Edelfelt residence hopefully secure.

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Author's notes.

This chapter is deeply rewritten from what it once was I am happier with it now. It fits better with the later works of Luvia and Katarina, and serves to intro in the western Magical world.

Reviews are appreciated.