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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.
Act One, Interlude Two: Magus.
July 5, 1997
Edelfelt Estate, Island of Väisälänsaari, Finland.
Witching Hour (Music) /EQC0DcXFxvE
Loneliness is a bitter chill that bites through the thickest coats. No matter how much heat was allowed into the room, I was simply left cold. Mom is busy and told us to study by ourselves. I think Luvia's avoiding Suvia and me, and I... well, we almost just killed one another, so I think we should have some space between us for a while.
Though I think Suvia and I like each other more now than we did before, still... we just need some time to come down from that. So... I'm lonely. I sat around in isolation for about a week under the excuse of recuperating. Even though I was pouting and waiting for someone to come by and talk to me... no one ended up coming. The servants aren't even let in the building I have a room in, so it's been a week of readings all alone.
It's then, when no one is looking I think of myself, and who I am. With no one to confide in, I think of the one person I once did. Nii-san would have talked to me. Maybe other kids would have made an imaginary friend out of their dead siblings... but I don't do that.
It's because I know magic, as I know that to summon the spirit of the dead is almost impossible, especially since a child's soul is still weak. Its lack of connection to the world means it slips away easily. So I can't just pretend when I know the truth of it. I do like to sit and talk to my hand mirror as if it is some sort of portal to the land of the dead, but I don't receive any answer.
So it's not really all that fun. What I really want to do is talk to a living friend. Luvia's my best friend, my only friend. But... I'm nervous to talk to her. Because I know it's selfish to continue this way. It's a one-sided relationship, as I am somewhat of a leech. But... like the leech I am... I eventually break and start searching for the warmth of fellowship.
It's painful to leave a safe place of your own accord... But I have to do it. What else will I be leaving behind by walking out these doors? Mom, Dad, and my brothers? I can't do that... as much as I wish I could forget... that would be wrong. I made a promise to Mommy before she went quiet that I'd be strong, that I wouldn't let that happen to anyone else. But... do I have to be Katarina Saijo to do that? 'No... you don't.' My answer comes as a whisper from myself.
Yes. If the thing she existed for does not exist, then change is not only allowed but necessary. I'm not her anymore, so why keep the name? Why not be Katarina Edelfelt? I... will forget those happy days... but that's fine. Power is what matters. Magic protects you from all the bad things. You can't be sad if you have that...
A name can change. Not always do you go through life as the same person: you change. The old you dies so that the new you can be real and be happy. If only I didn't already know how that would end… I open the doors and begin my search. To give my answer to the girl who needs to hear it.
It's a huge castle that holds few people. I can't even fathom that we don't have the largest one in Europe, but Henrietta is always building new stuff in order to fix that. There is one in Germany that I've heard Mom rant about being bigger before. So it takes a little while to look around it all. But the wind can guide you to what you seek if you know how to ask. I find her alone, sitting in the lake rotunda away from the mansion.
I look at her from far off for a while, still nervous. Even from here feels... a bit harsher than she was before. A girl in a blue dress, blonde hair in twin tails. The twins are nearly identical, but you can see the differences if you know them. Luvia is a little taller for one as if to signify her status as the big sister. She is growing a little faster.
She pulls off her noble appearance without fail every morning, even if there is no one to appreciate it. I try to do the same, but it's harder for me to care. She has never even known the life I had, with playgrounds and playing. But it's cold here. You can't play as you could in Japan. All that matters is power, but that's not bad. It's better than losing your whole family.
Yet still...
She looks lonely to me, even if she doesn't know it herself. Sitting out here, just staring into the lake, is she sad? I've never seen Luvia sad; she tends to be angry if she's frustrated but never sad.
This Illusion (Music) /tcnmWGyOOPA
I can't stand still anymore, "Luvia..." A whisper that carries in the cold wind. I've moved behind her without even thinking. She probably knew I was there the whole time. Turning to face me, she looked like it wasn't a surprise to see me.
"Katarina..." She seemed... to be in a cold mood. "How was your talk with Mother?" That was almost a week ago...
"It was... good..." What can I say to her? The resolve remains, but I'm not smart enough to say the words.
She went back to looking into the wind coming off the water. Cold wind doesn't bother me, but I do sense coolness. I don't like that.
She speaks up after a little while, "Do you know what the seventh head of Edelfelt did when she delivered triplets instead of twins?" And says something strange.
"...No. Adoption like me?"
"No... she drowned the youngest. In the end, she went mad with guilt and built all these rotundas as memorials, asking forgiveness to the lake." I... never knew that.
"Why didn't she just leave her for adoption to some other family?"
"And allow some other family to have access to the blood of the Edelfelt? No, these rotundas serve as a reminder."
'...' I feel even worse now. It was a sad story. I couldn't believe anyone would take away a piece of their own family willingly.
"What is the reminder?" That's like a clock or something, right?
"The reminder that the Edelfelt blood matters more than any single person." Luvia always trying to talk like an adult. It gives me a headache, but I'm used to it.
They would sacrifice rather than give up an inch of their power, even knowing that such a thing would eat you from the inside. There are no children in the Edelfelt family, only supreme magi in training. That's something Mother told me when I first got here.
"...I see..." I... don't know, I was born as a peasant. I don't really understand why it's all so important, but I don't say that.
Luvia toned up her voice and sounded older than she was, "When I accept the Magic Crest of the Edelfelt, I will become something greater than just a girl. The likes and dislikes of some little girl don't mean anything to that."
"Okay...?" I knew that from the start. It's the same for me.
"Don't you see, Katarina? I'm about to become powerful, so I can't bother with peasants anymore. Even if you are housed here, and we grew up together, you're still not nobility... I've gotten all I need out of you." She said that, facing away from me.
"... Okay." It hurts me to listen to, but I'll take it. I won't cry, no matter what. I won't. I will move on. "But I'm not going to be a peasant anymore."
"...Huh?" Her visage seemed to crack for a moment; the wind brought sparkles to her eyes. "What do you mean?"
My oldest sister is troublesome... she is too smart for her own good, I think. But don't think you can trick me. "I won't tell you unless you tell me what's wrong in a way I can understand."
"..." She closed her eyes for a second and seemed to make a decision. She shook her head. "Fine... This is the real me... I'm a magus at heart, Katarina. I am the soon head of this family." We were both not even teens. If only she could have met someone lively like Shirou, then she would understand.
"And when I showed you Shoujo manga? When we talked way past curfew? When I got Ilmarinen to smuggle a radio in so, we could listen to pro wrestling?" You were happy. I was happy. We didn't need all the magic stuff in the way. You can enjoy life for what it is.
It was the only thing that ever healed me and the burns I live with. Magic didn't do that... you did... So how could that be fake?
"...That was a lie, all a test for Mom. It was a test of my ability to deceive, control, and teach someone. It was a test on you to see what possible value you could give to the Edelfelt family."
It was... a test, on both of us. That wasn't bad... Mom just wanted to push us a little. I had already heard it from Mom, but I didn't know that Luvia knew from the beginning. "And yet... you were happy doing it..." I shook my head. Mom might have told her to do something like that, but Luvia did the rest. "... It doesn't matter what you say. To me, it was real."
The old me would have stomped on the ground and demanded her to agree. Maybe it was the resolve I showed at that moment, but it seems that her stone face had issues opposing me.
"...You were seeing things, you... you wish to believe that." She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than me. Where did the confident Luvia go? The one that was invincible?
I refuse to believe I ever have anything on her, not really. It's only a temporary mistake on her part she has to fix, then she's back to being the best.
"You don't have to be some... other person, Luvia." I can't just let you let her go! The girl I know... she is real. Why doesn't she see that?
And then she said something difficult, "...What would you have me do then!?" Her teeth were clenched, and she looked at me like I was just like I was: a crybaby.
No... I'm not that anymore... I'll show you! The anger did startle me, but I was also happy to see it. But the question led me to feel very bad all of a sudden. All the stress I was keeping in started to escape and take hold of me.
The girl that is my perfect big sister is asking me for my opinion... but... I'm a follower... I don't have any good ideas. Since I was born, I've always gotten what I want by crying about it. Am I'm just doing the same now? I cried with Luka and Shirou... and I cried when I first made it here with Luvia and Suvia... And now, as it was looking like I was going to lose her, am I just going to cry about it?
No. If I can say something, anything... that might be enough... "...I think... you could be both. I like you best when you smile, so I think that as a magus you should be smiling too."
"...Both?" She wasn't sure what I was talking about. "What do you mean?"
"Yeah. It is your future to be the head of the Edelfelt family... but don't kill the happy girl in you to do that... Find a way to do both." Be hot and cold. For me...at least. "Wouldn't that be true perfection? The way that only you could pull off?"
Don't leave me alone. She went silent and massaged her knees; it looked like she had started to notice how cold she really was. She looked at the wooden ground. "...How would you know that I even have those sorts of feelings? I am beyond such trifles." She still resisted me, with a matter at least.
You underestimate me, Luvia. I'm a younger sister, my skill in watching what my older siblings do is all I really have... I know some things you wouldn't want me to say. So don't say I didn't hold back on you... "To be honest, Luvia, I don't like the wrestling... yet whenever I came back to my room, it always happened to be on that radio station."
"...!" Her face betrayed a true hint of emotion for the first time I saw her here. Even her already red cheeks became redder, but I don't think that was from the cold.
Luvia was a closet pro-wrestling fanatic. To say it out loud would be a disgrace on the nobility of the family. a true peasants' sport. Was that really what the girl she claims to be thinks is fitting for her status? Neither of us was a normal human child. We are magi, something said to deviate from humanity itself.
"Pretending isn't wrong, Sis... Sometimes... I think pretending can be ok..." Like playing with dolls... what's with that? "If you pretend long enough, then eventually it becomes more real than truth. That's something I remember someone saying to me a long time ago."
She heard my words and nodded as seriously as she could. "Hmm… I'm cold... show me what you can do about that." Her eyes watched me. It was bitter words, but I wouldn't disappoint.
"Oh. Then Let me help you..." I closed my eyes and imagined the mirror shattering inside my mind. "Vindr, fliehe vor diesem zauberer!" Power courses from my body, controlling the mana in the air. I can feel the flow of it inside me.
I am an engine. Now convert that energy into the wind! So I expel the cold wind from the rotunda protecting the natural solar warmth within, warming us up like a greenhouse.
Similar to a bounded field but much more inefficient.
Only by using my affinity for the wind element can I keep it up. I can't hold it for more than ten minutes without breaking it, though.
Luvia had an unimpressed face. "Hmph, I could have done that..." She still moaned out in complaint.
She could have, but I think she wanted to see me do it. "You wouldn't waste yourself like that. I know I'm useless without you to help me, so let me do the things that are below you..." I am used to the muck of living low. She doesn't ever need to learn that. The only reason I can even keep up at all is that Luvia forces me forward. She pulls me when I would have certainly stagnated and died without her.
She flipped her hair. "Hmm... I don't need any more maids." She said nonchalantly, dismissing me more. I smile, though. She really has no idea...
...That I'm not just that weak girl, there is a resolve in me that reaches her. "...I will look after you from now... whether you like it or not." I can live for the wishes of others but not much for my own. My goal is past her. She is an obstacle... Save all the girls and boys, Katarina... do it for Mommy... Elza's voice echoed in my head. Her wish was the great one that pushed me forward even now.
To honour them... I must forsake them... I will become something other. "Ehh? you can't do that! I can kick you out once I'm head!" She finally resembled a kid. She could feel it, too, then, that she had fewer and fewer openings to get her way.
"Why not? Who says I can't?" I was making her frustrated with me, I dislike conflict in general, but I never shy away from it if I think it is a good tactic.
"I do, As the future head!" She saw me as someone under her, but that didn't have to be true anymore. I had an option I could take.
"Nuh-uh, future means you don't have that yet!" I sounded like I was back in the playground.
"Even if I see you as a younger sister, you are still just a guest here; I have hierarchy over you." She smiled, thinking she had won once and for all.
But then I told her why she was wrong... "That's not going to be true from now on."
"Huh? what!?" The sombre mood had long crossed into one of pseudo-anger. She acted angrily, but I could tell she was actually having fun.
She likes a fight and hates those that shy away from it. So I'll fight her, even if it's impossible to win. I couldn't just leave her alone... And I don't want to be alone either. So... "Mom offered to adopt me fully. I'm gonna say yes. Otherwise, who will look after my hopeless bis sister?" It was the right decision in my heart.
After a long silence, she seemed confused. "...Huh?" Did she not hear me?
"I will be your sister, so you can't stop me until you become head."
"...W-What?" The face she had... it was conflicted. I couldn't tell how she felt. Maybe it was everything all at once.
But if there is even a trace of happiness in there... then I'm right to do this. "We're sisters, so you can't escape me. Here..." I hold out my hand to help her up. "Can't we go to my room like we used to? I don't care what you want to be like... I'll do whatever you want... even if it's wrestling or boring things."
Her face lit up for a second. "Really!?-" Then she caught herself. "Oh, Ahem, Err, you will rue this day, Katarina... I won't make it easy for you!" She grabbed my hand and then slapped it off. As if to remember that she was supposed to be angry, she stomped off. I felt... warmer now.
(Music Stop.)
I definitely have a troublesome sister... She will need someone to look after those feelings. I was feeling better now too. The big weight of what I was going to do was now resolved. I used her as an excuse to do it, but I don't regret it.
In my mind, I was already Katarina Edelfelt... that is who I am now. I was binding myself to her. So I returned to my room, confident in keeping my door a little open. Waiting to see if the girl will come or not. So ended the month when I nearly killed my adopted sister and realized what my sisters were really like. We changed in each other's reflections, but we didn't change ourselves. The next month though... I should have known that becoming an Edelfelt would turn out to be much harder than I thought...
Whirlpool of fate 2 (Music) /9KUsrEuFg-E
Apparently, adoption amongst magi is so common that when reading books such as A Short Compendium of magical Families or The magical Family since 1300, there are more families that at some point lost their heir and had to adopt than there are families with an unbroken line to their founder.
These old texts are such a pain that these small facts are the only thing keeping me sane. The truth is... I don't really like to read all that much. I prefer being outdoors and running about. But that is not what I am doing. I am ten now, so I'm not allowed to do whatever I want. "Urgh!" I moan in frustration to the empty library within the Edelfelt mansion. It's in the old building, which I think is the prettiest.
For the small number of maids trusted to be here, it is always kept really well. I'm the only one who even comes in here... Since we study together in a special room for magic training, there's no reason to be in this place directly.
So it's just me who is trying to figure this out. It's a search for a single ritual, yet it's difficult to the point of crying. It would be tolerable if these scripts were full of useful knowledge, but unfortunately, most of what is written is either obsolete or literally worthless. And I mean literally... there are entire pages set up to waste the time of the reader in order to encode the secrets of the book better.
Luckily, most of those pages are marked by previous readers but still... I'm trying to find something obscure, so I have to check everything. It's the writer's self-importance to think that their book would be that important that really gets me. In reality, these books are pretty worthless nowadays. It's all common knowledge. At least for those families strong enough to be at the Clock Tower at all.
Yet, these are the only books that would possibly have adoption rituals described in them. And nothing is there... why? The issue is that books in the world of magic are different from normal ones; they are far more valuable. Since magic is a battle of knowledge, rare books are some of the most valuable objects there are. Most books have ended up becoming common knowledge, thus making them not really important. They still have lots of stuff in them we have to read, but no one like Mom is going around looking for them.
The Magic Association will contract out the job of finding them. That usually ends up in the hand of Mother at some point, and she'll go and get it using any means necessary. She's pretty strong.
The Enforcement Bureau is usually too busy to deal with those sorts of jobs, so they leave Mom alone. Even if technically she is stealing their work. I think they should be thanking her.
It is the same as the... err, what's it called... yes, the 'Sealing Designation.' The people in London want it to keep it safe... or just all to themselves. They are taken somewhere deep in that place and keep it safe. Nothing I have read really tells me much about where that is.
The other people don't really do that... Like, err, Atlas... Atlas doesn't put as much effort into that. They seem to care about the future more than the past. Some books say that they're not even considered magi, but I think that those people are just jealous of them. But... I don't think they're any better... all the mentions of the alchemists of Atlas say that they're even more arrogant than the Clock Tower. So I don't like them either. I like nice people.
Mom actually got one of those cool books once but didn't even peek at it. When we asked why not, she told us, "A contract is a contract... but only amongst magi. Bend the rules all you want, but never, ever break them." ...So, never break the rules, it can turn out to be really bad.
Magi are weird; if you find a legitimate loophole and abuse it, It would be considered the contractor's fault then. Then you would gain the reputation of a good mage with a good sight. Fit for... le-gal.. studies? Whatever that means. Laws in magic sounds stupid to me. But I guess the law is better than freedom, for otherwise bad things would happen a lot. Outright break a single line of a contract, and you may find yourself in association custody, punished for breaking the fragile stability kept by the Department of Law. Or have the contract cause your own magic to turn on you as retaliation.
Contracts like that are old and weird by today's standards, but Henrietta insisted that she would only accept me into the family if I could find the traditional ceremony of adoption. I think she was stalling to set up the right paperwork and wanted to keep me busy. "That is just how a magus is…"
She asks an outrageous thing like that so that I will understand that that is what is expected of me in the future. Unreasonable expectations, that is. Books that were written in old English and old German, or god forbid, old Russian. It's not the magic that is the most difficult part of becoming a true magus. It's all the other stuff you have to deal with in order to learn it. Magic is there, waiting for you... but since it is unnatural, it takes a lot of searching to find it.
It's a testament to the intense obsession with secrecy that magi have, that even knowledge without a real normal use is kept hidden beneath several lays of all sorts of tricks. But, anyway... the reason I'm looking is that I have to find it: The way that I can become closer than just some normal adopted child.
...Stupid... such a thing is just... no good will come of it, I swear. But she is my teacher and mother, so I obey. "Katarina, I am overjoyed that you will accept. Now, why don't you find the proper ceremony for this?" She gave all of the work to me, and now I'm trying to find it.
It's my final test, and it's not hard on paper... in reality, it's impossible. Nobody ever talks right in magic. It's all weird riddles. That's why the Clock Tower is good because they help to solve the riddle and teach everyone. I hope it's not as bad as I've read and heard. I mean, why don't I just go then? I really should go if I want to get something like this...
With a smile (Music) /p0qsibX7UWU
Mother was right. Katarina is more useful than she appears. She just required someone like me to find it. This exercise was not enjoyable for me, but it was necessary. When Mother originally told me that I would have to look after a girl my age and help to teach her magic, all while being perfectly diplomatic, I was a bit troubled. Of course, I didn't voice my anger towards Mother, that would be bad, but I did stomp about while she was picking up the girl. But looking back on those three years, it really wasn't too hard.
It proved easy, she didn't really hide how she felt, so it wasn't too hard. Everything I said was true. I simply left out all the parts that made me look bad. I don't consider that wrong, and I am proud that Katarina didn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. Three heirs bearing the same name: all adorned with Magical Crests of our own. That dream is something that most families would scoff at and tell you impossible; these families think they are nobility.
The worst type of magus is the one that has inferior skill yet still acts as if they are a first-class magus. All they can do is destroy magic with their inferiority. That's why I like Katarina. She knows her place and is trying to improve despite that.
There are some degenerate groups in history, like Yggdmillennia, who took in anything that moved. But they destroyed themselves in the end. The alternative is a negative for us all. I don't know what Mom really likes in her so much... sure... I like her too... but we need to think about family first! Yes, it requires my careful care to bring her up.
"Haha…" I guess it's not so bad either... Japanese wrestling is pretty impressive, but I digress. She is clueless in a cute sort of way. It's a simple fact to be accepted and rectified. She is a fair learner, however. A fair learner, in the family of a natural genius... Her potential is a tier below both Suvianna and mine. No matter how far she applies herself, she will only achieve the level of second-class in skill. But that is not necessarily all bad. Incorporating her into our family would be an impossibility otherwise.
If she was better than me at anything about being a magus, then she could not be accepted under me. That applies to everyone, from Mother and Father, to Suvia and to all magi. It's a matter of being better while still looking this good. There's no point to victory if you come out of each fight with newly exposed weaknesses. I can see it in her too. She would rather live in my shadow. It's something I'm preparing for as the next head of the Edelfelt house.
We never knew that she would end up becoming as dear to us as she has. Her abilities are also too great for a simple servant of the house. But... letting her join like this... She will become one of us and will never be able to leave that. Why doesn't she care about that? What is that strange look I see her have in the corner of my eyes when she thinks no one is looking? It's almost unsettling.
The fact that she came from a family that was young but not unknown maybe make it easy for her to forget her old one. She is strong enough that Mother deems her a worthy adoption. We are a family of merit, at the end of the day. However, we are not like Norwich. We do have family pride and purity. We don't adopt left and right at first sight of talent. Nor are we Trambelio, with his ten daughters: adopted and natural. Even if we are allies on paper, I can't help but see that as a bit base.
I am... nobility. I can't just let something hurt my ability to be that... no matter what it is. But... isn't that my problem...? What if I am the one that needs to change? "... That's impossible." I realize I just have to be perfect. That's what I've been doing all along, after all.
There is no need to change... and I think that she saw that too. So I go back to the reading Mom gave me on gems, a fascinating topic. The quiet radio in my room commentating on some recent local professional wrestling matches. My blood pumped as they slammed one another to the ground or made each other submit.
...It is all faking, of course. Pro wrestling is a juvenile peasant sport not fit for an elegant noble like me. I just have to keep up with it to understand normal people better... that's all. After finishing my reading material, I would end up trying wrestling moves on my bed. I can be myself, but only by myself.
One day Mother came to my room with a gift. It was one I actually saw in her study once before. Something from home. A sword with a single-edged side: a katana. Unbelievably sharp and unblemished, despite having an apparently aged dignity. It was about as long as up to my shoulder... which was not saying much. It made me a little scared...
She pointed at a small inscription on the metal: 朧. "What does that mean? I am unfamiliar with that Kanji." Mom confessed. She was probably testing how well I was keeping up in languages. Considering I was expected to learn German, Finnish, and English on top of Japanese, it's not uncommon for her to switch languages suddenly to familiarize us. Luvia and Suvia were learning a bunch more than me, though. Apparently, you learn languages faster as a kid than an adult, something like how we are still growing or something...
I was happy to answer since I rarely was given a question in the language I was actually good with.
朧: The kanji for... 'Oboro' A pretty one, a little hard, though.
'Hmm... which one is that... yes... moonlight, right?' It could mean something else entirely, though. Japanese can be a tricky language like that. "Oboro Muramasa," I spoke clearly. The words came to me naturally.
Confused, she looked the inscription over again and said, "I see the kanji 'Oboro.' But I don't see anything saying Muramasa. I'm not that familiar with Japanese, though." She looked intrigued at the sword and me.
I realized I had added an extra word for some reason, "No, sorry, it was just a slip of the tongue." Ugh, and I was about to get something right for once too... Muramasa... why did you say that...?
"I see... Keep up your language studies. Even if you were born Japanese, it would be a shame if you were to forget it entirely. Even the language of the orient could be useful one day." She admonished me. All mistakes in speech are careless and dishonour your house. Imagine messing up in an important conversation because you can't talk right. That would be so disgraceful...
"Yes, of course." Languages were an important skill, considering the international work that we do in this family. I was lucky that Luvia was excited to learn Japanese to the point that she pushed to my level pretty fast and pulled Suvia and me on her frantic path of learning.
"Well, consider it a gift of sorts. It's your right, after all. It was the only thing I found in the remains of your destroyed home. It has some tiny magic to it. I don't really know much of Eastern magic, it could be an aged mystic code, and I wouldn't even be able to understand it. It's best in the hands of the one meant to use it." She handed the sword to me. Her hands held it wrong, and that irked me.
This was in the house...? And it was fine? Even as the world was melted around it, it came out perfect? Mystic code... a magic device? But a sword was not right for that sort of thing. It gave me a bad feeling. Agh... It dropped into my hands. It was heavier than it appeared. It's a shorter sword than some other types of blades, but I'm still too small to carry it. "You never told me about this..."
"Your mother offered everything of hers to me if I took you in. It was my right to have."
She said that like it was the simplest thing in the world. Henrietta was someone that believed in the equivalent exchange. She talks about it all the time. So I knew she wasn't being mean or anything. My adopted mother was that sort of person.
'...' I understood that it was a great deal. It's just that a trace of me thinks that it was my right to have this, that it ought to be mine. The natural part of my blood pumps my head. It was the thin blood I had gained back then.
But to her, this could be seen as a heartfelt gift. So I calmed myself down and took it that way. "Thank you... Mother. I humbly accept your gift to me." I curtsey to her.
"It's fine, Katarina. We have so many relics in this house anyway... Make use of it in the way that you see fit, as you are it's only natural holder.." Considering how many magi have met their end at the hand of the Edelfelt, I completely believed her that it was one in a stack of old artifacts.
"Yes, Mother." I bowed to her by instinct.
Something has definitely changed now. The childhood of Katarina Saijo was over. You can't act like a kid if you are a magus. The sword was something like a Magic Crest, even as I still did not have one. It was the connection to some past that I had. That was the mindset I took on. It was the mindset all true magi had to take, to allow who you are to die, in order to push yourself to the limit.
So that old me did die that day... or at least was sent into a long hibernation. I was selfish enough that I didn't want the real Luvia to go away... but... For me... I did the same thing... I was a hypocrite from when I was born. I was born in blood, and so it was not surprising that the same tendency would repeat over and over.
All that was left was the nostalgia of that blade on my wall—a reminder of some connection to a place far away. As if he had gifted it to me. I couldn't say no to that then. I can't say that I think of Japan as a place I miss. All those memories are tainted red now. I sometimes fall into the trap of pretending it all never happened at all. But that's to forget why I am doing this in the first place. It is a disgrace to try and forget who I am and what I live for. Even if that is not there.
I can't say if I will train with the blade, but if I do, I feel that it does not allow one to hold back. It will take you past your limits, only to destroy both yourself and the opponent.
All the books in our library... a month or so of reading... and nothing.
Not a single page about powerful adoption magic. Only little references to something like it that made it seem like it existed but was just not explained. It was that which made it worse! If there were nothing, then I would tell Mother that... and she would figure it out.. or something. But I wasn't allowed to give up... and I needed to do this before I inherited our Magic Circuits. I don't know when that is, but Mom keeps saying 'soon.'
...Is she waiting for me? Am I holding Luvia back? And so... this leads to a brave move. "Mother... can I come too?" Luvia's eyes looked like they would explode.
"...Hmmm, and why do you want that...?" I couldn't just say that I was having issues reading right... but maybe I'd say the right way?
"I think that there is some... possible reading material that could be interesting," I said it, all adult-like. Mom smiled at me for that.
Mom was flippant on the outside but calculated on the inside. "...Sounds fine to me. Ready your items for tomorrow."
"Mother... I'm not sure that..." Luvia protested by pulling on Mom's sleeve. But she shut her down.
"Enough, Luvia. Why not bring your soon-to-be little sister on the trip? You two used to be so close. What happened?" Mom said, laughing a little. She knew exactly what happened...
"Hmph..." Luvia pouted.
That leads to the three of us going to London, leaving Suvia with the servants. Suvia said she didn't want to go. She did seem to have more like for home than Luvia or I. Lucia because she wanted to see the world, and me because I was not much of a fan of the cold. And so I entered the Clock Tower for the first time.
First of all, It was... disappointing... all the cool areas were off-limits to kids. And all the really cool areas, even Mom can't go there. You can't even see them either because it's underground! It was basically just like a doctor's office reception. With no one there to let you in... Of course, it could only be accessed by those that knew the way, which required a skill in magic.
I need to get to the Library. Mom and Suvia left on their own. They were doing something themselves. "I have a few chores to do, and Luvia should be there in order to experience something first-hand. Why don't you find what you are looking for in the meantime?"
"Won't I get lost…? How can I find a book like that in a place this confusing…?" The Clock Tower was not one building. It was a series of buildings littered all over London, built in a purposely incoherent way to ward from normal people.
"Getting lost can be most of the fun. You are an Edelfelt in training, not a baby. You have to find it yourself and seize it without mercy. Or else you are simply not fit to be Luviagelita's sister. Now, off with you and do not return until you find success."
Mother and Luvia disappeared. They really just left me all alone in this place. Surrounded by people who were known to kidnap children and experiment on them. I didn't cry, though, even though I felt like I should. Instead, I started to move and started looking. No one stopped me. So I started to look for the book, mustering my confidence to act as if I belonged in such a dark place.
If it's not here, then it's not anywhere. Or this knowledge is just out of reach. There was no security... no one was stupid enough to try anything here, not even me. I could feel it. The Bounded Fields here were on the same level as home but over an even bigger area. As long as I keep my guard up, then I will be known as a magi, young yet still with a bite.
All the people I crossed were too busy even to notice me. Just stay under the radar. C'mon, Katarina. You've been trained in stealth... Mom really did show us once how to disappear without magic. It's pretty cool. Just... blend into people's eyes and act confident. If they think you have a good reason to be there. Then they won't even ask why you are here. But... it seemed to work too well. I just kept going with no library in sight. Where are the books? I went round and round the halls, all connected and pushing further and further. Few people showed up as I went. This place wasn't for children. However, for those who tended to fall into bad places, it was among the worst.
So I became so lost that I didn't think I would ever find a way out. I found no library. I don't think I was in the right building from the start. I wasted at least four hours doing that. I was... hopelessly lost, and there was no one to ask for help. You never know what they might do to me...
My eyes started to water, but I held my eyes shut so tightly it hurt. Alright... calm down. The tears are almost here now, and they won't stop once they start. I'll be completely disgraced. What do I do!? What do I do!? Even if I found the Library now... I wouldn't have time to find and read any books. I'm done for... What can I do...?
...Then, something in the corner of my eye caught me.
Whisper of darkness (Music) /9V2ohFtiYV0
It was a big mirror, nothing special to it really. The hall was empty, and it was suddenly cold. No one came to this hall, I realized. How come I found myself here? It was a nice mirror. I like mirrors, but I don't like my reflection. But this mirror was all wrong. It was like looking down at the lake. Your body is all distorted. Flowing with the waves. But... a mirror isn't supposed to do that... 'What's with this?' the mirror seemed to lack form. As if made from liquid.
I was next to it before I noticed. And so... When I moved my hand onto the glass, I suddenly felt faint. Blood pooled in my head, and my whole body started pulsing. Dizziness took over, and I did felt like I might pass right out. Uhhhhhhhh. I'm going to throw up...
My hand flew off the mirror so fast that my already dizzy and disoriented body began to sway. I felt like if I held on any further, my whole body would just disintegrate. Of course, I fell in the most unlucky of directions. 'Uh oh.' My body froze, and my eyes shut as I fell towards the glass for what felt like forever... but no shatter ever came.
I just sat there in shock for a time, but as my body came down from shock, I recovered enough to open my eyes. What I saw was someplace else. There were... dolls and stuff everywhere. This is… Uh oh. Uh oh, you really did it this time Katarina... Not much chance of getting out of this... I'm in a workshop. The place that a magus protects over all others.
Where I was was not where I had been -no, it would have been preferable that I had just shattered my body on the glass than find myself in this sort of place.
Then a voice came at me from behind, paralyzing me. "And what is a young Japanese girl like yourself doing in a place like this? Lost, are you? To fall right into my clutches so easily, it must be a cruel joke from someone unsavoury." Despite my expectations, the brownish-haired woman had a calm and cool voice. "I left Japan at a young age too. I guess that makes us quite similar then, but I was not so kind then as I am now. If it were those days, then I wouldn't have paused before turning you into my next meaningless experiment."
"Uh…" She stalked me as a predator.
"However, I never had the bad manners to intrude in another magi's work. Perhaps the times truly have changed since I left. Is it common for children to suddenly appear in the confined workshop of a magus?"
"Uh. I-I am lost! I didn't mean-"
"I see. Truly lost, are you? Or perhaps you have found yourself in the place you were trying to find? Hahaha…" She chuckled. "What do you think of this place? Be honest." She beckoned me to answer.
"W-what…?"
"The Clock Tower and its endless rows of workshops dedicated to hopeless and meaningless endeavours."
I guess I have to. "The Clock Tower? Well… Honestly... it's a little disappointing."
"How so?" She looked up with a book. She was still reading but even the corner of her eye was enough to make me feel naked under her gaze.
"I thought it would be... I don't know... a lot bigger and... maybe... levitating or something?"
"Hahahaha, It's nice to talk to someone who actually says what they think around here. Looks can be deceiving, as you know well." her cold laugh didn't make me feel better, though. Her eyes narrowed at me like a hawk. "True. The Clock Tower fails to entertain simply on appearance, but what it does have is entertaining people within. Though, that only lasts so long before it too becomes stale. That is why I preferred to stay in Mifune City for a time, but I have returned to see how London has fared without me."
"...I'm sorry. I don't really understand."
She takes a puff of smoke and blows it away. "I will warn you, though, before you learn this lesson the hard way... Don't be so honest with your feelings. A magus will just use that against you."
"Ohh... err, sorry."
"No, no. You are lucky I'm one of the few with a degree of a sense of humour around here. Some magi can't help themselves if it is such a mysterious child suddenly appearing in your room." She looked at me almost ravenously, but it went away.
"Oh." My face was melting under her gaze. She was powerful, really, really strong. Stronger than even Mom.
She looked at me. "Hmm, now that I really can see you, you have lovely red hair. Is it real?" she pulled on my hair, regarding it as a fine cloth.
"...Yes." I sheepishly answered. Real? Yes. But it was stolen. Was she going to make me into a hair monster or something...? I was terrified about that. My knees started to shake lightly.
"...Could I have a lock of it...?" My heart skipped a beat as I recalled what Luvia had trained me to do when a magus asks for a gift, always push for a reward, she says.
Holding my hips and pushing my modest chest forward, I did my best impression of Luvia, "What is your price?" A voice calm and carefully modulated, Katarina Saijo is unfit for such a negotiation... but if I can mantle Luvia for a couple of seconds, then maybe I can pull this off.
"Ohohoho, you are quite the firebrand to ask that. What you just did right here was one of the most brave or stupid things I have ever seen. Whichever it is, I can tell you are not just some normal magus. Hmm... compensation... anything you want. I don't really care." She must really like my hair. I actually like Luvia's hair more... but I wouldn't offer that or anything…
"I don't know…" Honestly, I couldn't help but feel really nice to see all those bad hair days and painful morning hair sessions with Luvia and Suvia can be validated all at once, even if that was only so I would be made into a hair monster by an evil magus.
"You seem clueless enough to really be a little girl. What is your name? Don't tell me your name is Prelati or something annoying like that?" She smiled, but it promised a quick death.
No, no! "I'm really just Katarina..." I whispered in response. My confidence was shot by her reaction. There's no way she helps me now. Would she even let me go now?
"Is that... really true?" she seemed to have calmed down.
"Yeah.." I told the truth. It was the truth because I made it so.
"Huh, I believe you. Not once have your eyes surveyed this room." she held up her glasses. "That means you're either strong enough not to care or stupid enough not to understand. Which is it?"
"Uh... I don't understand..." I was stupid.
"Hah, that's fine with me then. I do tend to enjoy my work being my own, after all. I hate people stealing from me."
"Really?" She looked at me suspiciously and surprised.
"You're really a kid, aren't you? Not some immortal being in the body of one?" ...Why would I be that? "Then..." She shook her head. "You are more interesting than I thought. To simply fall into my hands like this, well… I can't just let you out of this now, can I?"
She held me in place. Shouldn't I be going... Not unless she lets me. "Hmm… You have... hmm, nice eyes too." She looked into my eyes with some sort of magnification thing. "Just a second."
She took her glasses off, and her face turned cold.
She started muttering to herself. "But not something for me, is it? I wouldn't want what you have... Far too immature. Far too destructive. A storm that will eat its user alive. Not unlike that horrible sister of mine." Her voice sent a bad chill down my back.
I can talk adult too. "Mom said she would look at my eyes... what is the issue?"
"Quiet." She commanded me. "It's called pure eyes, kid. Think of it like your soul got all caught up in your eyes and is now connected to how you see... so you will see things that no one else can." The women cringed at simplifying for me.
"...Like Mystic Eyes...?" I know about those...
"No... it's different. For now." She shook her head. "I can't take your pure eyes from you... and you can't kill Pure Eyes forever. One of these days, they will connect with your full circuit and become magic. No- It has already crossed that line. It is just barely contained since you have not used it to its full power."
"What can I do...?"...What? That... sounds bad...
She looked conflicted at me. Then she screamed internally and reached for a pair of glasses to her side. "Grrrr, I hate to do this... here... take these." She gave me glasses to wear. "Wear these as much as possible, and you will live a normal life. Take them off and embrace it, and you will never be able to escape magic, do you understand? I can be a kind woman, can I not? I am sick of being known as the evil sister."
"Yeah..." I put them on. They didn't even do anything. But... it felt like the room lost a few shadows in the corners. That's... weird. Was the world always so colourful? Certain shadows that followed me around disappeared. It was like a greyish filter was removed. Looking into her face now, she was beautiful, but she was cold and firm like how a stone is pretty. She smelled like smoke, and there was a cigarette in her mouth. Is this... what Luvia would become..? If I'm not there for her? A nicotine-addicted weird magus?
"Thanks..." I didn't really know anything anymore. I think I wanted to go. I wasn't sure, though.
"Don't leave just yet. I still want that hair, after all."
I couldn't say no. "You can have it..." I closed my eyes and waited. She's going to make me bald. I worried.
But... "Done." She cut only three strands of it.
"That's it?" I'm alive?
"Unless you want me to take more? I won't say no." No... She stored them carefully in a box. "Your reward then... what do you want, I wonder...?" I... She put her glasses back on and became kind again.
"Another one? Ah, well..." There is one thing I really really need. "I-I really need. ...Could you help me find a book that tells me how to make me someone's sister?"
She took her glasses off again. The woman who seemed almost nice disappeared. "Are you fucking with me...?" She said a bad word. "...No...? Tell me what you mean, girl. My patience runs thin with you." Now it seemed like I was done for.
"I... was a-adopted, and they want to do a ritual to make me c-closer to them!" That's sort of pushing what Mom said, but this is what I decided on.
She shook her head, as confused as I was. "Strange... What a terrible wish. Well... if that's what you really want... Though sisterhood isn't what you think it is, though, it's nasty and competitive. Your sister will take what you really want at the last second, then steal from you over and over after that... You should kill them when you have the chance." It sounded personal.
I don't think asking about it would be good, though. Luvia is a good person. I don't care if she wanted to take everything from me, it's all hers. She started looking through all the books all over the place. It was organized chaos. She found something and threw it to me. "Here, catch." The book was big, and I staggered, catching it. "I think it was on page 312. Try reading that one. It has some interesting views on taboo magic." The name of the book was cool, much better than most. And so I did. I read of a ritual made to adopt someone. ...Have I found it, really? It was a long ritual.
"Can I take this home, please?" I begged a little. It's a perfectly fine tactic, depending on the situation.
She took a puff of her smoke. "You're a funny one. No, if they found you with that, I bet you'd not last very long after that. That would be funny, but they wouldn't take kindly to me having that either, and I'm trying to have some fun here before they try and keep me from here again. I only just arrived, after all. Well… I still have things left to do back in Japan. Mikiya and Shiki need to make money somehow, and it has not yet become interesting here. My Sealing Designation isn't worth removing just yet."
"...Ok." I don't even know what that is. "What do I do with the book then?"
"Memorize it, write inside your mind now, then write out again when you leave. Don't even try leaving with a single piece of information other than your brain. You won't make it a meter from the field without being paralyzed."
I didn't want that! "...Ok." She was warning me. Magi... really do only care about knowing stuff.
So I memorize it. In my mind, it stays intact as a concrete memory. A photo printing into my mind. It is very easy, and the woman looks at me strangely when I do it in less than a few seconds. "Interesting, you didn't even need to use memory magecraft to commit to memory. Meaning it is a trait within your natural brain. Too bad, that means I couldn't take it from you. Stay in touch, will you? You're not as boring as most in this place... Oh... and don't tell your mother about me... the Edelfeldts can be a difficult clan to deal with sometimes." She muttered.
"Okay... friends then?" She was a lot older than me. Mother always did say to make connections to possible partners in business. This is one, right?
"Hmm... Alright. I do tend to make friends from time to time, People who will interest me for a time. Be of use to me, and you will last longer." She nodded. "I enjoy my little wards as long as they amuse me."
"Goodbye, err oh, Onee-san!?" I didn't know her name, so I called her that. She felt like an older sister type.
"Wait." She held the scruff of my neck. "Call me Touko, never Onee-san. I've killed for less. Understand, kid?" The hold was on my tiny little neck. What would she do...?
"...Sorry... Touko-san..." So close... Please, no experiments.
"You can go. Just remember to stop by next time. I'm always looking for things to fight boredom." She pushed me lightly to leave. "Perhaps that's why the Mirror of Napping brought you here. It tends to be something good for me. I will have to thank Alice if she can ever return back from death. That's up to my horrible sister and her shoddy schemes, however." The mirror? That was a strange mirror, definitely. Something that almost seemed beyond normal magic.
I waved to her and left through the main door. It begged how I got into there in the first place. I really had no clue how to get out of here or where I was.
I exited the door and... found myself in the reception area... ...? What the...
It was empty, but as soon as I came in, it seemed like some others came, and it was fine.
They took one look at me and my glasses and proceeded to turn back around. '...? That's weird.'
I ended up finding Luvia not that far from there. She looked a little happy for some reason. I put the glasses in my pocket... I'll only wear them in private, I think...
She wasn't even looking at me. She was distracted. Then she said something weird, something that almost made me forget everything today. "Hey, Katarina... is Shirou a common name for Japanese boys?" She asked out of nowhere. It ruined my mood. I didn't actually know the answer, and she said no more. But she seemed to have regained a sense of the regal look that suited her.
...I really had no clue why she would say that. She seemed not to want to talk about it, though. And so our short trip to London ended.
The ritual was put into place not long after that. Luvia and Suvia fell into line after I explained how I would need their help to complete it.
Mother was proud of me and a little surprised even. She hadn't heard of such a ritual before. She said that she didn't really have that in mind when she told me to find something to bring us together. She hadn't expected me to succeed and would have somehow come to my rescue.
After all, the book that Touko had given me the ritual from was Forbidden Rituals by John Dee. A banned book by the association, but surely it was no issue to omit that little detail. Surely it would work out fine.
Earth to earth; ash to ash. Nothing begets nothing. The girl who became red will now become blonde. It is time. The power that fills me is pure magical energy from the air. My body absorbs it, which has become a circuit and transformed it into a different form of magical energy.
The body of a magus is nothing more than a circuit to connect the spiritual and the real. The result of this bond is what is known as magic. I take off the glasses that keep the world colourful. It feels like I need to be free from anything to do this. Shadows grow longer in the corners of my eyes.
…My body is burning hot. An illusion of my brain becoming a mirror, then shattering. An illusion of my skin peeling off. An illusion of a hand becoming a claw. The sensation of being underwater.
…I start to sweat. Stab! Swords are driven into my body. It is a pain of a human body reacting with magic, something it is not designed for. "...!" I nearly grunt out, but I hold it in. No point in delaying any further. It's time to bring us all together once and for all… "I proclaim: A broken tree must repair itself from the roots of another. From two lineages, only one will remain. Your ancestor becomes my own. Your soul will become my own. Our hearts beat as one, so together we will find heaven." Raw power circles in the air, creating a weak wind. "Edelfelt, most noble of houses, I render unto you as the head of the Saijo clan. I ask for only one reward. Do you accept the contract?"
"I accept, shall our blood complete this accord!" Luvia said loudly.
She brandished an old knife that had been passed down the Edelfelt line and cut into my palm, drawing blood. No hesitation at all.
Owww It was a clean-cut, but a sharp pain remained. However, when I thought of what this would achieve, it made me a little happy.
In return, I brandished the blade I received from Mother, the last heirloom of the Saijo. It is what I am. It comes from the blood that makes me. It is the blood I was born into. It's heavy for me to hold in my small hands, but Luvia's single finger helps to hold it up. Her balance was so delicate that the ultra-sharp edge didn't cut her. 'Ugh!' All of a sudden, I start to feel my blood pulsing. It's like I'm extremely thirsty for something. Blood is a strange thing, especially when something that shouldn't be there is.
"Then... the deal is reached. Evermore, shall our blood unite, bringing us... closer to heaven." I try to compose myself. I feel like I'm trying to remember the lines to a play while being shaken upside down.
Our blood shall fill... Once... Twice... Three times. Blood is so beautiful. Why hadn't I noticed before? Dizziness starts to come to me. I want to drink it. 'Drink it!' The shadows yelled out, happy, so happy.
"I drink from the chalice that contains my redemption." I take a large gulp. The flavor isn't anything great, but the surge of energy that I feel charging in my core feels... amazing. It's a surge of energy that sugar has nothing on.
A drug. Mage's blood is a known commodity in the moonlit world. It carries the raw prana that great magi collect inside themselves, making it a sharp drink. Mmmm, it's tasty... I stare into the cup again. Maybe one more sip would be okay...
Luvia's strange look in my peripheral vision shocks me into remembering what I am supposed to be doing. I start the final phrase, "May blood bind us to this accord..." I reluctantly pour the blood held in the chalice into the circle beneath us. The room lights up as the Od held inside our blood fills the circle with a flicker of visible magical energy. It is a rapid charge until it hits its maximum, I must finish it perfectly, or this delicate mystery may fall apart. One... two... release! "...and may sisterhood be my reward." My wish acted as the trigger to the mystery, blinding us all briefly as the light shone like the sun, only to flicker out like a candle a second later.
"Ah!" My hand held up to my eyes as they recovered from the burst of light. Most of the ritual was probably unnecessary, but we just went through with the entire ceremony since we couldn't tell what was important and what was not. The room smells like metal. "You didn't have to drink so much blood, Katarina... Jeez..." Suvia said under breath.
"Sorry... I was distracted..."
"I mean, my blood has so much power; it must have tasted almost good, right Katarina?" Luvia said that joking.
It did taste good... in a surprising way. "Well, nothing happened? That was dumb." Suvia complained.
True: absolutely nothing changed. "Err, we did it right, right?" I asked.
"Don't worry, I was keeping track, and it went perfectly," Luvia admitted. That meant she was actually making sure I succeeded. "An Edelfelt would never fail such an elementary ritual."
"Well, we don't know what effect it has. Maybe it takes time to show itself?" I said.
"I'm going to bed then. I'm tired." Suvia walked right out, unentertained. "I'll save the congratulations for when Katarina suddenly looks like a third twin." She joked, but there was no way to know what would happen to me.
Nothing happened, but I was now Katarina Edelfelt. I guess I can forget all about this weird episode... I made it. I am not who I was. I am new. But it doesn't change why I am and who I was born for. It was strange, though: I was thirsty, and water didn't seem to sate it.
My adopted father arrived not long after, marking the slow changes that would start happening around here. In the first place, This was why Mom was going to London, to bring him home. It requires deals to do that, which I think is sad.
We waited patiently, in full dress, I might add, in the reception hall. All this for someone that wasn't even a guest, as he was an Edelfelt too. In that way, we were both adopted members of the same family. I hoped that he would be fine with that.
Willem Van Bloemen: That is his name, the second son of the Van Bloemen family. A Dutch family. Only rising in the 1600s during the Dutch golden age. Their magic isn't that strong, but they make up for that by having a large number of connections across the business world and the botany department.
They were in the Neutral faction for a long time, but with their alliance with the renowned Edelfelt family, they became a part of the Democratic faction. A family under the protection of the Edelfelt faction. Many rely on us, but none that far away and decently powerful. We were a strong family, but still, we were not Lords. There were many smaller families that were indebted to us, and served us faithfully as servants since we support them and their growth.
Since the Archelot controls the botany department, a family in the Aristocratic faction, you would think that there would be some problem, but it seems like they get along well enough, at least on the surface. His Magical Circuits must be really good, too, if Mother was willing to marry him. The head is known as 'The Tulip Mage' and is regarded as the 'greatest flower user there is,' for whatever that is worth. It's something I want to see. It must be pretty. Wasn't Merlin the best flower mage? But I guess he was on a way different level compared to us.
We were taught this and the full history of Edelfelt to understand our roots... or not mine, but theirs. Anyways, that's why this place can sustain a great garden, even in winter. That was the dowry from their family. Apparently, the purpose of a dowry is to compensate the family that takes in a family member and takes care of them. In the mundane world, the woman's family pays, as she is the one who would be taken care of. But as Mother is the one accepting him into our family, his is the one that pays.
It was a dead concept in much of the lowborn world, but it was still considered important amongst magi. When he arrived, I noticed that he was blonde. He was tall, but Mom seemed to have a sort of control over him. He entered and greeted us, one by one. I was the first that he saw. For some reason, he spoke to me first. Probably to get it out of the way. "You are the young Katarina, I presume?" His voice was not that deep for a man. It was a bit melodious. The sort of voice that could trick you into many things.
This is the man who took on the Edelfelt name himself, the person who was effectively my 'father.' "Yes... Father." I was told to greet him as such. A man that Mother chose the best possible match-up she could arrange. I must respect that.
I remember that Mom and Dad married for love. Yet they died so horribly. Is that the outcome of that? Is it foolish to marry for anything but power? "Ohoho, I'm not sure how I feel to hear that from someone I'm only really meeting for the first time... but I will accept that." He held out his hand and shook mine, then he kissed my hand.
It was uncomfortable, but I had been taught proper etiquette, so I didn't squirm. "... Sorry," I said under my breath. I felt bad about my presence here. I wasn't his true child, after all.
"It is fine. It is not something to apologize for, you were born a peasant, and now you happen to be with us. That is something to rejoice about, isn't it?" He said kindly.
I'm not a peasant... I'd like to say, but he may not be entirely wrong. ...I am a peasant.
"Perhaps..." I put my best smile on, suppressing the feeling of anger in me.
He can probably tell that I'm a little affected.
He laughs it all off.
"Haha, It does not matter. I hope that I can look after you the best I can. Bloodlines are secondary to skill." He smiles a perfect full smile. Far too perfect for it to be real. "That is my view. Perhaps if Luvia or Suvia slack off, then I'll make you my favourite?"
I realize it then, where Luvia and Suvia really get that occasional devilish smile from. Even if he is rarely around, it seems to run in his blood.
Suvia and Luvia made angry side glances as if to know his threat against them. They were going to go extra hard now, I knew.
After that, he left me alone and started greeting his real children. They seemed to be only a bit closer to him than I was. He is almost never around, but that is changing. Luvia greeted him confidently, almost like a business partner, and Suvia was shy, but you could tell she was delighted he was home.
They were reliably opposites. Did Mother marry him for love? The answer is no, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love him now. But marriage is not about love... even for us.
New families were desperate to improve their circuits with each generation. For each family that succeeds in that, the Edelfelt, for example, there is another that falls apart in order to fuel that. That is the nature of the world. Everything must be exchanged from somewhere else, the great exchange.
The Edelfelt family is built on the strength of hundreds of failed families, just as the sunflower kills the plants beside it to shine a little bit brighter, just like I killed my family so I could survive back then. A blocked memory of that fire flashes in my head.
Mom blocked those memories, but they can still come through. She did that so I would stop crying so much. But it's not like you can't love as a magus. It's just that you can't love the wrong person. I'd like to be with someone I love... is that not what my sisters feel too? ...I don't even like anyone, though. Not that I see any boys anymore...
I wish everyone could just love each other. Then again... my family died in a fire, and Mom and Dad loved each other... So... perhaps marriage for love is a bad idea. Was that Mom's mistake? That she loved the wrong person? Didn't Henrietta tell me that Mom was wrong? I shouldn't dirty their legacy with these poor thoughts... That's not even my family anymore.
I don't have the right to feel sad. My new 'Father' is correct; I was a peasant adopted into a true, noble family, and it's something I must fully adapt to. I have nothing that I can complain about rightfully. That is just an extension of being a crybaby. They... really are good people. In that way, this is pretty much the only family that would have taken me in like this. All the other magi families I read about sound so bad compared to us.
So... The ones who died: Shirou and Luka... they were the ones who were given a dreadful fate. I was given a second chance. "Haha." I chuckle softly. For the first time, I think I can truly appreciate the beauty of this blue hall. I want to cry... but that is not allowed for a member of the Edelfelt clan. But really... The colour never seemed to come alive to me until now. Blue is a nice colour. I liked red for so long... how come I suddenly like blue?
"What are you laughing about, Katarina?" Mother's voice comes from behind. She must have noticed me, still off by myself.
"Oh, I just thought that I was lucky to be adopted by you. I was just a peasant after all," I say truthfully. "I am very grateful."
She looked at me seriously. "Hmm... I never regarded your mother as a village peasant. You may have blood that hasn't come from true nobility, but your mom had a truly noble spirit. "
Truly? ...Could I can be noble too If I had a spirit like that? "...Wow, thank you, Mother!" I said a little loudly. She seemed pleased as well.
"And... your new father... how do you see him?"
"...I think he is good... I like him." It wasn't a lie. It was my hope that it would be true.
"Good, good. I am happy to see you get along with him! it is important to learn from anyone willing to teach you, as long as they have something of merit. That is how you can unlock your true abilities as a magus." I hope he can teach me things too... "He is a good man who has done much for us."
"Yes... that is good..."
"It is... it is... Hmm, it is unfortunate, though, that you were not taught magic before coming here. Your birth mother would have been your most attuned teacher, really."
"What do you mean?" She never said that before.
"She would know how your Magic Crest works best so that when I put it on you... you could use it without effort. It will take a little longer for you to figure it out yourself, is all."
"I'll just have to work even harder."
"...Sometimes hard work won't get you what you desire, Katarina. Figure out what you are good at, and do that. Let your sisters do the rest. They all count on you and know you have what it takes." She knelt down to me... why was she so close suddenly?
"Suvia know that...? But she's..." I don't know... we have made up... "Does she... like me now...?"
"Haha, maybe your close rival would be more accurate. But sometimes rivals can be closer than friends." ...I never thought about it like that... But what can I do?
"So... you are saying I should find a... position myself, where I can be most helpful for Luvia?" She is to be the head of the house.
"Yes, just as my husband and I will. Once she becomes fifteen, Luvia will take over the position of the head from me, and I will simply be the elder. I can at least enjoy a nice retirement if you can handle it without me." I couldn't yet fathom that idea... there was still a long way to go until we could take over for Mom. Four years, that's forever from now...
But didn't I just come here three years back... That was long... but it did pass.
"...I will do that..."
"That is good to hear. Become a worthy daughter of mine. There's much you must repay us for, after all! Hahaha!" She laughed jokingly.
"Yes. Thank you, Mother." I felt better now, less like an imposter. 'She saw right through my doubts, didn't she?' "I was all worried for nothing..."
"Oh, and make sure to come to my study tomorrow. There is much that needs to be discussed." The welcoming of father died down, and after a formal dinner that I had fun with, we retired to our rooms. Sleep that night is harsh, my body is feverish, and I dream of a place so far away that I don't feel like I can make my way back.
The land of shadows.
Deep Slumber (Music) /bqWDDNFVn48
I drift into a land familiar to me, one that I live through in my dreams.
There is nothing in particular to the place... no, that's not quite right... its greatest characteristic is the lack of distinction in everything. So that makes it holistically unique, as everywhere in the world must have some differences. But that only applies to this world, not to places outside it.
Everything is the same: shadow, whether the figures that shamble about or the jagged landscape with waves impacting below. I walk amongst them. I don't know why. I should not be here; it shouldn't be allowed. And yet... I am. I stand below the great gate, where it seems that some of the shades wait for their invitation. It doesn't seem that whoever is the gatekeeper cares much.
The gatekeeper stays within the castle, waiting for something... or someone that can't come. I feel them as the only other one here. Fight. Fight. Fight. Kill, kill, kill kill kill. 'I want you to kill.' That is the wish. But contradictory to such a harsh request, it holds only a feeling of soft yearning. A wish that to them is a solace, not a grudge.
This is not a place to stay for long, lest you remain stuck here forever. A mighty wind pushes on me. I fall off the cliff and into the sea... I leave back for the land of light. That dark castle remains there, unchanging and eternal.
It is an elsewhere location, a land of shadows. I fall and fall until I crack through the edge and enter through a circle of light back to life.
(Music Stop)
Awake, my body is cold all over, numb to the bone. I don't mind, though. That's how it always is, waking back into the living world.
I look into the mirror, and to my surprise, the girl looking back seems different. There was a dry redness on the side of my lips, leaving me feeling dried out. I wasn't thirsty anymore. But more importantly, A few strands of my hair turned blond, leaving a long strip of blond in an ocean of red. It could no longer be said that I was just a Saijo anymore. It made me happy. But... A few black strands came through too…
I cut them off immediately and cried into my pillow. I'm never free. Maybe I can start enjoying life now... If only I could escape the past that won't let me go.
Author's notes.
So that's it for this update.
I was originally aiming for a triple update, but I didn't feel like having two chapters done for a while, just waiting for the next one. I'm not that patient. So Shirou in London I next.
Katarina and Luviagelita. I'm basically trying to push them in the right direction for their characters. I didn't really know how to write Luvia before, but now I think I got it.
Katarina... is a strange character. I'd say that she is sort of a combination of Sakura, Shirou, and Luvia.
I know some don't like any OC, but I think it's kind of fun. It just needs some adjusting so they can morph into the story seamlessly. Considering there is a limit to the characters written, it's up to me to fill in the blanks with the information I have.
Also, Touko was not sealing designated in canon for a while before FSN, so her being there is completely canon.
That's 100k, I don't know how I've written that much, but I have... I don't really know what to say. It doesn't feel like that much tbh, and I'm already about 20 percent of the way to 200k. There was only one time I almost have up on the story.
Katarina is not an OC. If you are reading this, then keep that in mind. The only Oc here is Henreita.
Katarina is a canonical biological sister of Shirou.
It was probably Katarina, act one, Interlude one, and it was really hard to write. And that was during finals, so I forgot about the story for like a month. Here's to me not giving up!
Honestly, it's going to take me forever to write at this pace to the holy grail war. I'm doing so much detail, but it feels like it's worth it. Once the payoff starts coming, it will change.
Reviews, favorites, and follows are so welcome. They are my fuel to write more.