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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.
Act One Finale: All the Evils of the World.
Shades flickered along the road as the last lights of the day fought to shine through the fall clouds. Voices could be heard far below the clouds; they too were cold and dark. A fateful night: one that would only occur in a distant and strange world shrouded in shadow.
A cracking voice coincided with the cry of cicadas.
"I am Zouken Matou, and I have been keeping track of you for a long time now. You wouldn't happen to know of my son's disappearance? It is unfortunate that such a thing would happen." The man, or thing, had a knowing and evil smile.
"I wouldn't know anything about that." I've been with Sakura this whole time. It is too bad that happened. Yet, I still felt nothing when thinking of that.
"It is a strange thing then that Sakura goes missing at the same time, and you bring her home now. I was worried sick, of course. What was the issue to bring her here, where she belongs?"
"She was lost; I was helping her find her way."
"Haha! After all these days? Hmph, I don't appreciate interfering in something that isn't yours, boy. Among us magic, Recompense would be demanded in this situation. Why not have dinner with us? There is much to discuss." Its smile was the worst I'd yet encountered. Mom, for how strange her smile was, it still had a love in it. This smile was broken and ugly: too far gone to ever be fixed.
I shake my head, "I'm just a kid."
"Of course, boy. Haha, You have delivered my precious granddaughter back to me undamaged. Is it not normal to break bread with your friend's family?" His voice and manner of speech was old; I disliked how he looked at me.
He said it, not thinking I would say yes. "I will come." I will face this head-on.
The soft outline of him that I could make out retreated into the shadows, "You will enter? Truly?" He narrowed his eyes at me. At least what he passed as eyes.
I could see him there, but my mind wouldn't let me look. A cold frat that told me not to look too closely at this thing.
"Yes, do you have a kitchen?"
"What does that matter?" The thing wasn't following along.
"I will cook for you."
An unhealthy breath came out of the old thing, "Hmph... What is your purpose, I wonder? To poison me?"
Of course, magi never trust anything good.
I cross my heart and make a childish promise: one for fit the playground. "I promise on my heart I would never sully a meal." I meant that:
"On your heart?" He saw my serious face and became amused, "Haha, fine. You are interesting, boy. There isn't anything that you could do anyways. I haven't had a good meal in many years, and perhaps you could show how it is done to my grandchildren." The strange and intensely cold conversation ceased, and we all entered into the equally cold home of the Matou. Though I never really saw the man very well, he always seemed to be nearby.
It was dark and musty, it seemed to be rarely cleaned, and the only source of light was very old gas lights from the olden days. It was a western house, just like Tohsaka's... maybe that's why they know each other?
'Focus, Shirou! This is not time for stray thoughts!'
Yes... no idle thoughts; I need to keep a single future in mind at all times. Create the design in your mind... then make it happen. I can't lose focus for even a second.
"It is cold here. Is it always like this, Sakura?"
"..." She didn't respond. There had not bee. a peep since we had come here, just a dead face. Zouken didn't even look at her, and only regarded me. I wouldn't squirm; if she can handle this, then I can too.
The dining room was ornately designed, but there was no intimacy. The entire house had a spirit of oppression and distance. Zouken's shadow was the only thing I could see.
"You are brave, boy. Or perhaps stupid? You come into another magi's home with no fear at all..." The thing's voice was troubled: confused as to why a little boy like me would come here. He knew not of what he let into his home.
"I am here to cook, is there not going to be a dinner?"
"Haha, then let us. If you wish to show me your ability in cooking, then I shall not take that from you."
Then a voice came down from the staircase.
"Is someone there?" Hesitantly coming down the stairs came the final actor of this evening. "Ojii-sama... Sakura?" He took on his arrogant tone, "Then you've finally decided to come back where you belong the-" It was at that moment his eyes noticed me. "Huh...Emiya...T-This boy...! He is crazy!" He pointed at me with fear and anger in his eyes.
"Silence, Shinji! You shall treat this guest with respect." Zouken commanded him.
Shinji was humiliated and was teetering towards becoming unhinged. It's only natural: his father, the presence that kept him in line, was gone. He was just a small boy, after all.
I blink.
... Aren't I supposed to be a little boy too? When did that change?
"It doesn't matter. Why don't I start making dinner? I wish to make a memorable one."
"Then do so. I would be interested in what if is you have to offer. Forgive me if I take a moment of rest." Zouken disappears into the dark house.
Sakura stayed close to me as I ignored Shinji and entered the kitchen. It was a surprisingly large supply of food. There must be some sort of service here.
It went by quickly.
Sakura was there too, but it didn't change much. Although I caught here in the corner of my eye sneaking a peek at how I put together a meal. She was still hiding inside herself.
An emotional presence was pacing nearby. Eventually, it came to confront me.
"...E-Emiya! What are you doing here?" Shinji stuttered out finally.
"I'm making you dinner."
"You..." Hints of anger cane to his voice, I wasn't even looking at him. I was bush preparing the salad.
He muttered and stomped away... but it was just for a time. A few minutes later he came back with an evil eye.
His voice was now slimy and reminded me of how he was when we met. It's a voice that promises no good. "Emiya, why don't we make up? I think that we can still be friends so... why don't I help you?" Every word is a lie.
"Alright, Shinji. I will accept you." He seemed to have calmed down.
He confused tried to 'help' me, but that mostly just was him watching me do all the work.
"You know, Emiya... You are much weirder than I thought you were..." Shinji sprinkled a sort of salt on to the plates. "Ahh well, I'm done." Sweat came down from his cheek.
"Hmm, Thanks, Shinji. You were a good friend in your own way too." He was uncomfortable with me being here. That didn't matter; I felt so cold to everything but what I needed to do. I was empty except for this act.
"Emiya... why are you like this? It used to be...I don't know. You weren't like this..." He ground his teeth.
"What do you mean?"
He shook his head, "You're an idiot. You have no clue about what the world is really like. You're just some crazy stupid kid, maybe as stupid as Sakura. I don't know how you even made it to this point." He didn't look me in the eye.
As he makes it to leave, I can sense a whiff of darkness from him.
He's right: I shouldn't have made it this far.
"Shinji, you're right. But that goes for you too; even children must face the consequences for their actions." He left, not daring to look back at me.
"Hmph..." He walks out of the room. I don't think he took that seriously. 'I think I am starting to understand then... why you can't handle to be in the company of humans.' You can't force someone to change. If only people would be good.
The plates were there, ready to be served. A picturesque meal compared to the place it was in.
I tasted it, "Hmm... tastes like salt." He messed it up, but that is not something I will interfere with. I would not stop a choice such as this.
It would be in her hands. She must tell me what she wishes.
It was a beautiful meal.
A meal that would rank as my most well crafted, but I doubt it would taste much good here. Taste is built by one's company and feelings, not by the quality of the food. So in this house, there would be no meal that could ever taste any good at all.
None of this matters. I'm just waiting for my trial. The dinner starts, and some sort of thanks are said. Maybe some words are asked and faces made, but still, I wait. I know it is coming, I can feel the tickle on my back: It's the moment that things change.
Sakura sneaks a bite, for even she was too curious to taste my cooking.
A scream finally shatters the freezing cold crushing my heart, and all the feelings I've been storing up for this moment start to
"Shinji! You idiot boy!" The thing berates Shinji.
It berates Shinji for what he has done, and for a single time, I agree with Zouken. Shinji is an idiot. But at least this marks the end of any unnecessary conversation.
Sakura was writhing on the ground, and her mouth was foaming. Her arms were scratching all across her body, from her neck down to her stomach. It was a horrible sight, and yet I felt so little seeing it. My body was still warming up too. This would be the final time, it would never ever happen again.
"Ojii-sama! See!? These fools are worthless! Do you see how I have power, do you see?" The young boy in Shinji cried out in fear and desperation as he made his plea.
Poison: I could taste it in the meal. It flowed through me, and I felt... nothing. As Sakura writhed on the ground going through intense pain, I felt nothing at all.
Is it strange that I wish I did? I wish I could feel that pain she had, then I would know how to make her feel better. Bereft of that, I can only move forward. Shinji continued to argue with his grandfather. They didn't pay much attention to me, as I silently finished the meal. I hoped that enough poison would let me feel something, but nothing came out of it.
"Worthless? They are not worthless to me. It is you that is worthless, and it seems that I can't even make use of you! I should have just adopted the Emiya boy too! What a shame that my own bloodline is now." Zouken, this thing, crushed Shinji with only words. But it was more than that, to an untrained eye, they are words... but to a magus, they are curses of the worst sort. They stab through your heart and pull it in every direction.
"It-it's not true! I am the heir, and I just need to be taught how to wield power!" He made another screechy plea, and the grandfather seemed to tire of it.
But I couldn't et it go the way that this wishes it to. "Enough, Shinji." I intervened, sitting up to end this charade.
"Emiya! But- but!" His eyes were wide. After all, he had put enough poison in the food that it should turn you into a frothing mess... I had finished the whole thing. I wouldn't dare waste a good meal, after all.
"That food was no good, Shinji. I would never make something so salty." Punishment should fit the crime. "That is something worthy of punishment."
The grandfather didn't move. He just watched with an amused smile, "Even if he is a fool, he is still my blood. I ask that you show mercy to him, Emiya-san." The thing regarded me with some sort of respect. It saw me as a magus, but that was not relevant.
I shook my head. They don't know; there were no innocents in this room.
I just... didn't want anyone to be sad. Either become nice... or die. It was far too late for that.
'Trace on. Penalty on.' Punishment and reconciliation. It all starts with shared pain; that was the greatest mercy I could give him. I see a thread in my mind, across this room, there are many strings. I connect these threads together.
Like soldering a circuit together, I solder together the thread of pain between Sakura and Shinji. I take from one and give to the other. I don't know this magic, but I perform it without even thinking about it. I will give myself away to this power tonight; its promises are too good for me.
The room is quiet, even Sakura's pain seems distant to me. There is an ocean where all is connected. I take that and kill it. I kill it all until it is blackened. I take that and pour it into the link.
A link between the nerves of Shinji and Sakura. Sakura stops writhing on the ground, she still feels the pain, but it is lessened. She would never die as long as I am here anyway.
This was not my magic, not at all; I was just passing justice in her place. I was her deliverance.
'Ahriman!' To spread pain is easy. Humans are all the same, after all.
Shinji would imagine himself being poisoned and feel it all the same, but he would not die or be injured. He was cursed to suffer the pain he dealt, it was only fair.
"Aghh! Aghh!" He writhed on the ground for a moment before holding his head and going silent into a sleep of nightmares.
He managed to sustain himself through the pain for not even ten seconds before falling unconscious, while Sakura was still struggling to stay awake and alive. How she could go on like this, I did not know. Fear, I realized. The fear that she would be alone when she woke up.
Zouken watched and had an unconcerned face as he faced his grandchildren undergoing differing degrees of torture. "Hmph, I would thank you for allowing him to live... shall we move on to the point of this meeting now?"
Yes... the desire was burning now. Kill! Destroy! It wouldn't be satisfied until it was done. It wasn't my desire, yet it held me up.
The point? There was only one purpose here, "I will free Sakura." Across the long table we faced off. Seeing him... made my stomach curl, what was I looking into? A desperation and fear strong than anything I'd ever seen.
"Hmm, that is something I cannot abide by. She is invaluable to me, you would have to take her place then."
"She must be free..."
"Then take her place boy.. You are a strong magus, you care for the girl. It should be a simple choice." Simple...
"Then... I will go."
"You would have to take her place? Hahaha!" He moved his crooked hand and a door opened between a bookcase and a clock suddenly; it was a dark stairway into a large and musky room. It was a catacomb of death. He must see me as a crazy boy, just like Shinji did. Is that what I am?
"Sen...pai no..." Sakura tried to cry out to me, but I ignore her. I know what really lies inside: the desire to see a miracle.
"Simply walk to the bottom of the stairs. You wish to save your friend, do you not? It is a simple price." It was ugly and dishonest, but I didn't care, for this was something I must do. The deal was fake, but that wasn't the point.
I must understand her pain, I must know it myself. That is the only way to know how to help her. But that is not all, for that would be meaningless if I were to find my end here.
"Sakura, all I ask is that you watch." It would be up to her, if she could not watch reality with hope in her hand; then she would never find it.
"Senpai... you...?" Her eyes sent a feeling of betrayal. 'Why? How can you just leave like this!?' Her eyes could speak it all. I send a look of steel back at her. All this hurting... I wanted it to end, I needed it to end.
For the girl who had expected betrayal from the start, this was the moment. It was the inevitable betrayal.
The thing chuckles, "Hahahahaha! What cute children. Now go, boy, enter the pit then!"
"You will keep your promise?" I looked at the things that he used to look like eyes. A lie was just another tiny sin to place on his back, but it was important to me.
He had a wicked smile, but it held nothing of the spark that could be seen within Mom's, "Of course, boy." No sane person would believe such a smile, they would run away and never look back.
Instead, I took the slow steps down to the musky and darkroom that smelt of death. "I warn you, keep your promise or face the consequences." I was not afraid, for fear is something that second-guesses a choice. There is no other path for me, so there is no fear in this. So even the worm pit could be seen without fear at that moment.
"Hahaha, you are an amusing boy. We can discuss that when you come back, everything will be fixed with this! Right, boy?" His mistake was coming to the room with me, for that was the beginning of his end. He brought Sakura to watch.
Yes, he is right—no more hesitation.
I walk down the stairs into a musky, dark, and horrible crypt. I feel them: the worms which can slowly sense me coming. They are waiting in the tunnels in the wall that go as far as into the city.
I understand these things. They are just hungry after all... A human can become like this without food too.
"Senpai..." She says it one last time. For her, it may as well be a scream from me to come back.
"Watch me, Sakura..." I whisper it and take a final step.
As they sense the most lavish sweet feast they have ever had coming to them, something writes on the ground. Or maybe it is that the ground itself is something alive? I walk into the the place and wait.
"Hahahaha! A boy who becomes lost like you have, allow me to give you what you want." The thing laughs, and the girl cries. But... she does not look away, and thus her wish shall come true.
From the ceiling, from the walls, from the ground: the worms fall upon me.
Crunch
Crack
Snap
Those rough noises are the ones that should ring out as they fall upon me. Their teeth immediately begin to cut onto me. Their wish is to feed and survive.
The crest worms attacked at all sides, at all sites. They liked the soft spots: the eyes, mouth, and armpits.
They eat men up to the boned. Simple creatures, they are, for they don't even have eyes to see. It can be said that they are nothing but teeth and a sense of smell.
They should rip out the life of a boy in moments and drink the blood to sustain their thirsts for months...
...That's how it should be...
Emiya (Music) /cUs8FEsDUZ4
Tang
Only one sound sounds out, and it is not what was expected. A metallic tang, akin to a sword being struck. Their teeth tried to rip through, and yet it shattered off.
Ting tang crack
Their teeth crack on my skin; then they shrivel and die. For the taste of my blood is no good. 'Don't bite off what you can't chew' Tohsaka said that once when she was sounding smart. I think I know what that means now. It's a stupid time to figure that out.
The worms started writhing about, and although they had no method of making noise, it seemed as if they were screaming.
"Hahahahaha...! ...Hmm?" The old thing's laughter ceased, but the girl continued to cry. He saw the contradiction: the sight that was there did not correspond to the expectation.
But the girl didn't see that and was still caught in her own nightmare.
Her eyes were open to the miraculous truth, but her weak and tired mind had now succumbed to a delusion of utter defeat... I would have bring her out of that.
She could be forgiven. Or better yet... "I kept the promise, now give her over to me." A dark voice came out from the worm pit. The worms that were there had begun to slow and eventually, they all became still.
The worms were simple beings who were attracted to magical energy like moths are to a flame. However, no one had ever taught them that the more sickly sweet food is, the worse it is for you.
"What...You, boy, what are you...?" For a time, the thing began to falter. It could smell the spectre of death looming closer and closer. It had figured its mistake a few seconds too late.
It is no time for words, I give myself away to an indefinable feeling in me. From his body came a wind. So many locusts that they warmed together as one.
A whirlwind of insects; a pestilence that would eat a human down to the bones.
"Trace on." A knife appears in my hand. A simple yet sharp blade. A speed that reality.
Whoosh
The swarm is cut wildly. Yet that is still not enough, and bugs make it through, they bite at me and die. It still hurts! Everytime I'm bit, they die, but every time I'm bit is another cut into me too.
It wouldn't be an issue if there wasn't so many of them. Hundreds fell from the ceiling and dragged themselves toward me.
I give myself away to pulsing in my head. My instincts take over, and I start moving faster and faster. Every emotion that I kept internalized these last years, every curse I layed onto myself. I will let it out now. My veins pulse and shine; I fall into instinctual murder. I swarm with a storm of blows.
KILL; MAIM; DESTROY!
If the locusts and worms wish to be a storm of hunger, then I will be a hurricane of hate awaiting them!
"Huh?" The old thing senses it finally. "It is... you are that thing, then! " He looks at Sakura and back to me? "Hahahahah!" Any facade of humanity was shed as the maniacal thing was like a moth seeing a light "Then I will turn you to my will, and my wish will be granted!" It held its hand out at me, and I felt a tug.
Like being hit by a flood of water and fight against the current to stay afloat. "...!" I fall to my knees, and my whirlwind ends. 'How? What is this?' An undodgable attack.
I can barely push back of the worms crawling across the ground. The blade in my hands falls to the ground and shatters, the bugs fall upon me but don't finish me.
(Music Stop).
"Listen to my command! " I feel a pull inside me, like a part of me is being torn out. My body loses feeling from my toes first.
It's over for me, is it not...? I can't even move as more bites slash on my skin: a death of a thousand cuts.
But victory was never the point. I just wanted to send a message. A miracle is something built on continuous and unbreakable effort. If she would just open her eyes!
If you can't even stand up for yourself, then that miracle will never come.
I look over the one who is important. I don't matter here; all that matters is how she feels. So even as I feel my body writhe as a magic rope is burning my nerves, I keep my eyes open.
What is it you have, Sakura! I peer into her soul and... I find it. Resolve. The only thing that matters; it is tiny, but that is enough.
"It is over, Boy. You fought impressively. It was futile, though. I am glad you showed yourself, for it seems that and now my wish will come true! Hahahahahahaha!" It was true; at this moment, he could probably control me. I felt my blood being pulled and swayed.
The spirit itself is under siege.
This was the Matou magic: Binding. I understood it with a glance, for it was inherently ugly magic. Its only purpose was to domineer others and control them to your will. My soul is being chained down, and I can't do anything but wait. There is something else, though... another thing that is stuck inside of me being pulled out.
I tensed my whole body and fought harder than I ever have... just so I could say the words. "Sa...kura.." As I struggled it.. it was like a coldness setting into me. I could not fight back, and I would be a pan for the rest of my days. If this was her decision, then that is fine.
"How sweet... Do you think the girl will help you? You truly are an unfortunate boy! She was not in my control! Hahaha! Of course, I knew that you were of interest, but I hadn't imagined you were such a thing! Hahahaha!" The thing had gone delirious as his wish seemed to come closer and closer.
I saw her, and as I looked into her eyes she looked away, but I couldn't let her do that... So I laughed. I laughed at the pain and suffering.
"Hahaha...ha!" I chuckle back; it is all too funny to me. What do I care? I knew and was not so good myself; I should have had faith in her from the start. That was my sin then, but I am different now. I see the value in her. Why does everyone else refuse to see it with me? "Make your decision then..."
My voice sounds different, hoarse from the blood I swallowed.
The old thing breathed in amusement. "Hmph, you still yet laugh? Perhaps you have finally given in to it then? You will do as I say from now on, and maybe I will even let you have the girl..." The thing noticed something.
It was something I saw from the start, and was telling everyone who wouldn't listen. The broken girl disappeared.
Trespassing (Music) /nXnRjzVzB4c
In its place, now stood a girl whose eyes shined with a definite feeling. Hatred. She gave herself to it, she channelled the years of it all to this once moment.
Hate is a horrible thing, only good for destruction. But... if the situation calls for that, then there is no greater power than hate. It was enough. It was enough to fill the empty and broken cup that was Matou Sakura. Waves of black could almost be seen radiating through her veins.
In binding me and pulling out the spirit that laid inside, he also drew out the demon who laid within. He wished to control it and have all his wishes granted, yet he had made a fatal error.
The old man had taken something for granted, he had thought the girl would have broken. He thought that he was fighting just one small boy. This was never a fight between him and me: it was a fight against me and Sakura, to see who could convince the other. She fought to give up, and I fought for her to stand up. Come what may, I had won.
Sakura stood up with a dark face, and the room was carpeted in a boundary field of black. It was like thin black silk being soaked into all exits. It was the end for one of us, there was no leaving. The waves took over the room and made it a prison of black. The old thing was all too confused to realize the scene. The room was a closed place, away from reality. Dreams would reign here.
"Sakura? W-what are you doing...!" The rapid loss of control in the situation was driving him into a smaller and smaller corner. The wish was so close, and yet it was encircling him now.
There was no escape for anything, for it would devour you as you attempt to leave. An ironic end for all the remaining worms as they began to frantically try to escape only to jump into their demise. They seeped into the walls of mud and were swallowed. The remainder came to the thing that was his body and barely was enough to keep up the illusion of living.
A swarm-that-walks... the clothing fell ground, and all that remained were worms and locusts. Yet still, an uncountable number.
She held her hand out.
"Ojii-sama..." Her lifeless doll eyes flickered with some intelligence for the first time since coming here. "Hihihi," She started chuckling, it grew into a burst of ravenous laughter, "Hihihihihihihi!" Her hand strayed from her sides up and slowly trailed to her chest. She no longer held any care or fear of what may come, for she had decided her path. It is a wondrous feeling to feel in control: she now knew an inkling of that.
Then...
She took her hand, as if it were a claw, and stabbed into her own heart. Despite the pain that should be or the death that ought to happen, she didn't even flinch; Sakura drew out... a worm from her own heart. Profusely bleeding, she didn't react at all. For the first time in her life, she felt a pain that she willingly took on... and she liked it. It was the sweet pain of living.
And still the thing held on, "Sakura! Y-you, you don't understand! I'm doing this for you! I would give you any wish!" When fear takes hold in a human heart for so long, this demon is the result. It would be a mercy to put an end to it.
"Hihihi, you're smaller than I thought you would be..." She laughed and crushed the weak stick thing between her fingers. But she didn't let go of it.
Feeling returned to me, and I shambled up the stairs.
The worms left in the room writhed, confused and still hungry, they seemed to see her as the tastiest thing in the room now. I needed to... erase them all at once, or at least push them back. Else they come and devour her.
I had nothing except for the flames of rage that I could come to for help. 'I wouldn't let it happen! Not here, not ever! Never again!' I wouldn't lose again!
"Trace on," something, anything! Give it to me! Even a bowl would have to due here.
I searched and searched, a second stretched into infinity. And just as the insects began to turn towards her... I saw something. Deep, and far away.
An object of pain, that was thrust out from reality. Something so unfortunate that it wasn't even allowed to truly exist.
I'll take it! I will make it real!
A jagged edge that would cut wide and shallow. I reach my hands out to grasp it, fearing not its sharp hold.
Crack
I feel the snap of something: another broken part that I will never be able to fix. Anything is worth it to follow this path, so don't need to think hard about lost.
Electricity fires through the air, and I hold cold metal tight in my hands. It hurts, all the pain that was inflicted on me, how about you feel it too!
I felt heat return to me, and I shot up, the revenge on my mind was so potent that I acted without thinking too hard. I just said the words that came to me "Verg Avesta!"
The electricity that birds inside inverts and, like a bolt, cuts everything in the room—strangely passing over Sakura entirely, as she had never caused me any pain at all.
I moved then at a speed I couldn't say, but the result was the impaling of dozens of insects. Even with hundreds of insects gone, the thing still made noise, "Aghh!" It screamed out as it was killed on all fronts.
The pain of Sakura crushing it in her small hand reverberated out, and every single locust and worm fell into the black muck that prevented their escape.
All was swallowed whole, its life drowned into the darkness and made into raw energy. I felt as if there were a tunnel between me and Sakura, where a Great river was surging from her to me.
She was looking down at the shrivelled thing that was once her grandfather.
It was... over. Deathly quiet in this place. What now? ...A bad feeling came to me. It was worse than before; it was something I didn't want to confront.
Shambling up the rest of the stone steps, I collapse as I need her. She is on her knees too.
Ever-present feeling (Music) /3L1DEvzsftw
"Sakura..."
I am holding her, but I don't remember when I started.
Her eyes are stark and red; there is a pain that goes beyond the point of living. And yet she still speaks, if softly, "I will never doubt you again... I will never doubt you again..." She repeated it over and over. Hot tears fell onto my cuts.
"I granted your wish..." And yet you cry in front of me.
'Is this... what is the point?' A hole forms in my heart. It tells me something horrible. 'You can't save anyone. There is no such thing.' No... that's...
It's not enough... it's not enough... I don't see it, where is it? How do I know if someone is saved?
It would have taken me at that moment; it would have taken us both... If not for the one who came for us. A holy light broke through the black shroud.
In a sane world, we would have both fallen asleep forever. Yet this was not such a place.
"Isn't it lovely?" Nobody said that. Yet it was said still.
"Sakura... Huh?" Someone...? Hazy... and cold...
And we were both enveloped in a warm hug, "Shirou, Sakura..." An air of joy filled the air, "What you have done for me is something I will never forget!" A woman's voice, not just any woman: my mother. I felt a tug on my heart as I saw her.
'She is... here? Isn't that... not right?'
But wait... "I-I thought you were stuck that I... couldn't save you." And yet she is here. "I-I..."
"Hush, It was the power of love, Shirou. You found your way! Isn't that so great? Love destroys all, as they say! Hahahahaha!" She laughed happily, enough that both Sakura and I could be caught up in it without having to think too hard about what she was really saying.
"Are you really... here?"
"I am. But I understand your doubt, for it is slightly true. I have been drawn out, and I exist only for a time. Unless I am given form, I will be lost forever. Wouldn't that be sad?" She said nonchalantly.
"A form? You mean..." It was... what I had worked on for years, the cursed projection of sorts. But in the end, I could never manage it. I tighten my fists, "I will do it."
Even if I'm already past my limit, this is the point I won't fail at, not this deep in. I couldn't just not
save her.
"I'm glad you think so, my son. You still wish to save her from pain, don't you?" Mom's face twisted into her usual awful smile.
"Yes... of course, I do!" I steeled my nerves. My body ached from what I had just done before this.
"So do it then, channel me into life! Let me into your every pore! I will give myself to you, so make something out of me!" And the vision of her dissipated and soaked into me, for all that she is exist in me.
I am a maker. And she has given me a bridge to an unlimited material. I feel so much power coursing through me that I know that not to use it is to disintegrate.
All the magical energy in the world... I understand that now.
It wasn't the souls of those things I killed that were to be used in the coming of Mother, for they are too ugly for her greatness. Even the tiny essence that was in the worms.
Their blood was just needed to cut a hole to the great reservoir that existed beyond the horizon where Mom was. All that was made was a pinhole, but even that can be enough.
"Can you help me here, Sakura?" As much as I hated to push her anymore, I really was having issues holding my head up.
"Yes, Senpai." I could feel her gaze not leave me. That was irrelevant; this ritual is everything to me. Her hand held my back.
"Trigger on."
A metal rod comes into being inside my back; I will burn it to its limit now. A gun goes off inside my head to start the countdown to that inevitable breaking point.
Either I succeed here, or I die in the effort. There is no good path but to this.
"Trace on." A knife appears in my hands.
An empty and meaningless knife that may very well be from the kitchen, but it is enough.
"Trigger off: Curses unlimited." Forget the off switch entirely, for your body would try to save itself.
I cut that pinhole into my hand, and blood trickles down into the burnt stone ground. Not a trace of a bug remains there.
"Senpai..." Sakura's voice has tension to it, but I ignore it. I am completely engrossed in this ritual that is coming to me all naturally.
"Make sure to count with me. I don't want to count wrong." My voice comes out cold. My mask has come off.
I draw seven circles and one hundred and eight points. Multiply that by six billion, and that is the energy required to bring this wish to life. Too much, and too many...
'I need it all!' Then compress it down to one. Greediness compels me.
All the evils of the world (Music) /CqTM-TiZQb4
Start with one hundred and eight sins.
Abuse; aggression; ambition; anger; arrogance; baseness; blasphemy; calculation; callousness; capriciousness; censoriousness; conceitedness; contempt; cruelty; cursing; debasement; deceit; deception; delusion; derision; desire for fame; dipsomania; discord; disrespect; disrespectfulness; dissatisfaction; dogmatism; dominance; eagerness for power; effrontery; egoism; enviousness; envy; excessiveness; faithlessness; falseness; furtiveness; gambling; garrulity; gluttony; greed; greed for money; grudge; hard-heartedness; hatred; haughtiness; high-handedness; hostility; humiliation; hurt; hypocrisy; ignorance; imperiousness; imposture; impudence; inattentiveness; indifference; ingratitude; insatiability; insidiousness; intolerance; intransigence; irresponsibility; jealousy; know-it-all; lack of comprehension; lecherousness; lying; malignancy; manipulation; masochism; mercilessness; negativity; obsession; obstinacy; oppression; ostentatiousness; pessimism; prejudice; presumption; pretence; pride; prodigality; quarrelsomeness; rage; rapacity; ridicule; sadism; sarcasm; seducement; self-denial; self-hatred; sexual lust; shamelessness; stinginess; stubbornness; torment; tyranny; unkindness; unruliness; unyielding; vanity; vindictiveness; violence; violent temper; voluptuousness; wrath.
Breathe in and out...
Multiply the seven cardinal: Pride; Greed; Lust; Envy; Gluttony; Wroth; Sloth.
Seven hundred fifty-six. Not nearly enough.
...Give yourself as payment.
To the world: I promise to pay for this; I promise to burden myself if I can have this in return. Allow me this exchange!
Then direct your offering. Eight hundred thousand shall be given with each.
"Penalty on."
I promise never to smile. I promise never to cry. I promise never to laugh for myself. I promise never to regret. I promise never to find friendship. I promise to clean and cook faithfully forever. I promise never to love.
Eight hundred thousand times seven times one hundred and eight.
Six billion...
Divided by one... is still six billion. Ignore the zero... for he is irrelevant. As long as I hold to this iron will, then the miracle will surely maintain itself...
"Penalty off; Composition analyze."
My eyes are closed, but I think of it all in the swirl in my mind. I see it. I must pour it into a great cup.
It is overwhelming, but every single thing must be accounted for. A cup... that is a body.
Feet of sadism and homicide; Legs of Inducement and selfishness; A torso of oppression and hurt; breasts of shamelessness and envy; arms of kidnapping and masochism; hands of rape and obsession; a neck of pretense and insidiousness; lips of disrespect and blasphemy; eyes of jealousy and lust; the hair of pride and deceit.
A soul blackened and broken. How can such a thing be reflective of her? What am I missing?
"Senpai..." her whisper is my last out as if to say: you don't have to do this.
But... this is the only path.
"Composition reinforce."
Mother is already there. She is just waiting next to me on the hill. She stands next to a sword in a stone and eyes my efforts with respect I don't think I've ever seen.
This is the hard part — replication of the material. To bring the creation out from that place and into this world. It's simple. It's already there inside me, so it only needs to be drawn out of me.
Start with the feet...
'Ah...' A throbbing pain starts in my neck. Something deeper than any of the cuts from before.
"S-senpai!" Sakura's surprise confirms that something is happening, but my eyes are closed to it. I am doing this in my mind's eye.
Now the legs and the torso...
'Aghhh!' It hurts! But I must continue!
The breasts and the arms...
Crack — something else cracks, and the pain flows out of me. I numb to it, just as I have numbed to so much else.
The hands and neck...
The pulsing injury is still there; it's just that there is nothing to translate it to pain anymore.
The lips, hair, and eyes...
A ringing rises. I should be falling unconscious about now...
The body is there, but it is just a pile of loose pieces. What holds it together?
Imitation of the original creation. Born: Germany. A wish to bring about heaven. The great mother reborn again; the attempt at another perfection. Impeccable quality with the finest attention to detail. It was a forgery itself. Despite the success: there was still a disappointment. There were imperfections.
''Let me fix those then...' I can not do what they did, no... I can do better. A body that can exist in the world, with a true purpose.
But that is where it started. Where did it end up? Sympathize with the experiences of its growth.
It started as nothing and ended as nothing... but in the middle, it found the source of it all. Marriage; love; birth; friendship; sorrow. All came to her and granted her memories but left her wanting for more. There is only love remaining, the final wish to bring it all back to the beginning.
Reproducing the accumulated years. I age it all to this reality, the skin pales, and the hairs whiten even more. Red eyes turn yellow, and hips widen slightly. It is a more dangerous and refined look. More like a mom. She grew into something other, yet she didn't die. She was just a prisoner to fate.
I understand then... that's what held her then...
The bond tightens, and the world starts to accept my creation's logic.
It feels like there is a sword inside me cutting itself out. If I opened my eyes, what would I see there? A metal taste In my mouth pushes me forward. Sakura holds my hand tight, I hadn't even noticed that. I don't fear anything as long I keep my eyes closed.
The world is beautiful if you just close your eyes. I see a river bosecting the empty plains. A mountain that holds unspeakable evil waits for me at the end.
Almost there...
Even as nausea threatens to put me to sleep, I push on. I lean into the stabbing pain, so my body won't stop.
Now... I must take all this and fuse it all. Reinforce it with every exceptional manufacturing process. A fire that burns within the greatest forge.
I hold it all in the proper position and begin to burn it in a great furnace to eliminate weakness and fuse together everything. It is just a body, so it's not like I'm burning Mom. I solder together the parts and connect it all; it is so complex that it goes beyond me. It is almost beyond this world's limits... but I keep it steady. I cool it in the waters of my blood.
The burning furnace to melt it together. The craftsmen hammer to find and eliminate weakness. The sculptor's knife cut away the ragged edges. A doll-maker's attention to beauty and detail. A refined and gorgeous look, it needs to be a true beauty, or else Dad might not like it.
Finally... the final touch that holds it together, and brought it to this moment: a love that transcends time. It burns it brighter any fire or forge and recreates the truth of it all.
A creation of humanity built with an abnormal inhuman magic.
It is... done...
'Now go to it, pour me into it!'
I stand up on shaking and pulsing legs and shamble not far to where it is. I don't open my eyes to it, for I must do this within myself.
I hug it. It is hard and cold. A metal and lifeless thing, how can I give it life? Mom is there. She hugs me on top of the hill. She slowly disappears and leaves me alone with an endless array of swords and a black river of curses. The cold thing starts to heat up, and I fall asleep, drifting into a gentle dream of a full family.
'Live... please live... I want a ...Mom.' I lose a weight I had been carrying all this time and fall over.
"Senpai...?" Sakura's incredulous voice is the last thing I hear as I drift into a long and peaceful dream.
To the Beginning (Music) /b1bXu0XZDlU
A tuff of red hair falls into my hand. His hair... I watched as tufts of his hair withered and changed to white. For such a thing to occur... that would require mana poisoning of the most severe degree. Not even I ever had that happen to me, with all the horrible things they did to me.
They wanted me to be healthy enough to be their tool, while his mother, what did she want? To be born.
I felt so overwhelmed with all the emotions that were not breaking through to my heart. The heart of stone in me was shattered completely, and I couldn't hold back the tears.
I was the only observer to watch Senpai as he created something impossible. It was clothed, but the clothes themselves were a part of it. It wasn't truly 'real'; it was something like a spirit. Learning about spirts was one of the few times I was treated fairly, for they didn't want to distract me with too much torturing. You don't make a spiritual body. You summon it, and yet he made it from scratch.
Something that is unstable should be rejected by this world and dissipate into the raw mana of air. Would Senpai even know that? He just denied that and brought this life to the world...
It is something that shouldn't be and yet is. And slowly, the thing that senpai was hugging started to crack and move. "Ahhhhh..." It yawned out as if it were waking from a long and insufficient sleep. "I am... awake?" It... or maybe she jumped up and out of Senpai's arms. She didn't seem to pay any mind to how she treated his unconscious body and let it fall back to the ground hard.
"..." I realized how weird this really all is... my life had always been a horrible and torturous joke. I was sitting with a torn dress in the place where I had been tortured for years with my grandfather, who was a worm, in my hand while I watched my only ally, Senpai, torture himself to create his insane mother. How can it come to something like this? Maybe we should have just died.
A moaning sound scared me suddenly.
"Ohhhhh..." Like a zombie rising from the dead. Irisviel moaned like that... or maybe like someone waking up. "Ahhhh, eehhhhh, ohhhhh,... Hmph... Hah, there I think I remember how to talk again."
"..." It was difficult to accept. This thing appeared from thin air.
"Now... where is my son? he deserves a great reward for what he done..." The woman noticed that it was just me here. Senpai was either dead or unconscious; he had put such a toll on his own body to save me...
"Senpai..." I pointed at him next to me.
She looked annoyed, "Just you, girl? Between the two of us, there is barely anything here at all, is there? Without your precious Senpai, who will be the valuable one here?" She started mocking me. "Hmph, for a resurrection banquet, this is all so disappointing! Where are the fountains of blood? ...Girl, when is Shirou's party?"
Party... oh, I think we forgot about that... It would be too bad if Senpai died on his birthday.
"His birthday... is tomorrow." It has been two hours since I was poisoned at dinner. I've lost so much blood too...
Oh, yeah... Why am I alive?
"Tomorrow...? see, I have yet to adjust to the normal time. You see, I really didn't want to miss the party!" She ruffled Shirou's hair on the stone ground but didn't do anything to make him more comfortable. She made a sombre face that didn't suit her, but it lasted only a moment. "To think the boy would find a way! I really did find one amazing vessel, hahahaha!"
"Is he... alive?"
"Worried? Don't bother, for he would never die as long as I watch over him. He's just sleeping, is all." He looked dead, and she didn't particularly care. Irisviel held her new body and checked all around. Even in her private parts, as if that were very important. "Everything seems intact... but of course, there is always room for improvement. Now then, shall we move on to your reward? It seems that you aren't doing so well there." She looked at my bloody body with a look that could be described as uninterested.
"Uhh, yes..." Why am I even still alive? My heart beats, but that feels sort of wrong, I did tear out a part of it after all.
"Now, let us first finish this loose end here. This pathetic creature who hurt you and my son has not received its judgment." As if in fear, the aged worm in my hand that I thought to have crushed started to wriggle again. Its stubborn desire to live was so strong it could be said that it would not die until it accepted it.
"Sakura..." The aching voice of the old man came from the crushed worm. A desperate and dying moan.
The worm cried, even without any physical way of speech. "Ojii-sama..." You are still there? Still, hanging on to this world? I couldn't even muster the energy to destroy him, I felt paralyzed from the loss of blood and the poison. Yet, I felt no pain.
"Oh, enough of that Ojii-sama crap! Don't show respect to a worm!"
"Yes... Irisviel-sama..."
"I don't like that either! I'd rather be like a cool aunt or mother to you! The one you always wished you could have but never will, hahaha!" She spoke cruel words with a happy smile. I think cruelty to her is the same as kindness. "Call me Iri-chan, I'm just a young woman like you, after all. Now, show me your hands."
My arms moved unconsciously.
The woman peered down at the worm with clear amusement.
"Oh, such ugliness... Hah, what a disappointment Humanity really is. And you, Zolgen Makiri, rank amongst the most disappointing ones. What hope I once had for you! Well, to be honest, I don't think I ever really looked at you as anything but a child, hihihi! You thought you were much cooler than you were and now look at you! Less than a decrepit old man!" She spoke cheerfully to the broken worm as it writhed about, trying to escape, but it couldn't even shake off my little hands. "Come now, do you recall the wish? Recall what you once were and how far you fell, remember the pain that pushed you down the path to becoming a lich. Remember the man you should have died as."
"A-a wish?" The worm stilled slowly, "I had a wish... a wish to live forever... No! There was something before that... we- we wanted to reach... heaven! We were going to bring happiness to everything!"
"We did. And you had such a dream with that. You were a spirited boy, ever ready to please and so zealous in the view that it would be worth it in the end. Hah, but remember what you did after?"
"I lost it! I forgot... No, please...! I can still...! I just forgot, Justeaze please, forgive me! I-I forgot...! I didn't mean to! I just... I just..." He repeated it over and over. It was the last of that stubborn youth he carried all the way until now, three hundred years of a lost dream that he couldn't give up.
I don't care, he can burn forever.
But... Irisviel had a strangely sympathetic face to the worm, "I see... the pain as you gave up the only love of your life ate you alive as you tried so hard to reach her. You forgot even the reason you were trying to live so long in the first place, you became the moth in the end. Obsessed with the flame but forgetting why in the first place... Love truly does create the most potent ugliness there is. So allow me to end that then."
"I...it was..." Ojii-sa- err, grandfather's voice began to die down. He was no longer raving. For the first time perhaps ever, you could sense something human in him. "Our dream..."
She gently took the broken worm from my hand, glanced at it one last time, and then disintegrated it entirely. It dissolved into a black liquid and dribbled to the floor. "Tasty... a deliciously horrible meal."
Zouken had truly died hundreds of years ago. It was his corpse now that she had removed. Something in me felt free, and I knew for a fact that Matou Zouken was truly gone forever. He will never return. Nothing that has even a trace of humanity in it can resist the destructiveness of this woman.
She flipped her newfound hair naturally. She really did appear as a real person. Yet her form was otherworldly.
"Now, as for you, girl... You will die." She changed topics quickly.
"I... see." Then let it end fast. I should be dead... I don't deserve to live on. My wish was not over, 'end the Matou' that included me. Nii-san lived too... did he have to die as well?
I gave him punishment, yet I thought to let him live.
"Hmm, but it is a grisly end for you, who I should be thanking... How about this, Trash? I have another option for you. It's a really good deal, don't you trust me?" Her smile was something any sane entity would suspect. It was a smile that was made out of mistrust.
"No." She had done so much for me, her, and Senpai... but this... woman, was not something I trusted.
She called as if I had made right answer, "Hihihihi! That's why I like you! You are enough like me that I hate you with every fibre of my being, but... I also think you could be quite interesting! The sweet and pointless struggle to find something to give you life value, how can I not wish to see and share in your pain? I wouldn't take that from you." Her face turned to stone as she became serious, "Here is my gift: you shall die, as I promised, but you will be reborn. You will still have that name, but with a new life comes freedom, it is there to you if you wish to find a new one. Because indeed you will be free... but..." She grinned as she prepared to tell me her price.
"..." She drew it out to make me more uncomfortable.
"You will still have a need to hold magic in you, so you will have to study of your own will." She smiled more with each word. That was all wrong... Magic enslaves you to it the more you use it. To tell me I must learn it is to chain me down, her promise of freedom is meaningless.
"You mean I have to... come here?" To do everything I have been tortured with willingly!? My anger was forced out of my defences. This was a woman who thrived at pulling out your suffering and making it worse.
"I never said what you have to study, that is up to you. But magic is what will sustain your life, so if you forsake it, you will certainly shrivel with it, but if you excel in it!? Imagine the heights you could reach, the power you could have! Don't you think people would look up to you? Be jealous of you? Or even, perhaps, fall into a deep love of you!? Hihihihi!" Always mocking, yet not always saying bad things. "Maybe you could find someone who would actually care for you, hihihihihi." It was obvious what she meant. In my real form, I was worthless; nobody would ever accept that... not even Senpai.
Senpai was alone still. I don't care for power, I don't want it... but she has given me no choice at all. Either take her offering or die. And I... I-I am too cowardly to see the end. But.. is this really the end of my pain? Shouldn't I at least give it a try? It was that hope that corrupted me; it was the hope that Senpai made me see.
"Just let your wish roll out." Her smooth and seductive words rolled over me, and for a few seconds, I felt like my heart was beating faster and faster. It was the excitement of power; I really started to think of something good happening to me. Not just removing the bad, but adding good as well!
What is it that I want? What can I live for?
"I want... I want..."
I look over to the boy on the ground. He is cold and alone. Who does he have? Everyone uses him, and nobody gives him anything... Just as I was, or... still am. I could be something if he is there. I could be important to him... I could have a purpose, and maybe even he would... accept me. I could feel... maybe.
He is more than just a boy; he saved me. He is more than human in my eyes. Even if he is covered in a black mud darker than even this hellish room, I see him only as a shining life that is above me. He deserves to be treated better than this...
I know why this woman— his peculiar mother— treats him this way, for I know that she only treats people the way that they wish to be treated. ...Senpai thinks no one should treat him well.
If that is so, and his Mom can't do that... I think he should be repaid for what he has done for me. Senpai is perfect.
"I want to live...!" For the first time in... many years, I hear the voice I kept hidden deep in the fortress of my mind. I had died years ago, so there was nothing to lose in this. I want to live again!
"Then take my gift!" The entire room, which was covered in that black boundary started to collapse. No... it was the blackness that was enclosing on me... and then...
The black ink spread across me and healed the wounds. It incinerates the bad things in me. It paints over the painful past with a black marker.
Several strands of my hair die and turn to white as the huge amount of mana coursing through me leaves its mark, but I like it. I am different now. I am free in the body... my soul will always be chained, but if I can find a proper thing to chain it to, maybe it will be okay.
This is the third time I've been born. First as a Tohsaka, then as a Matou, and now... as whatever this is?
I'm just like Senpai now. I'm like Him, and He is like me. The three of us were covered in this black mud that held us up, we three were the forgotten and the unfortunate. It was almost like there was something that held us together, like a shared consciousness of things. I don't really know... but I felt close to them.
After that, and I was reborn into my new life of possibilities, the woman spoke to me as I think a very pretty angel would.
"Do you know what his origin is?" Irisviel said suddenly, a difficult face.
"No..." An origin... it was something that held control of you for your whole life. Most origins are vague... but if you are cursed with something specific, then it is the worst knowledge to know in the world.
"Cursed and sword." She named it. "Can you believe such a thing? How would something like that even come to be? The worst part is that I'm not even entirely to blame. For if he no compatibility in the first place, then I would never have been accepted." She spoke, watching him. "Wield him, and never let him know. For if he does he will be caught in his own web of fate and will never be able to get out. I will only advise you of this once. This is how you could gain value, hollow girl."
I didn't understand... but I think that one day I will. Until then... I must stay by his side waiting to find that.
But I... could smile with the hope that I could find that freedom for both of us. Maybe we could forget these days someday, live something happy. All I had to do... was work for that myself. I would have to be a person now, whatever that means.
Two girls smiled in that dank ground of torture. They smiled over the pained unconscious boy with different expressions of happiness. A strange sense of freedom, one that occurred for those who were about to be freed from the constraints of life.
The girl would suffer more in her life, but it could never be said that it was anything but her suffering. She was alive now. It was something that she chose to take on herself, so it could not be laughed at. A fight against fate... was hopeless, but to accept it is worse. This was only the beginning; the true story starts now.
The red and black woman laughed. For that was her purpose, to laugh at the senseless cruelty of the world.
All the evils of the world was free from its prison, and its first act would be to wrap everything it held dear in its strangling clutch. "Let us sing then! A gentle song of love and misery that will bring it all back to the beginning!"
The moon ran red that night.
.
.
.
.
.
Act One End.
Authors Notes:
That really was heaven's feel all in one chapter, I think that this is more compelling than just rehashing HF or other docs where Shirou is forced to join her in the pit or something. That would never be acceptable to Shirou. Some of you may think that Zouken died too easily, but you should know that at his core he was still a human. The power of Angra Mainyu destroys humans. Only the greatest willpowers could fight through it and that's just Gilgamesh and Shirou.
As for Shinji, I think that killing him off is lazy and a big cop-out. He will be in the story still. Sakura is the only one who has the right to judge him, so his fate is tied to her own.
I guess I forgot to explain why Sakura was needed to be there, but I can do that whenever.
Shirou's origin is Cursed and Sword, or you could just say to be a cursed sword, could it have been anything else? I guess presenting it out now felt right. Of course, Shirou's origin is much deeper than just that but over time we will see what it means for him. It was important for Sakura to see Shirou as something she must follow. Sakura's origin is hollow, which is also Angra Mainyu's.
This is a high point in Shirou's pain and it should decrease from now on. He is still a kid, but his level of trauma is.. yeah, as bad as Sakura's. They need time. Shirou would look a little like his Miyu-verse version, maybe not quite as bad just yet. Sakura should have some small features from her corrupted side too, like some white strands of hair and other things she will discover over time.
Review if you like the story, favorite, and follow, and Kudos. The poll is still up too, so answer what servant you want.