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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.
Act Two: Beach Crisis
"So... how does it feel?"
"A little to the left, Ahh..." I knead her deeply. "Ah... so nice..."
"Yeah? Well, you need to keep yourself a little less tense. You are always so frantic that I'm afraid you're going to pull something."
"Whatever... It's nice..." She licked my hand as a cat would.
"Don't lick people... You don't know what sort of germs are out there. Even you can catch a cold."
Although they say that a certain group of people can't catch colds at all, I would not dare put her in that group.
She purrs like a cat. "This is true bliss... To have you all to myself for once... It feels like ever since Kiritsugu's wife appeared out of thin air, and Matou and Tohsaka both moved in, I can't walk through the house without tripping on some new girl...! I want my otouto back, the one who was mine alone!" She had certainly fallen in status from the main woman of the house to the one with rights below that of a human.
This was Irisviel's territory now, and she made the rules.
At least Taiga was adaptable.
Fuji-nee had just graduated from high school and was going to be going to the local university to become a teacher. So it's only right that I give her whatever she wants for a little while as a reward. Surprisingly, she chooses a full body massage. It wasn't that surprising since she really is an indulgent glutton at heart.
It goes on until I hear a commotion, and the door to my room slides open with force. It seems like if I go missing for any amount of time, they will search for me like an inquisitor looking for a witch. "Shirou, stop this instant!" A yell broke the peace and quiet I had built up.
"Yes, Ilya? What is it?"
"What you are doing i-is not right, Onii-chan! I will not let this go on! It is unfair! You must get away from her!"
I don't stop. "Ilya... I can't let you decide what is right and wrong. There are other people who are in need too. She said that she was in need."
"I-in need!? And it's not just me! Both Sakura and I have our reservations about this sort of thing!"
"Sakura...?" Then I see that behind Ilya, Sakura is there too inconspicuous. The two are both are suspicious types. "I see... well, as you can see, it's just a massage... Nothing weird here."
It was like milk and water from the first moment that Ilya and Taiga met. Ilya relentlessly bullies a woman much older than her, and I'd say that it is even worse than it was with Irisviel before. Although Ilya never tried to viciously murder and torture Taiga as Mom did. However, I think that they mesh together in some twisted and exceptional way.
"Shirou... don't stop... These birds are so loud..." Taiga moans beneath me; she is in her daze. I don't see what the problem is.
"...!" Ilya seemed not to be happy, though. "Stop, or there will be consequences. This is for your own good, Shirou." Her icy glare was severe. And... why was Sakura backing her up?
A sweet aroma fills the room as Ilya and Sakura both gather magic inside themselves. "Fine, fine, I'll stop. haha..." I felt a murderous air in the room, so I knew to back down. "Fuji-nee, it's time to get up."
"Ah... okay." She stretched out, and all her muscles were unbound. "That was needed, if only you'd do that all the time... And why not? Hohohoho, my little otouto will become my personal massager...!" She laughed like a yakuza.
"He's not your brother, you mangy cat! Get away from him this instant!"
"I must agree! Fujimura-san, you are being very inappropriate!" Taiga jumped out of her skin seeing that Ilya and Sakura had both come, and were both ganging up on her.
"Ah! S-Shirou...! W-when did they get here. What do they want from me!?"
"I don't know... but I don't think that they are happy."
"She is exploiting you, Shirou. First, she takes food and money, and now she is asking for physical favours. ...I think that death is fair sentencing."
Sakura smiled darkly, "I agree...! This is unforgivable."
"Hahaha... That's funny, Ilya... Sakura..." Although they weren't laughing. "But Fuji-nee and I have done this for a long time. Right, Fuji-nee? You said that this is the sort of thing a brother and a sister do on their own."
"S-Shirou insists on it! He was asking for it!" It was 80% her idea. Taiga was red admitting it as if it was a shameful thing under the glares of girls much younger than her.
I still didn't understand the issue here. Massaging an active person like Fuji-nee can prevent strains and tears, and she needs a reward, or else she'd never do anything at all. Could they be looking at it in an unsavoury way?
"It seems that I have much to rectify, for I have let you be used like this for so long. What a terrible sister I have been...! Hehe. First is to kick this mangy cat to the curb!" Ilya chased Taiga around, trying to expel her from the house. Though Taiga would always come back, and Ilya would eventually just have to learn to coexist with her.
"What was that all about?" I asked Sakura who was left behind.
She smiled softly, "It's nothing, Senpai... Fujimura-san simply needed to be reminded of her place."
...Sakura had a vicious side sometimes. I hope she isn't taking too many cues from Ilya and Irisviel. I appreciate Sakura as a calming presence... I have enough manic ones in my life.
"Oh... Alright." I had no idea it was trouble for them. ...Wait... "Is this because... you want to be masses too?"
"What!? S-Senpai...! That's not...! I mean... maybe someday b-but... I mean that would be-" I sent her into embarrassment.
When I think about doing that with Sakura all alone, I feel weak in the knees a little. "Haha. I'm just joking Sakura. I'm not as oblivious as you all think." I wouldn't massage someone my age; that would be improper. But since Fuji-nee is the way she is, I can do it without restraint. I really do worry about her getting a strain one of these days, considering her rapid movements.
"...If only that were true..."
"What was that?" She tended to mumble.
"Nothing, Senpai..." She forced a smile. "Now, shouldn't it be dinner soon? ...Is it possible that I could help?" She always asked as if it was a matter of life and death.
"Of course, you still have much to learn before I will let you cook alone. Even a day lost is one that Tohsaka may be jumping ahead of us, and that is intolerable."
"Yes, Let's show her the pain of defeat!" She agrees with me a bit too enthusiastic. Her eyes light up. She is excited to share this time with me, and the soft smile that I wish for her to have accompanies her happy response.
Light Step (Music) /jo2l9swNj-s
Sixth grade was our last year of elementary school, but they were acting like we were really moving up now. This is the first year a school council and all that stuff starts. ...Naturally, as soon as learned that I was also told to gather information on how to take control of that. Tohsaka was not exactly subtle that she wanted the power for the sake of power...
Home school is not legal apparently, but Kiritsugu talked to Raiga and cleared it all out.
...Friends are very important in life. When I imagined Ilya finally going to real school for the first time, I didn't exactly know it would turn out how it did. I thought it would be more chaotic, but it was the same as ever.
"Onii-chan, let's have lunch together. Somewhere alone. Sella made us lots of food." She appeared right at lunchtime outside my class.
"O-oh, yes. That's a good idea. Let's go right now." I was embarrassed. Even without eyes like mine, that likes to give me the unwanted emotions of my peers, I know this situation is not very good. It is deliciously curious that a girl like Ilya is here. She should be getting mobbed by everyone to look at this snow fairy.
"..." Yet everyone walked by and seemed to look away and have no interest at all.
"Ilya, why is everyone sorta... not looking at us?" As the other kids run about trying to meet up with friends for lunch, she stands there seemingly unseen.
"Oh? Onii-chan, I'm just averting their eyes.
"What...?"
"It's not that I'm invisible or anything. I'm simply putting a little impulse in their heads to look away." It was true... No one looked at us straight on.
This isn't a surprising development, all things considered.
"That ruins the point of school... You have to make friends. and talk to people."
"How come? I can hear the teacher fine. I think it actually makes it easier this way. I make sure that I'm on their little sheet of who is there, then I listen to them drone on about unimportant commoner nonsense."
"Hah..." I sigh. I don't think that Ilya could handle that full life right now. She is far too... rich? Is that the best word? She was looking at everyone like they were less than her.
"...I don't want friends. I don't need friends. I have Onii-chan! ...Am I wrong? Do I not have you?"
"No... you're right. Hah, It's fine... Jeez, I'm just nagging you..."
"Nagging? Onii-chan, that's a word that grandma's use. please don't use that word again."
"Well-"
As we walk to find somewhere to sit that she can be alone, someone greets us head-on. "Ah, Emiya-san... what is this?" A somewhat familiar boy stops and greets me. This is Ryuudou Issei, an acquaintance of mine.
"T-this girl, Emiya-san... Is she some sort of... foreigner?" His discerning eyes looked through the spell.
Ilya's appearance was foreign even in Europe. She looked like some sort of snow princess of myth.
I scramble for some answer. "She's a... exchange student. But she is nervous about that... so could you not tell anyone that I'm helping her out, Ryuudou-san?"
"Hmm, I see... I was not aware that we had any foreign students like that. Your secret is safe with me. I would not break your trust." He held himself like a little priest in training. To be entirely honest... I was surprised. He was a human with some dependability to him.
"It's nice to meet you, are you some kind of local mystic?" She had her manners and curtsied all foreign which sent Issie into a nervous breakdown almost.
"No. I follow the Buddhist path." Taiga, Kiritsugu and I sometimes went there for holidays to see the festivals. They were spiritual healers. So maybe a long time ago there was some magic, but now they are just a temple of monks and meditation.
"The temple? Oh, that temple. Yes... I know that place." It seemed that I had accidentally ridden into a soft spot of hers. I didn't know what, but I could tell by now when Ilya is feeling down on something. "Onii-chan, can we go now? I'm ready for food~" She tugged at my sleeve, making it intentionally look and feel like she was much younger than me.
"Yeah... soon..." She hugged me and made this situation intentionally awkward. She clung to me and made faces at him. "...I-is there an explanation for this, Emiya-san?"
"He's my groom!" Ilya shouted holding me tightly, but even as loud as she is only Issei seems to notice.
Issei is even more embarrassed than I am. "G-groom? like you are going to be married?" I don't think Ilya knew what that word actually meant.
"Ah... Well, she is my sister. Don't take her too seriously... I'm adopted, you see."
He looks between us and has no other recourse but to move on. "Adopted...? Hmm, yes. You may have told me that once. I apologise. I nearly thought ill of you, but I will not judge you for having a close relationship with your family. I will take my leave, Emiya-san. Just be careful not to... do anything inappropriate. Some people may misunderstand." He fixed his glasses and went off. He probably was going to the student council formation meetings, since this year was the first that a real one was being held.
I can recall, a certain raven-haired friend of mine has some ambitions there too. Hopefully, the two could get along.
"Did you see his face? Hehe."
"Why did you do that? You made it very uncomfortable for him."
She pouted and held devilish eyes. "You said that I was just an exchange student. ...Are you not proud to have me as a little sister? Do you hate me?"
"...I don't hate you! Hah, sorry... I was just trying to get out of the situation. I won't lie again." Her earnest desire for my answer made me feel actually guilty.
"Yes. Lying is no good, Shirou. Hehe. You're so easy..." I'd like to think I'm normal, it's just that she is the one who enjoys playing around with me.
I find a spot out of the way for us to have lunch alone. Usually, there are rules against leaving the school or whatever, but they didn't check.
"Why did the temple make you frown, Ilya? You've only"
"...It's just a no-good temple, Shirou. That's all there really is to it. ...It's not a place I'd like to ever go to, Shirou... Nor should you. Shirou... never go there without asking me, okay?"
"Alright, I'll take your word for it... It's a long walk anyways." ...I didn't know why she was saying that as if it was important, but I guess maybe she is not into eastern religions? She is a Christian, I guess...
Sakura and Tohsaka were presumable elsewhere or had a different lunchtime. But if that's the case... "Anyways Ilya, is this your lunchtime? Shouldn't yours be at the same time As Sakura?"
"Lunchtime? Your time is my time. Mommy told me when you would get out, so I looked for you at that time. That is lunchtime."
"..." Basically, this was not her lunchtime at all: Ilya just wanted to come out with me. Since she had no conception of normal, and she wasn't even appearing as a person to everyone else, I didn't have a good reason to say no. But...
"You can't always be invisible you know," I said after eating a sandwich that Sella had packed. Mom had put some of her miso in too, but that's best saved for last, as it's 50/50 poisoned.
She frowned as I didn't let her escape the topic. "Sure, I-I know that..."
"I trust you. I just think it would be great if someday you didn't have to fear anything here. It's your home, after all."
"Wow... You really do like to nag, Shirou."
"..." Who else will? Everyone else would not try to guide her, only spoil her. We met in some garden area in the back of the school. I was surprised no one else was here, but since the upperclassmen are in a different building, we have privacy.
"I care about you too, Shirou... Just so you know." I let her go off and do her own form of schooling.
She could handle her own pace.
The school was the same as before, but now I was seeing Ilya and Sakura at lunch and recess respectively. Sometimes Tohsaka forcibly took me somewhere and made me study with her. I couldn't rightly say no to her, so we would study in silence. What use I was to her that way, I don't know.
When I brought up lunch with her once, she blushed and got angry with me. "I have much better things to do than go to lunch with you!" It was only later that I learned that she had appeared outside of my class multiple times from some classmates looking agitated at lunch time. Though Ilya always whicked me away before Tohsaka arrived.
I worried for the day that they somehow reach me at the same time...
The school was normal and easygoing.
Issei filled the void of an occasional male friend after that. I'd say that 'friend' was a bit much to say. More of a good acquaintance to be with in the time in class. But these days I'm so busy with girls that I have no physical time or energy to for anyone else. Every moment I have to think about who would be expecting me to be there, or where I can be of the most help.
Mom tells me that she is going to make me her kind of hero whether I like it or not. The sort who worries about what's for dinner rather than what fire to put out.
I don't dislike it.
In fact... I am having fun... I can't help it, but I am. Living like this, with family and friends... it's so much fun I can't believe it's possible to be without it. Just being like that is the sort of hero she wants me to be.
She forces me to think... about what is the most right path to take. Be a hero like Dad, or have a happy family life?
Why can't I have both!?
Can a hero have no family, no love, no friendship? Isn't it a hero's job to make sure that everyone is having a happy life? Two things that can not exist with the other, truly?
She tells me yes: that is the penalty.
Kiritsugu says that choosing to save one thing is to choose not to save an other. Irisviel says that caring for justice in a world that is damned, no matter what, is pointless. Rin says that making promises to everyone will leave nobody satisfied. Luvia says it's not wrong to be a fake.
...There is no contradiction.
I will follow the single path without regret or remorse.
But...
It is time to remove this dissonance once and for all, I must make sure that the road I am taking is the best one.
The husband and wife were left all alone as the children went off to act as the kids they were. The home was now less like a prison, and more open as it should be — representing some change in the one who had remade the boundary field to her own design.
An EX ranked territory that could make any imaginary thing appear as completely real. Even in her now diminished state, it still persisted and it's only purpose was to help make a happy home. One of the strongest magics that was not seen since the age of the gods, and it was only used for that relatively small purpose. It was a testament to how much really was required for those within to enjoy their lives unmolested.
For her, lust was how she dealt her all of her uncertainties. Lust is more than sex. It is the desire to experience new things, and feel the good emotions that filled her heart while they remained.
Every moment was manic, as not to allow them to feel the silence, and as not to allow the creeping anxiety of nothingness.
Past that was a shockingly normal family. Looking after all sorts of dysfunctional children like some sort of orphanage.
And at the core of that was a man entirely unsuited to that task, and a woman who had unlimited knowledge but a complete lack of common sense.
He was busy working in his study, and she was busy thinking about how to make her family more content.
Indeed, it wasn't so much unlike any other Japanese family. ...Except for the fact that the entire situation was built on the foundations of a death and fire and innumerous human suffering that could detonate suddenly at any moment.
Other than that, fairly normal.
She was caressing his back and talking low to him. When one works studying in a dark room for what seems like days on end, it's only natural to break down. Emiya Kiritsugu was no researcher, and he quickly learned the frustrations of it. He hadn't rescued, only found, and even now, he must go about trying to save as much as he can.
The sort of man who can't calm down when there is a problem yet to be solved. What sort of thoughts would he be having? What kind of conversation occurs between these two behind the door of the room?
"What's stored within me, the vessel of the Grail, I will not give to anyone. When the Grail is filled, the one who has the privilege of owning it - it's only you, Kiritsugu. Don't you remember that promise?" That war holds only regret in me, even now. Although since I did win, somehow I now have this miracle. It means that despite everything, and despite all the corruption and mistakes... somehow she kept her vow to me.
"I remember it all... I was correct when I said the grail would turn to despair if that man touched it. ...Yet he died, and you..." That man... I knew from the moment I saw his file that there was something wrong.
She sighed. "Many that live to deserve death. And some that die to deserve life. We all have some part to play beyond what you may think. The greater the darkness of things, the more miraculous the shining light will appear. And don't think that I can't see what you truly worry about, it is not Kotomine Kirei."
As much as that man continued to trouble me, it seemed that he and I were not going to cross paths again.
...Being a husband, father, and guardian for these children. And being a magus... These things were my main problems. At this point, I feel like I am just giving Shirou money, and he is taking up on the responsibilities that parents should have. If not for the maids, then he'd be swamped but I can't deny that they are not useless. "...I am not suited for this. This entire situation is out of my element."
"It sure is. But people who do nothing but rely on the whims of fate are simply slaves. No different from a human sacrifice. Doing something like this is where true value can be found."
"Well... then help me. What can I do? I don't know what to give these kids... I am not good at research in general, nor do I have a clue about repairing a broken crest..." I am a destroyer, not a fixer. I am failing her with each wasted second. "Help me, please..."
"I am pleased to hear your words, but I would not intrude on what is your responsibility. A father protects his daughter, while a mother tempers her son. The longer you let your fears control you, the more that they will come true. Do what you can in the money you have, don't stress over something that takes time." She offered me no magical help. Is this her way of tormenting me?
Telling me to look my little girl in the eyes knowing that I can't save her. I can't do it without a solution first.
"...She doesn't wish to see me." There was a definite distance between Ilya and me that wasn't there with the rest. Emotions and memories for both of them that we're painful to confront.
"Nope, that's not true. She wants to talk to you, scream at you, curse and hug you more than anything. But she won't approach you."
"I would not hurt her. No matter what..." I would die before that. I already made that choice once, and I still feel the phantom pain of it in my chest.
"Hahahahahahaahahaha! You are an amusing man, my love. She isn't afraid of you, as she could destroy you easily enough. Yet it is exactly that that troubles her: she worries more for your sake than you think." She broke through the falsehoods effortlessly.
"..." Her laugh was always damning. There was no need for my body to be cursed when it was here in the form of my wife. If Ilya is afraid she will kill me... for the second time, then that just leaves me to be her silent protector. "She has Shirou... She is happier with him than with me. So I will focus on saving her, she doesn't need anything else but that."
"But then what is the point of saving a girl who is miserable because of you? Even if you found some amazing solution to fix her body for all time, she would deny it if it came from you. I can imagine the sweet pain of it, it's quite delicious... She may drown herself with Shirou, and he certainly pampers her, but he can't replace you. You and Shirou are not the same person, and never can be."
My knuckles clenched as I knew what the answer was. I am just too much of a coward to confront it.
"...What is it I should do then...? She won't talk to me if anyone else is there. She'll just run off to them." She would rather talk to Matou, Tohsaka, or Taiga than me.
"What a wuss you have become! She won't run away from you. Act like a father for the first time in your life!"
"I am acting like a father..." The one I knew at least. I am like him now, a recluse who barely pays attention to his own child. Treating them from a distance, appearing as if they don't even care.
"Then don't do it then. See where that leads you! People never listen to me, even when they say they love me."
Now I've stepped into a minefield. I know that I'm in the wrong. "I'll do it. Hmph, I'll go now! So don't cry please..." It is very hard to pull her out when she starts up with tears. I... really don't like to see her cry.
But she stops me from acting impulsively.
Her frown turns into a deceitful smile. "No...! I had a much better idea than that. Hehehe." With an impish smile, she took out a bikini. My heart sunk. "Don't you trust little old me?" What vile idea did she have going through her head now? Considering how long she seemed to be planning on bringing me to this anyways, I could not deny her what she wanted.
The beach it is.
Let's go Cheerfully! (Music) /rBN0Dma6AP8
Mom and Dad took me into their room and told me of their plan. They said that they wanted to go to the beach. I didn't really get it... But I didn't see any reason to say no. It's a good idea all around, if not for the smell of intrigue in the air.
They said that I was the best to ask Ilya out. Mom was clear to tell Ilya I wanted her to come with me alone...
Well... Today's weather is great, so we should take advantage of the opportunity.
Illya has been lazing on the living room floor. The TV is still on, a book is wide open on the table, and there are the remains of cake on a plate. She's actually bored out of her mind. Perfect.
"It's pretty rare to see you just idling around the house, Illya. Don't you have anything else to do today?" I didn't really have anything too important.
"Mmmm, noooope." She is looking into the wall. And so all four of us have done this pastime... "What a waste, I don't have to sleep until tonight, but I'm sooo bored... It's hot out, and there's nothing to do~" It was the weekend and school, which had actually become an interesting part of Ilya's life was off. Ilya had fun at school believe or not. Though she had yet to actually appear to the other kids.
I made sure that she has been marked as present at least. Sprawled on the floor, she starts childishly kicking her feet. "I-Illya. Hold on a minute. Ack, if you keep kicking like that, I can see..."
"Huh? Whaddya say, Shirou?"
"..." She's let herself go. She's always been somewhat of a tomboy, but it looks like the normally well-mannered Illya is so bored she's completely lost her refinement. "Okay, Illya. If you have that much free time, let's go to the beach."
"Eh?" Instantly, Illya stops her kicking. "Shirou, what did you say just now...?"
"Well, today is pretty hot for a spring day, and we did make a promise earlier, didn't we? I'm going to show you the sea. So I'm saying, let's go to the beach together."
"Y-You mean, with me...?" Who else? Everyone else seemed to be doing something at the moment. Sakura said that she was going to check up on her house, but I know she just looks at it from a distance. Mom and Dad might be around, but Mom is always pulling Kiritsugu to try some new thing with her and they go out into town all the time doing things I have no clue about.
"With you. The only ones in the living room are you and me."
"...!" The apathetic mood of the living room suddenly changes into rose-coloured ecstasy. "Let's go! Let's go! Let's absolutely go! Hooray! To the beach with Shirou on a daaaate!" Her excitement was overwhelming from how she was a moment ago.
"I-I'm happy that you're so thrilled about it. " To think it was this easy to please her. "I hope it's up to your expectations..."
I don't know about a date, but it should be fun. We have really done a family thing like this before.
"Of course! I prepared my bathing suit way ahead of time, so I'm ready to go right now."
"Oh, then let's head out while it's still morning. I'm almost done getting ready too." That's convenient. Ilya and Irisviel had gone on shopping sprees before.
"Yeah! If we wait around people are going to show up to get in the way, so let's blitzkrieg over there right now! Quick, before anyone else hears!" As much as I'd like Sakura and Tohsaka and Taiga to share with us, I think it's right for it to just be the four of us in the family this time.
But... I had forgotten about a certain nosy maid. "That is unacceptable, Ojou-sama. Regarding your date with Emiya-sama, there are limits to such play." The maid in question jumped from seemingly nowhere.
"S-Sella!? Didn't I order you to go to the castle today!?"
"No. I remained behind, seeing as, according to the horoscope, your fortune was going to be the worst today. In the area of male-female relations, specifically."
"Where... were you?"
"I took notice of a blank room and believed that it needed to be renovated. Such a place is unbecoming of the summer villa of the Einzbern." Summer villa? Is that what this house has become to them?
Leysritt appears out of nowhere not long after. "Vacant room, wrong. Sella, remodel room no one using for herself." Liz helpfully exposes her other half.
"Hmph. I felt that it was only natural to make sure that Ojou-sama, and Onii- Ahem! Emiya-sama were safe and sound and moral while there are other at night." Ah, yes... I am very in tune with my morality when I am asleep. What could we possibly do but sleep?
"...So in short, you were eavesdropping. That's not exactly a moral hobby, Sella. What we do in the bedroom is none of your business!" Illya scowls at her maidservant.
"Yup," I nod in agreement.
"You are quite right to scold me. However, since this concerns Ojou-sama's best interests, I beg your understanding. ...T-That is, at the risk of repeating myself, I believe it is somewhat early for Ojou-sama to be engaging in rendezvous such as 'dates'. In addition, that..." She trails off reddened at what she is talking about. She keeps looking at me strangely.
Ever since Sella has come into her own, she has been nonstop preaching to Ilya and even Mom about proper morals. Though I once saw Mom alone with the maids... I'd rather not recall that time. I don't think that Sella will be trying to rebuke Mom anytime soon...
"That what?"
"That place you call a b-beach. Ojou-sama cannot possibly engage in such vulgar pursuits of leisure! It may be fine for the lower classes such as ourselves, but lady Illyasviel, you are the heir to the noblest bloodline! To speak of exposing your naked body to the common rabble utterly strains the limits of impropriety! The only one that could possibly worship Ojou-sama's body is one that has already vowed to devote their future to her!"
"...!" ...Illya is taken aback. As if she actually swayed.
'She sure is old fashioned,' is what I was thinking, but to think that she would be this adamant about it... I guess there is a point in there... but I think normal people moved past that about 100 years ago.
I never thought that it was wrong to show skin before... I have seen all sorts of skin, bare skin, melted skin, metal skin, ash-covered skin, and things that have no skin at all. I think it's a little foolish to be afraid of skin.
"...Alright, let's put aside that argument for a moment. Since you think the beach is such a vulgar place, does that mean you won't go? Because we're going no matter what." Kiritsugu said he's go and get a rental quick to drive us over... That was coming any moment now.
"Huh? W-Well, if you are asking whether I would like to go with me or not, that is a rather difficult question to answer..." I never said with me...
"Sella, with me too, three swimsuits to look at. Awesome. Onii-sama very glad."
"L-L-L-Leysritt ...! ...Hmph. W-Well, I suppose there's no crime in the beach itself. It is the throngs of people that will be there that I am worried about..."
Ilya taps her chin childishly. "What about them? Then why not just reserve the whole place?"
"Wha..."
"What?" Unintentionally, my eyes meet Sella's.
"Ilya, when you say reserve... Are you talking about reserving the whole beach?" It may not be in season, but it's the first real hot day of the year. And isn't that place public...!?
"...? That's right, what's wrong with that? I mean, when we go to the department store, we reserve the whole place for a day too. We looked into reserving the school, but then you said that school is supposed to be full of people."
'Silly Shirou,' her inquisitive expression says. I guess I'm the dumb one. If I am the disciple of Kiritsugu, then Ilya is most certainly Irisviel's disciple. They both had a way of using up money that made Taiga look like a patient banker. No wonder Ilya won't show herself to people at school... These maids must have corrupted her thinking.
"Sella, just take care of it. I don't care how. It's morning, so you can get by with just money and no magic, can you not?"
"Ah... No, Ojou-sama, that would be..."
"Are you trying to tell me it can't be done? I am the successor to the Einzbern, and are you not its head maid? Do you dare shake your head to something I say CAN be done? My word counts as my mother's word!"
Sella could not possibly back away after that. "I-It is possible! It is most certainly something that can be done! But Ojou-sama, the question of Emiya-sama accompanying you is still..."
But to Ilya that issue was settled. "Not a problem. Shirou is my future consort. Isn't it natural for him to accompany alone me to the beach?"
"Wha..."
"WHAT...!?" The words came out one ear then the next as if my brain purged them in order to maintain equilibrium and not fall apart.
Unintentionally... I couldn't meet Sella's eyes. Any sense of connection we once had seems to fall to ash as Ilya makes such a statement. Her responsibility as the chief servant clashed with whatever connection she felt to me.
Scary. This is absurdly terrifying. And also somehow noisy.
A demon's stare.
I would stare back for her sake.
Ilya's determination is firm. Sella takes one more worried look at Ilya and another, far more upset one, at me. "...Understood. If Ojou-sama is so determined, I will not stop you. I believe it has already been reserved in the first place. The Mistress has excellent foresight."
"Huh!? Then what was all that about then?" Ilya held her skirt displeased by her scheming maid.
"I had simply intended to attempt to inform you of the perils and the morality of this act." She took a few looks at me and.. sighed? I did not think she had the capacity to sigh, but she did. "It seems your transport has arrived."
As a family we came together and were on this beach that Mom was so adamant about.
A sportscar... they rented one out for some reason.
Kiritsugu let Irisviel drive us. She begged him for presumably multiple weeks to let her drive something. She promised on all things that it's fine. We shouldn't have believed her. Needless to say... even Dad was queasy by the time we were there, and only by the use of Ilya's anti-nausea magic were we barely spared.
How we didn't fly off the cliffside road, I will never know.
Maybe giving people what they want is not always the right thing to do. Even if they are in love like Mom and Dad are. Never ever would I set foot in a car if she is at the wheel. Even if she was my adopted mother, she is not always to be trusted. She enjoys breaking promises and laughing in your face.
When we got there, the beach really was empty. Not that it was the sort of beach that people would swim in a lot. It's cold water even today in this heat.
But I'm sure they will tolerate it somehow. The heat was starting up, and a bit of cooling off would be nice.
I think that actually, Ilya didn't have the best tolerance for heat. That's why didn't let her ever be warm. They treated her like an experiment... That's something I hate. I made her drink lots of water.
We found ourselves at a local beach that Mom said she had been to before.
I had an old bathing suit back when I went swimming once for school, but I didn't really think about the others until it was too late.
Mom was wearing something I could only describe as weird. It was... hard to describe. A bikini that showed her body... nearly in full, it's material was so black that it seemed to swallow light. Looking at it gave me flashbacks, so I stopped. I could tell that it was the same for Kiritsugu.
That black hole in the red sky is all I can think of when I saw her, and so I didn't feel bad when Mom stole Kiritsugu away from the changing room and practically dragged him away... Sorry, Dad. I can't save you from her...
Next were the maids. Sella wore a green one-piece... Leysritt wore a purple bikini... and I really saw them for the first time. I don't know, but I couldn't look away for a few moments before I felt that what I was doing was maybe wrong. I ought not to stare...
They are too old for me! ...Wait. No, they are too young for me!
"Sella... And Leysritt... Uh..." This was not what I was expecting, but this is the beach. A happy beach day in the sun... Of course, girls show skin, it's my problem that am having these strange feelings.
Leysritt of course asks the worst possible question. "Onii-sama hot? Pretty?"
"Uh..." I mustn't look... "Leysritt, sorry. I cant see... I'm, uh, blinded by the light."
But that was a bad excuse. "...Blind? Come closer." She came close enough that I could feel the warmth of her presence. I've seen her naked before... but that was in a very different state of mind. This is different! 'Bad thoughts!' Let's just stop and look to see!
But as I turn...
That's when I see it... a very shining thing in the bright day... Of course, she would shine, she is pale to the extreme...
Ilya... A tiny pink thing she wears that fits her white well. I can't look. Not because my eyes burn because of magical feedback, but for other reasons...
I'm too young for this...
She's too young for this...
...I don't know how to feel anymore. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. Maybe Sella was right. Maybe social morals have gone too far. "H-how do I look...?" She asks with trepidation.
"..."
"...Emiya-sama. Do you not have any words for Ojou-sama?" Sella's polite speech almost seem like a foreign language to me.
"..." What is this feeling?
"Emiya-sama...!"
Ilya smiles. "You don't have to ask, Sella. It's obvious from the look on Shirou's face."
"But, Ojou-sama, this is a once in a lifetime, no, I doubt that Emiya Shirou would ever receive such an honour again no matter how many times he is reborn. He should be given an opportunity to respond to it."
"Oh, now you're just exaggerating, Sella. Shirou is just in awe. I'd welcome that any day"
My blank mind is unable to come up with a reply. She looks ready to run off and jump into the water.
"Gah... W-wait!" What am I thinking? This is my sister! What an idiot I am, I must. "...Yeah. You look amazing, Ilya."
"Wah..." She is surprised by honesty. "Y-you really think so? Onii-chan thinks that Ilya's the prettiest here!?"
"Of course. You're the best of them all." Totally honest...
Liz pouts to the side.
The utopia of Ilya's heart was leaking into the work as a fragrance. "Onii-chan adores me~ he picks me! This is the Ilya route now! Hahahahahaha!" Maybe the sun got to her as she starts twirling in the sand and is about as happy as the world allows one to be. She has gone beach crazy.
Then she turns towards Liz who is basically beside my hip now. "Ack!" I hadn't noticed she was coming even closer all that time, so close that...
"You want Swim? Massage?" Liz has no shame making the proposition leaning down at me.
"Leysritt! Restrain yourself!"
"I am sorry, Ojou-sama. We have been ordered by the mistress to watch over you two when she is not present. As you can ascertain, she is currently preoccupied. Her orders are all that are above yours... So we must stay by you and... Emiya-sama's side. Very close by..."
"Do you see what my life has turned into, Shirou? Maids attending to my every need, I never have to want for anything, and I am constantly under the protection of two overbearing maids! It's outrageous service!"
"Most people would kill for that sort of life..."
"Well, tell those people that they have no clue how hard it is! You see, Shirou, it's a matter of privacy. It seems like anytime I think I've got you to myself, some other girl shows up covetous of what is mine. ...I'm your only sister! No one else can steal that fact was!"
Only sister...? Only sister?
"We are alone all the time at night and school... I don't see what is the problem is."
"...Well... It's not enough. I wanna be with you alone all the time, not just a little bit of the time."
"..." That is a lot of time. ...I guess that is understandable. I wasn't there for her before, so we should spend as much time together now as we can.
Privacy doesn't matter to me, because I'll never have that anyways.
"Ojou-sama, it is one thing to share a room with Emiya-sama, it is another to want to be with him all the time. You must restrain yourself! Think of your purity!"
"Oh? Says the one who smiles anytime she tastes Shirou's cooking. You want him for yourself!"
"Ojou-sama...! You m-must understand that is because I am tasting for poison, n-nothing more."
"You two are supposed to be my maids! But all you want to do is be thieves! Are you not loyal?"
"Yes... We are."
"Good. Now I will be dismissingyou henceforth as punishment for your crimes against me." Ilya made a long happy sigh letting out her frustrations on her maids. Ilya really was a rich girl at heart, and she doesn't even realize it. "Hah... Now then, let's swim Onii-chan!"
The maids followed us despite Ilya's efforts. Eventually, I had to strike the compromise that they'd at least watch us from nearby to make sure we'd not drown.
"Don't worry, you two, I'm a good swimmer. Ilya's safe here." Really much safer than anyone else who starts out. She's got all sorts of safety points where I will save her if I need to.
"So, have you swum before?"
"..." She was staring in the ocean. It was a beautiful shade of light blue today with the sun so high. Her toes were near now, and she had never felt the feeling of rea seawater before.
"Ilya?"
"I-I..." She tipped her toes in the water a nd jumped back. She must be nervous. "I can't swim. ...Could you teach me, Onii-chan?" ...To think, that all this time... After all this thoughts about bikinis and all that... I ignored what it was she wished for most of all.
"There was only one pool in the Einzbern castle, and it was made out of liquid metal. The baths were the closest things, but those were kept cold so my body wouldn't overheat."
...I saw that pool of bodies. It's where the maids and Mom's new body came from, but there were so many broken things there that were familiar that I ccouldn't think back without wincing. "Yeah... I saw it..."
Her eyes widened, "Y-you saw it...? I had no idea..."
"It never mattered to me. ...I'm here no matter what."
"Thanks... Whatever problems you have don't matter to me either." She smiled jubilantly and I started to show her how to float without sinking. It was a lot of fun and my student was willing to learn...
Of course only up to the point that she could splash water at me.
I have become a teacher of some sort somehow. I don't really know why everyone looks up to me for something, but that's how it is. I look up to Kiritsugu though... and he is my teacher.
"Do you swim lots, Shirou?"
"No... only with the school. Kiritsugu and I rarely left the house." Only when it was related to Taiga.
"So that means this is your first time teaching someone to swim!?" She asked excitedly.
"Maybe I taught another girl how to swim once, but... that must have been just a dream." She had... red hair? Or was it black... I can't parse it one way or the other.
A grim look came down on her face. "You dream about other girls? It seems that I can't compete with even your dream girls for a first time"
"... Not all the time, but sometimes I dream about girls. Most of the time it's just... you know..." The flames or the mountain, or the villagers. Sometimes it's a void, and so sometimes it's a barren plain gazing out at rows of steel.
"You should stop dreaming about other girls from now on, it's not good for your mind! And well... You don't have to worry. I'm there for you when you have a bad dream. I will exorcise it from you! I'll remove those dream girls!"
"Haha, yeah... thanks." Ever since Ilya has come to my room I have felt at peace when I sleep. Not once have I woken like I used to — with sweat and tears. I haven't yelled out, or cried myself awake. "Your magic keeps me safe."
"Yeah? Good. Alright! I'm ready to swim now, I've calculated it all out in theory!"
"Uh, you do!?" In theory?
"Yup! Come one follow me, everyone! I am a mermaid, after all. For sure, I can at least learn swimming from the water itself!" She began to swim a perfect backstroke, and Sella and Leysritt followed.
And so that is how I followed her way out to sea and drowned... or at least that's how I imagined it. Instead what I saw was a girl whose swimming was good enough to compete in high-level sports. It really was impressive and made me almost feel inadequate.
In the end, the only reason I was able to stop her was that Sella really did start to drown... I guess I just sort of expected them to know swimming, but it seems that their knowledge goes only as far as what is strictly needed for a maid. "On-sma!" How could I possibly not go and save her? I took her to shore but by then she was completely fine as if there was never an issue at all. "You saved me... you're my hero.." I was checking her face and neck.
"H-hero?" I blushed. "Hero..." My heart was racing at the one word.
"Help me... I might need mouth to mouth."
"You do!? W-wait..." How can you talk and need cpr...?
"Quickly-" Her mouth came forwards, but not before an impossible force tore me back.
Ilya finally came in and tore me away before contact. "Are you alright, Sella? W-what is this!?"
"She said she needed mouth to mouth or she would die... She called me a hero..."
"No death. Sella liar wants to be rescued by Shirou. Wants kiss." Liz illuminated.
"Sella! Is this true? Y-y-y wanted to kiss Shirou!?" Ilya felt betrayed. It was all quite strange.
"I-I am just checking for poison! It is the duty of the head maid to check out on potential problems before they occur..." Though the words were so hollow that even I couldn't conjure some illusion for it.
"...Sella. This time is too far. From now on, you and Shirou are banned from conversing! I won't let you near him!"
"O-Ojou-sama... you can't d-do that..."
"And why is that?"
"He is... He is..." A very bad emotion grew in me like a mold at what I saw. It was despair, and not one that most would think of something like this... Sella felt actual despair at the idea that she would never see me again. Of course, Ilya wasn't entirely being serious... but Sella took it like that.
I knew then that this was somehow my fault. And thus my responsibility. "Ilya... I will deal directly with Sella from now on, alright? ...Don't worry about it, it was just a little bit of fun." I forced a smile, but not one that fools anyone."
"Shirou..." These maids... their births were abnormal. They are about only four or so months old. ...Perhaps when they saw me first after being born, some instinct in them saw me as something much more than I initially took seriously. "What-" We were only saved by the coming of Mom and Dad. I walk away from this unwinnable situation. Ilya changed directions entirely, happy to leave this behind. "Ah, there's Mommy! I wonder where they went off to..." From some sandy corner of the long beach, they were coming over.
Ilya charged across the sands easily and jumped at Mom and Dad, and brought them both crashing down. ...What a pleasant time.
There would surely be plenty of days I could continue to teach her during summer break. Though I do worry about the issue of her skin. Would Ilya tan, or will it damage? ...I worry too much, magic surely can deal with that sort of thing.
Ilya with a tan would be quite a sight, however.
"Sella, come now." I picked her up and brought her to her feet.
"T-thank you, O-Emiya-sama.
"...Sella, and Leysritt... Hah. You can call me whatever you want. I would wish to talk to you soon... No, I think that we need to talk soon." I can't let this situation go on like this. I can't simply treat these two below me like Ilya can. So I need to fully understand them, how much of them is 18 years old, and how much is 18 weeks? Should I treat them like a father, brother, or simply as a friend or master?
It is clear that... these two could never become simple maids. As they have essentially lived their entire lives with me as their caretaker. ...It's natural that some more strangeness would result in these inherently unusual maids.
"Y-yes, I agree... we shall speak soon." But now was lunch and I brought us all over and the maids presented their excellent sandwiches. My life jumps from normal to abnormal constantly. It is all in flux.
I won't run away from the responsibility. Not from Ilya, who is my sister even if we are not of the same blood. Not from Sakura, and not from Tohsaka. Not from Sella and Leysritt. Not from the people of this town, and not from the people who don't even exist.
She is my true sister now... and that means letting go of anything else. The past no longer has a place in reality... Even if I will always have you in my dreams. I can't save the people who no longer exist.
So you know...
I hope you can forgive me, Miyu. This time I won't run away no matter what.
Cool Wind (Music) /lzBbQd0_4wo
After lunch, we were forced artificially apart and I knew immediately why. Papa and I walked one way, and Shirou and Mom walked the other.
Just me and Kiritsugu. This is the first time like this since I stabbed him in the chest with the intent to kill. Then I saved him... I really am a troubled little child, aren't I? I follow in his footsteps in that regard.
We didn't walk side by side, and I ran ahead, and then back and forth having fun.
"Do you like the ocean, Papa?"
"No. Maybe... I loved the sea more than anything once, but I lost it. Now I can not see it with the same eyes."
"Wow... So something that you love can become something you hate more than anything? Hmm..." That is how he must see me. That's how I see him.
"Yes. That is true... But not for you and me. I love you and that's all there is. Any regret... is that I was unable to keep that love."
"There is no difference, Kiritsugu. You hate to look at me, so you hate me! It's not hard to figure out."
"No." He shook his head once again. He wasn't going along with me.
"You lie!" There is a tick in his face that I know well. It's the face of a liar, and everything I hear from him makes me feel sick to my stomach. I relive my four years of isolation in my mind and have half an impulse to finish the job I started. A sweet lie is something I have come to enjoy the taste of, but not from this man. From this man I hate more than the devil, I'd rather hear stinging truths. At least then I can hate him without reservation.
"Yes. I am a liar Ilya..." Truth.
"..." My heart ran cold.
"But never once did I do something without you in mind. ...I choose between you and millions of people I did not know. I choose the millions... But that the wish had a mind of its own, and now we find ourselves here in this strange fate. But I never stopped thinking about trying to save you-" I can't tolerate hearing another word.
"Stop it! Why won't you shut up! Stop lying for once!" Tears ran down my cheeks. Did he only wish to torture me? WHy did I bother to save this man?
He kneels down. "It is no lie. I love you, Ilya. Maybe it took losing you to finally realize what that even meant... but you have always been my most prized person."
ME!? I am the one he loves most!? Then I just feel bad for the rest for he has treated me horribly. What a farce.
"What? So you must hate Shirou then? And Mom? You'll just say anything, you- you horrible man!" I couldn't tolerate the calmness in him, as if he could wipe away all the suffering with words. I hit him, but this time there was no knife to peirce him chest and it did it's job of showing him that I was very much not happy.
"I care for them too. ...Without them, I would never have had found you." He held me, even though he hates hugs and being close to others, he hugs me. It's the sort of awkward attempt you could imagine from the man that is accustomed to holding weapons only. "You're cold Ilya." He warms me as best as he can. Not like Shirou can though. "Look... I know I am a horrible father..."
"We finally agree on something." I cross my arms, and I don't want to dignify him with acknowledgement anymore.
"... I know I can't take back all the suffering of before, and I can't always be there to protect you into the future."
"...Huh?" What does he mean? "But... you're barely 34. You are going to be there paying me back for each year you missed and more!" I knew his age. I calculated it all the time so I knew all the days he was missing.
"Those years I lived were like decades of a normal life." He sighed sadly. ...But I swear that I don't pity him. I swear that I will not understand his reasons.
"Nonsense. you are not the type who would die. And if anyone would do it, it would be me..." More than anything... I wanted to... "Listen... I will forgive you if you simply promise under oath that your life is in my control. I really think that it's that simple." I was sure of it. He would give me all I wanted.
"...I cannot promise that, Ilya." He said looking down, letting water slip through his fingers.
"Huh...?"
"Ilya... Life is not something you can control. For everyone, when their time comes, there is no debating with death. To give your life to another... that is something for the young, and I have already made that oath to another. A solemn vow-"
And for the thousandth time, Kiritsugu made me cry. It really was quite fast that my mask broke...
I announced I wanted the truth... but that was my facade. What I really wanted him to do was lie more, sweet warms lies that could confirm anything I wanted. I wanted to either hate him or love him... not both. When I look at him, all I can feel is a sense of being out of control. "Sorry, Ilya... I didn't mean anything bad..." he had no clue how to handle someone crying in front of him.
"You never mean anything you say or do, Papa... And that's the problem..." The tears mingled with the salt and burned my eyes. It was an entirely new feeling, but not pleasant. "I hate you!" If there was anyone else on the beach, then maybe it would have meant something. "I want you to leave and never come back!"
Instead, it was just me and him. Mommy and Onii-chan were out of sight.
My words were hollow.
"Do you want to kill me then? ...I am here." He closed his eyes and made no attempt to defend himself.
Why was it that talking to Kiritsugu and Shirou felt like talking in circles? They talk about protecting you and a bunch of crap about saving people, then when you push them on it they eventually will tell you that they would be fine with dying at any time...
As if the thought of death was almost a pleasant desire in their minds.
"...No." If people wouldn't die when they are killed, then I would kill him over and over. But I've already faced that once, and I know I'd regret it. "I don't want to kill you... Idiot...! Don't you value your own life even a little?"
"As much as my life can be useful for you, Ilya... That is fine with me."
"And Shirou, and Mom!? Even those horrible women would be without a guardian! You don't care?"
"...Shirou's fine... He'd understand if it was what you wanted. It's about... you, Ilya. It's for your sake, I would do anything to see you happy and free. I will never stop until that is secured..."
I cried into his shoulder as he carried me across the relaxed winds of the cooling beach. "Now why don't we go back...? Would you like that?"
"Sure..."
He... really... loves me? If that is so, then I know that I will never be able to hate him fully. Not ever. All I can think of are these good memories now. The bad will stay but they can no longer replace the good entirely.
As if in answer, Kiritsugu speaks as he holds my hand. "I hope that... you can understand that no matter what else... I really do love you, Ilya." The words were painful for him to say.
Not because it was a lie, but because it was the truth. For Kiritsugu, the truth was much more painful... and for me too.
"Yeah... I know." I replied. Emiya Kiritsugu tried his best as a father. He was pathetic at it, but he tried. Painful conversations are sometimes to move forwards. Daddy... didn't forsake me. He came back in the end. He loved me... and I loved him. It was the stupid truth.
...It would be a long time before I could truly heal... Or I could... forgive... But maybe someday...
We walked back side by side holding hands and looking out to sea. He told me all about how he used to love the sea, but how it came to an end.
We found, Mommy and Onii-chan, who seemed to have had a conversation of their own.
The other side of the sands, where the boy and his mother spoke were darker, and one would not easily find the two next to a large rock that laid down an oppressive shadow.
"What do you think of the sea, Shirou?"
"...I like it. It's calm: I feel like you could stay here forever and never experience change. But it's dark... dark like your smile, I guess."
"Huh, wait, what do mean? What was that about my smile?"
"Well.."
She helps my chin up, "Well? Speak up, I promise not to get angry."
"Well..." I spoke hesitantly. "Dad's smile... Dad's smile is something natural to look up to, while yours is... you know..." Not so much.
Her eye twitched. "W-what do you mean, Son? My smile is great. You don't look up to me?" And her lips grew to her signature look of craziness, proving my point to me, but not to her.
"I just..."
"I see how it is, even you are betraying me! Come here, I'll make sure you love Mommy more than anyone." Her eyes darkened and I felt the world enclose me.
"But y-you said you wouldn't get angry!"
"Hihi, I lied." She giggles and shuts down all escapes. "It's your fault for being too trusting!"
I ran towards Dad's and Ilya's direction, "...!" Useless. I was picked up at my collar and held up. My voice was swallowed by the dying of the wind she brought.
"Now, now, it's not fair for you to intrude on their time together." Her eyes were deep in my own, and the burning started. "Don't you have an answer for me?"
"...To what?"
"My question, silly! What are you~? What do you want to become?"
Dark words, dark sky and dark eyes. Heaven's fall: to rip the souls down to earth, rather than to touch heaven from earth. My eyes see only bad things by peering into her. Her spirit is above normality.
"...What am I?"
"Hah... it seems you have lost yourself a bit. Perhaps I can help you recall what you must see for yourself. Remember!" Her hand reached out for my head... And my eyes blacked out like a television set without power. And so I see the complete dream of something I always only saw fragments of.
Of his past~
Legend (Music) /khuggY7mETc
As naturally as saying, "good morning!" to another.
The first year was spent deciding who to hate.
For a long time, he had been living in happiness. He was born in a plain, not so wealthy family.
He had parents that were average and a sister much younger than him. He woke up early in the morning, helping his father in the forest, carrying back the yield of the day to the village.
That world of his was simple. His everyday life didn't change.
That work had gone on for decades. His father and his father's father probably entered the forest and lived under the grace of the mountain the same way. Just like his father and grandfather, he was also going to live a dull and boring life. There was the restlessness of youth, but he knew that would leave him as the years passed.
A roof to sleep under, enough food not to starve, and the warmth of his neighbours. That was all he could ever ask for. But why, why did it have to turn out like that? Villagers were at least entitled to this dull life. It hadn't been a rich village, but it brimmed with the rightness of being able to live normally and die quietly. The other villagers weren't any different from him.
The other villagers thought of him as one of them.
...This vexes him even now. Nothing had suddenly gone wrong. There was no mistake anywhere. The choice that was made had been, undeniably, the will of humanity, including himself.
That's why it still vexes him even now.
Had it at least been the will of heaven, he could have cursed god's cruelty and been done with it.
"Filthy demon!" It came without any warning. "First, the eyes!"
As naturally as saying "good morning!" to another.
Leaving the house, he went towards the woods like always. He said "hello" to a passing neighbour, but was ignored. An evil eye was all he received.
The disaster took place in the middle of the village. Villagers he had never met surrounded him, and he would never return there again."Hey, leave the left eye." The ceremony was performed calmly. Apparently, he had been the devil himself. This fact, unknown even to him until now, left the people in grief and disgust. Finally, their anger rose up, and his fate was decided."Damn noisy he is. We should take care of the throat" There was more doubt than fear within him.
Why? Why do this? Why did this happen? Why did it have to be him, of all people?
After all, no matter how hard he thought about it, there wasn't a trace of a pretext to be found. ...And on top of that, how?
"Yeah. As long as he can breathe, I guess."
How could they do such a thing? as natural as it was cutting down a tree.
"Cut the tendons in his arms and legs. Only the tendons, mind you. His body belongs to everyone in this village, you must leave enough for everyone." Several men took care of the ceremony. The women walked away.
Cursed by almost everyone he knew, his arms and legs lost their function even while retaining their shape.
Back to The Night (Music) /S70HvCHGqZY
"This is your punishment for not endowing our lives with abundance!" they said, and they meted out appropriate punishment to every part of his body.
"Cut his tongue off too. As if we'd give him the satisfaction of letting him die!" Insulted by many of those he knew, he was covered in filth.
"This is what you get for threatening our lives!" They said, and every part of his body rewarded their discontent.
"Serves you right, you damned demon!" That was the end of him as an individual human.
His emotions were destroyed by the pain of losing his body. His rational mind was destroyed
And so...
He had been kneeling for who knows how long. Not a single moan escaped him. The branch piercing through his throat had started to rot. His tongue had been ripped out long ago. His vocal organs had become inflamed after a night of screaming.
People that knew him, people that didn't know him, he was abused by everyone alike. The administering of justice needs no reason. They, with their righteous anger and morals, hated the demon confined atop the mountain without an ounce of shame. "The likes of you should not live," they laughed. Yet they would not even do him the kindness of killing him.
Hatred begets more hatred.
Going beyond terror and confusion, a hatred was eventually born within him. But who must this hatred be directed at? Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
He thought and spoke this question too many times to count. Even as one of his eyes was crushed, and as his fingers were cut off by some scissor-like tool, the words he managed to squeeze out of his throat were, "Why me?" None of the villagers would tell him.
Please stop.
Please send me back. Please save me. He did not put a voice to those wishes he had already given up hope on. He had accepted it when the last of his fingers and toes, the big toe on his left foot, was cut off by the person who had once been his father. They were proud to have exposed their possessed son.
He had only a single wish left. Why me? That question alone was his final request, but nobody would tell him. The moment he realized the answer, he became a real demon.
There was no reason as to why he was a demon.
There was no reason for him to be chosen as the sacrifice.
To begin with, the village elders, the people in power, never even knew him. Anyone would have been fine.
It was not that he was hated because of his sins. Neither was he isolated because of his good deeds. As a completely dull, ordinary person, he was chosen completely by chance.
...Just for the sake of a one-day luxury, people he never met ended the life of a human that they never knew.
That's all there is to it.
Merely to fulfil the desires of a single night, his life, fostered well for decades, was trampled upon and crushed.
This world is governed by things that are not people.
The moment he realized that he decided upon the target of his hatred.
"All the Evil in the World." Angra Mainyu~
The revered effigy thus became a genuine demon.
An egg that will never hatch. An anti-hero of this small world that would rid it of all sins.
He had no limbs to struggle in pain. His limbs were completely severed. Only his heart was still alive.
No arms, no legs, no dignity left. He had no functions as a human, but his sense of pain alone had yet to fail him.
He took on a countless amount of hatred while bringing forth hatred just as infinite.
His collapsed personality gained order in its own broken way. He was stone.
Never going outside the stone prison, his body wasn't allowed to move at all. It melted into the walls as an ashy shadow.
The eyelid of his remaining left eye was fixed, not allowing it to close. His dry, cracked eyeball continued to stare at the outside world. He was just like a stone statue. A stone statue that was conscious.
Without taking a single step, he watched the unchanging scenery for a month, a year, decades... On and on and on and on and on…
The world never stopped. It never made took exception or decided to allow mercy.
He could neither avert nor close his eye. The treatment that would make him forget the fact that he was still alive before the tedium sickened his mind would, in fact, continue until his death.
What frightened him, however, was the fact that this torture, difficult to bear for even a single day, would last for his entire lifetime.
A healthy person's sanity would surely fall apart in no more than seven days.
What allowed him to endure it, what preserved his soul, was the fact that his sanity had already been broken.
Unchanging scenery wouldn't break him.
That which spread beneath his eye was his hometown.
The people called him a demon as they turned him into a real one. The village that the hatred came from. He had an unbroken view of it all. A repulsive mass of goodwill, prospering by sacrificing the weak.
He will continue to hate as long as he lives.
This absurdity.
The hidden repulsiveness of mankind. The overly tolerant world that approved of it. All that's left in this stone prison is the hatred that has been scorched in.
Neither the personality nor the body that once belonged to him is in here.
The soul in his physical body was annihilated long ago.
It has already become something else.
Only the hatred born from within him continues to smoulder within his body, even to this day
Who knows how many years passed like that.
To him, having lost his sense of time, the world continued its dizzying transformation even as it stagnated. The ties he had from back when he was human were no exception.
The people that chose him, the people that took away his legs and arms, the people that were his blood relatives, the people that hated him, the people that he loved. Their hatred did not last as long as that held by the human they sacrificed.
Those who stole everything from him disappeared from this world before he did.
...Like shooting stars. The strong, merciless flicker of the ever-coming days burned into his eyeball. For a long time, he was left in that sunny spot.
He saw so many lives. The result of too many meaningless lives. Consuming time and space, burning up their own lives recklessly, bearing children, amassing riches, yet ending without a trace.
Hollow as they may have been, they were not void. Although they ended, it wasn't as though they did not continue. The wheel of time keeps turning. Lives wither, then bloom again.
The cycle of prosperity and decay. The scenery before him kept on spinning. There were times of destruction, overrun by believers of a different faith. There were times of expansion, taking in fresh blood. Throughout it all, he continued to stare with hatred. Hatred was the only means by which he could connect to it.
There is evil atop this mountain, breathing malice into all of us. That became teaching passed down in the village since old times. As long as there was hatred, as long as he was hated, he would not die.
The new villagers hated, worshipped, and thanked him as their everyday enemy.
The young man who had become the demon didn't even exist there anymore.
A hatred that gave birth to nothing. A blank space that existed to help life advance smoothly, day after day. An open hole in their everyday life, a dumping ground that received all their overflowing emotions.
What a convenient false void that could never become anything.
That village, too, disappeared in a flash. Neither decaying nor prospering. Times changed, people changed, and the mountain village, having fulfilled its role, went back to being an open field. Everything he hated disappeared without a trace. His name and body had been lost, and he had even lost sight of his soul. And in the end, even hatred left him behind.
And yet, he is still connected to this place. Many years passed.
People perished, the village perished, but even after his own body died, he cannot move from here.
The hatred burned into this place is unchanging and undying. As long as the world of humans continues on, it will exist forever.
In this empty wasteland.
Forever gazing at the end of the world.
I see it with my waking eyes, alone on top of the hill.
Stranger (Music) /MhAcoQuGfHg
"Agh... Ah~~!" My breath returns and I find that I am no longer being held up, but I was lying on the ground. I can see the back only as she gazes out to sea.
...I take my breath and am thankful that I am alive. I am alive... I can breathe, and I have a voice.
She begins talking not long after I wake up. Her words are my everything along with the winds. "...Sometimes, you remind of an old friend. You have similar foolishness." She ultimately put her feet into the water fully. "This brings back memories... Is this freedom? To put your toes in cool water on a hot day without worry? Tell me Artoria, what would you think?" She asks the sky.
That's a foreign name, "Al-tri-a?" I've never heard that before.
"Artoria, Shirou. Speak in her tongue of English and you can make the proper words. Nobody like to lose their true name."
"Sorry... So that's a friend?" I had no clue Mom had friends. I felt bad for doubting her.
"Yes. The only friend I ever made, I guess... we were here once before, the same as now. Except that was me at my end, and now I am returned. It is a shame she is gone. But... sometimes I smell something, or feel that she is near..." She turned and looked at me.
"That's too bad: a friend of yours... must be a very good person."
She gazed intently at me and smelt the salty air, and came to some realization that brought out a soft smile. "Don't fret, Son. I think you of all people have no reason to. You and her make a pair, for good or ill. I think I see now..." She said the ominous words with a kind smile. A kind smile that only came to her when she did not notice it, for a true smile is something not remarked as special by its bearer.
"...Me? Have I met this person?"
"Hihi, not yet. But you never know. That's a mother's intuition."
The white shore of early summer: when the cold ocean is something beloved rather than feared. A place of calm even Mom could try to accept. Together we sifted in the waves, while Ilya and Kiritsugu did the same hopefully.
"Do you like the ocean?" The look she had put her feet into the water was childlike, no different from those of Ilya. I wanted her full answer.
"...The ocean is like freedom, it is tempestuous and is not always so friendly. But on its best day, there is nothing more beautiful..." The statement seemed troublesome for her to admit. She went on, "He never reached the ocean. He never gained freedom. He achieved nothing. The idea of the ocean was just a myth." Her bitter voice flows into the breeze. "Why does your mind persist on living, when you have seen more of him than I? Shirou, I didn't last very long as a sane thing. I was spared only by the fact that he and I were compatible, as I am not human in the first place. He is a wish, and I am a wish granted."
"..." I close my eyes and let my mind wander. I will answer her without lie.
"Shirou... No human was ever supposed to come close to him. It was a cruel coincidence, is all I can say. Something that happened to you before even we came to meet. Not for four days could a human persist... but for four years? No. Even if you were saved: By me, Kiritsugu and even perhaps Artoria, that only lasts for so long. It is not supposed to be a stable form of existence."
This is the heart of the matter of her worry. She looks at me as a mother would at a sick child. But I am not... sick, as she may believe me to be.
I only hated him at first, but that was years past.
I opened my eyes. "...You asked me a question."
Fear entered her. "I did..."
Who am I? What will I become?
"...I'm your son. I believe in your goodness, so nothing that comes from you could possibly be bad. It's really that simple. You've shown me that it's wrong to be a hero alone. So... you're right, It's wrong to favour Kiritsugu over you." It's what was always the answer, it's just I'm not the best at finding the word for it.
"..."
"I will be both. I'll follow you and Kiritsugu, just as it's always been. Haha, I can't believe it's taken me so long to just realize that..." The soft and near-silent waves tread up and down the shore. Every minute is lost time to those who do nothing but wait and watch life leave them behind. "I will give everyone what they want and what they need. I will be a demon and a hero. yet I won't fall into either trap... because I will have the blessings of being both, and I'll simply avoid all the things you warned me about. ...Isn't that great, Mom? I've finally solved it all." Relief came over me, and the burden I have been carrying lessened as my path felt so clear to me.
Feeling satisfied with one's tomorrow is all you can ask for. Now that I had decided, my mind fitted it all into place and fused it to the strength of steel. I can't go back on that without giving up on something equally important.
A sense of finally came to her words, and resignation stuck with every syllable. "To cling to tomorrow, and forget your everyday, that was never what I wanted... But you have your father's eyes now, and I can no longer pull you free." She smiled sadly back at me. "...I would kill you. I should kill you. There shouldn't have been a you. This miracle rightly should never have occurred. I never wanted a son... but now that you are here, I love you too damn much to do anything about it. I don't care anymore, Shirou... If your wish is true, then all that is left for me is the prayer that you will one day reach the stars." And the waves hit her and black tears fall from her eyes. "Take it, Shirou. Take it away..." Her tears darken into the water and pool over the water like mud.
I place my feet in the water.
It was only ever meant for one to hold. That was my mistake, I showed my pain and became a hindrance. I let people take on things that were rightfully never supposed to be held.
All the Evils of The World~ In the end, she gave it all to me.
It would just be the memory for her. As that memory was inherently worthless and barren, maybe one day... "No, Shirou. Not even then will I be free of this corruption. I may no longer be the grail itself, but I still reflect on what it once was. I won't ever be free of it, even if I am giving my part up to you. But don't you like me better this way!? I may be cruel at times, but I've never felt so free! Hahahaha!"
She wouldn't change. She'd still be the same weird evil Mom I've always known. But indeed, despite her words, perhaps one day...
Even if I can see black serpents under my skin, and even if I feel hazy and out of breath, I am still glad for it.
I can just imagine how Mom must feel now with the cool water running up her skin. And so I smile happily.
When the time comes I will be there to take in Sakura's tears, and Ilyas... and then that is it. My penalties will shrivel up then, and I can do a good thing
It is a matter of rectifying my own mistakes. Of avenging against myself.
"Let us reunite then, it seems we have said all that there has to be said. Enough with all that drab grimness, let's go have some fun!" We regrouped with Ilya and Dad, who seemed to have had a conversation of their own.
That day was fun. An unforgettable occasion that wouldn't be forgotten for an entire lifetime.
Author's notes:
A totally happy beach episode is unavoidable.
Two more chapters of act two most likely.
Favourite and follow and review, it is helpful.