Cursed Sword

by Kneenaw

Irisviel could not accept her own end, even corrupted she wishes to return to save her beloved. And so, as Shirou sits waiting to die, he is reborn as the host of a dark miracle, creating cascading effects that would alter the world. This fic spans from the end of the 4th HGW to the 5th. Currently it is starting the direct lead up to the 5th war.

35. Act Three: Gilgamesh

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I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night; this is a work of parody.

Act Three: Gilgamesh

---

Deep Sleep (Music) /bqWDDNFVn48

He is running. The ground was hard and was made of hot coals. Melting into the ground, the distinction between one's toes and molten lava was none. All he could do was run, but the more he ran, the more his body was turned into nothing. The boy will never make it. He will never reach what he is looking for. If you are on fire, then it can't be expected of you to run across the world and more. A marathon sprint. If you slow down, then you will burn out; if you go too fast, you will fade away.

He was running. He was trying to reach the light. Running on a great branch, a tree that spans across all things. A great, magnificent branching tree, broken into different sections that would have a beginning and an end. But a branch only reaches so far.

A tree makes no favourites, it does not mark any single root as one above all. They are all equally important to the greater whole. A single poisonous branch is a danger, thus, if one hits a dead end or grows too quickly, the branch is pruned to foster general health and growth. Natural law is based on stability, thus, those things that can not keep up or run too far ahead will always vanish.

That is why he runs. He runs across the stars, reaching out and falling, continuously failing yet restarting again.

Eventually, he reaches the branch he is looking for. The one that always continues, yet sometimes it shifts in location, and he must fall until he reaches it.

It is a unique branch, if only because it must struggle mightily in order to grow.

It struggles to establish stability, but it lacks the strength.

Since no single power can wrest a singular control, it is left in a tenuous balance. It was not a balance of peace, but of war. The only reason one could not assert itself over the other was that both were stricken by disease, thus, neither could gain hegemony. It was a world of sickness then, one which was spiralling towards ruin.

A delicate balance that is untenable. Even still... he loves it, and can't bear to let go.

Many dead ends, so many dark, endless drops that lead into nothingness. Yet somehow, the place persists, and the boy keeps trying to keep it from decaying completely. He falls off again and flows down the river that flows off of the tree.

Things that happened in the past, things that happen in the present, things that may occur or never occurred at all. All truths of a different sort. Unconfirmed ones, that lack the strength to be realized. Others can not be made untrue, no matter how much you try to change them. Miseries that never leave.

"I wish Shirou and I were real brother and sister."

He falls down the river and drowns, but no matter how many times this happens, he always wakes up at the end of the flow. This was the curse he had had for a long time. The one that afflicted not his body, but his soul.

...

My eyes open, and I find myself on the hill again. Chains that hold me there forever and prevent me from ever moving. But I don't know anything else, so I will never be able to stop it.

In the very beginning... there was only this darkness, but then it formed into something with a bang. A great swirl that expanded out until it became everything. Many events occurred, but nothing that means anything to a human mind.

Far after that, humanity started to record things for the first time. It all started with...

---

Gilgamesh, who saw the Abyss~

This was the man who understood all, who travelled to every country on earth, who came to know the depths of the world's mysteries, all its dark, secret places, and brought us a tale of the time before the Flood. He journeyed far, returned home weary, And carved all his trials on a tablet of stone. Who can rival Gilgamesh? Who can stand against him and say, "I am the king?"

He was called Gilgamesh the day he was born, one part human and two parts divine.

The Divine Mother drew his figure, and the god Ea fashioned his body.

His feet were three cubits long, his leg half a rod in length, six cubits to his stride.

A man of perfect beauty, earth's most handsome man.

It was in his reign that humanity truly commenced as a separate entity.

The human civilization was on the cusp of its first transition.

Many of the ancient began to weaken; a handful of the new began to burgeon.

The mystery with which the land had once brimmed dwindled as human knowledge advanced, and the laws of the universe on this planet began to shift little by little towards the physical laws of today. As the state of the earth became defined, it became difficult for Divine and Phantasmal Beasts to roam freely.

The gods who had borne the principles of the atmosphere lost their directivity and were beginning to return to pure phenomena. In other words, this was the beginning of the primatial age. The gods left the land, and it became so that the humans ruled the earth. Many kings lived and perished, and as that happened, civilization progressed.

It was the dawning of the age where humans, for the first time, strayed from the father gods and walked on their own legs.

The dawning of frenetic turmoil, where the humans who had until then venerated and feared nature, began, as humans, to do what they wished. The commencement of manic delirium.

In such an age, he was designed, born as a king. The blood of the gods who had ruled thus far, and the blood of the humans who would rule from hereon. As a completely different life form, embodying the two. As the ultimate neutral party, discerning their respective failings, adjudicating from their respective positions.

Initially, he loved the gods rather than humanity.

Eventually, he loathed the gods rather than humanity.

Ultimately, he was determined to observe everything of humanity.

To observe was to determine. He determined to discern the lives of humans by the king's measure. That is the crux of his being.

There was a king who reigned in Uruk.

There is a king who recognized none as his equal.

There is a king who indiscriminately condemned both those who would resist and those who would obey.

He did not sanction equality and took lives without mercy. What remains is the weeping people, and the desolate earth; desires that continue to be born, land that continues to be bared. Both hideous, bleak sights. It was the moment that the crucible of desires was born on this planet. There was a king who accepted and allowed this.

The desires that make humans 'human' were born in this age. Because the king, who was commanded to punish the animal nature of humans, instead affirmed their desires. ...Because he sanctioned the act of 'taking.' The rule of strength. All would be forgiven if no one was strong enough to stop you.

The result is this wasteland. The river that had started its first flow on the Euphrates and the Tigris. The garden of desires that he had derided as hideous, that he had detested, that he had unceasingly castigated. 'All the evils of the world.' It can't be destroyed. It can't be banished. It will always 'exist', for it is an imaginary thing. As long as humans exist, evil will grow alongside them inside their minds cursing all that is not aligned with their desired path.

If that is so, then all that can be done is set it under the sun and moon and sigh out, hoping for a better future. Trying to be good is often the path of most resistance to man. So it is hard. It will never not hurt. To live with all of it is to live with the vicious contradiction of it all.

I love everyone... so why can't I stop them from crying? I can't let it be known until I have an answer to give myself.

I am waking up.

There is the sound of rushing water and an old lost wind. A song in the distance of people living.

I open my eyes. "Where...?" I have a horrible headache, as if my body has been frozen in Ice for a long time and I was just given life again. I would throw up if my body remembered how. I am lost, not in location, but in mind. A great indigo fog fills my vision. It is an odd colour that swells as if to represent my own confusion.

It is a place I know, yet I have never been.

I don't know how long it is, but I just stare out at the sight I must have seen a million times.

The distinction between a few minutes and a millennium is meaningless for a place that does not change no matter how much you look at it.

Eventually, the mud that only destroys spits something out, and he must scale up the hill of swords.

A phantom that thinks he is still alive. He can't recall who he was.

He does not recall who he is. He does not recall what this place is. All he remembers is he once had a goal, and that the answer might be at the top of the mountain.

There he sees a boy chained by swords.

"Who are you?" He asked, confused. "Where am I?" He asks.

"...Hah." I breathe for the first time in a long time when something changes. Someone is here? I think, then realize who it is. "Oh. I see. It isn't that someone is here, it is that there is still a flicker of that will in you. You are that man... F-Faber Roman... or something?"

His name returns to him. That was the human name he had. "You may call me... Fabro Rowan, yes. That was my name. The one I once went by. It has been... a long time since this was my form." He appears as a normal man would. Normal for a magus, at least.

"..." I pay him no mind.

"I... understand what this is. This is true... chaos?" Not so different from what he had become. "Ahh... This is the endpoint of my existence. This is your Reality Marble. It is... vast." The man who had studied it all his life could only sigh. Whatever knowledge he thought he had was broken by this place.

"I see. Reality Marble? What... really is a Reality Marble, anyways?"

"Truly...? You have manifested a Reality Marble without knowing what it is...?" The man or thing in front of me shows disgust for a few moments. As if I am the one who is repulsive.

".."

"I will educate you. Any magus of significant power could achieve something close to a Reality Marble with enough time or effort, but it would not grant its true power of it. An ordinary mind could never achieve that level. For me, that had been the boundary that I had been stuck within for so long until the serpent helped to unlock that in me, and I became Chaos fully. Only then, did my Reality Marble finally manifest itself... And yet there remained so much more I could have accomplished... The created worlds are completely cut off from normal reality, projecting their internal landscape and sealing off the regular World. It is the materialization and projection of one's inner world onto reality. Reality Marbles represent the pinnacle of all Bounded Fields where the boundary line becomes the space itself. It is only available to the truly greatest Magi and Dead Apostle Ancestors... But it was said, that it originally it came from True Daemons, which held it as a natural part of their existence."

"Oh? Is that what it is? Then it makes sense that I would have that." Yeah... It is important that I keep this place safe. I may not have known how a Magi would explain it in magical terms, but I have understood this place intrinsically for as long as I can remember. "I don't really care though. Power is just something to be used; it isn't any special on its own."

The distinction between a Reality Marble and everything else did not exist his mind. It was just a natural thing. That is why he can have it so easily. He never realized it was odd at all.

For Emiya Shirou, this was a place that always existed. Its existence didn't mean much to him past what it could do for him. That was why he would never be a Magus. He was a Magic-user who happened to have one of the greatest thaumaturgies in his hands. It was all just a coincidence, and that sent Fabro Rowan into lunacy as he realized his own folly.

"This is a Reality all unto itself, a self-realising world...! A place that formed without effort!" This was the place that Chaos had strived for, the eventual conclusion to his thesis he so desired to complete. In dying, he achieved understanding, as many do. Some knowledge is unavailable to those who are confined to the world of the living. "You are a true monster... something that shouldn't be able to exist without falling into entropy. You are like that woman from the Church...! Hahaha... I will swallow you into myself!" He laughs madly.

I've heard it all before, and from those who I cared for much more than this monster. He is right, of course. I should have died with everyone else, but I didn't. That makes me a monster. That is alright... ...There is nothing I can do about that but seek salvation in their place. I don't have to understand what a Reality Marble is to agree with him. "Yeah. I am. I am a monster... But so are you. The difference is that you choose to be evil. You haven't realized it yet, but you are already dead. Your journey has concluded, so you may rest then. Leave it all to me, I shall be the monster in your place. I release you, Fabro Rowan."

Holding out my hands, I envision the final death of this creature. The conception of any sense of self left to Chaos or Fabro Rowan and his beasts is something that must end. It is something that has some problems "Rest...? When... did I last rest...? ...I am... Noo...! I can still complete my theory! You will give this power to me!" An old Magus who simply wished to gain power and life forever, his wish was lost long ago. His soul was cut into so many pieces he lost everything but that. "I-I don't want to die!"

The human who wanted eternity.

Unlike Zouken, this was a man who was never good. He simply wanted to attain power and sold his soul to attempt to achieve that aim. Good intentions... Evil intentions... Those who refuse to let go become something else, and eventually end up here as a curse on the world.

All are welcome to end their journey here. "No... I was so close...!" He ground his own soul down to the point it could only think of living more, and consuming more. All that I can do, within my role, is to grant his wish in the worst way possible. But no human can achieve true immortality. As soon as it is done, that person would no longer be human.

So the only thing I can do is give him a human death he can understand. "Ghhh!" A sword impales him from the ground. His blood spills out and down the cliff into the river. Thus, the Curse of the King of Beasts joins the other six billion curses of mankind. Even if it is the strongest curse there is within that river, it doesn't stand out within such a dark and endless sea. The final execution of even that last flicker of an essence he had. In dying here a final death, his soul is finally allowed to drift away back to the wheel.

Even here, my eyes see that weak black thing as it drifts out beyond time and space. A soul without a body to hold it is nothing more than the lines of a book. But his book became so old that he couldn't even recall how it started. His life was one that was built on apostasy, on breaking the rules that keep the world stable. He was born in a cruel time, and he himself became cruel.

Fabro Rowan. A man born in the 900s. He found his role in life as an alchemist of the Wandering Sea, a cluster of smaller magical organizations in northern Europe. A man deeply afraid of death, and obsessed with the potential of life. He developed a method at the apex of his magical research, allowing him to absorb and merge his existence with other creatures' lives to obtain immortality and ascend to the level of a Dead Apostle. Thus, he was never turned by any other vampire. He became a demon of his own free will. He existed for over a millennium and developed into the accumulation of lives he absorbed with a collective consciousness, aligned with his will yet not entirely under his control and of nature beyond his own understanding.

He himself became nothing but that magic, not so much a human than a disaster that no one was able to stop. Until his very blood became a curse on the world. That is the 'Idea Blood' that Arcueid talked about. The very essence of a Dead Apostle becomes so potent of a curse that their blood itself takes its shape. His blood was an agent that would congeal upon a living creature and combine with them. Some of that was put into me in order to save my life by Arcueid. This was what differed the Dead Apostle Ancestors from simple Dead Apostles.

That blood seeps into this land, so to contain it, and to put it to a final rest, I shall forge a tomb to keep it. A grave in the only form that this mind can make sense of. One that fits in with all the rest.

The sound of steel hitting steel.

Claang

It is as if there is a great foundry revving up all over. The hammer hits the anvil, and the forge is turned on. Great machinery in the sky that runs across the entire world. A workshop that creates blades.

Claang

It is created. It is a fake, but also an original. Something that fits in with the full contradiction of this world.

A curse reformed into the form of a blade.

A new sword falls from the sky and impales into a new spot. Another blade of steel. It is black as night with a red colour to it. Inscribed into its edges are the icons of 666 beasts. It writhes as if alive, a curse so potent that the magical element is visible on the edge of its steel.

A short blade, in the style of a short straight sword that comes from Northern Europe. To those who look into it, however, they would find no end to its darkness. A shade that goes on forever like the greatest dark cloud. A sword made out of a curse. A curse in the form of a sword.

This is how Emiya Shirou can stay himself when faced with the insanity held here. He converts whatever evil that contaminates him into swords and steel that strengthens him. He turns the curses that should kill him into the things that save him.

A blade that is nameless yet holds the name of an ancient evil. A sword that takes your soul and consumes it into itself. The curse of the King of Beasts. In the wrong hands, it could become a horror that would stain the whole world... In my hands, it will probably never be used.

Even if I did not want to do anything with the idea blood of a vampire, it was unavoidable. That chaos was a nuisance too great not to be remade into something orderly. It is better in the form of something I can understand than something left like cancer inside me. So I must keep it for my own, and trust in my own ideal until the very end.

I fall down on the hill that I was on, exhausted. The green sky is so pretty... even with all the pain here, I can't see it as anything but beautiful.

There is bright golden light calling me. To the place, I must now go, in order to confront the one other who touched the sins of humankind and walked away. He asks me to do his bidding, but his story must first be told. I fall back to sleep again and am drawn back into a story that is invading my mind.

A man is calling upon me to make my presence and kneel.

---

Eiyuu Ou (Music) /nGKAEaXQoEQ

It is a dream within a dream. Someplace deep in the oblivion of the mind.

A throne room that held more pure gold than could be said to exist in the modern-day. Every excess is built to perfection. The greatest king must reside here. And there he is, boredly sitting on his throne. He appears divine, bearing a bright figure that shines like a god. Back then, this is what he must have looked like.

Compared to that, I am like a measly shadow. A mouse who has snuck into his throne room.

"It seems you have finally arrived. I am not surprised you have made it here. As a tool soon to be within my treasury, you are granted entrance to the place you will reside for eternity."

I find myself here, so I may as well ask what I can.

"I wish to know the truth."

"Hahaha? The truth? What truth is there to know that you do not already hold? The only truth that resides in the world is that Gilgamesh is the king. That is the only truth that has mattered."

He became the king of all the civilized world at that time, thus, that was the absolute truth. For something to be a fact, there cannot be even a single contradiction. "You were the king in that world, but that is not true anymore in the real one. You wouldn't bother with me if that were true, would you?"

"Do not confuse yourself. I have allowed you to live only for my own entertainment. You have served as a recourse in absence of the King of Knights. It is all that remains as I have been summoned to this world. You are what I will affirm across the world to save it from itself."

"If you would ask that of me... then that is why I would ask to hear what it is that makes you believe in such a thing. Who are you to decide what is right and wrong?"

"...You have been nothing but impetuous since I allowed you to exist. This is why I never sought an heir, for they would simply be a drain and a disappointment."

"..." I am looking at him intently. I don't know how long that stare lasts, but it must be for a few years or so.

"Hmm, what is it, mongrel? Gazing at me so intently; is it that you've finally admitted defeat to my Golden Rule?" To admit defeat to the Golden Rule, in other words, is to be become utterly blinded by money. As of now, I haven't yet fallen into such a nightmare. What I wanted to know was something else.

"What manner of hero are you?" I ask with purpose. He responds after thinking, by affirming my question with a sort of answer.

"If you wish to know, then I shall tell you. Let me start by saying that in no way did the gods create me as a favour to humanity. Their fear of humanity necessitated me. One with the perspectives of both god and human, a new king of the next generation. Living things have an instinct to adapt their surroundings to something better suited for their habitat. Viability, I should say. This the gods of antiquity lacked. No matter how much energy they wielded, they merely "existed." In contrast, the viability of humans was exceptional. One by one, it was slight, but they had force in sheer numbers and the mean was high. Though there are no transcendent beings commanding vast Authority among humans, they had a higher level of intelligence than other living things and this was distributed across all. Meanwhile, no matter how powerful the natural phenomena the gods of the heavens were, the personalities they acquired... Their inventiveness and cognizance were not much different from that of the humans'. Do you see? Even if omniscient, a god can come to only one conclusion and acquire only one personality. In that respect, the number of humans was a threat. It was the difference in the magnitude of cognizance... no, in the capacity for change. Human desires are boundless, relentless, and unrestrained. The world evolves in accordance with those desires."

"..." He goes into more detail than I expect him to.

"'If humans continue to breed thus, the rules of the planet will change. There will come a time when it will be no longer necessary for us natural phenomena to have wills as gods.' The gods of antiquity feared that future. As a result, they desired a sovereign who, despite belonging to the human side, would champion their cause. That is the truth behind the foolish act of a goddess entrusting her body to a human king. Though it was an effort to forestall the ending of a twilight age, truly, it makes for an unsightly end, does it not? And what was created thus was a new ruler of both divine and human blood. According to the gods, it was a 'keystone.' A keystone hammered into the earth by the heavens to delay the complete fracturing between themselves and humanity. Such were the circumstances of my birth. Unlike you humans, I was not born from some honest process of life. From the very beginning, this body was designed to rule as the mouthpiece of the gods and censure humanity." Gilgamesh recounts dryly, with a hint of irony. Though there was enmity ridiculing the gods, there was no self-disdain.

"You had no resentment towards being made like that?"

"Why would I? Are you not viewing what constitutes an individual rather narrow-mindedly? Whether animal or puppet, life is created at the will of parents. In my case, it simply happened to be that of the gods and the planet. Understand this. All the lives of this world are created by predecessors. The only thing that naturally occurs is the soul. And that is no doubt the one and only "self" that you and I possess. It matters not whether one's body was a manufactured product, or whether one began as the reproduction of another. The moment you woke and fought, you acquired an individual originality. You do not think of it as being created."

The soul is the only original thing inside us. That is true. A body can change, it can be morphed and it is determined by your parents. But the soul is not so easily touched. If that is true, then there's something that now makes sense with Gilgamesh's legend.

Gilgamesh was created as a mediator. The gods, fearing the humans drifting from nature worship, manufactured a transcendent being who held the perspectives of both human and god, but would ultimately side with the gods. That countermeasure was correct. The problem was that the mediator did not behave in accordance with their wishes.

"Indeed. I did not comply with their intentions. Even manufactured, I was nonetheless born as a new life. If so- there is no reason that I would affirm the aims of the outmoded gods. I lived myself as I saw fit. It may be true that this body was created to be a king all along. But that is all there is to it. That I am king has nothing to do with their schemes. I determined my path as king, and ascertained the rulership that suited me. That is all there is to it. I ruled Uruk because it was something of worth. I cared not for the machinations of the gods. To me a living being is 'that which is about to die' or 'that which will one day die.' If I decide that there is a 'being that must die this moment,' no matter sage or god, it is a simple matter of executing that sentence."

"..." He existed under nearly childish terms. But that is only the view of a modern person. Simplicity like that was once the law of the world.

"My rulership is simple. I acquire worthy treasures and guard them. Those that stand in the way of this enjoyment, I exterminate without exception. That is all there is to me. Simply resign yourself to thinking of me as a demon, or a storm. After all, my mother is a goddess. Is it not only natural that I am inhuman?" Chuckling, Gilgamesh drains his glass completely. "You understand that, do you not, Emiya Shirou?"

"Too well. I have had enough demons for multiple lifetimes at this point."

"It is not your choice. It seems fate has deemed you to be the center point of such a thing. Rejoice, you shall always hold some degree of relevance." Emiya Shirou attracted such things. He was the nameless thing that could give them what they desired. Demons were empty things built out of the void. Emiya Shirou certainly had enough sorrow to fill them up.

"Then what is that gives you relevancy? You may be the oldest legend, but you are certainly not the most well known. What trial did you overcome to justify taking this position?"

"What manner of question is that? One that doubts me? One that sends fear into your blood? I shall not give you to grace of such an answer. Not to you. I tire of this, you have become a nuisance."

Suddenly there are chains in that room. I can't look at them but they really hurt me by simply existing within my vision. As soon as I feel it touch me, there is something that pulls me into a further darkness.

The boy fell over immediately.

What problem did Gilgamesh hold against Emiya Shirou? It was one that was not well understood, and something he himself refused to admit. Some degree of recognition towards one that was too familiar for comfort. He didn't hate him. If not for Gilgamesh's subtle interventions, then the boy would have died by now. Sometimes he would even come and test him directly, forcing the faker to acknowledge his own weakness.

But he had not killed him. It was antithetical to his existence, but looking back such things were never truly understood by either. It had only felt like a natural advancement, fulfilling his eternal role. The boy was a weapon. Perhaps it had simply been natural to him to make that weapon shine brighter for it to inevitably become a part of his treasury?

Gilgamesh falls asleep, such a contradiction straining his mind enough to fall into a rare respite.

Legend (Music) /khuggY7mETc

I was born from a clod of earth. Clay shaped by the hands of the gods. I was created as a tool that could assume a myriad of forms. I woke in the wilderness.

My very first sight upon awakening was one of expanses of land and sky, and a towering city in the distance. I heard a voice calling me from afar. What had woken me was neither the maternal hand nor the paternal rebuke. It was in response to that voice that I had opened my heavy eyelids.

Having just woken, I had no intellect. My father was the king of gods, Anu. My mother was the goddess of creation, Aruru.

Though they had given me superb power, they were unable to give me a soul. Thus, for years after I awoke, my existence consisted only of racing across the wilderness with animals. Despite that, I had a purpose. I had been given a task when I was created by my mother. "Chains. You must return the Keystone to our control."

However, I did not have a soul. I was able to live only ferally. I lacked the will of a human. I knew only the joy of running in the wild all day with the animals. I was not perfect, but neither was I flawed. ...However, on occasion, I stop and turn to look at the distant city. From beyond the wilds, I heard a voice calling. I wondered who that was. It was neither my father, nor my mother. Someone else, someone different was calling me.

My father, despairing in my lack of rational thought, brought me a woman. To someone who'd never even looked at a mirror, that humanoid form became a good instructor for me to learn about myself. I acquired knowledge and rational thought. I was taught all the truths of the heaven and the earth. I acquired the desires of the form I inhabited. I was filled with the soul I needed to fulfil the task for which I was created.

"Enkidu."

And thus I spoke my name for the first time. At that instant, the world became something extremely simple. My role. My task. I must impose the wrath of the gods upon the arrogant Gilgamesh. My heart leapt for joy. Like a meteor, I raced across the wilds. The meaning of my existence. The purpose of my creation. The task I must hinge my life upon. Divine vengeance upon a fellow puppet of the gods.

However, he was still young when I found him. Unlike me, it seems that he ages. Unlike me, it is said that the blood of humans mixed in his veins. He was still a child. Until he reaches adulthood, I cannot clash with him. It would serve as no reprimand unless I fought him as an equal.

...And so I gaze at the walled city. I hear the voice from within it. Suppressing my impatience, I counted his growth by days. In his childhood, he had kingly aptitude superior to all. Tolerant, sage, fair, and moral.

All praised and lauded him, infatuated. He was the epitome of the ideal boy king. Surely the gods had been mistaken in thinking him arrogant. There was no flaw in the young Gilgamesh that needed to be corrected. ...If there was a problem, it was that while he respected the gods, he did not submit to them.

The years pass, and the boy becomes a young man. I was forced to admit that the misgivings of the gods had been right. In mere years he had become a changed man. Absolutism. Oppression. Duress. Levies. Utmost decadence from self-interest. The people of Uruk lamented. They cried out for anyone to save them. They wondered why things had become this way. The gods racked their brains. They had not thought that it would be to such an extent.

...However. I was all too painfully aware of the reason behind his sudden transformation. He had been born with his conclusion already drawn. He existed independent of all as a being that was neither divine nor human. As one who had acquired the characteristics of both, his field of vision reached so far and wide that not even the gods were able to comprehend what he fixed his gaze upon.

Overwhelming power bred overwhelming isolation. Even then he did not abandon his kingship. He did not flee from the mission imposed upon him.

…..What strength of self. In earnest, he had revered the gods and loved humanity. He had simply followed that path to its conclusion, choosing to depose the gods and loathe humanity. "You say that you would reprimand me?" Before the house of heaven, we met for the first time.

"Yes. By my hand, I shall rectify your arrogance."

Rather than "arrogance," I should've said "solitude," but I could not bring myself to say so.

I did not want to injure his pride. Our battle spanned several days. I am a spear, an axe, a shield, a beast. Faced with an opponent who could transform, he mustered all the strength he could.

"You...! some clod of mud, equal to me!?" Was it with surprise or anger that he reacted against encountering an equal for the first time? In the midst of the battle, he drew out the treasures that he had stored away. To take out the treasures he had stored so carefully could have been nothing but a humiliation to him. At first he did so reluctantly, having no choice. But in the end, he came to enjoy it and brought out all his treasures without regret.

The battle ― with whose victory did it end?

He had at last emptied his last vault, and I had lost nine-tenths of my clay. No longer able to even form clothing, I must have looked quite shabby. Staring, he burst into laughter and let himself fall backwards onto his back. I did likewise, and took a deep breath.

In all honesty, I could only move one more time. "Only one chance each between the two of us. With no means of defense, it'll result in naught but two foolish corpses." Even now I don't understand the intention behind those words.

Did he want to suggest a tie, or did he want to say that we should make it so that there'd be only one corpse? Either way, I let myself fall in imitation of him. Like a mirror, I even thought. "Do you not regret the treasures you have spent?" Without much thinking, I said these words.

"Why, if it's someone I should use it on, then it's not unthinkable to do him the favor." Gilgamesh replied, his voice bright.

From that day on I was by his side. Those days flew by.

"My treasury has been in disarray ever since you've come. To think of using my treasures as projectiles...you've certainly given me a foolish habit." His hoarding tendencies were the same as ever, but it seems that he has finally learned to make use of his treasures every so often. One of my few achievements.

There was a beast named Humbaba. Combining our strength we defeated it. I asked him: Why had he decided to defeat Humbaba?

It hadn't been an order from the gods. But neither could it have been for the sake of the people. "But it was to protect Uruk, no? If the evils of the earth are not purged, the people will perish from starvation."

Why? I pressed. The people of Uruk were suffering under his reign. Why would he then worry about the people? "It's only natural. I was born as a guardian of humanity. It is the duty of the king to lay the foundations for the future civilization of this planet." His eyes were distant as he said this. Not even I, created in the same way as he, was able to understand where he had set his gaze upon. "There are types to guardianship. Sheltering is not all; there are times when the north wind too is necessary."

At that moment, I came to understand him completely. "I see. So you chose to honour the path of discernment."

He smiled embarrassedly. It was the kind of gentle smile that he had occasionally shown in his childhood.

….I now understood why he had favoured isolation.

For the path he chose is one that he must advance down alone. He had said that guardianship meant to set one's sights on the future.

If he is to hate the gods and dislike the people for that aim, the king must be isolated. The more favourably he regards the future of humanity, the farther he has to remove himself. Adjudicator and reaper. The only thing the king stands to gain is the result. As one more than human, he must not interfere with the brilliant course that will bring that about.

"Well, the result seems that it'll turn into quite the dull tapestry. But since I have decided, I shall abide by it to the end."

Seeing him say this proudly, I couldn't help myself and said: "I am a tool. Something you have no need to adjudicate. I can be by your side until the end of the world."

"Fool." I think that this was the only time he had ever allowed himself to look reassured. "Listen here... one calls that a..." He continued. ...At that moment, I received a precious word, one like a bright star. It was at this moment that I had acquired a 'self' in the true sense of the word.

This is the final story.

The story of the clash between Gilgamesh and Ishtar, of the battle with the Bull of Heaven unleashed by the goddess after scorning her advances; the story of my end. Gilgamesh and his weapon drove away the Bull, the dark clouds covering the world faded, and the land was saved from the flood. As punishment for defying the gods, I was being returned to clay.

He desperately clung onto me the crumbling clod in his arms. "I won't allow this. Why is it you who dies? If retribution is to be exacted, it should be upon me! Was this not all caused by my obstinacy?" The sky was still weeping.

I couldn't bear to watch, so I counselled him: "There is no need to grieve. I am a weapon. I am but one of the numerous in your collection. You will find countless treasures greater than I from hereon. So there is no reason for you to shed those tears; I have not the worth left in me to deserve them."

Yes. I was a weapon. A tool, unlike him.

Gilgamesh. The hero who, despite being created as a child of the gods, continued to defy the gods. He had a soul from the very beginning. He had free will since he was born. A being with true life, unlike me. A star with true worth, unlike me. I was expendable. ...I had always yearned after that. I had always hated that. Why were we such different beings, I'd wondered, despite being created by the same father?

"You do have worth. You alone have this worth. I hereby declare. In all this world, only one shall be my friend. Thus―not for all eternity shall his worth ever change."

I was a weapon. It is the fate of a weapon to be supplanted by the next. My worth, my mystery, was something limited to this age alone. He changed all that. Accepting as a penalty a fate of solitude hereafter.

...I recall his words from that time. His words when I had declared to him that I was nought but a tool. "Fool. Living together, conversing together, fighting together―That is neither a person nor a tool. That is called a friend, Enkidu."

...Ah. How deeply I've sinned. Despite knowing the weak, never had he glanced back at them. Despite knowing the strong, never had he acknowledged them. With none by his side. To remain aloof was his greatest sincerity. Yet I had left a lasting mark upon that pride. The rain gradually let up. I return to my original state, naught but a clod of earth in the wilderness. Leaving behind only the thunderous cry of the king.

My records fade away here. I am but a long-gone regret of the past. From hereon out is your future, your story. The story of someone who, unlike me, is human. Weapon as you are, we may sympathise with the other, but do not think that it is a blessing to become nothing.

...That is why I want you to ask him now. If he still loves humanity. If he still remembers the name of his friend. If he has finally cast aside the mistakes of a distant age and laid them to rest...

(Music Stop)

...I squint at the light. It seems that I dreamt an ancient dream. Upon seeing those chains, the dream simply shifted away from that throneroom for a time. Yes... this is all a dream.

"..."

When I look up, I saw that Gilgamesh had his fingers pressed against his eyelids. It appears that he had been dozing as well. It was an odd sight, but only because of the front he holds as the greatest at all times. A man who you easily become convinced is a god. A god who portrays himself as a man.

In the end, he sleeps as anyone else would. Maybe it was the effect of the dream I just had; I quite naturally asked him, "Were you asleep?"

"...So it seems. It would appear that I too had been somewhat weary. I dreamt of some nostalgic trifle."

Gilgamesh's voice was lacking its usual forcefulness.

Come to think of it, I've heard of something before. That there is something that occurs when a spirit links to a human. It was in one of the Matou texts, detailing Master and Servant, and the link that is formed and how rarely, when unconscious... when asleep, memories are shared between the two.

I can't say for sure, but I think that the dream earlier was something to do with Gilgamesh's friend. I read it before, but that had nothing on something like that... It could be that he too had been looking back on the same thing I was.

That upon seeing those chains, this dream centred on that. Yet for some reason, when I thought back on it I get a horrible headache. Those chains are not things my mind can comprehend, and thus if I think too hard on them then I'm sure it will melt my brain. Chains that can never be held by a human's hand, a dream of the truth behind the myth. In the end, what I wanted to see for myself was given to me.

...When I think that, words began to come out of my mouth before I realized it. I can't just stay silent without asking.

"Could it be that you really like humans, Gilgamesh?"

"..." Huh, Gilgamesh froze. His expression is fearsome, but that's just for show. I dare say that the King of Heroes was caught completely off-guard and struck speechlessly.

"...Of all the things to say. Do I love humans, you ask? Where have you been all this time? My view on humans should be clear from the way I treat you! Do not ask me something you know all too well!" He reprimanded me angrily, with the desperation of one clutching at straws. Like some kid sulking after finding himself at a loss for words. It should be clear from the way I treat you...

"..." If that was his answer, then I did know all too well his stance on humans. But that was only one side. Only one truth, as he said. "Still, that does nothing to explain what is happening now. Why would you now seek to intervene in the human course of history? You, who once brought humanity into a new age?"

He says something unexpected next. "If you so wish to know, more than whatever odd dream you think you have seen, then I shall rectify your view."

The trials of Enkidu happened in the middle of his life. After that, he completed everything that could be completed. Though it was admittedly in the dawn of civilization, the man had once obtained all that could be found in the world. There have been numerous sovereigns and leaders in the history of humanity. There had been a conquering king who swept east. There had also been a founding emperor who raised a vast empire. However, Gilgamesh makes a conspicuous figure even among them. He had placed himself before the nation and the people. He had neither curiosity nor desire to conquer. He probably had too much to begin with. And so he put himself first, never thinking of anyone else.

That led to the quest for immortality. "I am Gilgamesh. To the king before the previous, Lugalbanda, and the goddess Ninsun-Rimat I was born, given a body that was of the highest grade by mortal standards, and knowledge reaching truth. It would seem that I was benevolent enough in my all, I was apparently cherished as the pride of the people, who had, it was said, rejoiced that they had 'gained the best king there was.'" Gilgamesh is a split of ideals. Each stage of his existence are completely different conceptions. An ideal held in the mind of his subjects. Their toil built up to nothing that was not for him.

"Did you know what you were going to become?" I ask.

If he knew, then he was more god than man. If he did not, then he was more man than god. "Of course not. My younger self and I are utterly different in nature. I cannot even perceive my younger self. My younger self would doubtless be the same. Had he known that he would become me as an adult, he may even have stopped his growth. Well, it is but idle supposition. I reached adulthood, and ascertained my course. That I would live not as a king who governed the people, but a storm who castigated the people. From thereon it is as it was in the epic. I seized and collected as I willed. The nation and the people were mine. All the treasures and possibilities they brought forth I collected and made my own."

"But... Why?"

"Why? To adjudicate, of course. Though humanity is the epitome of ingenuity, it does not possess a shared standard. No, precisely because it has no shared standard, humanity continues to bring forth new advancements. Thus, an absolute standard is indispensable. An adjudicator who was human while more than human, who belonged to the gods without being a god. If merely to govern, a human would do; if merely to menace, a god would do. To the very end, the gods had not understood that."

Punition personified, uncoloured by human values. That was the central thesis at the core of that man, and why it unnerved me so much. He was same...

It was the very thing that I had always wanted to run away from. He was built out of the wishes of the gods, Angra Mainyu was built out of the wishes of humans. An alien intelligence built in order to give humanity meaning. Perhaps that is why he never hated me in truth. He saw me as a natural extension of himself, a tool that was a part of his power. I was what he would affirm.

He continues.

"This was before the Code of Ur-Nammu. Later Hammurabi established his with further delineation, but the basic idea is law for humans to prosecute humans. I lived by my standards. I collected riches, bedded women, fought with my friend, and purged the earth of banes. And after that work was completed, a certain life had returned to dust. Met death, to put it concretely. Until that moment, not once had death inspired in me either grief or fear. It had never even been in my mind. However, before my eyes, one who held equal power to me perished. Though I had known that death awaited all, that was the first time it had truly registered with me."

That was Enkidu then. According to the epic, upon witnessing Enkidu's death, Gilgamesh had realized that he too was fated to die and became frightened. And in the end, to escape from death, he visited the sage who was said to have overcome death.

The final adventure of the King of Heroes — the quest for immortality in the underworld, Kigal.

"Needless to say, it is not that I hadn't thought of the herb of immortality before then. My treasury must contain all the treasures of the earth, after all. Even if he had not returned to dust, it was a task I would have one day needed to undertake. In addition, I now had a reason to do so. I loathed, feared the death that took him away. For the first time since birth, I was frightened of my own life. The journey from that point could be summed up in a single word: a farce. It was said that there was a man in the underworld who had overcome death. For the same length of time, as I had lived up to that point, I wandered the wilderness, seeking the underworld. Well? Just as in the epic, no? I grovelled along pathetically, with no thought in my mind but wanting only not to die. The same motive as you all. Not even a child of the gods was different in any way whatsoever when faced with death. However, even my idiocy exceeded that of humans. ...Revoltingly, I continued to wallow in my own baseness. Without knowing even for what purpose, for whose sake, was I attempting to overcome death. Only glaring at the sky, determined to be unfading."

He reminisces with a hint of nostalgia. Gilgamesh, who'd wandered the wilds for decades. Flinging aside the pride, the authority, the power of a king. All from the fear of death, because he didn't want to die. ...But was that really true? No doubt he had told the truth about having feared death. But is it not only one of the reasons? To begin with, why did he loathe "death"? Was it anger towards the death of his friend, or fear from the realization that even one equal to himself would die? ...No. I don't have proof, but I can say firmly that that's not it.

No doubt he couldn't forgive himself, abandoning his role. He had determined to be the discerner. He had determined to be the adjudicator of the people. He had determined to see through to the very end, not the everyday contentment, but the deeds, the future of the people. That was his kingship. And that's why... To witness their end, he had sought an enduring body that would last until the end of this world.

"Reaching the underworld, I learned the secret of immortality from the sage. It was nothing remarkable. The sage had simply joined the ranks of the gods, and gained longevity. A farce indeed. The sage had half become a plant. That is what it means to join the ranks of the gods. I had to be immortal with the desires of a human intact. What would come of living eternity in a body with no appetite? I left the underworld. I became of a mind to return to Uruk and bring my treasury to completion. However. Likely the sage had grown doubtful, having his way of existence rejected. He told me a certain secret."

Or perhaps, the sage had wanted to condemn him, he who would deny immortality from the gods, to the same existence. The sage said: 'I understand that you cannot obey the gods. I will not tell you to beg the mercy of mighty Anu. Instead ― let me impart to you a certain secret.' The sage told Gilgamesh a method of becoming immortal without seeking the mercy of the gods. The root of a herb that grew in the deep. That was the true secret behind immortality.

"Consuming it was out of the question since I would only become a plant, but it was a rare treasure in of itself. It would serve to decorate my vault as an exotic wonder. I stopped by the deep, jarred the herb, and returned above ground. That is all there is. I returned to Uruk, completed the walled city and my treasury, and went to my rest. That's about it as to why I had sought immortality. Mmm. All exactly as in the epic, the completely unabridged truth! And so we're done. You will be charged for these questions... hmm?" He stops seeing some question form in me.

"Why not take it? For a man who is obsessed with owning things, why deny having that?"

"... Mongrel, you claim to have read my epic yet do not know? I let the serpent have it. I am he of carelessness, immortality was snatched from me as I bathed. I, who affirm desires, was brought down by the desires of the serpent that crawled the wilds. The simple appetition of 'hunger.' The serpent that consumed the herb gained the property of shedding. Not immortality, but the restoration of youth. As it is quite the rare potion, I have it in my vault as well, you know?"

So he got it anyway, yet never makes use of it. In the epic, the herb was stolen from Gilgamesh by the serpent. The strange part was after that. Without returning to the underworld, he returned to Uruk. Why had he given up on the immortality that he had chased after? What had he seen then? "If you had it, then why not make use of it?"

"Something so trivial, but, well, it is curious indeed. Even I cannot put into words my state of mind at that point. I had no need of such immortality as that modelled on the gods ― even as I declared so, nevertheless some part of me must have been hopeful. Returning above ground, I could not help but smile at my accomplishment. With this, I could overthrow death. With this I could avenge my friend, I thought. And I imagined the voices of the people of Uruk. If I brought back immortality, the acclaim of the people would reach unprecedented levels. In the end, I too was but the child of a human..."

"..."

"The rashness of youth, as it is called. However, once that happens, vanity soon follows. I became bothered by the ragged state of my being, to which I had not spared a single thought until that moment. Deciding to cleanse my body before returning to Uruk, I rested at a nearby spring to recover from my fatigue. It was fatigue that had accumulated over decades. Like the breeze of the sky, the snow of the sacred peaks, the water healed me warmly, coolly, gently. 'Peace,' I suppose you would call it. It was like being released from a prolonged malaise, in both body and mind. I have never been as ecstatic about any accomplishment of my own as at that moment. It was such euphoria as to make one want to shout."

"..." The man who had been set on his ramblings seemed calm as if he had not been crazy all this time.

"To tell you the truth, that was my first experience of joy. Amassing treasures is an instinct to me. Like breathing, it is not joy. However, that was different. For the first time, I was thankful, and joyous that I had been born into this world. Despite claiming to have the perspective of humans, until that moment, I had not been human. I was set free from everything. Burdened with no doubts, no fears, no fixations, no duty, I quivered in the overwhelming sensation of omnipotence. This was my impulse of life. This was the reward of selfish desire. I revelled in the belief that, for all eternity, I could do as I pleased with this joy. However, what awaited such a fool was the theft of the serpent. The herb was lost. The serpent gained a new body and left. What struck me then, was laughter. I laughed and laughed until my sides ached. It was all just so absurd that I couldn't help it. Look, this is the conclusion, I said to myself. I laughed at my own foolishness. All that I stand to gain, all that I stand to take pride in, is 'naught.' Oh, it is not that I cannot attain anything. At the end of it all, not one thing shall remain for me and that, I understood then, is my sole reward. The fulfilment in life, the joy of living that I'd attained for the first time, vanishes in the blink of an eye, like so. This was the world of humanity. This was what I must observe. What would I understand of this unique appeal in an undying body? Immortality is but the incompleteness of the common fool. The dream of the mongrels who cannot face the end. I had no need for immortality. These eyes foresee the future, to begin with. There had been no reason whatsoever to fear death. Existing in that era, unfading in that moment, even without experiencing the passage of time, I'll nevertheless gaze at the distant future."

Clairvoyance of the future... something that I can never attain. My eyes can only see the things right in front of them.

"If as a hero I passed down through the ages, my duty will be fulfilled. That is all there is to it. At that moment in time, I was born a human, and after I learned of joy, I died a human. Apologies. It was a mistake when I had said before that I was complete since birth. I too had my times of inexperience. It took nearly the entirety of my life to complete my development. I reached physical maturity in the days with my friend, while my mind reached maturity at that moment. My youth had come to an end at last. The sky I beheld stretched far and wide. It was such that even with my eyes, it would take many moons to foresee it all. By that time, my body will have long since rotted. And yet the knowledge world of humanity will continue to expand. One day, humanity shall discern in advance even light that lies millions of years ahead. ...Such was the future I saw. And it was an exhilarating sight. Thinking back, I must have lost my drive. I had collected all that should be collected. There was no further joy to be had in that era. Then it is a simple matter of departing with integrity. I'll experience death as many times as necessary. Time and again I shall revive. Time and again I shall observe. Until the end of this world. Until the day comes when humanity reaches beyond my garden planet, setting sail for the dark sea ― until the day comes when humanity reaches the end of the sky and strikes its final note."

...That was his dying dream. Gilgamesh, who'd laughed away the serpent's theft of the herb. Before he knew it, the sun had already risen. Smiling at the human joy that had blossomed within his chest for but a fleeting second, he set to return to Uruk. The end of his adventures. Afterwards, he governed Uruk as the king of heroes, and departed this world. As humanity's most ancient hero. As the illustrious king who was the first in this world to have 'become a story.'

"But you know, I don't want to know the future. The future that Angra Mainyu promised was one of ruin. The future that you promise was one of progress. Both lead to an end to humanity, one physically and one mentally. I would rather struggle on with a world that has endless potential. I would think that you would agree." So he had a worse curse, in that he couldn't look away. He accepted his responsibility without complaint. "But something changed your mind."

"Nothing can change the mind of a king."

"Perhaps not. But it can turn you into a bad mood."

The future that he saw turned into ash. The mud that he had affirmed grew into something that would not take from the weak and worship the strong, instead, it became something that canalised itself and destroyed progress as it came. Humanity turned its own cruelty against itself first. In that consumption regime, it was inevitable that the Golden King would turn sour and discontent.

A spirit is normally corrupted and blackened upon contact, but Gilgamesh is unable to be controlled by anything. However, that doesn't mean he is unaffected. It makes his human side resonate with the people of this era... and all of their worst wishes.

It is normally impossible for correctness and affirmations to exist with the cursed vortex of hatred because all has determined that everything is ugly and hateful, so the words 'yes' and 'that is right' appearing within is an anomaly. It questioned these affirmations and received a response. Gilgamesh, as king, will acknowledge that the world was originally such a way, he will permit it to be so, and he will bear the burden of sin for the entire world.

It asked 'what is a king?', causing a contradiction in that it admitted there was someone else within it.

Gilgamesh is recognized as a strange foreign object that cannot exist, and the King, a presence that is an absolute controller that has no equal, announces his presence and frees himself from the mud. It could not digest him even after utilizing all of its hatred, so it crystallized the impurity within itself and abandoned it. He was given a corporeal body and regurgitated back into the present world. Becoming completely incarnated, he continued to survive as an existence with a physical body.

Later, it would ask 'what is a hero?', and acknowledge another contradiction that it would have to live with. In all the world, there were just those two exceptions. So he and I did have a connection since that day. Thus, he can speak to me in these terms.

However...

Only one would live, and another had to lose their place.

No king rules forever. The king of darkness and evil has already passed on, so it is time for another to face his end. Still... I can't hate him for holding on to his purpose. That is just how I am... I want to save everyone and will do what is right. I can't hate someone with a strong purpose. But that won't stay my hand from stopping him in his tracks. In the first place, it is all my fault and all my responsibility. "Even if that is what you see as goodness. ...Even so, strength does not give you the right. You cannot force yourself on all of humanity. The dead should never dominate the living. You would wish for me to give you the power to force your authority over the world? To bring back humanity to a path in which you can understand and tolerate? ...Even if humanity is destined to end in sudden ruin, even if that is the fault of our foolishness, even so... that is our own path, our own end. That does not void the history that existed in-between. One that we achieved all on our own." That goes against everything I believe.

His red eyes turn towards me. My rebellious will collides with his overwhelming royal authority. I can not stand up to him, I am just a human, after all. He chuckles. "You speak of 'right'? Only the weak try to determine what is 'right'. The strong can take whatever they wish, that is what is 'right'. If no one can stop you, then how can that be wrong? The disease that covers this world is something humanity can not counter without a king to lead it. The world sanctions this act, for it would stop me if it did not. Humanity may lament their loss of freedom, but in time they shall forget, and they shall sing the praises of a king who has brought them into the proper world. Those too weak to live in it shall perish, and those who are strong will barely survive. This is the world that I will bring."

"You say that the world accepts your wish, why are you so sure it has?"

"That little girl? Hah! She was built as a pale imitation of my friend! It is a disgrace for her to exist!" He was angered at her existence, so much so that it hurt his pride as no other thing could. It seemed that he really did hold that one other man in high regard. And she was the one created later, the replacement for his friend... but also himself. "If she can not stand against me, then I will put an end to her miserable existence. If that is what the world is left with as its protector, then it deserves to die. In order to achieve true progress... humankind must break the shackles of the earth."

Deep down, maybe he did want her to be strong. He was unfair. He hated her because she couldn't defeat him first try when he came out of nowhere? He was an unfair man at his core, and he never took a fight that he didn't think he could win. But he didn't truly take enjoyment in it.

"Now; Will you bend your knee in servitude, and fulfil your single role?" My role... to act as his wish granted. I can grant access to a single wish: destruction. A fire that pours over the world burning everything in its path with the retribution for human sin. But I couldn't do it if I tried. My body would kill itself before accepting such a thing.

"If what you wish is to be crowned king once more, then I will give that to you. I will do no more."

"Hmm... despite having no strength left, you still hold your mind. As expected of one who would become of my treasury! Hahahaha. Please, keep that ideal until the very end. The more you struggle, the greater the delight it will be to witness when you break. Haha. Shall we not return to the more vile world?"

With a wave of his hand, the illusion ends.

On the ground, my eyes roll back inside my head and see that other world. I was pushed back into the darkness. This time the dream that awaited me was a grim reality.

---

Record (Music) /AcbRiaolovs

Tohsaka Rin and Arcuied Brunstud find themselves sitting in a house that is not their own, in a situation that neither sees as comfortable. Both are in denial but react divergently. One seeks to bury the contradiction and confusion in sleep and fantasy, like a child who can't handle the reality of the world. The other seeks manically to do everything and anything she can do to solve an issue so far beyond her limit it will crush her.

The while wall that Arcueid stares into stares back at her, yet in her mind, there is darkness she has begun to understand. Darkness that teaches unknown feelings, unknown sensations that are alien to her and thus weaken her little by little. The more she understands, the more that she knows is left to be understood.

The plans that come and go through Tohsaka's brain are complex and intricate, and ultimately hopeless. She is just human after all, and she is stuck trying to stop a hurricane with her bare hands.

She can only do the things that a human can achieve, and at the core of it all, there was a problem to which no human could solve. The greatest insult was that her solution has in front of her, yet unusable. No matter what Tohsaka tried to do to make Arcueid listen to her, it didn't work. It was an abrupt change in personality as if being apart from Shirou had caused a complete turn into someone else entirely.

That is where they find themselves.

...

"Haah..." I sigh.

The single issue that was solved took all morning and was not at all important. Wrangling Taiga to not come to the house by myself took too much time and effort. The school was cancelled due to the earthquake, but it would come back tomorrow when they find there is no true damage. She wanted to check up on Shirou, but I convinced her that it was best to focus on the school. Even with her insisting I was able to wrangle her somehow. I know her weak points and I made a few bribes. Of course, I would make Shirou pay them all off when I get my hands on him, but that was getting ahead of myself... If I can get my hands on him again... Well, that's a bad metaphor! I don't want to touch him... unless it is to beat him up for causing all this.

There are missing people, but not because of the shaking earth that their battle caused. It was that vampire who had killed people without anyone having noticed until now... Even if it was horrible to say, the earthquake was a blessing in providing a perfect cover. It was my responsibility to prevent the exposure of magic... so it is natural for me to think like that.

Since I solved that issue, I have been focused on another one that is small yet necessary. I'm trying to make this vampire listen to me at all.

I know she can hear me, but it is as if I do not register to her as important. We are sitting at the kitchen table.

I try to explain a plan to this vampire, but I soon find it is hopeless. She accepted me as an ally in the same way a human would look at a dog. "Now that is when I will come in and grab Shirou from behind... Hey, are you listening!? Are you going to do what I say or not!"

"...Hmmph..." She breathes out in a way that is dismissing.

"Grrr..."

I didn't sign up for this. A vampire in the kitchen is pulling a tantrum. If I think about it too much my brain stops working. I have to treat her as if she is a person or I would freeze in intrinsic fear.

Last night she was still fine enough to talk to. At one point she was covered in blood... Shirou's blood, and was shaking as if so thirsty she couldn't handle it. She did lose it for a minute there, and me confronting her was a bit brash of me. She even agreed to an alliance, and she seemed angry at the whole situation. I was angry too, so there was some empathy there.

Yet when she woke up this morning, she was not like she had been last night.

Nor was I. All night I couldn't rest and writhed in my bed. My blood was boiling at seeing that man for the first time in many many years... Ever since Kotomine was exiled by Irisviel, cursing him out of Japan, I had not seen the Golden man who had been there to kill my father. He was enemy number one along with Kirei.

I had to rationalize it all so that when the time comes, I won't hesitate in the necessary party forwards.

Shirou knew. He knew, and I blame him too. Victim blaming is not always right, but when it comes to that idiot it is true. He causes his own problems and now I need to bail him out. Well... it was a good opportunity. I have to repay him for some debts he has on me, and I intend on making sure that this time I will tip the scales back to their rightful position with me back on top.

"Still... this is horrible..." It's not my fault, but it is my responsibility. This mess that I did not nip in the bud when I had a chance.

My weaknesses are coming back to haunt me, now that I can't ignore them a second more.

"What is it that I could give you that would make you wake up?"

"..." Somehow I understood that whatever it was that she needed, was something I was unwilling to give. "Mph..."

"Well? You do know how to talk, don't you? We. Need. To. save. Shirou. Understand?"

"Mmmm." She sounded agitated like a child who has been walking too long and needs a drink. But for her, it was like she was just acknowledging something that was annoying her. Maybe that is me... I need to back off and appease her somehow.

What does a vampire want...? Well other than blood. Note to self: do not talk about blood.

So I gave her what I guessed she wanted. "I brought some wa-ter..." I put it down at the table for her.

She should be grateful. I have never done that for anyone before. It is usually Shirou's job, and he insists on it. He's the one who enjoys housework as if he were an old housewife.

She hits the glass of water off the table, and it shatters on the ground.

I sigh. "Hah... Well... it's not my house..." Still, I don't want Shirou to think I made a mess when I bring him back. I use magecraft to clean up after her as if she is a child."Is this what you want?" I brought out food from the fridge. She wanted something, and I was quite willing to make her satisfied before it became an issue.

I was at my wit's end. There is a sandwich that Shirou made, and one Sakura made. She insisted on making it for lunch yesterday in hopes Shirou might have it. They were a little bit of a cute couple sometimes, even if... whatever. Nevermind.

Arcuied sniffed them both, and with thin piercing eyes she took Shirou's and wolfed it down. She ignored the sandwich made by Sakura as if it was not there and pushed it away as if to scorn it. "Hah... You really are like a young child."

"Grrr." She growled at me.

"Yeah yeah... fine. Can we speak seriously now?"

"Mumh." After eating, it was as if she was even hazier than before. Her eyes were distant but dangerous. She ignored me and fell over into sleep.

"For God's sake... I can't believe this..." It was as if she forgot how to talk. As if she reverted to a feral state as soon as Shirou is gone. How can I do anything if I am being brought down by my unreliable ally?

Then a sound. A new nuisance.

Ring.

Knock.

Ring.

Someone was making a ruckus at the entrance.

A knock at the door breaks my immersion in forming a plan. Who?

"Stay here, Arcueid," I say hoping she won't disappear.

It is likely Sakura, she must be here to want to join in our plan. I... will find a good role for her. She will protect the house while Arcueid and I go out. Yes... that is a good role for her.

Sakura...? Taiga, Shirou? No. I am not so lucky.

The door slides open from the outside before I make it there, and there is a blueish haired person there. But not the one I expected.

"Ah, Emiya. I see you have dared to come. There are limits to what I will allow you t do with my sister. You have... err, Tohsaka? ...What are you doing here?" He thought I was Shirou at first and intended to go into a prepared speech, but lost it as soon as he saw me.

Matou Shinji, an unpleasant and unwelcome guest at a time like this.

I don't consort with him as much as I can. He is Emiya's friend? And Sakura's brother. Thus he holds no importance to me. His magic ability is none and Sakura is the one I need to keep track of.

It is easy to forget that I am a student at a normal school, but that is Emiya's fault. I can't lose my reputation even if it is a time of life and death.

'Kind of an idol, good looking, good grades, sociable, and kind to girls.' That is the reputation that he has at school. Unsufferable to be around, but I don't let him get to me. Compared to Shirou, it's always been easy for me to remain in control next to Shinji. Not that it is enjoyable, kind of like dealing with an immature puppy who won't leave you alone. Now that he is my classmate it's impossible to completely avoid him and his unwanted advances. He serves a good purpose though of turning down publicly. Those things that are well-known as difficult to attain the rise in price and prestige, so he is a good tool in raising my status.

"What are you doing here, Matou-kun?" I ignore his question about me.

"Hmph. ...I would have thought Emiya would have answered. He and Sakura have crossed the line for the last time, and I will being even the school down against them."

"Let me guess, Fujimura-sensei sent you here to check upon us. Damn her..." She was smarter than she played herself out to be.

"..." His silence meant I was correct.

"What is your concern anyway? Is Sakura... out of sorts?"

"Huh? What are you talking about!? That girl never comes home, she would rather stay in this house with Emiya... it is indecent. She won't listen to whatever I tell her. She must obey her brother."

"That doesn't sound like my problem." Does she? If I hear it right, then it seems she is the one who tells him what to do.

"Huh? It is if you are here with her, where else would she be?"

The words hit me from the side. A variable that had crossed my perception and ambushed me. My own weakness finally came and completed its full betrayal.

"...Are you saying she hasn't come home?"

"That is exactly what I am saying. Is she here with Emiya, perhaps alone with him? Hah, I always knew this place was a den of worms. But I could take you away; ditch the loser, come on out with me?" He said in what he thought was a suave tone. It made him sound nasally.

I ignored his useless chatter.

I paused. "What do you mean, she hasn't come home?" My heart was being pulled once more, another chain made taut. Another weakness laid bare suddenly hitting from my side again.

"Hmph. Perhaps she has run away with Emiya then. ...Fine by me... I'll take my right full place alone." Despite a small chuckle, there was sadness in there.

"Sakura wouldn't run away..."

"Matou-kun, you really are weak then. She is your sister, why don't you look for her?"

"I am not weak, it's only that... I mean, you can't expect me to..." Called out, he actually looks like a deer in the headlights.

"If you know something, then say so."

"T-there have been rumours... wild dogs and that sort of problem. I mean... I could do it if I cared! But I do not, why should I go look for her? ...I won't..." He won't and he can't. He knows enough to be afraid of the moonlit world, but not enough to make any power in it. He may be arrogant beyond belief, but he's not that stupid as to attempt something with such danger behind it without reward. Only real idiots try to do that.

"..."

"Hah. Fine. Do not worry, Matou-kun. You should be safe within your residence. Look out for Sakura if she happens to come home, isn't that enough responsibility for you?"

"Ehh..." He hesitates. "I-I guess this one time I will do as you say. But not because I am afraid. I will do was a favour for you, so you owe me!"

"You are welcome to your fantasies, but do not think you can gain anything over me. I will find her. If anything, Matou-kun, wouldn't that make you indebted to me? Look out for yourself. You never know what might happen to you if you are alone at night, I hear there have been people going missing." With a sweat smile and voice faking concern, I close the sliding door in his face.

I take satisfaction seeing him nervously leave afraid at his shadow. I don't have any sympathy in me for him, or anyone really... That's just how I am. I nearly laugh. I guess without Shirou around, there is no more voice trying to push me in the unnatural direction of being thoughtful.

I move back to the unmoving vampire. Short of slapping her, I had run out of ideas. I may be mad, but I am not that insane yet to physically attack a vampire.

The day is thinking, and it will get darker soon. I might as well report to her.

I will go out alone soon, no matter what. I will seek out that... spirit... man... whatever, come what may.

"Sakura is missing. If she is not at her home with Shinji and she is not here... then at Taiga's? No... she would have told me." A new mystery. Where is Sakura? The dread was only becoming a worse wedge in my throat. "Hah... Where did you go off to?" My aversion worsens.

Then... as I was about to hit my limit, I hear a voice. "...She would be with him, I imagine. They have a close relationship." She said coldly.

"...What?" I am lost for words that she talked to me.

"I think that she would go to him. ...Are you listening? Shirou and her are in the same place."

I recollect myself. "...Ahem, yes. That would make the most sense. If she is not here, then it only remains logically that she would be there. Wherever there is... Anyways, why are you talking now after I asked you a million times to help me with this!? It would have been helpful for us to get to this point hours ago!"

She ignores my question and moves on. Her mind moves from one step to another ignoring anything that is not her mission. "Do you have a way to find her?"

I growl in annoyance if only to get it out of my system. I imagine that this will be how I will always feel with her as my ally. She is not a good partner at all. I will simply have to uphold my side of the bargain and make due with her. "Grrr... Yes. I can find her, but we don't know if she even is with him."

"She is," Arcueid states plainly as if it is obvious. "If she loves him, then where else would she go? If she can sense him, then it must be making her go mad."

...I didn't know what she was talking about, but for some reason, I didn't want to know. "Alright, I will do it. It will take about ten minutes to prepare."

I find one of Sakura's purple hairs on the floor of her room here, and all the other ingredients are in my little workshop at the Emiya house.

It is a ritual that is rarely used. It is weak, elementary, and useless in almost all cases. It happens that this is one of those cases, however.

"Anfang." The ritual can be done on the quick, but not cheaply. It's not a hard one at all, but it's not long-range either. Putting 200 points of energy will easily result in an echo across Fuyuki, which is enough. If there was a concealing field around her then it won't work... but there is no reason there would be.

I am drawing from one of my best gems. This is sort of expensive... Maybe I could search one side of town first just in case...? I am not skimming, I swear...! It's just economical. Oh well, Shirou isn't here to chide me sarcastically so I don't have anyone to answer to. But this time I decide I can't be holding back... Any hesitation at all could mean death, so I resolve myself that this is going to be an economic disaster first off.

"Zeig mir ein Visier von meinem Blut!"

Astrology is a sort of magical foundation good for this sort of odd thing. The greater your connection to someone, the more easily you can find them. Since siblings are the closest family you have... even now... it happens quickly.

A holy cross. A dark corridor adorned by the symbol of earth under a blue sky. The card of death, the tower, and the reversed card of the devil.

None of this is good. All points towards disasters and change.

The cross, and the graves, a place of stained glass, a long path up a hill, all memories already unlocked in my brain. For a place that is clear in my head from already having been there, this ritual is trivial. The result... was painfully obvious.

The place was one that was unmistakable to the point that I wanted to tear my hair out. But maybe it was that reason that I missed it, as I had considered everywhere else but there.

"That Church. They must be at the Church on the hill."

"Good. I'm off then." I stop her only barely before she can run out without a word, she was so fast it was almost too late.

"Wait! You can't just leave!"

"What? You have given me what I needed. Don't get in my way, I'll bring Shirou back." I need to convince her fast.

"...Well, you need a guide, don't you? You don't actually know where it is, do you?" She would wander and she would probably not make it before even I could.

"Hmph. Then come on! Just point in the direction then." Point? I don't understand at first. I soon do as soon as I do point it out.

We are at the door. Arcueid grasps my arm as if she were pinning me down, and then... "Hah-!" Arcueid pulled me out of the house faster than anything I've ever experienced. That was not the crazy part, that came after. My breath is two steps behind.

"We're going to fly. Hold on tight."

Suddenly, I couldn't feel the ground. "Ah!" My mind panicked at the sudden loss of gravity, the air gushed over me and messed up my hair. "Ahhhh!" From building to building, Arcueid jumps with such force she flies defying gravity with me being pulled along effortlessly. Somehow, she comes to the ground as if light as a feather, not damaging the homes she steps on. "W-W-Wait a, waaaaaah...!"

"Hmm? You'll bite your tongue off if you open your mouth like that." As she tilts her head in puzzlement at my screams, Arcueid ramps up the brutal pace even more. We leap off of each rooftop from building to building. Just like a rabbit hopping on the surface of the moon.

I endure this surreal experience with gritted teeth.

Just as I was starting to enjoy it, at long last, Arcueid stops leaping. "Ugh... I am gonna be sick..."

"You are a bit of a drama queen, aren't you?"

"Scre...w... yo...u." I take deep breaths. My head is loopy.

"Which way now?

"Hmm... I... I think that way, huh... why?"

"That way? Alright."

"W-Waitatttaaaaa...!" Too late, and we fell down towards the earth. She drops as if she is a feather and then bounces again into the sky. The moon is out, and the sunset colours it orange.

Of course... she is just a natural part of the world, so she won't hurt it by existing. I realise how crazy this all was. This is a real fairy, you know, the one that makes magi look like tiny ants in comparison. There is an old warning among Magi not to involve themselves with monsters. But that was lost to me a long time ago now, wasn't it?

It is way too late. Shirou, Arcueid, Gilgamesh, Irisviel. They are not on the same level that humanity exists in. Absolute craziness that a human can't comprehend without being drawn into their insanity. The only question left... was could I handle it? Could I stand up, even for a moment, at the level of that insanity? I didn't know. Kiritsugu probably died because of this, and Ilyasviel ran away so as to escape it.

Although... I wanted to know. Now it was my and Sakura's turn to face it. All I know is that by the end of this things will be changed. If being able to handle monsters is the requirement to attain the status as the best, then so be it. I can't speak for Sakura... but I knew that I am going to prevail. Even if it makes me feel sick.

Even if it makes me feel more alive than I have in eight years.

...

"Ahhhhhh!" The yelling was like a bird in the sky to those who were out. The sky was becoming just dark enough that to those that saw the odd white and red things above the town, it would appear as UFO. The last thing on Tohsaka Rin's mind was protecting mystery from the world, all she wanted, and what she would trade anything for, was to feel the stable ground under her feet.

Though she was not so undignified that she would lose herself and become sick. No. Tohsaka Rin was not like a normal person, she kept as calm as she could and glided in the air holding desperately to the madwoman that was propelling her forwards. The lack of control was what most irked her, rather than the mighty winds.

It was one of the best and worst experiences of Tohsaka's life. It was a rollercoaster that no human would be able to ride. It was absolute terror, but also an amazing thrill. It brought out a real excitement in her she had always secretly relished. Rin was a Magus of the newer generation, as most Tohsakas were, one who desired the root but also enjoyed the blessings of reality. Obtaining this experience was the prestige of knowing that perhaps no other Magus of this generation had the ability of flight in a long time.

If Tohsaka had to hang on with all she had to stay at the level of monsters, then Arcueid was the opposite. It was as if she were skipping playfully, and with so many extra movements it was all off.

Eating and sleeping had cleared Arcueid's mind. She was thinking of all sorts of things, and it was hard to stop. She thought about what her purpose was. Why she didn't just kill Shirou as soon as she saw him, and why she spoke to him at all. Why he felt familiar, and why she couldn't take him back.

"Hahaha!" Arcueid laughed easily. Rather there was now a scenario she could no longer get out of her head. The sweet pain that Shirou had directly inflicted on her took its time, but she had finally come to understand it. She hated Shirou. She really, seriously hated him. He was the receptacle of every sin that man had inflicted on Earth. But it was hate that was everything. Humanity was disgusting, yes. But it was so fascinating that it could not be ignored.

Without this hatred, she was nothing. Just a walking weapon. There was no purpose but to search for that man, no salvation, no desire and no enjoyment. She was built not to have her own mind, and now that was cracking. For good or for ill. Being shown all that the last few days by Shirou had opened her heart to things she had not ever experienced.

Pain and desire. Hatred and love.

Things that were all jumbled in her head as a mess and shook around until forming into a strong passion. A desire for the act of feeling. She was drunk on it already.

She wanted more. She wanted to taste the new flavours of living. There is nothing more potent than new emotions, and she was learning them all at once. It was a dangerous thing. Her will was strong. But the more that she was corrupted by it, the less reason existed within her to try and stop it. Her mission shifted from protecting the Earth from the confusion of Emiya Shirou, then it shifted to understanding him, now she just wanted to obtain him.

She wanted Shirou. She desired to obtain him, like obtaining a treasure.

Similar in objective to Gilgamesh, but not the same. Gilgamesh wished to obtain him in order to make use of him. Arcueid just wanted to obtain him, not caring about anything past that.

Gilgamesh and Arcueid. At first sight, it was a relationship of dislike and hate. True aversion. Not at all like the hate she had towards Shirou or the hate that Gilgamesh felt for the modern state of mankind. That was hate that formed along with love.

This was something other, that didn't exist in the human compendium. The hate between the two golden existences was the same hate that the gods had for one another. Some existences are simply incompatible. He had been the one that ruined it. He ruined it all, and it lead directly to her own birth and her losing Shirou, the one who would guide her into understanding.

If Shirou was there, then she would be calmer. Arcueid could persevere through the bloodlust, if only if he were there to guide her through it. However, it was only in the moment of loss that broke all that. The moment that he was separated from her, her decaying resistance broke. 'What was the point of holding back, when the one that I was holding back for was not there?' That was all that was needed in order to invert and let her desires corrupt her mission.

The curse of retaliation taught her pain.

Food that held real taste taught to desire.

It was the simplicity of it that tore through her like a sword.

The hate and love of humanity that existed within Shirou echoed inside of her, and it brought too many indescribable emotions.

The time apart let her spirit decipher it all. It wasn't enough.

She still didn't understand him, and she needed to know more. It wasn't enough.

The lessons that she was taught finally broke. 'Never do anything that is extra to what is necessary to your mission', but now all she could think about was the extra things. She didn't want to consider the mission anymore.

"Hahaha!" That is why she must laugh. Because it's just fun for her. This was all a dream, one she didn't want to wake up from. The sort of dream which is its own life. A book she opens, but never wants to finish. A fairytale that will go on forever. 'Was this the fun that Shirou talked about?' She wondered. She wants it to never end, those novel feelings.

So she takes her time flying across the sky vaguely in the direction that the desperate girl tries to point to. No matter how much she pleads to be let down, Arcueid continues her jumping seeing a city for what it was really for the first time. The destination, to Tohsaka's great annoyance, became less of the point. Even if it was faster than any other mode of transport, the fee is on the body.

...

When we made it, I was done for. My legs were jelly and even reinforcement did nothing for it.

"Ahhhhhhhhh... Ahh..." Deep breathes... "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..." Deep breathes. 'What is my problem!?' I want to yell, but I gag instead.

It is odd vertigo that combines my magic and my body, making everything confused. If I was not in prime shape, then I wouldn't be able to pull this off. Any other Magus would probably lose their intestines. People don't live through this sort of thing.

I want to lay down forever.

But she ruins it. "Is this it? I thought it would be larger. Good. Hopefully, the Church has run out of money."

"It's just a small church. ...Did you expect a full cathedral?"

"Perhaps not. Hmm?" She looks at me oddly. "Are you scared, little missy?"

Oh...

...How pathetic. She must have noticed that I'm trembling. "No...! And call me Tohsaka, at least..."

"Hmph. Fine, I shall call you Rin." No one calls me Rin, except Taiga sometimes. But I can't exactly stop her. It's better than 'little missy'. "You don't seem afraid of me anymore. I am a vampire, remember?"

"I am aware. Sometimes you have to make due with what you have. I learned long ago how to deal with crazy women who use threats of violence to get what they want. You said you've never drank blood, so I will take you at your word. I will assume you are not evil, and it if turns out that I am wrong, then suddenly it isn't my problem anymore." I'm not going to waste time second-guessing myself.

"I see. That's one way of thinking about it." Whether she understood or not, Arcueid makes a noncommittal sound and drops the topic.

The Church on the hill cuts an imposing figure. It is well maintained, even if leaderless. Kotomine stopped giving sermons years ago, and no one really cared. People got on without that fake priest. I use his identity sometimes to keep up appearances, but that doesn't seem t matter. They care about this place only every 60 years.

...Was Gilgamesh here all along? All along, this... Servant... A Heroic Spirit that I had no chance against. It's just not a contest, and shouldn't even be considered.

She looks like a sprinter priming herself with a serious face.

"W-wait! What are you doing?"

"I'm going to blow it up. If he is like a vampire, then he should be underground."

"Sakura is in there! You can't do that!" Shirou is one thing, maybe he deserves to be blown up for causing all this, but Sakura is...! "Shirou too!"

"...Exploding Shirou would be bad..." Arcueid seems to realize that.

"Yes! Very bad!"

"Listen to me. The plan is simple. We go in together. You will engage Gilgamesh and I will try to sneak and save Shirou and... Sakura, if need be. That is the best we can do."

But... "I don't want to."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's your plan. You're just going to try to take credit for it. I will save Shirou myself. He mine and he wants me to save him."

...What? You bitch! Don't act like he is yours, he is mine! Err... i mean..

But I have to be calm. Staying calm and being rational is a lot easier said than done. "...Ugh... You are the worst." Her argument was so childish that it made me freeze. I realised it fully then. She is a horrible ally, but she would be an even worse enemy. This vampire without common sense needs me to filter her. "I can make a new plan..."

"No. You have done enough, Rin. I don't dislike you, but I don't like you. Shirou holds you in a high regard, so I trust that judgement. But you are not useful anymore. You have guided me, now I will do the rest." I couldn't exactly argue.

"B-but..." I wanted to be involved. I wanted to be strong and be a part of something that was like the war that father died in. How else can I make the world pay me back?

Her eyes flash gold. "...!" The most encapturing things I will ever see. Like being stuck with a spell of certification. I am captured by her eyes, even being a Magus who holds excellent defence against Mystic Eyes. These are of the rank that even other vampires would be paused by them.

"Halt, child of man. Thou shalt obey and standstill. Await for thine master in silence."

"Ahh..." I can't talk.

"Sorry, Rin. I can't have you following me. I will go alone and he'll be with me. Bye!"

I was left behind.

---

Whirlpool of Fate 2 (Music) /3wXmgL-CuY0

The smell of medicine fills the room I awake in. My head feels like it is being crushed by a boulder, and my body isn't much better.

I try to plug my nose in reflex, but it is as if my body has been cut off from my brain.

The smell isn't momentary, but ongoing.

...It's not the smell of meat. But it's not gunpowder either. Is this――formalin?

"..."

It is dark as if underground.

I don't feel any chills or pressures anymore.

...But still. My heart beats like it's expanding to twice its size.

And the worst thing is―My eyes have gotten used to the darkness. The darkness fades. A drop falls somewhere.

Was that a signal?

The things I couldn't see before are engraved into my eyes instantly. "Ah..."

It is...

A living hell that's somehow familiar.

There are corpses.

There are corpses.

There are corpses.

There are corpses.

There are corpses all around me.

The smell of medicine covers the smell of death.

That's the cause of the dripping sound. The water is dripping into the corpses' mouths. The slightly opened mouths take in the water, and it must have been like that for many years as the lips are swollen and rotten, and the jaws are decomposing on some.

"Ah... Ah."

I tell myself that this isn't happening. I don't want to think that such a thing can happen. But I can't deceive myself.

I can tell in a second. Even though there are this many corpses... No one is dead in here.

"...They're... alive..."

They're alive. These things that can only be perceived as corpses, these things that used to have human shape, are still quite alive.

...I remember a news story I heard somewhere. It was a story about a whale. About a guy who survived for a month after being swallowed by a whale. That huge creature has a huge digestive system to maintain its huge body. The great thing is, the creature has two of them. The first stomach is where it keeps all the fish it swallows. The next one is the one that digests all the creatures it stores.

So, the man who was swallowed lived for a month being slowly melted in the lightless, warm, stinking meat, lacking in oxygen. In the stomach full of dead fish, he lived for a month as his clothes and hair melted. A month, not knowing when he would be sent to the stomach. And then, some fishermen killed the whale. And when they were cutting it apart, a smooth and slimy human came out of the stomach like an alien.

...Yeah. It's a tragic story, but this is just as bad.

"...Oh."

Why are they alive? Every corpse is deformed and they lack too many of the human characteristics.

No limbs. Those that have had them cut off. Those that have had the ends decomposed, leaving only the bone. Those who are ground down in the cracks in the floor. Those who have become homes to bugs, splattered on the walls. No matter how they came to be that way, they have no limbs remaining, and all of them are worn-out like rotten trees.

"..."

I don't even need to know why. The corpses are being eaten by the coffin. I don't know how it works. It's just that the corpses are stuck to the coffin, and the coffin is sucking nutrition out of the corpses. The flow of life. The coffin is sucking up magical energy... no, something close to the soul. Slowly. So not to kill the ones it leeches off, and so as not to allow them to live.

...The sound of the wind that sounds like sobbing. It seems like screams coming out of the corpses' mouths. Their throats have already decayed and they cannot let out voices. It has already become just an organ to keep them alive. But still, the corpses are crying out. In an almost inaudible voice, they scream with all their might.

It must be the pain and the fear. They continue screaming, unable to stand losing their form and being eaten alive.

"...Ahhhhh"

I hear a sound. The coffin in front of me gasps. Drooling. An eye drops off as it turns its neck towards me. But still――it stares directly at me.

"..."

The swollen lips move a little. It speaks in a voice that's not even a voice, Where am I? And asks me that question.

"..." I'm right on the verge of screaming. No, I can't even scream now.

Where am I?

It doesn't say it hurts nor does it ask for help, but it just says it doesn't understand why it's here.

Is that the reason? He was like that before he realized it? He lived normally, went to sleep naturally, and was gasping here when he woke up? His limbs are already gone, sucked by that coffin, rotting away from the ends, unable to move―and he can only believe this is just a bad dream.

"..."

I might go insane. From this scene and from this terrible familiar spectacle. Those who were made into human sacrifices. Those who were left to rot.

But... why... ...Why do I recognize them? I have never seen them, but I recognize every one of the corpses. This is the first time I've seen them. They are people I shouldn't know. They are people unrelated to me. But... Why are they... As if knowing me ...Staring at me...?

"Ah...Ah, ah..."

And I have another question. Is it some coincidence, or do the sacrifices have to meet this condition? Why are all the corpses here children of the same age...?

...And then. "Oh. Welcome, boy."

"..."

"What is it, boy? We have much to do, so it does no good for you to stay silent. I'm disappointed. Is this spectacle really so outrageous?" The Golden man says inhuman things in a cheerful voice.

The one from my dream was him of a different age. This was Gilgamesh incarnated by the Evils of Humanity. Does this man not feel anything when faced with this? No. He affirms this. He marks it as acceptable.

"Ug..."

I don't even need to tell him this scene is outrageous...! "These could be considered your brothers and sisters. I do not think they will be saved if you act that way."

"...Eh?"

Just now. What did this man say? The freezing melts over. "...What did you say?"

"I said that you and these corpses are fellow mates. By whatever means, you all survived that fire. It can be applauded to survive such a crucible, could it not?"

"..."

Ever-Present feeling (Music) /3L1DEvzsftw

I see. That's why I thought I recognized them.

This is the continuation of eight years ago, And this place is the continuation of that hospital room.

My head spins. Children who lost their homes and parents. They were supposed to be sent to an orphanage and stay there until they found someone who would adopt them. But I was adopted by Emiya Kiritsugu before that, and I did not know what happened to them afterwards.

I avoided thinking about it. The orphanage was the church on top of the hill, and I could have gone there anytime I wanted to. But still, I hesitated. I felt it wasn't fair for me to get adopted, and then go see children who didn't get adopted.

So if I was to meet them, it would be in town. We would meet accidentally, be able to talk normally, and we would be over the fire incident.

I was looking forward to such a meeting thinking that we surely would meet as it's such a small town―so why have I not met even one of them? "...Koto... mine..."

"That is right, boy. If you had not been taken by that Mongrel of a father, you would have been one of them. Do you understand? You alone survived, once again. Everyone around you dies, but you survive. What do you think? Do you not see that it is the nature of things for the strong to devour the weak in all circumstances?"

...My pulse returns.

My frozen body defrosts in an instant.

"Oh no, I am not criticizing you. It is rather delightful. I affirm your methods. You, who have been the only one to show that this world still has someone of potential. You will make a fine part of my collection."

"...Yo..."

"Eight years now. Kotomine kept them alive to feed me, but it's coming to an end now. It was a ghastly exercise, but I affirmed it as the proper act of taking. Their souls are already used up, and there is no more use for them Nor was there one in the first place, he had done this simply because he could. I never needed his help for energy. And now, he is gone and I have a new master."

Then...! There was no point at all! Just cruelty for no good reason. Taking from the vulnerable for no reason.

Suddenly, I am impaled. "Gugh..." The thing that stabbed me was key, and it froze me and took away my agency. As if to turn me into furniture.

He took pleasure in seeing my eyes flare with pain. "Hahaha. Do not worry, I have no intention of killing you just yet. Now our connection is complete, and you will be providing me with your energy."

He easily held the ability to change the one who would be his anchor to the world. Gilgamesh's new master... was me.

Everything was wrong.

I was dropped into a pool of blood.

The memories of a different life. A family that betrayed a young boy that loved them and turned him into a human sacrifice. The pain he felt, and I imagined in my dreams. But my body never truly had that inflicted upon me. Until now, that torture was not fully realized.

But now I understand why he lost even his sense of self.

I could hear them, but not from my ears. I could hear them from my eyes. The creaking of their weak souls, so lost that no one could save them.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

"Ah...haa, haa, haa, ah..."

All I can hear is my own breathing now.

I might have a fever that could burn someone to ashes, as it feels like my brain is already melting and pouring out of my ears.

'Stop stop stop stop'

"Ha...Haa, ah, haa, ha, ah..."

Something's wrong. I don't have a brain anymore, but my body still keeps telling me about the pain and my head accepts it.

'Help help help help'

"Ah..., haa, ah, haa, ha, ha.."

My head isn't the only thing that's empty. I don't know where my heart or stomach are either. The nausea is unbearable. There's nothing left to throw up, but the nausea increases without limit. I endure the infinite repetition with gritted teeth. ...I can stay conscious. It's my pain, so only I have to endure it. There's no problem there.

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

"Ha...ah, ah, haa, ha, ah..."

So, the problem is the voices. My head is empty and I can only hear my breathing, but these voices still echo in my head. I don't even need to think whose voices they are.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

"Ha... aah, haa, ah, ah..."

I'm going mad. Every time I hear their voices, I'm stabbed in the chest. It's not scary. I just don't have any way to atone to them.

'Hey hey hey hey'

"Aah... ah, haa, haa, ah..."

No matter how much they beg for help and no matter how much I want to help them, I can't help them. I won't ask them to stop calling to me. It's just that no matter how much they call, I can't help them.

...That's why...

I think I'll go crazy if this continues.

'Return it return it return it return it'

"...haa, ah, ah, guh...!"

No matter how much they ask, I cannot assent.

All I can do is to end it for them.

I can only fix the contradiction of the living dead.

I can only make the creator of this hell atone for his sins.

I...

...Can't take back any sad events or miserable deaths.

To be honest, I want to run away. I have no way to save them. I can only listen to them. I have no miracle to grant them.

...Then, if... If I had a miracle that could save them, would I use it...?

...I hear a voice. It's coming from right behind me. But I can't hear what it's saying. My vision is blurry. There's nothing in front of me. All I sense are the voices asking for help and the figures that are already dead.

"..."

I don't know what it means.

"..."

My body moves.

My head is grabbed and my body is lifted.

It... hurts.

The wounds on my chest opens up. The pain makes my vision go white.

"The corruption you keep alive inside you is a tool of absolution. It will wipe away the weakness that makes this occur. Kill the weakness, and there will only be strength remaining left to fill the world."

"N-o..."

"Then what of the fire? Do you truly hold no vision of something you wish was cursed? Do you hold no hatred of the world!?" Hold on. What's he saying? The fire eight years ago has nothing to do with this. This is meaningless. Nothing should come out of it. "I will open your wound, mongrel. If you can not grasp your own power to change things then you are useless. Even lesser than the pitiful humans of this age."

My back arches. My mind reverses like electricity is running through it.

...In place of my fading mind, a red vision appears.

The wound from eight years back.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop...!

There's no meaning in this. No one will be saved if I remember this now...!

Everybody died. Everyone was dead.

I was the only one wandering through the fire.

The houses had burned down with burned up corpses under them, and sounds of crying came from all around.

...

The wind was so loud that it was like a train was sounding its horn. The air burned my throat simply by breathing.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

I walked alone.

I sought help and I wanted someone to save me, so I kept walking, not looking to the side.

Stop.

All the while. How could I think that no one was asking for help from me, when I could still move?

Stop.

'Help help help help'

Yeah, I noticed. There's no way I couldn't have noticed...! I walked though it all.

I ignored the voices sobbing in pain. I ignored the voices going mad trying to escape. I ignored the screams of those not wanting to die. I ignored the pleas of mothers wanting me to take their children. I even ignored the dying eyes that could not ask for help. I kept walking, only seeking help for myself...!

'Wait wait wait wait'

I was tired of looking at corpses.

I was already tired of seeing people die in pain.

I thought I couldn't save them.

I thought they would die no matter what I did.

That's why I never stopped.

...Stop.

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

I thought I had to live even a second longer because I had to go that far. If there were people who died without being able to do anything, As long as I could do something, I thought I had to live.

...Stop.

But my heart was almost crushed. I held back my tears and walked on in search of an escape. It was hard to live on while ignoring the pleas for help.

I knew...

It would be easier if I apologized, so I never apologized.

I believed...

...That would be my only sincerity, as I could not do anything.

...Stop.

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

...And as I wished, I alone was saved. The only ones at the hospital were children unfortunate enough to be in areas near where the fire occurred.

I didn't want to know about it, but the man in the white coat told me. In that area. I was the only survivor. Apparently, everyone down to the last name died in the days after. My body had no burns on the outside but on the inside...

...Stop already.

I saw people dying in pain.

I saw just as many sad people. Because there was a funeral for all those who died in a big building. Every kind of sadness and affection for those that died.

I thought that...

...Just stop.

'Hey hey hey hey'

I had to remember every single bit of it.

It's only natural.

That many people wanted to be helped, and not one of them had their wish granted.

So... since my wish was granted, I thought it was only natural for me to take on their deaths. To burn in their places for as long as I could. To be the one to blame for it all.

No.

I could not hold my head up unless I thought so.

...No more...

'Give it back give it back give it back give it back'

That's why I frantically chased after Kiritsugu.

For those I couldn't save and for the things I couldn't do, I admired a superhero who could save someone. What was me crumbled away as I ignored the pleas for help. I became nothing. I kept moving forward with an empty mind. I began to empathise more with the fire itself than the people in it, so then I could walk by them without crumbling.

...No more.

'Please please please please...!'

The people I didn't save taught me that I had to go on. ...What was lost within all that?

I just thought about going forward in place of all the people that died. I couldn't think of anything else. I sealed any memories before that so that I would never think about them. I tried to scorch them, but what is burned in never leaves.

People kinder than anyone else. Memories of those who were my parents. Memories of the one who was my sister. So as not to recall them and go back...

...I sealed them tight, thinking I was already dead.

...Don't open it!

It's not painful.

Emiya Shirou was happy, being adopted by Emiya Kiritsugu.

So...

"So... You have never thought it was a mistake?"

I'm telling you, don't open that...!

"...!" Pain. The pain in my chest pulls me back to reality. "Ha...ah, gu...!"

My nausea doesn't stop. My limbs are numb, and my head is burning. My breathing is ragged.

'Return it return it return it return it'

Their voices are echoing in my head. "Ha...guh...!"

...I throw up blood. Is it because my body is dying or because I cannot endure those voices?

My chest hurts.

My chest hurts.

My chest hurts.

I can't plug it even if I try. What hurts is the pain inside. It will keep hurting as long as the memory is there, and it will never heal.

"..." Is it an illusion? I see a figure that should not be here. A white woman who I might have come to understand.

"...! Guh...!"

So, I have to bear this.

I can't think about wanting to die.

If she is here even in illusion―I have to act like I'm all right―for her sake, the one who was left all alone. I can't set a bad example in front of a girl.

"It is a deep wound. To sit there and do nothing will see it eat you alive. Consume those who are weak, and you will live."

I hear his voice. The voice is totally unlike him, filled with compassion. The path to life is set by him, and him alone.

Consume... the voices?

"You said you do not need the Holy Grail. ...But is that true? If you can redo what happened ten years ago, will you not seek the Holy Grail? You can save everything that was lost in that incident. You can eliminate that disaster, not associate yourself with Emiya Kiritsugu, and be your true self. Is that not the only way to save yourself? Become stronger than the entire world, and you would be a god worshipped by all men."

Redo the incident ten years ago...? Redo my self who survived by not saving anyone? No, more than that, if I could make that incident as if it never happened so that no one would be hurt...

"...Why..."

Even if it were the truth.

I shake my head. I reject that vision with my burning head. I spit at my own weakness.

Because...

'It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts'

...I hear their voices. My fingers feel the wet floor.

...Help.

They all want to go back to that day.

"..."

...Yeah. I wanted that too, though it can't have been as bad as you guys.

Even after Kiritsugu adopted me. I went to the burned field often to look at the scenery. I went to the place where nothing remained, opened the door that didn't exist, walked through the hallway that didn't exist, and smiled at my mother who wasn't there anymore.

I let my new mother bring me into the future, but that was just me running away from the past.

...I wanted to return to the days before it happened. I awaited the day when I would wake from this bad dream. That didn't happen and I accepted reality. But if I could obtain a world where it didn't happen and where nobody got hurt, that would certainly be...

"Now, answer. If you wish for it, I shall give you the Holy Grail. I hold even it within my possession, and your wish would be a fitting catalyst. This land would not reject you."

The King of all Heroes says so. He says I can be a hero. That he would affirm my desires.

'Return it return it return it return it'

If I wish, these voices will go away. Orphans like me. If fate had taken a slight turn, I would be there as well. So I don't even need to think about this. I don't need... to think about it, so why...?

"...I don't need it. I can't wish for such a thing."

I stare straight at the dead corpses. And I reject them.

...That is my answer. It doesn't matter what the Holy Grail is. It doesn't matter if I could call on it... I can't wish to regenerate the dead nor to change the past. ...Right, you... can't redo the past. The dead won't come back. What's done cannot be redone. I can't wish for such a thing."

My cheeks are hot. Every time I say such a miracle is impossible, tears pour out from vexation. I wonder why 'miracles' wishing for such normal happiness are too much for people. For some, it is simply... eternally out of reach...

"The Holy Grail makes that possible. Everything will be as you wish. You would reject taking what you desire for such a weak reason?" The king says so. But I can't agree.

Even if I could redo the past, I must not take back what has already happened. Because if I do that, everything would be a lie. Those tears. Those pains. Those memories. ...That cold reality that hurts my heart, all of it.

There were people who died in pain.

There were people who risked their lives to save others.

There were people who mourned for the deaths.

But then, if everything were taken back and it did not happen, where would all of those go? The dead people would not come back. Reality cannot be overturned. To continue on remembering the pain and the weight... isn't that how lost things remain?

...People will eventually die, and death itself is sad. But pain shouldn't be the only thing that remains. A death is painful, but it also leaves behind bright memories. As I am bound by these people's deaths... As I am protected by my memories of Kiritsugu... As I am loved by those who sacrificed for me...

I believe memories become constraints and change the people living now. ...Even if... They are memories that will eventually be forgotten. "...This path... I don't believe it's the wrong one."

"...I see." The king's face was disappointed, but there was a trace of calm in it. The strength in that ideal was one worthy of claim.

"I don't need the Holy Grail. I can't stray from my path for the people I've left behind." I declare so within my pain. I control the pain and my fading consciousness and manage to stay up on my knees.

Then, I finally realize. ...I can't hear the voices. The voices aren't echoing anymore. ...I don't know how they took my answer. But it is sad that they closed their eyes without a single grudge.

...That is... The answer the boy she had needed to understand arrived at.

"..."

The anger she bore until just a moment ago has disappeared. She is at a loss for words, staring at him. In the first place the emotion of anger was new, and so was this relief.

'This path... I don't believe it's the wrong one.'

With his bloody body. With his ragged breath. Controlling his tears. '...I can't stray from my path for the people I've left behind.'

He has apologized to everything he has stepped on, but he still declares that he will not change his path. He takes in the pain, even knowing it will never dull.

"..."

Just as Emiya Shirou had peered into her soul, she had peered into his.

He was the same as her. He blames himself for something truly horrible that ruined the life he should have had.

That is why she thought he would nod.

No, she thought he had to nod.

She wanted to say that it was not his fault. If he could hear, she wanted to say that it is not something Emiya Shirou should be burdened with.

That was logic even she could agree with. He wasn't the one to blame at all... But still, he denied it. No matter how painful the past, ...one could not redo it.

She once met a foolish man who got in her way. She had hunted the serpent into a french town, and he was there killing vampires. He was like a bug but was difficult to crack. She swept him aside, but did not kill him. She did not kill humans, after all. Yet she said something to him taht she can't recall. 'She' said nothing, but the one who speaks through her spoke words that lead to this moment.

Why she have to listen to him. Why she feels as if she is an egg finally hatching for the first time in 800 years. Emotions that she didn't know she had made her face wet for the first time.

"..."

Angry, confused and mad in desire.

'What do I do?' She thought for the first time. Before she just listen and acted as the weapon she was. A weapon does not think.

But Emiya Shirou is one who breaks rules, and the weapons he comes to understand also come to understand him. He may be a faker and a thief, but he wields his weapon with respect.

She hated humanity for what it was. He knew better than even she did, and was tortured for it. So why? Why can you say that you won't take it all back with a face so sad? As if to say 'there is no hope, but that is fine.'

She wants to rip the contradiction apart and drink its blood.

She wants to drink his blood.

She wants to sink her teeth into his neck and turn him into a vampire and bring him back with her to the castle. If only to save him from the fate that he will end up as a human. Save him first from himself.

She knows that it is wrong. It is not what he wants.

She nearly leaps out from the darkness she stands in. Yet she lacked the focus that would bring victory. She couldn't think of the things that she had lost anymore; they drifted out of her mind and into the void. All she could was a future full of all the struggles that he had sworn to uphold. She nearly collapses at the strain. The sudden impulse ran down her lips and down into her soul. The infinite swirl inside of her... wishes to possess that boy. The disease that had infected her finally reaches its conclusion.

Yet at the last moment, and near the cliff's edge where there would be no turning back, she stops with the last surge of rationality she can muster. So that white light leaves. She felt true fear for the first time and did not know how to handle it. So to save him from herself, she must forsake him.

All that she can do is step away, if only in the last attempt at clutching to sanity. She wants to run away across the sea and out of the world that births something like him. Something that would make her feel so sad.

The Golden man smiles knowingly without a care. "...So be it. The greater the will, the more that you will fall. It seems some do not hold the resolve to take what they wish to obtain." The king let go of the boy. "Haha... I would have preferred to have broken you, but that was unnecessary from the beginning. All I need is what lies within. I will turn that ideal into a potent sorrow that will cover the world."

The woman who would sacrifice her entire will to stop herself from the act of 'taking' and the man who affirms 'taking' in all circumstances.

She shone brighter and purer to my eyes until the end, leaving only the fool's gold behind.

Holding a knife in his hands, there is no dodging its terrible edge. No... it is no knife, but a key... I look into the flawless gold, and then...

"Ahhhhhhh!" I scream at the sudden burning.

Bab-ilu: Key of the King's Law ~

A key. Pure magical energy without any corruption. Something that does not translate into human comprehension.

"It is the punishment you deserve for daring to gaze upon a true treasure of Babylon, Faker. Your hands should be cut off, and your eyes burn away. Alas, we have no time for such justice just yet..."

Akin to a nuclear flash directly in front of my eyes, I take in things that I can't handle. So much that it should wipe my mind clean and render me mindless for the rest of my life. My brain will melt inside my own skull. My mistake was looking at it. My eyes burn, and my entire soul shakes like a lightbulb being shorted out by too much energy. "Ahhhhh!" I tear at my own eyes strong enough to crush them to stop it, yet my hands don't make it.

He saps my strength away like swatting a fly. I had become accustomed to seeing vampires, Heroic Spirits, and Noble Phantasms. These things that once made my eyes burn and my body double over in pain simply by looking at them slowly came to become acceptable things to my eyes. But this tore through my resistance immediately and punished me for the sin of seeing it.

But... never that thing. That thing was unable to be accepted by a human, without an exception. A Divine Construct, that smote me down by witnessing it. This blindness would last for some time, I knew. The curse of these eyes, that they can never stop reading even when they shouldn't comes back to bite me.

My eyes hurt more than my chest, and everything is a white blaring world that can only transmit pain. Twisting the key inside my chest, blood is forced out. He makes me bleed. He etches it into me and turns it inside my own body as if I am a door to be opened.

Eventually, the train ends and I fall into the pool of my own blood on the ground.

It hurts. It hurts.

Like being stung by a cobra, my nervous system is dying.

"Ha...hagh..."

It seems he is struggling with something.

"..." The man is seething. I can tell by how he breathes. "What is this? You dare to challenge me? All doors shall unlock to my key, all gates kneel and open!"

"Hahahaha..." I laugh.

"...!"

"You see, Gilgamesh, it is true that your key opens all doors. But there are some gates that can not be opened, even by such a thing. A key of a king who is acknowledged by the world, that is your authority. Angra Mainyu may acknowledge you as king, the world may acknowledge you as king... but you know... I don't acknowledge you, Gilgamesh. You are not my king, and never will be."

Smack

The punch came directly from his to my face, and I fell into a pool of my own blood. It was the first time he directly made contact with me without a treasure used as an intermediary. There is a sound. Something stirs from within; how did I not notice before? That familiar feeling. I denied it, refusing to accept such a thing.

"Ah. She is awake then. The girl was lost looking for you, I had a whim not break you two apart."

"Wa...?" A bad feeling.

"It was an only good fortune I found her. What manner of bad man would have picked up that mess of a girl? She looked lost, so I brought her here. She should be waking up soon.

She... who? The golden image from before was gone, her soft light had flicked out and my hope faded with it. Wherever that image had gone, it had left in order not to be swallowed by relation.

Steps coming down the way. Hesitant, and faded, they are those of a blind and lost child. It is too dark to see, and that is the blessing.

Stop! Don't come! Run away!

I have no voice. There is no warning.

"Senpai...?" Closer and closer, a terrified voice echoes down.

The Golden man is nowhere to be seen.

No... It can't be...

No, Sakura! Run! "..." Such a thought was silly. She was already here.

When her feet reach visible, she freezes. The terror eats her alive, and the silence is death.

"..." The scene is of her hell, yet no matter how long she looks it does not change.

From her own confused viewpoint, all she can perceive is my body left bloody and motionless under a small light. A human effigy, appearing like one who has been sacrificed. Her eyes meet mine, yet I don't blink or breathe. I am in a state of inanimation. I am dead, more or less. I can still talk though, and I feel something inside me rethreading my bleeding organs.

When it hits her, she screams. "...Ah! Ahhhhh!" The fear chokes her up, and she runs to me. "Senpai...! S-Senpai! W-what is this?"

"Sakura..." Her horror has no answer.

"No... This can't be happening... This isn't real... It's a nightmare! Wake me up Senpai! Please!" She started tearing at her skin to force herself awake. She calls for me, who had always woken her up when she had terrible nightmares, but I'm sorry... I can't wake up either from this. "Wake up... Please..."

"..."

She holds her pulsing head with desperate eyes. It is as if an anvil has dropped on her skull, her brain is ready to collapse.

Both this situation and something else is pushing her to the limits. Her eyes are hazy. "This can't be happening... I looked for with Nee-san... but she left me like trash... I knew you were in trouble... I looked... and looked everywhere... You were not home... I looked for you so long that I couldn't think... then I heard you. I felt you from our connection... You apologized to me, but I didn't know why. This pain isn't your fault. I was happy. I knew that you would call for me, that I could finally do something for you... This was my chance... So why? Why would I be given this chance for nothing? Why...? Why!? Why can't I do anything!? Why does God hate me! Why does the world hate us?" Her thread is taut. Her anger can't even mobilize her anymore. "Sorry Irisviel... I failed to protect him even once. Can't you forgive me...?"

Her face runs white, then turns itself off, no longer willing to put up with reality anymore.

For a few moments, there is no answer... and then, a burst of terrible laughter. He can't contain his amusement at the performance in front of him. "Haha hahaha... Hahaha... How deliciously tragic..." The Golden man arrives from the darkness laughing. "Women are simple things ruled by emotion. The greater they struggle the more beautiful they are."

He takes my blood into a golden cup and brings it to her mouth forces her to drink.

I didn't save her when the time came. My promise shattered, and so I get what I deserve.

This is a man I hate. I abhor him. It is personal hatred, something that had not been manifested in me in a long time. I may not hate his position at the cosmic scale, but he crossed a line that Emiya Shirou can not tolerate.

"Do you know why I did that? Entertainment? That is one part of it, but not the full picture. I pushed her to embrace her darkest emotions, what you could never do. I will grant her strength she has never known, and she will understand how weak humans are. Take what you want, there is no use in striving to become a 'better' person. That is the folly of weak, or worse, those who could have the strength yet refuse it. Do you see now? You had no choice but to become this. I enjoyed your resolve, but it is all for naught. All I must do is put a small suggestion in her mind, 'the one you love is dead and the one you hate did it' It is a simple pleasure. A desire for an antagonist in her story. The destruction of a young couple is not a fruit I have tasted in many ages..."

"Ugh..." There is a machine inside me being turned on. Energy is flowing rapidly from her to me.

I will feel this pain for the sake of all this who can not. That is my only resistance. I will have to hold out until I am saved. It is pathetic but that is it.

"Good. Now, she has plenty of your energy in her. As king, I would take my share of that now. You understand what I am saying, don't you?"

"You...!" A primal feeling. Threatening the mate of another man is the oldest form of wrath. Even if we have been too young and gutless to truly get together, the feelings were already there waiting to be pulled out.

"It seems you care for the girl? Yet you don't take her with your strength? You are a lost cause. I would be giving her mercy in that case. At this rate, she would never feel a man for the rest of her life."

"...!" My anger clouded my mind and I wished he would just die. That I could kill him and make him suffer. I was giving him what he wanted, but still... The idea of it, I realized, was antithetical to me. "Get away from her!" The entire world seemed the to creek for a moment. As if a massive ocean was pushing on time itself. But that is as far as it could yet go.

"Yes, good... good... It seems you are losing yourself more and more in hatred! Then what will you do if I defile her now in front of you? Seize your strength, or watch like a coward."

"...No. I won't. You won't. You won't do it. You see her like a bug; you would not do it. If you did, then you would die... So I won't respect your intimidation. If you did try, then you would die." For the first time, Sakura being regarded as trash by another saved her. Liar, don't think I wouldn't notice as soon as my anger calmed. The situation was horrible, but still... he wouldn't do it. I knew it as a pure fact.

"You continue to look at me with those eyes."

"There is no need for that. I don't need to look at you anymore. Do as you will. Wish what you will. We will see how it ends for you. I may not be able ot forsee the future, but I can see the ugliness in the present, and you-" The last thing I see this time is a fist. He uses his own this time, for the first time dirtying himself. I would laugh if I could still think.

Emiya Shirou would not wake up from this nightmare until the promised time.

---

Confession (Music) /YCBbxLsl3aU

Arcueid walked back up the stairs and out of the church and did not save anyone.

I was bound by her Mystic Eyes of Enchantment, which was impossible to break unless I used multiple gems. I did not know she had such high-level Mystic Eyes, that was my mistake. I made a cost-benefit analysis and decided to wait until I hear something bad.

"So, there was no one there then?"

"He was there. So was she. The gold guy was there too. ...There was a lot of blood."

"Ah... I see. Wait... Then what are you doing here then!?" I yell when I realize what she just said. Ther is a cold fear in my heart.

"I can go no further I can't. ...I can't do it. If I do... I won't be me anymore. I would become a disaster the kind you can't imagine. I don't care about Shirou anymore. So I'm bored. I'm leaving, and you won't see me again."

I break the enchantment with pure anger.

I slap her across the face. No matter what I do in the future, I know there is never going to be a dumber moment than that. I just slapped the strongest vampire. "You said you would handle it! Is this where you give up?"

"Hey! Stop that...! Aren't you afraid I will drink your blood?"

"Will you? I think I am treating you quite fairly if you ask me." She doesn't fight back as I chide her. "I don't care how you feel. You can't just run away as soon as something makes you sad."

She was sad, not bored. She was never given this lesson. She was never treated like she was a person and now I need to tell her what she needs to hear in Shirou's place. I realize why she came to see him at that moment.

"No... you are right. Your blood isn't what I want... It's too boring. There is no sense of... excitement." Her bloodlust had suddenly become discriminatory. It wanted the blood it had suddenly observed as special. It wasn't like human hunger as much as it was more like sexual lust. Arcueid had only one focal point she wanted for herself. Normal human blood would not be enough to satiate this growing fever. So Tohsaka was safe... for as long as Arcuied could contain it to just this.

"But there is something you want then...?"

As soon as she realized what it was, she ran back up here.

It is a law of nature that we desire the things we can't have the most. That applies to her as well. If the thirst is allowed to continue as it is, it will become that she will start accepting all blood. That is the point that a True Ancestor changes into a Demon Lord. It would be a calamity that humankind would not be strong enough to cope with. Her fear of that fate still outweighs her desire. The moment that inverts, she becomes someone else entirely.

What is it she desires? Without acknowledging it, she is frozen. By acknowledging it she becomes something that seven she is uncertain of.

"I want... I want..."

We are so encaptured in that thought that he arrives in the medium.

The Golden King (Music) /z0tnpSZC6VY

"Ah. So I see I was correct in seeing a blonde ease dropper. You served to make his misery much greater."

He throws the red coloured thing onto the ground. Uh. I realize what it is with

"Shirou...?" He is covered in blood being brought behind Gilgamesh. He is torturing Shirou and trying to turn him insane. He looks to be dead without a doubt.

"He needed to be taught a lesson and this was the best catalyst for that. He will fall soon enough."

Arcueid steps forwards this time. Not knowing fully what her goal is, but still not tolerating this terrible scene. "...Arcuied, he has all the original Noble Phantasms. He is the king of heroes with the longest history. Even you cannot take him on head to head..."

"...I see. No wonder he is so full of conceit. A man who was given everything and used to destroy his own country out of his own will. It won't matter, you think too lowly of me." I hadn't seen her in action admittingly.

"Arcueid, this is no time to be bluffing...!"

His red eyes look at me. "Ah, and it is the-"

"You... Don't you dare speak... You killed my father!" This bastard... I want t kill him s badly. My anger at the Golden King was strong enough to melt the self-preservation part of my brain. I yelled at him even knowing the danger. Maybe my head had already turned to mush since all I had been doing all day was crazy.

...The air behind him distorts. Weapons appear in empty space― A sword flies through the air and I die if not for the claws that deflect it. I shut up in shock. I didn't even see her move, or the blades fire. All I know is that she saved my life. Blades fall to the ground forming holes in the road.

He laughed. "Ohohoho... Do not interrupt me. I see, it is the daughter of that useless man. Ah, and I see that you are the same as he was, an incompetent feckless fool. You do not regret your decisions, yet you shall fail every time it is time to reveal your strength. You will lose at every opportunity, and lose everything of note to you."

His words were like a knife. He... knew me? He didn't even have to do anything past a glancing look.

"Agh..." My weakness was exposed. It was true. He was right. He knew. His eyes... were like Shirou's. But in the opposite way, his gaze made me feel an incredible discomfort. Clairvoyance that pierces one's true nature effortlessly. Shirou made you feel something similar, but he never used it to hurt. He only ever pushed you towards a path of goodness.

"Hmm. That seems to be an accurate assessment. Is it true, Rin? You fail when it matters?" Arcueid asked me seriously.

"I-I..." You aren't supposed to listen to him! Now she is undermining her own ally. "I mean... I-I try my best you know!?" I answer unnecessarily. The whole point of this whole situation is so I can finally gain a victory to my name, but instead, this is all turning into a nightmare.

"Hahahaha! Women turn on each other so easily. Tis the folly of the weak to betray each other for scraping of power."

"Weak? I assure you, there is no one stronger than me, Gilgamesh. That is a concept that does not exist." To be on Earth meant that she was strongest always. "I do not need to hide behind a suit of armour."

"So you know my name? I do not conceal my splendour. Kneel and perhaps I would consider making use of you. Your backup from Gaia would make you into a fine sculpture for my throne room. You will fit well next to the boy who is able to tolerate all the evils of the world." He once again brought Shirou out into the light of the setting sun, throwing him under her golden aura.

He looked like hell. There was a big wound on his chest and scars across his body from where blades would have cut him. "..." What was I going to do if he is dead? What would I say to Fujimura?

Arcueid seethes. "No thank you. It seems that you are nothing but a pervert given a few weapons. You claim to be the greatest of all humans, but nothing about you impresses me. And If anyone would do that to Shirou, it should be me."

"The feeling is mutual, bitch of Gaia. You will have to be my substitute for the king of knights. I will make you into something I can enjoy for as much as it is worth. Ah, it is like eight years ago indeed. A boring lowlife got involved last time, but there will be no such interruptions this time. But then―it seems a worse faker is here...! Hahaha."

Eight years... Father died eight years ago.

"Arceuid, don't lose yourself. If he is here to gloat, then that means he doesn't have what he has been trying to get."

"I do not deny it. The boy has a stronger and more obtuse will than I believed. But if you believe that will stop me, then that would be a mistake. Think of it as a courtesy that I bless you with my presence."

The tension between the two was so great the air itself was beginning to swirl with the wind that was assailing Gilgamesh. But it was not power that could break through even a fraction of the armour of the Golden King.

"Then prove it. If you can't then I shouldn't have feared you from the start."

It was the ability she gained by reconstructing her body for this. Her style of dress changed from a conservative look to one that appeared more like royalty. A white dress designed for combat, while looking good in the middle of it.

A stalemate once more.

If Arcueid is the unstoppable force, then Gilgamesh is the immovable object.

"Why...?"

That was a feat impossible for any but her.

Arcueid held the baseline fighting ability on par with five servants. However, she was weakened from this level drastically due to her mind being taken over by the contradiction. Like swallowing a hard pill, she was not in the best condition. Gilgamesh had the firepower of five servants under his command and was the strongest of all heroes. His strength was covered even without a master due to his ability in Independent Action.

"...I will let you go." Arcueid decided and stood down out of nowhere.

"What...? What are you doing...?" I was caught off-guard by the switch in mood.

"Hmm. You observe my brilliance and richness? Then kneel. You would fit within my Golden Rule. I did foresee that it would end so easily, perhaps I think to lowly of myself. You are not like the king of Knights, it seems you are quite more like a child."

"I would ask, however, where you will go?"

"And why should a king listen to a monster? I will give you nothing. I would ask to what purpose you believe letting me leave serves? I will only grow in strength. Do you think the cover of the moon will empower you so that you could defeat me?"

"No. That's not it."

"Then spit it out."

The tension is taut. A black cate runs off back down the hill. The sky threatens to cry, and the people in town feel indescribable fear.

"I just think there isn't really much good in beating you so quickly when Shirou is asleep to see it."

"..." I couldn't believe what I just heard. She said such a thing with serious resolve.

Even Gilgamesh seemed taken aback by the statement of truth. But for other reasons than me.

"...Pfff. I do not fear you. If you seek death, then I will invite you to my celebration of victory. There is a temple to the east, I will await you there. You are strongest in the darkest part of night, are you not? Then come at end of this day and at the start of the next." He smiled a gentle smile. He didn't mind taking her at her best. He wished to make it a victory so complete there could be no complaints.

Taking Shirou, he left as if sliding away on a golden trail that extended into the sky. It seemed she wasn't the only bullshitter around...

I sigh for the umpteenth time. "Hah. What do we do now...?"

"None of your business." She decided to not say. None of my business!?

"What are you moping on about? I thought you were resolved to do whatever you needed to do? Come on, what is it now?"

She is holding her sides, but she has barely moved and didn't fight him. What is her problem? "I was not prepared. I looked bad in front of Shirou..."

"I'm not angry." Okay maybe I am very angry, but let's skip that part. "Sometimes to win the war, you must lose the battle. What Shirou thinks is irrelevant. In this case, at least." I do ask him if I look good... sometimes. Am I seriously giving a vampire a pep talk? "But he... might be dead. He wasn't looking."

"Oh? No. He is alive. And he is watching... from somewhere far away. Out of grasp even to me. He just looks dead right now because he lost a lot of his blood."

"..." If I get Shirou in my hands then I'm going to make him lose a lot more than blood. Is there something I am forgetting? Oh well, whatever. "We should get moving.

"...No. You have done enough. I thank you for your cooperation, Rin of the Tohsaka clan. But it is now my time to be the True Ancestor I am. It is not any place for a human."

"You are not a reliable partner either in this..." She is as fickle as a cat. As arbitrary as the most spoiled kid. "If you would just listen to me rather than running off like a madwoman on your own then this mess would be much more manageable."

"Eh? if you are going to make fun of me then maybe I should just kill you then."

"That wouldn't be necessary if you weren't acting like this. This weakness is not mine, but yours. If you can not even take up arms for yourself, then I will."

"Mew... It is not that I can't. You have no idea what you are saying... I know what I must do now. And it has nothing to do with you anymore."

She smiles dementedly. Whatever it is, it is not good.

"I feel great. I see... the issue wasn't me. It was that I was affiliated with you. Don't worry, I will handle everything. It was a mistake for me to affiliate with humans from the start, but you were fun for a time. Goodbye, little Rin." Her eyes were red. Her smile was unnerving and unhinged. "Tonight I will take everything I want with my own hands." A dress that waves with the moon.

She said her goodbye calmly and jumped across the sky, abandoning me. "You..." That was a hittable offence. Litte Rin!? How dare her!? "Idiot!" I last my chance. I had no more enemy.

She seemed like a pushover. But what if... it wasn't that she was weak. It was that she was trying her very hardest from losing control and accidentally kill everyone. The realisation sent a bad shock through my head. I don't have any allies. Fine by me! Tohsaka Rin is perfectly fine on her own. She has prepared for this sort of thing her whole life.

But what can she do? Who can I beat? However, there was no longer anyone left to hear my fuming. I was left alone in a courtyard full of holes. "Hah..." I don't know what to do. "...Shirou, what do I do now?" But the boy that I relied on to find an answer was gone, and so was everyone else. What was my challenge now?

My wish was for someone I could defeat to appear. So I can't be mad.

The Butterfly Flutters (Music) /rpTPTdzkmag

Then I heard something like the sound of slopping mud.

She is shambling out of the church as if dead. Her hair is white, if not for a red ribbon. Her skin is pale, and she wears a dress of black mud. 'Irisviel?' No. The one who had looked up to that dark strength with the most admiration.

A caterpillar who has hatched into a black butterfly.

A girl covered in mud. Covered in hate. She comes smiling at me. "I see it is you. Nee-san... Haha... Hahahahaa! I knew it was you. You killed him. You killed him...! Ah, but that's fine. I knew this would happen and I was too weak to stop you. But you know, that isn't true anymore. I don't need to hold back. I'm so strong that even you will be crushed like a bug."

"Sakura... so that is where you have been. This is what you become as soon as you face adversity? I see. ...Hmph. I don't have time for you."

"What...? You...! Why are you like this? This is what you forced me to become! The town that has never done anything but hate me! They hate me, they hated Senpai and Irisviel. I tried to tell Senpai, but he was always so kind. Too soft for his own good and you killed him for it. If you would just chide me... If you would just say that this is right... Why are you always like this? We could have saved him together...! I don't want to hurt anyone... so why? Why did you kill him!?"

"Killed? It seems your perspective has become tainted. He isn't dead. But you are correct. Killing Shirou would be the cleanest fix for all this wouldn't it? But that's not what I will do. I expect a reward for all this, so I will be taking him for my own."

"Not dead... but... I don't believe you. You don't even deny that you would kill him! Hahahaahaa! I-I can't believe you-! If you would just deny it. If you would just say you are my sister and that we could fix this together. If you would just say that you don't mind me... If you could just get out of my way, whenever I think I can become better."

"If you being a good person relies on what I do, then that doesn't seem like much of a life at all. It has nothing to do with me."

"You just have to apologise, Nee-san. I will forgive you, and I will use this power to put these two in their place. I can even do that now. That man gave this to me. He gave me the power and I'm going to turn this world into what it needs to be so Senpai and I can be happy. So it can't be helped... I will resurrect Senpai... with any means necessary."

I see. So Gigamesh made her like this? The wounds of the past had been torn open by that man. If only to curse us. "Can't be helped? No. That is just a convenient excuse. This is you, and you alone, throwing a tantrum. I won't apologise, nor will I help you. ...I will kill anyone if I have to, in order to live up to Father's legacy and for my responsibility."

Sakura looked at me with murderous rage. I looked at her with a cold expression. She means nothing to me, right? I knew that she had a threatening side to her. I am prepared to end her as she is a threat. "Responsibility? ...It's always hiding behind things like that... You just take and take and take and never stop. And you say that it is your 'responsibility'? I'm finally saying what I wanted to say, and you can't even admit it, can you? You always were selfish. You always stopped him from accepting me. You were selfish

Bouncing her feet into the soil, Tohsaka Rin looks her sister in the eyes and says the words that confirm every fear Sakura had for years.

"And? Someone had to stop that boy from making mistakes. Curse me if you will, everything I did was for myself. Perhaps that is why he could never truly come to love you. He can barely even see a you at all. He needed someone to give him help finding the answers then, doesn't he? It wasn't a surprise when he came to me first then, and I didn't mind being there for him when he did. No. Let me be honest. I really did enjoy those times together."

Sakura wanted to like her sister, she wanted to trust and believe in her and be her friend. Shirou tried to make it happen, but there was something that couldn't be reconciled by his will. Words that had to be said between the two of them that could only be exchanged when a certain inversion happens.

Sakura gave everything she was for him. Sakura thought she could ask her senpai at any time for even marriage and it would be hers. But that wasn't so, was it? Tohsaka was there at every junction, blocking her at the most opportune times. She gave her sister the benefit of the doubt in everything... until now. When looking at the red girl in front of her, she could only see a demon who cursed her from her birth.

She always hated you.

Sakura's face is hidden under her hair which appears like tentacles. "You didn't stop me at the train station. And even then, you came back after leaving me, in order to take everything from me all over again. You were always unforgivable. ...So be it. You think I am weak? You think you are the only one who learned things from Irisviel? Then... I can't help it. It can't be helped. ...Then I will drown you in all the hate that you deserve. I won't hold back. Come then, you can find by Senpai's side, above where his Mother rests. Come quick, I will hold on as long as I can..."

She disappears into the ground. The mud disappears and she shows me Magecraft that is near True Magic.

Her shadow remains shifting into a monster. "Come, Nee-san. I will have the perfect pit for you ready to force you to understand. Oh, but I should pay a visit to Nii-san first shouldn't I?"

"I will. I will kill you, Sakura. And I will take Shirou away from you for good."

---

Author's Notes:

Sorry it took so long, but I have actually been hard at work on this story and broken moon. Publishing a chapter is a different matter entirely. I have been very busy on my senior thesis and other essays.

Since Nasu is finally giving an official translation for Mahoyo, it marks the first Type-Moon translation of a Vn. let's hope it is not like FGO, but it is good news going into the future. Perhaps his next project will be translated in less than 10 years? The hope for Mahoyo 2 or Tsukihime 2 has never been more alive.

Now to actual author notes:

Yes. We are about to get Sakura vs. Rin, and Arcueid vs. Gilgamesh. Shirou is what everyone is fighting over. That's how it always is.

I decided to do Sakura vs Rin now rather than during the grail war because their stories are static without moving forwards with this. Sakura can't become a normal person without coming to terms with her deep grudge vs Rin and Rin can't finally come to come to terms with herself without confronting her weakness that is Sakura.

I like giving Shirou's reality marble geography. It has a river, and a hill, and a long desolate plain. I enjoy making features in there, rather than in the purely desolate place of UBW.

You can see it as the difference between canon Shirou and this Shirou. In canon he is empty and alone, here he is overwhelmed.

There is a misconception that only crazy people can have reality marbles, but that is a bit misleading. The magecraft behind a Reality Marble within itself isn't entirely unique. It is not true magic, so anyone could technically learn it. However, it is the hardest magic to learn for those without a very strong inner character.

Medea in Grand Order learned the magical theory behind it in order to make one, but it was only a recreation and she can't use a real one. Technically, Rin could even figure it out if she was given an entire life to learn it.

The individual uniqueness of a Reality Marble is what is determined by the degree to which someone could be said to hold an 'alien' intelligence. So if Rin discovered how to make a world egg/Reality Marble, then it would not hold any unique properties. Since she has a very human mind that is accustomed to the rules of the world, it would be a world with different scenery, but it wouldn't have rules that are different from Earth's.

That is where the crazy part comes in. If someone with a truly demented mind, 'alien' to the norm to the point that their own character is stronger than the Earth's rules then that allows for them to assign different rules within their own world.

That seems to just be certain heroes, super old Magi and Dead Apostle ancestors.

Some people don't like how Roa has a boring Reality Marble where all it does is double the power of his spells, but I actually think that is a good thing. It makes the truly unique ones like, Chaos, UBW and the Brunestud castle stand out more in showing that there is a scale to it. Just because you have a Reality Marble doesn't make you really crazy, but if you are really crazy then you will have one of the stronger Reality Marbles as the rules inside your mind will be more unhinged.

You can look at it this way currently: Shirou is the opposite of Medea in that he doesn't know the theory of a Reality Marble at all in order to make use of it directly. Rather, he has what Medea would never be able to attain which is the fundamental inclination to it that allows him to change the rules of magic inside of himself at will. He has the inner world that is breaking the rules of the world, but does not have the knowledge of how to manifest it past what he conceives as projection magecraft.

Remember that Shirou only gained the reality marble in UBW from Archer's memories. This Shirou can't manifest it properly like that without a lot of time.

Remember that the entire Nasu system is based on rules that are not supposed to be followed, and characters who are cheaters. Let me explain it in the terms of an RPG. Shirou has low stats but has a hacking software letting him do illegal things. Rin is a character with perfect min-maxing stats. Luvia has nearly identical stats to Rin and they compete on every single one (when they meet). Sakura has the same amount of stats as Rin but doesn't min-max them and doesn't really care about anything but her cooking skill and affection rating with Shirou. Ilya has the highest base stats of anyone, but she keeps getting stuck in offline mode and can't be with her family. Arcueid has Admin powers that she only uses for little things. Gilgamesh is a whale who spent millions on all the most pay to win mechanics and bought everything and now wants to buy the whole game. Taiga dumped all her stats in luck. Shinji has the lowest stats but thinks he has the highest. Shiki has a glitch where he deals infinite dmg with every attack. Ciel has an invincibility and almost infinite power glitch. lol...

Chapter done, see you next time.

Reviews, favorites, follows are always appreciated. If you care at all, then it goes a long way...