/

Act Three: Another Heaven

One day, the day of return (Music) /cIEvM1Uk7Qc

Life moves on.

The punishment started immediately, and it would only end when Sakura herself could let go of it. But that day will never come. Sakura will never become independent of her sister and me. All that could be done was make her suffer without any end, saving her in a way only a cruel hero can. I just need to remember that I must be harsher on her than anyone, and I can barely live with myself playing this role I don't deserve.

Like Sakura, the time when I could cry about having to fake it had long passed. That meant the tasks started, whether we were prepared or not.

The first was the most direct. Making her confront the consequences of losing control and acknowledging her sin. Forcing her into her own darkness, torturing her with that while not letting her fall back in.

Initially, that meant the rebuilding of Ryoudou Shrine was at the top of the list. The foundations of the temple were still there. The fight had not broken into the most important infrastructure in the ground, and only some of the newer buildings in the temple were completely destroyed. It was a city effort with volunteers and construction workers from relief efforts. And Sakura would be the most diligent volunteer of them all.

Sakura couldn't do physical labor, yet she tried until her fingers were cut and started to sway as if ready to collapse. It reached the point that Taiga stopped her and told her she needed to know her limits. She was put in a cold futon to rest from the heat. I came to check on her. "Senpai... We are supposed to be apart, right... So I can't burden you with this... I should be doing more..." I push her back into bed.

"Yes, but when you need a lesson, there is no helping it. Don't think I will let this be pleasant for you just because you pushed yourself too fast. Would it help anyone for you to push yourself into a heat stroke? Tell me, what would burden people more?"

"I...I just want to do as much as I can... Just like you want me to."

"It's true that I intend to push you to the limit and beyond, but I don't intend on letting you endanger yourself with it. You clearly need another lesson on knowing what you can do and what you can not. Work means having an objective, but if you burn out from trying to reach that too quickly then that is as bad as doing nothing at all."

"..." This would be when she would start calling herself weak, but my threatening aura shuts her down. I use every ounce of fear and horror that is ingrained into my being to terrorize her. I will make her fear me so much that all the things she used to be so afraid of will begin to fade away.

"Do I need to teach you the same lesson over and over? You are weak only because you are afraid of being strong. That is no longer something that I can let you get away with. Weakness is no longer a prison that you can hide in. Every time you try, I will take you and break you out. Do you think that Issei would feel better if you pushed yourself back into bed? Did you seriously start thinking that hurting yourself would bring back all that was lost?"

"N-no. I-I'm not good at... thinking."

I sigh. "...Hah. Then I'll just have to teach you that too. Tell me, Sakura. What skill do you take pride in?"

She thinks for a long time until she resolves herself. "Nothing... Well ...I-I can cook."

I smile. "Then that's your strength. There isn't any excuse not to use it."

"But... why do you have to go now? I don't..."

"Leave? Not quite. Although I can no longer speak to you in the light, that doesn't mean that I'm not still watching from the shadows."

Then, she does something unexpected. She laughs. "Hehehe... hehe... sorry, It's just that you really have become cryptic like Irisviel, haven't you?"

"I'm really trying here, Sakura... But if all I am making you do is laugh, then maybe

"Well... hehehe... Sorry, you like monologues, don't you? I think it is a little cute... I-I mean... sorry. I won't do it again."

"No... I'd trade perhaps too much to keep seeing you like that... If you can smile carefree like that one day..." Then that would be where my service may no longer be needed. "Regardless, don't think I will let you make light of me. I'm used to it from Tohsaka, but now even you are attacking me. You know, I'm pretty impressed on my own. If you cannot longer see that, then maybe from now on, I will show you a different side of me that you won't be able to handle so easily." I pout.

"If you say so then it must be true. ...Well... I'm in your care, Senpai. I can't escape even if I wanted to... right?"

"Yup." I stroke her long violet hair away from her dark eyes. Until they can shine, I will have to keep on hurting her. "Now, your rest is over. It's time to show me how many meals you really can make all on your own."

I pulled Sakura out of bed and had her make lunch for everyone. Good people from all over town, including Taiga and the Fujimura group, Otoko, and many others, came together to help fund and help the rebuilding process. I resisted my impulse to control the kitchen and acted as Sakura's slave driver giving her task after task without any end. Sakura became well-known as the kind ward of Taiga who cared about everyone. Taiga, of course, was happy to sing the praises of Sakura even if Sakura herself despised it down her very core. But whenever she felt that way, I decided I would make it even worse for her.

I showered her with false praise I knew she hated, and I boasted about everything she saw as a weakness. After her punishment was over for the day, I made her a small meal and patted her on the head. I said no words of encouragement, for there was no need for them. Punishment goes without any true reward, and even this small positive reinforcement acts as a way of preventing her from hiding inside herself from it all.

I give her the minimum amount of hope to prevent her from giving up, while making the pressure harder and harder. My plan for her started to develop from there, as I began to envision not only pulling her out from the darkness but also pushing her to great heights.

I decide that I won't tolerate her simply lining up at this point. I will shepherd her to the limits of her potential in all things. Even- no, especially the things she fears and hates the most. Only then will she be able to look at the world and no longer need me.

And if she no longer needs me, then...? What will I do?

"..." My brain freezes. Two conflicting ideals. They can barely coexist most of the time, but if the day comes that I am forced to choose between the gentle everyday or the noble duty, then I don't know what I will do. ...No. I will simply find the path in which nothing is lost. No matter how many tries it takes, it must be out there somewhere.

A world where the unforgivable can smile in peace, and no one will have to cry ever again. The fact that there is no evidence or visible hope is irrelevant. I will simply believe in the act of believing.

She would keep smiling over clenched teeth as the very people who were her victims thanked her over and over for her kindness. She confessed no sin nor wept a single tear. She may have had much time training to fake those mannerisms, but now she was truly feeling the emotions raw, and she lacked the wall of dissociation she hid behind in the past.

I admit I am cruel; I admit that a part of me, a dark part, relishes in the pain even when there is no point to it. The truth is an impossible thing to try and give form. It's not worth speaking about something that is empty when confined to the form of words. Only Arcueid could understand this language that resides within the soul, and she is gone.

Whirlpool of Fate (Music) /3wXmgL-CuY0

More days passed. Weeks, and maybe even a month. Time spun arround over and over. Sometimes I feel that the battle between Gilgamesh and I never ended. I feel the sharp pain of a sword impaling my skin and the look of my body disappearing into black steel. I saw the white princess with my waking eyes, and I felt the taste of her blood on my lips.

I no longer sleep at home, as I have left it in the care of Tohsaka and Sakura. I sleep in the darkest, most miserable place I know and face the depths of its darkness.

What is this fear that keeps me chained here?

The fire will return. It will follow me everywhere I go, and it won't stop until everything I wish to hold in my hands turns to ash. I talk a big game for Sakura, and I resolve myself to what lies ahead with Tohsaka, yet the fear is not stamped out no matter what I do. All I can do is run away forever. I fall asleep in a cold and dank place that holds neither comfort nor light. My suffering here can never cancel her own, but it can help me find the path both of us need to confront. Only in the darkest of places can the faintest and most ambitious lights be found.

I wake up sore on the cold stone ground. It is wet, and there is nothing that could be called comfort in this place.

Even if Taiga openly complained and Tohsaka silently complained, I still did not return to the Emiya household. I didn't forget to make their meals as I promised them, but they said that they didn't taste the same as they used to. I felt weak. ...It was like something inside of me was gone. I gave Arcueid all the strength I had to give, and now it is time to remake myself once more. Until I could walk back into that home with true hope and a smile, I didn't deserve to face them. That battle took far more from me than my body shows.

As for Sakura, she was steadily going down the path of doing as I told her. Yet what I told her each time was the exact thing she did not want to hear. This meant that more and more frequently, I was forcing her to plan it all out herself. I weaned her off her dependence on me and it was all for planning out things she really did not want to do. Of course, it wasn't just me these months who forced her forwards. Tohsaka was Sakura's greatest fear for a long time, and I was her only solace. So we inverted it for maximum effect. I became Sakura's negative reinforcement and Tohsaka became her positive reinforcement. Even if Sakura was run ragged by Tohsaka, the process was not designed as mine was to break down all of Sakura's fear.

I remember the cold look Rin gave me when I told her my plan for Sakura. She looked about ready to kill me. "Emiya-kun, might you say that again? How does torturing someone like that help them in any way?"

"Well... I thought you would understand since you were a magus."

"Of course, I understand that being a magus is like being in hell, but that isn't what Sakura needs, is it? I can't believe that I am the one who is saying this, but we need to be gentle with her." She says with a grumble.

"I completely agree!" I exclaimed.

"You do? What happened to the whole trapping Sakura in her own personal hell?"

"You misunderstand, Tohsaka. You treating her with kindness is her personal hell. If we invert her life entirely, then she too will invert into the exact opposite of herself."

She pouts. "Hmph, I'm plenty kind already, Emiya-kun. You haven't even seen what my true vengeance would look like." She tries to get more power over me.

"Sorry... So what do you think?"

"About your shoddy plan? A sort of 'scared straight' type of deal... but with kindness? It's preposterous; you are the one who she wants to be kind to her, so I don't see why we should switch roles."

"I just figured that your kindness would help both of you out. I know you have trouble expressing yourself."

"I don't need lessons from you of all people on how to act. How dare you tell me I can't be honest with how I feel!"

"I never said that... but let's move on

"Pfff, don't look down on me." She crosses her arms.

"Tohsaka, this is something only you can do. But if you don't want to be a part of it... then I guess I will just have to replace your role in this with Taiga... I'm sure that she would be happy to treat Sakura like a little sister even more than she already does."

"...Please, don't you dare try and insinuate that that brute Fujimura could replace me. ...Even if I know you are influencing me in this, I can't just let you go off all alone with a bad plan. Grrr... I really hate you!"

"Thanks... So?"

"...So I'll do it. I'll be as nice to her as I can." I win this round. "But that doesn't mean I think you can pull off your role. As much as you are a fool, I simply don't think you have the capacity to be heartless."

I laugh a little. "Leave it to me, Tohsaka. It's not that I can't do it; it's that it is far too easy to lose control and never be able to stop. ...But I know curses that will alter Sakura to such a degree that she can't help but become happy. If that takes me losing a part of myself to do it, then so be it."

"..."

"I can't believe that I am saying this, but you actually almost make logical sense."

"I do?"

"...I hate that you can't even tell that you do..." She face palms. "You know, Emiya-kun. You are your own person; I can't always be worrying about you all the time, so if you will do this, then all I can say is that I trust that you will make it past this."

"Tohsaka... thanks... I can't lose now if it disappoints you. leave it to me!"

Perhaps sensing that she said something deep that made me lose my guard, she goes back on the attack. "And you know, Emiya-kun, maybe you need to be scared straight so much you will become normal." She says so mockingly, yet it strikes a chord in me.

"...Me...?" I started to think. "That is... perhaps..." Maybe that was the only way forwards for me. I can't move on past here and reach Arcueid's level by staying as I am now. I will surely fail at this rate, so I need to shock myself until I can find the true path forwards. It would be the ultimate hypocrisy to burden Sakura with this and then do the exact thing I am telling Sakura she is not allowed.

"I was joking... Shirou, you can't seriously-"

I finish my thoughts. "No... maybe you are right. I can't possibly understand her if I just live my life normally, can I? No... I need to understand her pain as much as I can. If I will be taking away Sakura's ability to live comfortably, then I can't

"You are acting crazy, Shirou. You are the one who told me that there is no such thing as casting judgment on yourself, so why are you forgetting your own words?"

"...Crazy? ...If it takes being crazy to get what I want, then so be it. In this case, the only one who can even see where my sins are is me." Only my eyes can see it. "The people who I love..." will also cursed with misfortune. In that moment, something did break inside of me. I was afraid in a way I hadn't been in such a long, long time.

"..." Tohsaka shook her head sadly but let me go that day. She has just enough faith in me to know I would return when she needed it. The day after that, I left the warm and happy Emiya residence behind me and fully embraced personal hell so that I would not ever make that same mistake again. If love is why they keep falling out of my grasp., then I just need to stop school, at the market, and at the hospital in which she visited every day. She visited people who did not know her, and she told them nothing about who she really was. She could never say anything to them, because that would just be selfish. All that would do is hurt them, and give her a false sense of forgiveness.

Events occurred quickly in the midst of that. The news came out of nowhere, but it was also inevitable considering what Tohsaka had to write to the rest of the world. It happened at some point in late June. "Kotomine Kirei is dead, and a new replacement will be coming soon to act as overseer for the Holy Grail." That was the message that Tohsaka received after years of Kotomine being kicked out of town by Irisviel. Someone new was coming. Kotomine himself had never said anything about the truth of him being forced from town for his own reasons. I was a thankful for at least that, but it seemed that at some point soon, we would again have the Church looking over our shoulder.

Now that Angra Mainyu was no longer a problem I couldn't deal with myself, there wasn't any fear that they would suddenly come to the conclusion to destroy us, but still... Arcueid was right about one thing. The Church does not tolerate the existence of monsters unless it is a monster meant to destroy other monsters.

Even if Fuyuki was a small place in a big world, it had one thing unique to it that gained the attention of Magi and Executors alike. It was the home of the 'Holy Grail.' To most magi, it was a small ritual of little importance. After all, what use would a magus have for an object that had proven only to be almost unattainable while also having a shady limit to its power. In the end, to most who had no true wishes in their life, it was an object that would serve only as a point of boasting. ...But to those few who had an inkling of the truth, they became obsessed with it. Their wish consumes them, and they desire the power of the wish-granting object above all else. So... if I can't save Illya before the time that this war is here, that is just something I will have to deal with.

I didn't know what to do, but luckily I had Tohsaka arround to think for me when it came to complicated things. "Dead? You knew him better than anyone. What does this mean?"

"...Hmm. Unless they can show me his rotting corpse, and I can burn it, then I will believe it when I see it. That fake priest was many things, but someone who would die so easily like this… It is something I will have to deal with when the time comes. Shirou… You took out Gilgamesh, but if that man ever returns… promise me that you will let me handle it."

"Tohsaka... But what if… I need to keep my guard up."

"What? Do you think I need you to protect me? Don't make me laugh. ...I definitely want you to be protective of me or anything!"

"If you say so..."

"Hmph. You really think that I'd lose to a second-rate magus like him? …He's no slouch, and in a straight fight, I can't beat an executor like him, but with time and training, there is no problem too big that a Tohsaka cannot solve gracefully. This is how it has always been."

"I do trust you. I just couldn't handle you getting hurt in front of me… But I wouldn't take this from you unless I had to. …I could help teach you combat, if you would like?"

She retreats a little. "Baka… I already said it, but you're the one who needs protection. Don't forget that you are my apprentice, not the other way arround. Well, thanks for the offer… maybe sometime I will test your endurance myself. I mean… not in any weird way…! Jeez, what are you making me say!?"

"...I didn't really say anything..."

"As usual, everything that comes from your mouth has little value."

"Come now, Tohsaka. That's not what you were saying the other day when you wanted a hug-"

She looks at me with clear murderous intent. "Forget about that, or else I will be forced to make you forget. Don't play thinking you are so cool; I have the upper hand here. ...Now, what would you say to us sharing a room in London?"

"Pfff…" She takes me completely off guard with the topic shift. "I mean… didn't we talk about that already…"

"No, we never decided. I think that you would do your best as my servant... in my room. How does that sound?" How can she suggest that with a straight face?

"L-later...! I-I said we would discuss this later! It's too soon for us to share a bed like that...!" This girl, what is she making me say?

"Hehe, I never said anything about sharing a bed, Emiya-kun. I see you think that way about me. Later is now, Emiya-kun. She comes closer like a snake near its prey.

"I mean... I wouldn't do that! That is something I know not to do!"

"You wouldn't want to be anywhere near me, is that it, Emiya-kun? Don't you want to stay with me? All alone, nowhere to run?" She says with doe eyes that are hard to resist. I don't know if she is serious or teasing, and that is troublesome for many reasons. Talking to Tohsaka is like trying to traverse a minefield.

I nearly fall back, but this is not a very good situation. Has she gone out of her mind? Will I have to use my power to force her out of the darkness once again? "I... It's not a matter of what I want. I have a place I can stay that is inconspicuous. You know what, why not move in with me as my servant, Tohsaka?" I try to counter.

"Hey...! That's something I can't allow! You think you are a big shot now that you use your mother's last name? By the words of our contract, no order supercedes mine in this town."

"Are you ordering me to stay with you then?"

"...No. It was just an offer. You must accept it of your own volition, or it's not worth anything. I don't want to trouble you if you really hate my company."

"Well... Maybe it's not so terrible."

"I see... You think I am lacking in some departments, do you? I see how it is, Emiya-kun."

"N-no! I don't think you are lacking at all in any area! You are practically a perfect person in my book. I have a new plan for all this."

She smiles, satisfied with my groveling. "Good. Therefore-" I think of a great idea that I am sure she will love.

"Therefore, I will find you a new servant myself to work for you when I can't. How does that sound?"

"Wah... That's not what I want...!"

"Huh? What is it that you want? I thought you wanted a servant in London? In this case, it will be like you have two, since even if I don't stay with you, I will still help you out since I am your apprentice."

"Baka!" Now I'd made her mad. "Hmph. Why do you care!? I hate you! Get out of my workshop already!"

"Okay, okay. See you tomorrow." I walked out.

I don't notice her whisper when I leave. "Hmph. I don't want another servant... I just want you."

The idea would have to resolve eventually. Her pride did not allow her to accept that her apprentice would be in equal standing at the Clock Tower. That was just the sort of person she was.

Witching Hour (Music) /EQC0DcXFxvE

Nearing the end of what was the initial cleaning and reconstruction of the temple, Sakura broke through the second barrier in her mind.

When it seemed that I was looking for myself, I let her find me. It took some time, but her guilt finally caught up to her. This was not the guilt of what she had done in losing herself, but rather it was everything. It was all emotions that she had frozen and buried in the last nine years coming back all at once. And this time, she was not even allowed to lose her humanity to escape it.

Instead of that, she jumped into my arms with force as if to hide from the rest of the world. "I can't do it...! It's too much, Senpai! I can't keep doing good things for them as if I'm normal and pure! I am... I-I did this. I killed those people! I destroyed their home! I should be in jail...! No- I should be executed. Burned like a witch... Just forget about me, Senpai... Please give up on me..."

"...Judging yourself feels nice, doesn't it? Hating yourself makes you feel victimized. Delivering 'justice' down upon yourself lets you convince yourself that you never even had a chance. You will become drunk on it soon enough, and eventually, you will kill yourself when you can convince even your self-preservation that you would be better off dead. ...Sakura, there is no such thing as self-administrated justice."

"Why…? Shouldn't I be punished for my crimes…? Didn't you say that...? How can I keep looking at them as if I were innocent!? They keep looking at me as if I am a good person who they have a debt to. I try to tell them that I don't want anything in return but that makes them even worse about it! Hurt me, torture me... I'll be your slave for life... just not this!"

I stop her as gently as possible. I am forceful in giving her work, but I never push her beyond what I see as her physical limits. All of it is carefully calculated. "Sakura... You don't have any idea what punishment is, do you?" I sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"...You would see it like that, wouldn't you? Angra Mainyu was the most basic form of punishment and retribution there is, after all. ...But Sakura, I am not him. I am far far worse." As I say it, I sense her look at me in true fear.

"S-Senpai...? What do you mean?"

"Only that I prefer much more cruel and unusual punishments. Things that you can not escape from no matter where you go, and that infect even your mind until you are nothing more than a slave to it."

"I-Is this the other side of you that you were going to show me...?"

"Heh. I guess so. If your Senpai is someone that you take solace in, then I will have to eliminate him too until you are truly alone for me to control."

"You... what... I don't..."

"Now, Sakura. Tell me why you really came here into my arms. I will know if you lie." I commanded her.

"I... I wanted pity. I want you to pity me and understand why I am like this! ...I wanted you to forgive me so badly...! I didn't care about anyone but me... I just l-l-lo..." She starts stuttering because she won't say the last word.

"Good enough. I sense that you are holding back on something, but it is far more fun to peel back your painful secrets slowly than all at once. Pity can't bring you anything, it only serves to keep something pathetic barely alive. If you cling onto pity any longer, then you are telling me that you have no intention of changing at all. If that is the case, then you are free to settle down in my home forever. You can keep your dreams of spring but nothing else."

Her eyes swell in panic. "...! H-how did you know about... that...? My recurring nightmare..."

"I know all of your greatest fears, Sakura. Now, what is that you truly desire?"

"...I just don't want you to go away. Even if you want to be cruel like this... I just don't want to be left behind..." It sounded wrong, but it was the only right thing left in context. "I'll stay in your home as long as you want, but where have you been? N-not outside, right?"

"...Don't worry about me, Sakura. If you have enough time to be doing that, then that means I haven't been working you hard enough." I dodge the question.

Sakura... I'll return to you as soon as I feel I can return to the light... Until then, I must do whatever I can now before it is too late.

"Okay..."

"Now is as good a time as any to tell what the next stage of your punishment will be. Everything that I tell you after this moment is something you will be doing for the rest of your long life. You are going to be the most active volunteer in this entire town, helping everyone that I tell you. Everything that I myself do will be made out to be your own work. Before you know it, people will come to you to give you things to do. People will look up to you as a role model and it is inevitable that you will gain in popularity. People will look up to you as if you are a paragon of purity. I will make you the student council president in your class, and by that point, you will take to your new role so much and be under my thrall to such a degree that you will start forgetting that you are even faking this new persona of yours. By then, it will be too late to turn back, and even If I left you, you would probably be unable to stop following the rules I have set out for you. You would wield power effortlessly, and the thought that you are useless will feel distant in your mind." Her look of horror at that moment was tremendous. Every word I spoke for her was like a knife into every single open wound she had in her heart. Now I move to the killing blow. "Do you realize now who I will be turning you into?"

It takes only a moment for her to see it, and she nearly falls to the ground without strength. I held her by her shoulder to prevent that and make her stand up straight even though she had no power left. "...That is...! I couldn't ever...!"

I laugh as if I were the devil herself. "Hahahaha... Yes. You will take pride in your every action, and you will suffer no mistakes. Girls will be jealous of you; boys will admire you, and the adults will see you as the ideal of youth. All the while, you will have to live that existence without losing your smile once or giving off even a hint of hesitation. I will turn you into the girl you fear most, the rival and equal of Tohsaka Rin."

"..." It's like cornering prey. I crush her hope in my arms and show it to her, smiling, but I never let go, and I don't allow her even to think she could get away. I make her regret thinking she would find pity from me.

A normal person would look at my plan as extraordinary compassion and effort all for her sake. But Sakura was so far from that normal that she could only hear it as if it was her sentencing to a cruel and painful death.

This was the best answer I could find for my ideal of forging goodness from evil without losing anything. The cruelest and most unusual curse I could muster. Sakura's greatest fear always had been hope, so I think forcing so much hope and happiness onto her will be retribution enough. "I'm telling you this not as a suggestion nor as an offer: this is a promise of something that will come. Even if you resist with all your heart, you can no longer fight back against me. You see, I won't mind if you do try fighting back; you would only find that you can no longer even escape the palm of my hand." I don't feel human channeling this persona. That is because, at this moment, I am no longer acting human.

"Y-you aren't Senpai... Senpai wouldn't be like this. He wouldn't push me into something he knows I can't do... You can't keep these promises!"

"Indeed... I can't." She is afraid of me. Good. "But maybe I could if you just helped a little. I'm not looking for an answer from you. In fact, I don't even want to hear it. It is not my future to seize; all I can do is keep pushing you forever. Now, shall we get back to work? I'll tell them that you were reprimanding me for slacking off. You really are such a perfect girl." I stroke her hair.

"Y-yes..." I push her along, then slink back to the shadows, leaving her alone once more. "I... I really hate you more than anyone, Senpai."

I smile widely. I am very satisfied. "Thanks, I'm glad." I'll have you hate me so much that you can't possibly try to bury your emotions ever again.

End of Reminisence (Music) /YJhC70dPN2Y

June ended, and July began without fanfare. The summer winds came off the coast and made it barely tolerable to survive under the burning heat. The school was back in full force, and people started to move on from the events of April. Shinji and all the rest who were hurt came back to school slowly and reaccustomed to normal life. But for some of us, the wounds of the past are not so easily undone.

Take Matou Shinji, for example. Even after being taken out of the hospital after a month in which he could barely speak, he still sometimes had to go back for checkups that lasted overnight. The doctors found no physical injuries on him at all, and it was determined that his ailment was mainly psychological in nature. Like a phantom pain that won't let go. Of course, Tohsaka, Sakura, and I knew the truth. Wounds that come from magic can run as deep as the soul.

It was determined that the only one who could save him from the dark fate of being slowly consumed by that wound was the perpetrator herself. Tohsaka and I helped, but we did no more than making sure he wouldn't die. It would all be on Sakura to confront the consequences of her own actions. In effect, she would need to confront her own relationship with the Matou name and all the emotions she had towards it. It was the one thing I refused to help her with until she could show which path she wanted to go down.

That is where this story begins.

"Nii-san, aren't you listening? So I went shopping, and I didn't even make one mistake. I got everything on the list, and you know what Tohsaka-senpai said? She said that I did a good job, can you believe that?" Sakura regaled the story with happiness in her eyes. Even a small compliment from her sister was enough to make her day a little more manageable.

"Sakura…" ...Of course, for Matou Shinji, this was not so far from a form of torture. It was like Sakura had never stopped hurting him back for all the times that he had hurt her. But the point wasn't to inflict pain based on what would balance the other out. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Thus, Sakura was trying to find a way forwards for herself and Shinji despite their shared history.

She could force it the only way she knew out: sheer stubbornness. "Eat, Nii-san. You need to get your strength back."

"Eh... Why are you doing this?" He moaned.

"We both hurt each other a lot, didn't we? Senpai says that if I start to say all my biggest fears and traumas out loud, then it takes away their power over me. …You used to beat me up, remember? Father would beat you; then you would come and do it to me. ...I was never allowed to do anything to you. ...I couldn't fight back, even after I was freed. I wondered why I couldn't fight back for so long, but then I realized it. I knew you really were so weak that I would crush you far too easily if I tried." She laughed as if it were a maiden's secret.

"Stop it…"

"No. I can't let you do anything you want to anymore. I'm not trying to hurt you, Nii-san. I want to protect you from the real world, Nii-san. The world that you really thought you were worthy of joining is one you wouldn't survive. I was only trying to show you that, but you had to go and say those mean things about Senpai and me.

"Help me..."

"Shhh." She covers his voice with her own magic. It is like she turns the air into a swamp that swallows the screams of her victims. "I'm here now, Nii-san. I am the one who will help you, so you don't have to scream for anyone else. I doubt you will listen to me at first, but with time I know that you won't be looking at those girls anymore. You will be a good and loyal Nii-san who does as he is told."

"Uh..."

"Now rest. Just leave it up to me, Nii-san. From now on, you are going to change for the better. Until then, you will just have to keep getting checkups at the hospital until the nightmares stop. You know, Senpai is really gentle at heart. I never was taken to the hospital. Do you see it now? Senpai and I are treating you very gently compared to what we could do?"

He is my guide, and I can't do anything without him. I know it's wrong, but even after I fake myself into some kind of real life, I know I will still really be reliant on him to live. If Senpai married another woman, I would have to live in the same home. I mean, what would I do if Senpai fell in love with a woman like that." A dark aura took over her face as she imagined it. Her teeth clench uncontrollably as she feels uncontrolled anger for a moment. Sakura crushed the pudding in her hands before she knew it. It was like crushing a bug. "Oh, how careless. Being reckless and thinking you can have power so easily... It really is something hard to resist."

"..." Shinji would recover, whether he liked it or not. He was born in a situation of misfortune, but that was no excuse for the sort of man he could become with what he has.

"But I can't do that ever again." I would rather die than let Senpai see me like that again. "But what if Senpai was gone? What if someone evil came and stole him away? Would I still feel that it was alright to just let things go?"It was all hypothetical, of course, so Sakura overcame it with time and by slowly accepting her new life. …But if any of her fears relating to her Senpai ever did happen, she really had no idea how she would respond, but she knew she would exhibit no mercy.

In The Sunlight (Music) /xb3UmzOqios

My plan starts coming to fruition so quickly that Sakura can barely keep up. People really did start looking at Sakura as someone who would help out for free with anyone. I took most of the jobs and gave Sakura the ones I knew she would feel most uncomfortable with. People who were looking for a family that went missing last month. Help to fix up a home that was damaged. People who had grown suddenly very ill. Things she would trace back as her fault, even if it wasn't necessarily hers. It hurt, it stung, and it was uncomfortable to face tragedies that your own hands are bloodied by. She would cry herself to sleep at night in frustration. When she even thinks of giving in, I give her a push and a pull barring her from resting for even a moment. I have created a personal hell just for her. It is something that doesn't even require magic. Even if I didn't have the impulses of Angra Mainyu, I know her so well I could do this anyways.

The nightmare ends as soon as she starts to see it not as hell but rather as another heaven. It is not what she imagined herself attaining, but it will be equal to it. I won't stop until it is. Of course, Tohsaka has her own plan going forwards with her sister. Tohsaka started to teach Sakura magic. I don't watch but I know enough to see that Tohsaka isn't holding back on Sakura. Tohsaka was treating Sakura like she does me, and was practically throwing new and strenuous tasks at her without any mercy. I knew then that I couldn't lose to Tohsaka, and I needed to be even more merciless. Though, Sakura looked happiest during those times. As if she were in a dream. Taiga will give her positive reinforcement, and Tohsaka will give negative reinforcement, while I just try to break her down so that she won't be able to resist the hammers being used to remake her.

Even if the plan makes me sick, I can't doubt that it works.

Sakura took it all, struggling and wishing deeply to give up, but she never complained. She never questioned if it was worth it. And so, even though she can barely stand, she never did give in. It takes extreme growing pains, but she slowly adjusted to her new lifestyle. Terrible things started to feel more like horrible things, and as her mind was calloused by the unfamiliar pains of living, her hell started feeling more like routine. More than anything before that, it scares her deeply as she starts to feel that I was right. There is hope, and that terrifies her.

I wasn't complacent, but I didn't think that what would happen after that would happen. It seemed I had pushed her into too far of a corner and taught her one too many ways to find her own strength. It was the first time she came running into my arms crying in a long, long time. It was… unexpected and hard to resist. I was supposed to be a stranger, and yet she wasn't allowing me to go or leave. She clung to my weakness for someone who is looking for help, and didn't let go.

"I-I am… I-I am… This isn't working…! I can't make friends; I just can't do it. I can't just replace you!"

This was different from before. I did not see it coming. It was some kind of lesson that she realized before me. "You are doing so well, working so hard. You haven't even complained a single time, no matter how much you wish you could give in. So why would you stop now when you have made it this far?"

"That doesn't matter! …You don't understand, I am betraying you! I can't go on trying to become friends with new people as if you don't exist for me already!"

I take her off of me gently, yet firmly. I can not embrace her here, or else weeks of progress may be lost. "That's selfish, Sakura. What about the people who would like you as much as you might like me? It is not a matter of how I feel. I'm not jealous that you are making friends, in fact I am happy that you are."

I didn't notice that it was her emotions that were being discussed, not my own. Thus my words only made her even more emotional.

"...It's just... It could never be the same. No matter what you say or how much you mean to me. I can't let it be anyone else. That is my lesson for you, Senpai. I can't replace you with anyone!" I didn't truly understand. She could have anyone now. She could forget all about me and live a happy life, right? That would make it easier for me even to try and ease her into moving on.

But she renounces that forever. She renounces the idea of forgetting and tells me authoritatively that she won't ever move on to someone else. This is... something I can't logically try to understand.

"I am here to help you, Sakura. But for someone who believes they are drowning and can't be convinced otherwise, the solution isn't to save them. The solution is to let them drown until they have to face the fact that they will be fine."

"...I'm not letting go, even if you turn into a demon. Even if you were not even the Senpai I know, I can't abandon you. You didn't do that to me... so I won't for you, just like I promised. ...That's why I won't let you go this time."

"..." Now I am the one taken off-guard. She has come so far, yet there is infinitely more to go. I can't help but feel that I am creating a real monster here by trying to destroy her weaknesses. ...Could I seriously survive two Tohsakas? "Haha..."

"Why are you laughing...? I'm trying to be strong..."

I shake my head and rub her hair like she is a cat. "I'm not laughing at you; I really am amazed. I'm glad, that is all. You are as strong as I hoped you would be."

"..." I let go of her. This time she stands up without falling back all on her own.

"All you can do is keep faking, Sakura. Force yourself to do the things that you fear most with a smile on your face. Create the ideal future in your mind and fixate yourself on it, and you will forget that you should even be afraid. Do that for everything that terrifies you, and eventually, you will be able to look at anything with the same resolve. ...But you don't have to follow my advice. You can do as you wish; I can't make you do anything." I can't possibly bring her to the same darkness I am engrossed in when she still has a chance of making it out. "Now, what is it that has done this to you? Was it Shinji?"

"No... Nii-san and I... He will be fine. I will make sure that he is fine." It was sort of scary how assured she was of it. However, I can't intervene any further than I have in that. Only Sakura and Shinji can come to terms with themselves now.

"...Another boy ate my meal in the cooking club… He said he really liked it… I know it was stupid... but I couldn't keep smiling anymore."

"...?"

"It wasn't a big thing... but I just felt like it was somehow wrong. I felt… dirty. Like I was cheating on you. I felt all the guilt come surging back into me, and I ran out of the room, holding back tears… I'm so pathetic. And then I realized it… Unless it is you saying that I had done well, and it is you who was happy, then it is just empty. There is was nothing more to it."

"..." I take a deep breath and turned around. I feel the need to turn away from this. Am I making a fundamental mistake?

"Senpai?"

"What do you see me as, Sakura? Just a regular boy?"

"Of course, Senpai is just Senpai. There doesn't need to be anything more than that."

"But there is more to it than that, Sakura. Reducing your thinking like that to fit your own personal narrative... That is what Irisviel warned me of over and over. You can't turn away from the truth."

"I am not turning away from the truth, Senpai... You are." She said sadly.

"..." I didn't have any more answers. "…That's enough talking for this week, Sakura. You know you need to keep working hard by yourself, but… you know you are not really alone. We are supporting you from behind, but only you can advance yourself. …Goodbye, Sakura." I couldn't handle her crying in front of me, after all.

"No… Wait…" I look back at her. I should leave, but I can't help but want to stay. I need to be cruel, or else the same mistakes will keep repeating, but I can never forsake this girl when she is in trouble. What she says next surprises me by how quickly her mood changes from depressed to resolved. "You loved Arcuied, didn't you?"

"...!" It was so sudden.

"I-I... I'm sorry, Senpai. I shouldn't have said anything. It's so selfish of me... Ah..."

I turned around and take her hand. "...Sakura. ...Will you close your eyes for a minute. Keep them closed, or else I will disappear forever."

"Yes? ...I won't open them until you say so!" She meant it. She wouldn't open them even if the world started to burn.

"...It's not so much that I love the moon... It's more that, to me, the moon is love itself. Everything that shines under it, I can't help but love that... Even from now on, I will have to live in darkness. ...I can't see it anymore, Sakura. I can't find something that bright no matter where I look." I kept seeing Arcueids face disappear in front of my eyes. I wonder when that face which has already started to blur, will disappear completely. I wonder what happens when someone is forgotten completely. Surprisingly, she lost her tension and started to giggle. "Now you are the one laughing at me. I guess it is only fair."

"...That's not it at all. It's just that this is exactly the sort of answer I should have expected Senpai to have. The Senpai that I love... he's a hopeless romantic, you see. You know, Senpai. You don't have to shine to stand out. ...And to be honest, I'm not sure I want you to stand out. I'm not sure I want anyone else to know your true quality... I am selfish, Senpai..."

"And like I said, I don't mind that side of you." I rub her hair. Even now, that emotion is the most troubling to me. The color of love shines more bright than the sun, yet it makes me more afraid than the greatest hate or fear. "Love...? It is an odd feeling to me. And here I was thinking that I would be fine with you hating me for what I will be putting you through."

"I certainly do hate you... I hate you more than anyone, and I doubt that I can ever forgive you for saving my life. ...But that also goes for every other emotion. What I feel for you is everything all at once, and the rest of the world is just compared to that. That's just how important you are to me, Senpai."

Now I feel red and embarrassed. My emotions may be messed up, but sometimes I simply can't help but feel like an innocent boy who has a cute girl saying she likes him. "Honestly, it makes me a little happy to see you like this."

"Hah. You really do have an evil side, don't you, Sakura?" I chuckle dryly.

"I need to be honest; isn't that what you always say? I need to get it all out of my system and say everything, especially when I just want to pretend it's not there. ...And the one thing I can not let alone is the idea that you think you have to be all alone. You said that to me too. I'm only following your orders." She was smiling and laughing now that she had turned the conversation on its head. It would probably be a long time until she could do anything past follow my word, but until then, I will have to make due as her guide.

"It's not fair when you turn my own word against me," I say.

"I can't be helpless forever, Senpai. Or were you making me do all this work just because you liked seeing me squirm?"

"...Maybe so. ...Maybe that nasty personality is still inside me, laughing at everyone's misfortunes. ...It seems that you have taken the upper hand in this conversation." ...Now, I can admit defeat gladly. "Well then, It seems you have defeated me here, Sakura. I don't have any retorts to give you."

"I-I did? Senpai...? I beat Senpai at something? I-it's not that I want to beat you... I just want to be able to follow you to any point; that means I need to match you."

"Yup. Now you can ask me for anything. Think of it as the carrot that lies at the end of the stick. It would be wrong not to give you a true reward considering all the work you have already done to get this far. Oh, and you can open your eyes now."

"Really...? Are you sure? I-I don't think I have ever beaten you before..."

"Well... don't think that I will let it come easily. I still have pride, you know... But this time, I really do surrender. So you can ask me for anything you want."

"Anything at all...?" She started freaking out and then mumbled unintelligibly to herself. "A kiss...? Or maybe...? No-! I couldn't... He will see I am dirty... Him and I could go out... Oh, but I don't really care about dates, they aren't enough... Anything at all...? Something I want Senpai to do...? Ah!" She finds her wish.

"Did you think of something?"

"I... I want you to come back home! It's not right for the only Emiya in town not to be in the Emiya household! I know that you don't want me to look to you all the time for help and that you are doing this for my sake... but I will do my best to become better from now on! ...If you aren't there to see it, then I just see the point of moving on from this point..." She asserts strongly, yet ends in fear and doubt. "You said that if I ever see you turning bad, then I need to punish you as badly as you do for me. ...I can't do that if you are away. I think that you are acting bad by not being with me... us, where you belong!"

Last chance, Emiya Shirou. Do you break her heart and let her go after all that? Or do you keep your promises and finally take responsibility for this mess? Where I belong? Is it in the home I desperately wish to create or the darkness that calls out to me? "If that is your wish, then that is how it will be. Could you go and get the groceries for tomorrow then? I'll stay this last night away and return tomorrow with a feast that will appease that unruly tiger."

"Y-yes! I will!" She is happy. Today definitely went in unexpected directions, but I can't regret it if only for the few seconds she could smile without anything thought. The best part was that she didn't even notice it.

"Hah... See you then." I walk away refreshed. "See you, Sakura. Keep in mind that just because I will be there, that doesn't mean I will go any easier on you."

"I know... I don't want you to go easy on me, but I won't be holding back from now on either! See you, Senpai! You better not be late tomorrow!"

"Yeah, yeah... See you tomorrow."

She really has come a long way in a few short months. Even if she has to fake her enthusiasm, it is like she is a new person.

Sakura stopped asking where I was staying a while ago, but probably only because she found out herself. If I were to guess, Tohsaka and Sakura couldn't tolerate not knowing and spied on me with all sorts of magics. This was inevitable in that case.

...I spend a final night in the darkness. I can only see it then. The truth of things hidden in darkness so deep human eyes can no longer see anything. ...But I see it.

Every golden sunset and every radiant moonlit night must end. They fade into brilliant twilight, leaving only a memory of a golden and silver time. Darkness will always swallow that light... Darkness full of doubt, which we shall always fear will last forever. But the night is darkest before the dawn. Even if it does not shine as great as the light that is held by nostalgia, the light does return. Arcueid smiled, knowing this future, not because she was okay with this. She was as afraid as I was. ...Yet she chooses not to give into that fear. She chose rather to place faith in me so that I would find the answer on my own. When the moon wanes into the dark, the sun sets, and the world is put under the thickest darkness. ...Then I shall be there standing in the place of the light, acting in the darkness that is too thick for anyone else to traverse.

That is my answer. I can no longer fool myself with lies that I won't be full of regret, but even still...

"Hah." I laugh a little. I move on, and the gentle nostalgia finally starts to outweigh the stinging sorrow.

Once you leave heaven, then you won't ever be able to return there... But there is no rule saying that you can't find another heaven on the journey.

Doorway to summer (Music) /7sxfABkV3oU

A few days later, I moved back into my own home for the celebration of Tohsaka, Taiga, and Sakura, who made me make a feast all for their sakes. They all said complimented me with varying degrees of enthusiasm. I take a deep breath and keep pushing ahead. August came faster than I expected. The last day of school was July 20th, also marking Taiga's first semester as a homeroom teacher. The last day of school before the break was a day of moving on to the next task. The thing that I had been putting off thinking about until I had to. My 'summer courses' across the world. Before that, there were a few minor loose ends to cut.

I found Shinji after school before the last day of the club with some girls who seem to have taken an interest in him. I didn't much understand it, but he did seem to always have some luck with girls. Issei and I didn't really care, but some other boys in the class grumbled about it.

"Well, Shinji, what will you be doing over break?"

"Pah, what does it matter to you, Emiya? You look as dirty as ever. Were you out playing with other dogs in the mud?" The girls by his side giggled at me.

"No, the track team just needed help unclogging a drain to get water off the track." So I did have to get myself dirty.

"You continue to debase yourself with that work? You could treat yourself to whatever you want, considering your money and power, yet you continue to act like you are a custodian. It is pathetic."

"I'm really not at all powerful, Shinji. I can't accomplish anything that I wish I could. ...But you could have the things you may want if you put your mind to it."

"What do you care, Emiya? You and Sakura are the same... monsters that shouldn't exist!"

Maybe so... But if he won't help Sakura escape from that designation, then he himself is a barrier that needs to be destroyed. "...Even after everything, Shinji. I still consider you a friend of mine. You have choices for your own path forwards." It took the combined efforts of myself Sakura, and Tohsaka to mend Shinji back together. Magical injuries and curses that disease even the soul go deep and take time to heal. Even now, Shinji must be in pain. "Remain as you are, and you will find that the same result will return. Otherwise, change yourself, and maybe you will find that what you fear most is not as bad as it seems."

"Talk in riddles all you like. There is nothing for me to change! How many girls do you get as you are, huh, Emiya? If you want to be a janitor for the rest of your life, then fine. Act like a commoner for all I care, but don't you dare look down on me!"

"...You are right. You are a far better person than me in many respects. I don't understand many of the things you are able to do."

"Hah. Of course, I am." He smiled proudly. "As if any girl would like a guy as hopeless as you are."

"Since that is the case, then how about a simple wager?"

"What kind of wager? I will not accept anything dirty like you would excel in."

"No, nothing like that. In fact, it is a skill that we have been training together and at the exact same time."

"Hmm. And what would that be, Emiya?"

"Archery, of course. I'll be there today. You don't have to show up, of course, but I hear that Tohsaka sometimes likes to watch the archery club. You never know who she could be impressed by."

I walk away without another word. He will come; I know it.

Later, on the way to the archery club, I meet a familiar face. It is Sakura with Mitsuzuri, an unexpected pair. Mitsuzuri is in the same class as Tohsaka, Shinji, Issei, and myself. If one person could be closest to being called friends with Tohsaka, it was her. She was also one of Tohsaka's greatest enemies, which was just a name for the people that Tohsaka respects enough to acknowledge. In school, Tohsaka's main enemies were me, Ayako, and Issei.

I wave, but Sakura seems embarrassed as soon as she sees me. Sakura flees as soon as she sees me. Usually, she is happy to see me, but in this case, it seemed she had a reason to want to stay away. It is kind of inexplicable.

"Mitsuzuri-san? What were you talking to Sakura about?"

"Sakura, eh? You two must close if you talk about her like that."

"Of course... We share the same guardian, so she is sort of like a sister to me."

"Really? So Fujimura-sensei looks after her too? Well, that explains a few things for me. Namely her interest in archery, among other things."

"Among other things?"

"That is a secret between Matou-chan and myself. Not that you would see the signs even if they were right in front of you since you are so clueless." She chuckles at my expense.

"Hmm..."

"What are you doing, Emiya?"

Sakura is being more assertive in finding new things for her to branch into. Something she would rather keep me from knowing? ...Then I better keep out of it. If she can do it all on her own, and she doesn't even have to have me help her, then that is another advancement.

"I'm thinking, isn't that obvious?"

The girl in front of me is another acquaintance of mine. I have been so engrossed in helping Sakura that it can feel like she was the only person in the world at times.

Mitsuzuri is the next in line to be captain of the Archery club overseen by the tiger of Fuyuki herself. She's very insightful, and everyone expected her to become captain since she joined the club, so even now, she is seen as the vice-captain of sorts. ...Well, in other words, her mental age is older than her real age, so she's been the older sister type everyone counts on, even as a first-year. Though, she gets mad when people say that. According to her, she's not that old.

"Huh? Were you just thinking badly of me?"

"I wouldn't dream of it. I was just thinking objectively about the truth. Though, it's up to you if you want to feel angry about it."

"Oh, you don't say. That's good. You answered honestly, but you never revealed what you were thinking about. You don't let your guard down like Shinji does."

"Shinji? What does he have to do with this?"

"Because you guys are friends. You're the only male friend he has, right? And you might have forgotten, but I'm in the archery club too. Don't you think it's only natural for me to connect the current problem student with the only one who can get him to do anything?"

"Yeah, that's certainly natural. The archery club has nothing to do with it, but I certainly do have an unsavory and inseparable relationship with him. In fact, that is why I challenged him to a match just now."

"Against Shinji? Emiya-kun, I did not think you were the competitive type at all. You also go off on your own like you own the place."

"Sure I am. I come to Archery club, don't I?"

"Haha. But you are always off on your own. You take advice from other people, sure, but it

"I didn't realize you had such an eye for me, Mitsuzuri-san."

"Sure I do, as does everyone else. Even the upperclassmen look at you in disbelief."

"Why?"

"...Are you saying you haven't realized it?"

"Realized what?"

Before she could say anything, I was interrupted by the introduction of a tiger. "Realized that you are the best shooter we have, Shirou."

"...Were you listening in, Fujimura-sensei?"

"Of course. I have two of my most promising students talking alone, so how could I not listen in? Regardless, what would Sakura think if she saw you two getting along?"

"I don't see how this has anything to do with Sakura, Fujimura-sensei," I respond.

"Well. I hate to agree with our teacher, but she is right, Emiya. You are the best archer we have got."

...Yeah, she's not wrong. I'm better than anyone when it comes to shooting arrows. Even though I was away for a while, I'm sure I could get the same result I had when I used to come here more often. Ever since I used up all the archery power I had to defeat Gilgamesh, I have been taking a long break. I can fire straight. But that's not because of my skill in archery. I can hit the target as I do in my mind because of my everyday training in magic.

"That's not true, Fuji-Nee. I'm missing the 'endurance' part of accuracy, piercing strength, and perseverance."

"What? Do you mean how you have to shoot more than 200 arrows a day and how everything else is just releasing the bow? You know boring things, Shirou."

"Hey, you should know this if you do archery. At any rate, I can't shoot if my mind isn't into it. I'm not prepared at all, so I don't know if I'll even hit the target."

"...Oh. But Shirou, shooting arrows every day isn't the only way to train. The endurance is good enough if you're training yourself. It's good to make a distinction, but it's also good to try to respect archery. It'll all be good if you just nod, so be honest once in a while." Fuji-Nee disappears into the range and I follow. Mitsuzuri comes in with me.

"Fujimura-Sensei scolds you all the time, huh?"

"I guess so. She told me not to worry too much. Well, she's totally right."

"Oh, I see. I thought you were going to quit because you got bored of archery? That's not it at all, is it?"

"It's unexpected? What? You thought I got bored with archery?"

"Yeah. You only missed the target once. You have been freaking good ever since I joined the archery club. Your form was really beautiful, and you looked like you didn't know how to miss. I thought you weren't happy about hitting the target because you're so good. You can get into the mentality without the bow, so I was annoyed that the bow might just be hindering you."

"..."

"Oh, did I guess right? I bet I did. Shooting is the mentality of shooting your mind, right? The arrow is not shot at the target, but shot at the mind of the shooter trying to hit the target. So you won't understand the mentality if you can't face yourself."

In other words, archery is a way to kill yourself. It's trying to make yourself transparent and to become one with nature. The eight stages of shooting, ashibumi, dozukuri, yugamae, uchiokoshi, hikiwake, kai, hanare, and zanshin, exist for that purpose Kai: the unity of the self and the target. Hanare: releasing the arrow which has become yourself, and the moment time stops. Zanshin: the self that is shot to the target already knows 'it will hit,' and the action and the result become one to make the past and the future into a point. It is only a way to train yourself according to to set stages. Yes. Archery is similar to meditation in magic. Inside of my mind, that is how I can rationalize that which is not supposed to be rational. It is like forcing an irrational number to seem normal.

"Well, it's like preaching to the Buddha. Hitting the target is like a bonus in archery. Archery is more like a path to obtain the mentality. It's a path and not a technique. But to put it another way, you can't reach that mentality without bow and arrow. ...I thought that was the boring part for you. We shoot arrows and feel it when we hit the target. We know hitting the target is only a technique, but we can't tell if we succeeded unless the arrow hits the mark. But you're the type that doesn't care where the arrow goes. ...Anyone can hit the target in archery. Disregarding bothersome things like the eight stages of shooting, anyone can hit the target if they pursue 'the technique to hit the target'. But they are only making the arrow hit the target with technique. Real shooting hits no matter how bad the shooter may be."

"...I don't know. I go to the range so that I can hit the target."

"That's what I'm talking about. Isn't there a faster way than getting a bow and going into the range? First of all, the bow and arrow are unnecessary for you. You missed a target once before, right? I went to see how surprised you'd look, but you were acting normally. I asked you why, and you said 'I missed because I imagined for it to miss'. It didn't miss as a result, but you made it miss with your own will. That's when I thought that you're always imagining the arrow striking the target before you release it."

"Hm...? What are you saying? That's just basics, right? Don't you imagine the arrow hitting the target and releasing it accordingly?"

"Of course. People try different things wishing for a good result. But it's only in our imagination. We can't 'see' it like you do, Emiya. It means you're one with nature. You've reached nothingness, to put it in martial arts terms."

...Hm. I don't know if I'm really "seeing", but I can nod back to the nothingness part. It is the strength of a magus to erase oneself to make the self into a circuit. It is the role of Angra Mainyu to be the nothingness that can destroy evil. Making the self transparent and ridding oneself of attachments and wishes to only obtain the result. The training of archery and magic are similar in regards to making the self into "nothing". Perhaps that is why it comes to me naturally.

Ayako would be a pretty decent magus if she had the circuits. Maybe that is why Tohsaka almost gets along with her.

"That's difficult. So, what did you want to tell me?"

"It's just that it's easy for you to turn transparent because you're unselfish. You should be more selfish and greedy. It's boring to become a master at such a young age, right? I won't tell you to be like Shinji, but why don't you have some fun once in a while?"

"..."

I'm at a loss for words. I think that's not true, but I can't think of anything that's fun for me. "See. That's why you're troubling Sakura so much. You have to know how to have fun now, or you won't be able to when you get old. People call those kinds of people good-for-nothings, you know?"

"...Man. has it become so bad that a classmate is worrying about when I get old? Why are you so worried about me?"

"Because you don't laugh, Emiya."

"Huh...?"

"I'm talking about the training camp we had before. We were all laughing, but you didn't laugh even at my best jokes."

"...Hm. So..."

"Yup. I'm still holding a grudge from that time. I don't intend on losing next time." She declares as if smiling at a rival.

I'm at a loss for words. Then- "Ah, so you two are already together. You must be planning to cheat against me, aren't you, Emiya?" Shinji arrives from behind.

"Shinji?"

"Yes, did you think I would not take you on myself, Emiya? You are always looking down on me...! I'm sick of you and Sakura, so I will show you today my strength!" His boasting makes some girls giggle.

"I may as well be rooting against you, Emiya," Ayako says.

"Thanks. Hah. Well, it does not matter to me. It's just a friendly competition I thought of on a whim."

"Hah! Now, do you see girls? Emiya thinks of excuses because he knows he will lose handily." The girls that always followed him around giggled.

"Ugh, maybe I take it back. Can you beat Matou-kun so badly that his personality changes?" Ayako relents.

"Hmm. That would be a way of doing it, yes. Yet I expect it will go a certain way that will change him the most." After dressing in the traditional club wear, I take the long bow in my hand. It feels suitable, but it isn't as if I needed it to perform the steps.

Since we are just facing ourselves, it's not really a true face-off, but this was the only thing I could think of that he would be forced to agree to. Shinji would never face me on anything that he doesn't think he can cheat to win.

"It doesn't matter to me what you want to do, Shinji. First to 100 shots on target? Or first to not get a perfect bulls-eye? Or if you want, we can go very simple and just have it, so the first one to miss the target once loses. How about it, Shinji?"

"Ah-hem. I could easily do any of those competitions, but I wouldn't want to win too easily! So why not the last choice, for your sake, of course." Shinji is smiling just a bit too much for my liking. Shinji is good enough to hit the target at the end, but he wouldn't survive in actually being accurate.

The match itself was informal, but the entire club was watching along. I may have even smelled the characteristic sweet smell of a certain red devil, as well as the flowery smell of my kouhai. But my entire being was not dedicated to anything else but archery.

The arrow is a circuit, and the bow is simply the transmission of energy. The path of its fire will always be straight, for I am passing my own soul along with it. My arrow hits the middle of the target, his place barely inside the target area. But his results don't matter to me.

I am so engrossed in the act of this that nothing breaks my consideration. Even when I hear the crowd gasp about something, I continue going. Archery is no different from swinging a hammer and forging a sword. Depending on how I swing, I achieve a specific result. Thus I test the limits to how accurate of a swing I can make it.

I fire each arrow with the intent of moving the arrow to the right by a single centimeter each time, no more, no less. ...Each time, the result is determined far before the arrow is fired from the string. Each time I craft a new shot to perfection. I don't stop there. I fire with my full power, and the target itself is forced to move by the weight of my soul. Each arrow is a component of my thrusting soul.

The bow is unnecessary. I could project and reinforce the arrows and fire them simply with my mind. I nearly start doing so then and there. But then someone forcibly stops me, breaking my concentration.

"Hmm? The match is not over yet. Fuji-nee?" Fuji-nee had stopped me for some reason.

"Emiya..." Everyone was looking at me strangely, and they were in a little shock. That was when I noticed I was bleeding. The bow had shattered and impacted my shoulder, and yet I had felt nothing. As if that was simply too little of a force to register to my mind. My body may have human and ordinary limits... but my mind has become numb to it. It was not shock at the sudden injury, but rather it was as if my mind didn't even register it as an injury at all.

"Shirou, you are hurt; you need to stop!"

"It's not that serious, Fuji-nee..." My shoulder looked bad. Wood had impaled it, and the club didn't know what to do. My complete non-reaction to it made them think that it wasn't serious, but if this had happened to anyone else, then they would have an injured shoulder that needed months to heal. Perhaps in a different world, that would have been my fate here.

A bow usually won't break even with the amount of force I apply to it. I keep good control to make sure that I don't bend it too much, so it should be something that doesn't happen. ...If it does happen, then that means the bow was improperly maintained. ...Or sabotaged in some way.

"Let's continue the match, Fuji-nee. It looks much worse than it is."

"Not in my Dojo, Shirou! Do you know how dangerous that was!? You could have lost an eye or a finger! If it doesn't hurt now, then I'll make it hurt if you try to continue!" Fuji-nee's fury is unleashed.

"Sorry... I didn't even notice."

"That's impossible, Shirou! You must be in tons of pain right now! I can't have you with a hurt shoulder on my watch!" She started covering me with bandages in full big-sister mode. It seemed that her teacher persona ended as soon as she thought that I was hurt. "Ah, I need bandages!"

Then the students come to see me. "Ah, Shinji."

"Hah. What a shame, Emiya. It seems that Emiya didn't maintain his bow properly, and it broke right in his hands; what a shame. You may even have to go to the hospital if the wood has stabbed you." Shinji says without any sense of apology in him.

"Congratualations, Shinji. It seems you have defeated me. Even if it was by these sorts of tactics, it was a victory nonetheless."

"Tch. It was a wager, wasn't it? Are you prepared to do as I say, Emiya. I think that it is time that-"

"Oh, yes. You win something very special, Shinji. However, I never said what the wager was about, did I? I will teach you that one thing you have desired to know for a long time."

"W-what...? This is preposterous. I don't know if-"

"It's not a matter of what you want. To be honest, I don't care much about your wishes. However, as Sakura does, then that means I can't just leave you as you are. You'll have to become much better than you are now. I just did this out of courtesy to you and to see how your archery was coming along."

"This is a complete farce! Y-you are... You can't be a human."

"Yep, it is a farce. This is the difference between a real magus and an ordinary person. You just find yourself unlikely enough to fall in the middle area between two worlds. Neither one will accept you, but that does not mean you are without hope. There are things that you can do that I can not if you felt like you could do them." A threatening air radiates from my body. "You want to prove yourself as the true heir of the Matou, don't you? I can give you that opportunity. I can help rebuild your life if that is what you desire. Otherwise, you can keep on pretending as if nothing has changed. ...But I warn you, Shinji. You keep a lie that is dangerous going on for too long, and your mind will break under its pressure. If that happens, then the mercy I withheld for Sakura is unlikely to apply to you. When someone becomes nothing more than a mass of regret and hate, then the only mercy that remains is to excise it."

"...Damn you, Emiya. He's crazy..." He slipped back in fear of me. He would have fallen if not for Fuji-nee, who appears and saves him.

"Hey, Shirou, what are you talking about with Shinji-kun?" Fuji-nee appeared with more medical supplies.

"It's just a small thing, Fuji-nee. Shinji was just telling me he wants to change. He says he will be treating Sakura like a real big brother from now on, and he wants to be more polite and respectful towards everyone. Ah, and don't worry about the injury, Fuji-nee. It seems like it wasn't as bad as it looked."

The wound was already 30% gone. It was threading itself back together like chainmail.

"Ah. It's good to see you two are getting back together! Shinji doesn't have many friends, after all." Fuji-nee hugs Shinji. "You are not alone, Shinji; I'm your guardian, remember? So you can come to me whenever you need help, okay!"

"Get off me, you tiger! I don't want to see S-sakura! I don't want to see Emiya! You people did this to me, you freaks!" Just saying Sakura's name was enough to send potent fear through his brain. But he underestimates Taiga.

"What you call me!? Don't call me tiger! I'll show you!" Taiga crushes him even more. It's like impromptu wrestling.

Hmm... If I recall when Shinji and I were closer, he did have something of a thing for big-sister types. So much so that he kept putting manga in my room. No... Could he actually have something for Taiga?"

"You are a brute! Agh, get away from me, you tiger woman!" I'll take that as a no. "I'm surrounded by crazy people!"

"I am your guardian and teacher, and you will treat me with respect! That means I am not a tiger! You should come over and apologize to your sister

"Sakura's evil...! Agh, anyone help me...! I'm being kidnapped!" Taiga dragged him off like a tiger drags a carcass. Life was the same as ever, even now.

The same girls he came in with were gone. They grew bored of him as soon as he stopped entertaining them. Only when I saw Taiga did I realize I am not as heavy-handed as I think I am. ...If she attained the power of magic, then she would be a force of reckoning on the entire world, I am sure.

"Hah... He really is strange." Ayako huffs. The truth she saw in his archery was a terrifying one. Yet it seemed that only she had noticed. Shirou's shots had not been all perfect bullseyes, and from an outside perspective, his score wouldn't have been called much better than Shinji's. Yet she knew that he had fired each one perfectly, and even after his bow shattered in his hands due to the force of his shots, he was ready to keep going without it. Each arrow had impacted a perfect length apart from the next. The thing that scares her is what would happen if he fired without the bow in hand. It is an impossible unrequited rivalry, she realizes. Emiya Shirou has no enemy except for himself.

Ayako wished to see him smile a true smile, but she had no idea of where to even begin with someone like him.

After that incident, Shinji did change slightly. His rehabilitation would take even longer than Sakura's, and the results would never be as satisfying, but even if he ended up as a slightly more stable person, then it was worth it, if only for his sister's sake. This was inevitable. If Shinji can not change, then Sakura will never be able to change. So I will take initiative and give Shinji the chance to see his choices in life. Sakura may have shown him the pain of magic, but I would show him the truth of it without reservation. I could only hope it could have any chance of pulling him towards a better path. And if Shinji finally gets his act together and can treat his sister right, then Sakura could see that she had many families and names, and she wouldn't need to hate any of them.

August was only a week away. My trip to London was already planned out and the flights and rooms booked. Everything was going to plan, but there was one last thing that needed to be resolved before I could go. Luckily, It resolved itself without me having to look.

Sakura and I were going to Tohsaka together for the first time in a long time to have a serious discussion. Tohsaka had called on only me, but I figure that it is also time to start treating Sakura less like a little sister who I need to shelter from the world and more like a little sister who needs to learn how to fend for herself.

"Don't worry, Sakura. I will... make her ready for you; then we can discuss anything you want to bring up."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me to London, Sakura? I could probably get you a place to stay, at least at a hotel if need be. I don't want it to be

"No, I know that. I don't want always to feel the need to follow you, even if I will be a bother for you."

"You are never a bother. But I won't fight you if that is your choice, considering you are following my own lessons and making yourself independent. ...I'm proud of you, Sakura."

"T-thank you." She says with rapturous eyes. It is as if she would be fine with any amount of torture as long as I would give her little compliments like that.

"Now, if we will be talking to Tohsaka about this then I need to prepare for a fight of my own. Do you believe in me, Sakura?"

"I trust you..." But there was a hint of hesitation in her seeing me as somewhat undependable when it comes to defeating Tohsakwa with the strength of will alone. I need to do my best now for Sakura. "But I don't know if you are the best at standing up to Nee-san."

"Way to encourage me."

"Hehe... It's just that you have always had a soft side for Nee-san. ...I used to hate it. I was jealous... So jealous... But I can't be like that anymore. That's just because of how kind you are, and I don't want you to lose that." It seemed like that jealousy hadn't completely faded. Jealously usually came in green, but for Sakura, it was a deep purple. Her soul has been stained with envy for a long time, and getting it out may be impossible. ...But a girl jealous of me is an odd feeling, one that is almost exciting.

When we make it to Tohsaka's house, I open the door that recognizes me and pull Sakura in behind me. She is nervous when she enters the home that should have been hers, but she finds the courage to come in. The house seems to accept her existence.

I make it to Tohsaka's study and enter with a knock as she sits looking nervous about something. Before she notices me, it is like she keeps making sure her hair looks good, and everything is perfect about her. I don't understand why she would do that just because I was visiting. She really was diligent in always showing her best side... most of the time.

"I am here, Tohsaka. I think we should talk-" I am immediately interrupted with a command.

"Kneel," she says with authority. She sits cross-legged, holding a red heart necklace in her hands. Her black leggings make her thighs stick out as pristine and white. I don't know where to look. This feels all strangely wrong, yet I can't help but feel an excitement there too. If not for Sakura's eye boring into my back, this situation may have gone a completely different way.

"...Huh?" No. Alright... I will be quiet. I must not anger the red devil more than she already is. "Uh..."

"What is it? I told you to kneel!" She is not in a good mood. Or at least that is how she has decided to act in this situation.

"..." I kneel while she sits there.

Her thighs really are pretty, and they reach up all the way to her skirt then... Eh... bad thoughts… But really, she does look more serious than even usual today. As her butler, I know how long it takes for her to make her look like this. This is her battle outfit requiring hours of preparation.

"Before anything, Tohsaka, I need to tell you-" She holds her hand up to stop me.

"Shush. You will not speak unless I wish it. I order you to remain quiet." Sakura is right there! I want to scream, yet I have no voice.

"..." Am I really so well-trained...? By the writing of the contract that binds me as her servant, within this house, her words are law. ...But to say that is the reason that I find it hard to truly go against her is a lie.

"Much better. Now, we are going to have a long, deep, and tough conversation about you taking responsibility. Are you ready, Emiya-kun?" Is she aware of what she is saying? I feel a deep outrage from behind me. This is not going the way I wanted, and I think it is about to go a way that Tohsaka didn't anticipate. "Let's us begin then, no need-"

"What are you doing, N-nee-san!" Sakura can wait no longer.

"Huh? ...S-Sakura... What are you doing here!?" A red embarrassment suddenly grew in Tohsaka's cheeks. Her attempt at domination leads straight into ruin. "Wha... This isn't what it looks like... Emiya, tell her! Get up...!"

"..." I say nothing. You ordered me to be quiet, remember?

"Nee-san... Unforgivable. I should never have trusted you..."

This peace agreement failed immediately. None of us achieved what we wanted to. Whatever progress made towards accepting Tohsaka seems to shatter.

"..." Haha... I rub my neck dumbly. This is not going well.

"Nee-san... If you are like this so unfairly to Senpai, then I will take it with him. If you punish him for something, then you have to punish me twice as much!" Uncertain, Sakura actually comes to my side and kneels as well. In some form of solidarity, or perhaps to align her and me on the same side.

"Emiya, if you don't speak up, then I swear... W-what is Sakura doing I-in here...! You can't just bring here in here...! It's not at all what it looks like!" Tohsaka seems to cry out to the heavens, but no one answers her prayers.

I see it is my time to take responsibility for this mess. "Well... I assumed that when you called me, that... we need to talk. All three of us. What is wrong with having Sakura in here?"

"Hmph... It's not bad... It's just... Since Sakura isn't coming to London, I thought we were going to resolve that one conversation together once and for all." She whispers the next part. "I got all dressed up too... You wouldn't have been able to say no this time..."

"If you have something to talk about, then it includes her too. She is your sister."

"..." Now, all the pressure was on Tohsaka. She had us below her, yet she was unsatisfied. "I know. ...I said stop kneeling... jeez, this is not at all how it went in my mind..." She muttered annoyingly. She lamented the fact that her attempts at asserting herself over her own butler always turned out wrong. "Hah... Yes. This is fine. I will make good use of this. A Tohsaka just has to rethink their plans when they hit a problem."

We were now all standing up, and all of our initial plans were gone. So we can start over from zero.

Tohsaka talks after thinking for some time. "Now... sister... What is it that you wanted to see me for?"

"Who are you talking to...?" Sakura ask hesitantly.

"Who else? ...You are my sister, Sakura." Tohsaka says steadily, despite her fluttering heart. "I think that is clear by now. Even if it means going against the rules of magi, I'll just have to live with it."

"...Nee-san..." Sakura's eyes grew wide. Warm tears fall from her eyes.

"Don't cry, Sakura. You are going to get the carpet dirty. Emiya-kun, console her like you always do so we can move on with this." Tohsaka seems to be embarrassed and now reverts to her magus persona.

"I'm not the one she wants to hug, Tohsaka."

"..." Tohsaka's cold Magus visage crumbles for a moment, and she comes down and hugs her little sister. "Don't expect this all the time... I can't handle selfish people. Next" Tohsaka chides her little sister.

"T-thank you... Nee-san... I won't do it again." Strength with a purpose. What she had before was simply raw power born out of pure hate and sorrow.

Tohsaka hugs her sister for a time.

Two sisters are finally reunited within the home they should have grown up together in. Eventually, they calm down. "Gah... This is getting altogether too sentimental. I need to look at this objectively. Don't think that all this will make me forget my responsibility...! You two are dangerous to society and to Magecraft! Just by having a connection to a vampire, you will find yourself excommunicated from the Association and hunted as a heretic. Not to mention that you are as much of a monster as she was…" Tohsaka rubbed her temples.

Surprisingly, Sakura speaks up in my defense. "Senpai is not a monster. We are prepared, Nee-san. Whatever punishment you wish to levy on us, we will take it. But don't call Senpai a monster… I can't let you do that."

"Ahem, well, maybe I was being hyperbolic, but that doesn't mean I can just forget what I saw. A Reality Marble, partial manifestations of what appears as if it is the third Magic, Sakura drawing power from outside of this world, and Shirou's body…" She shakes her head. "How am I supposed to reconcile that with the Shirou who I have been living with for so many years now…?"

"I know I am not normal, Tohsaka. …I know I really should not be among everyone else, having any happiness at all. ...I am prepared to share whatever burden we have caused you. If that means you don't want me here, then I'll do it. You can have the house We are both sorry for the trouble we have caused and ready to atone for it with our lives. I want to do all sorts of things together!"

"..." Tohsaka was left looking lost again. "You two… Hah." She sighs. "Don't place words in my mouth. How could you know what I want?"

"Do I have any say in this?" I ask.

"No. You still need to give me more gems from this creation process of yours before I am satisfied that your debts are paid." Like being forced to pay the warden for imprisoning you. "Even if the contract between our families only applies to Fuyuki, I expect that you will remain loyal. That means you need to come over more often. Even in London, I expect you to clean my room and do the usual chores. ...It's hard for me to do them now that you keep spoiling me." She mutters the last part.

Sakura interrupts surprisingly. "Absolutely not...!" She asserts. "I mean, we can all have dinner together at Senpai's home like always. You don't need to be alone with her any more than usual. And even that is already far too much. Senpai will be-err, tired to have to walk here and there all the time." She sounds almost bitter.

"Sakura, It's no issue. I'm used to walking."

"It is a problem! What if you fell over, or what if you got lost...? I couldn't forgive you if you did that again..."

Tohsaka retakes control. "Ahem, that is correct. Keeping an eye on you is important. Dinner at my apartment could serve that purpose." She rationalizes this. "Of course, that means you need to be at dinner on time, and it needs to be ready when I want it!" She yells for some reason.

"Alright, I can do all that. But if you are going to make rules on what I am going to be doing in London, then can I make one of my own for after?"

"...I will hear what you have to say."

"I want Sakura and Tohsaka to go out alone at least once weekly. I want it to be more than just time spent tutoring or doing chores. Just time spent together for the sake of it. I'm not accepting any deal without this as a part of it. …I mean, if only to give you a day off from having to bother with me." I say the last part because of an old lesson Irisviel taught me. Always give someone an excuse to do what they would be too embarrassed to do otherwise.

My condition is a surprise to both of them. It is something they hadn't dared to say themselves, but now that it is on the table, it can be considered. It is something they both secreted wanted. "...I would... be willing to compromise on such a thing. If only so I can keep my eyes off her as well..." Tohsaka nods cleanly.

"Yes...! I mean, me too. N-nee-san has so much she could show me…" Sakura uncovers her willingness but calms herself. "But there is one last thing I need to ask."

"Yes, Sakura...?" Tohsaka allows. There is an old threatening color to Sakura right now.

"Senpai and Nee-san... You are alone in this room a lot, don't you think?" Sakura becomes very forceful very quickly, putting us on the back foot. "Senpai, you couldn't have… You can't be with her, can you?"

"With her? I am with her right now. What do you mean?" Sakura slowly nods.

"Hmfh..." Sakura's visage withers. "Are you two getting together behind my back?"

"W-why do you think that? Tohsaka and I have never done that, Sakura, I swear it. I-I mean, seriously… me and Tohsaka… Haha… impossible." She treats me like a slave on her best days. We might be close, like really really close, but not like that, right? People can love each other even if they aren't romantically interested in them. ...Right?

"Impossible…?" Tohsaka pouts in the corner of my vision for some reason.

"But Nee-san said that she...! You and her we're enjoying yourselves alone in her room!" That did sound... dirty...

This was embarrassing for all of us. Now Tohsaka was pinker than maybe ever. "I-I never said such a thing! You are lying, Sakura! I totally never made that seem like that was true!" My eyes detected a falsehood, but my head was spinning too much to make use of it.

"Don't try to gaslight me! I won't take it sitting down anymore! You were making fun of me, and you were saying you were going to take Senpai for yourself once and for all! I won't allow it." A more primal Sakura appeared.

"T-Tohsaka… I-I mean… I never…" I had never seen Tohsaka pushed into such a corner before now. She just goes silent.

"You deny it, but the evidence should be there. Now, Tohsaka-senpai, first you will show me your room, then I will decide for myself."

We never did end up talking about the serious things we were supposed to as the day turned into an impromptu tour of the Tohsaka house for Sakura's sake. ...Her old room and all the places she once called her home. She seemed to be happy even if she was inspecting the house suspiciously as if she would find some kind of damning evidence.

Sakura was intently investigating the place she once called home. A long inspection of the Tohsaka house followed. Sakura pushed even her sister around as she surveyed her former home. By the end, the misunderstanding was solved, and Tohsaka swore that she would never ever even think of me as a potential partner or husband in a million years. Of course, she was lying, but that was obvious even without eyes that show truth. But it was all an excuse to show Sakura a new home she was accepted in. A place she could come and see her sister and help to clean and foster. I know it won't be official, but Tohsaka already considers Sakura to be a part of her family and will make use of her as such.

This makes me happy. Yet no smile graces my lips, only a nice and conclusive breath. A long and tiresome duty is fulfilled. A long time ago, a difficult plan was conjured. It was a very ugly one, which went down a dark path. It never quite went the way I wish it would. I made many promises to Sakura, and perhaps she has forgotten them, but I never stopped trying to push these two together in my own way. It may be that the price that was paid to achieve this reality was too high, but that is part of the deal. A deal with the devil will never go the way that it appears.

Sisters who were broken apart are now back together.

Reunion (Music) /efpGRmC85j4

The night before it was time to fly across the world to London, Sakura broke through another barrier. ...But it wasn't really what I was expecting nor preparing for. As Sakura became more independent, that also meant she was changing into a person who I no longer had control over. That was great... but also sort of like losing a part of me.

It all started when Tohsaka came to my house to get everything ready. I was bringing a single duffle bag as my father used to, which was full of only the things I needed. Tohsaka was bringing so much that I wouldn't be surprised if she never intended to return at all. ...For how economical she is, she also has the air of an upper-class lady.

Since our conversation got sidetracked the other day, we had to continue to talk about logistics. This time both Taiga and Sakura were there. We did manage to get Shinji to come over yesterday, but there was no way he would come just to say goodbye to me. Taiga was sad that I was leaving and made me make multiple meals for her in advance. I made her promise that she wouldn't eat them all in one day then call and complain to me like last time, but she lied to my face with promise after promise that she would be fine. I also had her promise that if she was going to cook, then she would have to do so at her own house, so that I won't have to come home to see that my house had burned down. Because of all this, she was too sad to go on and promptly fell asleep when we started talking about logistical matters.

"Is something the matter, Sakura? You seem to be sighing a lot recently."

"No... Don't worry about me, Senpai. I'm fine by myself." She said that she was happy to stay just a few days ago, but it seemed that her mood was getting worse and worse whenever I brought up my upcoming trip. It's easy to say you are okay staying behind, but when it comes to actually do it... "I just wish you didn't need to go..." She mutters loud enough that I hear her complain. She doesn't complain much, but when she does, that means it is something she really really wishes didn't need to happen.

"I know. I wish I could stay too... But if I stay, and I don't save Illya from herself because I just wanted to be happy... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"...Then you need to go, Senpai. You and Nee-san... Nee-san and Senpai... alone. Hah..." She sighed once more. The miasma of jealousy had only seemed to grow in strength since she visited Tohsaka's house.

Tohsaka came over with some tea after putting Taiga to bed. "Now, Emiya-kun. I think we have reached an agreement about the housing, even if it is not to my complete expectations. You will just have to make it up to me in the form of more debt. No matter the distance of where we are staying, I expect that you will be nearby." Tohsaka seemed to add on more debt whenever I didn't do something for her. It was a nasty scheme that would fit well in the criminal world. "However, there is no more use in talking about it. As for the flight, I got us a good deal. Apparently, they were selling special tickets for Japanese people going to London. A 25% off 'couples' sale, can you believe that, Emiya-kun? It may not be Paris, but London is said to be a romantic city, is it not?"

"Well... If it's cheaper, then that is... a bit... wait. Couples? We can't do that!" Tohsaka really had become a devil recently with all this teasing. Ever since she kissed me on my cheek, it's getting harder for me to ignore. She doesn't even bother to stop when Sakura is right there. In fact, I think she likes doing it right in front of her just to get an even better reaction from me.

"Why not, Emiya-kun? I just had to put down some fake names, and it went through perfectly saving me some precious money. Here is your ticket, Tohsaka Rin and Tohsaka Shirou. The travel agency was quite accommodating in allowing us to share one name. You know, it would make taxes much more simple too if you simply gave this house to my estate. Hehe." She chuckles. How can she be saying this with a straight face? How long has she been preparing herself in the mirror to do this to me? I need to fight even harder in the future, or else she will sweep me away without effort.

But all I can do is look at the ticket names dumbly. "H-hey, that is not my name...! That's your name... We both have the same family name...?"

"Well, I'm not going to let go of my name, will I? That would be a disgrace to my ancestors. You will just have to live with that, Tohsaka-kun." She was smiling evilly enough that this would fit as a curse all on its own.

I cough from the total embarrassment. "Gah... Ah... It better have saved you good money..." I lose this round.

Yet we had both forgotten the third opponent that was right there.

Wait...? Wasn't Sakura listening in to that whole conversation?

Then- Craccck

Like the sound of nails on a chalkboard, something breaks. Yet when I looked all at where the sound came from, all I see is where Sakura's head was. Then she says something that promises even worse doom.

"I'm coming with you," Sakura says without any emotion... Just... nothing. Her face is hidden by her dark hair. Sakura loses her emotions and can no longer resist the impulse. "For your own good, Senpai... Hehehe."

"..."

"..." Her laughter makes Tohsaka and I go silent.

Even though it is tenous to pressure Sakura at the moment, Tohsaka doesn't back down. "Sakura, you hate magic. The Clock Tower is not for you; you yourself were the one who was saying." Tohsaka states coldly. "Think about it logically; you won't fit in a den of snakes like that. It is everything that you don't like."

"She is right, Sakura... but I did offer it to you so... Well... Tohsaka, remember when I said that I would look out for a servant for you? Your room will have enough space for two, so..."

"Sakura...? In my room...? But that would mean that she would probably be there anytime you would come over..."

"That is perfect!" Sakura exclaims. "That would be what I want." She says earnestly. "It isn't a matter of if the place I need to go. I have thought about it logically, and I have concluded that the greatest threat to Senpai... is Nee-san. Therefore I will be coming with you to London."

"That is not a valid reason, Sakura. Sorry, but even if Emiya-kun offers it, I veto the idea."

"Why? Because you want Senpai all to yourself?"

"That has nothing to do with this. It is only a matter that you are not fit to be even an apprentice at the Clock Tower. You are lacking in holding any desire to pursue magic. I train you as you are now only to keep you from losing yourself, but I am not truly teaching you so that you will improve."

"I can be a great magus... we have the same number of circuits, Nee-san. I know more magic than Senpai. I have a right to go if you two are..."

"It isn't a matter of your potential or right. You still can not say that you can be a magus without regret."

"Are you sure, Tohsaka...? Considering you two have the best compatibility with one another as magi. Or are you just afraid of hurting your sister again?"

"Don't analyze me, Shirou. Don't take her side. Sakura is just not who I want as my servant, so that's that." Tohsaka pouts.

Then Sakura makes things even worse and laughs. She rarely laughs, but when she does, it usually is not a good thing. I can see that Sakura just thought of a great idea in her head, and that I can not stop her from saying it. "If that is the case, Nee-san... Then I guess that means that I will just have to stay with Senpai in his room then. Ah... That's too bad." She fakes dissatisfaction, but she is smiling widely at Tohsaka as if she has won. "You will let me stay, right Senpai? I promise I'll try as hard as you tell me to, and I will struggle as much as I can to do good things. I can be your apprentice." Her eyes are ones that I can't deny.

"Well... If that is-" I don't get to respond before Tohsaka interrupts.

This leads to the second sudden reversal of the night. Tohsaka is mad but relents."I have reconsidered. I think that Sakura would make as good a servant as any. Since she is my blood sister, that means she is able to do things with me that no other magus could. Emiya-kun is too busy to deal with you, so I guess I will have to take over from here.

"Tch." Sakura clicks her tongue. "I'm happy though... Nee-san will treat me like a real apprentice...?" She nods to herself. It seems that she has chosen to take on the life of a magus after all. I can't deny her if she has that resolve now, even if it means she has to confront all the things she fears once again. The curse that led her to despair will only increase in intensity the closer she makes herself to magic.

Tohsaka smiles a little too. "Don't look happy, Sakura. As you are now compared to your potential, I will need to put you through hell in order to bring you up to my standards. Since you aren't as poor of a magus as Shirou, I will treat you with much higher expectations. Feel free to give up at any time, then I can send you home early, and Shirou and I will be fine by ourselves. Isn't that right, Emiya-kun?"

"Well... Yes, we will be fine if it is too much for you, Sakura. Don't push yourself too hard."

"Hngrg... Then I really can't give up then." Sakura seems to hate my answer for some reason.

Dinner ends. After some late calls, Tohsaka is able to add Sakura to the third seat in the same row on the plane. Before going to bed, I ask one last question with Sakura.

"Are you mad at Tohsaka?"

"I'm now mad at Nee-san... I love Nee-san... I just don't like her when she is alone with you." I didn't really get it... or maybe I did, and it was best that I pretended not to. It was like a huge weight left Sakura. She had stopped being scary, and suddenly, she was more rapturous, as if she had solved everything wrong in the world. "See you tomorrow, Senpai. I'll be on the plane with you, of course." Her smile almost made all the stress worth it.

As soon as we were away from Japan, I was no longer Emiya Shirou.

I am Shirou Von Einzbern, and I simply wish to use my magic to save my sister. I represent the Einzbern family, and I am the successor to the magus-killer. Every fear and rumor about me is true, and I am to be feared as someone who holds immense power that could possibly equal one of the more powerful lords of the Clock Tower. Obviously, that was the ruse. My influence on the Einzbern wasn't anything, but it was minuscule. My ruse was, in fact, only held together by the fact that Illya herself kept to the same agreements that Kiritsugu made. This gave me the illusion of having power when in reality, I was doing nothing but calling myself that.

As long as Illya knows that I am doing this and she is annoyed by it, then that is enough for me to think that it is worth it. Considering she always sends an assassin or two each summer to kill me, it seems that she is quite annoyed. She is such a troublesome little sister who has problems expressing her emotions. ...Her leaving her happy place was my fault. Since I could no longer be the one who could hold her there, she ran back to the one other place she was comfortable in: the cold. She hated that place more than anything, yet she would rather stay there than have to confront me and my inability to match Kiritsugu and Irisviel.

Still, mother said we should stick together, so she is also acting like an idiot. Leysritt and Sella should have stopped her too, so I need to reprimand that entire family as the eldest brother. ...I couldn't do it then, so I will just have to do it now before it is too late. I will find a way to keep Illya alive, and I will make her happy. It's that simple... My goal is, at least. But if the solutions to get there were too, then I wouldn't have to be coming for the third summer in a row.

I need to go over my notes. Both the ones I have started making and the ones Kiritsugu left behind for me. Then I notice someone's head on my shoulder. Sakura fell asleep on the plane. It is her first time flying. I have the feeling that she was up late last night.

"Senpai...? S-sorry..."

"I didn't mind..." She goes back to sleep on my shoulder a little too easily.

She smiles. "Then I will take you up on that..." She rests her head on my shoulder, hesitant at first, but then she lets go and indulges in me as a pillow. She probably wouldn't have kept holding on no matter what I said. She is as troublesome a little sister as Illya is.

Rin can't help but look up from her own notes. "Ugh. Get a room, you two." She sounds annoyed, but for some reason, there is a fit of slight green emotion that I've been seeing more and more from these two recently in that.

For some reason, I got the middle seat after Sakura and Tohsaka had a brief argument with each other. So Sakura is sitting in the window seat, and I'm in the middle, and Tohsaka is in the aisle. "I do have another shoulder, Tohsaka. If that is more comfortable for you-"

"As if I'd want that! Hmph!" She goes back to reading her notes. Her cheeks are as red as her sweater.

"Senpai likes honest girls… He will accept me for who I am... But not you... You are not big enough for him... Hehe…" Sakura was looking at me with stars in her eyes as if she were drunk. Sakura had stayed up way too late nervous about the trip, and now she was sleep deprived. Sakura made a meaningful look towards Tohsaka. The place below her neck, but above her stomach. Now I really didn't know what was going on.

"W-what…? How dare you say that, Sakura… I'm plenty honest...! All natural! Right, Emiya-kun?"

"Uh well..." I'm stuck between quarreling sisters. I offered to take the aisle seat, but Tohsaka protested for some reason. Tohsaka was red in anger, while Sakura smiled contently, ignoring her. As Sakura was around me and out of Tohsaka's reach, I, of course, received all the coming punishment for whatever crime this was.

"Nee-san is always trying to keep you stressed. It's a flight, so you should feel comfortable. Don't stress him out..."

"Grrr... You started it."

"I'm glad you two are getting along so well. I'm glad." Sakura can only be honest because Tohsaka has become more clear too. They might fight, but there is no more hatred in it. "But I have work to do, and if you keep this up, I will have to severely punish you when we arrive." Sakura hated conflict, yet it seemed like she and Tohsaka had been fighting over something recently. Yet they didn't seem to really hate each other. I didn't get it.

"Okay, Senpai, sorry..." She seemed to finally go to sleep.

I read throughout the long flight. There is so much I need to know and quickly. This is literal life and death information.

Last year I had three assassins sent after me. ...The problem is when other people try to kidnap or kill me. I am a forgiving person if it is just me, but if I am with Sakura and Tohsaka this time, I will show no mercy. The people who sent these assassins have been split into different groups. Illyasviel Von Einzbern. Reines El-Melloi Archisorte. Marisbury Animusphere. Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. Barthomeloi Lorelei. Rufleus Nuada-Re Eulyphis. All of them are insane to different degrees. But the names are listed based on the degree to which they seriously want me to die. I hope Illya isn't serious about killing me, but even if she is that's just her going through her rebel phase. It's not like I could condemn her even if she did want me to suffer and die. Reines did it once as a twisted form of a test on me. That was one time I lost my temper and put her in her place. ...That incident is best left unsaid, but I know she is going to bring it up at the worst possible. The other names are topics all on their own, and for the sake of my mental health, I shouldn't be thinking about that all at once.

Though, I could stomach thinking back on one such name.

Note #1: To call my relationship with the Animuspheres complicated is an understatement. Fundamentally, it started two years ago when someone tried to kidnap me for the first time. ...Long story short, that person failed, and I interrogated them using my own very gentle techniques until they told me all they knew. However, such a person has little to tell. Whether because their memories had been altered or they truly didn't even know who their employer was, I didn't learn much then other than that I needed to keep guard. The second and third times were more of the same. That summer was stressful to say the least.

The next summer, this last one, is when I finally was given answers by the one who was trying to kidnap me in the first place. They came to me directly and asked for a meeting, and I accepted. I don't know why they didn't do that from the start, but it is how it is with magi. Olga Marie, a girl no older than

The man who I met was none other than a Lord of the Clock Tower. The head of the Astrology department, Marisbury Animusphere. A man whose entire image was sleek and colored like cream. His offer was simple. "I will make you my heir if you help to grant my wish." It was no lie. It was a man beaten down and brought to desperation, believing that I knew how to grant any wish. I may be known as a Von Einzbern, but I am not Ilya or Irisviel. I don't have a special understanding of the true purpose of the Holy Grail. Yet he didn't take that answer well.

I was more interested in what he wanted and why he desired my help to the point of attempted kidnapping. There were rumors about the Animusphere and their strange abstract goals that reached even my ears. People tend to give away their opinions to me easily when I serve them food. Magi are all fundamentally gossipers.

The Organization for the Preservation of Human Order, as he explained it to me then. An eccentric dream even for me. It would take the efforts of the entire world, after all. In contrast, my ideal is one that I intend to make true alone. His goal was to create a secure network that would protect humanity from threats before they happen or perhaps even after. Almost noble for magi, it seemed like he wanted to do something good for all mankind. I did not trust it. Call it an inclination or an instinct, but it was anxious to tell me that this was all wrong. "Your wish was the wrong color," was the only way I could convey it in human terms. To save the world, a wish like that should shine as bright white as the most brilliant star. Yet his was red and muddy, full of malice and desperation.

I left him last year with that and evaded his further attempt at contact. It seems that he has now taken in a young man by the name of Kirschtaria Wodime as his new protégé. That was not the last time that I would meet Olga Marie, far from it. Yet that information is on a different note entirely. "Hmm... So what are you reading, Emiya-kun?" Before I can move on a different note, Tohsaka mutters at the perfect time as I finish reading. Almost as if she knew my exact progress. She looks expectantly at me to tell her.

"Nothing too important... Just some things that my father left for me and things I have written."

"Wow. I had no idea that you could write Japanese, let alone English."

"Very funny, Tohsaka. I'll have you know that languages are one of the few things I do have a little confidence with."

"It was a compliment, Shirou. You should be honored to receive one from me. That is a good habit for a magus to have. Especially if we- err, you ever have children to give your magic down to. Perhaps the Emiya will become a real magical lineage." She stutters uncharacteristically about something.

Tohsaka was unaware of the true history of the Emiya family. ...A history that she may soon become familiar with if I do the reckless thing I am thinking of doing. "Wait a second... C-children?" My face goes red. Don't think about it...

"What, Emiya-kun? Were you thinking about something stange?

"N-no, definitely not. Don't ask. ...But I don't think that I know anyone that would want to have children with me."

"Hmph." She huffs for some reason. "Well, don't complain when you can't find anyone here in London. I guess you will just have to come back to me and-"

"London is a different story. I could find a girl who would marry me pretty easily."

"What!? W-what are you saying?"

"Hm, what is the problem?"

"Do you have a fiance or something?"

"Hmm. I have been proposed to a few times before."

That gets her attention in a bad way. "You actually have!? ...And what did you say...?" She is clutching her red heart amulet.

"I said no, obviously."

"Hah..." Tohsaka lets out a big breath of relief. "I was almost worried that I was going to lose my servant for a second. Yeah... that's all. It would be a loss of an asset. That's why it was so frightening... As if anyone would seriously propose to you." She nods to herself.

"Well... It's not something too important. I didn't fall in l-love or anything. They were offers of convenience, but don't make any mistake: they were deadly serious offers.

"Serious? Like seriously serious? Shirou, you better tell me who these girls are!" She is loud enough to make her point but not loud enough to wake up Sakura or anyone else on the plane.

"Why?"

"Because I say so! I order you!"

"Your orders only apply within Fuyuki. We are not in Fuyuki. Therefore I don't need to listen. Besides, I don't like the hint of murderous rage you are giving off. It really isn't a big deal."

"It is totally a big deal! How can I ever trust you if you don't inform me of this sort of thing sooner?"

"The offers were so insignificant to me that they wouldn't be worth a mention if you didn't tease me about it. ...This is all your fault, logically."

"How dare you try and use logic against me! As if I care anyway, just get married to some stranger for all I care. Hmph!" I harder she huffs, the greater the lie. ...Tohsaka, in truth, was no better than me when it came to lying.

Now is time for the kill. I will tease her for once and gain the upper hand. "Alright, then maybe I'll consider the proposals then. They are technically still open offers."

"Grrrrr...! How could you say that!?" The red devil has her bark. "I command you to never talk to those sort of people ever again! ...But first you need to tell me who they are, specifically. What kind of person would go so far to offer you marriage?" She stared at me with commanding eyes.

"...Fine. If you are going to be like this all flight, then I'll tell you. I don't have any interest in saying yes, so stop acting like you are Fuji-nee. ...Their names are Olga Marie Animusphere and Reines El-Melloi Archisorte. They also happen to be much younger than me, and I have no interest in them at all. The proposals were more for economic reasons than anything else, and these girls just so happened to be twisted enough to think it was a good idea." Or at least an idea that would make me squirm.

"Animushpere? El-Melloi? ...Those are both Great Families!" This time she does yell before I silence her with my hand.

"Is it such a big deal that you must yell about it?"

"It is! I can't believe you... you pervert! Going after little girls! I didn't know that was what you were into all this time... I guess I should have guessed since you and Illya were so close, Emiya-kun."

"It is not like that at all, and you know it. You will really make people get the wrong idea here. Also, they offered the idea to me under duress, so I am the victim here. ...I am officially not listening to you anymore, Tohsaka. I really should finish up my notes. People really will start getting the wrong idea about us."

The more Tohsaka wants to believe in a lie, the more she tends to say it repeatedly. "Grrr... This is all your fault. ...But you are right, I don't care... I really, truthfully, don't care. Still... you shouldn't tell Sakura. That would go down badly. She may overreact, unlike me."

"Tell me what, Nee-san?" Sakura adds suddenly.

"...! Er, it's nothing, Sakura. Just that Shirou is... err, he has made many acquaintances in London."

"Oh... I'm okay with that, I guess. As long as they understand that they can only ever be his acquaintance, that is. They better not think that they could go as far as being his friend..." How long was she awake...? And why was Sakura suddenly crushing my arm under her weight?

A chill goes down my back at Sakura's ominous threat to anyone I ever meet. "Not listening. Not listening. Need to focus..." I need to read up on my notes... I speak the mantra slowly as if to escape from this plane into a land of peace. But no matter how much I try, I can't get any degree of focus back once Sakura wrapped her arms over my shoulder like a snake, and I fall asleep myself not long after.

At the metro under the airport, I am waiting for Sakura and Tohsaka to meet up with me. They had to go talk to the customs officers or something since it is their first time in the United Kingdom. Therefore I said I would wait for them at the main entrance to the station here. Thus I am standing here awkwardly, holding my bags in my hand. "...I really am in a different country..." There are Caucasians everywhere I look, and now I am the one that stands out once again. Though my red hair isn't uncommon in Europe, so I can almost pass off as a half-westerner.

I walk in circles to wake up my tired legs.

I'd have to help Tohsaka get into her new room, and then I would deal with the difficult stuff. ...She hasn't told me exactly where her room is, but if she negotiated for it with Waver, then it can only be one of the buildings controlled by the El-Melloi family. Every time I asked her where she was staying, she would get mad at me and say that I didn't need to know if I wasn't going to be staying with her... Seriously, I already have a room, so I don't know why she is so adamant about that.

I keep thinking mindlessly amongst the crowd of people running from place to place... I am tired and off-guard.

...Then... It happens.

"...!" Someone gasps from behind me. Close enough that I involuntarily turn around to look. My eyes stopped taking in too much information years ago when I adjusted to my new sight. ...Yet, when I look back, all I can see is something that burns my retinas. An overwhelming sense of familiarity courses into me. All I can tell is that it is a woman. She is too bright to make out by normal sight, but I soon recognize her simply by the color of her soul. She is blue, and the opposing figure to red. Blue for kindness with strength, purity with ambition, majesty with malevolence. She was not so different from the earth itself, and her smell was one of ripe sunflower seeds. Her wide smile was a perfect fake. Yet it was beautiful in the same way that the most beautiful fake flower can be.

"Sherou? Is it truly you?" The bright woman asks. Only one person ever called me Sherou...

"...L-Luvia...!?"

She had grown into a woman since all those years ago. The aristocratic dress she wore was extravagant, and it fit her personality as perfectly as anything Rin would wear. Her blonde hair fit into drills, and her large breasts accentuated that and formed the figure of a stunning woman who was more mature than her age. She was in peak condition, and her posture was not afraid to accentuate her own assets. This was a woman who was more afraid of not putting everything online than of conflict. Seeing someone in person who I know through a letter is very strange, like a rush of raw emotion straight into my brain.

Before I can calm down, she does something I don't quite predict. She slaps me hard, right in my face.

Author's notes:

This chapter simply bridges the gap between the last arc and the new Clock Tower one. I have many crazy ideas that I can do, and I am unsure if I will go through with them. However, I probably will just because they will be fun stories to try and tell. I may as well go all out and make people question my sanity as a writer once more. The Sakura/Shirou/Tohsaka trio has been the main focus for a little too long now, so it is time to bring in all the important players in the grand scheme of the story.

If you want to see what happened in Britain before Shirou arrives and why Luvia is able to find him, you will have to read Broken Moon. If you really can't handle Shiki as a protagonist, then you can skip it as most people do. It's just that I did put a decent amount of character development for both Katarina and Luvia in there as well as Gray, Waver, and Reines, who of course, Shirou will meet.

Reviews are always appreciated. I don't know if anyone is reading my story if I don't get any, after all.

500000 words don't even seem like that much to me anymore. I remember when 1000 words felt like too much work to write just for fanfiction, but with time comes confidence. Something that is good and sometimes that is bad, but I am much happier that I did what I set out to do and started on my road to a million words. we are halfway there, and I think that this story can stretch to that mark. I remember before I started, how I thought of how cool it would be to write such a long story, but it seemed definitely impossible. I can say now that the most important step is the first one, and that after that you don't get intimidated by your own goals or, even worse, envious of someone else's achievements.

Thanks to all who have read all the way to this point. If you have yet to follow or kudo or whatever, then please do so. It may mean nothing to you, but it does make my day a little brighter to know that someone is out there who enjoyed themselves with this.