Now, move over, baby Gimme the keys - Little Red Corvette - Prince, 1982
"Is that seriously what those Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?" Ellie asks as Joel takes a sip from his coffee.
"Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up," Joel says. "But yeah, this is what they sold."
"It smells like burnt shit," Ellie says, looking forward. Joel takes a long, loud, sip from his coffee as I reach for my own. "Really?" Ellie asks as I take a sip of my coffee too.
"You'll understand when you're older."
"Eyes on the map, kiddo," Joel says. I smile at the name. Ellie does too as she holds the map in front of her.
"76 west and then 70 west for like ever." Joel nods and I turn back to the road. "Where did you say your brother was?" Ellie asks as she looks up at Joel.
"Last contact came through a radio tower near Cody," Joel says before he drinks more of his coffee.
"Cody," she says. "Cody, oh man that is way deep up in there."
"Yeah," Joel says.
"And if he's not there?" Ellie asks, moving the maps down.
"Then odds are he'll be in a settlement," Joel says. "Probably close to a city, there ain't too many of 'em in Wyoming."
"No shit," I say as I take one last sip of my coffee. I hand the rest over to Joel.
"You sure?" He asks and I nod.
"If I drink more I'll get shaky."
"What's his name?" Ellie asks, ignoring me.
"Whose name?" Joel asks.
"Your brother."
"Tommy."
"Younger or older?" Ellie asks as she looks up at Joel.
"Younger."
"Why isn't he with you?" Ellie asks.
"A long story," Joel sighs as he looks out the window.
"Is it longer than 25 hours? Cause' that's what we've got," Ellie says and I shake my head.
"Tommy's what we used to call a joiner," Joel says before he takes a long sip of coffee. "Dreams of becomin' a hero. He enlisted in the Army right outta high school."
"You said your dad was in the Army," Ellie says as she turns to me.
"He was."
"Was it for the same reason?" She asks.
"No, he was just poor."
"Why would he join the military then? Why not just get another job?"
"Army had benefits, healthcare, guaranteed income, discounts on things like cars and mortgages, you also got to go to college for free if you stayed in long enough. Those were all things he couldn't afford on his own."
"Did he like the Army?" Ellie asks as she starts fiddling with a fraying thread on my jacket.
"I think he did, but he didn't like the things he had to do."
"What did he have to-"
"Not my stories to tell, kiddo."
"Did Tommy like the Army?" Ellie asks Joel.
"It didn't make him feel much like a hero," he says.
"What happened after?"
"He came back home, worked with me until the outbreak happened twelve years later."
"What'd you guys do after the outbreak happened?"
"He convinced me to join a group makin' their way to Boston."
"Why'd you go?" Ellie asks as she leans closer to him.
"Mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive. It's where we met Tess."
"What happened after that? After you got to Boston?"
"Tommy met Marlene. She convinced him to join the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was eighteen." There's quiet in the cab of the truck until he continues. "Wantin' to save the world. Pipe dream," he shakes his head. "Him, the Fireflies, all of 'em. Delusional."
"Is he still a Firefly?" Ellie asks.
"Last I heard, he quit them, too. He's on his own out there now and I've gotta go get him."
"If you don't think there's hope for this world, why do you bother going on?" Ellie asks, her voice quiet. "You've gotta try, right?"
"You haven't seen the world, so you don't know. You keep goin' for family."
"I'm not family," Ellie says as she pulls herself away from him.
"No," Joel says, agreeing with her. I feel her hand grab at the fabric of my jeans and I'm tempted to reach over and hit him. "You're cargo now. But you may be family one day."
"Yeah?" Ellie asks. I can tell she's trying to hide the glimmer of hope in her voice. Joel moves his arm and pulls her back into his side.
"Well, you're gonna need somewhere to go once you're done with the Fireflies," Joel says before he takes another sip of coffee. "Marlene ain't exactly the maternal type like Char."
"I'm not the maternal type," I say as I look over at him. He and Ellie look back at me with the same look on their faces. Disbelief. "I'm shit at maternal things."
"No you're not," Joel says, his voice gruff.
"I've never had a mom before," Ellie says. "But you're really good at all the things mom's do."
"Ellie," I shake my head. "You deserve so much more than the world has given you."
"It gave me you and Joel," she says. "I think I'm doing alright."
"Kiddo-"
"How many ration cards did you spend getting that conditioner to fix my hair?" She cuts me off. "Too many," she answers before I can even open my mouth. "You made sure to bring me food when I didn't trust the food from the Fireflies, you used my fake name whenever they were around, you gave me the Pokémon cards you've kept with you since you were sixteen. The one thing you have from before all of this-"
"Ellie," Joel says gently. I blink back tears as I move one of my hands from the steering wheel to pat Ellie's hand on my leg.
"I didn't mean to make you cry-"
"It's okay, sweetheart," I say. I'm thankful my voice doesn't crack. "I just feel so lucky that I've gotten to be a small part of your life."
"You're going to be a big part of my life," she says as she leans closer to me. "You already are," she says almost silently. I bend down slightly to kiss the top of her head.
"Alright," I say after I wipe away the few tears that fell. "How about you start your Pokémon training?"
Joel groans as Ellie turns towards him, bouncing in her seat. But when I look over, I can tell he's done for. It's a good thing to know that even the strong Joel Miller isn't immune to Ellie's puppy dog eyes.
"Think I should pull off here for gas?" I ask quietly.
"Yeah, it'd be best to have a full tank before we go near the city," Joel says. His voice is gruff as he rubs at his eyes. "Tank really lasted that long? Should'a had to make a stop by now." I don't say anything and he sighs.
"What was that about our system?" He asks and I peek over at him as I pull off at an exit.
"I know, but you were actually sleeping-"
"Char."
"It was a small town gas station, I drove around and looked through the car windows before I got out of the truck-"
"Char." Joel says again.
"I made sure there wasn't any infected or people-"
"Char," he says, even his voice sounds tired. I finally look over at him. "Thank you."
I let out a relieved breath and turn back to the road as I look for the gas station.
"Doesn't mean you're not in the dog house," he says.
"Joel," I whine.
"Woah, not with a kid in the car," Ellie says. Joel snorts and I reach over and hit his arm. Ellie giggles at the offended look on Joel's face.
"I didn't even do anything!" I do the only mature thing and I stick my tongue out at him. He rolls his eyes as he points to a gas station. When I pull in, Joel holds his hand out for the key. I turn the truck off before dropping the key in his hand.
"Where are we?"
"We're about twenty minutes out from Kansas City."
"I've never been to Kansas before," Ellie says.
"We're in Missouri, kiddo."
"Missouri?" She asks, her eyebrows furrowing much like Joel's when he's thinking. I bite my lip to keep that information to myself. "Why do they have a city called Kansas in Missouri?"
"Maybe cause' it's close to Kansas? I don't know, kiddo." She huffs as she slides towards Joel's now open door.
"I need to pee."
"Alright, yell if you need me," I say as I open my door.
"I will!" She says as she walks towards the gas station, her backpack slung over her shoulder. I pull the maps off the dashboard and start to look over them. I hear a noise and look up to see Joel is testing another car.
I hop out of the truck and stretch my legs a bit before I walk over to Joel. He's got the siphon set up again and I can already hear the gas filling the container.
"Where'd she run off to?" Joel asks as I lean against the car beside him.
"Bathroom," I say as I look out at the open field across from us. A few cars surround the gas station, but other than that, there's nothing as far as I can see. "Joel?" I ask after a couple minutes of silence.
"Hm?"
"I don't know if it's the coffee or just me, but I can literally feel my skin tingling. Something feels off. I haven't seen signs of life for ages." He looks at me and I sigh. "You know what I mean. No bodies, no infected. Barely any cars."
"I know," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. "All the cities have been rough, but somethin' feels off."
"I was looking at the maps, we could go around-"
"And we'd have to find somewhere to camp overnight," he says. "I looked at them last night."
"Joel, we can camp again-"
"No we can't!" I look at him and sigh. I reach a hand out and he tries to shrug it off, but I hold onto his jacket tighter.
"I don't know who you've lost," I whisper. "But she loves you just as much as you're starting to love her-"
"Char," he practically growls.
"Joel, even you said that she could be family-"
"It was a mistake."
"It wasn't and you know that, too," I finally snap. He looks over at me, a careful mask in place. I can't read any of his emotions as I step closer to him. "Don't do this to her. Don't do this to yourself." He looks away from me.
"It'd be even more dangerous to camp out around here. I talked to Abe, he said there's rough people out west, cannibals, slavers, the sooner we get to Tommy, the better off we are."
"I know. But there's going to be hunters-"
"Last I heard there's still a QZ in Kansas City, we should be okay."
"I just-"
"I know," he says. His voice is gentle, a tone he has never used with me before. "We'll make it through this."
"Yeah," I say. His arm moves and I let go of it. I hadn't even realized I was holding onto him still. His arm rests on the car behind my shoulders. Not touching me. But I can feel his warmth.
And that's enough.
"Joel, it's blocked," I say as we come up to an overpass.
"I know," he sighs. "Gonna see what's behind it," he says as he opens his door. "Stay here," he looks at Ellie before he shuts the door and opens the back driver's side door.
"But-"
"No," Joel and I say at the same time. We look at each other for a brief moment as he grabs his rifle. My hand rests on my gun on my right hip as he walks towards the semi truck that blocks the street.
"What could be out there?" Ellie asks. "We haven't seen anyone." She pouts at Joel's back. He bends down to look under the truck and I pat Ellie's shoulder with my free hand.
"It could be anything, we're close to the city."
"What's in the city? Kansas City has a QZ."
"There's a lot of things that could be in the city, sweetheart. We're just trying to be careful."
Joel starts walking back towards us with an unreadable expression on his face.
"So I'm guessing no horde of infected on the other side?" Ellie asks as soon as he opens his door.
"No idiots either," Joel says as he hands me his rifle. "No, Ellie."
"But-"
"No," I say as I hold it on the other side of me. "What are we doing?"
"Think we'll go up that on ramp, get to the next exit and be back on the road in five minutes," Joel settles in his seat before he shuts the door and puts his hand over the backs of our seats. He turns his head around and starts backing up before he stops and turns the truck around.
I focus on controlling my breathing, controlling my facial expressions. Ellie and Joel talk about Pokémon as we get closer and closer to the city.
"Where are we goin' Ellie?" Joel asks as we actually start driving inside of the city.
"I don't know, I'm all turned around."
"Look at the-"
"It's my second day in a fucking car, man!" Ellie cuts him off as she turns the map in her hand. I look over and try to figure out where we are. I have no clue. Most of the street signs are gone.
"Stop!" Ellie yells and I look over at her. But I see something outside of the window that makes me freeze. The gates of the QZ are opened wide. We haven't seen any infected. That means people. That means hunters. Or worse. "What happened to the QZ?" Ellie asks. "Where the fuck is FEDRA?"
"No clue, but we're gettin' out of here," Joel says. He starts moving forwards when a guy holding his stomach walks out into the street.
"Hey!" He yells. "Help me!"
"Put on your seatbelt, Ellie," I say as I put on my own. Joel throws his on as Ellie looks forward with wide eyes.
"Aren't we going to help him?" She asks, her voice small. I reach over and fasten her seatbelt as Joel puts both of his hands on the steering wheel.
"He ain't even hurt," Joel says. The tires screech as he moves forward. The guy barely makes it out of the way.
"Joel!" Ellie yells as a cinder block falls from the sky. I hear it hit the windshield and my arm moves on its own to push Ellie's head back against the seat. The tires screech as Joel swerves.
But then I hear it.
The sound of the tires getting blown out from spikes. Joel tries to keep control of the truck, but it moves wildly. Someone steps out into the street in front of us and points their gun at the truck.
They shoot, but miss.
Joel turns the truck to get away from them, but he loses control and we go flying through a window. I feel myself fall forward before I'm thrown back against the seat. I breathe for a second, two.
"Are you okay?" Joel asks. I open my eyes and see him leaning down over Ellie.
"Yeah," she says.
"You ain't hurt, nothin'?"
"I don't think so," Ellie shakes her head.
"Are you okay?" Joel looks up to ask me and I nod even though my entire body shakes. There's another gunshot and we all duck, Joel and I both reach out to cover Ellie's head. I hear glass breaking and then the sounds of seatbelts clicking. I unbuckle myself quickly, like I'm on autopilot as Joel pushes for us to get out.
I grab his rifle before I get on the ground and move further along the truck.
"Let's see you motherfucker!" Someone yells and I take a deep breath as Ellie shuffles along to sit beside me. I hand the rifle to Joel as he looks around the laundromat we've ended up in.
"Give us your shit and you make it through this!" The same voice 's not the first time I've heard that one. "I promise!" The guy continues. I scoff.
"Char," Joel says. His voice is clipped and I turn to look at him.
"I'm okay."
"If you're lyin' you ain't leavin' my sight once we get out of this," he hisses. "Ellie, you see that hole?" His voice is softer with her. And if we were in any different situation I'd probably melt.
Ellie nods.
"Can you squeeze through it?"
There's more gunshots.
Ellie nods again.
"Good. When I say go, crawl to that wall and you squeeze through and you don't come out until I say, okay?" Ellie hides her face in Joel's shoulder when there's another gunshot.
"And they're not gonna hit you," he says, but Ellie's in shock. "Look at me!"
Ellie does, her breathing harsh.
"You stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet."
"Char-" Ellie whispers.
"Listen to him Ellie. You're going to be okay," I cut her off. She nods, her movements jerky. Like she's forcing herself to move.
"Okay," she says.
"Okay," Joel repeats as he carefully walks around Ellie, keeping close to the ground. He walks in front of me and I put my hand on his back. "Go!" He whispers to Ellie as he pops up and shoots.
He kneels back down and reloads the rifle as I move towards the other end of the truck. I pull my gun out of my holster on my right hip and stand up quickly. I look around, seeing two men with guns and aim for one of them.
I manage to hit him in the arm he holds his gun with before I crouch back down. I look back and see Ellie finally squeeze through the hole and let out a sigh of relief.
Joel stands up again and shoots. I hear someone yell, "fuck!" As Joel crouches back down.
"You motherfucker!" Another voice yells and I grunt as I start to walk over to Joel. I put a hand on his back and he turns to look at me for a second. I point over to one of the washing machines across the room and he shakes his head.
"Joel you know-"
"I know," he says, his voice sounding panicked.
"Let me help you-"
"You can't help me if you're dead!"
"We both need to move, let me go first," I whisper and he shakes his head again. He goes back up to shoot and I take the chance. I run over to one of the washing machines and catch my breath for a second before I look back up. The guy I shot earlier is aiming straight at me.
We shoot at the same time. I duck as I hear his body hit the ground. But then I feel something hit me over my head.
I think I hear Joel's panicked yell of my name. But that doesn't make sense. Joel cares about Ellie, wants her safe. I know I've been helping, but it wouldn't be that much of a loss if they lose me here.
Joel can get her out of this. He knows it, I know it.
So why is he worried about me?
I blink slowly, the entire world is blurry. I hear my name again but my eyes are heavier. I see a shadow of another person on the floor. I go to raise my gun, but I can't move my arm. I can't move anything.
I try to say his name, try to say anything, but nothing comes out as the world turns black.