MP: You know, I've been thinking about this for a while, and I've finally figured out the voice cast you should read in your head. For Eris, I imagine E.G. Daily (the voice of Buttercup in the original Powerpuff Girls). Her scratchy, punk rocker-style voice fits Eris to a T. Prometheus is Michael Dorn (Worf from the Star Trek franchise, as well as I.M. Weasel-remember I Am Weasel?), which feels both commanding and knowledgeable. I'm still struggling to figure out which voice Hestia would be, but I'll know it when I find it. Anyway, Green Phantom Queen has been away for a while, working on improving herself outside of writing. We wish her the best.
PA2: We certainly do. That being said, let's just get right into it, shall we? Enjoy Chapter 4!
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Jackie Chan Adventures: Olympian Journey
Chapter 4: Agents of Athena's Shield
"Ugh, I hate teleporting!" Jade groaned, leaning over and fighting to calm her stomach. When the flicker of flames had vanished, the Chans and their allies had been left right next to a tacky souvenir stand full of plush gods and toy swords, the base of the mountain visible behind them. As she straightened up, she looked at Prometheus and said, "So let's just get this out of the way. Is there something we're missing here? There's no way she'd bet her assistance on a race."
"I agree," Captain Black added as he tapped away at his phone. "She seems much too methodical to leave it to chance."
"You're probably right," Prometheus muttered, "but we need to go along with it anyway. Even if there's something more, the race is still part of the test, and we need to pass. She is literally one of the most powerful beings alive, and we need her on our side! So, regardless of what happens, I want you all on your best behavior!"
"Good luck," Jackie sighed. "Getting Jade to behave is a miracle beyond even the Olympians," he continued, before Jade kicked him in the shin. Jackie winced in pain before his eyes flew to Uncle, who had turned a sickly green.
"What's wrong, Unc?" Jade asked. "Got the willies again?"
Uncle shook his head. He opened his mouth, only to dry heave slightly. Trying again, he managed to choke out, "Teleportation magic very bad for Uncle's digestion!"
Prometheus reached into his jacket and pulled out a jar of olives packed in their own oil. "Here," he said, handing it to Uncle. "Good for digestion and everything else."
"Where are Eris and the relic hunters?" Tohru asked quickly, pointedly looking away from his sensei's greedy gulps.
"Other side of the mountain, most likely," Prometheus replied as Uncle pocketed the jar. "But not for long. Black, get that chopper down here, and fast!"
"Already taken care of," Captain Black said, pointing upward at a slowly descending whirlybird. "Texted our location as soon as we got here. We should be ready in two minutes or less."
Indeed, the whirlybird landed right at the two minute mark, fully equipped and ready to fly. "So…" Captain Black said as they boarded. "Was it just me, or was Hestia sort of…"
"Black's got a cru-ush!" Jade laughed in a sing-song voice. Captain Black blushed.
"Don't even go there," Prometheus warned. "I don't need my powers of foresight to know that there's only heartache ahead."
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"I find these caricatures absolutely offensive," Eris snarled, staring at a souvenir stand identical to the one near the Chans. She picked up a stuffed Poseidon and tossed it aside. "Zhixin, get rid of this eyesore while I prepare our transport."
"With pleasure, Lady Eris," the old monk wheezed. He raised his hands, freshly marked with mystical runes-this time in permanent marker-and blasted the stand to smithereens, sending the few bystanders left after their sudden appearance running for their lives, albeit while recording the scene on their phones.
Meanwhile, Eris reached into the wooden trunk that levitated behind her and pulled out a small model of a chariot, crafted from bronze and ivory.
"What have you there?" Kasahara asked, staring.
"Our ride." With a grin, Eris bit her finger, smeared a few drops of golden ichor on the model, and then set it on the ground. As the relic hunters watched, the model glowed before beginning to expand rapidly. In a few moments, it had grown into a life-sized chariot, big enough for all four of them if they stood close. She proudly walked to the front of it, resting her hands on the horse harnesses. "This is my old chariot, designed by Athena, crafted by Hephaestus, and tricked out by yours truly. This is more than fast enough to keep up with one of your modern flying machines, and with the thrill of the open air."
"And...what exactly pulls it?" Vanessa asked. "I know you're the expert, but I'm pretty sure self-driving chariots weren't in the myths."
"Eh, they were in the works. But you're right. If we're going to get anywhere, I'm going to need my steeds," Eris said. Still smiling, she put two fingers to her mouth and let out a shrill, whinnying sound that left her henchmen covering their ears. Somehow it combined the sounds of thunder, a steam engine, and a laughing baby, and the sound was soon repeated. At first, it appeared to be merely an echo, until four blurry shapes began to shoot down from above. They were very large, and four-legged, with long faces like horses, but horses didn't have such long legs, or manes made of crackling electricity. Their bodies looked like they were made out of clouds, shifting and bending in response to the wind, and their hoofs left noticeable waterprints on the ground.
"Oh, my babies!" Eris said in a simpering voice as they drew closer, nuzzling her and causing her hair, already a rat's nest, to stand on end. She didn't seem to mind-in fact, she appeared to enjoy it, and ran her hands down their faces, gently stroking them. "Oh, that's right. Mommy's missed you, too. Yes, it's good to be back. I knew those wretched mortals wouldn't have thought to do away with you!"
Vanessa coughed lightly. "Pardon the interruption, boss, but if we could be introduced, maybe…?" she asked, wincing as she ran a hand through her pontytail. She and the others had backed away once the creatures arrived, but Vanessa's hair was straining against the ambient static, puffing up and threatening to burst.
"Oh, of course! Vanessa, Zhixin, Kasahara, these are Flurry, Squall, Sirocco, and Gale. If you haven't figured it out, they're anemoi thuellai, or storm spirits. I bought them from Notus, the South Wind. He was always a blast-often literally. There was one time when-" she started before Vanessa snapped her fingers.
"Boss, how about we save the story for when we're in the air? We've got a lot of ground, er...sky to cover to get to where we're going, and we're losing time," she said.
"Can't a girl have a reunion?" Eris complained. She let out a sigh. "Oh, fine. But before we can take off, you have to earn their respect. You all have those mint leaves I gave you?"
The trio nodded, each pulling a few leaves out of their respective trunks. With some hesitation, the three enforcers approached the storm spirits, Zhixin and Kasahara each holding their hand flat. Vanessa, on the other hand, had both hands out, some leaves resting in each. The cloud horses approached, slowly at first, but then lowered their mouths and gobbled up the leaves. Afterwards, the remains were still visible, swirling inside of their torsos.
"Very nice," Eris commended. She lined up the storm spirits in front of the chariot and quickly strapped them in, then climbed onto the back. "Okay, everybody on, and hold on tight!"
Without hesitation, Eris' enforcers followed suit, yanking their trunks up along with them. Then, with a quick "Hyah!", the storm spirits leapt off of the ground and began racing through the air, taking the chariot, three frightened relic hunters, and a laughing Eris with them.
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"So Jackie," Jade began, shouting to be heard of the noise. The group was now less-than-comfortably strapped into their seats aboard the Section 13 helicopter. "What exactly do you think Eris meant when she called Athena 'Daddy's little-kiss up'?"
"That was because Athena is the daughter of Zeus," Jackie explained, "and the stories always said she was his favorite child."
"There's a reason for it," Prometheus elaborated. "You see, Athena's birth was unique even among the gods. See, before Zeus started pursuing Hera, his eyes were set on someone else; Metis, Titaness of Prophecy."
"Seriously?" Jade asked, an eyebrow raised. "I thought you were the Titan of Prophecy!"
"No, Forethought," Prometheus corrected, his voice turning bitter. "Similar, but more everyday common sense, rather than magical visions of the future. Hers were rarer, and frankly less useful, but they were flashy, so she was always more popular. Anyway, a little while after they'd gotten together, Metis got pregnant and prophesied that it would be a daughter. Unfortunately, the prophecy also said that if she had another of his children, it'd be a son who'd grow up to take Zeus' throne."
"And she told this to his face?!" Tohru snorted.
"Like I said, all Prophecy, no Forethought. Anyway, Zeus didn't like that, and, being Zeus, he did the rational thing-he tricked her into turning into a fly and swallowed her. Now, after a while, Metis ceased to be, just fading away, but the child continued to grow. Took some time, but eventually Zeus started complaining of headaches. Eventually the pain got so bad that he accepted an offer from Hephaestus: to have his skull split open to 'check under the hood', as it were."
"Ouch!" Jade commented. "Is that where the term 'splitting headache' comes from?"
"Ignoring that. Well, when Zeus' head split, Athena, for that's who it was, took the opportunity to burst out. She appeared fully grown and dressed in full battle armor, and, despite the pain she'd caused him, she quickly became Zeus' favorite. It made sense; not only was Athena the Goddess of Wisdom, a master strategist and brilliant advisor, but because she'd appeared fully grown, Zeus had no nasty memories of her formative years-no bratty child or rebellious teenager. Just a calm, respectful adult."
Jade shot a glare at Jackie. "Don't you say a word," she warned.
Prometheus actually laughed at that. "Kid, you got moxie. Well, anyway, what Zeus loved about Athena above all else was her ability to brownnose. Every time Zeus had a dispute, she took his side-and with her debate skills, he always won!"
"Okay, got it, but more importantly, which other gods was she close to?" Captain Black asked. "We're not lucky enough that Zeus's extra powers would be a one-god thing."
Prometheus sighed. "You're right, which is going to make strategizing infinitely more complicated," he muttered. "I can think of several minor deities with whom Athena was at least friendly, but the two that most come to mind are Themis and Mnemosyne."
"Wait, weren't they Titanesses?" Jackie asked. "And wasn't Mnemosyne one of Zeus's...er…?"
"Paramours?" Prometheus finished, smirking. "Yes. And yes, but they never turned against Zeus, so they were alright in his book. Besides, it makes sense. Themis ruled over Justice and Mnemosyne over Memory, which were perfect complements to Wisdom. It was an odd trio, but they seemed to make it work."
"So what kind of powers should we expect?" Tohru asked. "Memory warping or the like?"
Prometheus shook his head. "No, Mnemosyne was more about retaining memories than removing them. I foresee some very unexpected difficulties for you, but even I can't say exactly what."
"Bah!" Uncle scoffed. During the flight, he'd been downing even more olives. "Prometheus did not do proper research! Or proper training! Visions are a very tricky magic, and-"
"It's one I know more about than any human alive, so kindly shut up," Prometheus growled, glaring at Uncle. "I don't know what's been eating at you, but put a lid on it or I predict some very ugly things in your very near future."
"You threaten Uncle?!" Uncle sputtered, jamming another handful of olives into his mouth.
"Actually no, but I wouldn't count it out! Besides, you and Tohru need to pay attention! I'm giving you a crash course in Greek magic before we arrive! You don't need to be the Titan of Forethought to predict that this will get dirty," Prometheus said, before raising his hand and conjuring a small vial of olive oil in a burst of flame.
"Now, lesson one: Athena's greatest invention. She was a suck-up, but she earned that 'Goddess of Wisdom' title. Olives, and therefore their oil, are the single greatest thing ever created, and I'm including my own creation of humanity. There isn't a single spell, situation, or recipe that can't be improved with olive oil," he continued, giving the vial an appreciative sniff.
"Bah!" Uncle snapped. "No greater resource than garlic!"
"Maybe for your paltry little chi spells, but for Greek magic, it all comes down to olives!"
"Garlic good for all magic! Greeks just not sophisticated enough to use it properly!"
"I'm sorry, which one of us is the deity here?! Just face reality, you stubborn old goat!"
"Ah, you just like miserable spider woman! Neither of you can appreciate Uncle's genius!"
"Your 'genius' is never listening to your elders?!" By this point, Uncle and Prometheus were practically leaning into each other's faces, and they showed no signs of stopping.
"It's gonna be a long flight," Jade sighed, fishing out a pair of earbuds from her pockets. Jackie nodded his head as he brought his hand out. Jade grumbled and handed the earbuds to him before pulling out another pair for herself. They hooked them up to their phones and tried to relax to some music.
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"Woohoo!" Eris shouted as the chariot flew through the sky, tracing a complex figure eight as it did. Her arms were spread out as she added, "Now this is what I'm talking about! Nothing like feeling the wind in your face, eh, gang? Not confined to some metal tube!"
"Ask me again when we've landed," Vanessa groaned, holding tightly onto the side of the chariot. Her face had a noticeable greenish tint. "I'm too busy trying not to throw up."
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin wheezed, his face equally green. "The foolish crab tries to hold back the tide, and is washed away."
"Oh, don't you dare!" Vanessa snapped, glaring at the old monk. "If I can make it, so can you!"
"Both of you need to relax," Eris sighed, shaking her head. "Why can't you be more like Kasahara? He's having a good time!"
"He fainted ten minutes in," Vanessa said, looking down at the unconscious thief.
"Exactly!" Eris said. "Still, better wake him up. Target incoming!"
Indeed, the chariot was currently flying over the city of Stockholm, heading towards a building with a brown marquee emblazoned with a sword and reading "Vikingaliv: A True Adventure" in both English and Swedish. Strangely enough, no one seemed to notice the chariot as it began to descend.
"Godly rides are invisible to mortals by default," Eris answered the unasked question, seeing her minions' confusion. "Normally I'm all for making a scene, but in times like this, I'll save the chaos for when we actually land."
"But how do you know the shield is here?" Vanessa asked, staring at the tourist attraction as she shook Kasahara awake.
Eris laughed. "This close, I can smell the power. I don't know exactly which shield, but I know it's in here. Hestia, too." As she spoke, Eris's nostrils flared, and she frowned. "And speaking of 'smell', looks like it's going to be a foot race."
"What?" Vanessa asked as Eris pointed at a shimmering distortion in the air, also descending to the ground. It was a few yards away, but on track to land at the same time they were. As Vanessa examined the area, she noticed a helicopter flying above it "Wait, you mean that's-?"
"Prometheus and his little gang? Yep," Eris snarled. "Still, at least we got here just in time. Get ready to get moving! And remember, fight to kill."
"Well, duh!" Zhixin snapped.
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"Uncle is very uncomfortable!" Uncle said, sweating profusely. He and Prometheus were floating to the ground inside a shimmering bubble of air, the helicopter passing overhead. "Too hot in here!"
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Prometheus replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Next time I'll use the air-conditioned spell-or maybe you could just be a man and parachute with the rest of your family!"
Indeed, the rest of the group were parachuting down alongside them, albeit enclosed in the heat haze. Strangely enough, the parachutes were falling at the same rate as the bubble.
"You want Uncle to have heart attack?" Uncle snarled.
"I want Uncle to stop complaining and show some respect!" Prometheus snapped. "Right now I'm busy hiding us, slowing our descent, and keeping an eye on Eris, and I don't need your sass getting in the way!" He then sighed and continued, "Anyway, I didn't have much time to teach, so that crash course in Greek magic will have to be enough for now. You have the chi-o-matic on you, right?"
Uncle nodded and held up his magic device, as well as his bag of ingredients.
"And the olive oil?"
Uncle rolled his eyes and produced a small bottle of extra virgin oil from the bag.
"Good. And everyone," he warned, raising his voice to address the others, "be prepared to fight for your lives. Remember, Eris won't hold back, so neither should you. Now, get ready to drop!"
At his signal, just ten feet off the ground, the rest of the group released their parachutes and, buffeted by Prometheus's air currents, safely hit the ground and started running, startling onlookers as they seemed to emerge from out of thin air. Prometheus grabbed Uncle and popped the bubble around them, setting the old man down when they hit.
Jackie was at the head of the group, his eyes trained forward as he looked around for any sign of Eris and her minions. However, he suddenly spied something out of the corner of his eye.
"Jade!" he cried out, noticing his niece next to him for the first time. She'd managed to hide in the haze until now. "I told you to stay in the chopper!"
"Oh, is that what you said?" Jade replied with a shrug. "I couldn't hear you over the blades. I was like 'what's a crayon chopper?' Plus, you know, gotta put those parachuting lessons to good use!"
Jackie groaned. "Why do I even bother these days? Look, just stay close so I can protect you!"
"Tch. You still don't think I can handle myself?" Jade asked, rolling her eyes.
"You shouldn't have to!" Jackie replied. "Besides, you never know when-"
"Eyes on the prize, Chan!" came a familiar voice as Jackie suddenly received a whip strike right to the face, sending him to the ground. As the group came to a halt, they saw Vanessa, Eris, and the rest of their group standing nearby, their eyes alight with malice.
"Well, there goes the element of surprise," Captain Black said, stopping next to Jackie and moving to prop him up as Vanessa prepared to send out another lash. "Think you need to carry him?" he asked as he turned toward Tohru.
Before Tohru could answer, Jackie leapt back to his feet and, without a word, ran towards Vanessa. But just as he was about to hit her, the relic hunter teleported behind him and delivered a kick to his back. He was sent stumbling towards Kasahara, who had transformed into his favored samurai form and extended two bladelike arms to pierce the off-balance fighter. Fortunately, Jackie was able to recover, meeting him with a headbutt and then flipping over him, dodging a blast from Zhixin before slamming his foot down on the still-dazed Origami's head.
Eris casually watched all of this as she released her steeds to the sky and shrunk her chariot and the four trunks to miniature size, pocketing them. "You're doing great, dears," she said over her shoulder as she walked to the museum entrance. "Just keep them busy for me!"
Origami transformed into a tiger beneath Jackie and tossed him into the air. Vanessa moved to strike Jackie with her whip, but he slammed his feet against the museum wall, bounced off, and caught her weapon in hand. As Zhixin fired again, Jackie yanked the whip and pulled Vanessa into the path of the attack. Too startled to teleport, she took the blast head on, whereupon Jackie slammed her down onto Origami, sending them both down to the ground. Without wasting a moment, Jackie leaped down and knocked Zhixin flat an open-handed strike to his face.
"Go Uncle Jackie!" Jade chanted as she watched the fight, albeit in her combat stance.
Growling, all three relic hunters pushed themselves to their feet, nodded to each other, and attacked again-Vanessa lashing her whip, Zhixin jumping and firing another blast, and Origami transforming back into samurai form and running forward with his bladed arms.
"Bwah!" Jackie cried as he bent over backwards like a champion limbo player. The attacks passed over him, and he dropped and rolled, popping up beside Zhixin and grabbing him from behind. Overpowering the old monk, he pulled his hostage's arms backwards, almost dislocating them, and pointed the palms upward. "No more palm-blasting for you!" he warned.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin countered. "There is more than one way to skin a calf." With that, he kicked Jackie in the shin. As Jackie winced in pain, Zhixin broke free of his grip, spinning Jackie around and preparing to blast him in the back, only to be stopped by a rabbit punch from Captain Black.
"Looked like you could use some help," Captain Black said with a smile.
"I appreciate it," Jackie replied, grinning back, before he was abruptly pulled backwards by a whip wrapping around his neck..
"The more the merrier!" Vanessa snapped, dragging Jackie across the ground as she, Zhixin, and Kasahara prepared to attack.
"Good to hear!" Tohru cried, bowling into all three of them from behind. As the three lay there, the giant picked up Jackie, struggling to regain his breath, brushed him off, and pointed to the door. "Everybody in! I'll try to slow them down!"
Jackie grabbed Jade and carried her in the door as Uncle and Prometheus followed Tohru. They burst through, startling the docent, and Tohru was forced to stop and pay as the rest of them charged through. Vanessa, Kasahara, and Zhixin soon followed, but Tohru repelled them with a single swing of his colossal belly. Unfortunately, they weren't deterred for long, and were soon rushing forward for another attempt. This time, though, Vanessa simply teleported past him, Origami flattened himself and flitted between the giant's legs, and Zhixin just blasted him out of the way, leaving Tohru semi-conscious and groaning against the nearest wall.
The museum entrance hall was a beautiful room, with standing cases and wall displays showing off all sorts of nordic artifacts, from weapons to shields to plates and bowls, all of it over brightly polished hardwood floors. The Chans had little time to appreciate it, though, as they sprinted out of the first room and into the next, where the Viking longboat awaited, along with displays of Viking armor. Eris was already there, examining, based on the discarded ones next to her, her third shield. She groaned as she cast her mismatched eyes on the new arrivals.
"Ugh," she complained. "Those three couldn't buy me another five minutes?"
"Yeah," Jade told her. "In our experience, as soon as they become henchmen, they start to suck at everything."
Right on cue, the trio of thieves came charging into the new room. As the Chans turned to respond, Vanessa quickly teleported right in front of Jackie, sucker-punching him in the gut. As he doubled over, Captain Black moved to strike, only to have Origami's blades crossed right in front of his neck. A blast from Zhixin knocked Uncle's blowfish out of his hands, whereupon the old monk was quickly able to restrain him. And as for Jade, Vanessa just picked her up by the hoodie and held her at arm's length, standing on Jackie's back for good measure.
"...Then again, first time for everything," Jade muttered as she thrashed against Vanessa's grip.
"Our apologies for the momentary delay, Lady Eris," Kasahara apologized as his head emerged from his armor. "But as you can see, we have the matter well in hand."
Kasahara immediately regretted that small transformation, though, as Prometheus hit him over the head with one of Eris' rejected shields. It didn't do much damage, but it dazed him enough that Captain Black was able to slip away from his blades. However, no sooner had he escaped than Origami blocked his path, leaving him only slightly better off.
"How many times do I have to tell them? Don't gloat until everyone's taken down," Vanessa muttered, glaring at Kasahara.
"I do hope that will be the limit on your interference," came a voice beside them. "After all, Eris's forces seem to be handling themselves quite well without her."
Out of nowhere, Hestia was standing beside Prometheus. She was casting a bored, even disapproving look toward the entire group. Captain Black blushed as her gaze passed over him, ducking his head and trying to look away. Prometheus looked only slightly less ashamed, but kept his gaze high. "You make a decent point," he sighed. "And I believe that these mortals could take down Eris' little goon squad any day of the week. On the other hand…"
With that, Prometheus pounced at Eris, delivering a flying kick to her side and knocking her newest shield out of her hands. "...I'm sure you're fair game!" he finished as the goddess staggered back from the blow.
As Vanessa stared at this new turn of events, Jackie recovered and, his hands pressed to the ground, bucked. The sudden motion knocked Vanessa off-balance as she stumbled off of Jackie's back, forcing her to let Jade go. No sooner had she landed did she rejoin the fight, jumping to Zhixin and kicking him in the back. As the monk's grip involuntarily loosened, Uncle took the opportunity to break free and snatch his blowfish. Without even a chant, he blasted Origami away from Captain Black and towards the entrance, leaving him to crash into the now recovered Tohru standing in the doorway. With a smile, Tohru crumpled a screaming Origami into a ball and kicked him into the other room before charging at Vanessa.
"Not this time, plus-size!" Vanessa snarled. She teleported away before Tohru could strike, appearing behind him and lashing him across the back with her whip. With a laugh, she drove one of her high-heeled boots into his back, sending him careening into the Viking longboat, knocking it off-balance and sending the shields tumbling down.
"BIG T!" Jade yelled. With a roar, she pounced and socked Vanessa in the kidney, sending her doubling over in pain. As Vanessa was about to counterattack, though, Jackie snatched up his niece and lightly tossed her over to a doorway on the other side of the room. In the confusion, no one noticed Uncle scurrying over to the shields, chi-o-matic out.
"What the heck?!" Jade objected. "I was gonna lay the smackdown on her! She deserved it!"
"Too dangerous!" Jackie yelled over his shoulder as he rejoined the fray. "It's a museum! Go learn something!"
Jade groaned in annoyance. Eris laughed at the chaos and took a battle stance, smirking and performing a somersault to catch Prometheus' neck in a scissorhold. Prometheus choked for air as the goddess of discord cackled, but Jackie came to the titan's rescue, chopping her in the neck and giving her a taste of her own asphyxiation. Eris snarled and landed on her hands, stepping forward on them and striking Jackie in the shoulders before flipping back over and landing with catlike grace - assuming the cat had first fallen out of a tree.
"You've studied martial arts?" Jackie gasped.
"Had to do something to pass the time in that urn!" Eris replied, jabbing Jackie in the stomach with her fist. Jackie wheezed, but spun and threw Eris against the Viking ship's side, where Prometheus punched her in the nose. In retaliation, Zhixin blasted Prometheus out of the way and retrieved Eris, setting her aside before aiming at Jackie. Without missing a beat, Jackie kicked one of the dropped shields into his hands and blocked Zhixin's attack, only for Kasahara to return, leaping down from the ceiling in samurai form and slashing the shield in half.
"Feeble defenses will not last you long, Chan-Jackie-Chan!" the fold-up man snarled.
Meanwhile, Tohru and Captain Black had their hands full with Vanessa. Every time they moved to strike, she teleported out of the way, and she wasn't shy with her bullwhip. "Boss, focus on finding the shield!" she snarled at Eris as she continued to humiliate her opponents. "We can handle the chaff!"
As Vanessa stood to gloat, though, a double-edged axe, clearly a museum piece, flew at her. She just managed to teleport to the side, only for Tohru to swat her into the side of the ship. As she slammed into the museum piece, she involuntarily dropped her whip.
"All this fighting over a shield really takes you back, doesn't it, Jackie?" Jade said with a grin as she rushed over to grab Vanessa's weapon.
"Jade!" Jackie snapped, dodging another of Zhixin's blasts. "I told you to-"
"Did you know that Viking children could join their armies at the age of ten?" Jade asked him. "I just learned that."
Jackie had no time to eat his own words as he dodged another blast. Meanwhile Jade uncoiled the whip, the cracker at the end making a loud SNAP as she tried to use Vanessa's own weapon against its wielder.
"Just because you have my weapon doesn't mean you know how to use it!" Vanessa sneered.
Jade smirked again and cracked the whip once more, wrapping it around its former owner. "I'm a fast learner," she bragged.
Now visibly angry, Vanessa teleported out of her weapon and behind Jade, seizing the whip and kicking the girl aside. Jade flew into Tohru's arms and climbed onto his shoulder as he charged Vanessa, who dodged without bothering to teleport and whipped him in the back. Tohru went flying into a wall, knocking down a display on battle gear. With a smile, Jade slipped on a helmet and grabbed two swords and prepared to leap, but stopped when she heard Jackie gasp in pain.
Turning, she saw that Origami had morphed into the form of a monkey, and was using his new agility to outmatch even Jackie, leaping and flattening himself to avoid every one of Jackie's blows before retaliating with his own. As Jackie stumbled back, Origami flew through the air to land on his back, holding bladed arms to his neck.
"At last we reach the end, Chan-Jackie-Chan!" he snarled as he prepared to cleave Jackie's head from his shoulders.
"Don't count on it!" came Jade's voice as the girl flew through the air, slicing off Origami's arms with deft strokes of her swords. Origami collapsed to the ground and began crawling away, shock impeding the regeneration of his arms. Zhixin moved to cover him, only for Captain Black to tackle the old monk just as he planned to fire another energy beam, causing the attack to strike Vanessa instead and leave her sprawled on the floor. At the same time, Jackie knocked Origami out with a blow to the head just as he was about to rejoin the fray. With a smile, Tohru finished the job on Zhixin, wrapping him in a bear hug and squeezing until he felt the monk sag into unconsciousness. A swift movement later, Zhixin tumbled to the floor to join the others.
During all of this, Prometheus did his best to hold his own against Eris, but her unpredictable style of random, vicious movements was very difficult to counter. Every time he thought she'd attack, she retreated, and vice versa. And then, when he was least expecting it, she delivered a devastating kick to the scar on his abdomen, putting him down for the count. She turned and went through a series of faces upon seeing her minions subdued, as well as Hestia's ever-watchful eye, but settled on a smile when she heard the noise that filled the room.
"Hot cha!" Uncle declared. He held his chi-o-matic, alive and whirring, over a blue and silver striped shield, bending down to pick it up. Not only was the shield glowing, but it also had the image of an owl embossed on the inside, symbols that surely weren't there before today.
"It's mine!" Eris snarled, diving between Jackie and Captain Black to grab the shield for herself. She and Uncle got into a fierce tug-of-war over the shield. Uncle even threw down his chi-o-matic to better grip the shield, but it was clear who was winning. Jackie, Tohru, Jade, and Captain Black moved to help, but Eris held a hand to Uncle's face with a snarl. "One false move and I blow the old man's head off!"
The group didn't dare move at this, save for Prometheus, who struggled to his feet. Even he didn't dare move forward, though. Uncle, however, let one of his hands drop to his side, whipping out his blowfish. As his grip lightened, Eris began to tug harder, and Uncle struggled to maintain his hold.
"You old fool!" Prometheus snapped. "Chi magic won't work on a goddess!"
Uncle smirked and pointed the blowfish upward before the blast. Just as Eris seized the shield for herself, a mass of plaster and wood fell directly on top of her, knocking her down and sending the shield rolling back to Uncle.
"Hmph!" Uncle said with a proud smirk as he retrieved the artifact. "Never question Uncle!"
Prometheus sighed. "Okay, I can admit when I'm wrong."
"Since when?" Hestia snapped.
"Let's just get this shield to Section 13 before they wake up," Prometheus continued, rolling his eyes. "I still haven't figured out the spell to extract the power from its chosen object."
"Hah! That's because you've been drinking too much olive oil! Uncle could figure it out like that!" the old man said, snapping his fingers.
"Alright, sure," Prometheus snarled, visibly fighting to keep his temper. "But we should do it back at-"
"One more thing! Uncle is not leaving until he gets an apology!" Uncle snapped, a faint spark appearing in the old man's bifocals. "You have been looking down on Uncle ever since he met you, and he's tired of it! Uncle is no fool! He is the greatest chi wizard there is!"
"You might want to watch what you say when - oh no," Prometheus muttered as he stared at Uncle. The shield was starting to glow. "Uncle, you need to-"
"Uncle knows everything there is to know! He is the most learned, the most practiced, the most experienced! He is the one who has protected the world from forces of darkness since the return of Shendu, and he has not come all this way to be replaced by some two-bit con-artist!" Uncle continued, ignoring the steady glow of the shield. "You will respect Uncle!"
"DROP THE SHIELD, OLD MAN!" Prometheus roared, charging at Uncle. At the same time, Eris burst from the pile of rubble and launched herself at the wizened shop owner, seizing the shield. When she landed, though, she looked it over and scowled.
"No!" she screamed. "Come on, the one time I don't need this!"
Meanwhile, in Uncle's mind, a calm female voice began to speak. "Ah, I see we are of one mind," it murmured. "Our knowledge is superior, and thus we are superior. Are you ready to prove it?"
"No need to ask Uncle twice!" the old man chortled as the shield emitted a blinding flash of light and a burst of wind, blowing Eris and Prometheus away. As they staggered to their feet, they watched as Uncle became encased in owl feathers, swirling around him and blocking him from sight.
"Well, isn't this a fine mess we're about to be in," Hestia said as she stared at the rapidly diminishing pile of feathers. "You realize how badly you've all failed, right?" she asked. Prometheus and Eris both hung their heads in shame, prompting the goddess to smile. "Good. In that case, let's-"
"Save the lessons for later, lady!" Jade snapped, glaring at Hestia. "We've gotta help Uncle!"
"I don't appreciate your tone," Hestia said snidely. "Besides, you're the ones who-"
"Hestia, come on!" Prometheus snapped. "Yes, I get it, we screwed up! But stop lording over us and help us fix this before it gets worse!"
"Not a chance!" Hestia roared back. "You knew the deal! I'm here to observe and help the one I deem worthy! And I'm not convinced of anything yet!"
"Fine, fine," Prometheus sighed, conjuring a ball of fire in his outstretched hand. "Chans, I'll give you a bit of a head start. Besides, Athena always could've used a little more discipline."
However, as he moved to throw the fireball, it was abruptly snuffed out, leaving only a faint flicker in the air.
"Oh, no," he said, staring at his open hand. "He's taking to it faster than I thought!"
"Hah! You try to stop Uncle with puny spells?" came Uncle's voice, the owl feathers now just a thin layer covering his skin. "Naive." At that word, the feathers fell to the ground and vanished, revealing Uncle in all his glory.
"Uncster, reel it in!" Jade cried. "You gotta resist it!"
Uncle just smirked at this and stepped forward. He looked nothing like his old, frail self now. He stood tall and steady, his back perfectly straight, and he radiated strength from every pore. His usual outfit had been replaced with dark grey robes, accented by embroidered owls that seemed to pierce the air with their intense gaze. A bronze war helmet topped his head, and he kept his chin high and proud. His eyes, now gray, seemed to glow with a piercing intensity, and a faint shimmer of light hung around his hands.
"Resist? This is the best Uncle's felt in his entire life!" he said gleefully. "The power of a god rushes through these veins! No longer do you deal with just Uncle, you deal with the might of the new Athena himself!"
"Man, that corruption works fast!" Jade commented. "The demon chi had nothing on this!"
"It's the emotional resonance," Prometheus muttered. "They're not being taken over, they're being transformed."
"No one cares about the details, you idiot!" Eris snapped as her minions began to groggily regain consciousness. "Let's just get to the fight!"
"'Fight'?" Uncle asked mockingly. "Uncle thinks you are being a little too hasty. Uncle needs time; strategy is essential to victory, after all."
"And we're going to give that to you, why?" Captain Black asked as he and the rest of the room, even Eris and her minions, got into fighting stances.
"Because you can't stop Uncle," Uncle said calmly, flexing his fingers. "No one can."
Suddenly, his hands began moving through the air at lightning speed, the shimmer around them bending and refracting the light into an array of colors. As he worked, the shimmer began to fade, revealing what was truly wrapped around his fingers…
"Thread?" Jackie asked. Indeed, a strand of thread, seemingly connected to the empty air, stretched from each one of Uncle's knuckles, slowly being pulled into a tapestry.
Prometheus and Eris both blanched. "Of course this is the power he gets," Prometheus muttered before turning to face the group. "Everyone out, now!"
The authority in the Titan's voice prompted them all to start running, albeit with confused looks on their faces. "Okay, seriously? We're freaking out over string now? Seems like a step down from lightning," Jade scoffed, prompting a facepalm from Prometheus.
"Do I really have to spell it out? First off, it doesn't matter what the power is; it's still divine. Second-"
"Weaving's kind of a hot topic when it comes to Athena," Eris interrupted, prompting a groan from her followers.
"Please tell me that pun wasn't intentional," Zhixin sighed from his position atop Origami's shoulders.
"Yes, but it wouldn't have been had I known," Eris replied simply. "Anyway, haven't you ever heard of the story of Arachne?
"Yeah, read up on it on the chopper," Captain Black said. "Mortal seamstress declares she's better than Athena, Athena shows up and challenges her to a weaving contest, Arachne depicts the gods at their worst, Athena turns her into a spider as punishment."
"Pretty basic, but good enough," Prometheus grumbled. "Although, credit where credit was due, Athena did actually win that contest. Girl was a suckup and a know-it-all, but she could weave like nobody else."
"Wow, honesty. How rare to hear it from your own lips," Hestia snarked as Prometheus growled.
"Okay, Auntie, I know this'll sound crazy, but could you lay off him a bit?" Eris asked sullenly. "I love to tear him down too, but it's starting to get pointless." Seeing the confused looks everyone was giving her, she said, "What? I'm not allowed to be the voice of reason? These divine stereotypes are demeaning for all of us."
By now, the assemblage had managed to escape the museum and make it a fair distance away. They stood there, catching their breaths and staring at the museum, waiting for something to happen.
And then, said something happened, as multicolored threads wove their way out of the door and windows, casting an ethereal light everywhere. What was more, a giant image of Uncle's head formed above the museum, grinning malevolently. A closer look revealed that it was made out of yet more thread.
"So, you flee in the face of Uncle's power? Truly a wise move," it said, chuckling.
"Hardly! I'll have you know that this was a-" Prometheus started to say before Uncle interrupted him.
"-'Strategic retreat', yes, Uncle knows," the old man scoffed. "The first Athena invented that excuse. Do you really think you can stand against Uncle's unmatched wisdom?"
"I dunno, but I doubt you can stand against everyone mobbing you when we get back in there," Jade replied snarkily, looking around at the assembled fighters. Indeed, all of them looked ready for action, with the notable exceptions of Prometheus, Hestia, and Eris.
"Then it's a good thing Uncle is not going to stay here," Uncle said. In an instant, the head dissolved into a mess of threads that draped over the museum, completely hiding it from view. Then, as if pulled by invisible hands, the threads lifted up and began twisting through the air, forming into the shape of some sort of tower-like structure. However, the details of the shape were lost on the viewers, who noticed one particular detail; the entire museum being reshaped in accordance to the design.
In less than a minute, the Vikingaliv had been replaced by a dazzling four-tiered pagoda. It looked like it was made entirely of gleaming marble set with gold and bronze, with jeweled eaves reflecting light all around. At the very top was a golden statue of an owl, its eyes glaring down at the world like it wanted to tear it apart. However, the entire thing shifted and moved in the breeze, revealing it to be made almost entirely of cloth.
The entire group, again with the exception of the immortal beings, stared at the structure, mouths agape.
"Ugh, this is so typical of her," Eris muttered. "Fifty drachma says that place is trapped from ceiling to floor."
"Fool's bet," Prometheus replied. "Any chance you'd be willing to call truce until we get up there?"
"Not on your life, old man," Eris said with a glare.
Meanwhile, Jackie and Jade were looking with especially concerned looks. "T, you can fix this, right?" Jade asked, turning to her comrade. "Fix him?"
Tohru nodded. "Yes, I was listening to Prometheus's lecture during the flight. The museum should go back to normal once Uncle is healed, and I know the spell to do so. All I need are the ingredients in my spell kit, and I'll be ready to cast the spell once we're in range-" Tohru suddenly stopped short, wildly looking at everyone around him. "Or I could if I had Sensei's chi-o-matic..."
The entire group went silent, until Jade finally spoke up, doing her best impression of Uncle. "Aiyah! How could you forget to grab chi-o-matic!?"
"Good impression, bad time," Captain Black said, shaking his head.
Eris laughed out loud, and was joined by her trio of enforcers. "Well, Prometheus, it looks like you didn't teach your little mortal friends well enough! I know I have everything I need to take this power for myself!"
"Impossible!" Prometheus snapped. "You can't possibly already have a spell to steal it!"
"You don't know what I've got, old man!" Eris shot back. She turned to Hestia and put on her best smile. "So, you'll help whomever gets the power first, then?"
Hestia didn't answer, instead giving Eris a sideways look.
"See, your face is saying you're annoyed, but your eyes are saying 'Yes', so that's good enough for me!" Eris said jubilantly as she turned to her team. "Ready to go, team?"
"Fortune favors the bold!" Kasahara announced, transforming into his favorite samurai form, but maintaining his human head. "And I love fortune!"
Rather than going through the door, though, he started hacking at one of the cloth walls, eagerly slicing into them, only for one of his cohorts to seize him from behind.
"Wait, shouldn't we take some time to plan this out?!" Zhixin asked nervously as he yanked Origami back. "You said yourself this place is completely booby-trapped. Besides, I'm sure that this new Athena would respect strategic planning and tactics."
"You make a very good point," Eris said, smiling. "However, counterpoint!" And with a snap of her fingers, she and her enforcers disappeared in a plume of rainbow smoke, leaving her now signature apple symbol embossed on the ground.
Hestia didn't say a word, but looked at Prometheus expectantly. Prometheus groaned loudly. "Come on, we can't even-" he started, before stopping as he looked into Hestia's eyes and noticed something...off. They seemed duller than usual; where once they were a brightly burning flame, now they more resembled banked coals.
"Okay, so that's how you're playing it," Prometheus muttered, rolling his eyes. "No point talking to you, then. All right, we can't afford to wait!" he announced to the rest of the group. "I'll bet anything the chi-o-matic is in there somewhere, and I'll bet that the old man doesn't plan on using it for himself!"
"Why not?" Tohru asked. "Sensei is a master chi wizard."
"True, but Athena never cared for magic over innovative technology. Tartarus knows she stuck to mechanical solutions when she could. At worst, he's keeping it away from us. In fact, I can all but guarantee it."
"Uh huh. And I'm guessing the giant cloth pagoda is an example of 'innovative technology'?" Captain Black asked, prompting surprised looks from the others. "What? Someone's got to fill the void."
"I mean, Athena prefers big magic for big tasks, but would rather figure out better ways for the small things. The chi-o-matic is useless to her. Now, enough chit-chat! If Eris gets ahold of that power, we might as well give up then and there!"
Jackie nodded and took the lead, charging through the pagoda and throwing open the door. However, his entrance was halted when he stepped inside and immediately tripped as the carpet snaked out from under him.
"A little more caution, perhaps?" Prometheus remarked dryly. A bit red in the face, Jackie got back to his feet and led the way, the others jumping the carpet to enter. The room within was a billowing grey surface, seemingly made of a single massive tapestry, decorated with images from all over Scandinavia. In each of them, warriors wrapped up like mummies were wielding swords and invading cities. At the back of the room was a single staircase, leading up into the pagoda.
Captain Black let out a whistle. "The old man has some big plans," she commented.
Prometheus nodded. "If he isn't stopped, he'll go on to conquer Scandinavia, then Europe, and then the world."
"Then let's stop gabbing and bring down this house of weaves!" Jade cried, dashing ahead of the group. Then she stopped short. "Wait, how do I know that reference? Curse you, middle-school English!"
Tohru snatched up Jade and put her on his shoulder, and the whole group stepped lightly. The floor of the place wasn't very solid; it was more like a tightly-woven net, supporting their weight but bending slightly beneath them. They didn't make it far, though, before they saw they had company.
The footsteps were impossible to hear, but easy to feel with that bizarre floor. A platoon of soldiers just like those in the tapestries, human shapes wrapped tight in brightly colored linens and wielding the museum's swords and axes, were marching toward them from all directions.
"Now we got mummies?" Jade complained. "Uncster, pick a civilization and stick to it!"
"More importantly, how'd they get the drop on us?" Captain Black asked as he settled into a combat stance. "This room has two exits!"
"Um, I think I know how," Jackie said shakily, pointing to the floor. As the others followed his finger, they saw how the soldiers were entering; the entire army was literally walking off the tapestries and into the room proper, two-dimensional images transitioning to three-dimensional beings with a disturbing smoothness.
"...Okay then," Prometheus muttered. "You know what I said about Athena not using magic? Throw that out the window. In fact, now he may be planning to collect the other gods' powers for himself when they show."
"It makes sense," Tohru said. "Sensei is a wizard to his core; even bonding with Athena wouldn't change that. I think it's safe to say that this is entire place is magically trapped."
"Yes, wonderful, you're all very smart, now can we skip the exposition and start fighting already?" Jade asked, leaping from Tohru's shoulders and launching a roundhouse kick at the "face" of the nearest soldier. However, her blow was light, and the soldier didn't even flinch. Jackie caught her before she hit the floor and tossed her back to Tohru.
"Head for the stairs!" Jackie ordered the group. "I'll cover you!" The others nodded and obeyed, backing up into the corner as the cloth mummies advanced. Jackie stood his ground and punched the first few back, then leapt up and shot out a split kick, knocking them all away as he spun 360 degrees.
Seizing his opportunity, he grabbed a set of daggers from a fallen soldier and slashed around him, but quickly stopped his fighting when he saw what was beneath all the linen. The blank-eyed face of a middle-aged man stared back at him through the gashes in the cloth. Jackie, stunned, ceased his fighting until the tourist kicked him in the chest and sent him flying.
Staggering backwards, Jackie took another look at the man before staring at the daggers in his hands. Sighing, he tossed them to the ground and with a deft movement, rushed forward and leapt upon the shoulders of the nearest soldier. From there, it was just a quick series of jumps across the army's head before he caught up to the others, landing right behind them on the staircase just as they cleared the ceiling.
The cloth staircase bent under their weight, particularly Tohru's, but retained just enough of its shape for them to advance. They were walking through a dark and enclosed space, lined with wooden beams like the structure of a loom. Spiderwebs were embroidered on every surface, complete with spiders that seemed almost to move. Given the previous room, everyone was on their guard.
"What happened?" Captain Black asked. "You had them handled and then you just retreated!"
"They're tourists from the museum!" Jackie objected. As they were walking, the staircase was starting to even out into a corridor.
"Yes, I expect they'd were. Good on you for retreating; mortal casualties should be avoided at all costs," Prometheus said as he turned back to the staircase and burned part of it with a fireball, sending it falling to the previous floor. "As the Titan of Forethought, though, I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you that you should've at least kept your weapons."
"Ugh, less talking, more walking," Jade groaned as they made their way down the corridor. The only light came from the iridescent spiderwebs and the dim glow from Hestia's eyes. The ambiance wasn't helped by Tohru's teeth loudly clattering as he looked at the spiders on the walls. To ease the tension, Prometheus held a small flame in his hands, but that somehow making the whole place even eerier. Nobody noticed as the staircase began to stitch itself back into place. "This place is starting to skeeve me out."
Prometheus chuckled. "Better steel yourself. I'm sure we'll be dealing with a lot more creepy crawlies going forward. Athena invented them, after all."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"I swear, if I so much as hear another spider, I'm going to blow a gasket," Vanessa snarled. She, Eris, and the rest of the group were currently walking through a similar corridor, albeit this one patterned with spears. The four of them were slightly bedraggled, and Kasahara had what looked like a disemboweled knit spider dangling from his shoulder.
"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad!" Eris said, her tone cheery but her voice strained.
"We were in a locked room that was literally full of spiders," Zhixin muttered. "That's bad enough when the spiders aren't the size of a cat."
"And it's even worse when they just tank everything you throw at them," Vanessa added. "Magic or not, yarn shouldn't be that tough!"
"I tried cutting our way out," Kasahara mumbled, looking shell shocked. "Why did I try cutting our way out? They just kept coming and coming and coming…"
"Look, if you can't deal with a little plague of spiders, I might as well turn you into a sparrow and be done with you," Eris sneered. "Honestly, they didn't even have venom!"
"Boss, it's just us," Vanessa said. "We get it, you have this 'evil domineering goddess' routine you're going for, but you can tone it down a little."
Eris sighed. Her face softened for just a moment, but then went right back to a tight frown. "Let's just keep moving. We lost a lot of time in there, and the old man likely has a lot more tricks up the sleeves that constitute these halls."
"Trickier than the staircase on the ceiling?" Vanessa asked. "Not like I expected this place to use logical geometry, but seriously."
"Ancient wisdom-" Zhixin started, but Eris cut him off.
"Is what we need to retrieve! Now quit blabbing and get moving!" Eris snapped, causing a collective sigh as the group marched forward.
As they walked, Vanessa turned her head to look at their additional passenger. "Also, boss, is she going to-?"
"Whatever you're thinking, she probably won't," Eris said, sighing. "I don't even know when she hitched a ride with us, but if she hasn't said anything by now, she's probably not going to. Just ignore her."
With a shrug, Vanessa turned her head and resumed. However, they hadn't been moving long when a tusked face, all of its features obscured in shadow but the snakes atop its head, popped out of the walls and let loose an ear-piercing shriek. Zhixin nearly had a heart attack on the spot, and Kasahara pulled him back to his feet.
"Pitiful trick," Eris said, rolling her eyes. "The Aegis wouldn't do much even if it wasn't a knockoff. If scare tactics are all the old man has left, this'll be easy."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"Seriously?" Captain Black asked as he and the others surveyed the next room. "This is the next challenge?"
Indeed, the "second floor", space-bending notwithstanding, seemed to be a much more comfortable area. The long hallway was covered with floor to ceiling tapestries, with more stretching out like carpets over the ground. These tapestries were a riot of colors and images, a beautiful if somewhat overwhelming display that left the group dazzled. The knit owls perched on eaves throughout the room were almost invisible in the display. That is, until their eyes opened to glare at the team.
"How much you want to bet those things jump us as soon as we walk in?" Jade asked sarcastically.
"Well, no sense waiting," Prometheus grumbled as he took the first step into the room. Immediately, all of the owls flew up from their perches and began to descend, prompting the rest of the team to start running.
The birds came down fast, their razor-sharp beaks and talons glinting in the dim light, ready to slash the intruders to ribbons. Tohru began swatting them aside with swings of his massive arms, and Jackie grabbed Jade to shield her. Prometheus and Hestia stayed safely within the middle of the group, Prometheus lobbing fireballs at the cloth birds, burning them up on contact. Unfortunately, that filled the air with burning cloth, which was less than preferable.
Captain Black, trying to dodge a scrap of flying cloth, braced himself on a wall, his hand brushing a section of tapestry marked with a woven blowfish. Immediately, he was forced to jump backwards as one of Uncle's signature chi blasts shot out from the wall, nearly knocking him flat.
"He's booby-trapped this whole room with spells!" Prometheus realized. "Watch what you touch!"
"Just keep running!" Tohru advised. "Hopefully we'll charge past anything that tries to hit us!"
The group, desperate to escape, ran full speed down the corridor, escaping up the staircase and kicking aside any birds that followed. They took a deep breath upon escaping the latest magical trap, only to gasp when the group came face-to-face with Eris and her henchmen-and, even more disturbing, a second Hestia.
"Whoa," Jade muttered, her eyes darting back and forth between the twin goddesses as the entire group's mouths gaped. "Double your fun."
"Wait, there are two-" Eris stammered out, which got a smug grin from Prometheus.
"Well of course," the Titan said, speaking slowly, as if Eris were a toddler. "Hestia's been keeping an eye on both sides, after all-and, unlike you, she's a full goddess, and can be in multiple places at once. Takes a lot of effort, but no one can say she's not fair."
"Wait, but splitting her essence like that?" Eris said to herself, her eyes spinning. "That's just...I mean…"
Vanessa looked at the goddess currently muttering to herself and sighed. "Well, she's going to be out for a bit. Might as well just wai-" she began before suddenly vanishing. Before anyone could react, she reappeared directly in front of Jackie, grabbing him by the shirt and tossing him into the air. The stunned martial artist landed right at Kasahara's feet, prompting a twisted grin from the thief.
"Your end is near, Chan-Jackie-Chan!" the thief bragged as paper started to emerge from his skin, folding in increasingly complex shapes as his form became hidden from view. Eventually, standing in his place was a man-sized lobster, its features incredibly menacing. "Finally, I shall have justice!"
In all of the excitement, nobody noticed as the walls began to shift and fold, the images on them slowly changing to a uniform scene….
Kasahara quickly scuttled towards Jackie, his pincers prepped to tear Jackie's arms off at the shoulders. Jackie tried to back away, only to be halted by a rope wrapping around his neck. Vanessa had teleported right on top of him, her foot pressing into his chest and her whip starting to choke him.
"No point trying to sneak away," Vanessa said with a grin. "Kasahara's been waiting for this for such a long time, and it'd be cruel to disappoint him."
"Then I suppose you can call me cruel," came Tohru's voice as the man charged forward, rushing past Jackie and grappling with Origami before he could get close enough to attack. With Vanessa distracted by the interruption, Jackie, struggling to breathe, tried to unwrap his neck and crawl away. However, while he was able to unbind his neck, Vanessa's foot still kept him in place, leaving him nowhere to turn as Zhixin advanced upon him.
"Ancient wisdom-" Zhixin cackled, charging up his hands before he was interrupted.
"If you're focused on the trees, then the forest's gonna get ya!" came Jade's voice as the girl delivered a flying kick to his face. The monk stumbled backwards, the blasts blindfiring from the interruption and crashing into the wall, which absorbed the energy without making a sound.
Meanwhile, Tohru had delivered a two-fisted strike to Origami, shattering his papery carapace and leaving him scrambling for a new form. Taking advantage of the opportunity, he quickly turned and knocked Vanessa off of Jackie, sending her flying. "Thanks for the save," Jackie said as Tohru helped him up.
"Absolutely. Now then, where were we?" Tohru asked, turning back to Origami, only to see Eris standing right in front of him.
"Sorry to cut in, but I don't like people hurting my employees," the goddess said with a sickly sweet grin. "So do me a favor? Die painfully!" She slammed her hand into Tohru's stomach, prompting a bright green glow where her blow struck. For a moment, the man didn't react, only to start twitching uncontrollably.
"Tohru! Are you-?" Jackie began to ask, but was halted by the sight of strange black spots appearing all over Tohru's skin. However, it wasn't until the spots started moving that he realized what they were.
"Are those...ticks?" Captain Black asked, a nauseated look on his face.
"Makes sense," Jade said, equally disgusted. "Between that hair and those clothes, she's got to be a bug's nest..."
"Hey, watch it! You don't see me giving you grief about your fashion sense," Eris said as she withdrew her hand. "And besides, I think you have something else to worry about. After all, five minutes with these bloodsuckers on 'im and, well...you ever see a dehydrated pomegranate?"
In an instant, Tohru's expression changed to one of complete panic as he started frantically swatting at the ticks, charging all over the room. Meanwhile, Jade's face twisted into a fierce glare. "Okay, playtime's over," she growled as she flew at Eris, sending out blows in a blind fury. The goddess laughed at the ineffective strikes until one landed right in her solar plexus, staggering her a bit before she dissipated into smoke, reappearing about a foot down the hall..
"Ugh, you've got spunk, kid," Eris snarled. "But I have people for that. Oi!" she shouted, gesturing at her now completely recovered minions. "Get over here and kill this brat already!"
The three nodded and, with military precision, charged at Jade. Kasahara was first in line, taking his favored samurai form and priming his blades for the strike. With Tohru freaking out and Jackie frantically trying to calm him down and help get the ticks off, Captain Black took it upon himself to look after her, seizing her in his hands and rolling forward, crashing directly into Origami and sending them all tumbling away. The three then crashed into Eris, taking her along for the ride. In the end, the four of them ended up in a heap on the floor right in front of Prometheus and the two Hestias, who had moved to the sidelines to watch the fight unfold.
"Hang on!" Jackie shouted as they landed, picking ticks one by one off a whimpering Tohru as Vanessa and Zhixin tried to strike at the two. "We're coming!"
"Why don't you just give it up now, Prometheus?" Eris hissed from underneath Captain Black. "The power of Athena will be mine, and Hestia will help me bring back the good old days! And my first act will be punishing you and all of mankind for your atrocities!"
"You're one to talk, lady!" Captain Black argued as they struggled to pull themselves apart. "If anybody needs a lesson in crime and punishment, it's you!"
As they continued to argue, the cloth wall inched its way closer, beginning to wrap around them. Its images were clearer now, but would have been too difficult to discern even if they had been paying attention.
"Okay, Tohru, you're all good...Jade!" Jackie yelled, looking up just as he plucked the last tick from Tohru's body. "Look out for that...that thing!"
Vanessa and Zhixin were utterly flummoxed as Jackie leapt straight up, then slammed his hands down on top of Vanessa's head like he was playing leapfrog to bounce over her and reach his niece. Just before he could reach, though, the cloth, now a thick blanket embroidered with images of its victims, had completely engulfed them. There was just enough time for everybody in the heap to scream before the blanket collapsed, empty.
"Where'd they go?!" Jackie demanded, his voice rising in pitch. He hadn't been this worried about Jade since she'd been accidentally banished to the Demon Netherworld.
"If I had to guess…" a shaky voice said.
Jackie turned to Tohru, and saw that while the massive man was covered in welts, he seemed otherwise unharmed. However, his entire body was still trembling, including the hand that was currently pointing towards the wall. Jackie whipped right back around and gaped at the strange tapestry hanging on the wall, one that hadn't been there a few moments before. It showed Jade, Captain Black, Prometheus, Eris, and Kasahara standing before a couple of tables, with an unfamiliar figure holding a gavel and balance glaring at all of them from atop a high three-legged seat.
"...I'd say in court."
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PA2: And that's a wrap! For now at least. Yep, this one's a two-parter!
MP: It was already a two-parter. Now it's more.
PA2: Well, our vision was that every two chapters would be roughly one episode, so in terms of the "show", it is just a two-parter.
MP: That "two chapters an episode" rule will soon be broken, too. And really-*needle scratch* Kath Soucie! That's Hestia's voice!
PA2: Works for me. So, preview?
MP: Absolutely. Take it, PA2.
PA2: As heroes and villains alike make their way through Uncle's lair, who knows what further trials they shall have to overcome? Come back for Chapter 5: Turnabout Tapestry, to find out!