Harry fingers did not seem to work as he tried to button up his dress robes and smooth down his hair. The thought of what he was doing, getting dressed for Remus and Tonks' funeral, felt as unreal to him as Fred's had been the day before.
As promised, it had been horrible.
Granted, everyone had tried, tried almost too much, to make the service feel like Fred. There were attempts at jokes, sarcastic comments, fireworks, and charmed Bludgers with Fred's face on them that hovered on either side of the enormous flower arrangements at the front of the field where everyone gathered. George tried the hardest of all; Harry could barely watch him at first, standing in his magenta Wheezes robes, trying to make small talk before the service started. When Angelina Johnson arrived, she made a beeline for George and enveloped him in an enormous hug. He melted into her, took her hand, and did not let it go the rest of the afternoon, even when he got up to give his eulogy.
Harry understood, given that he didn't want to be more than a foot or two away from Ginny. She obviously felt the same way, alternately sobbing into his shoulder and squeezing his hand so tightly it went numb. He didn't care; Ginny had lost her brother for Merlin's sake, and Harry felt like he would have done almost anything to take away the pain he saw etched on every redheaded face around him.
Afterwards, he just wanted to walk, and they circled the Weasley's property at least a dozen times, barely speaking. He could see George sitting with Angelina up by Fred's headstone. At one point, Harry saw that she had conjured a sleeping bag and pillows; apparently George was not going to let Fred spend his first night in the ground alone.
Harry slept in Ron's room. He gave Ginny a soft kiss and then held her for a long time before going upstairs, and then he lay awake for a long time.
And then the next day, they had to do it again.
Harry dressed in a fog, held Ginny to apparate her to the cemetery where the service would be held, and stared at the crowd of mourners without really seeing any of them. The day before, almost his entire focus had been on Ginny and making sure he gave her whatever she needed. Today, he couldn't keep his eyes off the tiny bundle in the arms of Andromeda Tonks. The ache of recognition for his godson, now preparing to grow up without parents, was at first unbearable.
Ginny watched Harry watching little Teddy. "He's got people who love him; adore him," she whispered quietly. "It's not going to be the same."
Harry nodded automatically. "I know," he murmured. But he still couldn't shake the lump in his throat.
A wizard from the Auror office who had worked closely with Tonks gave her eulogy. It was personal and warm and even funny in places. Harry knew he was going to miss Tonks and her blunt way of speaking, her clumsiness, her fierce devotion to her friends and family.
And then it was his turn. Ginny turned to look as he stood up; he hadn't told anyone his role today. He strode to the front of the crowd and stood at the podium, gathering his thoughts. Suddenly, a small cry from the front row intruded on the silence. Harry saw a tiny arm waving out of the blankets, and he knew exactly what to say. When he began, he spoke entirely to Teddy.
Your dad, he was one of the smartest, kindest, and most loyal men I ever met. He was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher I ever had; I would have probably not made it through my third year of school if not for him.
He had his faults, as everyone does, but he learned from his mistakes and was a better man for them, afterwards. And he loved your mum and loved you, more than anything. Harry had to stop here for a moment, willing himself not to cry, not yet. What he had to say was too important. After a few silent, deep breaths, he continued.
I know how . . . unfair . . . this is all going to seem to you when you are older. Losing both your mum and dad at the same time, is, well . . . I promise that you and I will sit down and have many long talks about that. As many as you want. I'll buy you your first butterbeer. And tell you about girls. Harry heard a few watery chuckles then and it made it easier to continue.
The thing is, Teddy, is that your parents understood better than most how important it was that you grow up in a world free from fear and evil.. Your dad, he was not a fighter by nature, but he took up this fight so that you won't have to. And I know for an absolute fact that he is watching you, right now, and he will be for every minute of your life. I promise that you will never have to wonder about him, because there are so many people here right now who knew him and knew your mum, and who are going to make sure that you are loved and adored for every second of your life.
Harry gave up in his attempts not to cry. He felt a soft hand in his and saw that Ginny had come up to stand next to him. He squeezed her hand. "Loved and adored for every second," he repeated, thankful that Ginny had known to put those words in his thoughts.
Afterwards Harry went through the motions of talking and hugging and crying. The minutes he spent holding Teddy were the only ones that felt real to him, and he knew he was going to be spending a lot of time with the boy.
Finally, they were all back at the Burrow. Molly threw herself into setting up an enormous dinner; no one had really eaten much in the past few days. Harry wasn't sure anyone felt like eating now, but he also knew it really didn't matter. George walked back up to sit by Fred's grave with Angelina. They were levitating a large cardboard box between them and for some reason, it made Harry feel the tiniest bit hopeful. Charlie was deep in discussion with his father and Percy was walking around mending all the bits and pieces of the Burrow that had been damaged over the past year. Hermione and Ron were nowhere to be found.
Harry and Ginny were setting up tables outside when he a movement out of the corner of his eye made him grab his wand and whirl around. But it was just Bill and Fleur, his arm tight around her shoulder, walking quickly towards the darkest part of the Weasley's orchard. Harry watched them for a long minute until they had entirely disappeared from sight. They weren't walking to the Apparition point; Harry remembered Mrs. Weasley saying that she wanted everyone staying over at the Burrow for a couple of nights. He imagined what they might be getting up to, but he wasn't certain until Ginny came up next to him.
"There was about a half hour, before you came . . . back," she said quietly. "At Hogwarts. Bill couldn't find Fleur anywhere. It turns out she was in the greenhouses, trying to get a couple of villagers from Hogsmede untangled from a huge pot of Devil's Snare. But until he found her . . ." Ginny voice trailed off ; she didn't need to say anymore about the depth of horror Bill must have felt.
"He hasn't left her alone since then, but I don't think they have really had the chance to, you know, be alone," she continued. And since my mum wants us all to stay here tonight . . ."
"I get it," said Harry quickly. "The entire first year of their marriage has been hell. They deserve some release." He kissed Ginny on the forehead. "I know we talked the other night about, you know, honoring Fred's memory and all, but I'm not sure how to . . . with Hermione in your room, and you mum, and well, everything." He swallowed, "I want to, though. And we will. I mean, we will do . . . things. I don't mean everything. But some things. Soon."
Ginny smiled. "I know, Harry. I waited a whole year. I can wait a couple more days. Especially now that I know that you are actually going to come home to me."
Harry couldn't help kissing her, really kissing her, right there. They were still wrapped around each other when George and Angelina came down from the hill, holding hands. They were actually laughing quietly about something and George seemed more comfortable than Harry had seen him in days. He caught Harry's eye and raised his one eyebrow in a look of mock surprise.
"That looks like more than just holding her hand, Potter," George muttered as they walked by. "Good job."
Dinner was a subdued, but not depressed, affair. Everyone told their favorite stories about Fred and Fleur and Bill emerged from the trees just in time for pudding. Harry felt relaxed for the first time in as long as he could remember and when he kissed Ginny goodnight outside her door, it was rather less chaste than the previous evening's kiss had been.
An hour later, he was trying to fall asleep in Ron's room, but his thoughts kept drifting. He remembered the feel of Ginny's arms around him, and how it felt to kiss her, and what they might do if they were to sneak off into the orchard one night like Bill and Fleur. Before he knew it, he was hard, and he hadn't even touched himself or thought of anything particularly sexy.
Harry swallowed. Ron was only feet away from him and Harry doubted his understanding about the fact that Harry and Ginny were together would extend to leaving the room so that Harry could have a proper wank. He tried to think of something else – anything else – but to be honest, he didn't want to stop thinking about Ginny. The kisses they had shared in her room were tormenting him; they had been lying on her bed! But despite his arousal, he meant what he'd told her earlier, that he thought they should wait until they weren't at the Burrow until they did anything. They were not married; Harry didn't doubt at all how much Ginny's parents liked him, but still, it made sense to wait.
Except that his body had other ideas and these ideas would not let Harry sleep. After considering for half a second whether it would be possible to either wank right there in complete silence or to set a few privacy charms without Ron knowing what was going on, he quickly rolled out of bed.
"Loo," he muttered, siding out of the room so that Ron couldn't see his condition.
Instead of the full bathroom on the Weasley's second floor, Harry headed instead for the first floor powder room Mr. Weasley had finally added to the house after his recent promotion. It was tucked in a private corner between the kitchen proper and the pantry, and it had the advantage of usually being empty, because everyone in the family generally tended to forget it was even there. Harry was quite confident he would not be interrupted, sneaking down there in the middle of the night.
Except that, when he got to the kitchen, Harry could see a low, flickering light and a figure moving around. He froze for a second until the figure moved into the light and Harry could see long, red hair. Ginny.
He watched her for a long second, moving closer, until he stood behind the kitchen counter that jutted out into the room like an L. She was rummaging through the refrigerator, and he saw her pull out a bowl of the berry trifle Molly had made. Fred's favorite.
Ginny dipped her finger in the bowl and pulled out a strawberry covered in cream. As she popped it in her mouth, she looked up and saw Harry. Her eyes opened and she swallowed quickly, a smile growing on her face.
"Hi," she said softly. She gestured to the bowl. "I was a little hungry."
"You're always a little hungry," Harry grinned. He moved a little further behind the counter.
"Why are you down here? Do you want some trifle?" Ginny held out the bowl.
"Umm, I just came down for some water," Harry improvised. "Ron was snoring and I couldn't sleep." Ginny put the bowl down and filled a cup with water, walking across the kitchen towards him. Harry involuntarily took another step into the shadow of the counter.
Ginny's face wrinkled in confusion. She stopped about four feet from him, holding out the water. "Don't you want it?" she asked.
Oh please, I definitely want it, thought Harry. He tried to subtly adjust himself while he thought up an excuse as to why he wasn't walking over to get the cup of water, and probably kiss Ginny at the same time. "I umm, actually, I don't really need the water," he said hastily.
"Harry, are you okay?" Ginny took another step towards him; she was almost close enough to touch.
"I'm wearing pajamas!" Harry said quickly.
"So? I am too," said Ginny. "It's after midnight. I suspect everyone in the family is probably wearing pajamas."
"No, it's not that. But they are . . . I mean, they don't . . . I can't" Harry fumbled with his explanation while Ginny waited silently. Finally, he gave up the truth. "Pajamas don't hold anything . . . in," he said, feeling his face flame. "And I'm, umm. I'm hard." He mumbled the last word and wished he could fall through the floor.
But instead of being embarrassed along with him, Ginny gave Harry a shy smile. "Because of me?" she asked. "Did you get that way because you were thinking of me?"
"Well, yeah," said Harry. "It's always because I'm thinking of you." Despite the embarrassing nature of this conversation, Harry's arousal was not fading. If anything, it was getting stronger. He shifted behind the counter, adjusting himself again.
"Always?" Ginny's voice was fascinated. She had moved closer to him and Harry could see her eyes were dilated despite the dim light. Her glance shifted for a fraction of a second, to the place where Harry's lower half still hid behind the counter. She took another step closer. "What do you do, when you think of me?"
Harry felt like all the air had gone out of the room. Something was changing between them; he didn't want to be embarrassed anymore. He took a deep breath before answering.
"I . . . touch myself, when I think of you," he said. He moved towards the edge of the counter, not fully in the open, but so that Ginny could see one hip. "That's what I was coming downstairs to do tonight," he admitted. "Because I was lying in Ron's room thinking about you and going crazy."
"I've been going crazy too," Ginny said softly. She was right in front of him now and she grabbed both of his hands and pulled him to stand right in front of her.
Harry couldn't help himself. He stepped forward and took Ginny's face in his hands before giving her a deep kiss. The arousal he had been trying to hide skimmed her belly and she made a low noise, deep in her throat. Harry stepped closer, pressing himself to her, and groaned with relief.
The kissed for several minutes and it felt so good Harry didn't know how he could ever stop. But then Ginny took his hand and led him towards the sitting room. "Hermione is in my room. I think," she said.
"You think?"
Ginny shrugged. "It's quite possible she snuck up to see my brother," she said. "I caught them trying to get up there before dinner, until my mom found them when she was looking for the extra set of tablecloths."
"Then I'm really, really relieved I came down here, then," said Harry.
"I think you need to stay for a while," agreed Ginny.
They walked into the sitting room. Harry had only ever seen it full of Weasleys and noise, but now he could appreciate the cozy sofa and fireplace. The wide open doorway was more of a problem though.
Ginny pointed at it nonchalantly and muttered a spell that Harry had never heard before; he could have sworn it included the word "Christmas" in it. When he looked quizzically at her, she grinned.
"It's a spell mum invented, to keep us out of the sitting room while she and dad wrapped presents." Her voice grew a little sly. "Although, I think that over the years, various of my brothers have used it for other purposes, when they needed privacy."
"Brilliant," Harry breathed. He could see the ward, and he could still see into the kitchen beyond, but he had no desire to go there.
"It combines a mild compulsion charm to keep people on the other side of the ward, and also makes the room look empty," Ginny explained. "We should have plenty of privacy."
"Not the mention the fact that it's one in the morning," Harry pointed out. He was finished talking about wards and the clock, though, and he tugged on Ginny's hand until they both tumbled together onto the wide couch. Whether by accident or fortuitous design, Harry's erection fit itself neatly into the notch of Ginny's hip as they spread out long, facing each other on the cushions.
He looked at her and smiled. "Well, hi."
She smiled back. "Hi."
The air between them felt heavy and every fiber of Harry's being was tingling. When he moved his head to kiss her, she responded by snuggling closer and rolling from her side to her back, bring Harry along with her. Suddenly, his erection, which had been fairly content with the pressure of Ginny's hip, was positioned between her legs and the sensation was the most glorious thing Harry had felt yet.
He stared down at Ginny. "Did you mean to . . . umm . . . is this okay?"
Ginny answered him by wrapping her arms around his back and thrusting upwards lightly. "Mmmm, more than okay," she said, rather breathlessly. "Is it okay with you?"
Harry barked out a short laugh. "There is nothing about this that is merely 'okay,'" he said. He pushed himself into her. "Taking care of myself, in the loo, now that's okay." He thrust again. "This is fantastic." He kissed her more deeply, loving the way that his arousal felt every time he shifted position.
"I didn't know it would feel so good for me," said Ginny contentedly. Her eyes were closed and she was pushing up into him with rhythmic thrusts. Harry let her take the lead down there; he was busy trailing kisses across her jaw and to her neck, when Ginny moved her hands to his bum and pushed him into her, harder than before. She bent her knees on either side of him, and Harry slid more tightly against her.
All thoughts of kissing flew out of Harry's head. He couldn't help thrusting into her with more pressure and she rose to meet him. Vaguely, it occurred to him that but for the thin fabric of their pajamas, they might have been actually . . . doing a lot more, and the thought pushed him closer to the edge.
It had come on fast. Harry had never considered that he could be brought to the edge of climax while still clothed, and without anyone or anything touching his penis, but here he was. Ginny was making soft but intense sounds underneath him and their bodies were connected at dozens of points and everything felt so good, Harry just let himself go.
He couldn't even cry out a warning before he came, warm fluid spurting onto their pajamas and his stomach, and Ginny's, where their shirts had ridden up.
Ginny started in surprise, her eyes flying open as she gave one last thrust herself. "Did you just . . .? I mean, obviously you did."
Harry buried his face in her neck. "Yes," he mumbled. "I couldn't wait."
He felt Ginny chuckle beneath him. "That's brilliant!"
Harry looked up at her "It was? But you didn't . . . I mean, I should have been able to last longer."
Ginny kissed him. "You will next time," she said confidently. "I mean, for the first time without . . . umm, without taking care of it yourself, I thought it was pretty amazing. It felt really good," she ended, a little shyly.
"Do you want me to try to . . ." Harry gestured between their legs, not exactly sure what he was offering.
"Oh. No, you don't . . ." Ginny began. She reached up to kiss him. "I don't think I'm ready for that," she said. "I'm feeling good right now."
Harry nodded, both relieved and a little disappointed. "I'm feeling good too. I just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything."
Ginny giggled. "Girls aren't like blokes," she said. "We don't 'need' as much as you do." She put her hand on his cheek and turned his head so she could look in his eyes. "But I want to soon."
Harry nodded and let his head fall back onto Ginny's shoulder. He was feeling very sleepy now.
"D'ya think Hermione is out of Ron's room by now?" Wards or not, he suspected that falling asleep here on the sofa with Ginny would be a very bad idea.
"If not, I'll be you one Stinging Hex we can get her out of there quickly," said Ginny.
Harry rolled off the couch and took her hand to pull her up too. "It's a deal."