September 1947

From the minute she arrived back home, Caithness had never felt quite so far away.

OWL results day had been a great day of celebration, as Minerva and her whole family had been thrilled with the eleven Outstanding results she achieved. The lone Exceeds Expectations in Divination was more ironic than it was a disappointment, since she'd expected a lower grade considering how much bluffing she'd done during the exam in attempting to tell Professor Saige her fortune. The examiner had looked more than a little bemused at the contradictory account of what the rest of the year held for her, but Minerva had been too happy to see the back of the woolly subject to worry about how she'd done at the time. All five McGonagalls had gone to the local pub that evening for an enjoyable dinner together, and it had been easy for Minerva to pretend then that the rest of the holiday would be ok.

It had been genuinely nice to spend some proper time with her brothers though, as most evenings found the three of them sat on Robbie's bottom bunk attempting to play Exploding Snap without letting on to their mother that they were doing something magical in the Muggle cottage. Both Malcolm and Robbie had been a little quiet with her to start with, and Robbie in particular had been clingier than he had been in years, and while staring at her ceiling later one night Minerva supposed that with how much she'd scared them with the third task she couldn't blame them. She had always felt a lot older than them considering how she'd always helped her mother keep their magical accidents a secret, even though there were less than three years between her and Malcolm and hardly another two between him and Robbie. But since coming home for the first time after everything had happened she felt further away from them than ever.

With the number of times she'd woken everyone up with her nightmares while at Poppy's house she'd found herself to anxious to sleep without the security of a Silencing Charm on her bedroom door, overly conscious of her brothers in the next room and her parents just down the hallway. She was hardly sleeping anymore, struggling with her lack of appetite, and missing the comfort of her friends more than she'd ever thought possible. She'd barely even been home a few days when she realised she just wanted to go back to London.

Her lucky strike came near the end of the first week. She was eating breakfast with her mother and father just before he left for work when the telephone rang from its place by the front door, and Minerva didn't think anything of it as her mother got up to answer it. She'd thought it unusual when her mother reappeared in the dining room to tell Minerva that the phone call was for her, but the real shock came when she took the receiver and heard a familiar voice on the end of the line.

"Min! Oi Min, can you hear me through there?"

It was Ro, and Minerva's face lit up with the first genuine smile in days at the sound of her friend's confused shout. "I'm here Ro," she answered, quickly shutting the door between her and the dining room.

"Wha's'at?" She yelled back, before she broke off to what sounded like a quiet scuffle on the other end of the line.

Minerva was about to ask if she was still there when another voice spoke in her place. "Minerva, this is Poppy speaking. Are you on your own?"

The unusual question had Minerva immediately worried. "Yes," she said slowly, "Why, is everything ok?"

Poppy's rough sigh sounded through the receiver. "Well, I suppose it is and it isn't. Ro and I are fine, but Irma arrived back here a few days ago. She… uh…"

Minerva found herself twisting the phone cord around her fingers nervously as Poppy struggled with her words. Even what she'd said so far was concerning, both in the fact that Irma had gone back to London before they had to meet the Hogwarts Express and the fact that she had gone back alone. But nothing could have prepared her for Poppy's next words, and she sat down with a thump on the footstool in shock.

"He hurt her, Min. Her father. She failed her Arithmancy OWL like we thought she had, and he hit her and shoved her into something hard. She was in such a state when she got here and she refused to let me take her to St Mungo's, didn't want anyone else to see what he'd done. I couldn't do much to help her, not without my magic."

There was a pause, in which Minerva could feel her own heart beating in her ears. Then came quiet "She's on the mend, physically at least. Are you alright?"

Minerva exhaled sharply. "Yeah. Yes I'm fine," she said, wincing at the sound of her own shaking voice. "That was just… just felt too much like what you told me in the Hospital Wing that day."

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry," Poppy sighed out. "I should have told you first that she's ok."

"It's alright," Minerva mumbled. In that moment she longed to hold Svetlana's wand, the feel of the smooth ebony wood between her fingers never failing to bring her back down to Earth, but her mother had insisted on locking it away beneath her bed with Minerva's own wand.

The line was quiet for a moment, the only sounds being Poppy's breathing and the crackling of the received before Poppy spoke again. "I wanted to ask, is there any way you could come back here earlier than next week? Irma's closer to you than she is to me and Ro and I think she'd appreciate having you here."

"Of course." Minerva said immediately, abruptly standing up. "If Mother doesn't agree then I'll take the Knight Bus, either way I'll be with you by tonight."

It was obvious from the expressions on her parent's faces when she returned to the table that they weren't happy with her decision. But when she explained the circumstances why she had to go they seemed to agree with her going for Irma's sake, though Minerva couldn't help but feel a stab of guilt at the disappointment on her brother's faces when they found out she was leaving early. She hugged them a little tighter than necessary when the time came for her to go, and while her mother didn't have the time to apparate her back to London she did walk her to the edge of the village where she could catch the Knight Bus undisturbed.

"Minerva," her mother began, voice a little hesitant. "The young man you're courting, the Minister's son. Are you happy with him?"

Her smile was involuntary as she thought of Larry, and the frequent letters they'd exchanged over the summer holiday which were wrapped up and safe in her satchel. "I really am. We've been friends for years but I suppose we were almost something more for a long while before he asked me out in June," she said. They still hadn't had the promised Hogsmeade date in light of the Tournament's end, but they had managed to squeeze in a couple of lunch dates in addition to his birthday celebration during her time in London which more than made up for it.

Her mother nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer. "I must say I'm glad that you are not making the same mistake as I did," she said quietly.

Minerva couldn't help but flinch. She wrestled with her words for a moment before finally finding the courage she needed to ask the question she'd wanted an answer to for years. "Why did you do it? Why did you up your whole life for him?"

"Because I loved him. And I still do."

It wasn't the answer she'd been hoping for, but she supposed it was the simplest truth she could have been given. More hesitantly, she asked "Was it worth it?"

This time there was a longer silence, compared to the speed at which her mother had answered the first questions. "I don't think I'll ever be certain of that," she eventually mused aloud.

An uncomfortable feeling of guilt wormed its way into Minerva's stomach at that answer, putting her mind at war between the love she had for her father and the confusion she held for her mother's decision. But, she reasoned with herself, if her mother had never made that choice then Minerva wouldn't exist, so she couldn't look down on her too much for it.

Those thoughts continued to play on her mind throughout the journey back to London, which was a good couple of hours even with the magic of the Knight Bus. Minerva spent the time hoping that her seat didn't come unscrewed from the floor whilst thinking about both her mother's past and her own future. She and Ro would both be legal adult witches within the next two months, and they would all be embarking on the last part of their education at Hogwarts. What would they all do then? As much as she'd thought about potential ideas before her careers advice session back in April, thinking about the future and actually facing it were two very different things. And in many ways, the girl she'd been back then felt worlds away from the one who was currently clinging to her rattling seat for dear life.

But the familiarity of walking up Poppy's front path was enough to chase those wandering thoughts away for the moment. Her hand was inches away from the knocker when the door was flung open and Ro barrelled into her in a very enthusiastic hug, much to the apparent amusement of Poppy behind her.

"Come on then, how many O's did you get?" Ro said as soon as she'd released her.

In her tired state of mind it took Minerva a second to work out that it was OWL results she was referring to. "Eleven. Everything but Divination," she said, smiling herself when Ro grinned at her.

"Course you did. If I didn't love you I'd hate you for it," Ro laughed with not a trace of malice. "Honestly though you worked so hard, I knew it would pay off."

Poppy nodded, giving Minerva a warm embrace before she nudged Ro's shoulder with a knowing expression. "As did it for you – I'm surprised you haven't told her yet!"

"Merlin's balls I nearly forgot," Ro laughed before fixing Minerva with a blinding grin. "I got the E in Transfiguration!"

Minerva's face split into a beaming smile and she grabbed one of Ro's hands in her own. "Oh I'm so happy for you, you so deserved that," she said, meaning every word. Getting into NEWT Transfiguration was the one academic goal that Ro had really tried for during their exams, and while Minerva had helped her out anytime she asked it was Ro's dedication that had pulled her through.

"Couldn't have done it without you," Ro attempted to shrug modestly but the brightness of her yellow eyes gave away just how much it had meant to her. "And this one came out with six O's and four E's, so I'd say we've all done pretty well," she added with a tilt of her head towards Poppy

"That's amazing, you did so well," Minerva said, wrapping an arm around Poppy's shoulders. Her happy mood dropped slightly though when she realised who was missing, frowning slightly in concern as she asked "Wait, where's Irma?"

Poppy and Ro glanced at each other. "She's in my room," Poppy answered first, glancing upwards towards the house as if half-expecting to see her at the window. "Like I said on the telephone, she is on the mend but she's still more shaken than she wants to admit. If she catches someone staring at her face she just clams up. Not that I blame her, of course I don't, but-." She trailed off there as if unsure what she was going to say in the first place.

Minerva understood though, and gave a sad smile as she nodded. "We should go in," she said, prompting Ro to pick up the handle of her trunk and Poppy to shepherd them inside.

Irma was sat on the bed facing away from them when they entered Poppy's room, which Minerva knew had to be deliberate considering how much noise Ro had made dragging the trunk up the stairs. Suddenly she found herself unsure of how to approach her friend; not knowing what she would see when Irma turned round, and not knowing what she could say that wouldn't make her withdraw herself even further. "Welcome back," Irma said without looking at her, and the usual dryness in her voice was masked under a quiet hesitance.

"And the same to you," Minerva said, giving a nod to Poppy and Ro before she skirted around the bed to where Irma was. Still she didn't look at her until Minerva sat down and put a hand on her knee. Only then did she see the still-purple blotches around Irma's right eye and the fading green marks on her cheek, as well as the bruising around the cut across her nose.

After a few moments of enduring Minerva's gaze, Irma shifted uncomfortably and dropped her gaze back to the floor. "You don't need to be ashamed," Minerva insisted quietly, moving a little closer to Irma as Poppy and Ro joined them on the bed. "You did nothing to deserve this. No-one will think any less of you."

"I think less of myself. I hate seeing what he's done every time I look in a mirror." Irma muttered quietly. Minerva could tell she wanted to come across brash and unconcerned but her hollow tone just made her sound more vulnerable than ever.

The pained expression on Poppy's face made it obvious how much it tortured her that she couldn't do more to heal Irma's wounds. "It's only a few more days until we're back to school. The moment we're back on the train I can heal the cut completely and cover the bruises until they're gone. No-one will have to see anything," she said, and Minerva hummed in agreement.

Ro just huffed, though without an ounce of unkindness. "Anyone who says anything to you is going to get hexed if I find out. And don't you go saying you're not worth the trouble, because you're my friend and no-one hurts my friends."

"Ro, please-"

"I brought a chandelier down for Poppy. I'd do the same for any of you," Ro pointed out, ploughing over Irma's protest and fixing her with a stern look that allowed no arguments.

Irma was quiet for a moment after that, breathing deeply in what Minerva guessed was an attempt to keep her emotions in check. "Thank you," she eventually said. The wobble in her voice was enough for Minerva to want to hug her tightly, but she didn't get a chance to move before Ro had jumped forwards to wrap her arms around Irma's trembling form from behind.

The last week before the start of term passed quickly, and to Minerva it felt as if she'd hardly arrived back in London before she found herself walking into Kings Cross station. But the usual excitement at going back to Hogwarts was tempered by nervousness about seeing Septima for the first time since Irma had left home. They hadn't run into either her or Millicent during their trip to Diagon Alley to pick up their NEWT textbooks so they could only hope that the twins' reunion would be a happy one. After hearing from Irma what Septima had said to her before she'd left, however, Minerva was far less sure.

In a stark contrast to the solemn atmosphere that the last school year had ended on, the platform was a chaos of colour and laughter as everyone made their way to the Hogwarts Express. Minerva hadn't been completely sure how she would feel going back to Hogwarts after everything that had happened but the sight of the train had her smiling immediately, and she followed Ro through the crowd with an eagerness that surprised even herself. As soon as they boarded the train the first priority was getting Irma's bruises fully covered, then she and Minerva left Ro and Poppy in the compartment for the year's first Prefect meeting. Larry was the only one there when they arrived, and with a beaming grin he announced the news that he'd decided to tell her in person rather than in a letter; he'd been made Head Boy. The reunion with Millicent was a happy one too. After hugging them tightly she excitedly told them of her OWL results, mostly E's with a couple of O's, and was thrilled for both Minerva and Irma when they told her of theirs. But Irma didn't mention her Arithmancy mark, and the warning look that Minerva shot Millicent was met with a nod of quiet understanding. There was a time and a place for that story and it wasn't the then-crowded Prefects' compartment.

As the three of them headed back down the train after the meeting, Minerva caught a glimpse of Septima sat talking quite happily with Poppy and Ro through the door of the compartment. But Septima's smile faded as soon as she locked eyes with her sister, and all of Minerva's former misgivings returned in full force.

"Hey!" Millicent greeted them with an enthusiastic grin, rushing into the compartment to give Septima a tight hug. Either she hadn't noticed the chill in the air or she was choosing to ignore it – from experience, Minerva thought the latter was more likely – but her cheeriness did nothing soften the tension. Irma was stiff as a statue behind Minerva's back and Septima was watching her emotionlessly over Millicent's shoulder, while Poppy and Ro had both stood up as if in preparation for battle. Which, Minerva supposed, was more than accurate.

The stony quiet lingered as Millicent stepped back, looking more than a little helpless as Septima and Irma continued to stare each other down. Septima was the first to break the silence, in a contrast to Irma's usually more confronting nature. "You really did turn tail and run then. I was half expecting you'd come back," she said, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

Irma met her eyes for a fleeting moment before dropping her gaze to the floor. Out of the corner of Minerva's eye she saw Ro flick her wand and mutter an incantation, and the twinge in her ears caused by the slight change in pressure reassured her that the compartment had been silenced.

The lack of answer only seemed to enrage Septima more, and she took an angry step towards Irma. "Is this what you do now, run away every time you get told off? Are you going to bury your head in the sand every time you get a bad grade?"

"It was nothing to do with my grade, I failed that exam on purpose," Irma growled quietly, hands clenched into fists though she still wouldn't look her sister in the eye.

"You failed on purpose?" Septima echoed in furious disbelief. "What in Merlin's name were you thinking? Did you think he'd be pleased? You must have known how angry he'd have been!"

Poppy took a hesitant step forwards to place a hand on Septima's shoulder. "It's not her fault how he reacted," she said pleadingly, shaking Septima's shoulder in the hope of getting her to break eye contact with Irma. Minerva's heart went out to her friend for her desperate attempt to make Septima see sense without telling Irma's secret. A sidelong glance at Ro told her that she was struggling not to interfere, but Millicent's expression was one of pure shock as she watched the fight unfold.

"Of course it's her fault!" Septima shouted, shaking Poppy's hand away before pointing an accusatory finger at Irma.

There was a thunderous look in Ro's eyes as she looked at Septima, nothing short of disgust in her voice when she spoke. "Don't you dare! You know how scared she is of him, he's her Boggart for Merlin's sake, but you still keep defending him!"

Septima gave no sign she'd listened to anything Ro said as she continued undeterred. "How could you do that? You should have known what to expect, you brought this on yourself! You made the stupid choice to disappoint him and risk his temper, and then you only made it worse by running away. I don't understand why you did it!"

It was a struggle for Minerva to keep in mind that Septima had no idea exactly what her father had done to Irma, especially as she watched the corner of Irma's mouth twitch in an attempt to keep her emotions in check. "I know it was my fault, tell me something I don't know," she retorted, the self-loathing behind her words making Minerva wince. "But you never tried to see it from my side, did you? You could never understand how he could be so awful to me when he loves you so much."

"Of course I've noticed he doesn't like you, it's been nearly seventeen years. And you could have tried not to make him angry all the time, you're acting like it's all him and not you. Don't hate me because I actually make him proud!" Septima shot back, clearly rising to the fight now that Irma was defending herself.

Irma seemed unfazed by the continued accusation, scoffing as she moved further into Septima's space. "There you go again, refusing to believe he can do anything wrong. You care more about upholding his legacy and keeping him on your side than you do about me!"

"I never said you should have to do Arithmancy too! I tried to save you from Slughorn's questioning!"

"But you never tried to save me from him!"

The compartment fell silent after Irma's ragged shout, raw feeling creeping into her carefully emotionless tone. The only sounds were Irma and Septima's uneven breathing, and the stifled sniffles of Poppy and Millicent who were both crying in the background.

After what felt like an age, Septima shook her head. "You brought this on yourself," she repeated softly, before shoving between Minerva and Irma to throw open the compartment door and disappear down the corridor.

Millicent watched her go for a moment, looking torn as she glanced between Irma's stone-faced expression staring at the wall where Septima had been and the door that she'd left swinging behind her. Then she roughly wiped the stray tears that had fallen and hurried in the direction that Septima had gone, leaving a sobbed apology left in her wake.

No sooner had she gone did Minerva find her feet again, guiding Irma gently to sit down before she fell down if her grey face and shaking hands were any indication. Poppy and Ro sat down heavily on the other seat, Poppy's head buried in the crook of Ro's neck as she trembled with quiet sobs. Ro just looked emotionally drained, meeting Minerva's eyes with a hollow gaze as she stroked Poppy's hair.

Minerva didn't say anything, but none of them needed to. They all knew without speaking that they'd just witnessed everything change between them all.

They didn't see Septima or Millicent for the rest of the day, as there was no sign of them at Hogsmeade Station and they sat with the Quidditch Team on the way to the castle and at the Start of Term Feast. Minerva let herself be distracted from the twins' argument by talk of the upcoming Quidditch tryouts which would decide who would fill the Beater and Chaser positions that Nancy and Anthea had left vacant. They had a handful of reserve players for each position but Ro was eager to see if there would be any undiscovered talents at the tryouts, mentioning that she'd seen a few of the third years practising from Gryffindor Tower and had liked what she'd seen. After checking that everyone remaining on the team was available she provisionally decided that the tryouts would be the Saturday after her birthday, joking that it would give her another thing to look forward to during the first couple of weeks of term.

After a quiet night of Prefect duty to get the first years settled and making themselves at home in their own dormitory, the next day brought the start of term and the start of their NEWT years. She and the rest of the sixth year Gryffindors met with Professor Dumbledore in the Entrance Hall to finalise their subject choices before going in for breakfast, and Minerva didn't hesitate as she handed her Time-Turner back in return for a seven subject timetable. She'd been told at her careers advice appointment that she could keep it in order to take more subjects, but after the struggle that fifth year had been she was more than happy to go back to a normal workload.

The first lesson of the day was Potions, which found Minerva and Poppy down in the Dungeons with Irma. Ro had sent them off with a cheery wave, obviously thrilled to never have to set foot in Professor Slughorn's classroom again, and when they arrived it was clear that she was far from the only sixth year who had bid the subject goodbye. While been just Gryffindors and Slytherins in one class when the subject was compulsory, the small number of students still taking it meant that there were students from every house in the lesson. There were still a fair few Slytherins there – Alphard Black, Eileen Pince, Abraxas Malfoy, Druella Rosier, and Owle Bullock – but there was a noticeable absence of Apollyon Pringle within Abraxas' group. Minerva just assumed that he'd decided not to take the subject until Irma told her otherwise.

"He's been forced to retake fifth year," she said quietly, aware of the other Slytherins just across the classroom and the Dungeon's tendency to echo. "After the stunt he pulled in the Transfiguration exam he was disqualified from the rest of his exams and all his OWL results were voided. So he's been held back a year."

Privately, Minerva thought that it served him right. But she didn't get a chance to respond before Professor Slughorn arrived to start off the lesson.

"Good morning sixth years!" he boomed, and the chatter in the classroom fell quiet. "Welcome to NEWT level potions. In today's lesson we will be brewing Amortentia, a challenging and potent brew that is well suited for your first foray into NEWT potions. Now, can anyone tell me what Amortentia does?"

Druella put her hand up first, and was incredibly giggly when Professor Slughorn picked on her. "It's a love potion sir, the most powerful one in the world. It can make anyone fall in love with you."

"You're correct that it is the most powerful love potion in the world, Miss Rosier, but a little mistaken in what it can do," the Professor said, giving a knowing smile at Druella's look of outrage. "True love is impossible to produce via magical means. Even our powerful little friend can only ignite a deep lust in the subject. A truly dangerous potion in how it can manipulate people."

While some students looked doubtful, Minerva knew very well just how powerful love or lust could be. The conversation she'd had with her mother before leaving Caithness rang in her mind as proof of how a witch with the world at her fingertips had abandoned it all in the name of love.

Professor Slughorn moved aside to reveal a small cauldron placed on his desk. "Here I have a sample of Amortentia as an example for you all. You may come and give it a smell whenever you have a free moment; take notice of the things you scent, as it will be different for each of you and may surprise you. Now, let the brewing commence!"

Whereas she had always been paired up with Irma in the past, there were now enough desks set out for them to all work individually. But she waited for both her and Poppy to be in the brewing stage of their potions before they all went to the front of the class to where the complete potion was. As soon as Minerva approached it she could smell freshly brewed coffee, spring blossoms, cherry pie, and what she thought might have been quill ink; with a barely concealed smile she thought of Larry's dozens of letters which were in the top drawer of her bedside table.

"Seaside air and butterbeer," Poppy said immediately, peering into the cauldron at the pearlescent liquid. She hesitated with a pondering look before adding "And… and something I might have smelled in the common room. Pumpkin pasties, maybe. Or, no I think it might be wood polish." After another thoughtful pause she turned to Minerva and Irma and asked "What about you two?"

Irma brow was knitted in a look of concentration. "To be honest it just smells like Hogwarts," she admitted, nudging past Minerva to get a little closer. "The old books in farthest corner of the Library, the smoke in Hosgmeade station. And something outdoorsy, like rain or cut grass."

They didn't notice Professor Slughorn's approach until his voice sounded next to Poppy, and he sat down heavily behind his desk. "It has been known, Miss Vector, for the potion to smell of favourite places or memories to those who are not in pining after someone. Romance isn't the only form of love out there," he pointed out, his pale eyes meeting Irma's as she nodded. Minerva supposed that made sense considering how much of a safe haven Hogwarts was for her and how she'd once said that her friends were more like her family.

After the lesson ended they went back to the dormitory, where Ro was sat on her bed and polishing the handle of her Rocket with Godric the Puffskein humming happily in her lap. "Ah, I wondered when you lot were going to show up," she said with a cocky grin, before frowning in confusion. "What in Merlin's name were you brewing, I could smell that from a mile off!"

"Ah," Poppy giggled sheepishly, "I might have spilled some on my skirt. What can you smell?"

Ro hummed in thought. "I can definitely smell tea, the sort they serve at breakfast. That leathery smell in the Quidditch shed from the Quaffles and my arm guards. The fireplace in the common room. And clean bedsheets." After another moment of quiet she glanced over at Poppy and asked "Why're you asking me, you've been brewing it for the last two hours so you must know what it smells like!"

There was a faint look of something on Poppy's face as she shrugged, something Minerva couldn't quite put her finger on. Realisation, maybe. "It's Amortentia, it'll smell different to all of us," she explained, managing to just about catch Godric as he flung himself towards her. Even after four years she was still his favourite human.

"Gotcha," Ro nodded. She had an odd expression on her face too, but Minerva just thought back to the rant she'd had back in fourth year about how against being in a relationship she was and attributed it to that.

The next lesson for Minerva and Irma was History of Magic, while Poppy and Ro headed out into the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures. While they still hadn't run into Septima they did have Millicent sharing the class with them, and the minute she saw Irma she rushed over and hugged her without hesitation. Irma responded to her desperate apologies with an accepting nod and a small smile, assurance that she didn't blame Millicent either for what had happened or by following Septima in the train the previous day. But two hours of Professor Binns talking about the introduction of the International Statute of Secrecy she left for Ravenclaw Tower, casting them both a reluctant glance as she went. Minerva couldn't help but sigh at the mess they were all in.

But the issue of Septima and Irma's broken bond was forgotten as she and Poppy made their way down to Greenhouse 3 after lunch for Herbology. It was a subject she had always enjoyed since her first year – even as a child before her Hogwarts days she'd always been an outdoorsy sort of person with an affinity for gardening – so she'd picked it for NEWT level without thinking about it. And she still didn't think about it as Professor Beery took the register and welcomed them to the new year. It was only when she turned to see what was causing the rustling noise behind the workbench that she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe.

She'd forgotten that Greenhouse 3 was also home to a Venomous Tentacula.

"Minerva?" she heard Poppy ask quietly, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the fanged heads that were watching her with the air of a predator observing its prey. Her hand trembled and shoulder throbbed with the phantom pain of her limb being ripped out of its socket, her mind imagining vines constricting around her chest as her breathing grew shallow and frantic. Dark shadows flickered in her vision and for a split second she saw Svetlana's lifeless body suspended by those lethal vines with teeth embedded in her bloodied neck.

The static in her ears meant she didn't hear Professor Beery or notice the silence until Poppy's hand shaking her shoulder made her gasp, pain that wasn't really there spreading like lightening down her arm and across her ribs. "Miss McGonagall, do you need to take a moment outside?" he asked, seriousness in every line of his expression.

Minerva nodded. She hardly noticed the other students watching her as Poppy helped her to stand, making sure she could keep herself on her feet before letting her follow Professor Beery out of the Greenhouse. After shutting the door behind her he motioned for her to sit down with him on the steps. Minerva couldn't help but cover her ears and hunch over as she begged the flashbacks to go away.

After a minute or so of sitting in silence, Minerva looked up at Professor Beery who was watching her patiently. "I don't think I can continue with Herbology, Professor," she said, her voice sounding hollow even to her own ears.

The Professor was still for a moment before giving a solemn nod. "I understand, Miss McGonagall. I apologise for my lack of thought in not removing it from the greenhouse. If it is any consolation, it isn't the same specimen that you faced during the Tournament; Madame Crickerley ensured that it was put to death immediately."

That wasn't news to Minerva as Ro had told her of Madame Crickerley's confession, but she still gave a grateful nod. "It isn't your fault. I would have had to deal with it at some point during NEWTS," she pointed out.

"I'm afraid so," he agreed. "Why don't you go up to the Hospital Wing and get a calming draught from Madame Quinine, and then take the rest of the afternoon to yourself. Miss Pomfrey can take your belongings back to Gryffindor Tower so you don't need to go back in. I will speak to Professor Dumbledore in the staff room this evening and ask him to talk to you about changing your subject options."

Minerva nodded, already wishing she was back in her dormitory even though neither Ro or Poppy would be there to sit with her. "Thank you sir," she said.

Professor Beery stood up himself before offering her a hand, which she accepted with a mirthless smile. "I must say I will miss you in my lessons but I cannot think of another way. Nevertheless, I wish you the very best in your ongoing studies."

After repeating her thanks, she walked on foot until she heard the sound of the greenhouse door clicking shut before switching forms and sprinting on four paws across the grounds. She'd found over the summer that it was easier to deal with grief when she was a cat, though had yet to ask Professor Dumbledore why that was. Her emotions seemed to shrink as her senses expanded, giving her feline mind plenty of things to focus on rather than the ache in her chest that wasn't only physical.

Once back into the castle and heading up the Grand Staircase, she didn't turn towards the Hospital Wing or continue up to Gryffindor Tower. Instead she found her pawsteps taking her down the sixth floor corridor towards Professor Merrythought's office. She hadn't spoken to Professor Merrythought since their conversation in the Hospital Wing at the end of fifth year, and suddenly she found herself yearning for the Professor's no-nonsense type of support. Once at her door she glanced upwards at the handle before turning back into her human self, hoping the Professor wasn't teaching as she gave a loud knock.

"Come in!" shouted the familiar voice, and Minerva let herself into the office. Professor Merrythought was sat at her desk opposite the door, and upon looking up from what she was writing she gave Minerva a beaming smile. "Minerva, dear, come and sit down. I'll make the tea."

Minerva sat down on the edge of one of the sofas, looking around the room as she did so. Professor Merrythought's office was far cry from Professor Dumbledore's in that it doubled as her living quarters as well; she hadn't been there since her first year when Poppy had been Petrified but hardly anything had changed in the last five years. There were several comfy places to sit around both the fireplace and bay window, a door on the far wall that presumably led to a bedroom, and a small kitchenette with a cauldron stand where the Professor was busying around making the drinks. Minerva assumed it would be green tea since that was what she'd been given last time she was there, so was surprised when a hot mug of chamomile blend was pressed into her hands.

Professor Merrythought sat down in the chair opposite her, taking a sip of her tea before she spoke. Now, what brings you here this afternoon?" she asked.

For all the certainty she'd felt while standing outside the office door, Minerva suddenly felt at a loss with how to start conveying everything that she wanted to say. The warmth of the mug in her hands was surprisingly comforting as she thought quietly for a while, feeling the Professor's patient gaze on her even before she looked up from the carpet. "I saw Professor Beery's Venomous Tentacula today," she said, supposing it made sense to start with the exact reason why she was there.

"And that's brought back bad memories," Professor Merrythought guessed, her voice gentle and full of understanding.

Minerva hummed in agreement, her eyes dropping again as she nodded. "I had a lot of nightmares over the summer," she began, a little hesitantly at first though her words grew easier as she spoke. "It's never happened during the day before now. I'm really glad that I'm back here but seeing the Tentacula again I just…" Her throat clenched unexpectedly, and she had to swallow hard before she could continue. "I saw Svetlana dead, and I heard myself screaming, and I just panicked."

She could feel tears pricking at the corner of her eyes again, so sipped at her tea in hopes that it would settle the nerves that were creeping back up again. The honey-tasting liquid did make her feel a lot less shaky as she drank it, as if someone had draped a warm blanket over her on a cold day.

"I think that's neither surprising nor something to be ashamed of," Professor Merrythought said after waiting a moment to let Minerva pull herself back together. "What you went through was something truly awful that many witches three times your age would still struggle with. Grief and trauma are processes that I think you and I probably struggle quite similarly with in that they don't obey logic. We can tell ourselves that we should move on or that we have no reason to feel afraid again, but these feelings demand to be felt. All we can do is ride them through and keep reaching out to people. You may want to hide under your duvet for hours but at least let someone sit under there with you."

Her last words made Minerva think of how Ro had sat with her that night after Larry's birthday celebration, and she couldn't help but smile softly as she said "Ro's been really helpful with coping with grief."

Professor Merrythought nodded. "I thought she would be after what she's suffered," she agreed. After letting out an angry sigh she muttered "I hate thinking of what the children of your generation have been through. Too many parents gone too soon. I pray to Merlin that it never happens again." The anger in her face was replaced by a look of helplessness as she shook her head and lifted her mug to her lips; Minerva supposed that being a teacher and watching students lose their families had to have been unimaginably hard.

"I don't know what to do, Professor." The words were out of Minerva's mouth before she even fully realised it. "I just can't forget the fact that I nearly died. I'll see the smallest thing that triggers a memory, like today, and then I won't stop thinking about it. I'm so tired of not being able to sleep at night because I'm scared I'll wake up not being able to breathe. I know it's impossible but I just want things to go back to normal."

"I know, my dear," Professor Merrythought said, her face a mask of sympathy. "But I promise you that things will get better. Perhaps it won't be the normal you're used to, but neither was it after the Wars ended yet we still carried on. Now that you're back at school the routine will give you some stability back, and there are people around you who understand what you went through and can help you." She paused for a moment as a look of regret passed across her own face before she continued "Take it from an old woman who's lost more friends and fought more battles than I care to count; you will be alright."

It was far from the first time that Minerva had been told that since the third task. But there was something about the doubtless certainty in Professor Merrythought's promise that made her resolve finally crack, one hand moving to cover her mouth as tears started to fall.

Almost immediately she felt the mug being taken from her and a gentle grip pulling her to stand before comforting arms encircled her in a firm embrace. "It's ok to cry, I've got you," Professor Merrythought whispered in her ear. Minerva clung onto her tightly as she sobbed, feeling safe in the Professor's arms as she rubbed gentle circles into her shoulder.

"It'll be alright," she repeated softly. Held in the Professor's motherly embrace, Minerva could just about believe that it would.

Author's Note:

Exams are over and another chapter is here! It's an emotional rollercoaster but one I've really enjoyed writing for a lot of different reasons. And it marks a good start for sixth year which I'm really looking forward to cracking on with.

Minerva's ongoing recovery is still a big central focus of course, and with this chapter in her POV it's much more her internal thought process than Ro and Poppy's view on how she's doing externally. With her waning relationship with her family of course she jumped at the chance to be back with her friends where she can grieve in a safe environment. And we support one (1) Professor Merrythought here in this fic. She's a gem of a character as I know all of you agree and I've looked forward to writing that end scene for so long. She's really a motherly figure to her students and is a great influence and role model for Minerva and the rest of the girls.

Big focus number 2 is Irma. The big fight between Septima and Irma has finally happened, something that we've been building up to for a long long time. Oh my heart broke a little writing that. I can see where both of them are coming from to some extent since at the end of the day it's Septima's disbelief and fear that's causing her to react in anger, but she's guilty of refusing to believe Irma's account of what her father is like. And poor Millicent being caught between the two of them. I did like the contrast between this and the argument between Ro and Irma on the frozen lake since it's Ro defending Irma against Septima rather than Septima defending Irma against Ro. And the comment from Ro about how she brought a chandelier down for Poppy brought a smile to my face with how much it demonstrates the love for her friends.

The other favourite scene in this has to be the Amortentia one. Thinking of appropriate scents for each of the girls was really good fun. There will be no commentary other than this but please let me know your thoughts since I'm very curious!

With any luck my increased speed of updating will last a long time, since I seem to have rediscovered all my muse for this series that I still love so much. Until next time :)