PA2: Hello everybody! And welcome to the end of the Ares trilogy! And, not to brag too much, also my favorite chapter thus far!
MP: Personally, I preferred chapter 10, but this is pretty great. Lucky 13, huh?
PA2: Tell me about it. However, before we begin, a brief disclaimer. This chapter contains excessive (even for JCA) levels of violence, a not insubstantial amount of body horror, and gratuitous anime references. Specifically to one anime in particular; guess it right without looking it up and I will personally deliver hand-baked cookies to your house. Spiritually, I mean; can't spring for plane fare.
MP: We need to do extra clowning around for how serious this is gonna get, so please enjoy this ridiculous dance! *prances around in ways that are very difficult to describe in written form, combining ballet, tap, and Maori warrior tradition until grabbed by a vaudeville hook*
PA2: *holding vaudeville hook* And that's our cue. Enjoy! *walks offstage, dragging a still dancing MP*
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Jackie Chan Adventures: Olympian Journey
Chapter 13: The Myth of the Lost Cause
Ares's footsteps seemed to shake the earth as he marched forward on sandaled feet. He kept a steady rhythm, which seemed to be the only thing Eris wasn't enjoying about the situation. She clung to his shoulders, cackling with abandon as the Chans stared in horror. Her appearance had changed noticeably; her rat's nest of curls were now an oddly uniform gray, while her patchwork dress had transformed into a navy button-down shirt with matching pants. Even her skin had changed, becoming inhumanly pale and sickly. Noticing Jade staring at her, she waved at them, her nails now noticeably pointier.
"Hey kid! How do you like the new look?" Eris taunted, her voice slightly higher pitched and breathier.
"Well, if you want an honest opinion, then you went from 'freak' to 'superfreak'," Jade snarked. "And what's with the color palette? I didn't think you'd wear single-color clothes if your life depended on it."
"I used to be right there with you, but if it's for cosplay, I can put up with a little bit of bland in my wardrobe!" Eris replied, grinning widely. "It's too bad that brother dear wouldn't put on the trenchcoat; then we'd be matching!"
"Eris, while I am happy that you have found new hobbies in this foreign time, I feel that costume changes would be a waste of my time," Ares grumbled. "Especially when I have no idea who the costume is supposed to be."
"Eh, you'll change your tune after you spend some more time here!" Eris scoffed.
"I have no time for your Far Eastern entertainment!" Ares snapped, before schooling his features. "I apologize for screaming, sister, but my work will only be done when every nation is in conflict with its neighbors, and troops march across every patch of land the world over!"
Jade rolled her eyes. "Ugh, workaholic," she sighed.
"I know, right?" Eris added. "I mean, I love wanton destruction as much as the next god, but you gotta take a break sometime!"
Ares sighed. "How about this? We drench this country in blood, tear through these mortals like the chaff that they are. Then, when the ground has been salted with tears and planted with bones, then I will take time to see what you find so enjoyable about these diversions. Do we have an accord?"
"Now you're talking!" Eris cackled, rubbing her hands together. "You've got a deal!"
"This is the most surreal conversation I've ever seen," Jackie said, his mouth agape. Jade looked like she was about to reply, only to be distracted by the sound of chanting coming from next to her.
"Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora! Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora!" Uncle incanted, holding the chi-o-matic in one hand and a pork sausage in the other. While the gods were distracted by their conversation, the old wizard had managed to prepare the spell, and now had Ares squarely in his sights. Before anyone else could react, a green blast of energy emerged from the chi-o-matic, colliding with Ares's muscular chest.
"Yes!" Jade cheered, pumping her fists into the air. "Hold tight, Uncster! You've got him on the ropes!"
"Wait, something's wrong," Jackie warned. "They're not doing anything."
Indeed, neither Eris nor Ares had made any moves to negate or even avoid the power-sucking beam. Instead, the two just stood there, still chattering away as if nothing was happening. And indeed, nothing was. The beam failed to change in color, the force did not increase, and the containment jar failed to fill even slightly. After a few moments, the beam disappeared, leaving the sausage desiccated, and the chi-o-matic completely empty.
"Ai-yah! Exorcism spell had no effect!" Uncle shouted, throwing the now useless pork product to the ground.
"Of course it didn't," Ares chuckled. "That spell is one of Hecate's, correct? I can imagine it works perfectly well on mortals glutted with stolen power, but I am a god! Even if the flesh housing me was once ordinary, my mind and soul are complete once more. My power and I shall not be sundered again!"
"That makes no sense! It worked perfectly during the fall of Olympus!" Jackie protested, only for Eris to respond with a biting cackle.
"Oh, you mean when it was being run by a Titan, a Goddess, and a whole cavalcade of mortal sorcerers, while piggybacking on an apocalypse-level spell?" she asked sarcastically. "Face it, chumps; you just don't have enough juice!"
As the chi-o-matic stopped spinning, all three Chans took a step back, huddling together. "Um...excuse us a moment," Jade said, before turning to her uncle. "Jackie," she whispered, her voice for once dead serious, "you know it's bad when I think we're in over our heads. Can you keep him busy while I get us out of here?"
"I can try, but you're talking about leaving all of these people at his mercy!" Jackie whispered back. "If we run, there is no way they'll survive!"
"Trust me!" Jade begged. "I've got a plan, but we gotta hurry!"
Jackie nodded and stepped forward, taking a deep breath. He said nothing, but spread his legs and slouched low, curling his fingers into fists. Behind him, Uncle loaded another round into the cannon, and Jade did her best to dash off, pulling something from her pocket.
"The girl's getting away," Ares said, glancing over his shoulder at Hak Foo. "Take care of her."
"With pleasure," the chimeric henchman purred, his tail beating the ground in excitement. He vaulted over the Chans and raced after the youngest member of their team. Jackie was ready to turn and chase after them, but before he could move, he found himself stopped by a meaty hand on his shoulder.
"You won't catch them," Ares bragged, shaking his head. "Besides, I have plans for you. My sister tells me that you've been quite the thorn in her side-"
"-the gum on my shoe!" Eris added. "The mustard stain on my gown! The broken tab on my pudding can!"
"Yes, of course, all of those apply as well," Ares sighed, shaking his head. "But I prefer to think of you as a thorn. After all, those are oh so easy to take care of. All you have to do-" he continued, tightening his grip on Jackie's shoulder, "is tear them out."
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"Be careful, men," Captain Black warned, nodding to the task force behind him. "These spirits are unpredictable and holding our employees hostage. Now is not the time to go in half-cocked."
The four agents, dressed in identical jeans and jackets, nodded as they spread out through the hallways. They threw open every door as they advanced, scanning for the possessed individuals with tranq guns raised. After Captain Black's announcement, most of the relatively meager staff had congregated in the broadcast room, leaving the hallways eerily quiet.
Suddenly, there was a soft but noticeable buzz in the air, and a beam of light zoomed through a doorway. One of the agents, an older, balding man, dropped to the floor, hands on his side. His jacket was visibly burned.
"Sanderson!" Captain Black cried in surprise, whipping around. "Are you okay?"
"Ugh...I'm fine," he groaned, picking himself up. His tranq gun was held tightly in his off hand. "What the hell was that?"
"It looked a lot like a laser blast," answered one of the other agents, this one a relatively short woman with her hair in a ponytail. "Where did they get those? There's nothing like that in the armory!"
"No, there isn't," Captain Black grunted. "They must have gotten their hands on some experimental weapons!"
"Since when are we working on laser tech?!" snapped the third agent, a youngish man with bright blonde hair and a beakish nose.
"10 to 1 says it's from Kepler's lab," the woman with the ponytail sighed, shaking her head.
"That's not important. There's a bigger question," the fourth agent interjected. He was a tall black gentleman with broad shoulders and a goatee. "We've been standing here for a minute now; why haven't they kept firing?"
"These are old spirits; they might not fully know how to use whatever they have," Captain Black answered. "Let's hurry and find them before-" he continued, only to be interrupted by another laser blast shooting past, just missing the head of the blonde agent. "Take cover!"
"I may not be Apollo, but I won't miss twice!" Athena warned from a catwalk above them, Hephaestus crouching next to her. "Hand over our essences and start groveling, mortals!"
"Open fire!" Captain Black ordered, pointing up at the possessed Ratso and Chow, but before they could even take aim, more fire came from above. Hera emerged from the first doorway, hefting her weapon with a sneer.
"You should be careful about staring at the sky," the goddess taunted, hefting her weapon. "It makes you miss what's on the gro-hey!" she continued, only to be forced to dive out of the way of a tranq shot from the ponytailed woman.
"Enough with the monologuing!" she snapped as she adjusted her aim and fired two more shots. Hera dodged away from the first one, only to catch the second in the arm. "Got 'em!" she cheered.
"Good work, Tremaine!" Captain Black congratulated, giving the agent a thumbs-up.
Tremaine lunged for Finn's skinny frame as it began to falter, but the possessed man proved to be more resilient than she thought. Hera caught Tremaine by the arm and flipped her over her head, sprinting away. The others took aim, but were kept at bay by more laser shots. Captain Black and the three remaining agents took aim at Hephaestus above them, but he ducked below the railing of the catwalk, blowing them a raspberry as he did.
"Surrender the codes, human!" Zeus's voice boomed, echoing in the cavernous space. "These weapons far outmatch yours! The gods will soon have their resurgence!"
The agents, clustered together for safety, were bowled over as Tohru's massive frame flew out of a door and tackled them. He chuckled as he stomped on a couple of legs, causing loud cracks. Captain Black and Tremaine got to their feet as he rushed them again, but together they got him with two darts in the stomach. He wobbled and shook slightly, but didn't fall. The two agents took the opportunity to run for it.
"Damn it, we're getting slaughtered here!" Captain Black muttered as he sprinted. "What the heck was Hestia thinking?"
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"Let us see the strength of the one who has so antagonized my sister," Ares said with a smirk. He spread his arms wide and planted his spear in the ground. "Come at me, Chan. Show me the power of a man who would oppose a goddess."
Jackie stared back at the god. Everything about Ares oozed strength and testosterone. He had no doubt that the god could tear him in half given the opportunity. His only hope was to buy the others some time for a counterattack. He took a deep breath and charged, using all of his strength to deliver a roundhouse kick to Ares's side. Pain coursed up Jackie's entire leg, but Ares didn't even flinch.
"As I thought," the god taunted. "You miserable humans never did have the strength to match my kind. It was only with gimmicks and tricks that you ever stood a chance. I'm going to enjoy this."
Ares grabbed his spear and lunged at the archaeologist, going straight for his abdomen, but Jackie dodged sideways, then grabbed the spear and swung upward, wrapping both legs around the shaft. Ares grunted and slammed the spear down, but Jackie, with a cry of "Bad day!", sprung away, spinning on his ankle to give a one-two punch to Ares's gut. However, this turned out as completely ineffective as the roundhouse; Ares's body had all the give of solid marble. Ares laughed again as Jackie shook his hand to alleviate the pain.
"You can't avoid me forever!" Ares boomed as he swung a fist. Jackie danced away from it, behind the god's back. He tried a double-handed smash in between the shoulder blades, but fared no better than his last two attacks. "You're already running on fumes!" The god kicked out his leg behind him, and Jackie jumped on the leg and used it as a springboard, pressing off on the god's shoulder, past Eris, to land back in front of him. That turned out to be a mistake, as the God of War slammed his elbow directly into Jackie as he fell, sending the archaeologist skidding back.
"Jackie! Catch!" Uncle cried. Jackie held out his arms and grabbed a musket as it came flying at him. He held it up just in time to catch the head of Ares's spear on the bayonet. Ares twisted his weapon, and Jackie's wrists burned in agony, but the archaeologist hung on for dear life until the bayonet snapped off. Jackie was thrown, but dodged a roundhouse kick by jumping and doing the splits, then blocked another blow from the spear with the body of the musket. The strike was so powerful, the weapon snapped in half. The archaeologist didn't hesitate, twirling the two halves in his hands and slamming them against Ares's wrists. The god didn't react other than throwing a punch at Jackie's face, which Jackie only barely dodged, again striking at the god's arm with his makeshift weapons.
"Can't we talk about this?" Jackie asked as he backed away from Ares's attacks, dancing away like a deer.
"Yes, there's nothing a war god loves more than a good conversation," Ares drawled. He swiped his spear, and this time, the pieces of musket went flying. The god leered down at Jackie with a look that was all-too familiar. It was the same look that Shendu had given him every time the demon had faced him down. A murderous glare, coupled with smug superiority, as if this confrontation was less of a struggle and more of a matter of time. Jackie panted as he met the god's eyes, energy draining out of him. Ares chortled to himself and swatted Jackie in the ribs with the body of his spear, sending him reeling, but Jackie recovered by holding himself up by his right arm and repositioning himself with his legs, this time aiming a kick at Ares's ankles. The god still gave no indication of pain, and kicked Jackie to the ground.
"Finish him, already!" Eris ordered, a sick grin on her face, and a matching one on her stomach. "We've got a world to conquer!"
Ares grunted, but hefted his spear one more time. Seeing a gleam in the corner of his eye, Jackie grabbed the broken bayonet and stabbed it into Ares's calf. For once, the God of War reacted, howling in pain as golden ichor dripped out.
"Yes!" Uncle cheered. "You got him!"
"Yeah, I di-" Jackie began, only to be stopped short by an intense wave of fear washing over him. Choking on the air, he involuntarily scuttled back away from the god, who was glaring at him.
"Congratulations," Ares growled, his teeth gritted. "You have officially proven yourself worth actual effort."
"Oh...good…" Jackie groaned, still trying to catch his breath.
"Does that mean I can finally join in, brother?" Eris asked, her grin twisted against her unnaturally pale skin.
"Yes, sister," Ares replied, nodding. "But first, if you would?" he asked, gesturing towards his calf. Without a word, Eris waggled her fingers, whereupon said digits proceeded to extend and stretch like taffy. As Jackie and Uncle stared, horrified, Eris soon sewed Ares's wound shut, with her own fingers acting as the sutures. Looking over her work, Eris gave a satisfied smile and, shaping the fingers of her other hand into a pair of scissors, snipped off the extended appendages, which quickly regrew.
"There, all taken care of! And now, spear or shield?" she asked.
"Shield, I think. But keep yourself flexible; I want you to have as much fun with this mortal as I do," Ares answered, whereupon Eris crawled down the God of War's arm. With sickening cracks of bone and squelches of flesh, the Goddess of Discord contorted her entire body in ways too horrifying to describe, leaving Uncle struggling to keep from vomiting. In a matter of moments, a large shield the same color as Eris's altered flesh sat on Ares's free arm. "How do you feel?"
Before Jackie's terrified eyes, a mouth sprouted on the face of the shield. "Never better!" came Eris's voice, bright and chipper. "Now let's just see…" she continued, before the rim of the shield suddenly sprouted blades made of ossified bone. These blades then shot out on strands of tendon, slicing wildly around Ares's feet. As Jackie watched, the blades then transformed into needle-like spikes, pummeling maces, and a variety of other weapons, before retracting into the main body of the shield with a disgusting sound. "Now we're cooking!" Eris cheered, prompting a chuckle from Ares.
"Magnificent," he said proudly. "A formless weapon, perfect for the God of War. And as for you, Chan," the deity mused, a wicked grin on his face, "you deserve my respect. Let's see how you handle my favorite of the powers I consumed during my long imprisonment."
With a single flex, the god's muscles rapidly expanded, increasing his height and bulk by a noticeable amount. "Behold, the strength of Heracles! 20% of it, at least; any more and I might blow your body to pieces before I'm satisfied."
"Y...you're going to have to pay royalties for all of these references," Jackie said, gulping.
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't care. Besides, it hardly matters; you'll be nothing but a memory soon," Ares scoffed, reentering his fighting stance. "Now then, let's pick up where we left off, shall we?"
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"Nemean lion prowls savanna!" Hak Foo cried. Almost playfully, he followed Jade's serpentine path, taunting his target.
"Man, it's hard to text while running!" Jade panted as she dodged another of the abomination's strikes. Her eyes flashed back and forth between the battlefield and her phone as she tapped out a desperate message. Calling wasn't an option. She'd never be heard over the din of the battle. As it was, she could barely avoid the bloodthirsty reenactors, bringing history to life in an all-too literal way.
Finally, she hit the send button and tucked her phone away, rolling on her side to avoid Hak Foo as he lunged. Her target was nearby, but she'd have to run for it, and on her bruised feet, no less. She looked back at the "soldiers" and nodded. Time for a change of strategy.
"Hey, Hak Foo," she taunted, turning around just for a second. "What's it like being Eris's lapdog? Does she put little sweaters on you and call you her baby?"
Hak Foo didn't reply in words. He just roared and displayed his snake-tongues, taking a swipe with his lobster claw as he did. Jade jumped and dodged just in time, and steered herself into a nearby cluster of reenactors. She rolled underneath them as they fired at each other, and Hak Foo paused, watching for just a moment as more shots were fired. The thug had much more trouble passing through the cluster, watching Jade find small spaces that would never fit him, but he elbowed and clawed at anybody in his way with a cry of "Minotaur storms through maze!"
As Jade crossed over from well-trimmed grass to sandy beach, Hak Foo hot in her trail, she focused her eyes on a tall structure close by. It was a steel lookout tower, and Jade quickly scrambled towards it. As she reached the base, she blanched; the tower may have had a built-in ladder, but it was also over sixty feet high, and Hak Foo was practically right behind her.
"Still, not like I have much of a choice," she muttered, before swinging a foot onto the ladder and starting to climb up, taking the rungs two at a time.
Unfortunately, when she was only about five feet up, Hak Foo arrived at the base of the tower. With a cry of "Pegasus takes flight!" he jumped straight up, aiming his mismatched claws at her. Desperately, Jade freed her legs from a rung and pressed off on the top of his antler, narrowly avoiding the claws and using the momentum to hurl herself even higher. With the added boost, she scrambled up to the platform on top, designed to keep a lookout for incoming ships. Her gaze was focused in another direction, though.
As Hak Foo made his way up, she dug through her backpack for anything that could help. Her hands settled on her notebook, the one meant for her report on the battle. It was as good of a weapon as she could hope for. When the thug's head popped over the ledge, she made a flying leap and slapped the notebook across his face. Hak Foo, his cheek stinging, seized the notebook in his teeth and shook his head, shredding it.
"Man, they're never gonna believe a monster ate my homework!" Jade complained. She started bashing the thug with her backpack, but Hak Foo remained unfazed. He climbed his way onto the platform and leered down at Jade, purring contentedly before lunging at the girl.
Jade fell back on her behind, scooting backwards across the narrow platform. Over the heavy sound of breathing, she thought she could make out a faint sound, growing closer and closer. Just a few more seconds!, she thought as she dodged away from a claw strike. She rolled and ducked, her breath draining out of her as exhaustion began to set in. She couldn't do this much longer, but help was coming.
By now, the sound was loud enough that she was amazed that Hak Foo couldn't hear it, but instead kept coming after her with ruthless determination. Man, this guy has serious tunnel vision! Tunnel hearing?, she thought, only to be interrupted as her back pressed against the metal railing. She was out of room, and Hak Foo was inches away from her.
"Nowhere to run," the chimeric man taunted as he loomed over her, his claws glistening in the blood-red sunlight However, just as he pounced, Jade slipped out of her hoodie and dove between his legs.
"Hey, it worked this time!" Jade laughed. "Gotta remember how I did that!" Straightening up behind Hak Foo, she proceeded to snatch up the hoodie and wave it in the air with big sweeping arm movements.
"Who could you possibly be signalling? There's no one-" the Black Tiger said, only to blink as he finally noticed the sound that had been growing closer and closer the entire time; the whirling of propeller blades. Before he could react, he was unceremoniously slammed into by the arriving helicopter, a very confused but very determined Section 13 agent at the controls. The impact sent Hak Foo careening off the tower and into the distance.
"See ya later, Moreau," Jade chuckled and grabbed onto a rope ladder as it was dropped down to her. With the last of her strength, she made her way inside of the chopper, collapsing onto the back seat. "Thanks for the save!" she told the pilot.
"No problem," the pilot replied. "Also, you do realize that Moreau was the doctor? And that he made animals into people, not the other-"
"I didn't read the book, okay?" Jade snapped. "Just hurry up and take me to the others! We need to get out of here!"
"Okay, okay!" the pilot said, as he lifted higher into the air. "So much for that course in Gothic literature," he muttered.
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A crack reverberated through the air above the chaotic noise of the battlefield, and Prometheus spun and ducked to avoid Vanessa's whip. He slid on his heels to kick her in the stomach, then picked her up over his head and threw her at Zhixin, then smirked and reached behind him. He grabbed the sneaky Origami, currently in the form of a gazelle, and squished the thief's paper head between his hands. "News flash, Kasahara," he taunted. "Crinkly paper isn't the best for sneaking." He lifted the thief and spun around to use him as a shield to block one of Zhixin's blasts, and was sent skidding back.
Despite his successes, Prometheus was beginning to doubt himself. He could feel his abdomen aching, flashing back to the pain of having his liver torn out each day, but he suppressed the feeling and kicked Kasahara away, front-flipping toward Vanessa. The relic hunter teleported out of his way, but Prometheus pushed off with his hands and flew toward her new location, stomping her skull.
"How can he be this tough?" Kasahara demanded, folding into a gorilla, but keeping his human head. "Eris said she drained his powers!"
"Millennia of experience!" Prometheus huffed. He sprinted over, dodging more of Zhixin's blasts, and slammed his palm into the monk's face, pushing him into the hard dirt. Kasahara threw a punch, but the Titan, panting heavily, socked him in the face.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin wheezed from the ground. Despite his bruises, he was smiling. "Pretend inferiority, and encourage arrogance."
"Wait, what?" Prometheus panted. Suddenly, the world was yanked out from under Prometheus as Vanessa snagged his ankle with her whip, dragging him over to her. The Titan groaned in pain and humiliation. Yet another woman proving herself unpredictable! He'd been a fool not to take out the wiliest of the trio first…
"This is even better than defeating Chan!" Vanessa bragged. "Once we bring back your head, we're sure to get a major reward from the boss!"
"I commend your opportunistic nature, madam," Prometheus said, shaking his head as a loud noise filled the air. "But you underestimate me. My reinforcements are arriving as we speak."
The helicopter swooped down on the Agents of Chaos, and Prometheus covered his mouth as Jade threw down a canister. Thick, opaque smoke covered the immediate area, and while the Agents dissolved into coughing fits, Prometheus got to his feet and groped for the rope ladder. He seized it and tugged, and the aircraft lifted him up and away as he climbed aboard.
"Thanks for the lift, kid," Prometheus said as he took a seat. "I knew you'd find me quickly if I stayed close to the lookout tower. Now, let's go get your uncle before he gets himself impaled."
"You heard him, Darrow!" Jade told the pilot, pointing a finger. "Take us that way!"
"Roger!" the pilot replied. He gripped the yoke and turned away from the still expanding cloud of smoke, heading farther down the battlefield under the blood red sky.
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Captain Black and Tremaine stopped and clutched their sides as they collapsed by a wall. "Think we lost them?" Tremaine asked, panting heavily.
"For now," Captain Black told her, still scowling. "But we need to stop them for good, and I'm not exactly an exorcist. This is more Uncle's territory."
"Why do you call him that? He's not even your-" Tremaine asked, only for Captain Black to glare at her.
"Believe me when I say, you don't want to know. Anyway, second up is Tohru, but I think it's pretty clear he's out of commission."
"What about Hestia?" Tremaine asked, giving him a side-eye.
At the mention of her name, Captain Black's cheeks flushed, only for his eyes to harden. "Honestly, I don't think she'd help," he said, curling his fingers into fists. "After all, she's the reason these ghosts are here in the first place."
"Right, and this has nothing to do with not wanting to confront your crush," Tremaine teased, staring Captain Black in the eye. "Look, if she got us into this mess, then I think she's divinely obligated to get us out of it."
"And if that means condemning her family to death, again?" Captain Black countered. "If we ask her to do that, then that might be what tips her completely over the edge."
"Those are all good points. None of them change the fact that she is literally the only being in this base right now who can actually help us," Tremaine argued. "We'll just have to take the chance. Now, do you know where she is?"
Captain Black stared right back at her, but Tremaine wouldn't waver. Finally, he lowered his head and sighed. "Last I saw her was in the vault," he said. "But I really don't want to head back there. We'd be leading those ghosts right back to what they want."
"That's okay," Tremaine said with a smile. "I can think of another place to find her."
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"I must admit that I'm impressed, Chan," Ares said, his tone calm. "I haven't been this pushed against a mortal since Diomedes, and he had Athena to assist him. You truly are exceptional."
Jackie didn't reply...mainly because Ares's hand was currently wrapped around his throat. The martial artist was dangling in midair, held aloft effortlessly in the God of War's fierce grip. His hands were batting away at Ares's fingers, but to no avail.
"Eh, he's alright, I guess," Eris replied, still in the form of a shield, albeit one of a different design than before. "But he was no match for our dual tech!"
"I still do not understand what that means," Ares chuckled, nodding at Eris. "Has language changed that much in my time away? But you were most helpful, sister. If I hadn't let you take the lead, there wouldn't be enough of the man left to play with."
Jackie managed to gulp audibly, despite the grip on his throat. Indeed, as damaged as he was, it could have been far worse; quite frankly, Ares's restraint was the only reason he was still alive. While his body was covered by an array of wounds left by Eris and her ever-changing form, they hurt far less than the gargantuan bruises left by Ares's few blows.
Uncle was no help, either. The moment he'd tried to fire a spell, Ares had given him an open-handed blow to the rib cage that had toppled the old wizard on the spot. Uncle stayed down, groaning in pain, his blowfish thrown halfway across Fort Fisher.
Jackie continued his hopeless struggle in the God of War's grip, only to stop as the deity unceremoniously dropped him onto the ground. Before he could react, however, Ares quickly brought his foot down on Jackie's knee, causing the archaeologist to scream in pain.
"Well, I've certainly had my fun," Ares said calmly, adjusting his grip on his spear. "But now, it's time to...what is that sound?" he asked, his expression shifting to one of confusion. Indeed, there was a strange sound in the air, one that was steadily growing louder.
As Eris opened her mouth to answer, an oversized ear growing on the face of her shield form, she was suddenly drowned out completely as the source of the sound became clear: helicopter blades. The vessel in question soon swooped down, crashing directly into Ares and bowling him over. As Ares tumbled head over heels, Jade and Prometheus jumped out and ran over to Uncle and Jackie, respectively.
"Next time, do not cut it so close!" Uncle wheezed as Jade helped him to his feet. He tried to give her a two-fingered smack, but his arm dropped halfway into it.
Jade rolled her eyes. "Sure thing, Uncster. Now let's get out of here while we still can!"
"Do you have a way to drain the essence?" Jackie managed to ask, leaning his weight onto the Titan of Forethought.
Prometheus shook his head. "Not yet," he admitted. "Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how in Tartarus he actually came back. But right now, we need to retreat. We can't save the world if we're all dead."
Jackie nodded as the group struggled back to the whirlybird. They were so focused on their escape, they didn't even notice as Ares pushed himself to his feet beside it. He angrily dusted off his armor and lifted Eris, still in shield form, off of the ground.
"Ugh!" Eris groaned, spitting rocks out of her mouth. "I hate it when the calvary shows up!"
"Complain later! They're getting away!" Ares snapped, gesturing at the group. The Chans were currently halfway up the rope ladder, Jackie hanging off of Prometheus's back.
"Not for long!" Eris said cheerfully, before an arm unfolded from the rim of the shield. The disturbingly long and spindly appendage, complete with razor-sharp fingertips, suddenly shot through the air on a direct course to Jackie's lower back.
However, just before it could connect, Prometheus suddenly swung down a knife-edged hand, snapping the arm's bone with barely a hint of resistance. As Eris screamed in pain, Jackie turned his head and stared at the retracting arm, blanching as he realized what he had just avoided.
"I told you!" Prometheus said smugly as he made his way to the top of the ladder. "Only a 30% chance!"
Jackie sighed as the group retreated into the vehicle, all flopping down to relax, but Jade tensed up as she stared out the window. "Uh, guys?" she told them, pointing down. "We got trouble!"
Eris and Ares hadn't stayed ground-bound for long. Eris's chariot was already down there, pulled by her team of storm spirits. What's more, while Eris has resumed her humanoid form, Ares had bulked up even further; the god was now eight feet tall and so densely packed with muscle that it was almost grotesque. With a tug of the reins, Eris launched her vessel into the air.
"What's wrong with him?" Jade asked, staring at the God of War with disgust. "He looks like a veiny gorilla with roid rage!"
"It's the power of Heracles!" Prometheus answered. "But something's wrong with the integration; it shouldn't be causing such bodily distortion!"
"In English, please!" Jade snapped, rolling her eyes. The ground was whizzing away beneath them. Acres of farmland flew past.
"If the power were working properly, then Ares wouldn't be looking like that!" Prometheus clarified. "That means that there's something wrong with him!"
"And how does that help?!" Uncle shouted, pushing himself to his feet. "Doesn't seem like war god is any less violent!"
"Oh, no, he's much worse now," Prometheus said with a shrug. "But the power is off-balance. If we're lucky-and I mean very, very lucky-he might wear himself out from within."
"You mean the power might go away on its own?" Jackie asked hopefully.
"No, he just might lose consciousness for a while. Or explode. Hard to predict when it comes to powers of the universe. But either way, it'll get him out of our hair long enough to figure out how to deal with Ares literally coming back from the dead."
"And what are the odds of him killing us before we even get that far?" the pilot asked, his voice quivering with fear.
"About 60%," Prometheus said bluntly, only to blanch as Ares's spear suddenly punctured a hole in the side of the plane. "Make that 80."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Captain Black gasped and moaned as he swung open the heavy door to the boiler room, then collapsed onto one of the pillows that decorated the floor. Tremaine came right after, also moaning in discomfort.
"Why does she keep it so hot in here?" Captain Black complained as he fanned himself with his hands. "I know it's a boiler room, but I think she actually made it more humid!"
"Hearth goddess reasons, I guess?" Tremaine said, shrugging. "But that's not important right now. What's important is that we're here."
"No, what's important is that we get Hestia here," Captain Black replied. "So how do you suggest we do that?"
"Well, considering that she's turned the place into a temple…" Tremaine mused, "we could try the obvious?"
Captain Black raised an eyebrow. "You do know I'm agnostic, right?" he asked. "There's a difference between knowing something exists and seeing it as worthy of worship."
"Might not want to say that in here," Tremaine muttered. "But whatever, I'm Neopagan; I can pick up the slack." She dug through her pockets and pulled out some change, then set it down next to the statue of the goddess. "Hestia, I leave you this offering. I know it's not much, but please help us."
"She's an ancient goddess, not a parking meter!" Captain Black snapped, before sighing. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"If you have something better to try offering, then I'll take that in lieu of an apology," Tremaine replied, before growing thoughtful. "Actually, maybe an offering from you is just what we need…"
Captain Black blushed again, shaking his head in flustered silence, but Tremaine pressed on. "I've seen her around you, you know. I don't think it's as one-sided as you fear. Come on, what are you so afraid of?"
"You mean apart from the fact that I'm attracted to a literal goddess? I've done my research; human/divine relationships rarely end too well for the former," Captain Black argued.
"There's a first time for everything," Tremaine said, smiling. "Besides, I've never known you to back down from a challenge."
"You've only been here for seven months," Captain Black muttered, but he was smiling in spite of himself. He shook his head and turned to the statue. "Hestia," he began, still blushing. "For my offering...well, it's been a few months now, so how about I take you to dinner sometime? You know, as a…" he gulped. "A date?"
"You miserable cretin!" came a familiar voice from just outside the boiler room doors. Before either of the agents could do more than turn, the doors in question were slammed open by a charging Zeus, who proceeded to tackle Captain Black to the floor. "How dare you proposition my sister? You would dare to lay your uncouth hands upon a goddess of Olympus?!"
"Captain!" Tremaine shouted as she reached for her tranq gun, only to be halted by the feeling of a barrel being pressed against the back of her neck. "I wouldn't if I were you," said Hera, snide as ever. "It wouldn't do for a pretty young thing like you to be short a head."
"Wow, the Goddess of Marriage flirting? Now I've seen everything," Tremaine muttered, only to wince as Hera slammed the butt of the gun against the side of her head.
"Silence, worm!" the goddess hissed, before craning her neck back to look at the door. "And will you two get in here already?!"
"Sorry, Mother. Just wanted to make sure we had everyone secured," Hephaestus said, striding in with Athena. The Goddess of Wisdom was currently dragging the unconscious bodies of Sanderson and the other two agents behind her, the three unconscious task force members tied together with a mesh net.
"Now, let's try this one more time," Hera said, pressing the barrel of her gun directly into Tremaine's skull. "How do we unlock our essences? Tell us and I might just be lenient."
"Sorry, but vault codes are above my pay grade," Tremaine replied, earning herself another smack from Hera's weapon.
"Shut up, you brat!" Hera snapped, Finn's face contorted into a twisted expression. As she fought through the pain, Tremaine noticed similar expressions on the faces of the other possessed victims.
"What's wrong with you? For a bunch of thugs with weapons and hostages, you're looking pretty spooked," Tremaine said, wincing as a trickle of sweat ran over the bruises from Hera's blows.
"How many times do I have to-" Hera started to say, only to clamp a hand over her mouth as her voice took on a distinctive wheezy tone. A very familiar one, at that.
Pressed up against the wall by Zeus's bulk, Captain Black's eyes widened in realization. "That's it, isn't it?" he asked, only to groan as Zeus increased the pressure on him.
"Choose your next words carefully, mortal," Zeus growled, only for Captain Black to laugh.
"Or what? What are you going to do in a body that's already escaping you?" he taunted. "That's why you're so desperate right now! Without those powers in your possession, you four are just a bunch of millennia-old ghosts, trying to hold on to bodies that keep fighting back! How much more do you think you can push it before you just break down altogether?"
"Long enough to do what must be done," Athena snapped, pressing her own gun to the side of Sanderson's head. "So here's the deal, Captain. Tell us how to get into the vault, or we will kill everyone in this base, starting with these four!"
"Don't do it, Cap! They're bluffing!" Tremaine shouted, only to get a third smack from Hera's weapon. By this point, the woman was nearly unconscious.
"Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you?!" the queen of the gods raved. "Your pathetic leader is right; it's getting harder and harder to keep these vessels from rebelling. But you know what that means? We have nothing to lose!"
"If you pull that trigger, I'll-" Captain Black yelled, only to choke as Zeus tightened his grip.
"You'll do absolutely nothing," Hephaestus said, pointing his weapon at Captain Black's head. "After all, weak or not, we have more than enough time and strength left to kill you lot."
"Well, Captain? You have to the count of three before we start taking heads!" Athena laughed, flexing her trigger finger. "One!"
"Captain, seriously, don't listen to them," Tremaine said weakly, fighting to stay awake.
"Two!" Hera added, grabbing Tremaine's hair and lifting her head up slightly.
Captain Black stared in horror, sweat dripping down his face. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly as he went limp in Zeus's grasp.
"Thr-" Zeus began, only to be interrupted when Tremaine's eyes, glassy and nearly shut, suddenly shot wide open. She snapped her head forward and then back at high speed, nearly breaking Finn's beakish nose. She spun around to face the other gods, revealing a pair of very familiar burning red eyes.
"What the?!" Hephaestus gasped, involuntarily taking a step back.
"Impossible!" Athena shouted, nearly dropping her weapon.
"Sister?" Hera moaned, both hands over her crumpled and bleeding nose.
"HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MY HEARTH?" Hestia's voice boomed out of Tremaine's mouth, the sheer anger in her tone nearly setting the air ablaze. The bodies of the Enforcers were blown back by the incredible volume alone, while Tohru's body sank to its knees, releasing its hold on Captain Black. "Is it not enough that you break all rules of guest right and hospitality? You dare attempt to spill innocent blood in my place of worship?!"
"Sister, please, restrain yourself!" Zeus demanded, although his tone of voice made it sound much more like begging. "I have never seen you like this!"
"I have changed in your time away, brother!" Hestia shot back. "The sanctity of the home has grown more important to me than ever before, and I shall fight for what matters!"
"We do only what is necessary to restore ourselves, and avenge the wrongs done to us!" Athena argued, attempting to rise to her feet. "Surely you can understand that!"
"Oh, I understand. I understand more than you could ever imagine, child," Hestia hissed, glaring straight through the Goddess of Wisdom. "I understand what a fool I was for ever attempting to call you. And," she continued, her voice growing somewhat softer, "what a fool I was for believing that my family had returned to me."
"What are you babbling about?" Hephaestus asked, his eyes shut behind Chow's orange-tinted shades. "We are standing right here! The Gods of Olympus, alive once more!"
"No you are not," Hestia said simply, her tone one of grim finality. "No matter how cruel my family was, how desperate they would be, they would never break the oaths that I myself set into place. Zeus committed many atrocities in his life, but violating the laws of hospitality is the one thing that he would never do. And who among the gods would dare do what their king would not?"
The four spirits stared back at her, mouths agape as they tried to find a rebuttal. Hestia just sighed and continued. "You aren't spirits at all, are you? You're just echoes. I didn't call you here; I created you out of my will to see my family once more. And now I see that that was a terrible mistake, one that nearly cost the lives of these brave men and women. Thankfully, it is a mistake that I can rectify."
"Huh?" was all Hera had time to say before she found herself grappled by a strong pair of arms. Twisting her head, she found herself in Sanderson's grip, the agent's eyes glowing a bright red. Athena and Hephaestus were similarly restrained, while the net that had bound the task force lay in embers on the ground.
"Hestia, what are you doing?!" Zeus shouted as he pushed himself to his feet, only to find himself encircled by a ring of flames, preventing him from charging forward.
"Ending this nonsense!" Hestia shouted, before bringing Tremaine's hands together in front of her body. "By my power as Goddess of the Hearth, I hereby order you unwelcome guests...begone!"
With a clap of her hands, a wave of pure heat swept throughout the room, slamming into each one of the possessed victims. With screams of agony, four dimly colored specters flew out from their bodies, only to dissolve the moment they hit the air. As the Enforcers and Tohru collapsed to the ground, the wave radiated outward, passing through Captain Black before seeming to fade away.
"Hmph. Good riddance to bad rubbish," Hestia sniffed, dusting off Tremaine's hands before turning to the still stunned leader of Section 13. "As to your 'offering', I'd rather respond to that in the flesh, if you don't mind waiting."
"Uh...sure thing," Captain Black gasped, his mouth hanging open.
"Excellent. Now, if you'll excuse me...I have some reflecting I need to do," Hestia said sadly, before the red light faded from the eyes of Tremaine and the other agents. The Enforcers and task force members, their bodies glowing with healing magic, gently dropped to the ground, their eyes closed in peaceful slumber. Unfortunately, that was immediately followed by Tohru sleepily pulling one of the tranq darts out of his stomach, stumbling backwards with a yawn, and collapsing on top of Finn, Chow, and Ratso.
"Whoa, nelly," Captain Black muttered to himself with a shake of his head. "What a day."
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
"Keep going, keep going!" Eris urged her storm spirits, in between maniacal laughter. The chariot was flailing more than usual, fishtailing behind the steeds as the helicopter tried to shake them off. However, that was completely natural with no hands on the reins. Eris had once more transformed and twisted her body, this time into a weapons rack, and Ares was putting his enhanced musculature to good use by tossing spear after spear at the helicopter. The weapons dissolved into mist a few moments after being thrown, but the chassis of the helicopter was still littered with holes from where the spears had torn through the metal. "You can run, but you can't escape!"
"Does she think we can hear her?" Jade cried, trying to be heard over the helicopter's blades as she stared at the threat behind them.
"Uncle doesn't think she cares!" Uncle replied, frantically mixing together ingredients.
"How is she doing this?" Jackie asked Prometheus. "She's so powerful, and she hasn't even absorbed the essence!"
"It's Ares," Prometheus growled, shaking his head. "Those two always brought out the absolute worst in each other! They've created something like a feedback loop; he feeds her essence, she uses it to help him out, he gets more powerful and gives her more essence, rinse and repeat. She's not as strong as she would be if she absorbed the power herself, but…"
"But having Ares as her pinch hitter means it doesn't really matter," Jade muttered. "Why do the bad guys get all the cool tricks?"
"Says the Amazing T-Girl," Jackie chuckled, patting Jade on the back, only to topple over as the helicopter took another blow.
"We're not gonna hold out much longer!" the pilot cried. The chopper whipped to the side again, and the entire group was pinned to their seats as another projectile struck the outside.
"How's it going, Uncster?" Jade asked, looking over at the old wizard.
"Ai-yah!" Uncle screamed as the whirlybird took another hit. The potion ingredients spilled all over his lap, and he swatted them off as best he could, his face turning pink. "Uncle cannot work like this! Stuck mixing lousy ingredients in metal deathtrap with all this noise! You want Uncle to prepare spell? Yes? THEN GIVE UNCLE SOME PEACE!"
"We get it, you loon!" Prometheus snapped, glaring at Uncle. "Just be careful! I only had one extra sausage!"
Just then, the entire helicopter shook once more, although this one was much more violent. Looking out the window, Jackie blanched when he saw smoke coming from the side. "What was that?" he gasped.
"They just took out the engine!" the pilot shouted. "If we don't land now, there won't be anything left of us when we do!"
Jackie, Jade, and Uncle let out simultaneous screams as they tightened their safety belts and tried to make themselves small. Even inside the chopper, they could feel the rush of wind as they made an immediate and sharp descent. Uncle's potion was sent flying all over the cabin, much of it splattering in Jade's hair.
Outside the window, they could see signs of a city. Had they really traveled that far from Fort Fisher in only a few minutes? The helicopter's chassis let out whines of protest from the strain as the pilot gripped the yoke like a rope out of the abyss, leveling off at the last minute and, if there were such a thing, lightly crashing down in one lane of a city street. People stopped and gaped at the sight of it, and cars honked and swerved around them as the Chans let out a big group sigh.
Meanwhile, up in the air, Eris chortled as she saw the Chans disembarking from their downed whirlybird. "We got 'em!" she cheered, shifting back to humanoid form and jumping onto Ares's shoulder. "Come on, come on! They're chickens ready for plucking!"
"Well put, sister. It is finally time to rid ours-" he began, only to stop short. In a heartbeat, the over-muscled god's body went completely stiff. From her perch, Eris could feel as even his throbbing veins stopped pumping; the God of War had practically turned into a statue.
"Hey bro, what's wrong?" she asked, poking him in the face. "You okay?" It was then that she felt it; a simmering wave of heat sweeping through her entire body, heat tinged with a very familiar divine power. And as she looked over at her storm spirits, she saw that they could feel it too. "Oh no…."
At that very moment, the spirits vanished, their windy bodies temporarily disrupted, leaving the chariot bereft of any suspension. It hung in the air for a moment before plummeting to the ground, Eris letting out an eardrum-destroying shriek as Ares remained frozen in place.
Back on the ground, Prometheus gave a shudder as he felt the heat wash over him. "Hestia," he muttered, his brow furrowed in thought. "What the Tartarus were you getting up to back there?"
"Hit the deck!" Jade shouted, interrupting his train of thought and shoving him to the ground. Seconds later, the falling chariot whipped right through where his head had been, tearing through the remains of the helicopter and slamming into the asphalt with a tremendous crash.
"...the Captain's going to kill me," the pilot said, staring at the metallic wreckage that once was an extremely expensive aircraft.
Jackie lay a hand on his shoulder in sympathy and held Jade close with the other arm, but his eyes were focused on the chariot. Surprisingly, the vehicle was unscathed from its rough landing, although he couldn't see either of the deities who had been riding it. "What just happened?" he asked.
"It was Hestia," Prometheus repeated, stroking his beard. "I'm not sure what, but something she did sent out a huge wave of magic, one that was anti-divine in nature. It dispersed Eris's anemoi thuellai; with them gone, there was nothing keeping that chariot floating."
"Tch, duh!"Jade snapped. "But who cares about that?! What about Eris?"
"I don't know! Why do you think I'm focusing on minutia?" Prometheus growled back, before turning to Uncle. "All I know is that you need to hurry up and fix that potion before they show up-"
"Ares!" came a familiar voice. The sound was coming from right behind the group, and the Chans quickly whipped around to find its source. What they saw, however, was absolutely horrifying.
Eris, her body covered with scrapes and scratches, was bent nearly double over an immobile Ares, tears pouring from her mismatched eyes. The God of War had certainly seen better days; his skin and hair had turned ashen gray, and he lay completely still, his face twisted in an expression of pain. What's more, his oversized muscles had cracked and fractured like porcelain, with some cracks revealing glimpses of glowing golden organs, while others just showed hollow emptiness. The effect left Ares looking halfway between a shattered statue and an anatomical dummy.
"What the...?" Jackie gasped, his hand reflexively coming up to cover Jade's eyes. His niece, for once, did not complain; she had actually winced and looked away as soon as she'd gotten a glimpse of Ares's body.
"I'm gonna be sick," the pilot moaned, putting his hands over his mouth and trying not to retch.
"Ares! Say something, you lug!" Eris screamed, pounding her fists on Ares's damaged pectorals. "Come on, you've taken tougher than this! Wake up!"
"Ugh…" Ares groaned, his eyes squeezing shut. "It hurts…"
"Don't worry, bro, I'll...I'll fix you right up!" Eris said, extending out her fingers and beginning to stitch up the hole in Ares's flesh. However, she stopped short when she saw Ares shake his head.
"It wouldn't do any good, sister," he sighed. "Look at me...I'm falling apart."
Indeed, the God of War's wounds were getting worse every moment; the cracks were spreading faster than she could sew them up. What was more, the wounds were starting to leak a strange blood red energy, one similar to and yet distinctly different from his essence.
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!" Eris screeched back. "YOU'RE IMMORTAL! YOU CAN'T…" she stifled a sob. "You can't leave me like this!"
"Eris…" Ares said softly, softer than the Chans had thought it possible he could speak. "I'm sorry...but you know that there's nothing I can do. Look at me. I can't even hold myself together. Whatever that power was, it's pushing me out. I can't even be sure if I was ever really me…"
"Who cares about that existential crap?!" Eris snapped, her appearance growing more and more disheveled. "You are Ares, God of War! It doesn't matter what brought you back; you're here! And I'm not letting you go again!"
"Ready the spell, old man!" Prometheus hissed, leaning over to Uncle. "Quickly!"
"My dear sister," Ares said, casting his eyes skyward. Every breath was a battle, and even the God of War didn't seem up to fighting much longer. "You know...what you need...to do. I want you...to claim my power now. If you wait any longer...you may never get the chance."
"Are you insane?!" Eris yelled, now practically blinded by her tears. She sprouted an extra set of eyes on her cheeks, but they began to tear up as well. "That power is what's holding you together! If I take it-"
"I'm dying anyway!" Ares snapped, before launching into a series of hacking coughs. Each one caused more and more of his body to shatter and dissolve. "Eris...please…" he whispered, his face twisted with strain. "If you take them...I live on…"
"...I love you, big bro," Eris sobbed, bending over and kissing Ares's cheek.
"And I you, sister," the God of War replied, smiling slightly. "Now...put an end to this."
"Now, Uncle!" Jade shouted. Uncle nodded and pulled out the chi-o-matic, dunking the sausage in the spell's mixture. Desperately, he chanted, "Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora! Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora!"
Meanwhile, Eris dug her fingers into Ares's wounds and screamed, the sound echoing across the highway. A blood-red aura began to seep out of his broken form like a mist, hovering in midair, twisting first toward Eris, then toward Uncle, and back and forth between them.
All the while, Uncle kept chanting, the chi-o-matic glowing a bright green. "Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora! Theía Dýnami, Afíste Grígora!" he continued, his chants growing more and more intense. However, before the chi-o-matic could fire, the mist suddenly twisted into the shape of Ares's face, glaring at the old man.
"You shall not stifle the flames of war!" it shouted, before turning in midair and colliding with Eris's body, engulfing her in a wash of scarlet. As it settled into her, it continued to chuckle, its voice fading with one last request.
"Finish what we started so long ago, sister. Remind these humans of the strength of the gods!"
"I will, brother," Eris whispered as she stood up, the crimson energy soaking into her body. At her feet, Ares's body dissolved completely, leaving behind a mangled corpse, twisted and broken in horrifying ways. However, even through the damage, the face was still clearly discernible: that of Colton Pennypacker III.
At the sight of this, the pilot finally succumbed to nausea, doubling over in the wreckage of his helicopter and vomiting. A pulse could be felt going out from the goddess, and cars all around them began to honk and rev their engines. Jackie, meanwhile, stared in horror. "Eris...what have you done…?" he asked, horrified.
"For once, nothing," the Goddess of Discord growled, casting a disdainful glance at the body. "I guess human bodies really can't take the strain of hosting a god fully, in power and in mind. Of course, it doesn't help when they're flung out of a flying chariot at terminal velocity, especially after having their muscles bulked to the breaking point. Not that I wouldn't have killed him; the idea of having to exchange my beloved brother for this thing?!" she snapped, kicking Colton's head. The force of the blow caused the body's neck to snap, almost tearing his head clean off. "Whoops...guess I don't know my own strength," she said, a sick grin coming over her face.
"Uncle, can you drain it out of her?" Jade asked, her eyes still shut.
Uncle shook his head. "Getting power out of mortal host is one thing," he muttered, sweating bullets. "Getting it out of god will take much stronger spell!"
"Music to my ears," Eris chuckled, straightening up fully and confidently walking into the road towards the Chans, her eyes focused exclusively on her targets. "Though my idea of music is also atonal screaming. Speaking of, any final words before we start with the slaughter?"
"Um...always look both ways?" Jade said, peeking out of one eye.
Eris blinked in confusion. "What's that supposed to-" she started, only to be cut off when a car slammed into her, the eyes of its driver glowing bright red from Ares's influence. The vehicle's front crumpled in on itself upon connecting with the goddess, but Eris had no time to react before a second car slammed into the back of the first, pushing her further down the road. All of the angry drivers held up by the previous crashes seemed to have finally lost all patience, zooming forward with nary a care, piling up higher and higher.
"Time to run!" Jackie shouted, only to pause when he saw Prometheus grab the chi-o-matic from Uncle's hands and point it in Eris's direction. "Prometheus, what are you doing?"
"Buying us time!" the Titan shouted, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small knife. "I really wish I didn't have to do this," he muttered, before flipping the knife around and slicing off his pinky finger. Before the Chans' horrified eyes, he shoved it into the chi-o-matic, which instantly began glowing with a bright golden light.
"I can't get the power out of her, but I might be able to suppress it!" he snarled. "By the sacrifice of my body, let the powers of Ares be sealed! Thápste vathiá, theïkí dýnami!"
The second he finished his incantation, the chi-o-matic fired a massive beam of energy, engulfing the eight-car-and-growing pileup. As Eris's screams of rage began to emerge from underneath the vehicles, Prometheus shoved the device back over to Uncle and slung the pilot over his shoulder. "Now, we run!" he shouted.
"To where?" Jackie gasped as he moved to keep pace with the Titan. The honking horns and revving engines began to die down, as if the road rage had simply passed. People were stumbling, unhurt, from their cars as Eris struggled to push free of the twisted metal.
"To the one place she won't follow!" Prometheus replied, pointing at a nearby building. "The airport!"
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Several minutes later, a disgruntled group of mercenaries came trudging up the road, wincing and groaning.
"Why didn't anyone tell us that divine doping has such a hard comedown?" Vanessa groaned, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin wheezed. "One does not parade the cow before the steak."
"That was a stretch, even for you," Kasahara replied, his human body as bent and folded as his paper forms. He then turned to the fourth member of the group. "And how are you feeling?"
"Like I was knocked off a tower by a helicopter," Hak Foo growled, his chimeric body covered with scratches. "And they told me it would hurt less the second time."
"Now that is a story I need to hear," Vanessa whistled, before she and the Agents of Chaos came to a halt in front of Eris's chariot. The goddess in question was curled up in a ball inside of it, her storm spirits looking over her anxiously. "Um...boss?"
"They got away," Eris muttered, not lifting her head. "They killed my brother again, locked up his power, and then they ran away.."
"Hm...yes, I can feel a seal within your spirit," Zhixin mused, stroking his chin. "The Titan must have given up much to perform such a spell."
"Really not the time, you walking fortune cookie," Vanessa sighed, looking down at her boss. "So, what's the next step?"
"The next step is you go stand over there for a minute," Eris replied, sprouting an arm out of her back and pointing at a spot a few yards away. "Right now."
"With all due respect, Lady Eris, we are not leaving," Kasahara said firmly. "We do not want to leave-"
"GET OVER THERE AND LET ME PROCESS!" Eris snapped, uncurling from her ball-form and twisting her neck around to glare at Kasahara. Her eyes were brimming with blood, pouring down her face like tears. Her hair exploded outward like a firework, curling and twisting, like it was trying to scare off a predator.
"We're moving!" Vanessa replied, picking up Kasahara by the collar and yanking him away. Zhixin and Hak Foo soon followed, giving their boss a side-eye. Eris curled back into a ball, now completely alone.
A few minutes later, Eris felt her tears finally stop flowing. Stretching back out into her humanoid form, she forcefully brushed the trails of dried blood off of her cheeks and, holding out her clenched fist, began to glare at it. For a few moments, it twisted and writhed, taking the form of a mace made out of solidified bone, only to immediately collapse back into a normal fleshy hand. Eris growled, tightening her fist further and further, but it remained stubbornly unchanged. Just when it looked like she was about to draw blood, she sighed and unclenched her fist, letting her hand fall limply to her side. Stepping off the carriage, she walked towards her Agents, her steps leaving small holes in the asphalt.
"So, bad news first," the goddess said, her tone level but filled with restrained anger. "I had my doubts before, but in addition to everything else that has gone wrong today, there is now a 100% chance that my once-beloved aunt has completely joined the side of humanity."
"Not that much of a surprise," Vanessa replied. "Wiping out humanity was always going to be a hard sell for the goddess of the home."
"Indeed. However, it does not substantially alter the situation; she was working with the Chans regardless. What is our plan of attack?" Hak Foo asked curtly.
"Well, first thing we're gonna do is head home," Eris said, gesturing back at her chariot. "Then I am going to wallow and pamper myself for, like, a week. And then, we're going to start working on unlocking Ares's power. If we can get that seal broken, then this whole thing is as good as done."
"While also remaining vigilant for the next essences, I presume?" Zhixin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or would you rather focus on mastering this one?"
"Column A, column B," Eris replied. "Once I have full access to the essence, then it won't matter what those heroes do with the rest of the powers, but every little bit helps. And in the meantime, you four are on working vacation. We're upping your training drastically, but we're also upping your R&R time. While Ares's strength remains sealed, you four are my greatest assets, and you need to be in top shape."
"Love you too, boss," Vanessa chuckled, only for Eris to give her an unexpected death glare. The relic hunter put up her hands and backed away slowly. "For the power, I mean! Purely transactional, that's our relationship."
"Wait, but I thought-" Kasahara began, only for Zhixin to give him two sharp elbows in the ribs.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin hissed. "The tailorbird does not sing when the tiger prowls."
"And do you plan to continue your work with me, Lady Eris?" Hak Foo growled, flexing his claws. His kangaroo tail beat against the ground in his excitement. "This body was effective, but I shall need more powerful enhancements if I am to draw out my full power."
"Oh, don't worry; I have plenty more experiments to try on you," Eris replied, grinning. "As long as you can keep up, Mr. Black Tiger."
"Have no doubts on that front," the martial artist said, baring his fangs. "So, is there anything else you need done here?"
"Eh, nah," Eris answered. "Big Bro wouldn't want me to get too sentimental. Gotta move on. New life to live, new plans to start, new fami-I mean, minions to help…"
"Wait, does this mean you care-?" Kasahara began, only for Vanessa to roughly slap a hand over his mouth.
"If you say anything a third time I'm letting Hak Foo shut you up," she growled. Kasahara took one look at Hak Foo's lobster claw and then frantically nodded his head.
Eris, oblivious to the entire exchange, put her fingers to her mouth and whistled sharply, causing her storm spirits to whinny. "Come on, gang! After all, we have a lot of work to do...and a lot of people who've earned some serious payback!"
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"-the cause of the mass hysteria during the reenactment has yet to be explained, with all reenactors crediting a strange bout of bloodlust."
Back at Uncle's Rare Finds, the Chan family was finally able to calm themselves, until they turned on the news. In an instant, the dread they'd felt for that entire interminable plane ride came rushing back.
"In spite of this," the on-the-scene reporter continued, tears welling up in her big green eyes as she clutched her microphone, "only a single death has been reported, one Colton Pennypacker III, famed for his yearly portrayal of Lieutenant Captain Kidder Randolph Breese. Notably, his heavily damaged remains were found twenty miles from the battlefield, next to a crashed helicopter. In a related story, further tragedy came about from multiple traffic accidents, the helicopter being the obvious cause. The correlation between these events has yet to be determined. Reporting live from Wilmington, North Carolina, this is Renee Murphy."
With a sigh, Captain Black shut off the TV. He, Hestia, Tohru, and oddly enough Tremaine had been waiting at the antique shop when the Chans returned, the sumo having since fully recovered from his possession. "Well, not to rub salt into a wound, but this is an absolute nightmare," he groaned, resting his head in his hands.
"I can get our intelligence department working on a cover story, but we're going to be way behind the 8-ball on this," Tremaine said, shaking her head. Noticeably, she was standing on the other side of the room from where Hestia was sitting.
"Do it anyway," Captain Black ordered. "You are hereby promoted to head of making sure everything gets swept under the rug, in addition to being new head of security."
"I just can't apologize enough," Hestia muttered, tearing up slightly as she bandaged Prometheus's stump of a finger. "This is all my fault."
"No argument there," Prometheus growled back. "If you hadn't given into sentimentality and tried to live in the past…" He trailed off and glanced around the room, and both his face and tone softened. "But whatever. It'll grow back, just like my liver. Might take a little while, but it'll happen. What's important right now is that we prepare."
"Agreed," Tohru replied, nodding. "Now, you said that the spell you used sealed away the power of Ares. How much time do you believe you have bought us?"
"Not nearly as much as I would like," Prometheus answered. "Six months at the absolute most. Probably less. Eris is known for...shall we say, 'experimenting'? She'll tap into Ares and all the essences absorbed into him bit by bit, and once she has them in full..."
"Then nothing's stopping her from conducting a one-woman raid on Section 13 to get the rest," Jade concluded. "So that gives us, what, less than half a year?"
"And that's if she doesn't get any more essences," Jackie said with a grim nod.
"I'll shore up the defenses as much as I can," Hestia told them.
"And I'll make sure everyone's in top shape," added Tremaine, pointedly not looking in Hestia's direction. The hardened agent seemed somewhat perturbed being in the same room as the goddess.
"And you," Uncle screeched, pointing at Prometheus, "will continue teaching Uncle in Greek magic! Cannot afford to fall behind now!"
"I wouldn't mind some training also," Captain Black said. "I know I'm probably not going to get the most out of it, but I'd rather not be useless the next time this sort of thing happens on my doorstep."
"We also should get in touch with El Toro and Viper," Jade piped up. "We can use all the help we can get."
"I'll make the calls," Jackie sighed, "but we can't get our hopes up. They have lives of their own, after all."
"Whatever happens, we need to be ready for it," Prometheus said. "We need to predict the course of Chaos itself. No more slacking off. Are you ready?"
"We have to be," Jackie replied. "We're not letting another soul die because of her. Not on our watch."
"Don't worry - it's not going to happen again," Jade said, her tone filled not with her usual exuberance, but with pure determination. "Don't worry; the new and improved J-Team is on the case!"
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PA2: Like we said, dark stuff. However, sometimes it takes a little darkness to make the glow of determination shine brighter.
MP: Was that your favorite chapter so far? Let us know in your reviews.
PA2: And be specific if you can! We love hearing your thoughts and theories; they can be really helpful in clarifying future chapters! And speaking of future chapters, let's give them a preview of what's coming up next! Using words this time, MP. We kept getting complaints after that psychic vision shtick in the last chapter.
MP: But I had an interpretive dance ready! *frowns* Oh, fine! Next chapter, there'll be action! Excitement! Jewelry!
PA2: And the third party in Greek mythology's most divine love triangles!Tune in for the appropriately (and completely coincidentally) numbered Chapter 14 and beginning of the Aphrodite Escapade, "Pearls Before Incline"!
MP: Feel free to tell us your guesses and predictions! They're usually good for a laugh or a thoughtful conversation.
PA2: Either way, we're having a good time, and we hope you are too!
MP: Though we appreciate you giving faves, follows, and reviews to let us know!
PA2: Until the next chapter! See you then!