MP: Welcome back, loyal readers! And the fair-weather ones, too, I suppose. At this point in the story, I think I can finally share how the opening would look for this fictional season!
PA2: For those asking why we didn't post it before, two reasons. One, spoilers. Two...well, we legitimately hadn't thought about it until relatively recently. But I will say that MP has come up with something absolutely fantastic! Please enjoy!
*Scene begins with a shot of the sky over Uncle's Rare Finds, panning down. Cut to Jackie entering and briefly shifting to the real-life Jackie Chan. Silhouettes of Jackie fighting Shadowkhan over a backdrop of murals of the Greek gods, real-life Jackie quickly moving his hands in front of a background of Shadowkhan, Jade swinging fans, and Uncle showing off his own moves. Afterward, a pan of the Agents of Chaos from right to left: Zhixin, Kasahara, Hak Foo (in human form), Vanessa, and finally Eris, who rips off her own head and cackles. Following that, the usual scenes of Jackie fighting Shadowkhan on the Golden Gate Bridge, the Eiffel Tower, and the Pyramid of Giza, once again briefly morphing into the real Jackie Chan. Cut to Jade in the alley, idly tossing Pandora's amphora in the alley outside Section 13. Jackie runs up, catches the urn, grabs Jade and keeps running without breaking his stride. He looks down at the urn, and it starts pumping out golden mist. Finally, Jackie, Jade, and Uncle stand before Hak Foo in his mutated form from the Ares adventure, whom Jackie floors with one punch, turning into the real Jackie one more time and shaking his hand in pain. Cue title card*
MP: Cool, right? I've been workshopping it for a while. I really, really want this fic to feel like a season of the show - just a little more mature at times, you know?
PA2: Indeed. And speaking of more mature, we do have something we want to share, something very important to our third partner-in-crime-
GPQ: Hey guys, you miss me?
MP and PA2, lifting their beers: Queenie!
PA2: GreenPhantomQueen, everybody! She has a special message for everyone after the chapter, so please stick around. And without further ado, onto the story!
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Jackie Chan Adventures: Olympian Journey
Chapter 14: Pearls Before Incline
"We're back, Boss!" Vanessa called; she and Zhixin through the now obnoxiously decorated hallways of the jeans factory. "And we've come bearing rations!"
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin muttered, carrying three takeout containers in each of his four hands. "The noble lion never picks the carcass clean."
"Believe me, I could go without having to order in constantly," Vanessa sighed, "but given that we can't cook without giving away our position, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I just wish we didn't have to switch restaurants every other week."
"What was wrong with the last one?" Zhixin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Those gyros were fantastic."
"Yes, but they forgot to put the pineapple and sauerkraut in the boss's pita," Vanessa groaned, peering through an open door. "I'm honestly surprised it lasted as long as it did."
"Oh sweet, you got the food! Bring it in here!" came Eris's voice from further down the hall. "And hurry it up! I've got something cool to show you!"
"Ten bucks it's another cosplay," Vanessa muttered to Zhixin, who shook his head.
"No bet. We just had the viewing party yesterday, so it couldn't be anything else," the old monk muttered back, prompting a groan from Vanessa.
"Yeah, you're right. Never thought I'd be missing her just ordering us around," Vanessa said. "The friendship thing is getting kinda creepy."
"Oh suck it up and be grateful I like you idiots!" Eris shouted back. "Now seriously, get a move on!"
Sharing a look of premature misery, Vanessa and Zhixin made their way into the lair's main room, now featuring even more tacky furnishings. Hak Foo, his form mostly human apart from the duck bill, horse hooves, and the crab shell encasing his torso, was resting in a rainbow-colored hammock, idly flipping through a martial arts magazine. Kasahara, meanwhile, was currently working rapidly with an ink brush, sketching Greek letters on various knicknacks with impressive skill.
Eris, on the other hand, was indeed wearing an elaborate costume-and also standing on the room's second hand-shaped chair. This time, she was wearing a dark purple leotard with white decorative accents covering the back. Her hair was surprisingly neat and colored raven black, matching the star insignia in the center of her chest and the black heels she wore on her feet. As the two remaining Agents walked in, Eris squealed and rushed over to them, plucking two takeout containers from Zhixin's grasp.
"Thanks guys!" Eris cheered, randomly hugging Vanessa before darting away with her food. Somehow, the re-death of Ares had seemed to unlock something in Eris; the Goddess of Discord was now much more cheerful and emotionally open. The Agents had theorized about the precise cause - being able to say goodbye to her brother properly, receiving his power, a sense of renewed purpose - but whatever the cause, the change was truly noticeable. Moreover, it was well received, even if it was at times rather exhausting.
"...okay, I'll bite," Vanessa said, looking over Eris's outfit. "I have no idea who you're supposed to be. She wasn't in the anime you showed us last night."
"Congrats on paying attention," Eris snarked as she dug through the first container, pulling out a container of sushi covered in bright pastel sauces. "She's a manga-only Sailor Moon character."
"I see," Zhixin replied skeptically. "And what made you choose this outfit for today?"
"Because of my brilliant plan to start breaking Prometheus's seal, that's why!" Eris said, giving a wicked smirk. She then pointed imperiously at Kasahara. "You! Test dummy time!"
"As you wish, Lady Eris," Kasahra said calmly, unfolding himself from his seated position with a nod. "What do you need from me?"
"Just stand right there, and don't move an inch," Eris said, grinning wildly. "Things are about to get fun!"
The moment she finished speaking, a huge burst of fire shot from her pointed finger, setting a nearby chair ablaze. Flames erupted throughout the room, burning all over the rusted, broken machinery, along with all of Eris's impulse buys. Before Kasahara could begin to move, the flames had him surrounded. He batted at the flames, trying to brush them off. He stopped, dropped, and rolled as he cried for help over the screech of fire alarms. He begged for the help of the others, but they wouldn't budge, almost as if they didn't care that they might perish in the inferno.
"Impressive," Hak Foo noted, hoisting himself down from his hammock. "You've driven him insane, yes?"
Indeed, in the eyes of the other Agents of Chaos, Kasahara was merely screaming and scrambling about without a cause in sight.
"Close, but no cigar," Eris replied, snapping her fingers. Immediately, Kasahara's breathing slowed and returned to normal, as the fold-up-man pried open his eyes and frantically patted himself down. He was completely untouched. "What I did was conjure an illusion of his worst fear in his head. This is the power of Phobos, God of Fear and son of Ares. And, based on the screams, I'm guessing it was fire?" she finished, aiming a smirk at Kasahara.
"Yes, Lady Eris," Kasahara said, coughing as he tried to regain his dignity. "Water may incapacitate me, but flames are absolutely deadly. I would have appreciated more of a warning, however."
"A warning?!" Eris scoffed. "After all these months, it's like you still don't know me."
"Nice to see some things never change," Vanessa chuckled. "So how does the cosplay fit in?"
"Well, the character I'm dressed up as is named Phobos, or maybe Deimos, it differs between adaptat-" Eris started, before pausing and shaking her head. "You know what, the backstory isn't important. I just figured if I got more in touch with my emotions, it'd help me start tearing through the seal. And whaddya know, it worked! Still going to take some time to be able to access it on command, but now I can combine dressing up and getting revenge!"
Kasahara gave her a funny look. "You won't have to wear that every time, will you?" he asked.
"Not after I break in the power a little bit," Eris sighed, seeming slightly disappointed. "But it's just as well; I'd get way too bored if I had to put on the same costume every day!"
"Right…" Vanessa muttered, tilting her head a bit. "So, do we have a plan? It's been nearly four weeks since the last power, and aside from practice and playtime, we've mostly been cooling our heels."
"What do you expect?" Kasahara asked, still patting himself down to be sure there were no flames. "Lady Eris doesn't control when an essence activates, nor when it chooses its host."
"Yeah, but she has a point," Eris responded, conjuring her usual chiton with a flourish of her hand. "I mean, it's been a little while, and we-e-e-e-e…" she continued, before sputtering and trailing off. Seconds later, her stomach swung open like an escape hatch, and golden mist began to pour out in front of her. Eris fell into a crabwalk position and swirled one arm above her as the mist coalesced into shape.
The golden color cleared away, displaying an image of a beautiful woman with long honey-colored hair, porcelain skin, and ruby-red lips. She appeared to be naked, covering her rather large breasts with crossed arms as she cast an alluring look outward.
"Ah, the power of Aphrodite," Eris reported.
"She's mighty mighty," Zhixin wheezed, subtly squeezing his lower two hands. "Just letting it all hang out."
Vanessa slapped him upside the head.
"Eyes up, pervert," the relic hunter warned. "For heaven's sake, you're supposed to be a monk!"
"A lapsed monk," Zhixin sulked, crossing his upper pair of arms.
Eris ignored them both. "Let's see where the power is hiding," she said. She swept her arm again, and the image changed to a map of the eastern side of Asia, zooming in close to a large lake.
"Where is that?" Kasahara asked. "Shanghai?"
Zhixin gave a derisive snort. "Suzhou, actually," he said. "It's closer to Taihu."
"And we're looking for…"
Eris swirled her hand one more time, and the mist displayed a street full of high-end stores in an upscale district. It zoomed in closer to the window of a particularly fine red brick building - a jewelry store - and finally rested on an exceptional necklace of pearls in white, pink, and black.
Vanessa gave an appreciative whistle. "Now that is a beautiful piece," she mused, eyeing it closely.
"Back off," Kasahara snapped, sharpening one hand into a blade. "You already hosted one power. Besides, Far East art is my specialty!"
"Alright, alright," Vanessa said, backing away from the image. "Calm down, will you?"
At that, Kasahara blushed slightly, returning his hand to normal. "Ahem...my apologies," he said, quickly regaining his composure. "Anyway, we should take our leave immediately."
"Actually, hold that thought," Eris interrupted, waving away the image of the necklace. By this point, her hair had returned to its normal multicolored and tangled state. She closed the hatch on her belly and hoisted herself upside-down, standing on her hands. "This time, I have a new plan, one that requires a little more...patience," she continued, practically spitting out that last word.
Vanessa raised an eyebrow. "Alright then…" she said, somewhat confusedly. "I can see how that might throw them off, but would it actually help?"
"This seems like one of those things I explain on the way," Eris sighed. "But first," she snapped her fingers and stared at her newest henchman. "Hak Foo!" she trilled. "Time for another makeover!"
Hak Foo's grimace was visible even with his duck bill as he hesitantly followed Eris to her forbidden inner chambers, the door audibly clicking behind them. The remaining Agents of Chaos remained behind, quietly thanking fate that it wasn't them.
"She doesn't need Phobos's power to bring his fears to life," Kasahara muttered.
"Don't slack off," Vanessa warned. "I get the feeling that this is going to be a wild adventure."
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"Man, that was one wild adventure!" Jade cried, pumping a fist. "Awesome fights, superpowered villains, all the plot lines coming together, and such a satisfying ending!"
"Yes, that was an excellent choice for the in-flight movie, Jade," Tohru agreed. "You should choose them more often."
A full seventeen hours after the power of Aphrodite had activated, the Chans were nearly back in San Francisco with the necklace in tow, once again riding in comfort in one of Section 13's private stealth jets. The three martial artists were reclining back in their seats as the credits for the latest blockbuster rolled on the screen in front of them.
"I can't believe this mission was so easy," Jackie commented as he stretched his legs. "All we had to do was walk into a jewelry store and buy a necklace. This was the easiest retrieval we've ever had!" He let out a howl of pain, though, as Uncle whacked him on the forehead.
"It is not over until essence is safely contained!" the old man snapped. "Eris was not even in Suzhou, and Uncle doubts she simply missed a flight!"
"He's not wrong," Jade sighed. "Ten bucks says we get interrupted on the way."
"You do not sound very enthused by the idea," Tohru said, raising an eyebrow. "You are usually excited at the prospect of combat."
"Tch, after what we had to deal with last time? Even I like an easy win now and then," Jade replied. "I just wish I was more confident that we'd actually get one."
As if summoned by her words, the entire cabin shook violently, nearly sending the Chans flying out of their seats. "Pay up!" Jade shouted, holding out a hand for her cash.
"What was that?" Jackie cried, pressing the button for the intercom.
"Something hit us from behind!" Tremaine's voice answered. "I'm making an emergency landing!"
"We were hit that badly?" Tohru gasped.
"No, but the Captain ordered me to ground this thing the second we ran into trouble!" Tremaine shouted back. "If we lose any more aircraft we'll never get out of the hole!"
"Yeah, Captain Black was pretty insistent that we stick to the budget this time," Jade mused, only to halt as the jet was rocked by another blast.
"How did they even know we were here?" Jackie shouted as the jet took a sharp downturn. "We're in stealth mode!"
"That doesn't make us invisible!" Tremaine snapped, prompting Uncle to give Jackie another smack to the back of the head.
"Even Uncle knew that!" the chi wizard crowed. "One more thing! Pilot lady must buy Uncle time to ready combat spells!"
"You have a minute!" Tremaine reported. "And we're over Lombard Street, so buckle up!"
The entire group slid back into their seats and tightened their safety belts to the maximum as the jet took a sharp downturn. It skidded against the street, the wings narrowly missing dozens of parked cars as it slowed to a stop just in front of a steep hill.
"Tohru and I will hold them off," Jackie told the group. "Uncle, mix up that spell as quickly as you can. Tremaine, call for backup. Jade, as soon as Tohru and I step out, I want you to take the necklace and find a safe place to hide."
"Roger!" Tremaine said over the intercom, while Jade and Uncle just nodded. Jackie slowly walked to the door, lining up Tohru behind him. Carefully, he lifted the lever to release the hatch, then swung open the door at top speed and flung himself out. As expected, Eris and the Agents of Chaos were there waiting for them. Vanessa and Zhixin were out in front, readying themselves in martial arts stances, while Hak Foo wasn't far behind. However, his new appearance definitely drew much more attention.
Hak Foo now sported the snout and ears of a wolf, one green scaly arm tipped with turtle claws, and a single condor wing in place of the other. His legs were long, lanky, and bare, like those of an ostrich, but featured leopard-like paws on the ends, while his pecs and back were plated with armadillo armor. Completing the look was the wide, flat tail of a beaver. As before, his long red hair was untouched.
"So good of you to do the retrieving for me, Chan!" Eris said, her voice like tainted honey. She was hovering in her chariot above her minions, triumphantly leering down at the archaeologist. "I'll make sure to give you a nice steak bone for your work. Now hand over the essence!"
Jackie stared up at the Goddess of Discord, stepping forward to let Tohru out. They stood close to the door, blocking off the view from inside the cabin while leaving a small, barely noticeable gap behind them. "How did you even find us?" the archaeologist demanded.
"Apparently the power of Ares lets me sniff out military-grade aircraft," Eris said with a shrug. "Also, you weren't the first plane I attacked."
"Do yourself a favor and don't Google Mt. Tam," Vanessa said with a grimace.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin followed up, chuckling. "Not every line cast will yield a fish."
Jackie glared back at the monk, flaring his nostrils at their blasé outlook, and dashed forward. He threw his weight hard into his first punch, nailing Zhixin in the cheek. The monk skidded back, holding his face with one of his four hands as he moaned in pain.
"Oh, don't be such a baby!" Vanessa snapped as Zhixin complained. She teleported forward and moved to strike Jackie in the back with her high heel, but Jackie's reflexes were too quick. He spun around, caught Vanessa by the ankle, and threw her directly into Zhixin. Vanessa was no slouch, either, and teleported in midair, continuing her path directly into Jackie.
The archaeologist was knocked to the street, and Vanessa drove her elbow into his throat, but when she pulled back for another strike, Jackie rammed his forehead into her nose, knocking the relic hunter off-balance. He then pushed her off of him and jumped back to his feet, only to be immediately forced to duck as Zhixin fired an energy blast, one which struck the side of the jet and caused it to list.
"Ai-yah!" Uncle screamed from within. "Watch what you are doing out there!"
Meanwhile, hidden behind Tohru's body, Jade began to crawl out of the cabin door, her backpack bulging with the necklace's container. As she reached the railing of the jet's fold-out stairway, she grabbed it and hoisted herself over. However, before she could drop to the ground, she found herself constrained by a thick cord of paper emerging from the underside of the jet.
"Did you think we would not be prepared for you, child?" Kasahara demanded, his face emerging from the front of his paper octopus form. The creature crawled out from under the jet, dragging Jade with it to the top. "Chan-Jackie-Chan is always sending you off in another direction!"
Jade didn't reply in words. She stared defiantly back at the fold-up man as she let out a snort, finally turning her head down and hocking a loogie directly onto his paper tentacle. Now wet, the paper sagged and she escaped his grasp, landing safely on the street. "And to think Jackie told me a lady never does that!" she laughed as she headed for the steep incline of Lombard Street. Kasahara wouldn't be stopped so easily, though, and folded himself into a paper monkey to swing off of one wing of the plane and leap after her. Jade ducked just as he came at her, though, and the fold-up man tumbled down the steep, curvy road. "Such a litter problem in this city," she said with a click of her tongue.
At that moment, Hak Foo spied Jade in the corner of his eye and charged after her with a cry of "Soaring eagle snatches mouse!". Tohru was quick to protect his young friend, though, and threw himself into the thug's path. Hak Foo's turtle claw collided with Tohru's bountiful belly, and the giant grunted but held his ground. He retaliated by pulling Hak Foo into a bear hug, leaving the hodgepodge man to beat ineffectively with his condor wing for a moment.
With a growl, Hak Foo reared back and kicked Tohru in the groin with an ostrich-leg-powered kick, complete with leopard claws, screaming "Kangaroo repels rival!" Tohru groaned in pain and loosened his grip, freeing the thug, and Hak Foo made use of it by clawing Tohru across the face.
Jackie came to Tohru and Jade's rescue a moment later, delivering a flying karate chop to Hak Foo's back that did nothing but leave Jackie's hand sore, thanks to the armadillo shell. Jackie winced and shook his hand in pain, but swept his leg through one of Hak Foo's. The Black Tiger was quick, though, and returned the favor with his longer, more muscular leg. Worse, Vanessa teleported into the fray and cast her whip to pull Jackie back.
"Can't let you have all the fun," she told Hak Foo in a mocking tone. "Give someone else a turn."
She snapped her whip again, releasing Jackie from its hold and spinning him around, then giving a strong right hook that Jackie caught. Using her own strength against her, Jackie flung her over his shoulder, directly into Hak Foo. Tohru seized his opportunity and picked them both up, throwing them into the plane's wing. The two Agents of Chaos struck it with a loud clang and moaned in pain when they hit the street.
Tohru dusted off his hands in satisfaction, but the second he turned his head he was blasted forward by a double chi burst from Zhixin. The giant collapsed forward, nearly rolling down the hill, and the monk leapt at Jade, seizing the necklace with two of his four hands. "Ancient wisdom," he said smugly. "The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Better make sure the trap's gone off, then!" Jade countered, grabbing hold of the necklace herself. The two strained and struggled over the pearls, grunting in anger.
"Give it up, you little brat!" Zhixin snarled. He reached over with his lower two arms and dug them into Jade's hoodie, tickling her armpits. "I have your arms outnumbered!"
Jade did her best not to laugh, but finally choked out a retort. "Maybe, but I'm still at perfect shin height!"
Zhixin blinked in surprise, then realized what the younger Chan meant as she leaned back and threw her weight into one solid kick to his shin. Zhixin loosened his hold as he howled in pain, and Jade made a run for it, but ran into Kasahara once more, this time in the form of a bull. He tackled the girl head-on, and Jade took a brief tumble down the top of Lombard Street, barely managing to control her roll into a curb.
Kasahara shifted into the form of a ninja and leapt at her, prepared to slice her open with a sharp edge of his hand, but Jackie intercepted, kicking the fold-up man away, then following up with a one-two punch to his ribs. "Run, Jade!" he called over his shoulder, and Jade didn't argue. She started a sprint down the hill, but Kasahara wouldn't let her go. He escaped Jackie by shifting into a bird, then took off and dropped down in human form to seize the necklace. As before, Jade struggled, but this time something changed: The thread snapped, and the pearls all dropped onto the street, rolling down the frustratingly curvy road.
Jackie, Jade, Tohru, and the Agents let out simultaneous cries of shock, momentarily still as they watched the pearls roll away.
"Don't just stand there!" Eris roared. "Kasahara, get that essence! The rest of you, pull these thorns from my side once and for all!"
Kasahara nodded and folded himself into a cheetah, sprinting toward the escaped pearls, with Jade hot on his heels. The others turned to Jackie and Tohru.
"Wasp stings hippo!" Hak Foo yelled, leaping at Tohru with one arm outstretched. He struck Tohru in the chest, and the giant grunted in pain, but recovered and slammed his hands on either side of the Black Tiger's head. Hak Foo wasn't so easily contained, though, and kicked off his feet, delivering a rising kick to Tohru's chin and turning a full 360 degrees with a yell of "Crane high kick!" Tohru released his hold in a moment of weakness, and Vanessa continued from there, snapping her whip directly onto the sumo's nose. Tohru screamed in pain, and Zhixin blasted him in the side. With a grunt, Tohru rolled backwards, to the edge of the steep hill.
"Tohru!" Jackie cried. He sideswiped Hak Foo with a rolling kick, then sprung from the mutated thug's shoulders to reach Tohru, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and struggling to keep him from falling.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin chuckled, charging up another blast with all four hands. "To chop down two trees with one swing is the model of efficiency!"
Just before the blast could strike, Jackie mustered up a burst of adrenaline, not only pulling Tohru back but sending him flying in the opposite direction. Tohru literally rolled with it, bowling over both Zhixin and Hak Foo as Vanessa teleported away. She didn't last much longer, though, as Jackie sprinted over and punched her in the face. All three Agents of Chaos recovered quickly, though, and moved into formation around Jackie and Tohru.
"Wolf pack corners frightened rabbits," Hak Foo sneered as Jackie and Tohru moved back to back.
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Jade's sides began to burn as she raced down Lombard Street, not-so-hot on Kasahara's heels. His cheetah form sliced through the air like an arrow, sticking close to the curbs as he chased down the loose pearls. The turns were murder on her legs, too, but she was hardly the type to give up. She pushed the feelings of exhaustion to the back of her mind and cranked it up another gear. To her surprise, Kasahara was slowing down.
As she neared the fold-up man, Jade saw him pawing at a few loose pearls in the gutter. However, before she could swoop down on them, Kasahara's body quickly compressed, folds of paper criss crossing over one another as he took on a new form. Where the cheetah once stood, a large pelican now flew, and the bird quickly scooped the pearls into its gaping beak. Once the pearls were safely stored, the pelican turned back into a cheetah and took off, leaving Jade behind once more.
Not to be outdone, Jade hopped the hedge behind a curb and took a shortcut to the next section. With a smile, she grabbed a few pearls of her own and stuffed them into her hoodie just before they could roll away. An angry Kasahara swooped down on her, but she ducked and kept running, following the shining projectiles. The two continued to swipe at each other as they raced downward, collecting the tiny gems as they went.
The remaining pearls spilled out every which way as they approached the bottom of the hill, and Kasahara let out an audible squawk as they rolled toward a storm drain. At the last minute, he swooped down and grabbed the very last of them in his beak, and Jade took the opportunity to deliver a flying kick to his back.
"Watch your back, bird-brain," Jade said with a smirk. The paper pelican hit the street, and, with a squawk, folded into a paper samurai. The figure swiped at Jade with its sharpened arms, and Jade danced back, keeping low. Kasahara wouldn't let up, though, and moved forward to close the gap between them. Jade rolled between his legs and dashed away, narrowly dodging another swipe of his arms. She turned on her heel and stuck out her tongue as she stood on the corner of the sidewalk, then laughed and jumped when the fold-up man struck. To Kasahara's dismay, he sliced directly through a fire hydrant, which let loose a geyser of water, soaking him and blowing him back. All of his collected pearls spilled into the street, and Jade swooped down, grabbing as many as she could.
"Obnoxious child!" Kasahara growled, forced back into his human form. "I shall not fail another mission!"
Soaking wet, Kasahara resorted to pure martial arts, and swung his leg directly at Jade. Her hands flew open, dropping the pearls she'd collected, and they, along with the rest of the pearls in the gutter, were swept up in the hydrant's deluge and washed away into the sewer.
"No!" Kasahara's face burned red as he threw himself at Jade, seizing her by the ankles and dangling her upside-down. "The pearls may be out of our reach for now," he snarled. "But something tells me that Lady Eris will find you to be a lovely consolation prize!"
"Yeeeaaah," Jade drawled, pursing her lips. "Let's not make a deal." She gave Kasahara a double-fisted pound to the abdomen, then dropped down as he gasped in pain. One of her shoes slipped off in Kasahara's hand from that stunt, but she had no time to worry about that. She sprinted into the nearest alley she could find, covering her trail as best she could - Jackie and the others would have to get by without her this time.
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Back with Jackie and Tohru, the two were putting up a surprisingly good defense, given that they were surrounded on three sides by the Agents of Chaos. Between Jackie's speed and Tohru's durability, the two had managed to avoid serious injury from the onslaught of whip strikes, kicks, and energy blasts. However, the Agents were moving with impressive synchronicity, and the two martial artists were slowly but surely losing ground.
"Keep going!" Vanessa ordered the other two. "They can't hold out forever!"
Meanwhile, Eris was staring down the hill and rolling her eyes, (for once metaphorically). "Seriously? Again?" she groaned, shaking her head (that one was literal). "I get that he's water-soluble, but how many times has this brat gotten one over on him?"
"Origami has always been a thief first and a fighter second," Hak Foo commented, scoring a blow on Jackie's left arm with his turtle claws. "Deprive him of his magic, and the Chan girl is more than a match."
"Ugh, logic," Eris gagged. "Look, just kill those two before the old man pops up! We need to get that essence fast!"
"You call Uncle old?" a familiar voice sounded as the aforementioned chi wizard stepped out of the jet, petrified newt and blowfish aloft. "Magic burping lady predates humanity!"
"But just look at this pretty face!" Eris countered sweetly, literally ripping her face off of the front of her head, eyes and all, and batting her eyelids at him. "No seriously, take a look!" she continued, before crumpling the face into a dense ball of flesh and squeezing it between her hands. A moment later, she lobbed the projectile, which had been compressed into a diamond imprint of her features, straight at Uncle's head. Uncle's reflexes were sharp, though. He pointed his newt and sent the diamond flying directly back to its owner with a blast of wind. The impact knocked Eris from her chariot, and she tumbled into the fray below.
"Uncle has learned some new tricks!" Uncle bragged as Eris, lying flat on her back with a diamond embedded into her facial muscles, slowly regenerated. "Here is one more thing! Periéchei kakó kai cháos! Periéchei kakó kai cháos!"
The chi wizard simultaneously whipped his blowfish and newt, and golden ropes extended from both, crisscrossing into a net that swept up not only the goddess but Hak Foo, Zhixin, and Vanessa as well. Moreover, as soon as the net hit Eris, her regeneration stopped, leaving her face only halfway restored and flecks of diamond still embedded in her flesh. Jackie and Tohru narrowly managed to back down the hill beyond the net's limits.
"What is this?!" Vanessa demanded. "I can't teleport!"
Zhixin fired off a quadruple blast from his hands, but the net held firm. "It's too strong!"
"Orderly Greek magic at its finest!" Uncle bragged. "You and your powers are trapped within!"
"But not mine, darling," Eris said, grinning. "Or at least, not all of mine." Despite the net pressing into her, the goddess had enough freedom of movement to grab hold of her chiton and tear it off, revealing her cosplay beneath it.
"How?" Uncle goggled, staring at the net. "Spell should block chaotic shape-shifting!"
"Yeah, and isn't that a pain in the butt?" Eris scoffed. "Which is now stuck above my legs like everyone else's! Good thing I'd kept this on from earlier! Don't drain your lizard, geezer! Let's see how you handle a midday frightmare!"
The goddess stretched her arms out of the fibers of the net and flicked her wrists in Uncle's direction. The old chi wizard's reaction was immediate. His pupils shrank into tiny dots, and his arms dropped to his sides as he stared vacantly ahead.
"Sensei!" Tohru shouted. "What has happened? Are you alright?"
Uncle gave no response to his ex-student, his jaw hanging down as he stared in horror. All of his joints loosened, and he collapsed onto the street. Worse, without him fueling the spell, the golden net dissipated into the ether.
Eris gave a wicked smile. "Wow, I'm good!" she bragged as she got to her feet, plucking the last bits of diamond out of her forehead as her face fully healed.
"What have you done to him?!" Jackie demanded, hands clenched into fists. His eyes burned with rage, a rare occurrence from the normally peaceful archaeologist.
"Same thing I'll do to you," Eris replied with a shrug. She spread her hands in Jackie and Tohru's direction as she gave a wicked laugh. The pupils of the two martial artists immediately dilated, and they turned to each other with a blank expression.
In Jackie's eyes, the archaeologist was suddenly standing next to a towering green-scaled figure, a draconic head mounted on a muscular humanoid body. The creature's blood red eyes, free of pupils or irises, were staring down into Jackie's very soul, and tendrils of fire were emerging from its mouth with each exhalation. "CHAN!" it screeched, its voice like a serpent screaming from the depths of the abyss. "AT LAST, MY REVENGE IS NIGH!"
Tohru, meanwhile, was looking down at his own intimidating adversary. The tall and muscular being was shirtless, wearing loose black pants of the type worn by martial artists along with matching shoes. What was more remarkable was its face: colored a dull red, the scowling demonic visage was accented by black lips, yellow-green eyes, and a set of unruly white eyebrows, complete with bushy mustache and beard. "Hello, Tohru," the demonic creature said in a dark, echoing voice that altered in pitch as it spoke. Its white tusks flashed as its lips moved. "All this time and no welcome for me?"
To the outsider, Jackie and Tohru were merely staring each other down, wide-eyed in fright, completely ignoring as the rest of the Agents got to their feet. It was ultimately Tohru who made the first move. He took a sumo stance and stomped forward, palms out. Jackie replied by ducking low and aiming a high kick at the giant's face. Tohru stumbled back, but recovered in only a second. "I will not surrender, Tarakudo!" he roared, throwing himself at his own teammate.
Jackie unexpectedly jumped back, then front-flipped over to slam into Tohru. "Your dragon breath is as bad as ever, Shendu!" he said, sweating bullets. "And where is Eris?"
"Do not taunt me, oni!" Tohru roared. He seemed not to have heard anything that Jackie had said, and thrust his arm at Jackie's chest, knocking the archaeologist back.
"This is easier than I thought!" Eris whooped as she watched the friends exchange blows. "Should I let them finish each other?" She pondered this for just a moment. "Eh, why risk it? Zhixin, end them both."
"With pleasure," Zhixin chortled, raising his hands. "Would you like me to finish the wizard as well?"
"Nah, I'll take care of it," Eris said, striding over to Uncle's semi-conscious form. The old man was still staring ahead, expression blank. Tears dripped beneath his eyes. "I don't know if spilling some blood will help me get through the seal, but it couldn't hurt!"
Zhixin charged up blasts on all four of his hands as Eris reached into her throat and pulled out a saber of ossified bone. Both of them gave evil smiles as they bared down on their helpless opponents.
"Freeze!" shouted a voice from behind the goddess. Eris's head spun around, scowling as a full two dozen Section 13 agents drew closer to the Agents of Chaos, enclosing them in a circle. Captain Black was leading the team, and each of them was holding up a handgun. "One more move and I'll turn you into a living colander!"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Eris howled, though she didn't move just yet. "Bullets can't harm me! I'm already a goddess, and the power of another god flows through me! Don't you know that-"
"Magic must defeat magic," Captain Black interrupted. "Yeah, the old man's made that clear. Which is why Prometheus beefed up our bullets with a little Greek mojo."
The captain gestured to the side of the gun's muzzle, which was marked with glowing Greek runes. Then he demonstrated by firing a shot at the Goddess of Discord's hand. She yelped in pain, and golden ichor dripped down.
"Yikes, that's got some bite!" she shouted, shaking out her hand. The backs of her knuckles were oozing ichor, although the wound was already beginning to close. "If you'd hit me with that two months ago, you might've left a scar!"
"Maybe, but I don't think you'd be able to walk off a hit to the head," Captain Black growled, adjusting his aim. "So come quietly, or we'll have to shut you up ourselves."
"Hm, you raise an interesting proposition, which needs to be given proper - NOW, VANESSA!" Eris shouted, staring directly at the relic hunter. Without a word, Vanessa reached into her boots and pulled out a knife and a scrap of paper, throwing both at the Section 13 agents.
As Captain Black turned, the knife, its blade etched with Greek letters, suddenly shot forward like a bullet and dug into his arm, plunging itself up to the hilt. The captain screamed and dropped to his knees, the gun falling to the concrete. The other Section 13 agents took aim and fired immediately, but the paper, also covered in Greek phrases, suddenly expanded into a massive steel wall, obscuring Eris and her minions from view. The bullets ricocheted harmlessly off of the barrier, and the agents jumped back in surprise.
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin said with a sneer. "The concealed dagger is deadlier than the drawn sword."
"Yeah, well let's actually use that sword before something else -" Vanessa began, only to be interrupted by the sound of a gun being cocked. "- happens," she sighed.
"Alright Eris, don't make any sudden moves," Tremaine said, her eyes narrowed at the Goddess of Discord. "Otherwise, I'll be forced to put a bullet right between those pretty eyes of yours-wherever you happen to move them!"
"Ooh, tough one!" Eris chuckled, twirling her saber. "But we both know that you'll only have time for the one shot before my Agents rip you apart."
Indeed, Hak Foo was already directly behind Tremaine, his turtle claws pressing into her back, while Vanessa had her whip primed to wrap around the Section 13 agent's neck. Tremaine gulped, but her aim remained steady. "Maybe, but I can make that shot count. I'm willing to go down if I take you out with me," she said.
"Homicidal. I like that in a woman!" Eris said cheerfully. "Alright, you've got yourself a negotiation. Let me guess, your next line is, 'Leave the Chans and you can walk out of here'?"
"...Yes," Tremaine grumbled, lowering the gun slightly as she felt Hak Foo's breath on the back of her neck.
"Fine, fine," Eris said dismissively, waving her hands. Immediately, Jackie, Tohru, and Uncle's eyes cleared, leaving them looking around in shock. "The brat's probably gotten away with the pearls by now, anyway. You win this round, but we'll be back, yadda yadda yadda. Come on kids, let's blow this popsicle stand!"
"You're...awfully calm about this," Tremaine muttered, flinching as Hak Foo strode past her with a growl. Vanessa and Zhixin, both of them shooting glares at the still recovering Chans, soon joined him, leaving all three arrayed behind Eris. "What's your angle here?"
"Just playing the game for now, angel," Eris replied with a smirk. "Enjoy it while you can, before I change the rules."
With that, the goddess and her Agents of Chaos disappeared in a puff of golden smoke, leaving only their signature graffiti apple behind on the street.
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An explosion of golden mist heralded the Agents' arrival at the outlandishly furnished jeans factory. Eris flung Vanessa, Zhixin, and Hak Foo aside and threw herself onto an enormous pillow shaped like a hippo. "Well that was fun!" she laughed as she sank into the pillow's cushiony surface. "Seeing Phobos's mojo at work was more than worth the price of admission!"
"Given the size of those pearls, I'd have to disagree," Vanessa snorted, sitting down on a chair resembling a severed hand, complete with candle wicks sticking out of the fingers. "So what is the angle here? Did Kasahara manage to get the power while no one was looking?"
"Would be nice, huh? But no, I don't think so," Eris sighed, dangling her head off the edge of the pillow.
"I suppose you can tell the same way you knew where to find the Chans?" Hak Foo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Ares's nose was always too clogged by the smell of blood to pick out weapons," Eris said, seemingly out of nowhere. "But when it came to Aphrodite, the boy was like a bloodhound."
"Ancient wisdom," Zhixin muttered, tapping his fingers together. "Love and war are ever in conjunction."
"Really? No weird animal metaphors for this one?" Vanessa snickered, prompting a glare from Zhixin.
"Everyone has off days," he snapped, before turning back to Eris. "So you can detect Aphrodite's essence. But how do you know it's still contained?"
"And was there actually a point to wrecking that plane?" Vanessa added. "I mean, it was fun, but it ended up just giving the Chans more time."
"To answer your questions in reverse order, that was the point, and because this is the sixth of these things we've dealt with and I know the difference between a sealed essence and a loose one," Eris answered, rolling her eyes. "It's all part of the plan."
"That's another thing; what is with you and plans right now?" Vanessa asked incredulously. "You hate plans! The last time we tried to talk about plans, you washed my mouth out with soap!"
"Well you deserved it! Saying a dirty word like that!" Eris replied, before grimacing. "Which reminds me, I'm going to have to gargle with drain cleaner after this conversation to get the taste out. But apparently there are side-effects to consuming the power and spiritual remnants of the God of War. And in addition to the fun ones like divine powers galore, there are also the boring ones like actually thinking about...ugh, tactics," she continued, before sticking out her tongue. She spat on the floor, and the phlegm immediately transformed into a poisonous toadstool. "Blech. Who'd've thought Athena would've actually managed to beat that stuff into him?"
"Alright, fine. That makes as much sense as anything else we've dealt with the last few months," Vanessa acknowledged grudgingly. "So what is this plan you've got in mind?"
"We've already done Step One: Put up enough of a fight for the essence that the Chans will be lured into a false sense of security. Now we're onto Step Two: make sure that that essence ends up in the hands of someone guaranteed to use it to cause chaos. With any luck, that part'll happen on its own, but if it doesn't by the time Kasahara gets back, we'll make sure to get it done," Eris answered, ticking off numbers on her fingers.
"And Step Three?" Hak Foo asked, baring his teeth in anticipation.
"Isn't it obvious, honey?" Eris asked, giving him a matching grin. "While the good guys are running around like headless chickens, I send my hunting dog out to catch a nice, juicy rabbit."
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"So you lost all the pearls to an ambush?" Chow asked, incredulous, between bites.
Jackie, Uncle, Tohru, Tremaine, and Captain Black had gathered around a table back at Section 13 to discuss the mission, and Prometheus and Hestia were quick to join them. Hestia set out a plate of orange-cranberry scones and honey butter, and the group had dug right in. As expected, the ex-Enforcers found their way into the room, pretending to find things to clean.
"Looks that way," Captain Black answered, wincing as Hestia finished tying a bandage around his wounded arm. He then smiled when Hestia delicately laid her palm on his hand, sharing a tender look with the goddess. "Shame we lost the pearls, but at least we all made it out-ow!"
The shout was caused by Uncle, who had swatted the captain with a well-placed finger strike. "Pearls not lost!" he snapped. "Jade may have escaped. Uncle will prepare locator spell!"
"Hey, lay off the captain, alright!" Tremaine shouted back, glaring at the old wizard. Meanwhile, Captain Black cringed in pain. That strike was harder than usual. In fact, Uncle seemed even more jittery than ever. He bustled around mixing reagents with a frantic energy, his hands flying across the table.
"He's got a point, though," Prometheus interjected, wringing his hands. Four weeks after sealing Eris, his missing pinkie was nearly three-quarters of the way restored. "As long as Kasahara didn't get away with them, you still have a chance."
"Can you not simply predict whether he did?" Tohru asked, giving the Titan a side glance.
"Gee, let me try it," Prometheus growled, putting his hands to his temples. "Hm...nothing on the paper man, but I predict early showers tomorrow and sunny the rest of the week. My powers don't work like that, sumo!" he snapped, slamming a fist onto the table. "I don't just pull the answers out of a hat, especially about things that have already happened!"
"What do you mean?" Jackie asked, prompting a sigh from the Titan.
"I'm a personification of Forethought; the future is easy, even being so drained, but it's much harder for me to work backwards. Hindsight is...not my strong suit," he muttered, tugging at his collar. "For that, you'd have to go to my brother."
"Wait, you have a brother?" Ratso asked, raising an eyebrow. By this point the former Enforcers weren't even pretending to clean. "How come you never mention him?"
"None of your business, Rutherford," Prometheus snapped, turning the full force of his glare on the hulking janitor. As Ratso recoiled, Tohru coughed lightly, drawing everyone's attention.
"Ahem...while we wait for Jade to return, we need to discuss what happened with Eris," he said calmly. "Somehow, she conjured up horrifying visions that fully immersed us. One moment I was fighting the Agents of Chaos, the next I was facing down Tarakudo!"
"Same here, but with Shendu," Jackie sighed. He cast an eye over his shoulder to his hyperactive uncle, who was still preparing his locator spell. "Uncle, what did she do to you?"
"Vision not important!" Uncle snapped back, spilling some of the mixture. "Was not real, so does not matter!"
"That's the spirit," Hestia said with a nod. "It sounds like Eris has gained access to the power of Phobos, the God of Fear. He and his brother Deimos would help sow confusion and terror on the battlefield. With this power, Eris can make your worst fears seem completely real, but you must remember, they are not."
"How did she gain access to this power?" Tohru asked, turning to Prometheus. "I can understand that they must have been incorporated into Ares's essence, but did you not seal that power?"
"Any seal's gonna have cracks in it, especially when you cast a spell on the fly," Prometheus admitted grudgingly. "She must've found some way to stimulate her own essence enough that she could reach some of the lesser essences Ares had eaten. I even told you that she'll tap into the powers sooner or later. That's why we need to be sure to get Aphrodite's power back ASAP; even one more essence, and we can say goodbye to the seal and to this entire base."
"And the whole world to boot," Tremaine muttered, leaning back in her chair. "This is the part where I'd say 'no pressure', but I honestly think we need it."
"So can we do anything now, or are we stuck waiting on Jade-" Captain Black began, only to be interrupted by Jackie's phone ringing.
"Jade?" Jackie gasped, immediately bringing it up to his ear. He sighed in relief when he heard her calmly reply with her typical "Hey, Jackie!" He immediately set it down and turned on the speaker. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"Better than Kasahara," she replied. Jackie could almost see her shrugging and giving a smug grin. "He's all washed up. Good news/bad news time, though. Good news is, he didn't get any of the pearls."
"Well, that's definitely a relief," Hestia admitted.
"Wait for the other shoe to drop," Prometheus warned.
"Bad news is, most of 'em rolled into the sewer. I got a few before that, but none of 'em look too...ya know, goddy."
"'Goddy'?" Captain Black repeated, rolling his eyes. "Do you really think you can tell?"
"This is Aphrodite that we're talking about," Prometheus told him. "I guarantee that the right pearl is a shimmering, multicolored beauty that's as close to perfect as it can get. If Jade says none of them look special, then she doesn't have it."
"Ai-yah!" Uncle screeched, rising from his chair. "We must be absolutely sure!"
"Ugh, no way am I climbing into the sewer again!" Jade growled. "I've already done that too many times! Besides, I'm gonna be late for school as it is."
"Tohru and I will search the sewers for the rest of the pearls," Jackie promised, standing and making his way over to the sumo. "Uncle, you go to the school and bring back any pearls she has, just in case."
"No! Uncle must search for pearls himself!" Uncle demanded, glaring at his nephew. "Tohru can handle domestic task!"
"Uncle, you're actually volunteering to search through sewage?" Jackie asked incredulously, before shaking his head. "No, really, you don't need to."
"Honestly, it's a good call," Jade said patiently. "Try and picture Big T fitting down a manhole."
After a few moments, everyone nodded in agreement, prompting Jackie to sigh. "All right Uncle, you can help me go through the sewers."
"Hot-cha! Uncle will begin preparing spells!" the old wizard cheered, setting aside the now pointless locator spell.
"Alright, we have a game plan. Let's get moving, everyone," Captain Black ordered. "And let's cast a wide net. We have no idea how far the right pearl may have traveled."
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Deep in the sewers of San Francisco, dozens of pearls spilled, bouncing in every direction before being swept away by the frigid water that had been blasted out of a fire hydrant above. Each one reflected some of the very limited light in the dank, smelly passage, a gleaming treasure amid filth.
A rat darted throughout its underground home, and its eyes shone as it spied a pearl, easily the most exquisite of the bunch, a perfect sphere of shimmering, mixed colors, ivory and hot pink and everything in between. The rodent seized the prize in its mouth and scurried away, escaping into the daylight to find a proper meal. It emerged from a nearby grate into the sunlight and found its way to an overflowing trash can. Reluctantly, it dropped its new prize and scurried into the bin, upsetting a plastic water bottle as it did. The bottle fell and struck the pearl, sending it rolling away, down one of San Francisco's many hills.
At the bottom, it struck the tire of a passing car and was launched into the air, off the helmet of a passing cyclist and back onto the sidewalk, where a curious pigeon took hold of the treasure and began flying back to its roost, only to be attacked by a hawk and drop the treasure, now clear across town from where it started, onto the sloped roof of a two-story house. The pearl rolled down, into the rain gutter and down onto the driveway, then out to the sidewalk into the middle of an argument.
"ANDREW! GET OUT HERE! I AIN'T WAITIN' ANY LONGER!"
"ALL RIGHT, MOM! SHEESH!"
The source of the argument was a mother and child, who were currently squaring off in front of their garage. The mother was a young black woman, slightly overweight, with dark hair tied in a braided weave, each braid dyed a different color of the rainbow. She was wearing her work uniform; a button-down shirt the same pristine shade of white as her crisply pleated slacks and laminated name tag, with the only color on her outfit coming from the bright decals on her shoes. Her arms were folded tightly over her chest, and there was a quiet rage in her chocolate-brown eyes as she impatiently tapped her foot. If that boy makes me late again… she thought angrily, glaring at the door.
Finally, the child stepped out of the house, a backpack slung over one of his narrow shoulders. He had the gangly look of a boy who had just grown significantly in a short period, tall and skinny, with noodly arms and legs. His skin, a little lighter than his mother's, was dotted with zits that he'd been futilely trying to cover, and his big nose and patchy peach fuzz didn't help. He tried to distract with style-cat's-eye glasses, flared jeans, and a fake letterman jacket had been placed in an attempt to gussy himself up. To complete the ensemble, his usual yellow cap was covering yet another bad hair day. Just once, just this Valentine's Day, can't I wake up looking good? Andrew Curtis, called Drew by everyone but his mother, thought as he stomped over to his mother's side.
Drew and his mom had been having this same basic argument every weekday for a month, an inevitable result of a puberty-addled child and a recently divorced parent. Every day, he would drag his feet getting ready for school just to tick her off, and she would yell at him for it. Both would try to establish dominance, and both would fail.
"Just once, Andrew, can't you make my life easier?" Mrs. Curtis sighed as she opened the door of her wood-paneled sedan.
Drew rolled his eyes, and in doing so, spotted something on the ground. Curious, he bent over and picked it up, rolling the small sphere in his hand. Something about it felt warm, right. Like a towel fresh from the dryer.
"Whatcha got there?" his mother asked, peering over.
Drew looked up from the pearl, clenching it in his fist.
"Nothing, mom."
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PA2: And that's the end of Chapter 14. As always, we appreciate your faves, follows, and reviews, but rather than our usual ending skit, we'd actually like to use this platform for something important. Our dear friend GPQ's home country of Myanmar is experiencing a true catastrophe since February 1st.
GPQ: For context, Myanmar was supposed to have started a new reign of democracy on that day but the military is like "Yeah we hate we don't get power" and usurped the head of the National League of Democracy and declared a "state of emergency" and are so power hungry and desperate to keep the charade up. At least Trump stepped down from office!
PA2: Barely, but that's a tangent we shan't tange today. Honestly, as messed up as people say things are over here in the States (and to be fair, they kinda are), we're really lucky.
GPQ: Lucky you guys haven't been under fire with a military coup and the coronavirus...and even rumors that the military is letting the virus be used as biological warfare to massacre innocent people in a disgusting equivalent to the anthrax bombs in Brave New World.
MP: Is it that bad?
GPQ: How do I put it? YES! 900 people dead (some being children), more than 90% of the country infected, thousands imprisoned (including children) and the general is so stuck up his own backside that he thinks he's living in George Orwell's 1984. Oh and because of the arresting doctors and his army hoarding oxygen, more and more people are dying every day and does the rest of the world care? No they do not. The price of eggs has increased so the poor can just die. They cut off most Internet services, many people have been displaced even worse than the Rohyinga crisis (look it up) and at this point, there is no goddamn hope in sight even with the US of A and their sanctions.
GPQ: Basically this shorty general is living like he's Big Brother mixed with Der Fuehrer, thinking that the votes were rigged and he can just choke the life out of Myanmar indefinitely (he was supposed to retire this year and now he's going to live on forever) but does the outside world even care? If they did, there'd be more pressure and petitions.
GPQ: A lot of foreign companies have basically backed out but China and Russia still remain and as long as they stick to General Asshole then we're doomed. And ASEAN is just sitting on their asses while the Western world is right to condemn them for being a bunch of bystanders seeing a child get murdered.
MP: We ask that you not ignore this travesty. Go online, spread the word however you can. Make and sign petitions for foreign aid. Donate to the IRC and UNICEF.
PA2: If you have friends who live in Myanmar, please check in on them. Most forms of social media have been banned in the country, giving them very limited access to both spread the word themselves and connect with the people who care about them. Don't assume that because you haven't heard anything, that they're either okay or that it's too late to reach out. Every action can make a difference to someone.
GPQ: Please contact politicians looking into the matter and sign onto campaigns to prevent Myanmar from getting money from businesses. Like Total and Chevron deciding to cut off money or jewelers who sell Myanmar jade and rubies. Don't line the pockets of Tatmadaw (Burmese Army of POSs) with ignorance.
MP: Injustice in one place affects the entire world. Don't ignore suffering.
PA2: And to that end, if you've read this entire note (and we hope that you did), please leave an acknowledgement in your review if you chose to leave one. Normally these skits are just for our own entertainment and can be taken or left, but this time, we really want people to show us that this message was heard. If you don't read a single other one of our opening and ending segments for the rest of the story's life, we'd rather you have read this one and done something with this information. With that, we'll see you next time for Chapter 15: Friday the 14th. Have a good day, everybody. And please, put some good into the world.