CAKE VS RU RUFF

Title Card

Ru Ruff angrily impales Cake's ear drum with a syringe filled with green liquid

Wildberry Prince opens up the large circular oven and takes out a baked cobbler with oven mittens on. He carries the dish over to the counter, sets it down as he takes off his oven mitts and places them in the bottom drawer. As he looks up at the cobbler he noticed a small slice was missing! He was very confused. "Oh well I'm sure it was nothing" he says to himself and continued to carry three beef cobblers over to our heroines Fionna and Cake who were sitting in the dining room area waiting patiently.

"You got a lot of meat, Wildberry Prince." Cake stated

"Yeah I know" the Prince replied cheerfully

"Thanks for cooking for us WB" Fionna said

"You're welcome Fionna, and thanks for answering my urgent summons."

"Yeah no problem! How can we aid thee?" The teenage girl asked as she ate a piece of cobbler

"Oh it's nothing really, someone's trying to kill me"

The heroines spat out the cobbler IMMEDIATELY and the meal flies into each other's mouth. Fionna gags in disgust

"It's no problem, really, finish your cobbler" Wildberry Prince insisted

"It IS a problem! And I demand deets!" Fionna demanded

"Oh, well if you insist" Wildberry Prince said. He walks over to the table and grabs a piece of paper with a small dagger

stabbed in it. "I suspect that I've been targeted by the Guild of Assassins." He continued

"How come?" Fionna asked

"I found this note stabbed to my door...woman" the note wrote: "Prince Wildberry, we're going to assassinate you. G.O.A."

Fionna gasped. She didn't know much about the Guild of Assassins but she figured that they weren't a joke. "Don't worry Prince! We vow to protect your meat, right Cake?" There was no response from Cake as she had her face buried inside the cobbler devouring the cobbler messily. "Uh Cake? C'mon Cake this is serious!" Fionna shouted.

Cake finally put down the cobbler and let out a large belch. "Oh yeah sorry, sometimes I think there's a hungry hippo in my stomach and that's why I'm hungry all the time" she mumbled out because she was talking with her mouth full. She giggled and went back to eating the cobbler messily.

Fionna was disgusted at her sister's manners (or lack of). "Uh Prince let's continue this conversation outside, I can't even look at her right now." She says as she and the Prince walk outside.

Cake finished her cobbler and wipes her mouth and eyes another cobbler, she realized that it was supposed to be Wildberry Prince's cobbler but she was feeling greedy so she had a crazy idea. The feline morphed her paw into a Wildberry Prince shaped puppet. "Prince, is it ok if I eat up your cobbler?" She then started to imitate the Prince's voice "Yes Cake, all my cobbler!" Cake starts to eat the cobbler and finds a small grey colored dog who appears to be a male. "Hehehehe. A tiny dog, now aren't you adorable!" Cake says. The dog growls angrily at Cake! "Whoa!" Cake yelled as the dog jumps on her face aggressively.

"Quite! Or you die!" He says as he points a green syringe at her.

Cake gasped. "So you're the assassin!" She realized

"Ru-Ruff, assassin! Second class, but once I murder a Prince, I graduate to full membership." The tiny dog says

"Well I ain't no Prince boy!"

"Yes, I know, but since you've blown my cover, you will slay Wildberry Prince!" said Ru Ruff

"What!? I'd rather be injected with poison!" Said Cake but she probably should have picked a better phrase because Ru Ruff had a syringe of poison in his hand.

Confused, Ru Ruff was willing to take the offer. "Oh, uh ok." He says as he lifts the syringe ready to stab Cake.

"Um, I mean, I will assassinate Wildberry Prince." Cake said. She had to think quick or her life would be gone.

"Good. Oh, and if you try to trick me, I'll poison you." Ru Ruff the climbs into Cake's right ear and it did not feel pleasant to have a murderous dog in her ear.

"My ear!" She says with a worried tone.

"Blagh! It's like garbage water up in here!" Ru Ruff yells angrily from inside the feline's nose.

Fionna and Wildberry Prince re enter. "You done in here Cake?" The Prince asked.

Cake knew she had to think of something fast. "Oh, uh, yeah. So, um, Wildberry Prince. So, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be killed. The uh, dead world could be nice?"

The Prince couldn't believe what he was hearing, he backed away nervously and scared for his life. "Why... would you say that?"

Fionna couldn't believe what she was hearing as well from her older sister. Why would she say that to someone they are trying to keep save? "Girl, are you trying to freak him out?" She asked as she walks up to Cake. "I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here." Cake responded. "Are you trying to freak me out?"

Cake then had an idea. "Uh, I'm sorry, Wildberry Prin...ce" she saw one of Wildberry Prince's bag of meat and grabbed his crown and put it on the bag of meat. "You should... let me... do something... and... it will be...good." Cake continues. Ru Ruff was confused at what was going on and stuck his head out of the ear to take a look. He sees the bag of meat and thinks it's the Prince! "Eat this, and that, how do you like this Prince?" Cake asks as she punches the bag of meat with her now enlarged paws.

"Um very... good?" WB replied although very confused. And so was Fionna.

"I'm gonna pick you up now and carry you... to the window!" Cake then carries the meat bag to the window... "Cake what are you... doing?" Fionna asked worryingly. "NO! STOP! PLEASE!" The Prince yells. Ru Ruff smiles at the sound of what he thinks is happening. Cake tosses the meat bag out the window and it goes splat! "Wildberry Prince is dead!" Cake exclaims! "Shhh" then gives them a thumbs up. Fionna and Wildberry Prince are speechless.

And with that Ru Ruff was very pleased. "You did it! I guess I'll be on my way." He goes to grab his syringe until he was caught by the sudden surprise!

"Prince! Oh Prince!" Two light blue colored banana guards ran in with relived faces. "You're alive! We saw your crown next to a pile of dirtied meat, then we skipped on the meat and I thought I tasted your juice, but it was just blood from the meat. We're so glad it wasn't actually you!" The second guard cried as they both go to hug Wildberry Prince.

From inside her ear Cake hears angrily yelling. "You liar!" Then he injects the inside of her ear with the poison. Cake groaned and collapses over as her skin turns slightly light green.

"Cake?" Fionna says as she worries for her older sister's predicament.

"Okay Cake! I've injected you with half the poison, which means you'll be dead in thirty minutes, unless you kill the prince, which is when I'll give you the antidote." He says as he lifts a tube of pink liquid in his other hand.

Cake felt like absolute crap. Her head started hurting and heart was beating fast. Cake gets up and grabs Fionna's shirt. "Fionna! Help me!" Cake muttered.

"What's wrong?"

Cake then hears Ru Ruff's voice. "If you say anything I'll stab you in the brain!"

"Uh... sing Dad's lullaby! I'm so tired Fionna, from the meat, please you'll have to lull me to sleep."

Fionna hesitated. She doesn't like to sing that particular song in public. "Uhhh..." were the only words she could form.

"I know you carry dad's music box around in your backpack Fionna!"

"Cake, I'm not going to sing mom's lullaby in front of other people..."

"Please, pleeeaaase!" Cake pleads while make cute little kitty eyes.

Fionna groans in annoyance. "Okay fine! Real quick while the Prince is distracted." She pulls out the music box and starts playing it. But not before Cake put a sausage in her left ear to draw out the sound. She can't hear from her right ear as Ru Ruff's presence is blocking sound from that ear.

"Don't be weepy sleepy kitties.

Slip your slippers on your footies.

In the morning you'll get goodies;

Kitty hats and Kitty hoodies.

Ru Ruff listens along and is slowly falling asleep. Wildberry Prince and his guards in the listen and like it in the background.

No stripes or polk-a-dots;

Heather grey and feather soft,

Baby pink or baby blue...

All the draw strings you can chew..."

As Fionna finishes singing she nearly falls asleep but Cake catches her thus waking her up. "Fionna there's an assassin in my ear and he poisoned me and is making me kill Wildberry Prince!" She whispered while yelling.

"Cake! Stop playing around! This is serious." Fionna yells as she puts the music box back in her backpack. Cake enlarges her paw and covers Fionna's mouth, and grabs some meat from one of the cobbler and spells out dog -- ear but it's very sloppy.

"Dog... here? Oh, a dog is here? Where is it? Dogs go bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark!! "Shh!" Cake whispers to Fionna.

Fionna, being the bratty little teenager she can be at times starts barking LOUDER. Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark! Which doesn't help Cake at ALL. Cake keeps trying to calm Fionna down but she continues barking. So Cake had to do what she had to do. She quickly grabbed Fionna and covered her mouth with her enlarged arms. She carried her younger sister over to the window. "Cake, Cake what are you doing?" Fionna managed to muffler from underneath Cake's arms. "Sorry" Cake says then throws her sister on to the bag of meat she has thrown earlier. "Ru Ruff? Still asleep?" Cake whispered.

"I'm gonna double cross Cake, and leave her to die." Ru Ruff muttered while still asleep.

"Okay... if I could grab that antidote..." she shrinks her paw and reaches into her ear and tries to grab the antidote. She hits Ru Ruff's face a few times but then finally grabs it. "Ah ha!"

"Kitty... hoodies..." Ru Ruff muttered while still asleep.

"I did it!" Cake whispered. But just then an angry Fionna walked through the door with the bag of meat in her hands! "WHAT THE HECK CAKE?!" She yelled as she threw the meat on the ground. "Nooo!" Cake whispered as she knew what was coming.

Ru Ruff quickly wakes up and sees Cake's tiny paw holding the antidote. "Treachery! Hi yah!" He injects Cake with more poison and she collapses and groans in agonizing pain. "Time's running out Cake, do you want the antidote or not?" Ru Ruff said.

Fionna walks over to Cake very confused by her sister's odd behavior. "What is wrong with you?" She asks

"Hey girl, everything's cool." Cake replies

"Everything is not cool, Wildberry Prince is still in danger!"

"Right, right. Hey let's take him somewhere safer we should uh..."

"Don't make me give you the rest!" Ru Ruff says.

"I know where to go Prince! Follow me." Cake walks out and the two follow her.

They were now on top of a high cliff and it was a beautiful sunny day outside. "Here, nobody can take us by surprise. Fionna, stand with your back to the cliff, I'll stay with WB... to do what must be done." Cake said. "Okay, cool." Fionna walked over and Cake was ready to do something she wished she didn't have to do. She watched Wildberry Prince play at the edge like he was gonna fall over. "Oh wow, look how close to the edge I am." He says. While Cake is trying to force herself to push him down. "Do it Cake... do it..." Ru Ruff whisperes in Cake's ear trying to get her to do it. But just then a bird noticed the sausage in Cake's ear and looked hungry. The bird flew over to Cake. "I probably shouldn't!" Cake says as she falls to her knees but just the the bird hits Cake knocking her over which causes Ru Ruff and the sausage to fall out her two ears. Ru Ruff falls right in front of Fionna.

"Wait what? Cake?" She looks over and sees Cake collapse.

"I'm full of poison." Were the only words she could form.

It was then Fionna realized what that message Cake had wrote in the castle was. "The assassin!" She yells.

"The name's Ru Ruff."

"If you let Cake die so help me I will kill you too!"

"We'll see about that!"

"Give me the antidote!" Fionna demanded

Ru Ruff jumps on Fionna's arm and runs around to her back and up her head in a comically long sequence demonstrating her size, he then jumps in a tree.

Fionna draws her ribbon sword from the little pocket patch on the right side her backpack and wields it. "Come out in the open face me you stupid dog!" She demanded

Ru Ruff spurs out a small knife into his hands, climbs down the tree and puts a small cut on Fionna's thigh, slices on of her backpack straps and puts a small cut on her cheek.

"Oh my!" WB said while watching on in horror.

Despite all this, Fionna felt no pain. "Give up Ru Ruff! You're only making my face look cooler!" She throws her sword but Ru Ruff dodged just in time and the sword is stuck in the tree.

"You're at my mercy!" Yelled Ru Ruff

"Ha. You think you're hurting me? With that tiny dagger?"

"We'll see who's laughing, when you're blind!" Ru Ruff jumps off the tree and aims for Fionna but the teenage human punches the dog kid air onto the tree. She goes to grab Ru Ruff as he holds out his knife sticking it into her hand. Fionna grunts in slight pain as she feels the knife but is still holding the small dog against the tree. "It's over! Give me the antidote!" The human demanded.

"What you mean this antidote?" Ru Ruff proceeds to break the antidote against the tree with a sinister smile on his face.

"No! You bum!" Fionna yells as she punches Ru Ruff out of her grip. "Cake come lick this tree bark!" Cake tries her best to crawl over but can't and falls down planting her face into the grass. Cake was feeling completely lifeless at this point.

"Forget it kid! I have Cake enough poison to kill anyone fifty times her size!"

"Oh no..." Fionna says as she starts to cry holding Cake. But wait? They both had just realized something! "Wait, oh yeah!" The duo said simultaneously. Cake grew big afterwards. "Cat liver times 51!"

"A magic cat? Noooooooooooo!" Yelled Ru Ruff as Cake shrinks down.

"How you feeling?" Fionna asks

"Big liver, big liver, yeah!!" Cake sings.

"You've ruined me! I have to wait a whole year to retake the assassins test!" Ru Ruff said angrily.

"How adorable!" Said Wildberry Prince "Why don't I make you the royal pet." Now he's had enough. He jumps at Wildberry Prince in an attempt to attack him barking like crazy but just then the berrys pop off him causing Ru Ruff to fly off the cliff entirely. Now Wildberry Prince just look like some small berry.

"Wow. Nice defense mechanism WB!" Fionna said

"Are you naked?" Cake asked.

"No, this is a medical condition I need a hospital" The Prince replies

"We all need a hospital" Cake says.

They all laugh as they walk off.

Ru Ruff can be seen in the back riding a bird. "I'll be back..."

Trivia

This the first appearance of the Wildberry Kingdom