Yorkshire, England – Reality

Gwen grinned over the top of her mug as John returned to the kitchen, the sounds of Anna taking the stairs the only sound between them. John held the edge of the counter, trying and failing to avoid Gwen's stare and growing smile. "Good night then?"

"It was, yes." John rolled his shoulders back. "How was holding down the fort here?"

"Comparatively quiet." Gwen finished her mug. "And certainly not nearly as exciting as your night was."

"I should hope not." John jerked his head back toward the sitting room. "They could break a hip with activity like that."

"They certainly could." Gwen pulled a face, "But that doesn't mean old people don't still have sex."

"Don't I know it." John shuddered, "Some things you should only ever know as facts and not have to confront as an image."

"That's disgusting." Gwen mimed vomiting off to the side before beginning to gather her things. "But I am, sincerely, glad you both had a good time last night."

"Thank you."

"For the compliment or…" Gwen frowned and John shook his head.

"For all your help." He jerked his thumb up toward the ceiling, "It's partially, if not arguably, all thanks to you that I got as far as I did."

"All I did was recommend a restaurant." Gwen pushed a mug over the countertop toward John. "You did the rest of it."

"You helped get the whole idea off the ground."

"Maybe but knowing the way she already liked you, I'm sure you could've seduced her with fish and chips." Gwen shrugged up a shoulder as if to say 'no big deal'. "We both know the food was only the excuse."

"Sure but…"

"No," Gwen held up a finger to stop John continuing an argument. "Anna's absolutely into you and she would've bent over backwards because of how you made her feel."

"I…" John stopped himself, swallowed, and started over. "All that being said, I think Anna seduced me more than I did her."

"Exactly my point." Gwen pointed at John, "The effort is because you know it's worth the expense. We sacrifice to make things happen and no effort in that direction is wasted if we want what's waiting for us at the end of the line."

"True enough." John sighed, "And I think she's worth it."

"I know she is." Gwen checked over her things. "Alright, I think I have everything which means I'm off. So, have fun and try not to make it awkward here now."

"Awkward?"

"Because of your change of relationship." Gwen shivered dramatically. "I don't want any of that cuddling, cute stuff. Keep it safe for children here."

"I, madame," John put a hand to his chest and affected a posh accent, "Am a professional and refuse to believe I would be anything but while I'm in a professional space."

"We'll see how you survive the temptation." Gwen winked and clicked her tongue at John. "See you later John."

"Have a good day Gwen." John waved her off and turned to the kitchen to check over the morning medications and the meal planning menu on the fridge. It was only as he closed the door, performing a perfunctory inventory of the ingredients, that John noticed Mary Crawley standing there. Jumping slightly, and swallowing hard, John nodded at her. "Morning Mrs. Talbot."

"Morning Nurse Bates." She eyed him, her focus narrowing on him a moment as her lips pursed. "Glad you could make it today."

"I didn't have intentions not to."

"Some would've forgiven you being a little late."

"That would be unprofessional."

"I'm sure it would be." Mary walked around the island, closing the distance between them as she continued to study him. "But I've other questions about professionalism that will require something more than the 'letter-of-the-law' answers you've already given."

John forced himself to swallow again. "I wasn't aware that I had said something incorrect in the answers I've given."

"No, they're very correct. Almost like someone on a witness stand coaxed to ride the line so they don't incriminate themselves." Mary folded her arms over her chest. "It's very practiced. Is that a class they teach you when you're in medical school?"

"No and in case your next question is if I've ever had to be coached to speak like that, I've never been in court."

"I'd know if you had. I did a very thorough background check on you and I made sure you didn't have any medical malpractices suits in your professional history."

"Then may I get us both to the point so we stop beating around the bush?" John took a breath, "What seems to be the bee in your bonnet, Mrs. Talbot?"

"You took Anna on a date last night and, since you only returned her this morning, slept with her… presumably."

"We're both consenting adults."

"True but you were hired as a caretaker in this house and her care was part of that agreement." Mary held up a hand to stop John's ready argument. "I know that she's not the primary receiver of care and, for the most part, doesn't need anything from you in that regard but you are charged with her care. That, to me, represents a conflict of interest if you're in charge of overseeing her and seeking a romantic relationship with her."

John chewed the inside of his cheek a moment. "That's true."

"Do you see the conflict of interest here?"

"I do and so did Anna. Since it didn't bother her we-"

"But it does bother me, Nurse Bates." Mary stood straighter. "Not that you're seeing her, I like that she's happy and seems happy with you and anything else… romantic, is none of my business then."

"Then what about it bothers you?"

"The fact that you've an obligation to her care. And I don't mean sexually." Mary let out a breath. "Since that is the case, I'll have to reconsider your contract."

"Are you unsatisfied with my work thusfar?"

"No but I won't put myself in a position to be legally liable for anything." Mary offered John a small smile. "Don't worry Nurse Bates, I'm not firing you."

"Is this an official reprimand?"

"No, it's a reevaluation of duties and the parameters of your job here."

John frowned, "Would that mean I'm not, officially, the nurse for Ms. Smith?"

"I don't think you were ever, officially, her nurse but it made it convenient to have you here." Mary shrugged, "And she likes the company. It can get very lonely for her."

"She's not mentioned being lonely."

"She wouldn't." Mary's face fell slightly. "She likes to keep things like that to herself. She doesn't want to burden anyone."

John nodded, his fingers flexing a moment before he curled them into his palm. "May I ask you a… A potentially invasive question?"

"Is it about Anna's condition?" John nodded and Mary sighed, "I'm sure she told you the bare bones of it. The parts and details that make it seem like an accident and her valiant triumph in the aftermath."

"That's about the size of it."

"Then what Anna failed, on purpose, to mention was why we were in my car that night." Mary moved to take a seat on one of the stools and John shuffled in place a moment before shifting to another of the stools. "Anna helped me out of a very tight place once and I was trying to return the favor… and then bungled it rather badly."

She opened her mouth, shut it, swallowed, and finally spoke. "When Anna and I were at Uni, I got involved with an exchange student. I didn't think anything of it but he thought quite a bit of me. When he pressed his advantage I tried to fight him off and… And he died."

John blinked at her, "You…"

"Apparently, according to the coroner's report, he had an underlying heart condition and if you hit the chest in a precise spot you can trigger a spasm that stops the muscle." Mary shrugged at John's confusion. "That's all I know from what I learned later. It was a one-in-a-million shot and it just so happened that the hell of my hand impacted where his already weak heart was weakest and it stopped beating."

"And they couldn't revive him?"

"No." Mary sucked the insides of her cheeks for a moment. "I tried, Anna tried, and the paramedics tried but none of us had any luck. He died and there was a scandal for awhile about it all but Anna kept my part in it to herself and helped keep the lie that we were just studying."

"But if he was-"

"I'm sure what you're about to say is that his death was a case of self-defense, and you're not wrong, but this was almost fifteen years ago and the world wasn't quite ready to be on my side about something like that." Mary shuddered, "And certainly not his parents, the Ambassadors for Turkey."

"Oh." John rubbed the back of his neck, "So you wanted to repay the favor to Anna?"

"Anna and I hadn't been close before that. We knew one another, we were from the same town, and we went to the same University so we thought we wouldn't make back flatmates but that was the day we bonded." Mary snorted, "It's fascinating what binds people together. Especially since, from that moment on, we were almost attached at the hip. I went to her with everything."

"And when she needed something she came to you?"

Mary nodded. "It's not my secret to tell, at least not the details of what happened to her, but I can say that when she needed me to help her get away from a bad situation I didn't hesitate."

"So you were driving away from something?"

"Yes we were." Mary cringed, "Unfortunately this was when I was between husbands. Both of them are much better than I am about keeping cars in order and I hadn't done the best of jobs trying to maintain mine. So when the roads are slick, visibility is low due to rain, and you find yourself pressing on a brake and nothing happens, you start to wish you'd paid more attention to your brake pads."

John coughed, "You didn't have reliable brakes?"

"What a horrible time to discover it." Mary shook her head, "In the game of 'what-if', I promise you I've raked myself over the coals on that one many a time."

"I wasn't going to-"

"You'd be within your rights to ask about it and to think what you like about how my negligence lost my friend her sight."

"Ms. Smith…" John flexed his jaw, "She'd mentioned that you let her live here because you feel guilty about what happened."

"I did and I still do." Mary pointed at herself, "It was my car and my responsibility to maintain it so I could drive it. I got lazy and, when my friend needed me, I-"

"Was there for her." John looked up and Mary turned on her stool to see Anna standing in the doorway. "I won't have you castigating yourself in your retelling Mary."

"It's not castigation." Mary stood, "It's the truth."

"It's part of the truth." Anna moved into the kitchen, Bernie at her side. "The truth of it all, John, is that Mary was there when I needed her to be. The consequences of that night were just the ones that happen when events collide in unfortunate ways."

"You've always very forgiving."

"I believe it's the best way to be." Anna moved forward, Bernie helping her stop just short of running into Mary, and put out her hand. Mary grabbed it and Anna squeezed her grip. "You saved me that night Mary, that's the beginning and the end of that story."

"It's not but I'll leave whatever else there is to it for you to tell." Mary gripped Anna's hand for another second and then released it to turn and face John. "I'll have your contract redrawn and, if convenient, I'd like you to sign it before you leave today."

"I'm at your whim Mrs. Talbot."

"I doubt that very much." Mary took a breath and left the room.

John did not speak as Mary's steps ascended the stairs and jumped slightly when Bernie's nose nudged his hand. "Hey there."

"I think he smells me on you and it's confusing him." Anna gave a little laugh as her hand found the counter and her foot inched along the floor to find a stool. Her hand waved out to catch the edge and she felt around it, judging the dimensions for a moment before pulling it toward her. A moment later she sat across from John with a smile on her face. "Although I don't think you'd smell like me anymore."

"Part of me would hope not, since it'd be unprofessional."

"And if professionalism didn't enter into it?"

John leaned forward, his fingers moving over Anna's hand as he put his lips to her ear. "If we're speaking personally, I wish I still smelled like you."

"Me too." Anna's breath barely graced his neck but he shivered all the same. "Too bad you smell like your bodywash."

"Then you smell like me."

"Maybe that's what's got Bernie so confused." Anna gave another little laugh but turned her hand in his to hold onto him when John pulled back. "We smell alike."

"That's a nice thought." John scooted his stool closer to Anna, keeping his hand in her grip, and sighed. "Not sure how much of all that you heard but-"

"You're not fired are you?"

"No." John shook his head, "But the contract's being redrawn to reflect the change in my status in the household."

"You make it sound so boring when you say it like that."

"It's the semantics of it." John's fingers brushed over Anna's skin. "Sorry if I made this awkward for you."

"I feel like I should be saying that to you." Anna offered him another smile, "I'm sorry this became a conflict of interest for you."

"Not at all."

"No?"

"No." John licked his lips and leaned forward to whisper in Anna's ear again. "I'm just disappointed that I know how to better care for you now and it's no longer up to me."

"Oh Nurse Bates," Anna shivered, "I know that's not true at all."

"No?"

"Absolutely not." Anna's fingers stroked over John's hand before she slipped loose from his grasp. "When the ladies are down for their afternoon nap, come find me and I'll show you just how much you can care for me now."

"You say things like that and it makes it difficult for me to do my job."

"And how's that?" Anna stood and Bernie moved immediately to her side, his head under her hand without a word.

"Because it's difficult to walk in my condition."

"Because your scrubs are a little too tight now?"

"Yes." John kept his voice low and groaned slightly when Anna only gave a light laugh. "That's not making it better."

"Who said I wanted to make it better?" Anna turned carefully, wending her way out of the kitchen under Bernie's unerring guidance. "At least, not now."

"You're a cruel, cruel woman Ms. Smith."

"It's been said." Were Anna's only words before she went out the door.

London, England – Caustically Beautiful

Shifting in place, John rubbed one hand over the other. Anna gave him a look out of the side of her eye before shaking her head. "Stop fidgeting, you're making me nervous."

"I'm making you nervous?" John nodded his head at their surroundings. "This doesn't make you nervous?"

"I grew up in neighborhoods like this one." Anna pursed her lips and raised her knuckles to rap the door again. "This is like coming home."

"I'm sure when you lived here before, you didn't have someone like him with you." Both of them jumped slightly, turning to look down the steps to see a woman standing at the bottom with a grocery bag clutched in one of her hands.. "Now what are the two of you doing standing on my stoop?"

"Mrs. Philpot?" Anna descended the stairs before John could step in front of her. "I'm Anna Smith. My associate here should've mentioned I wanted to meet with you."

"He did and it's 'miss', I never married." The woman eyed Anna up and down. "You look familiar and not in a way that makes me feel comfortable."

"We've not before."

Ms. Philpot's lips pursed. "But we've been in one another's vicinity before?"

"Yes but I've like to meet, officially." Anna extended her hand to Ms. Philpot who, after a moment, took it and shook hesitantly.

"Officially?" Ms. Philpot lifted an eyebrow. "Are you from the government?"

"Not in the slightest."

"I thought not." Ms. Philpot took her hand back. "You've got too much fashion sense for that. In fact, a bit too much."

"It's a side effect of my industry." Anna rolled her shoulders back to stand straighter. "I was wondering if I could speak to you."

"So the man on the phone mentioned when he asked me to meet with you." She leaned to look around Anna and size up John. "That'd be you, yeah?"

"That's me." John pointed over his shoulder at the door. "Mind if we speak inside?"

"Not at all." Ms. Philpot shifted between them to the door to open it and allow their trio inside her house. "The neighbors are already gawking."

John followed Anna inside, his head immediately on revolve to investigate the space. After a moment he caught Ms. Philpot's eye and rolled his shoulders to stand straighter. She snorted at him, "I'm not hiding assassins in my house."

"I didn't think you were."

"But you're eyeing up my fake fireplace and polyester chairs like there might be ninjas crouched in the corners." Ms. Philpot snorted to herself. "Like I could afford anyone else in this house."

"Be that as it may, I'm Ms. Smith's bodyguard." John motioned about him. "It's my job to be ready to ensure her safety."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have asked to meet me at my house if you're worried for her safety." Ms. Philpot turned the tight corner to her kitchen and lifted her grocer's bag onto the counter. "This neighborhood's not exactly the place to come if you're not from here or if you don't know anyone here."

"We know you." Anna pointed at her but Ms. Philpot only snorted at her and gave a mirthless chuckle.

"We don't know one another, Ms. Smith. And we'll not have time to know one another here since we don't have time to talk."

"Then why did you-" John frowned but Ms. Philpot spoke over him.

"I said we could meet now because it's the only slot of time I have in a week of double shifts. And one of those shifts starts in two hours so please speak quickly and directly because I've still got stuff to finish before I go."

"Then I'll be brief, Ms. Philpot." Anna stepped forward. "I want your permission to speak on your son's behalf at his probation hearing."

Ms. Philpot stopped, her hand wrapped around a can of soup, and she pivoted to face Anna. John watched the flex of her fingers and shifted to a ready stance but relaxed when Ms. Philpot lowered the can to the countertop. Her jaw worked under leathery cheeks for a second as the confusion shifted and morphed through different layers and versions until her face settled for a blank.

"And why, Ms. Smith, would you want to do that?"

"Because…" Anna took a breath, "Because I should've spoken for him seven years ago and I didn't."

Ms. Philpot's frozen face narrowed and then softened as her mouth formed an 'O' shape. She nodded and raised a finger, pointing at Anna. "I know how I know you now. You're the widow."

Anna shrugged a shoulder. "I've been called worse."

Ms. Philpot leaned on the counter and studied Anna. "What do you want?"

"Sorry?"

"What do you want?" Ms. Philpot repeated and John caught the different confusions on the faces of the two women. Anna's held a befuddled confusion while Ms. Philpot's features tightened in suspicious confusion.

"I don't want anything." Anna shook her head, "Except to speak on your son's behalf."

"After seven years you come to my house, under the pretense of speaking on my son's behalf, and you claim you don't want anything." Ms. Philpot gestured to the tiny house around her. "I've got nothing for you to take. I've nothing of value and with my two jobs I'm barely keeping ahead of the bill men so you tell me what you've come for."

"I've come…" Anna frowned, "I came because I need your help to get on your son's visitation list. I want to speak to him before I speak for him but I need someone to speak for me first."

"You want me to tell my son that the wife of the man he's in prison for killing wants to talk to him?" Ms. Philpot gave another mirthless snort. "You think he'll believe me?"

"I just want to talk to him." Anna shifted in place. "I'm not here for anything else."

"And why do you want to speak to my son?" Ms. Philpot stepped toward Anna and while John shifted to stand in front of her he stopped when Anna held out her hand. The other woman stood nose-to-nose with Anna and John noted they were roughly the same age… At least physically. Life aged them so differently that Anna appeared younger than Ms. Philpot but the strength in their stances proved equal.

"Because I think he deserves another chance."

"You do?" Ms. Philpot's eyes narrowed and then widened a moment. Her finger wagged in Anna's face. "That's where else I recognize you from. I knew it wasn't just the courtroom. It's been too long for that. You're the fashion designer now. The one who was on Simply Sampson."

"That would be me."

"You look different when you're not in a dress made of cling-wrap."

"I feel different when I'm not in a dress made of cling-wrap." Anna sighed, "Ms. Philpot, I'm not here to intimidate you or-"

"Your hunk of muscle here says differently." Ms. Philpot jerked her thumb in John's direction. "What purpose does he serve if not to tell me that he'll make sure you get what you're here to get?"

"He's here because I've got some crazy fans out there who make life difficult for me." Anna shook her head, "And he's a bit more experienced with life than I am."

"He looks young enough to be your son."

"Be that as it may," John noted the twitch of a muscle in Anna's jaw at the words. "He helped me arrange this meeting because I didn't know what to say over the phone. I didn't have the words to explain why I'm here over the phone and-"

"Are you here for you?"

Anna blinked at her, "What?"

"Are you hoping to talk to Coulson for your good or for his?"

"Maybe for us both." Anna looked down at her fingers before meeting Ms. Philpot's eyes again. "When it all happened, I was a mess. I knew that your son's intention wasn't to kill my husband and what happened that night scarred him about as much as it did me, if not more. But I couldn't face it then. I didn't have the presence of mind to stand against the prosecutor who wanted to make an example of your son and I'm sorry."

Ms. Philpot's face softened for a moment. "And you're hoping to correct that now?"

"I'm hoping I can tell him that I understand. And…" Anna sucked the insides of her cheeks and sniffed. "That's for me, I'll be honest. I need to face your son and tell him that I don't hold anything against him because I need that. What I hope it gives him is a measure of peace as well. And I want to speak on his behalf because I should've then and I didn't but I can now."

Ms. Philpot took a step back and studied Anna for another moment before nodding. "I'll talk to Coulson. He'll make a decision and I'll let you know what that decision is."

"That's all I can ask and more than I can expect." Anna reached into her purse and handed over a card. "That's my direct number. Call or text, whichever you prefer, and let me know at your convenience."

Ms. Philpot took the card and pursed her lips. "They gave you a nice little place over in your side of town."

"I burned the last one down so it's generous of them to offer me another."

"If one of the kids in this neighborhood burned a building down they'd be in prison as long as my son is." Ms. Philpot shook her head and met Anna's eyes again. "Do you feel guilty enough about that to talk to the kids out there too."

"Do you want me to?" Anna did not flinch at Ms. Philpot's scoff. "I'm not here to discuss the unfairness of our situations, Ms. Philpot. I'm here to ask if you'd be kind enough to allow me the chance to speak with your son. The rest of life's unfairness we'll have to discuss at a later date if you can find the time."

"And you'd do that?"

"I'd do what I can." Anna shrugged, "I can't solve life's injustices but I can do my best to try and solve this injustice."

"It's not much."

"But it's what I can do." Anna took a breath, "Please let me know, when you can, what the decision is Ms. Philpot. I'll be waiting for your call."

"Well," Ms. Philpot tucked the card into her pocket. "It won't be for at least another week or two. I've got work and his visiting time doesn't always align with my days off."

"I'm not in a rush and, if I'm not mistaken, the probation hearing isn't for another two months so I can wait." Anna stood still for a second before nodding. "Thank you for your time, Ms. Philpot."

"Can't say it was a pleasure to give it to you but I've have people waste my time for less so at least this wasn't wasted." Ms. Philpot nodded in the direction of the door. "I hope you don't think me rude if I tell you where the door is. I've got things to do before my shift so I'm all out of pleasantries."

"You've been more than generous with your time." Anna jerked her head at John and turned on her heel to walk to the door. Once there she turned over her shoulder to address Ms. Philpot. "Thank you, again, for your time. I know it's valuable."

"It's mine. One of the few things that are."

Anna did not respond to that, only offered a small smile as John opened the door for her and followed her out onto the street. They walked together, John's head on revolve until they reached the car. Once he opened the door, and Anna slid inside, John followed and rapped his knuckles on the divider to signal the driver.

"Back to the studio please." John faced Anna as she tugged at her fingers with her hands in her lap. "Are you alright?"

"I'm nervous." Anna held up her hands and John noted the tremors there. "Isn't that odd? I wasn't nervous going there or talking to her but now that it might happen… I don't know what to think or do now."

"You're feeling the adrenaline aftereffects." John nodded at her. "It's your body trying to diffuse the energy it built up for your fight-flight-freeze response it prepped."

"But I wasn't fighting."

"Your body didn't know that. It thought you were preparing to fight because of the stress you built up around the meeting." John stretched back into his seat. "I thought you handled yourself rather well, if you want my opinion about it all."

"Thank you." Anna gave him a small smile. "And thank you for being there for me."

"I didn't do much."

"But you were there." Anna tapped her fingers against themselves, her nails clicking slightly. "And you know what all of that meant to me so… It means a lot to have someone on my side for this."

"I'm privileged you allowed me to be there." John chewed the inside of his cheek. "If… When you do meet with him-"

"You think she'll let me?"

"I think she wants what's best for her son."

"You do?"

John nodded, "She reminds me a lot of my mother. The living situation, the tiredness, and bit of anxiety that runs toward panic on occasion… It's the mark of a woman who's a mother who loves her son and she's going to do what's best for him. Despite what she may feel about you, she's going to trust your intentions and let you see her son."

"Because your mother would do it?"

"Because my mother always did what was best for me and Ms. Philpot knows, for now, that you're what's best for her son." John shrugged, "Or I misread her entirely and I'm full of shit."

Anna snorted a laugh, "If you think so then I'll trust that."

"Thank you." John swallowed, "What'll you do when you meet with him?"

"I'll apologize for not standing up for him the first time and then…" Anna took a breath, held it, and then released it in a rush. "I don't know. I just… I know I need to fight for him. Someone has to fight for him and it has to be me."

"And then what?"

"If they release him I want to help him get on his feet. To find a place he can get back into the world. And if they don't…" Anna see-sawed her shoulders. "I'll see if I can keep visiting him. Maybe it'll do us both a lot of good."

"I think it might." John got comfortable. "But I guess you'll be the judge of how much good it does for you."

"I guess I will." Anna clicked her tongue and pulled out her phone. "Huh."

"Something wrong?"

"My fire line dropped today." Anna flicked her thumb through a few pictures before tucking her phone away. "The show's next week but, so far, the reviews for the preview pieces seem good."

"I guess your appearance on Simply Sampson worked better than you expected."

"Negative press being better than no press at all?"

"I think you piqued interest when you proved as fiery as your line."

"Fiery?" Anna raised an eyebrow and John swallowed when she crossed one leg over the other. "Is that what you think of a woman old enough to be your mother?"

"But you're not my mother so your age really isn't an issue for me." John rolled his shoulders back. "And yes, I'd describe you as fiery."

"I'll take that compliment, Mr. Bates." Anna craned her neck back to study him. "And I'd take you, if you were offering."

"I'm on duty at the moment but I thought we decided that it wasn't going to happen because you didn't want to catch feelings and I wasn't interested in being a…" John smiled as he said it, "I believe the term is 'shag hag' but I'm not sure what you'd call it."

"Feck buddy, to be honest." Anna shrugged, "But I think I might need to reevaluate the kind of relationship I'd want with you after all that."

"I think the determination would be if you want a 'relationship' because I don't think it'd be healthy for it to be anything less."

"No?"

John shook his head, "If we're just shagging then the temptation is for the next hit of pleasure. If it's more than that, then I'm keeping on the lookout. The risk with only the physical is that all you think about is the physical. If you want more than that, you think about more."

"Spoken like a true philosopher."

"Spoken like someone who would want something more than just pleasure that lasts a night or two." John opened his hands. "But I leave it to you."

"Ball's in my court then?"

"I think it always was."

"Alright then." Anna leaned back into her seat, "I guess we'll have to see about that too and we'll find out where it goes together."

"I can wait."