London, England – Caustically Beautiful

John rubbed at his wrist, just above the line of his watch, and took a deep breath. Beside him Anna flicked through a magazine and shook her head before taking a note of something. When John went to rub at his wrist again she set down her magazine and half-turned to him.

"If you take another deep breath like you need to flush your sinuses then I'm going to ask you to wait outside."

"And why's that?"

"Because it's distracting and annoying." Anna eyed him until John stilled. "Thank you. I can't relax with you shuffling like you're about to release an electric surge."

"Maybe I will." John shuffled in the plastic chair when Anna raised her eyebrow at him. "It's… Prisons make me uncomfortable."

"They're supposed to." Anna turned back to the magazine and made another note. "The décor is a deterrent for those visiting. A warning not to join the inmates."

"That's not what troubles me about this place."

Anna frowned and lowered her magazine. "Then what's troubling you about this place to the point you're practically vibrating in your seat?"

"It's too contained. Not enough exits." John motioned vaguely around them, catching the eye of one of the guards. "This place is made to keep people in and that means it's difficult to get out of if you need to do that in a hurry."

"Are you worried that you'll need to get out of here in a hurry?" Anna's jaw barely flexed but John caught the motion and his eyes even flicked down to catch sight of her fingers flexing as if she would reach out to put her hand on his arm.

"I'm always worried about things like that." John shrugged, "It's the side effect of the job I chose to do."

"But you didn't really chose to do this job, did you?" John frowned and Anna continued. "You're supposed to be running a bar right now aren't you?"

"In theory, yes." John shook his head, "Not that I've proved very good at that in the end so… Here I am."

"Then you're escaping something by being here."

"I thought you'd already noticed that." John checked his phone and then tucked it back into his pocket. "You are a very observant person."

"To a degree, maybe." Anna officially closed the magazine and tucked it to the side. "I'm sure you've noticed that I've been running from things as well."

"You've been buried in your office for days."

"Not that." Anna shook her head in an almost spasm motion, as if trying to flick away an unwanted thought. "It's… This."

Her hand waved to the space around them and John clocked the guard watching them again as Anna continued. "Me being here. It's important and I should've done it a long time ago but it's a smokescreen."

"For what?"

"For facing reality." Anna turned slightly in her chair to face John. "For facing you. For facing the world. For facing the responsibilities I have."

"Isn't this you taking action and responsibility for something?"

"Yes. But it's something I've decided to do so I don't have to do the other things yet. It's a stop-gap. A delay tactic." Anna let out a breath and almost seemed to sag into her chair. "My whole life has felt like a stop-gap measure."

"Do you truly believe that?"

"Only on the days when I ask what I've done for the world that's actually of value." Anna lifted the magazine and flicked a finger against it so the snap of her nail against the glossy cover made John blink as he unconsciously flinched. "What is this but a waste of marketing profiting off people being afraid of not being enough? What am I but a contributor to that industry?"

"I think you're taking yourself to task a little too hard." John put his fingers on the magazine and tugged just enough that Anna's grip loosened and he replaced it on the table between them. "Maybe your job doesn't solve world hunger or stop war, but it's not nothing. It's not entirely empty."

"No?"

"Do you think creativity is empty?" Anna frowned at him and John held up his hands as if surrendering. "It's an honest question."

"Then no, I don't think creativity is empty."

"Alright then." John swallowed, "Do you believe you offer something to the world by giving it a dose of your creativity?"

"I'd like to think so."

"Do you think you're going to offer a step in the right direction for this boy, here and now?" John waited, noting the twitch of the muscles in Anna's jaw. "Or perhaps that you've allowed a change of thought for some people as you've continued your bold media campaign against the people who think less of you?"

"You say that like I'm on a crusade to paint the town red with their blood."

"I'm sure the shutdown of Simply Sampson , especially now that people know what kind of scum Sampson is, served as a tipping point for some people to feel more confident in themselves and to make changes." John shrugged, "Not everyone has that level of reach you know."

"It's moments like these, when I remember the reach I have, that I wonder if I've used it well." Anna bit at her lip and eyed John. "Do you think I've used it well?"

"I think you're using it better now that you know you can."

Anna gave a little snort, "Do you want to take any credit for that?"

"Maybe I should but I won't." John stood at the nod from the guard at the door and extended a hand to help Anna stand. "It's all yours."

"It's not all mine. It can't be." Anna squeezed John's hand before releasing it. "It's partially yours and I want to thank you. For all you've encouraged in me."

"You had it in you to be this all along." John shrugged, "You just needed someone willing to tell you that you had it in you."

"Then I'll thank you for that." Anna rolled her shoulders back as she steeled herself. "Do I look ready for this?"

"Do you want to look ready for this?"

"I don't want to look like I'm pissing myself."

"You don't look like you're pissing yourself."

"Then let's go." Anna cracked her neck. "We wouldn't want to keep anyone waiting."

John trailed Anna through the two hallways that took them to the visiting area. Round steel tables, bolted to the floor, spread out in a seemingly confused pattern but they managed to fit as many of them into the open space as possible. The space between the circular stools, also bolted to the floor, offered little room for sitting and even less room between them for movement. It meant that as the guard led them through the space they were constantly walking sideways or begging excuses from the people they accidently bumped on their way to their seat.

Their seat was a table where a young man waited, a foot absently tapping on the floor while one of his hands smoothed over the back of his head. His head jerked up when Anna sat down and John watched the way the young man studied Anna. With each pass of his eyes, the furrows in his forehead deepened and only extended when he noted John sitting down next to Anna.

"Who are you all then?"

"I'm Anna Smith and this is my bodyguard, John."

The young man snorted at them before jerked his head behind him in the direction of the guards standing with their heads on swivels to keep the entirety of the room in view. "I think you could've left your beefy boy outside. They've got you covered, if you're worried about the dirty prisoners roughing you up in here."

"I'm not worried about that." Anna shook her head, "I'm worried more about what would happen if I left him in the waiting room."

The young man gave another snort, "Paces like a madman does he?"

"Something like that." John shrugged. "I don't like places like this."

"Is it the décor?"

"It's the idea that there's only one exit and I can't guarantee that I can leave at will."

"I would what it's like to go somewhere and then not have the chance to leave. Must be a real shame for you." The young man shuffled on his seat. "So why are you bringing me out here to chat about things I can't do?"

"We're not here to chat about things you can't do."

He raised an eyebrow, "Then why am I out here?"

"You're out here, Mr. Philpot, because…" Anna started, swallowing as she paused, "Can I call you Coul instead of 'Mr. Philpot'?"

"You can call me whatever you want." He pulled at the side of his shirt, tugging it to flash the printed numbers at Anna and John. "I'm just a number to the people here so I'm not exactly sure it could get worse for me."

"What if there was a way it could get better?" Anna leaned forward and John kept his eyes on Coul. "What if I could offer you a chance for something better?"

"You?"

"Me." Anna shrugged at Coul's furrowed brow. "I'm serious."

"Are you?" Coul narrowed his eyes at her, his lips pursing. "What are you playing at?"

"I'm not playing at anything."

"People like you, with the money and reputation you have, are always playing at something. Especially when it comes to people like me."

"I can assure you that I'm not playing at anything. I'm being serious." Anna shifted in her seat. "I want to offer you a chance at a new life."

"A new life?" Coul sniffed and shifted on his seat, "How are you going to do that?"

"I plan on doing that by speaking on your behalf at your parole hearing."

"And why would you do that?" Coul's face screwed up in confusion. "You don't know me. You don't have any reason to speak at my hearing."

"I do, actually, and I should've done that when you were first sentenced."

"Why would you do that when I was first sentenced?" Coul's face scrunched further, his confusion turning into an intense study of Anna. "Did you know me back then?"

"I knew enough about you back then." Anna took a breath, "But I guess you don't recognize me from that night."

Coul frowned and then his face went slack. His eyes widened and his jaw fell until John had the impulse to put his fingers to Coul's neck to check his pulse and make sure the young man was still breathing. But after a moment his jaw worked again, pivoting on the hinge as if someone was checking the capability of the door by swinging it back and forth. He leaned back slightly, as if trying to escape Anna's reach, and shook his head.

"I didn't… I didn't mean to… I didn't recognize… I should've known you'd…"

"It's fine." Anna put up a hand. "I'm not here for recriminations or blame. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty or anything."

"Then why'd you come?"

"Because I want to try and make things better for you."

"You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't make this better." Coul shook his head again and motioned vaguely to the room around them, "This isn't something you can fix."

"Can't I?"

"No, you can't." Coul shrugged, "Things like this aren't fixed just because you've got a name or a face or popularity."

"Not to be rude, but I think you're wrong and I think there are things I can do to make your situation better." Anna swallowed, "Something only I can do for you."

"Like what, tell them that I didn't shoot your husband?" Coul's face pursed and his jaw locked. "No."

"No what?"

"No, you can't fix this because you can't fix what I broke." Coul dry-washed his hands, his skin scrapping slightly as John noted the dryness of Coul's hands. "Even if I wish you could, this isn't something that gets fixed."

"You're right," Anna nodded, "I can't fix what you broke."

"Then what's the point?"

"The point is that I can fix what I broke." Anna took a breath, "I can fix what I didn't do back then and try to do now what I didn't do then."

"But you didn't break anything." Coul pointed at himself, "I did this to me."

Anna stayed silent and John noted her expression stayed almost entirely blank for a moment before she spoke again. "Yes, you did. You did shoot my husband and that can't be changed, you're right."

Coul blinked at her but did not speak as Anna continued. "But I know, better now than I did then, that you didn't mean to kill my husband."

"I…" Coul shook his head. "I shot him. I killed him."

"Yes, you did. But that wasn't your intention." Anna took a deep breath and John noted the slight tremor in her hand before she took it under the table and curled her fingers into a fist. "I think you were only trying to scare us that night."

"I…" Coul's jaw flexed and then he snapped it shut, nodding.

"And I think you were about as scared as we were. You were a scared boy and you were desperate and you had a weapon you didn't mean to use but…" Anna shrugged, "The worst of all intersections led to my husband's death that night and I should've seen it."

"Seen what?"

"That while you shot and killed my husband you didn't mean to do it." Anna's jaw shifted as if trying to gather enough spit before she swallowed. "And that's what I mean to tell whoever is making the decision about your release at your parole hearing."

Coul stared at Anna for a moment before he snorted, "You can't be serious."

"Why can't I?" Anna folded her arms over her chest, John almost smiling as the familiar pose took away any of the nerves that plagued Anna just a moment ago. "Why can't I be serious about helping you? Why can't I devide that I should've extended mercy when I was only busy with my own pain? Why can't I try to make right what I didn't fix back then?"

"Because that's not how the world works." Coul leaned forward and John stiffened for a second at the possible aggression. Instead, giving himself a moment, he recognized the hope laced desperation in Coul's posture and tone. "These people in here, people like me, we're here because the world wants us gone. They want us tucked away from the populace because we're dangerous or unwanted."

Coul took a breath, "But that's not always it. It's also because we did something wrong. If we meant it or not, if we intended it or not, none of that matters. What matters is that we did it and that's it." His hands clapped together and John almost jumped before noting the way a few people around them turned to look and the guards at the door jerked in their direction for a moment. "Justice is served because I'm here."

"Maybe justice is served by you being here." Anna pursed her lips, "But what is it's time for mercy to be served instead?"

"Why should mercy be served?"

"Because there should be balance between justice and mercy and I want to do what I can to bring some mercy into this." Anna took a breath, "I plan on speaking at your parole hearing next month and I hope, if they allow you parole, to help you get back on your feet."

"And how are you going to get me back on my feet?"

"That's where John comes in." Anna turned and smiled at John. "If you would."

Before John could speak, Coul cut in with a scoff. "Beefy Boy here has something to offer me? He's here as a life line for me?"

"I'm here because I can help Ms. Smith make good on her desire to help you." John shrugged at Coul's second raised eyebrow.

"So you're going to find me a job?" Coul shook his head, "Nah, there's no way that you, in that suit, could find me a job when I'll have a record that says I'm a murderer."

"Technically your record says you committed manslaughter, which is a little different, but I think I can manage to convince someone to take you on." John studied Coul's face. "If you really want that."

"If I really want what?"

"Another chance." John opened his hands. "The option is on the table. You can take it or not but the option is there."

"You won't force me to do or make it a condition of the offer?"

"No." John shook his head and nodded in Anna's direction. "It's Ms. Smith's wish to give you an option but that's it. This is a no-strings-attached situation."

Coul leaned back, his lips pursed, and narrowed his eyes as he surveyed both Anna and John for a few minutes before speaking. "What kind of job are you offering?"

"I own a pub and we're always looking for servers and workers." John shrugged, "It's a place to start and build a CV. You could give yourself a leg up and get recommendations as you figure out what you want from your life when it's yours again."

Folding his arms on his chest, Coul leaned forward with his shoulders hunching as his elbows rested on the table. "And you're both serious about me? You're going to stand up for me and help me get out of here and then get my life back together?"

"Yes." Anna unfolded her arms and laid them on the table to lean forward to match Coul's position. "I'm here to give you the mercy I think my husband would've."

Coul chewed the inside of his cheeks. "You think your husband would've been merciful to me if the positions were reversed? If it was you that died and not him?"

"He was always a better person than me so I think he might've." Anna gave a sad smile. "He was one of the best men I've ever known and I'd like to think he would've been better than me about all this. Better than me from the beginning so you might never've been in this place."

"He sounds like a good bloke." Coul's jaw shifted. "And I'm… I'm sorry. You're right, I didn't… I didn't mean to kill him. What happened… I was… I was scared and I… "

Coul took a shuddering breath, "And I'm sorry. I can't say much more than that but I'm sorry. Truly."

"Thank you." Anna gave another sad smile, "That means more to me than you think and it has more weight than you might think."

"Well, it's all I can give so…" Coul shrugged, "Especially since you're doing me kindnesses I don't deserve."

"None of us deserve kindness, Coul. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to give it when and where we can." Anna gave John a smile. "John here helped me learn that."

Coul eyed John up-and-down. "Life coach as well as a pub owner and bodyguard then Beefy Boy? No one job is good enough for you?"

"You have to keep it interesting." John rolled his shoulders, "And I believe in helping people be better so I don't mind helping out here."

"And you trust hiring me?"

"I trust that you don't want to stay in places like this for the rest of your life." John flexed his jaw, "None of us want to be the people we used to be."

"No, we don't." Coul rubbed the back of his head. "Alright, I'll take the chance. If they let me out when the hearing comes around, I'll take your offer."

"I'm glad." Anna stood and John followed suit, "And I'm serious about there being no strings attached to this. We don't have to keep in contact. We don't have to follow up. We don't have to be friends… I'm not going this to keep you on the line or anything."

"That's actually very comforting because I was a little worried about it."

"I'm glad I could rid you of at least one worry." Anna reached out her hand but retracted it at Coul's slowly shaking head. "Ah. I forgot, we're not allow to touch in here."

"No." Coul stood as well and John saw one of the guards walking over. "But maybe, when this is all over, we can shake then."

"I look forward to it." Anna took a deep breath, "I truly wish you only the best, Mr. Philpot. Whatever happened between us, back then, should stay in the past."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." Anna smiled, "It's what I believe my husband would've wanted and it's what I'm hoping I can make a reality."

"You make it sound so simple." Coul nodded his head at the guard at his shoulder. "Ready to take me back to my cell?"

"If you're done here." The guard gave Anna and John a brief nod before leading Coul away from the table.

Anna pivoted to face John. "Are you ready to be out of here?"

"With all of my heart." John took the lead and guided them out of the building, retrieving their things, and back to the car. He opened the door and ducked his head. "After you, Ms. Smith."

"Thank you." Anna ducked into the car and John followed, almost immediately relaxing as the car drove away from the lot.

John sighed, his fingers uncurling to leave his hands flat on his trouser legs. For a second he closed his eyes, taking another breath, and then let it out to see Anna staring at him. "What?"

"It really bothered you in there, didn't it?"

"Yeah." John took a breath, "It's… It's a thing."

"I can see that." Anna bit at her lip before nodding at him. "Can I ask why?"

"When the IED took my leg, it took it by blowing up my Humvee and I was trapped inside. The metal warped, as it will with that level of heat and blunt force, and trapped my leg. The only way to get me out of the metal tomb I was basically in was to either risk killing me by cutting the metal or let me lose my leg to save my life." John let out a breath, "Such are the decisions you make when you want to survive."

"Should I extend you sympathy for it or acknowledge it and move on?"

"The latter, if you will." John gave Anna a small smile. "It's the kind of thing that you learn to live with and there's not much that can be done about it now. It's not like I'm getting the leg back and, for the most part, it's not an issue."

"Except when you're in places you can't easily escape?"

"That's about it, yeah." John shrugged, "I think I'm actually rather lucky."

"Because that's your only hang up?"

"Because it could've been a lot worse." John jerked his thumb back in the direction of the prison. "I'm very impressed by what you did back there. It was… That couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't but I needed it." Anna gave a little shrug with one shoulder. "I was just lucky that no one saw us go there."

"Did you think that was a concern?"

"Partially. Especially with what I've done in the media lately." Anna bit at the inside of her cheek. "At least it's put my line in the news and it's sold relatively well."

"What about your new line?" John leaned back into his seat. "The one that's had you sketching like mad and spending hours at your studio."

"Is that jealousy I hear in your voice?"

"Not at all." John cracked his neck, "But it does put my people on their feet for a long time and those kinds of hours aren't exactly easy on the feet."

"Maybe you should bill Robert for insoles so your shoes are more comfortable."

"Maybe we should but you're dodging the question."

"Because I've not got a good answer for you yet."

"No?"

"No." Anna sucked the insides of her cheeks. "Mostly because I'm still trying to find a way to stitch it all together and I've not found a through line for it yet."

"But you think you will?"

"I need to." Anna sighed, "I've distracted myself with promotion and this visit but now that it's over… I've got to face the music and figure it out."

"Anything I can do to help with that?"

Anna eyed John up and down. "I might say yes but I'm not sure if it's the kind of answer either of us would want to face."

"Why not?"

"Because then we'd have to face the consequences of it and I'm not sure I'm ready for the results." Anna nodded toward John, "Or if you'd be ready for it."

"Ready for what?"

"For the consequences of what would happen if you and I had sex again."

John kept silent a moment, "Maybe I'd want to know what the consequences would be if we made that decision."

"You would?"

"Maybe." John took a breath, "Would you be ready for what that would mean? Because I'm still convinced that it wouldn't be worth it if we're not serious about it. This couldn't be a one-and-done thing. It would have be serious."

"And if I am serious?"

"Then I'm serious too." John swallowed, "But we both knew I was serious before."

"I wasn't ready for that then. But now…" Anna bit at her lip and gave a quick nod. "I think I'm ready to face the reality of this now."

"Then let's face it." John opened a hand to Anna. "If you want to do it together."

Anna put her hand in his. "There's not another way to do it."

Yorkshire, England – Reality

"And you're stopping there?" John looked up to see Anna, both of her hands flat on the table. "You're going to read right to the cliffhanger?"

"Gwen will be here shortly and, unfortunately for you, I do have two patients that require my attention." John put a bookmark between the pages. "And I need to focus on them on occasion because they're who I get paid to care for now."

"You say that like caring for me doesn't have its benefits."

"I would never suggest that." John put the book to the side and stood. "And, if you're amenable, I'd like to take you out to dinner again."

"I'd like that." Anna moved along the counter, going back to her work. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"I thought I'd let you pick and then arrange it." John slipped his hands into his pockets, "I'm curious what kind of dates you'd plan for us."

"Giving me that kind of power could be dangerous for you."

"I'll take that risk." John smiled, "It'll make it all more interesting."

"Then give me some time to work out a solution." Anna turned in his general direction and smiled. "I'll come up with something interesting."

"I trust an artist to do something interesting." John paused, chewing at the inside of his cheek, and shifted forward. "On another point, I've a question."

"What is that?"

"If I wanted to get better, at something artsy, what kinds of classes would you recommend for me?"

Anna paused, "I… I think I know a few people who do private lessons. Let me see if I can get in contact with them."

"That would be lovely."

"You must really have enjoyed the short lesson in sculpting I gave you."

"I liked what it offered as far as things I could learn to do in the future." John shifted, "And it would give me a chance to know another side of you from another angle."

"That puts us at a disadvantage."

"How so?"

"Because how can I match the interest on my end?"

"I'm sure you could find a hundred podcasts to listen to that will bore you to death trying to understand what I studied."

"Can I?" Anna hummed, "Recommend me some?"

"Alright, we'll make it an exchange." John made sure he had his things. "I'll see you tomorrow Ms. Smith."

"Until tomorrow Nurse Bates."