This drabble is set in an AU where Crowfeather and Squirrelflight ran away from the clans so they could be together.

...

"Do you have any regrets about what we did?"

"What do you mean?" Crowfeather yawned, raising his head and blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He looked to his side. He thought she was curled beside him, ready to sleep off the rabbit they had caught earlier. Instead, she lay on her back, staring up at the night sky.

"It's a simple question, isn't it?" Squirrelflight said, her tone too dry to sound annoyed.

"I… I guess." Crowfeather shifted so his head was above hers. "I'm just wondering why you'd ask that."

Squirrelflight shrugged, her emerald eyes looked dulled by the dark hills. "I'm just wondering."

Crowfeather felt a sharp gust of wind scratch his coat with cold claws. He grunted. "I see."

"So do you?"

Crowfeather's brow furrowed. Did he regret what they did? There were many things that they did. He scanned the hills around them, focusing on an invisible distance they'd long since abandoned. To the left of them, a few tree-lengths from the steep hill they'd decided to camp at, a thick ground of unsearched woods lay open for the pair to explore. Even though they weren't close, Crowfeather could catch the unknown smells that beckoned them further away from their original lives.

Crowfeather thought they would go into it tomorrow.

"Not especially." Crowfeather said. He watched Squirrelflight blink, the same blank expression on her muzzle. The tom's tail curled closer to his partner. "It wouldn't do me any good to regret now. It's too late for that."

Squirrelflight's muzzle scrunched in a way Crowfeather couldn't read. Her ears twitched gently. "Yeah." She sighed. "I know."

Her voice drifted into the night like a dying hope.

Crowfeather bit his lip, the pain offered a good counter to the uncomfortable quivering along his tail. He looked away, debating if he wanted to ask the question or hear her answer. "So… Do you have any regrets?"

Squirrelflight cast him a glance, her head edging back. Their eyes locked for a minute. Crowfeather waited, uneasy but patient. Squirrelflight's mouth opened a few times but closed within a blink. The cold air around them and the whistle of the night was the only consistency of their silence.

The silence was frustrating. So incredibly frustrating. Crowfeather fought to hold his tongue.

If there was one thing he knew, he couldn't rush her.

She needed her own time.

So, he suffered through the quiet, if that was what she needed to speak.

Even if he was scared of what she might say.

Squirrelflight exhaling through her nose made Crowfeather jolt back to attention. "No."

Crowfeather settled a little, but he kept his gaze fixed. "But?" He sensed.

"There isn't really a but…"

"So why did you ask then?"

"Guess I just wanted to know."

"What?" Crowfeather's muzzle creased, "It's a bit of a random question, don't you think?"

Squirrelflight's eyes narrowed, "Well 'sorry', I just thought I'd ask."

A low hum rumbled in Crowfeather's throat, his ears flattened back. "No normal cat 'just asks' something like that?"

"Was that supposed to be a jab?" Squirrelflight closed her eyes with a huff, "I don't think you're in any position to call any cat abnormal."

"And you are?"

"You're missing the point, mouse-brian."

"You're the one who brought it up."

Squirrelflight rolled onto her side, effectively ending the conversation.

Despite the heat storming his ears, Crowfeather knew in his gut that fighting wouldn't help them. If he wanted a reason from his mate, he wouldn't get it by making her mad.

Even if she was the one who started it…

Crowfeather grumbled, then he sighed.

By the stars, they were a couple of overgrown apprentices. He looked down at her, his mouth thin, almost feeling he could laugh at the stubbornness glaring off her.

She really was difficult when she wanted to be.

But then again, so was he.

They matched each other, and maybe that was why they were stuck with each other.

Crowfeather offered a light touch of his tail to her back. He heard a low mumuring he couldn't decipher, but he assumed it was something to do with his tail and a mouse trap. He chuckled lightly, keeping his touch on her. Slowly, Squirrelflight's back stopped shivering and he saw her body descend with a low breath.

Then her tail moved, the tip laying over his.

All was buried and forgiven.

Crowfeather sniffed, the sound reverberated over the hills. "Did I do anything to make you think I regretted leaving the clans?"

Squirrelflight started up, her tail flaring, before going still. Slowly she rolled onto her belly, facing the tom. It was hard to read the sinking expression, but Crowfeather assumed that she was fighting between giving the easy answer or the truth.

"No, I just thought… I dunno, you might have thought about it."

"Well, I haven't." Crowfeather leant down a little, trying to match her height. "So, have you?"

Squirrelflight looked down. Crowfeather noticed her fur lying flat on her back. "Well…"

Crowfeather inhaled tightly. "You have, haven't you?"

Squirrelflight didn't respond straight away. "N- Well, I…" He could tell she hated the idea of lying to him. "Not for long." When she looked up and saw Crowfeather's stilted gaze she let out another sigh. "But yeah."

A short, relative silence filled the air, as Crowfeather alternated between casting this off as a bad dream or waking up and wishing that it was. Either way, he said nothing. The idea that she could regret going with him, that she could regret him, filled him not with anger but a crushing guilt.

"Do you want to go back?" He said quietly.

Her eyes flashing, Squirrelflight rose up with a mrrow of shock. "Of course not!" She meowed.

Crowfeather looked at her with a shadowy scepticism. He was afraid to feel relieved.

"I didn't mean I regret running away in the first place." Squirrelflight said, giving her mate a hard stare.

"So what did you mean?" Crowfeather asked, his voice low as he sat on his hind legs.

Squirrelflight turned away with a groan. Her tail was thumping against the ground in clear irritation.

The fact she didn't look at him made him second guess that he was the focus of it.

"It's just…" Her breathing began to slow down and her movements became sluggish and tired once more. As another cold gust passed them, Squirrelflight was reserved once more to a still shadow. Her gaze kept low.

"You don't regret anything about leaving?"

Crowfeather paused. "Nothing I can think of."

"So the idea of leaving was never… scary to you?"

The dark tom's brows rose.

"The fact that you're never going to see your family again." Squirrelflight said softly. "That never bothered you?"

Crowfeather stared. Squirrelflight's whiskers twitched as a look of pain grazed her. He didn't need to think twice about who she was thinking of. But, as soon as she mentioned it, he did find the face of a sleek grey cat fill his vision.

A cat he had never said goodbye to.

Like she would have understood if he had.

"You're not scared that you don't have a clan anymore?" Squirrelflight stiffened.

Scared. The word confused Crowfeather for a bit, but he thought he knew what she meant. The safety, the security, the pattern. Knowing you would be protected, knowing what to do every day without worry, knowing that you had a clear pattern to follow. Comfort and reliance.

"That's what's bothering you." It wasn't a question. "You miss your family and your clan."

Squirrelflight looked up as if she was shocked at how reserved his tone was. "Don't you?" She asked.

Crowfeather thought back. It wasn't an unfair question. Any normal cat would miss those they grew up with every day of their lives.

But like Squirrelflight had said, he didn't have the right to judge what was normal.

"I miss my mother sometimes." Crowfeather admitted. "But that's about it. I didn't have anyone else I was close to in Windclan."

Squirrelflight mrrowed in astonishment. "Seriously?"

Crowfeather gave a self-deprecating chuckle. "You're talking to me, remember? If you thought I was bad on the journey, you wouldn't want to see me in my clan." To his delight, Squirrelflight betrayed herself with a small chuckle. "I suppose I was close to… my mentor. But… that's buried bones." The less he said about Mudclaw, the better.

Squirrelflight knit her brows together, staring at the ground with a slackened jaw. Her shoulders had sunk under an invisible weight.

Crowfeather pursed his lips and took a hesitant step towards her. When she didn't flinch away, he stopped just when he was close enough to graze his paw with hers. "I take it you have fonder memories of your clan?" Like that was hard.

Against her better instincts, Squirrelflight stared ahead to the hills. As if they could see the shape of the forest they once knew. "Sometimes." She echoed him. Her ears fell down like dying leaves. "I miss my sister terribly. We were always close."

Crowfeather nodded, a sympathetic hum on his lips. "You must have been. If not I don't think she would have let you leave like that."

When Squirrelflight had shown up at the border with Leafpool, Crowfeather had almost burst from the terror. But it only took a moment and a good look at the medicine cat's wet eyes for him to realise she was keeping their secret. Even as the weeping sisters embraced one final time, Leafpool had not even looked like she was going to reveal their secret.

And from how far they'd gotten since then, it seemed that she never had.

"I think about my parents as well. About whether they're worried about me or not."

"Of course they are." That didn't seem like a comfort or a jab.

"Well if they are," Squirrelflight took a sharp intake of breath, "I can't help but feel bad. I want Thunderclan to carry on without me, not waste time looking for me. If there's a patrol looking for us right now," She grimaced, "I hope they give up soon. They have their own problems to deal with and I shouldn't be one of them." Her face went dull again, as if being stung by a wasp too many times to feel the pain.

Crowfeather blinked slowly. "They will be looking for you." He dipped down so his cheek rested against hers. He was relieved when she nestled a little closer to him. "And that's because you mean something to them."

He'd been torn between comforting her with what he knew was true, reminding her of the love of home, and the beckon of silence that could keep her close to him.

But it hadn't lasted long.

"My clan won't care a whisker where I am, I can promise you that. But yours will search day and night for you, they'd only do that for a cat like you."

Squirrelflight scoffed, "What? A leader's daughter."

"No. An amazing, beautiful Warrior." He purred. He watched Squirrelflight's eyes go wide and felt her face fill with heat. Her breathing began to become thin. Crowfeather lowered his eyes again. Her happiness pricked his determination once more.

"And if you miss them that much, we can go back."

Squirrelflight paused.

Crowfeather coughed away the tightening in his throat. "I mean, if you think you'd be happier there… it's worth it."

"Don't be silly."

A brushing feeling curled under Crowfeather's chin. Now it was his turn to go stiff. He laboured above Squirrelflight as she purred under his chin, her small body feeling perfect against the curve of his own. Her thick fur rustled against him, making his face drain of colour.

"I wouldn't have left if I thought I'd be happier there."

Crowfeather's gaze skittered down until he found her. She was warm under him, smiling with a crescent moon grin. "But you said..."

"That I have regrets, but not that I regret everything." Her muzzle had nuzzled into his chest and when he peered down he could barely see the hard determined glint of emerald. "I do miss my family. But when I don't think of them, I think of everything else in Thunderclan."

The fire that burned her scowl communicated the images of her thoughts.

The bitter feud of two toms, demanding their place beside her, too engrossed in their hate to notice the disgust on her face.

The way her clanmates offered nothing but tired grimaces and pleads for the peace of quiet whenever she made her voice heard.

The way her parents warned her to stay close to the clan whenever a cat complained of her 'too-close' relationships with the cats she travelled with for moons.

The way that it only took the mere sound of her voice to illicit a groan somewhere she couldn't see, but she knew was close.

She could remember it all with a painful clarity.

Crowfeather licked her forehead gently.

"Trust me, I'm not so desperate that I'd want to go back to that."

"Okay." Crowfeather said, even though he wasn't sure how he could even mutter that one word as his throat felt like it had been stuffed with dirt. He listened to her purr underneath him until his paws felt strong again and the cold air somehow felt refreshing.

Then he blinked, brows furrowing again. "Wait. If you don't want to go back, then why did you ask me if I regretted leaving?"

Squirrelflight went still, and while that did make Crowfeather chill a little he did think an answer was deserved.

"Well, just because I'm happy here, that didn't mean you were." Squirrelflight broke away a little, licking her shoulder quietly. "You never told me much about your life in Windclan."

"You wouldn't want to know." Crowfeather rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I. I don't have the fondest memories of Windclan, Squirrelflight."

"I didn't know that."

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't is obvious? If you wanted to go home then…" She trailed off, looking at her paws again.

Crowfeather had been stunned into silence. He tried to make something articulate, but his mouth hung half-way, as if it was trying to mimic actual speech.

Did she honestly think he wasn't…

"Crowfeather." Squirrelflight addressed, as stern as ever. It drew Crowfeather to look down until he was eye to eye with the hard-faced ginger cat. "There aren't great memories for me in Thunderclan, but if there were for you." There was only the briefest flash of fear of the molly's face. "I'd want you to be-"

Her voice came out into a squeak as she felt herself dragged off her hind paws. Her head hit something soft and firm as her backside slid along the calm drifting grass. Squirrelflight couldn't catch her breath as she felt something on her chest, gently holding her in place like a kit in its mother's mouth. In the dark, it was hard to make it out as Crowfeather's foreleg.

She realised, face burning all the while, that the soft mound her neck rested on was actually Crowfeather's smooth chest. His steady heartbeat patted her skin, as if mocking her rapid pulse.

She was about to pull herself away when she felt a soft touch to her cheek. Along with a soft smacking sound.

Squirrelflight's protests died before they could begin.

That hadn't been a nose peck or a lick.

What it had been… Well it made Squirrelflight realise she couldn't say a word even if she tried.

The alarm, the surprise of moments like this with Crowfeather, moments she could hardly imagine he was capable of, it just made her melt where she was.

Which only meant she eased deeper into his embrace.

"Now look who's being silly." Crowfeather uttered. Each word was warm on Squirrelflight's already burning cheeks.

"Hu-Hu-Huh?" The slightest sound was all Squirrelflight found she had the strength to gasp, and even then she stuttered as if every part of her didn't feel like hot sand. The rumbling in her chest was bizarrely comforting.

"Why would I ever go back to Windclan?"

Squirrelflight couldn't whisper the obviousness of her soaring doubts.

But that was okay.

Because Crowfeather wrapped his foreleg just a bit tighter around her, and actually pulled her gently against him. And when he spoke it tingled everywhere. "I've been at home ever since I met you."

With that, he gave her cheek another deserved kiss.

As the feeling burst over her once more, Squirrelflight found herself shaking far less than she could have ever imagined. Her paws cradled over the foreleg on her chest, holding onto it with all the care she could muster. Her heart rate began to soften until she heard it perfectly align with his. Only just a little less noticeable than the shimmer of their purrs.

As her neck peacefully sank back, her cheek being cradled by the warmth of his neck, Squirrelflight felt the invisible shape of the forest sink away until she couldn't see it in the shadows anymore.

And she found she was okay with that.

She closed her eyes, not caring enough to give some witty comeback that may have suited her.

It didn't suit this.

But Crowfeather spoke nonetheless. "Y'know, I'm kind of surprised, Squirrel."

"About what?" Squirrelflight said, not opening her eyes.

"When you talked about regrets, my first thought was that you were scared about Starclan."

"Oh." Squirrelflight edged back a little more. "No, I'm not worried about that."

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

"I… How come?"

Squirrelflight opened her eyes as she craned her head just enough to peck Crowfeather's chin with her nose. She giggled as she felt his heart begin to thump. "Just look at the stars."

Crowfeather did and, despite the cold air, or the grey clouds that passed like fading wounds, he could have sworn the stars had never looked so beautiful as he pulled the ginger cat close once again.

…

Warriors and Characters belong to Erin Hunter.

And I swear to God, if I hear anything about "cats can't kiss"; you know what, this is a universe where cat Heaven and Hell exists, and where cats have a universal knowledge of medicine and politics - I think we'll live!