A/N: SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SUCH A LONG TIME! I accidentally deleted most of this chapter and I really loved it so I was so sad about losing it that I couldn't get myself to rewrite it. It was also right after the cast list for my show came out and I remembered that my director is an asshole so I was just not doing well. So I'm really sorry and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also oh my god I just realized how ironic it is that I'm posting this on the date of this chapter. Not intentional, I promise.

Dear Sirius Black,

I came out to my dad last night. When I went to his house we exchanged phone numbers and he called me last night and it just came out of me. He asked if I was dating and I told him I was pretty busy with life and not really looking but he just kept telling me that I need to get a girlfriend. Eventually I told that I'm still dealing with a rough break up and he asked me what happened. So I told him that my boyfriend was arrested and I didn't feel like trying to find someone else when I'm still processing what happened to Sirius.

He told me that he doesn't want a queer and I hung up on him. That fucking asshole. He could accept the fact that I am a werewolf. He was willing to deal with me turning into a murderous monster every month, but me being bisexual went too far. The morning after my first full moon him and mam held me and he said that everything was going to be okay and we were going to get through this. But the moment that I confide in him that I have fallen in love with another man he can't handle that. It wasn't even the fact my now ex boyfriend is in prison that he had a problem with, it was his queer son.

When I told mam that I was dating you, she told me that no matter what I do in my life she'll love me as long as I'm happy, because that's what family does. I told her that your family would disown you if they found out you were gay (look at me and my divination skills) and she told me that not everyone is lucky enough to have relatives that are their family. I asked her what that meant, and she said I had to experience it to fully understand it.

Well now I understand. We're not all born into our families. Some of us have to go looking for them. Some of us are lucky enough to actually find them. I found my family, and so did you. We were family. I never felt more at home than I did when I was a Marauder. I never took the time to appreciate it because I didn't know that you guys were my family. We always said we were like a family, but I don't any of us really knew that we were a family. I thought we'd be together forever so I never really savored our time together. I took us for granted because nothing would ever destroy us. We were too close, our bond was too strong, we'd never let somebody come and pull us apart. But then one of us let go.

I will never be able to think of a reason why you betrayed us. I can think of reasons that someone would betray their friends, but I can't think of reasons you would betray us. What was happening? I want to imagine that you were forced into it, but the only thing I can think of that would drive you to hurt others would be if they threatened one of us. I could imagine you handing over valuable information to protect Harry, but the only reason they wanted the information you gave was to kill Harry. Unless one day I'm able to speak with you I will not know what happened, and even in that situation you could lie to me.

I just don't understand this paradox I have created for myself. Family would never hurt each other. We, the Marauders and all the honorary Marauders we let into our group, were a family. We were a family so strong and so close that nobody could hurt us except ourselves, which is how we fell apart. But family doesn't do that to each other. So we weren't really family. But I experienced our friendship. We were family. Being with you felt more like home than my own home. So what changed?

I don't know.