Hello, all my lovely readers! I said I missed Slade and Toria and I just had to write this chapter because I need more scenes with them. Life has been crazy busy for me so I can't promise when I'll post again. I'm still working on peeling off wallpaper and then painting my room. Good news is that I have written other chapter for this story. So fear not! I will be updating this story again when life calms down again. As always I want to thank everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed!

josephguy217: Thank you for your review! You rock! Hope this will be another chapter that you like!

swinglrm: Thank you so much for reviewing! I try my best! So glad that you love it! I wanted to add different twists and turns that people wouldn't expect so overjoyed that you enjoy them! I always try to write Slade in character and I can literally see the circles under his eyes by the fact that Billy is still alive in my AU! I know! I love Slade so much (shush, don't tell, but I actually like him more than Oliver ;)) and I wanted to write him paired with someone that I thought would work well with him!

GiggleboxGirlie: Thank you for your amazing review! You are just so awesome! Yup, you should be careful what you ask of me ;) I will give you what you want, but not really ;) I love making Oliver the one who almost always walks in on them, it is extremely realistic to me. Brothers always mess up the romance, even if they don't mean to. Well, maybe I'll have another dancing scene… maybe I won't, you'll just have to see!

Wow, I can not begin to tell you how much it makes my heart melt that you ship Toria and Slade so much! And it sounds like you are going to riot if I don't have them together soon. All I can say is keep reading to see how our lovelies are doing! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter.

TheWayofLife-447: Thank you so much for your review! I am thrilled that you love this story! Yes I will be continuing it! Life is just a little crazy right now so chapters will be slowly updated! That is an amazing question, one you will have to read to find out! Please let me know what your thought are for this chapter!

The Other Queen

Chapter 19

Lian Yu 2008

Slade was out days after, hunting, it was just him, nature and the comfortable seat that was the tree that he was hiding out in. His mind wandered to when Toria had unknowingly danced in front of him. The look on her face was peaceful, calm and it brought a smile to his face remembering that unguarded moment. He knew she almost always put up a front, would pull that mask back down on her face. But at that moment, she was completely and undescribable beautiful.

It honestly hurt though, that she kept pushing him back. Every time he opened up or tried to show her that he was here for her, that he didn't judge her, that he loved her, he watched her shut him down. She probably doesn't realize she does it, he reminded himself. But perhaps I should stop giving so much and see what she wants? But how was he going to change the way he felt about her? Not changing it, just showing it less. Wait to see what it is she wants. But she is only twenty-one, maybe she doesn't know what she wants? I love her. And I want her love in return. But how to go about that?

The rustle of leaves got him out of his thoughts, a large bird was in the cage that he had set up. Jumping down from the tree, he grabbed the cage. It was going to make them a good dinner.

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Victoria let out an audible sigh, gazing out into space she let her mind wander. Her mind just kept replaying how short she had been with Slade just a couple of days ago. Why did you do that, you idiot? she berated herself. You really like him and you yelled at him! For basically cheering you on! No, you're not an idiot, you're an asshole!

"Wow, if you don't watch it your frown face will be your all the time face," Oliver remarked.

Victoria glared at him, not happy that he had to call attention to her musings. Oliver looked unfazed and sat down next to her by the fire.

"So what were you thinking about?"

"The many ways in which I could possibly kill you. There are a lot of them."

"Haha, very funny," Oliver replied sarcastically. "Honestly though, what were you thinking about?"

"Why does it matter so much to you?"

Oliver sighed and ran a hand through his dirty, blonde hair, "Look Toria, I know we haven't been that close in the past. I know that I am partly to blame for that. And the way I see it, time is something we have a lot of so… I think we should talk and you know, work on our relationship."

Victoria's mouth dropped and for a couple of moments, she simply stared at her brother. We are basically trying not to get killed on this island and he is worried about our sibling relationship!? Opening her mouth to give him a rude reply, she paused, she saw the look in his eyes, the flicker of hope. He really wants this. Letting out a deep sigh, she ran a hand down her face and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Please Toria, give me a chance," he whispered.

Shaking her head with a chuckle, "Okay Ollie, alright."

"So… What were you thinking about?"

"Gosh, you aren't going to let that go, are you? How about we work our way up to that?"

Several moments passed between them in silence. Until Oliver started to chuckle.

"What?"

"We haven't really talked since we were young. Remember when I was 7 and we still used to play together. Gosh, life was easier back then," Oliver added with a chuckle.

"Haha. Yeah, I remember. We used to dress up in western customs and pretend to be cowboys. You'd always were the sheriff or the head thief."

"Yeah, I remember that. I blame it on dad showing us so many episodes of old western shows and movies."

"You thought you were as cool as John Wayne, haha."

"Yeah, he was pretty cool when I was seven."

"It was so weird when you were nine you started thinking all that stuff was and I quote 'lame'," using her index fingers as quotation marks.

"Of course, I kind of started watching other stupid shows. Then I stopped caring about shows at all really. Always had better things to do. I miss when we used to watch reruns of Bonanza."

"Then we were both teenagers. Stopped talking like we used to. You were a complete jerk in high school. Seemed like every other week you had a new girlfriend. Then you were illegally drinking at parties. Chasing after girls with Tommy, you both talking them up about how rich you were."

"You drank at parties too," Oliver pointed out. "But you're right, I was a complete jerk back then. I used to snap at you everytime you tried to talk to me. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. You were in high school. Being a jerk comes with the territory. I was very…"

"Grumpy," Oliver supplied.

"Yeah and the angry teen. Gosh, I was a handful too. Mom and Dad had no idea what they were doing with us."

"Well, we are their first two children. Hopefully, Mom knows more of what she is doing with Thea."

"I won't hold your breath," Toria replied with a sigh.

"Why is your relationship with Mom so bad? Was it just about her not letting you study in France or Russia?"

Letting out a sigh and running a hand through her, filthy, blonde hair, "That was what started it all. But no, it wasn't just about that. It was how Mom organized everything. For my own sweet sixteen, I wasn't able to wear the dress I wanted to, instead, she forced me to wear something else."

"Is that all?"

"No, Oliver. It also has to do with the fact that since I was sixteen years old, Mom has wanted me to pair up with a good business partner, or doctor, or a lawyer. She'd set me up with each of her friends' sons, hoping that one of us would hit it off. She was using me as a bargaining chip."

"She tried to pair me up like that too, you know?"

"But she was always easier on you. She allowed you more freedom."

"I'm sorry, Toria."

"It isn't your fault."

"But clearly, you're still upset about it."

"Because it was always like that. I know it isn't your fault. I just… Just wish Mom had just accepted me more. And listened to what I wanted, like she did with you."

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Slowly she walked through the trees and soon felt the hard, sharp rocks underneath her shoes. Soon she was standing in front of two mounds of stone upon the hill, two graves. Carefully heading towards Robert Queen's grave she knelt in front and gently placed a hand on the cold, damp, stone covering her father.

"I miss you, dad. I know you weren't always perfect, but I did truly love you. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why I'm here. I've just been so confused. I think I love him, Slade I mean. But things aren't ideal and I'm worried that I'll just end up disappointing him. Gosh, I wish I could at least talk to you about him. Not that you were ever very good with this stuff either. I'm not even sure if you can hear me right now. But… but I guess I'd like to know if by seeing my face when I'm around him or how I talk about him… if you think I love him too. You were always so good at figuring me out even when I was confusing myself," wiping tears from her cheeks.

Several moments passed, tears continued to run down her cheek and off her chin. Words flooded her mind but she hardly knew what to say. Is it honestly better to let all of this out? There was a fear of making the words becoming more real speaking them. And how to say it? How would she say it to him if he was standing beside her?

"Dad, why did you die for me?" she whispered, as though afraid of anyone else hearing her. "I am grateful... it's just… You shouldn't have had to make that choice. If I hadn't been there. If I was home like I was supposed to be… both you and Oliver would have survived. I'm so sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have… I'm sorry. It was supposed to be you, not me."

Bowing her head, sobs shaking through her body, her palms digging into the sharp stone to steady herself. The guilt, the confusion racked through her body and soul. She just wanted him there; to hold her, to tell her that she was going to be okay. That he forgave her for living while he was gone, a body underneath the stones, but he wasn't truly there anymore. He wasn't here anymore, and she was left. Left to figure out what to do now.

Back home, life had been a series of adventures. She could easily get by with half-ass plans. Taking responsibility after for her actions had become something she had learned to be very good at. But on this island, you had to make decisions and they had to be good ones. It was a matter of life and death now. She couldn't just wing it anymore.

What if I do love Slade? What if I don't? Could it just be lust? Or perhaps loneliness? Would they even be able to make it work? They were so different. Yet so similar. Sure things seemed to be going good, here on the island, but when they got back home would it be the same? Or would they break? Just as easily as her parents seemingly had? She wanted so much to make sure this thing was right. But she just wasn't sure. Can Slade make me happy and do I want to make him truly happy? Is that what I want? She knew she liked it when he made her happy but that wasn't the same as wanting to make him happy. What if she failed him? What if instead, she'd only manage to break his heart and hers. What if. What if. Words started swimming in her mind. Turning into a mantra of "I'm not good enough. You have no idea what you are doing. He'll tire of you."

Tears blurred her vision once more. Hastily she pinched the bridge of her nose to clear them. Trying to shake the negative thoughts from her mind. Shutting her eyes tightly. Memories of Slade's bright smile directed towards her, his arms open wide as she grieved over Yao Fei's death, his look of concern when he had awoken her from a nightmare, his devilish smirk, his deep and warm laugh. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she soaked up the memories. The small little moments away from the terror and hardship of the island. Moments that he had lightened up for her. Could I be that for him too? Do I want to be? Yes. I think I do.

A rustling of leaves from a few feet away from where she knelt. Within seconds she was silently pulling out the knife that she kept in her sock, after getting attacked by Billy she never left the camp without it. Pretending that her attention was directed towards the graves she waited until the figure was right beside her before she pulls her knife on them, looking up her eyes landed on Slade. His eyes pointed to the blade in her hand then making eye contact, a small smirk was plastered on his face and his eyes shone with a hint of pride. Carefully she placed the blade back into her shoe and turned towards the handsome Australian.

"When you weren't back for lunch I got worried and went looking for you," he explained.

"I've been here for a while now."

"It is still dangerous to go out by yourself,' he reminded.

Of course, the threat of Billy Wintergreen ever hanging over their heads. Another one of my faults.

"I know. I just… I just needed a moment to myself. It has been pretty crowded feeling in the camp lately."

Slade nodded in agreement.

"Perhaps ask someone just to keep watch?" he suggested.

She nodded, half-heartedly. Shado had been training when Victoria had slipped away, Oliver was tending to the fire for their lunch and Slade was out hunting like most days. It hadn't crossed her mind to ask anyone to follow her and watch her back. The last thing she wanted was someone around for the last half hour. I don't need them seeing me weak. They need me strong. And she needed the privacy.

Slade walked towards her and sat on the ground next to her. His voice soft and husky as he remarked, "When you weren't in your usual haunts, I figured I might find you here."

"Yeah, well I needed a moment. Come to think of it, I haven't been here since Yao Fei's funeral…" her voice trailing off.

"I stayed away from my wife's grave for months. Couldn't bare it at first. But soon… soon it was one of the first places I went to when I got home from one of my missions. Honestly, I think it helped me grieve in a more healthy and steady way. Just me and my grief, no one to see me so undone."

Another way they were similar. It was great having him let her in like this. She knew how hard it was for him. Neither of them was good at these kinds of things.

"I miss him," she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear her as well.

Slowly he nodded his head. Waiting to see what else she wanted to say. His eyes met hers, tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill over. Quietly, he reached out a hand to hers and gently squeezed it.

"He wasn't always perfect. But he was a loving father. I used to think the world of him when I was younger. He could do no wrong in my eyes these days. He used to understand me better than anyone else. It was like he always knew what I was thinking. He was wonderful at encouraging me to follow my passions. He even wore a tutu once to help me practice. It was pink."

Slade let out a deep laugh and a smile appeared on Victoria's face from the memory and the merry sound.

"I thought he was the smartest man in the entire world. I'd ask him a million questions and he'd normally answer it or looked it up and told me about what he had found out about a topic. As you already know, I have never been very close to my mother. I never felt like she fully accepted me or understood me. Whereas, dad made me feel like he took me as I was. He was my hero. Until the day he wasn't anymore."

A questioning look flicker on Slade's face.

"My dad… he wasn't always faithful to my mom."

A look of shock flashed across Slade's face, quickly to be replaced with a look of understanding. Victoria nodded her head and looked awkwardly down at her lap, unable to look him in the eye. Her hand separating from his. Several seconds passed before she was able to speak again.

"I wasn't supposed to know about it. One day, Mom was going to be home late from the office, Oliver was doing whatever Oliver did in those days, I was supposed to be home late. My dance class canceled, so I was home earlier than I normally would have been. He was on the couch…," she paused, her eyes still focused on her lap.

"Jesus, that must have been…"

"Mortifying, yeah. I recognized her, she worked for my father's company. Pretty, brunette, pouty lip, big boobed bitch. I hadn't liked her when I first had met her. My father had apologized over and over again. He made me promise not to tell Oliver or Thea. I was furious. It is surprising but he didn't justify his actions to me. Never told me that what he was doing wasn't wrong. Like other father's have sometimes done. I was so angry with him. I'd hardly speak to him. I tried to keep a good distance away from him. I blamed him. I blamed the bitch he was sleeping with. I blamed my mother. I'm not sure how long it took but I remember being so upset and confused I marched into his office and yelled at him. I hadn't really ever had done that before. Yell at my father," she explained. "He just sat there, looking ashamed and upset. I still remember the tears rolling down his cheeks and how red his cheeks were. Yet he just sat there and waited until I had gotten all my anger out. I remember the look on his face and he reached out to hold me… but I pushed him away. He looked so broken but I was so angry. And confused."

Her tears had returned and her eyes landed on the stone mound that covered her father's grave.

"He must have said he was sorry a million times," her voice husky as she wiped a tear from her cheek. "Then he told me… he told me he wasn't going to see her anymore. He promised that he'd stop seeing Isabel. At first, I didn't believe him. Thought he was lying but… he stopped being gone so much. Started being around the house more. But… but it was never the same between us after that. Sure he tried to build our relationship again and it wasn't always awkward. But I knew what had happened. I knew one of his faults. And it made me feel like my entire life had been a lie. That the loving family I thought I had never existed, to begin with. I know it is common in my family circles but I thought our family was different. Thought he loved us enough not to do that."

Slade waited for her to pause and inched closer to her. Hesitantly, he reached for her hand. Her eyes still refused to look up. Gently he lifted her chin, her eyes finally found his. Without another word, she leaned towards him and let out a sob. Wrapping his arms around her, he allowed her to fall apart in his arms. He wanted to tell her that it was alright or that it wasn't her fault but he remained silent. Her tears completely drenched the top of his black tank top. Her hand grasped tightly around his shoulders, trying, and failing to steady herself. Slowly she sightly pulled away, but Slade kept his arms loosely around her.

"Gosh, I'm crying like a baby," she muttered, "I probably sound so naive and stupid."

"It isn't stupid, Victoria," he replied.

His eyes were warm and genuine. She offered him a watery smile and quietly wrapped her arms around him again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

A giant smile spread across his face and he tightened their embrace.

"You're welcome," he whispered back.

His voice comforting and the beating of his heart making her relax.

"You aren't stupid for wanting a normal and happy family. I think we all are looking for some sort of stability. It is human. It doesn't make you weak or naive," he said.

"But I should have seen what was going on. There were signs but I didn't want to put them together."

"Toria…"

"He must have been doing that for months but I never…"

"Toria, it isn't your fault. Your father made a mistake but that isn't your fault."

"But…"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Gently, he cupped her face and wiped the tears remaining on her cheeks with his thumb. Leaning closer towards her and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. Then she rested her forehead upon his. Opening her eyes she quickly took in his thick, dark lashes fanned on his cheeks. Closing them again, she breathed in his scent, sweat, metal and faintly like the plain soap they had back at camp, they were oddly comforting. Just like his presence.

"It is alright to be weak sometimes. It is alright to open up," he whispered.

"But I have to be strong," she tried to argue.

"Your only human, Toria. And I'm here for you if you ever need me."

She stared up into his eyes. And placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you," she breathed out.

She rested her head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. Placing a hand on his other shoulder, she looked up sheepishly and said, "I'm sorry I made your shirt all wet."

He let out a deep chuckle, "That's alright. I'm just glad you made good use of it."

A blush colored her cheeks rosy pink and she offered him a sweet smile.

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