Steven didn't know what to do, Connie was changed. Not in any way that changed how much he cared, but it changed how much she cared. She acted like Pearl at times, it hurt, but they were away from that nonsense! She'll be back to her old self in no time!
To help her, it meant asking questions you don't want answers to,"How did the 'I am nothing' start?" Connie looked embarrassed. At least she still looked at him.
"If that is what you wish, my Steven- was I not supposed to do that?" She asked, her arms in a diamond shape still. He flushed, it was oddly flattering but it hurt by what it means in the gem… culture? Society?
Steven decided on what he thought was fair,"You can continue if I'm allowed to call you my Connie," His hands now mirroring the diamond shape (in slight pain, how does she do it?), Connie blushed and put her hands down. Steven did the same, relieved of being out of the gem equivalent of a salute.
Connie went on,"Well it kind of was always there, not in that wording but there was always this tune we added on, you heard a bit of it,"
"The prepared to die thing, I thought she was talking to herself!Or being dramatic!" Steven squeaked. Steven's eyes bulged at the thought.
Connie looked down,"yes, and the 'do it for him', we actually called that, well she called it 'do it for her'," She smiled,"Well until you explained, I never knew why, I guessed but.. you confirmed that," Steven nodded. His gut hurt to hear 'for him'.
He looked at the house he'd made out of his desire, and chose to go to the balcony. Connie followed along, he said,"I want to see the night sky," and soon they had soft shooting stars and a black emptiness of sky only dotted with places far away, all of it fading into the now inilluminated pink cloud-like ground. It was peaceful and a good place for them not to look each other in the eye," how does the song go?" he asked.
Connie took a breath and said," Pearl started it started with 'Remember, you do it for him And you would do it again You do it for her, that is to say
You'll do it for him' and then… 'Keep your stance wide
Keep your body lowered As you're moving forward Balance is the key' then she added after I was decent with that,' Right foot, left foot
Now go even faster And as you're moving backwards
Keep your eyes on me' Then I would say 'Keep my stance wide
Keep my body lowered As I'm moving forward-"Connie breathed, "I then repeated ' Right foot, left foot' then Pearl would go, 'Yes, but put your whole body into it Everything you have, everything you are You've got to give On the battlefield When everything is chaos
And you have nothing but the way you feel, your strategy and a sword
You just think about the life you'll have together after the war
And then you do it for her That's how you know you can win
You do it for her, that is to say You'll do it for him' You saw some of that in non-tune form, and then she added a sympathetic, 'Deep down you know
You weren't built for fighting But that doesn't mean
You're not prepared to try What they don't know Is your real advantage' This is the part you hate,
'When you live for someone You're prepared to die' and I had my part
'Deep down I know That I'm just a human' and we deuted
'But I (she went You) know that I can draw my sword and fight' Then I'd go 'but With my short existence I can make a difference' " Connie regained breath and continued,"I can be there for him I can be his knight
I can do it for him' then Pearl goes 'You'd do it for her
Okay, now do that again' then she went 'You do it for her, and now you say' and by instruction I go 'I'll do it for him' and that's it" Connie breathed tiredly and smiled.
Steven took a deep breath, and slowly imagined Pearl's face and punched it. He didn't want to be angry, but it felt wrong to be okay with what she's done and this time, it was someone he cared about that didn't deserve it. Connie wasn't a gem, or an adult so this behavior is a new level of bad, he didn't know if he was allowed to forgive her.
This wasn't about him though, "I- I wonder how long it took you to create it, it takes people forever, but you guys did it so fast," Steven looked at her, believing that this would be easier.
It wasn't,"ugh, you don't know?" Connie asked, her voice was wavering.
"Know What?!" Steven heard his voice before registering he was talking.
"The time- You don't, Pearl has a ability to slow down time for people, so well I may have not emotionally or physically grown, I have spent years doing that routine with Pearl, I thought that was part of why you were mad," Connie couldn't look up from her shows," I thought she'd used it on you, or told you, I'm sorry for not bringing it up,"
Steven clenched his hands, raised his head slightly. responded gently," No, I'm glad I know" well his voice and his face held no malaise, he felt teary. He wasn't about to show his betrayal yet. Tomorrow was a perfect time for that. He went on,"Though you might want to go home, it's been a crazy day," he led her like the gentlemen he is and had his father drive them to her house.
The next day came faster than Steven liked. He had no clue what to do, or how to deal with this. It wasn't his first time dealing with other's problems. It was his first time dealing with a problem that revolved around him. A lot more than he knew how to deal with.
Connie came in with a smile, and a slight bow. Her hands in diamond salute. I greeted him the same before hugging her. She whispered in his ear," Um, well I know this is blunt, but I don't want to not be able to fight, so can I use the pink room to train?"
Steven was surprised but nodded," As long as you make time for recovering from, whatever happened these couple of months,"
The room made hallo-Stevens instead of hallo-pearls, and no knight duty bullcrap, but otherwise it was a training session that Connie would be used to. The room thankfully did what he wanted, it didn't limit from not understanding. If he at least knew vaguely, it could teach it to him, or Connie in this case.
He watched as she did skills he couldn't register, she looked better than Pearl at moments. Steven smiled in wonder of her abilities. Steven mumbled,"At least something good came out of that nightmare"
"What, Steven? Nightmare?" Connie asked. She looked at Steven and slashed a hallo-Steven without looking.
Steven blushed," I was talking?" Connie nodded." I was admiring your skills, and-" He blushed reddened,"-well I found it the only thing good about what happened, it was a nightmare,"
Connie laughed,"Oh, It makes sense my knight skills are amazing, it was a Knightmare, as you said" Her face showed her regret. A blush filled her cheeks, as she smiled. The room was tense, but her clashing against hallo-Stevens soon lifted it. Soon Connie zoned out, her mind lost in action.
Steven felt his gut pull at him as she seemed to not even try, he could feel his own heart break. He wanted to vomit, he wished he knew how to deal with this. He wanted to know how bad it was, it was so bad. He wanted to know where the line was, he wanted her okay. There was one way to know a lot of his questions.
It didn't feel right doing what he was about to do but he knew that it could take years if he didn't try. He'd rather have Connie happy sooner. He tapped Connie on the shoulder," Can you stop for a minute?" Connie sat down with Steven," I think I may know a way to help, but I need information, and for that we are going to have to fuse," Connie shrugged. Steven knew Connie wouldn't mind, but he minded.
The dance came to them, they dance in harmony. Soon Steven let his worry go, then the light took them. It left Stevonnie. Stevonnie searched everything, emotions started to whirl. They felt themselves twisting inside. It wasn't dizzy but tight. It hurt, really bad. So bad, and only then did Connie know how much she'd fallen.
Stevonnie broke in the heart, and then in form. The pain rattled her inside & out. Her tears were ever gleaming. Only then she knew how scared Steven was. She understood how terrible this all was. She had seen so much of Steven. He always has to do this, he'd hoped to fix it but he can't.